Secured Women Are Very Inconvenient - Must Watch 

Caring about what others think of us gets us nowhere.

I will never forget telling my Mom my goals of making six figures. She told me that anyone making over $40,000 was doing good and anyone wanting more was greedy. I shit you not she rushed and got a new job to get close to six figures and is now making six figures (because she just has to mention it to me every time we talk🙄). I was so upset, but as I grew more aware I really started to see her for who she really is, and honestly I just feel sad. Like damn you can't be happy for me? OOO yea no kids but happily married, that's a whole nother story in and of itself. People really don't wanna see you glow up and happy, even family. They want you to be miserable just like them. Thank God I moved across the country, I am so proud of me! Lone wolf in a HUGE family, just sad.

"Your Spirit wakes their Demons up." Denzel Washington

I learned this in marketing class. This is not a man or woman thing, this is a function of a capitalist system. They have to mold the way you view the world in order to sell you products. You have 100 pairs of shoes, but you don't have the new Jordans. Your car works totally fine, but it is not a Mercedes S-Class. You are beautiful just the way you are, but who leaves the house not wearing makeup? There are billion dollar companies whose only job is to make you feel uncomfortable and inferior in order to sell you stuff they promise will make you feel better. If they cannot do that the whole thing falls apart.

I always tell men. You not competing with other dudes you competing with my solitude. I have two kids at that. Even they understand peace is necessary! And they are boys! I refuse to be unhappy or disturbed just to say I have a "man" yikes...

I began wearing a ring on my wedding finger because I decided to be the partner for myself I needed. Once I started to see how and what makes me happy, i did actually become more “inconvenient” for men and I love that for me! I command respect from my boyfriend and when he pushes my boundaries, i walk right away happily and if he wants to be here, he will act accordingly!! Either way, I love me and I’ll be fine

Insecure people spend money. Its that simple

love it! Just like you, I attained this level of self awareness years ago and when men approach me and say “i can tell you’re a no nonsense person” i take it as a compliment because that tells me there is a way i carry myself that lets you know i have standards.

I love what she said about secure women are inconvenient! That is why I always tell women to worry about their self esteem, to learn how to vet, take control of your life and stop succumbing to anyone you deem superior to you (parent, partner, societies nonsense)!

For this reason, secure women are HATED which then requires the woman to up her self love which then bothers them more and she then has to up her self love even more. It is what it is.

Insecurities make us easier to manipulate, control and exploit. We have to love and believe in ourselves, no matter what! Thank you for this video, Destiny! ❤

There's a reason I wear a ring that says "I am enough" everyday.❤

"Stop looking outside for scraps of pleasure or fulfillment, for validation, security, or love - you have a treasure within that is infinitely greater than anything the world can offer." ~E. Tolle. Byron Katie said, "If I had a prayer, it would be this: 'God spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.'" This need for outside validation, outside love, to validate our worth ... it's transitory at best. At it's worst, you end up in a codependent or abusive relationship.

The only reason is to make you have babies and slave after him. You are the cutest Desteny!

You know, even as a childfree woman, you can still be an inspiration for your nieces, your cousins and with your YT channel your message can reach thousands of us 😊

Alot of people are going to get mad/upset, when you start doing things for your best interest. 🥰💅

Once you have the epiphany that the economy of other people's (especially strangers) thoughts is forever in the red, the better off you'll be.

Thank God I have high self esteem. I don't play.

I have always been called “demanding” but nope I just know what I want and if you don’t want to give it to me, get to stepping. When I was people-pleasing for a while in my life I ended up hospitalized with a rage disorder 😂 I came directly from the hospital and went back to my old ways(demanding, high standards) all the depression and anxiety has disappeared like magic 😊

What others think of me is none of my business.... let me add especially men.

Love this! I'm better looking than I was in my 20s in my late 30s. That's because I make choices from a healthier mental space and what speaks to me versus trends or societal norms. Wear makeup only maybe 30% of the time when I want to add a little dazzle. Lol! But at one point. I wore foundation, mascara, etc. Almost daily. Mentally, I'm less affected deeply by the world around me while still being empathic.

When you can take care of yourself and provide your own, there is a level of joy you get knowing you don’t have to wait for a man to pay a bill for you or help you. You know you not looking for a man to take care of you.

NGL, when the first stitch was speaking in a general sense, I was vibing, but when the second stitch started talking about men, it felt like air being let out of a balloon. We need to be free individuals. And you can never be that when you're centering your antagonist in every consideration. This situation is applicable to society in general, making it more insidious. We need general fortifications and glow-ups to combat EVERY angle, not just men. And NO, that's NOT saying let men off the hook. But it's a true 4B. They're not even a factor anymore!

Men alaays forget that they too have a bio clock that starts ticking at 30

love love love the Mother who said that she doesn't talk badly about herself in front of her Daughter. it's the little silent languages like that (mother and daughter dynamics) that can loudly voice a big change in the world. it speaks life for creating a society of secure women who know their power, worth and value. a society of women who are translating our own Matriarchal culture that was starved from our ancestral mother's nourishing breasts and gaslighted by men force feeding their patriarchal sperm culture, books, ideologies, religions, philosophies and so on and so forth. i chose not to have children, have been abstinent for 14 years and i've known since childhood that i didn't want to get traditionally married. i'm not afraid of being alone, but a life partner in soul would be pleasing. i say all this because we can't expect every hetero woman who learns about 4B to immediately get a divorce from the husband she obviously loves, stop dating men, stop having sx, stop getting married or stop having babies (although would be nice if women could start only birthing girls lol). but there are many ways to support 4B or creating powerful change for women whether you're a single woman, a wife or a mother. and the mother i mentioned above is a prime example. so no matter where women are right now in life (single, a girlfriend, dating, married, a mother, a grandmother etc.), it is in our inherent power from Mother and our grateful duty to Her to destroy the old and create the new. patriarchy must die for matriarchy to be reborn.

Deeply appreciate your input on your own life and how you navigate your marriage. My family is mixed and I def see the African descendent line women cater to men in a way I don’t think is healthy. It’s almost like the man is put in the center unconsciously, while the women live around his needs, but hardly centering themselves enough to create a life for themselves. I find it so brave that you inspire so many people and I def think you having a daughter and raising her with your mindset could be the biggest gift you can give this world besides the wonderful work you do here (an probably many other things we don’t know about). I also have a daughter and I am modern mom without a village. It’s very tough, but every time I feel down and stressed I think of all she is learning from me, how much love I pour into her and strength. I know she will carry a legacy of women’s empowerment and will spread this new consciousness further when I am no longer here. She has the blueprint in her now. Much love to everyone reading this and to you, for sharing such amazing content 🌟

This is me! For a long time I cared but not anymore.

This also begins with women loving themselves and this loving other women!❤

Thank you Destiny✨ I needed to hear this, I became more aware how I lived by others telling who, how, what I should be. I need to start living for me. Validation of ourselves not validation from others. ✨

5:58 There's no sound here

Well, the best way to prevent passing down insecurities to the next generation is to not make anymore generations. 🤷 I (thankfully!) don't have a daughter or a son (and never, ever will!) #4B #Childfree 🧘 #ChildfreeForLife 🧘 #PeaceOfMind 🧘 #TheBear 🐻

When I heard this a few days ago I had to follow this woman. I was like yessss preach

Ladies and gents, have you noticed we are called easily mean feminists?? Just because some feminist are really mean towards men, kids and mothers, doesn't mean CF are it. Most certainly the opposite. Never met one mean CF woman, no opposite, caring women are they, thoughtful, critical thinkers, ambiouts, lovely social circle and so fourth, actually really something to envie. I understand now better and better why we are met with so much irritation and or hate. I admire all of you strong CF women❤

😂 I was not able to edit my comment and correct to Destiny. RU-vid is blocking some of my commenting a ility.

This is my favourite commentary you’ve done, I completely agree with everything you said. Keep up the good work ❤

Love what she said and I agree.

🙏🏽 Thank you Ms. Destiny for giving your personal testimony; it means something. That about being intentional about everything - Intentionality is part of self- love and self-trust and it is definitely something I have been needing to work on. 🙏🏽❤️

Thanks for Sharing

This is TRUE!

She is absolutely right!!!

I love this discussion. Can you link the full video, pls?

Exactly that’s how I am I don’t listen to any of that foolishness they tried to force on me and it makes a lot of people mad because they can’t make me insecure lmao. I will always teach my daughter to think just like me. I’m glad I woke TF when I turned 21 and left my ex. I no longer allow any man to hold me back or anyone to influence me in any ways whatsoever. It was very frustrating when I kept going to college and folks kept trying to force me down the path they thought was better fit for me. They would sabotage me and do stuff to get me kicked out or removed from school because they don’t want to see me independent. I had a guy give me a stack and told me to get my body done and be a stripper I was like wtf. I took the money but obviously i didn’t become a stripper because that’s not a career that’s a job and once you are old that job is useless, plus it’s degrading so I wasn’t having it. I still kept going after my goals.

Does anyone know who the first woman is? She has a great style

Yes Destiny you got swag

She’s selfish and don’t give back to anyone or anything. Wants to receive everything and give nothing

Thing is is when you're being a certain way for a man (ex:dressing "modestly"), he is lusting after other women completely opposite of you (ex: dressing next to nudity). So you may as well be your own trophy... I used to wear head wraps all the time in my last relationship, I burned them all! I get so many compliments on my natty dreadlocks💗 beyoutofull empress