@user-pn6rd6fv9w all the guys like the one in the video were probably telling their ex things like "who are you trying to impress" and "you're a mom, you shouldn't be trying to dress like 20 something single" during their marriage every time she did put in effort. Some men strangely have a uniform of respectability they expect their wife to adhere to, but don't find it attractive.
Because post divorce ex-husbands have mandated child visitation, giving the ex-wife time to rest and exercise. If glow-ups occurred it means that you were a horrible husband.
This! Many men actually spend more time with their kids AFTER divorce/breakup because it's court ordered. A judge literally has to make them be the primary parent for a set amount of time. Those weekend visits provide free time for the mom. There were no breaks for mom while in the marriage/relationship.
My ex doesn’t have mandatory visitation nor does he pay child support. I have my child 100% of the time. I still had a glow up. I lost 55lbs, my skin looks better, my hair is healthier and people keep telling me that I’m aging in reverse. For me, I literally gave my whole self to my marriage and my child. It was not reciprocated and I was in a very low place. After the divorce, I was able to come back to myself after therapy and lots of self development.
Facts! But its probably because the grass he thought was greener aint at all, and he thought he would make himself feel better by looking back at his "poor, lonely, frumpy ex" but she's doing great, so he feels stupid 😂
Nah. Men like this want their wives to look super hot, have all of that energy, and stay and put up with them. I don't think so. Men have no idea how much work and stress they add to a woman's life. It's like they think that a household runs itself and all of their requests/demands/requirements are a pleasure. I mean, you're a woman. What else would you rather be doing? What other purpose does your life have? SMDH. 😒😒
@@theteleisewilliamsexperience cus if you don't, the weaponized incompetence man will destroy your property and threaten the safety of your children. Because after having lied long enough to convince ya to marry him and have kids, that puts him in a position that's easy to exploit ya because contrary to what incels might tell ya, divorce is actually a pretty time consuming and expensive process, especially with an uncooperative man who has proven to be perfectly willing to lie and screw you over.
They do know, and they don't care as long as they get the social capital of those kids they don't take care of. They don't care at all as long as they're happy.
I remember before I got with my now husband how I got out of a so called 5 yr relationship and how terrible I looked after. Like id been to war. I lost weight, went celibate, and my happiness and self confidence came back I had fun. Now I'm married and still having fun.
After my divorce, I could cook on Sunday and survive on left overs for the rest of the week. I could take naps a few times a week. My house stayed clean. There was no more piss on the back of the toilet because some one didnt have proper aim. I also could be at peace to know that my "man" could not get the opportunity to cheat and give me an STD and my BV cleared up. I was also able to work 2 jobs in peace and save money and not hide it from the greedy "man" who would try to take it. I could also take "cost effective" trips and not have someone try to talk me out of it. I also dont have to suffer in having 3 minutes of the worst sex ever and wishing hot grease would fall on him Life is peaceful now and my hair is growing back.
Nobody ever said I was beautiful until after I got divorced. No weight gain or loss in me before, during, or after the marriage. I just lost all 150 lbs of my ex husband and his thousands of pounds of oppressive, evil, manipulative behavior towards me.
I didn't even notice that I was beautiful until after my divorce. I saw a picture of me after the divorce and I cried. I never knew I was beautiful before.
It's cortisol buildup from stress. Once the stressful relationship is gone, the cortisol will, too. You can't glow up with someone keeping you in the darkness.
It's weird cuz it was the opposite for me. I lost weight from the stress instead, didn't eat much, was always walking on eggshells. Now I'm free, happier, have a better appetite and I hate that I gained a few pounds but they're happy pounds 😂
I literally went from 143lbs when I met my ex husband to ballooning up to 240lbs due to depression, anxiety and insanity from a broken marriage. I’m finally back to 155 lbs after leaving him and steadily losing weight. I’m finally happy and relieved from all of the issues that came with being in that marriage. I was in survival mode everyday and we didn’t even have children together. My skin is clear, my body is stronger from working out, I have mental clarity, my hair is growing out after purging myself of bad food habits and unhealthy living and I’m experiencing living life without the drama of being with an ungrateful, selfish, and uncaring man. I never thought another person could drain so much energy from me.
Agree. I always take a look at the wife to rate the caliber of the man. Decent men make sure the wife is well taken care of. Overweight wife, haggard wife, and/or unkempt wife shows the man is using her as a tool.
The entitlement that men have will never shock me. Our nervous system is back on track and so is our PH Balance, our edges are growing back, our skin is clearing up from stress acne and glowing, we stacking our bread up quicker and on vacations with our girls doing whatever we want without a nagging man waiting at home for us. I’m my best when I’m single because nobody can treat me better than I treat myself.
And that's why they're pushing the non-working tradwife thing so hard! They want us financially trapped and have no choice but to stay with a man in order to literally not be homeless and starving! I guess good luck to any women who fall for that one! Hopefully it works out for them!
It's funny and weird that men are supposed to be logical and analytical but can not figure out they were the problem. They were the source of stress and chaos that prevented her glow up during their union. 😅
@@RaspberryHugs I always have to point out that people only mention anger as an emotion... What about everything else? They go through Jealousy Sadness Joy Anger Etc. All human emotions. But they pretend they dont.
I tried to glow up while the marriage was deteriorating but he kept sabotaging my progress (buying me cookies when i started meal preping, asking if I wanted ice cream or McDonalds french fries everyday, asking why i wasting money at the gym). My husband wanted me to be fat so no one else would want me.
I’m sorry that sound so maliciously…evil. Like wtf 🤬😔. I’m so sorry, don’t let him or anyone stop you. Your power triggers their insecurities and they know it. Keep shining, Angel 💋
This happens with non-married people as well. She dropped the dead weight that was holding her back. Men have NO IDEA how exhausting they can be, to be with. All the validation - that takes energy - from the people around them. All the work they refuse to do - that takes energy - from the people around them. They get clingy. Whiny. Jealous. Angry. That all takes energy - from the people around them. I find the only time I HAVE the extra energy to look nice, wear makeup, pursue the hobbies I can afford, and pay attention to my life and my goals, is when I am completely single. Men wear women to the ground. They tear us women down until we are merely an empty shell of ourselves. Bc they refuse to do the work required to be a grown adult. And it's even worse when children are involved. There is NO TIME for ourselves.
There is a serious shift in the conscience of women. We are realizing that marriage is not the flex that women think it is...at least not for the wife🙄
And some women would FAKE SO MUCH being in a perfect relationship and doing the most extreme PR for their husbands ... When in reality they are pos ... I knew a woman who brag about her marriage SO much and his rich husband while we know he has cheated on her twice ... And those only the cases she discover, i bet he sleep with more women while "travel so much for work" ...
That one woman who said the door to the relationship is closed is so right. he's upset that she glowed up after him because in some way, he still thinks he has sexual ownership of her and is resentful that she's hot now and he can't have her back.
Stress...lack of stress from men. I can attest to this. I left my ex and was FINALLY getting 8 hours undisturbed sleep. I ate food I liked and it was not all eaten in 2 days after shopping. I have control of finances and actually have money saved now. No more slamming doors, breaking things on purpose or dealing with weaponized incompetence when it came, to well, everything. Even my fur babies are calmer. I have lost 80lbs, my hair started coming back in and I swear my wrinkles are reduced. Chaos, being unpredictable and unreliable, lying about things and then gaslighting me about them, just being loud and slamming things in general, breaking my items on purpose, hissy fits when he had to do something for himself, never having anyone to take care of me when I was sick but rather, have him bitch and moan and make it harder, complaining about everything I did- that stress is all gone. My space is clean and smells good, there is happiness and peace. I was 49 and looked a bad 65... I am now 50 and people tell me I look barely 40. Imagine that. I can go and get a pedicure and a massage, without someone stomping around because they have to make their lunch or the money issues. If I want to sleep in, or have a Gilmore Gilmore girl marathon, with coffee, snacks and my cats, I don't have someone sitting there, heavy breathing at me and asking me 100's of stupid questions for no reason outside of just trying to disturb me. All those places we were supposedly going to go or all those things you were going to do for me- yeah, I'm doing them myself and enjoying my life, fully! Why are you paying attention NOW? OOPS couldn't be it was your fault!!!!
The last long term relationship I had ended around 2004. He was tall, gorgeous, dressed well, etc but he was still awful. Verbally and psychologically abusive. Narcissistic. When I met him I was doing so well with my jewelry business and looked amazing. I started gaining weight and he lost weight almost immediately. My business faltered. My income went down the tubes. My self esteem went south because of all his negging. Right after we broke up I was 29 but two different people said I looked 40. I went on a self care mission after that. I’m now 48 and people think I’m in my 30s. Some men are good partners but soooo many are parasites.
When she wanted to work out did you accuse her of cheating? Did she dress up one day and you accused her of cheating? When she wanted to go back to school did you accuse her of cheating?
ESPRESSO OPINION: The glow up isn't limited to marriage,even our own male relatives!! After kicking out my male relative who wanted me to baby him yet I was working, letting him stay at mine,and he couldn't even take out the trash without throwing a tantrum or giving the silent treatment. I have since become a picture of success,peace and abundance, it's a complete transcendence!! Men ,(even the said golden retrievers),have incubus energy!!!!
Golden retreivers are inmature men that laugh a Lot and joke. Lot and then sig down and ACT LIKE BABIES while doing weaponized incompetence SO their gf do everything for them .... They are the same as mature men just playing cute ...thats all
Yes!!! I remember using that EXACT phrase years ago talking to my mother about relationships. She laughed and thought I was just being dramatic referencing removal of a gangrenous limb and those were my EXACT words to her. Wow!!! 😮
The real question is why woman in bad relationships have a glow down. It's the stress! It's the chronically evelated cortisol. It's the minimal time for self care. It's the double duty of earning money plus doing majority of childcare and house chores. It's feeling the burden of all the responsibilities for years and years. It's the loss of sleep from taking care of babies. It's men being energy vampires. It's the deprrssion from unrealistic beauty standards put on women - like to have a baby but she must snap back to early 20s pre baby body. When a woman is free of a bad relationship, her healing begins and starts looking healthy again. The glow up naturally happens.
I (32) work retail with younger and older women. I have an equal partner and generally aren't too stressed out. One of the younger woman said "i always forget you have a husband child and whole life" i was confused and asked what she meant. She says "you just seem happy never stressed". That REALLY broke my heart. Her idea of motherhood is stress and being overwhelmed. 😢
That's my reality as a mother who is chronically ill, depressed and has anxiety. I can barely function. I am truly jealous of people who aren't in my situation
I love my two adult children dearly but I'm not sure I would have had them if I'd known what I was in for. Their father left when they were 2 and 3. Don't have kids unless you're prepared to do it alone. No matter what he tells you.
We glow up after every relationship, cause we just broke it off with the devil, and we can feel joy again. Can't feel joy around men, they'll deliberately destroy it. If you do everything you can to keep your wife unhappy, why would she be looking good and feeling good, cause these two things come together.
@icequeen491 I mean ik that..but weather your a man a woman what I've noticed ppl change and switch up during a relationship, I'm not sayn it's right but I also believe not everthing supposed last forever..wen I look at ppl who been married for 20+ years I just think how much they tolerated each other, sometimes ppl be scared to leave and start over thats why they stay so long..I just don't wanna do that.
Statistics say single, no kids women are generally happier than married, with kids. Healthier & wealthier, too. Into retirement. Now, generally may not specifically mean you, but this bears consideration before moving in with a man.
Break ups as well. My ex and I crossed paths at the airport and he couldn't believe what he saw. Suddenly got really friendly. I was like, "do i know you?" I proceeded to go to the lounge and his ass sat by the gate or wherever he went.
@@sensimania if a vibe can be pristine it was pristine. Oh and I've gotten my law degree, my dream job, a house, 2 cars, a bunch of friends, and my sanity back since I stopped allowing him to waste my time. Decenter men. That's all. If one that's an actual man and a human being comes along, welcome sir. Otherwise I'm good. I have no hard feelings. I wish him well.... away from me. Really keeping my spirit and my psyche clear. I also don't have time to waste my energy on being upset or hating on him.
Studies show that men are happiest when married and with kids, and women are happiest alone and childless. Then men turn around and try to say that being a mother is the most fulfilling part of a woman's life? No, it's the most fulfilling part of Men's life (having a wife and mother to his kids) because they don't have to do much and get the rewards.
I was in a relationship in my thirties for a minute. I started smoking again while dating him. I had such anxiety, and my hair fell out from stress. I kicked him to the curb. I bought a house, my hair grew down my back, I went on a cruise, and enrolled in school to get my Master's degree.
Sis you are goals! I love every part of your glow-up story (especially the going back to school and going on a cruise.) Sail away into a lifetime of peace and prosperity!
Women drop weight and look good because it takes TIME and EFFORT to look good and change eating habits. Instead of these men genuinely loving women and being ok with some things sliding a little bit in exchange for our time, effort, and love, they're ungrateful. We aren't super heroes, and there are 24 hours in a day. An extra person in our lives takes away the limited time that we do have.
The kicker is this happens in relationships outside/before marriage already. This is how I knew I'm not interested in marriage, because if you're already draining me before we get married - it's going to get worse when we're married.
I always remember a line from the Delany sisters book-the ladies that lived to be over 100 years old and wrote a book and then there was a Broadway play some years ago. People asked them how they managed to live so long and they said, “we don’t have any husbands to worry us to death!”
Their resentment for the woman's glow-up tells what type of person this man is. If I'm in a relationship and things end and I see the person has a better life, I'm happy for them! I actually want people to thrive and be happy and I want it for myself. If I feel like I made life worse for my partner I will try to learn from that experience and be better for my next partner (if a romantic partnership is something I want in my life). And I want the ex to be happy because this means I'll have peace, if the ex is in peace they won't be disturbing MY peace!
Not having to clean up after another person. Who would purposefully mess things up, helps a lot. Also, not letting then drain your light, from the inside out.
it’s because all the years of her being drained by him finally gets to be poured back into her in every beautiful way possible 🤭 it’s like she’s returning to herself!
Stress increases cortisol levels. When I was with my ex boyfriend I was gaining weight like crazy while doing nothing in particular different. Since I’ve been single…. I’ve lost over 40 lbs and I’ve done nothing different then when I was with him. It’s the stress that will kill us.
Being with my ex was like being in a relationship with a Vampire! Towards the end, I really took a long hard look at myself & realized that I AND our children would be better off without him! EVERYTIME I see my old pictures, I see the unhappiness in my eyes at the time! I've got the sparkle back in my eyes & I refuse to let some buster take it away again!
Women in relationships always have to be "ON" Men require constant validation, cheerleading, complaining,whether it's work, family,etc..sometimes men intentionally get you fat, especially if the man cooks😂
Getting away from a controlling, overbearing, abusive marriage FEELS SO GOOOOOD!! It's like being let out of a mental and financial (and sometimes physical) cage, and you just BLOSSOM! I'm sure men in bad relationships experience this, also. But given that women tend to be victims of abuse at higher rates than men, you just notice it more in women who are set free.
Bc we are less stressed and happier! Only have to worry about ourselves, the child, work, and the bills. Not another person’s issues that you can’t fix! Not having another person around making you feel less than and unloved! ❤️❤️❤️ It’s freeing! 🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yes, with the wrong person, you start asking what's the point if all they do is compare you to other women anyway. Why try to impress someone who doesn't appreciate it. At least when you're single you are more free to find someone who does appreciate you.
Women glow up when they are poured into, whether by themselves or their partner. Women who are married that stay extremely beautiful are beautiful because their husbands or partners take care of them and shower them with love, affection, care and tell them how much they mean to them. If a person genuinely loves you, they show how much they value you throughout your entire relationship, not when you’re getting ready to walk away.
Men tend to drain their wives/girlfriends and stress them out... all of that leads to unhealthy weight loss/gain, autoimmune issues, cancer, heart conditions, lethargy, etc. When a woman is free, she heals and starts gaining/losing healthy weight. Her mind isn't cluttered and stressed. 😂
Because they no longer have dead weight on them. They no longer feel depressed. They no longer are tired. They finally healed and feel better about themselves and feel well rested
"why does she glow up after divorce?" Because while she was with you, you did not help her like a real partner should in a healthy relationship, you sir basically drained her like a human leech, and leave her like a prune emotionally and mentally etc by herself, And didn't help her and even made it worse by complaining about her appearance, and she not doing xyz anymore etc when she was/in a dark place that you basically ignored instead of fixing by going to therapy and putting in effort to listen and helping her, Until it was too late and she left you, and now she actually has time to get help for herself, and no longer has someone like you to make the situation worse by just piling on and not helping when she needed it, Yeah you may not be a mind reader nobody is but you know there was both signs and she probably said something to you, you ignored or thought it was nagging.
I was with my ex for 8 months. In 8 months I went from a size 3 to a size 9. After we broke up I went back down to a size 3. All he wanted to do was stay at home to eat and have relations. I didn't make time for myself to maintain my weight and appearance.
Women are often HAPPIER ❤. FREEDOM. They no longer have to be forced into being SMALL or hide their IDENTITY. The struggle, strings and control has ended. The woman is now owning her LIFE and can make her own decisions. Good stuff.
Wow this is my subject as a woman who has just lost over 40 kg after divorcing one of the worst human beings I’ve ever met in my life It’s because you drown us so much with your emotional baggage and your trauma and your belittlement and bullying that while you’re stepping on us we don’t have the strength to rise up When you are no longer with us if you’re free and we feel light LASTLY THE REVENGE IS SWEET WHEN YOU LOOK SWEETER
My ex-husband was the first type. I didnt glow up so much as I was happier, doing more things that made me happy instead of begging my ex-husband to involve himself with me, our children, and our home. Surprisingly, I haven't had any mental health issues in the six years since my divorce. (While married I was suicidal.)
We have more time and less stress 🤷🏽♀️ that’s proof to single childfree women should maintain their status. Don’t date,marry, or have children with them
Why the glow up after leaving the husband or BF; less work, even if they have children, eating better, reduction in bills, having more personal time as they don’t have a king baby wanting someone to fulfill their every need. I had a relative whose BF asked her what she wanted for her birthday. Her fridge had conked out, so she told him she needed a new one. He went to the appliance store and came back with a big screen tv, stereo equipment and speakers. So much for listening to what women want.
When you’re dealing with a suppressive man in particular, that will suck all the energy out of you. Then when you finally leave him, you end up glowing up because you have all this energy again that you didn’t realize you lost. I just stopped dealing with a man who wouldn’t say out of his mouth that he didn’t want me going anywhere with anybody or making any friends, but his attitude and actions would tell me that he didn’t. I only had peace with him when I was home alone all the time. I felt like a powered-down computer. Now that we’ve stopped talking I feel like myself again. I’m smiling & happy. Never be with a man who makes you lose yourself
I was in an on again off again, abusive marriage for 7 years. Disabled kicked out of my own home I paid rent and bills for. Was homeless but couch crashing, and good people took me in til I got on my feet and got urgent life saving medical care. The reason why we "glow up" after divorce is because we "leveled up" we pursued our own healing and recovery and it makes us happy and fulfilled.
The last lady said it all!!!! 💯 He only proved why 4b is working. They only care about what women look like and what women do for them. Once that stops and they feel it, like the power just went out is when they give a damn.
Maybe its coz the abuse has stopped and she is finally stress free. When a woman has her peace of mind she will naturally glow. If something is weighing on her shoulders or bothering her, it will shine thru by how she looks. I can always tell a woman who is miserable in a relationship. 🤷🏽♂
Also I was all of those things before he came along. But HE was causing me so much stress it threw off my routine mentally, and physically… Not helping with the child, things like that…. Once I left, so did those issues! ❤️ I’m 40 to btw.
These divorced women are looking and acting amazing because they no longer have to take care of every damn thing. Take care of the house, take care of the children, take care of the man-child, take care of their husband's emotional needs, etc. They can finally take care of themselves physically and mentally. And thank goodness the second woman talked about women just looking happier and being *spiritually* happy. And I do like the idea that sometimes it's not about you, so move on; the question does not need an answer.
What is that woman talking about not the man's fault? He was being selfish and not asking "what did I do/could I have done better to assist her glowing up for me?" but it most definitely is the man's draining her that is the problem 🙄
