Sex before marriage was the worst thing I did to my mental health..…here’s why. 

Modesty is a concept born from the shame forced into the minds by religion. Modesty is a concept of being judged by those who've fallen in with a sinister religious sect that would otherwise shame people into living the way the church feels they should live instead of how the individual WANTS to live. Live and let live without judgment. That's something religious people have a problem with.

​@@theraweggfilesSTFU

@@theraweggfiles No, normal people have a problem with it. And if you knew anything about what you're talking about you would know that pretty much every culture before Christianity put a value on modesty and chastity, even tribal people who weren't part of organized religion.

Yes, and those people were ignorant. Coming at me with what you claim I do or don't know speaks more about YOU than it does about me. I stated a fact. Morality is not something any one person can judge in someone else, and yet religious, yes, religious people (and tribal people and other ignorant people) live in the most immoral way by judging and shaming others into living how those judging them want them to live. Like I said, live and let live because after all, what right does anyone have to tell others how to live?@@ryanferguson9249

​@@theraweggfilesShame is good sometimes.

Weird,I thought we can make children during sex…

​@@xyeBSex is more than making babies. You must be slow, you don't deserve to be called a human, you think like a monkey. 😂 Well, when the father is evil, the children will be evil. Sex is not just sex, it is important how it happens and who is with. I mean why did the serpent go after a woman, why does the devil always go after women through evil men. Though rapists, aggressive men, etc. Because whatever bad happens to the mother will affect her children, and future generations. So go read the bible, instead of being a prideful, arrogant pig and watching Andrew Tate. 😂🤡 Also stay away from women until you find God. Weirdo.

this is true im so hurt

I'm so sorry ❤​@@RankinHalo

Mostly men lose interest after having sex so to save women from betrayal it is recommended to not have

😂😂😂 this comment is so great! Very true

Yes so true. Good ridden to those men!

@thatboy301 Articles say the average vagina is about 3-4 inches deep or 3.5 inches deep unaroused. Aroused it can get up from 4.25in - 4.75in. The clitoris is part of the vulva (external genitalia) and inside the pelvic cavity. It is innervated with many nerve endings. According to Cleveland Clinic,” It’s sole purpose is to enable you to experience sexual pleasure.” Not to mention, from the same article above, the vagina’s g-spot is located a few inches deep and near the front wall of the vagina. Cleveland Clinic states that the g spot may line up with the vestibular bulbs of the clitoris (they engorge with blood during during sexual stimulation) which may make it feel pleasurable. All in all, females can feel pleasure from the inside and out. As long as there is good communication, I’m sure a male with a 5in penis would be able to satisfy their partner. Citations: my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/22823-clitoris my.clevelandclinic.org/health/body/22469-vagina www.webmd.com/women/features/vagina-size goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered-questions/how-deep-average-vagina-and-does-it-elongate-when-somethings-it/

Amen sister ❤

Easy for to say, let's see how much your husband's gets laid from you once you get what you want

Yes. People laugh at girls who want to say no sex before marriage saying it's just because of religion but they don't understand there are other good reasons for it.

@@ryokohonda4619 I am actually atheist but agree with this mindset. I am 24 and waiting until marriage (or at least engagement). I have no interest in being taken advantage of by someone who isn't serious about me

This is literally what God ingrained in you. You're literally supposed to feel degraded after sleeping with people outside of wedlock, because it's not pure. It's entirely Christian, and on purpose. Applies to men and women.

⚠🔴 In the Quran, God says: "Do not even approach fornication for it is an outrageous act and AN EVIL WAY" (Surah Al-Isra, verse 32). Quran contains interesting surahs (= chapters) like: The Women, Mary, Abraham, The Moon, Noah, The People, The Star, Abraham, etc. If you want a free copy of the Quran, Go-o gle these 4 words: islamhouse quran english pdf -May God guide you

@@ryokohonda4619 It's mainly other women that laugh at it, me and my friends would never date a girl that's had casual sex and we'd never even marry a girl that's casually kissed a guy

Oh another muslimah 🧕 Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullah

Well said 🥰

@Leandro Aude Guess I’m lucky cause my husband is the best I’ve ever had (out of 4 other partners).

muslim women here too ^^ Assalamu alaykum sister

@Leandro Aude you are aware though that this applies to men too? both are supposed to enter marriage as virgins if you are going by religion. no woman who saved herself for her husbands wants a husband who has slept around

true!

Always remember that Jesus love you and you can have a strong relationship with him no matter what you choose he love's unconditionally. It doesn't diminish your worth if you decide to have sex before marriage everyone makes that choice regardless he still love you.

Amen God has been so good in my life too, even in my trials

The mainstream really doesn’t care

@thatboy301 it's not always about physical attributes!

@thatboy301 size doesn't matter if they know what they are doing! Unfortunately a lot man don't understand a woman's body what is needed to actually please a woman! Every person is different and communicating is important in every way!!

No, it's not about common sense. Our culture objectifies women from the moment they're born and grooms them to seek their worth by attracting men. Don't make it into an individual problem when it's systemic. That is the opposite of love and compassion.

@@MsMusicalBeans I never said our culture didn't have anything to do with this. I agree with that, BUT that doesn't mean it alters your innate common sense and intuition as a woman. Women, every single one of us, has been born with intuition. Men lack this and this is a key difference between males and females. Intuition is a woman's best line of defense. You have a choice to pay attention to it or ignore it. You didn't understand my comment at all, obviously. Love and compassion ARE your self respect for your body, and mind and well-being; your intuition is what helps you maintain it, as well as keeping your personal integrity. A Bible isn't going to give you that.

Despite all the closeness and friendship and this and that, when it comes down to it, if two people, however close they are, are not compatible in the bedroom, that is a HUGE part of life they will miss out on, or just "settle" for. There has to be a balance. You CAN have sex before marriage and not let it consume your life.

Im hearing - "innate common sense and intuition." Im hearing - "having personal boundaries and respecting and loving your body as a temple." But when you say; you dont have to be a Christian or follow the bible to have these traits, I think, that seems off... Im not here to preach im here to say that these innate values you are describing are in you for a reason and exist because of God and are established in his word in the Bible, Thats where they come from to begin with. Your "intuition" and "self respect" and "common sense" among other traits, values and morals that you describe did not plant themselves in you from nothing. I strongly encourage you to read Gods word and decide for yourself. With God all things are possible. I also applaud you because it looks like you make very good choices when it comes to being sexually intimate with a partner, something our society definitely needs!

Y'all real❤

This! People do not understand this

That's what I wanted for myself but I think many people fall into hookup culture because we don't all meet "Mr. Right" at a young age. But it's nice to know someone people don't go through that.

It's easy to wait for marriage when you're still a teen lol that's why so many religious folk get married young

@@tc7170 True. In Christianity we are taught to wait and encouraged to get married first. And my Christian friends are all married now. But they don't prepare kids to face the reality of possibly being alone for a long time when you get older.

Amen to that

I think you have a calling when it comes to learning, sharing testimonials, and teaching women about how to be true to ourselves and our hearts. You have an ability to be super unapologetically vulnerable and it’s so refreshing. I’d love to see more content like this from you!

She definitely does have such a strong influence and if she combines that with her faith in Jesus Christ is going to do amazing things. So happy for this.

@thatboy301 bro what? Don’t come in here spewing nonsense. A large percentage of women can’t have vaginal orgasms it’s more about clitoral stimulation. If you think just penetration is gonna work on a woman no matter what size you are, you’re not gonna be able to please her. So get out of here with that bs and let her make the decision that is best for her.

Ladies, if a guy hasn’t put a ring on it don’t sleep with them. It’s pretty simple.

⚠🔴 In the Quran, God says: "Do not even approach fornication for it is an outrageous act and AN EVIL WAY" (Surah Al-Isra, verse 32). Quran contains interesting surahs (= chapters) like: The Women, Mary, Abraham, The Moon, Noah, The People, The Star, Abraham, etc. If you want a free copy of the Quran, Go-o gle these 4 words: islamhouse quran english pdf -May God guide you

EXACTLY. Love is the key.

How do you know you love someone after only 6months? In the grand scheme of this what Alana is saying is that when women do what you describe (have sex I’m assuming before marriage) they find that there is no love in between the relationship - real love. Not just “I like you you like me let’s live together and have sex”. You know what I mean?

Did you just ignore the Oxytocin evidence and what she said in the video? 😅

i feel you girl keep fighting you got this!

I'm sorry you had to experience that. So many people have come across Christians who don't lead with love as the Bible says. Shaming and making people fearful shouldn't be part of the church. Unfortunately there are many churches that don't teach the right way and the right things. But the church isn't God, you can still have your own personal relationship with Him. Bless you!

As a Christian who grew up in purity culture, I can personally see how you’d feel that way. It’s always directed towards females too, like men don’t have the same responsibility!! Crazy! Lucky I had parents who raised me in a home where it was safe to talk about sex and come with questions. My mom lead me through a bible study and more. I mean the poor woman really would answer ALL my questions. At the end of the day, I hope you can heal and know that God loves you.

@Leandro Aude I think you’re missing what I’m saying. I’m talking about Christian culture. Aka sex outside of marriage is a sin. If a man and woman want to live without participating in that sin that it isn’t just the woman’s responsibility. As they say “takes two to tango”. But a lot of times women don’t have that option as their virginity was taken without consent. So there’s that too. I’d never want a girl to feel less because of that either. Which can be an issue in purity culture.

@Leandro Aude That statement you just said is so harmful. Saying that victims of rape or domestic violence “lack common sense” or “aren’t careful enough” is an incredibly incorrect and horrible thing to say. It is never the victims fault. Ever. You are victim blaming. Any person who harms another person is the one to blame. Never the other way around.

your feelings are understandable, It's always difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation when my wife of 12 years left me, i couldn't just let her go. I did all I could to get her back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual adviser who helped me bring her back.

@@ddirtdid Wow, how did you get a spiritual adviser, and how do i reach her?

@@Margart526 her name is MONICA ERLENE MORA, and she is a great spiritual adviser as well as a caster and healer

@@ddirtdid Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked her up online. impressive.

​@@Margart526 These things are fake.... better go to therapy or something. Don't fall for their scam.

Thank you!

Perfectly explained! ✨

This 👌

Hi! I would love to share my perspective on this matter and reply a bit about what you said; Just for anyone interested in sharing ideas and having a safe space for open dialogue. I have seen that a lot of people think the concept of waiting until marriage is foolhardy because it may encourage some (especially young people) to jump into any marriage just to have sex and eventually end up in divorce. I totally understand how one can come to that conclusion. The true purpose however is not reflected in those outcomes and endeavors. The right idea, which I'm sure you already know, is that if you go into marriage for the sake of marriage and not for the sake of lust or infatuation, or even as a feat to rid yourself of loneliness--if you don't rush into marriage--then you end up with a very beautiful thing. We do need to combat that misunderstanding through educating youngsters on the real reasons for waiting until marriage, and not just making it about "desirability" through "status" and often times, the "male satisfaction". Teaching girls this, while forcing a contrasting narrative on boys that places their value in their "sexual achievements", is disturbingly wrong. I think religion is finally being displayed for what it is: spiritual order with a reason, like chicken soup for the soul. People have just taken it out of context, abused it as a means of asserting dominance and attaining power. (radical Jews, Christians, and Muslims are all guilty of this), turning people away from the idea and rebelling, understandably. But if one distorts the word of God then they are not following God and they are not a real Jew, Christian, Muslim, etc.. So they do not even deserve the title of a "religious" person. I hope everyone understands this. True religion is between the individual and God. Some people think that you don't need a legal contract to bind you to that special person, but others feel that is it is a way to say that you are choosing marriage for the sake of marriage; It is a real commitment; So in a way this concept that everyone gets married for "love" nowadays is sort of missing half the story, at least amongst the servants of God. We see marriage as a service. If we truly got married for love, we would hop into marriage with the first person who makes our hearts flutter. In a way, we can still see marriage as a matter of business. It is this concept of choosing a partner carefully and intentionally, without blinding lust or infatuation. If a person expects love to be the only thing that keeps them secure and compatible with another person for an entire lifetime, then they are in for a surprise. That is why committing to someone for the rest for your days should be regarded just as serious as a business matter. One may say it needs to be handled professionally and intellectually, not guided by pure emotion. That is not to say love an dpositive emotion is void of choosing a partner, but it is a delicate dance between love and business. I am muslim and in Islam, getting married is considered to be "completing" half of your religion, or faith. This is because marriage and living your life in harmony with someone who is meant to raise you in spirituality and help you work righteousness on this earth, is a service to God and the world. I know people from other religious groups having the same outlook. (because all of the Abrahamic religions are connected in a beautiful prophetic manner) partnership That said, I believe this outlook differentiates these extremely deliberate and planned commitments from other marriages, and the abstinence before the union is the key to asserting your intention for such a marriage, and finding someone who is looking for the same. That said though, if one chooses to engage in sexual relations before marriage, then I agree it should come later after a real relationship has developed. Sex should always be with a trusted partner; which is why I think hookup culture can be detrimental. Of course basic human respect is expected, but we often only find out that respect is lacking after the sex has taken place. Hence the stories Alana shared about the women in her life and the conclusion they came to. Unfortunately, it is a common experience. I definitely think you sound like a good person with a sound mind, and who treats others kindly. I hope you enjoyed hearing my perspective, and thank you for allowing me to share.

Marriage also isn’t honored anymore and praised. So people are okay with just having a relationship first and then sex. I agree with what you’re saying. To develop that relationship first. But that’s what people should be doing anyways. Maybe you don’t believe in God but Alana does and that’s why she saying what she’s saying

Beautiful

Please don’t regret, it’s just the way letting you get your lessons. Our journey are different. It’s glad to hear you finally realized while others has to struggle in this chaotic time.

🙌 yes! I was about to comment this too! She’s really helping many women with her vulnerability and willingness to say the truth.

100% if that is what his character had shown that early she should’ve just gone home. OxyContin wasn’t running through her veins at that moment so she had an exit window. It’s unfortunate she was emotionally hurt but it’s not just on him.

@@AlejandraElisabet yes, from experience I've learned that, when you're trusting someone with your body, you should also be careful about the red flags, even if you never want to have a relationship with them. He showed a big red flag, and she ignored that

@@Ag.mar. she most definitely did and it’s unfortunate because she didn’t deserve to be treated shitily but she also did allow him to behave that way so that is where I would’ve exited stage left.

@Leandro Aude typical sexist comment. Btw, you'd be surprised to see what ugly, poor men can get away with. It' not a matter of looks, it's a matter of what society teaches men and women that is acceptable.

100% this. A lot of people need to learn to simply respect themselves and take accountability. i hate how black & white everything is. The issue here isn't sex, its that a lot of people ignore red flags but act surprised at the outcome. her friend set expectations up for this guy, he communicated that he wasn't going to do that, and instead of either accepting that or walking away, she proceeded to meet up with him & get her feelings hurt. like he literally told her who he is was in that moment, so that's her fault imo.

"take more faith to be an atheist than a Christian" complete opposite for me. Reading the bible made me realise these stories are clearly folklore.

So you waited until you were 22 to have sex which isn't really a big deal lol. I'm sure you would have struggled to wait another 10 years ;)

@@ohuntermc9321 Everyones experience is different...😆

@thatboy301 🤡 wtf is your problem... nobody was talking about that

@thatboy301 you're so wrong lmfaooo

Yesss! 💖

I agree. It’s not the primary part of a relationship but it’s a solid chunk and it needs to be know if it can be worked on, good, or if I have to exit.

@@veronicag4593 It can be, but it often does end LOTS of marriages, you know that right?

@@veronicag4593 Yes it can get better with communication but that’s also assuming your now spouse is willing to work on it. Would definitely suck to get married to someone only to find out they only think about themselves in the bedroom and does not care to change that! 😅 But just like everything else in life, what works for some doesn’t work for others. I also do not think sex before marriage is a big deal, and that’s okay. Some people choose to wait for marriage, and that’s okay too 😊 I did see a Christian couple on RU-vid though who talked about their sex life after waiting for marriage and it was sooo hard to watch.. you could tell the guy thought sex was going to be how it is in porn and you could tell she didn’t enjoy it. But now they’re married so good luck lmao 😂

I know some couples who had sex with other people before they met, but once they became Christian and met each other they waited until they were married. They said they wrote other people off in the past early on in dating them, because the sex wasn’t good, and the sex wasn’t because they didn’t talk about sex before having it. If you don’t want to wait for marriage, usually you start dating someone and it comes to that time and you usually have sex without talking about it in detail. You do it without knowing what their boundaries are, what they like, what they hate etc. They said that once they met and decided not to have sex, they were able to be more open with each other in talking about what they liked and what they didn’t, than in any other sexual relationship. It made it incomparable to anything they ever had. Everyone makes their own choices ❤️

Human beings were designed to have sex. I think people make it so much more complicated. Once attraction is established, a couple deep, open and vulnerable conversations about sex will tell you if you’re compatible sexually. Frequency, kinks, boundaries, if they want to please you as much as you want to please them, likes dislikes, etc. You don’t have to have sex to know those things.

Now this is a true "glowup" 🙌🙏

Girl, SAME!!! I was just about to comment this same thing. Like wow... God is really still in the saving business huh😭😭😭

I have been praying too! Praise God

Me tooooo girl!!!! You go sis, you’re amazing and God loves you so much ❤️