The story of a marriage that transcends sexuality, gender and disability. Subscribe to HuffPost today: goo.gl/xW6HG Get More HuffPost Read: www.huffingtonpost.com/ Like: / huffingtonpost Follow: / huffingtonpost
I know someone who is gay and he married his best friend who knows he's gay. They are really good friends and have two kids together who also knows he's gay. It's not publicly known though, that he's gay.
@@user-hw7dz7mg5n the kids know, but what do the kids think? 🤔 (Not the being gay part, the fact that their parents aren't attracted to each other... not in _that_ way, I mean like kids see their dad going on dates with other people and the mom is at home like 🤷🏽♀️👌
@@christinecervantes3722 uh yeah you are. That's why there's such thing as menopause. Sure you could still technically have sex but it's natural to lose interest when you become less fertile
I once had the weirdest conversation with a girl who was having marriage issues and her main thing was that they felt like friends rather than husband and wife, I was gobsmacked and my reply was that that’s what it should be like in my eyes. They’ve stayed together but I couldn’t believe it!
Sydney Stroud I believe the majority marry for love at first and then fall into the trap of security and routine when the love is gone they still stay. Anyways, marriage is an outdated social construct.
Marrying someone that asks you questions like: "Are you okay today?" "How are you feeling?" "Do you feel up to doing this?" "What do you need?" etc. 😩😩
monster9392 If you marry a soulmate or Twinflame the love never fades, if you marry out of codependence which this story represents & id guess 99% of marriages then you will never experience love only codependence
Your mom is cool, the "best" advice I ever got from my mom was "don't have sex" not even wait till you're married, just don't have sex, and she wonders why all her children had such awkward transitions into adulthood! 🤦♀️
A marriage is a partnership, a friendship focused on caring for the other person, usually that will entail sex, but not always and if it makes both people in the relationship happy it’s beautiful.
Definitely! My cousin at age 27 married his girlfriend 25 but because they had sex before marriage and she got pregnant, but.....even with a coupla years going steady, it seems they really didn't know each other well, because like a brat she after 2 years trying to keep house, care for their baby boy and finish her law degree, she called it quits, asked for a divorce, he complied, 2 years later she asked my cousin if they could remarry?!! I'm not fit to judge but it seems both were immature and a bit narcissistic.
hepsabaptron00 It is a legal agreement but it should be a happy partnership. People who get married without that are getting married for the wrong reasons.
@M Ponkhi once you find the guy for you, he will become your bf. When you're young, your best friend will be the same sex as you. That's normal. But once you meet the guy you will marry, he becomes your bff. You can still have your woman bf, but it's not the same as your spouse bff. If he isn't your best friend, don't marry him. I've been married to my bff for 22 years. :-) Oh and my best friend from childhood, my o.g.bff (lol) is still my friend too, but my husband takes precedence over my friend because he is both best friend and husband. He comes first as I do for him as well.
Not Funny there are all sorts of different types of attraction. You could be a man who likes having sex with men and women but only fall in love with women, and then you’d be bisexual but hereto-romantic. We could call these people homosexual but bi-romantic (just a guess and example Idk who else they’ve been in love with)
There's a manga called Love My Life where this happens in the first chapter. Lesbian comes out to her parents and her dad tells her they're both gay and married so they could have a child (it's hard for Japanese same-sex couples to adopt).
Virg o they do what they want. They chose to stay committed to each other and realize that love and marriage is deeper than sexuality. You have two people who probably could have chose to be with same sex partners that checked every box so to speak and they could have still been unhappy because they weren’t with each other. Sometimes it happens like that. Just two people who love each other despite labels. Love only knows love.
This just hit me LIKE A FREAKING TON OF BRICKS!! I am a straight woman who met a beautiful tall, blond female Deputy 20 years past. We became friends then 2 years later she told me she was in love with me, I knew I wasn't attracted to women, but my love for her was beyond sexual. 20 years into the future, we now have a GORGEOUS HALF DANISH BOY which I carried. My Grandparents got to know her before they passed and my Grandmother said to me once, " Honey, love comes in all shapes, colors, and sizes, but one thing for sure is that Kata's love is pure dont let it get away". I'm glad I listened to her advice, I wish I had listened to it earlier though.
Sin Bin well I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or anything - I just really want to know. I have other straight women who say they had the same experience and while I can see how I could fall in love with a woman I just don’t know how one decide they will never have sex with a man every again when you like the whole Normal sex thing . Plastic is fun but I’d need a real thing experience every once in awhile ...
Laura B Negativity & truth are not the same! It’s very true that men who carry that much weight around their midsection are at a greater risk for heart disease, facts. It has nothing to do with being “ negative “
"All the money we have been saving hoping to buy a house, start a family, live a wonderful life, pursue our art... got eaten up by hospital bills." ^^ this is in my opinion the saddest thing about their story... :"(
I could not agree with you more! It is so sad to me that the richest country in the world, the poorest (most of the bottom 95%) go broke simply because they get sick. It disgusts me to no end.
I like how they redefined what it means to be married. It's more than sex and passion, it's commitment and a life long friendship. Just because marriage is an old institution doesn't mean you can't bend the rules.
she was a lesbian but she found out she's intersex. Does that mean she's a guy? Sorry but I missed out, I'm with the gay man now. sorry mom you couldn't see the person I wish I had been. I'm more than meets the eye, I don't know what I despise.
@@cuuntrisma993 i hope these questions aren't too personal but can you please answer this burning question for me? is sex between you 2 straight or something else? if you feel offended or uncomfortable in anyway no big deal but in just super duper curious
Eni Anggraini Yes, I was a gay man, when I met my wife, and she was my friend who was a girl. She got pregnant by a guy. It didn’t work out and she moved in with me temporarily, I learned to love her and guessed I was bi, and we got married. Turns out I wasn’t really bi. Years later I found out I was really a transgender woman. We’ve been together 31 happy, sexless years. Now we are both battling autoimmune disease.
Im gay. And this reminds me of my bestfriend and I. I can't see myself doing the sexual thing with him. But I can imagine spending the rest of my life with him. Doing the same thing as what they are doing. Painting, music, books, going in a cafe etc.
That's true, I had such a hard time with my sexuality because I thought I was in love with girls romantically, but I just cared alot about them. I realized that I am actually gay recently, and I want to tell my ex that I always loved her, but I had mistaken the love for a romantic love, and not a friendship love.
I had a best friend just like this, we're a perfect couple, definetly soulmates, but he's straight and it made me not understand that I was lesbian for a time, eventually he confessed to me and I got confused and tried to date him for a while but I couldn't do the romantic or sexual stuff, it was all platonic for me, I can imagine spending rest of my life with him but I cannot imagine doing any relationship-y stuff
You can love someone without being attracted to their body. It’s all about the heart/soul/and mind of a person. The physical attraction is just a bonus. The connection The friendship Everything. This is great
@@LittleRainGames Those are the ones that shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, as it seems the entire relationship was based on sexual attraction.
Most phase out sex over time? I don’t believe that to be true at all. Having a good sex life with your husband or wife that you love is wonderful and should be celebrated. It is necessary if you want to be faithful to one another. How can you be sexually faithful and committed to someone you aren’t sexually attracted to? This is nonsense.
They’re relationship is very right. But it isn’t a marriage. Not in the traditional sense. However it is a beautiful relationship that a lot of married people should envy.
Whether you're straight, gay or bi: marriage is about PARTNERSHIP not sex! Friendship is an integral part of a long lasting partnership. This video just illuminates that fact 🤷🏾♀️
@Ruth Tounkam No, the idea of marriage is. You got what I need. I got what you need. We can tolerate each other and I want you for myself. Your best friend might be somebody else's best friend, and they may not consider you their best friend in the first place.
@Ruth Tounkam You'd be surprised dear. People just don't admit it because it's mean to outright say "I married him for the help." Or "I married her because my mom wrote it in her will." There are tonnes are reasons why people get married, other than for love.
@Ruth Tounkam Then you don't understand the real world, dear. What do you want then, the Victorian definition of marriage? Parents prepare a dowry for their daughters and basically sell their girls to the man who they approve of. She is expected to love her husband, even of she has never seen his face. She must be with her husband and have sex according to his own desires, even if she ends up giving birth to 40 kids. If he divorces her, she has no say. Depending on the time period, if he abuses her, she still has no say. There! Traditional marriage. Marriage is a transaction dear. Always has been, always will be. There is benefit to being with a partner, and people decide to marry depending on what those benefits are.
I don't think they're celibate. They probably had sex. AND THEY CAN HAVE SEX. The sexual attraction just wasn't there. Sex isn't just about sexual attraction yknow. it is also an expression of love or romantic attraction.
@@callaliaevergreen1364 How can you have sex with someone if you're not sexually attracted to your partner? I'd be grossed out to have sex with someone I don't feel sexually/romantically attracted to, and being gay by definition is NOT being romantically/sexually attracted to the opposite sex.
HuffPost got this documentary right. I thought the video was going to be focused about their sexuality, but it's absolutely not about that. It's about life and love and it understands something that people in our generation doesn't quite understand -- or at least not fully, not like this. This is beautiful. Thank you.
@@memethingz6004 They literally loved each other so much they thought they were bi. They have a really deep and beautiful friendship and you're trivializing it
I'm so glad to see so many people seeing this as someone normal, instead of outlandish. Because this is what happy partnerships are made of -- you can't bank on sex forever. True happiness comes from a real connection with the person you care about.
Aisha Sosa you are right, it’s extremely possible!! You’ll find someone your soul connects with & it will make you so physically attracted to them, it’ll blow your mind! I hope you keep your positive attitude & take care! I know I’m a complete stranger Aisha, but you’re important, intelligent, unique, beautiful, wanted, needed and loved! You matter & I can’t wait to hear about your soulmate!! 😊
Kim Wolford wow i can’t believe i just saw this 4 months later! but honestly i needed to hear that at this exact moment. thank you so much kim ❤️ u have such a kind soul. i really appreciate it!! i hope ur doing well and are safe. im sending u lots of love!
When she was playing Over The Rainbow on a harp, spoke about the rainbow being the Aurora Borealis and his face came up, I started sobbing. I do get moody at 3am but this combination tugged so hard at my heartstrings that my eyes started stinging with tears.
Syaz A.B I was completely fine until that moment also! The way his face lit up as her voice was lighting up describing the ultimate ethereal light. Ah! Swoon💓💓💓
Me too, I know what she meant. That as you get older there are less things that your physical body can do. Now in our mind we can do it all, lol. But, the reality is that our physical selves will become weak, tired, exhausted, etc..😑♥️. But, I am like you I aspire to be like her. With all the joy, love, and compassion that is pouring through her.
"When all things are darkest, there is still the promise of hope." More beautiful words have I never heard. Especially now during a pandemic. Gorgeous story. Love from Oz. Be safe everyone.
Marriage is not a synonym to a sexual relationship. It’s a promise to always be there for each other. Edit: Marriage is a full on commitment, while friendship is just a connection, one that can be simply broke in seconds.
This is what genuine love looks like, marrying someone because their your best friend, and even going so far as to cut their meat for them if need be. A beautiful story from a beautiful couple of human beings.
Marriage is a Partnership to survive a World Together. Love is a Kinship the defines all odds Family is a bond thicker then time. And Sex....meh that's just a bonus.
I totally agree! and sex is not half as important as true love. But sex (making love) is another form of well... making love! :) sex creates very strong feelings and emotions and can be very important . That's why many people are so affected by it. 💖
Relationship build on sex only is called friends with benefits or sex buddies not married couple. People who base their relationship on sex only will make it last a about a year and then these people want a divorce because they got bored or sex isn't as good. Even something as intimate is without any feeling.
Honestly this is the type of love I’ve been imagining ever since I was a child: no matter your sexual orientation/gender if you find THAT person, you’ll be happy regardless if they meet some standards or not. I admire them
What I've noticed about successful marriages is that there is a priority in respect and patience over love. Romance and sex are important elements in marriage but it can't thrive on these things alone. I've seen couples who have had wild romances but get divorced after a few years because they cant cooperate during hard times or just get bored once the thrill of romance is over.
Its called HYPERBOLE. Maybe youve heard of it. Its when you use an EXAGGERATED medium to communicate a very simple point. Sincerity, a sense of being genuine, emotion, NONE of these are inherent to good people. They are not inherent to people who are CORRECT or RIGHT. They are inherent to ALL HUMAN BEINGS. Regardless of their quantitative morality, these qualities are indigenous to ALL humans. I used Hitler to show an extreme example of a SINCERE, GENUINE human being who was SINCERELY, GENUINELY WRONG.
@@thetruthchannel349 they don't deserve happiness because they're sincere, they deserve it because they're humans that, to our knowledge harmed no one.
Wow. This story is so profoundly beautiful. As someone who is newly married, I hope we can grow in this type of dedication and perseverance. It really comes down to being best friends!
Keep an open heart and mind and it will come. If you are not hang up on what society says it should be,it will happen for you in the most beautiful way.
This touched me in a really special way. I've been in love with my gay boy friend for years (I'm a lesbian). I've always wanted to marry him and spend my time just being happy in each others company. I often like to think about marrying him if we lived in a time where it was dangerous to be out of the closet and by being married no one would suspect a thing. I'm only 15 so the chances of us ever getting married are low but that doesn't change the fact I've loved him in a way that I've never loved anyone else before.
You could be biromantic! Of course I'm not pushing any labels on you, but it's possible to be romantically attracted to people of different genders while only being sexually attracted to one :)
An Unmerciful Kiwi honey your still a kid. You’re going to love a lot in your lifetime and every time it’s going to seem that’s the one , you couldn’t possibly love any stronger just get ready. Going to have a lot of heart ache as well. I’ve never believed in couples marrying young . I believe you should have fun live life to the fullest go everywhere you can and experience as much as possible before anyone settles down. That relationship usually last not the ones barley out of high school getting married and pregnant.
You've got a long road ahead of you dear. Friends come and go. The real ones stay in touch, even if distances are far. You could go separate ways only to find each other again another time -- or not, there's billions of people in this world to meet and fall in love or lust or both with. Enjoy your life, meet people and explore! Take care of yourself and listen to your intuition.
I'm surprised her parents never mentioned to her that her genitals were different bc my first concern would've been I'd my child could have kids, this is very interesting. I love their bond it's quite wholesome.
I was watching a documentary about intersex. The approach was to carry out surgery to 'normalise' the appearance of the baby. The default was female. They would tell the mother to reinforce the gender, but not to tell the child. The GP would know. Paternalistic medicine.
@@orlaoto5794 oh that's interesting I think I heard about a case like that, they decided for the child but it wasn't correct or something like that, it's probably hard for the parents but I think I would tell em
Back in the day doctors would conduct the surgery immediately after birth without the parent's knowledge but this was semi-rare. As someone else stated, it became standard that most parents knew before the surgery and were advised to keep hush hush about it because of very outdated ideas around what it means to be intersex and what gender/sex is. There's a lot of intersex activists who are fighting to get the immediate surgery banned because it requires so many follow up surgeries and invasive exams throughout the kid's entire childhood. The goals for the surgery are more concerned with aesthetic than the well being and can lead to extensive nerve damage in some cases. The infamous goal of the procedure for creating a vagina is just "can a penis fit inside" instead of preserving nerves or making the clitoris functional. There are also some conditions where people don't know that they're intersex until they have fertility problems or health issues that require certain tests. Those intersex conditions are either mostly internal anatomical differences, the presentation of the outside anatomy is very subtle, the parents couldn't afford the surgery, or at birth the doctor never checked the baby for it. So it's definitely not uncommon for intersex individuals to be in that woman's situation.
@@mousy3873 Yeah, there was a paternalistic attitude; if there wasn't a 'normal' penis than female was assigned irrespective of whether the predominant internal structures were male. The doc I watched was UK based, and surgeries would have been free with nearly all health services in Europe. Change came slowly with the pushback against the 'doctor is always right' ethos.
@@mousy3873 oh wow that's interesting....so they can look perfectly normal on the outside and have a different anatomy internally?....hope I interpreted that part right.
It does, the mtual faux marriage partnership between a gay gay and a lesbian. I think its now in countries where its taboo or criminal and in bigored religious groups mostly. But yeah, that is lakely what becomes of sucha marriage in good terms.
They are lovely people aren’t they? I have a chronic illness- Lupus. I wish my husband treated me as Dennis treats her. Mine gets mad at me for not being up and able to do things and acts like a toddler. When I’m up- he is the sweetest thing around. I was told it’s because he gets scared so he overcompensates to prove he’s a strong male. Poop on that! I totally understand the concept for wanting to be seen for yourself not just for being your disease. I hate that part of having an autoimmune disease. What a good show this is, so many lessons in it. God bless these two.
This is why it's important to marry your best friend. Your spouse has gotta be your best friend, they're your other half. That friendship is so special.
Seeing this for the first time today in October 2019, clicking on expecting another quirky feature, of course also happy about the gay content, but MY goodness it took me on an emotional trip. What a lovely couple, brimming with love for life, in their charming house -- and the words that we already know but easily forget. Oh how their relationship and insight just warms the heart and gives one hope. Bless both of you with more years than that prognosis. I pray both are well to this day.
It would have been nice for intersex visibility if that had made it into the title. Was pleasantly surprised to see another intersex person being highlighted positively.
I'm a black man that's bi my wife is intersex and everyday is just a blessing cause I found the one to truly complete me so I dig for sure what your saying.
...because they're from Pluto? Sorry, I think you're meaning to say "platonic" which comes from Plato who's philosophy included the non-sexual or purely spiritual.
This is 100% my goals. People think I'm so weird or self hating to want to marry a woman, like excuse me for not necessarily wanting to marry a sexual partner.
How many years? Just curious. My beloved and I were Wed 36 years before he passed with me in our bed quite peacefully 10 years ago. I love him every moment still and dream of him too. 💟🌠🌈💟🌠🌈💟🌠🌈
So, sorry for your loss. Read the pain in your post. Memories are Forever. He's always with you🙂 When you hear the darling nickname he gave you...you know, he's near🤗
I can totally understand no I'm not lesbian I'm straight but I did marry gay man and I loved him deeply and it was what the preachers called it pure love because it had nothing to do with sex it had to do with two people that were truly madly in love with each other's and wanted to spend their lives together.
gim zack ... he passed away no it wasn't from the any gay so-called disease or anything like that he died of cancer and I love him very much and I always will
gim zack actually I would have stayed with him forever and I guess in a sense we did Til death do us part. unlike the story we kissed all the time not like a man and a woman kisses but as far as affection we always showed affection to each other we never held back our feelings we just respected what each of us worse he was gay and I was straight. Some of my friends would say why don't you try to change him maybe he'll change why would I want to change what I love that was my feeling... oh I wish so much that we had more time but the time we did have was the best time of my life the best moments the best everything
All of my children was from a previous marriage. Our marriage was not based on sex at all but just a very deep love for one another. To some people but it's strange but to us it was just perfect. One thing I learned from our marriage is that marriage it's not a physical act but any motional act.
There were two married professors at my university who were definitely a lesbian and a gay man. He once talked about their marriage in such a way that lead me to believe they’d wanted a “normal” biological family and they wanted to be married to a good friend. So it’s what they chose. He seemed reasonably happy. I had my doubts about her. She was always grumpy.
