I waited so long thinking I needed an exit strategy. I used it as an excuse because I was afraid of being a single mom of 7. I felt betrayed and angry. Now I realize that all I needed was me, myself and God. I’m now the author of 7 books, a life coach, and building my own brand and RU-vid channel to help other ladies. Thank you Tony.
Whether a man matures or not is intentional. He must decide he’s going to be better for himself and God first then everyone else next. This is why you have older men who are grown boys because they never intentionally decided to mature and make the necessary changes. When he decides to be intentional is critical as well. Just my 2 cents and experience in raising a son for 26 yrs
Yep... Been married for 3 years the minute I saw them eyes wondering, I focused on my studies again. Don't see this man through the same eyes anymore. If a man shows you who he is, you better believe him. I've seen to many women suffering and stuck because they have no way too go...
A wise person always have a backup plan. If you do not plan ahead do not regret it later. As a woman, i would plan ahead bc you do not know what will transpire in the future.
If this is what the start of the marriage looks like. Omg, I can't imagine what a lifetime will look like. This is just tragic. And for someone so young, she seem to have it together so well. You deserve better sis! Sending peace and blessings your way. ❣
Tony's advice is on point!💯❤ She should get on birth control & use condoms but he doesn't need to know she's on birth control. I've had men put holes in condoms trying to get me pregnant without my knowledge including my ex husband & he would throw away my birth control pills so I kept a pack at home, in my purse & at work. After we got married he said he owned me & I felt he was cheating. So I decided I wasn't having kids by him & my mom told me the same confirming my decision. I got a separate bank account & waited to see how things went. His behavior worsened years later after we bought a home, I found out he cheated with multiple women even driving 4 hours round-trip to cheat. I put him out, got divorced & never looked back! I made the most money. My mom was right, so was my intuition. Lesson learned. I follow my intuition, I'll even ask God to confirm it & it's never been wrong!💯❤
True, they want to make you pregnant so you can’t l leave. Never get pregnant in the beginning of a relationship/marriage. You have you look at his actions and how he will treat you. Smart mother and lady!
I thought the same thing...she should get on birth control and use condoms, but no need for him to know! When i think back about my marriage (divorced now), this is prob just what happened...when we got marrried, neither of us was in any hurry for a child, then, out of the blue, he starts in with the "oh, you would make a great mother" bs...was prob cheating, cause right after i got pregnant, his attitude towards me took a 180
Omg....if he wasnt a faithful boyfriend he will not be a faithful husband ever...it only gets worse....for the hills I run.....theses wanna be husbands love they cake and eat it too....shame !
It is so important to have an exit strategy however with my situation I was caught off guard when he pulled the rug out from under my feet and said he was leaving. But what he didn’t know is that I had an investment payout come in that same month! Want God do it!!!🙏🏽
@@munix9351 yes with no notice.. just said he was done and he’s going back to his mama’s house! (Free rent) ..He knew I needed his portion for the bills to stay afloat.. but when the devil advocates try’s to steal and destroy.. God was already prepared for restoration!
She is INSANE to have saved 40 thousand and then combining her money with his just because they got married. He would have NEVER known abput my nest egg. Since they were just dating when he cheated I might not think much of it because how serious were the both of you? Had you both decided to be exclusive or was it just dating and hanging out?
This is spot on. I was was in a similar situation. Got married young. Dealt with the same things and more. Once I peeped he wasn’t going to change and I need to move on I started getting my ducks in a row and left when I got ready 💨 This is good solid advice, Tony.
Ok this is just me. I would with the guickness, put MY 40 grand in some kind of account with only my name on it. No explanation needed. He is a cheater. A cheater will do anything in my opinion. They only care about themselves.
Hey Blessed Tribe. Side topic... Tony, I want to commend you for listening to, and acknowledging, your wife's childbearing decision. Many men would exercise headship and talk about "submit/obey/your body is mine" and basically demand more children as if it's a simple feat. Furthermore, I salute you for not requesting her to go under the knife to ensure it. That's major. 🙌🏾
She really need to watch for an emotional affair. I’m exposing myself, but I was in an emotional affair with a married man. I had no intention on having feelings for him, but it just happened as friends. I agree and love that Tony keeps boundaries because honestly that’s that’s the only way you can be safe. I don’t see how people have the conscious to cheat. Even though his wife didn’t know I just couldn’t live with myself. She definitely needs to have an escape plan.
He's married wtf would he be texting any women😠that pisses me off!! He's disrespectful..smh..Yes she's GOOD because she's young & a RN!!! So him doing all this means they are unequally yoked! SHE HAVE TO GO!! I'm sure he's a Narc...If he change that's good. But no one can make him change.That is HIS CHOICE (FREE WILL) GOD given birth right!!! ..I hope she goes far & KNOW it's not the end of the world if they was to divorce! Like..Would you rather..Be in a marriage & Sacrifice your purpose or leave that marriage which isn't good & go for your purpose & live free in peace loving yourself?!! Regardless of what folk say..Thats NOT THEIR MARRIAGE!!!!!! ..HE'S SHOWING HER HIS SPIRIT!! When ppl show you who they are. BELIEVE IT 💕
Tony you clean today ! Come on gold chain & fancy shirt !! lol I don’t think We’ve seen you without the Hat & Black shirt👏🏽Awesome advice 📝 had my notepad ready
I wouldn't even care about telling him that I'm taking half or heck ALL of my 40,000(maybe after you have a bit of a best egg built as well w/your personal account as well, just in case he's a narc and will flip out) out of the account now to put in a personal account for my personal security seeing as how he is incapable of providing me any.. oh yea, he gone take that hit.. Shoot she already playing the stock market having her money entwined with his.. if he got a problem, he was really in it for the money and probably still cheating.. he is officially on notice. Period!
He makes more but a lot of men hitch their wagon to an RN because when the market goes down they know RNs will stay with a job especially with with the 19 running around they trying to lock one down..if that doesn’t work the stop working and leave you with all the bills
Tony this is by far the best ever for me. To hear you as a real married man tell a woman to protect herself who is married is unheard of. My Mama always taught me to do that. But I don't know a man alive who is not ready to meet you in the parking lot if they hear this! :) God bless you! Keep serving!
He's a straight up cheater.. It's a pattern cause before he cheated with that "1st" broad, he had an emotional affair with her. Now he's back to emotional affairs via texting, flirting, etc. So what she thinks is next, if it didn't already happen as Tony said !
No kisses really if that's not too harsh because he's unknown to her touching other females who are off limits, a no no!!!! He's married! That's not acceptable in dating I feel. But may Gods wisdom help her to sort out what she feels and what she knows to be true. She can feel it!!🧸
I can’t say this enough, I’m so thankful that Tony gives us the real about how men think & insight on why they act the way they do. As I work on myself & take the info that applies to us women, I’m also taking notes so I better prepare myself to have a healthy relationship with my future husband & take a different approach with my sons, so they can become healthy men & future spouses.
Exactly. I've done it! Work and crying no matter the discovery but devise a plan to move forward alone. If he cares about the marriage he'll do whatever necessary!! Too many jokers. He need to make some decisions. And, when I think a mate could be a cheater I'm turned off! That's just nasty. Who wants contamination of another's body fluids? Alone seems like it may end of being plan B. Though marriage is precious and sacred to me!! He must decide because my decision will not be reversed! Praying can be therapeutic while letting go and/or backing up to contemplate backing out😊🧸. God's grace and peace to a young woman. Hold on to Christ. Love Him more and follow His lead by the Spirit 😇.
Love the way Tony respects women and gives honest, nonjudgmental, and on point wisdom. He does not need to show boat and guards a woman's integrity. The Lord honors this and He will continue to bless, multiply and increase your life, business and family!
This is so UNSETTLING! It feels like Sis is sitting on a TIME BOMB waiting for him to cheat. Too much to worry about in addition to your daily business as usual routine. Please set up a personal account to which only you have access. You can keep the joint account for the monthly expenses.
Hi Tony I have decided to take the courses to become a relationship coach I cannot wait to start helping other women like myself that has been through hurt and pain trying to get over a man thank you for your inspiring videos and I can’t wait to become part of the team.
She needs a lawyer. She shouldn't have put her money in the joint account. It was made prior to marriage. He isn't entitled to it. She now needs to get legal council on how to get back that money. Get your money straight sis. Good luck to you.
She doesn't need a lawyer because nothing hasn't happen yet..she is worried about what if it happens. .also she should have kept that money in a separate account anyways because it wasn't marital income.
She better start “ paying her grandmother for various items, services, deeds, etc.... $2000 to granny for new rugs, $500 together granny a makeover, $5000 to help pay towards Grandma life insurance. Do that for 12 months and walk off as she DROPS THE MIC 🎙... LEAVE HIM wealthy. All that pain will resolve.
I would tell him that I intend on starting a business. Write up a fake business plan, then tell him I will be investing my 40 000 and additional funds every calendar month. Then I would take the money and place it in my personal account. If he asks to become a business partner I would explain that for legality I wouldn't want to mix our relationship with business as it may affect us and this is a project I want to work on by myself.
You said these young folks. Tony.. They need you right now before they go through years of bullsh**.. This young lady should have left. I'm a living witness. It will not be the last time he will cheat on her. She better run to the hill where her help comes from. Period. He doesn't have to know about a personal account. That's your business. Y'all stop having business together when he cheated.
Her story is really similar to mine, even our ages. And guess what? Once a cheater always a cheater and it just gets worse, I’m telling you now. Start your exit plan asap and make sure you won’t make any babies. It’s really embarrassing getting divorced so early after getting married and facing everybody - family and friends - is not easy, but your happiness is priceless and you’ll be much better off! Just run girl 🏃🏻♀️
She need to have her own account...seperate that 40k...have your own account, have another account he knows nothing about and only have a joint account only for house hold bills that you both share...
Tempation’s tough. Do you stay when ur not married, and your intuition is triggered? I’m tired of looking through phones. I think if it’s triggered, it’s time to go.
Dunno what state she’s in ... I’d smoothly pull that 40k right back out and start my own account as it’s not community property. If and when he dare ask why.... at the end of next month when he see’s the bank statements, then get ALL the passwords. That’s how that convo would start....Don’t even raise your voice. Meanwhile price out apartments....it’s like practicing for a code blue. Dry ran. You already have too much stress in healthcare to come home to that. Preserve your heart and youth. And NEVER put that 40k back.... he lost that privilege. ✌🏾 I agree with Tony 200%.
@@mymakersdaughter6041 Yesssssss if u don't learn Nothing thur Tony something's Wrong with somebody!!! I remember The first day I found his channel I couldn't Get off of it. It seemed like everything Tony Spoke about was me!!!! I have a cousin that's a motived speaker I had shared 2 of The letters with her about what Tony spoke On. She texted me back with a picture of her And Tony standing together, I didn't know she knew him she had a book signing he was there!!! He my have had a book signing Also. I'm glad I ran across his channel🤗
If he wants to be faithful they will be period! When you accept cheating they lose respect for you and I’d lose respect for them it’s over when you cheat on me you don’t respect me yourself and especially not God
If they do it in the dating phase it will get worse if they ever get married. And even more worse when they start to have children because he will feel like she’s “locked in”. It best to peep game in the beginning and to “gone bout yo business” *in Tony’s voice*
Listening to this and reading the comments makes me not want marriage, just relationships till it's good and no children with a perspective that the relationship is just temporal, I couldn't imagine living my life with a person who I know cheated on me, the resentment towards the husband would eat me out. I also can't imagine the stress of checking my husband's phone to catch him, if I felt something was off I would distance myself, it doesn't matter if it was because of cheating or other reasons, I would distance myself, look on his moves and if I would still feel uncomfortable in the relationship for couple of weeks I would leave. Figuring out a man and a relationship is just too much struggle and never ending story, not worth my mental health. I' ve recently turned 30, but up until 1 year ago I used to be hopeless romantic into soul mate/twin flame new age bullshit and kind of "pick-me girl", man pleaser, afraid of rejection but my mindset on life and relationships changed after listening to various people on youtube, psychologists and people like Tony :) so if I am not supposed to find one man for the rest of my life, I am not going to force no man into being the one either, just enjoy the life I already have. Bless you all :)
The kind of dog from the old school song, George Clinton I think? Atomic dog, Nasty dogs! No regard for the woman because he's spreading dangerous germs!! Too much out there!!!! Go where you keep company. Away from me, seriously! No sharing knowingly!!
Do men cheat on all the women that they're with?! Will they ever be faithful? This is so sad and discouraging..We should all be like Apostle Paul - SINGLE!! The thing is the Bible talks about being faithful to ONE wife, so Godly brothers have a responsibility to do what is RIGHT. God will hold EVERYONE accountable and the judgement of God is GREATER than the judgement of Man..God judges RIGHTEOUSLY not BIASLY. ALSO, if children are involved, ALL THE MORE REASON to do what is RIGHT in the eyes of GOD. People, GET IT TOGETHER. No one has the time to be dealing with fluctuating, confusing emotions D A I L Y . It's not fair for women. Especially when the woman is GODLY and wants to do everything right by God.
All I’ve been through in life, I would have put my 40,000 in a saving account solo! Yes I would have a separate account to save money on my own and ( side note) I wouldn’t have children yet I would wait being a single mother is traumatizing-❤
Hello, if you got a way out or if you can fit through or squeeze in a gate with little hole into don't go back unless he go online couching with Tony, people if listen to him on the tube like me I am waiting on my. SSI disability, I don't have money but no excuses he have multiple different show on the tube free every day and when you can take the time to listen to Tony you will not regret it because I am 56year old , all of the years of my life, didn't know I been just 🐕 out , my mother would tell me I am very mean very, easy, giving, kind heart sometimes it's hard change because I do love people, I get along with both of my ex-husband we are best friend I made that happen because my children, grandchildren not for selfish ways and thinking of myself, thanks God forTony and his wife she is war of battle for being a influence to his life they are working so hard to the people of the world in very so bad messy relationship we are in, God seen use messenger we need to be obedient to this command and if we are 18year old and grown and it is no excuses unless other through God I like to listen and thank Tony and nothing last and not even the last word for ever, stay pray up and a biblical 👍 Houston Texas,God bless America,
Love is eternal until death does you part Love is patient Love is long suffering Love doesn't throw in the towel Love makes you want to love, care, provide and be with the same person for eternity There is no giving up in love If either one is not under the law of love but operates from a different spirit then it simply is not genuine but a counterfeit
See this is all around great advice down to being prepared. In the past I operated from a scarcity and fear based mindset because I didn’t have a savings , going into any future relationship or marriage I will ALWAYS be prepared for anything financially!!!also I agree and appreciate you looking Out for our sexual health that is a very touchy subject as well like you said but most men they don’t want to strap up in this world that we live in and it is life or death
That's what I've always said about my husband and I needing each other's passwords. He has all mine, but I don't know his. I only know his mother's garage down password, so he doesn't have to take care of her or come let me in her house if I get locked out! I'm pretty sure he's been cheating since the very beginning. It's been 8 years of me being naive, and we have 5 young children! He has never admitted to any of it and has always just love bombed me and keep me busy with children. This time now I told him what I know he said out his mouth that he's about to get me pregnant again, and I'm pretty sure I am now! I feel so stupid, but I really thought it was all in my head because my ex was so abusive and a horrible cheater. I feel so low and dumb and hurt. What should I do? Will he change or will he get worse?
