Never, I repeat Never, force or convince your spouse, or anyone for that matter, to have more kids than they are comfortable with. You will either end up disappointed or alone to take care of those kids as a single parent.
@antoniac1234 exactly. I was being accused of this for a very long time. His family believed him and ain't nobody asked me nothing. Crazy part was, when my son's dad was in the service serving I took my son to see his family every week. But felt like, since he was released it was no longer my duty and he could pick him up now and do it himself. The foolish things these men say to their spouses/families is beyond me. I also made it a habit not to down my kid's father in front of them. My theory was they'll see it for themselves no need for my assistance. But we gotta be okay asking more questions to these men and stop being thirsty/fearful to ask when the men get a bit frustrated at the line of questioning.
@@julianacheriza1575 finances- combining accounts, not hiding money, budgeting..to name a few. Friends for me is what boundaries have they set and what are they like? Bad company or positive and godly friends. Bad company corrupts Good moral.....that's my point of view of these
People don’t know if they are going to hate having kids, that’s the issue. I read about all these people that given the option again, they would not have them. And that includes people who went through hell with infertility. They wanted a baby because it’s a step in life but the life they got does not live up to what they gave up. So I suggest everybody assess why they want a baby. If you want a mini-me to dress up or to pass on your dNA, that’s a poor reason.
WHY is he trifling??? I have heard a man say that men get women pregnant on purpose... this man is not doing that ... she would be ok with 5 kids and he is not emotionally or physically available???
@@clarkclarke5321 Although she didn’t say exactly what was trifling that he did, after listening to the entire video I believe she is referring to the fact that he had a “one night stand” break baby is trifling.
This is why you see some men out here that take out their anger and frustration on the innocent child. If he’s not 1000% on board with having another child, don’t do it!
The unfortunate truth is she should not have married him in the first place because they were on and off for 13 years. He was probably a grown boy anyway. Then on one of their "breaks" he went and had unprotected sex with another women and had a child. She probably only really settled for him because she put in 13 years, which is not a reason to get married.
Just finished my life coach certification and prepping my RU-vid channel. Thank you Tony for providing this opportunity, I’m so excited for this new journey❤️
I personally think that he gave her the first child so that she would get off his back but likely didn't anticipate that she would want another child. Then again, if you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone the subject of children is one of the most important discussions before marriage.
I agree. Circumstances change; health, financial situations, etc.,, but you and your spouse should be on the same page when it comes to children from the word go. People unfortunately don't seem to be having these types of dialogues and are assuming that someone is on the same page as you.
"We're not even going to talk about the one night stand baby" sneaks it in anyway (lol) we need to hear what we already know out loud.. not something we WANT to hear but definitely NEED to hear
If he paying child support, he should be able to see his son. And his wife should be trying to help him do that, instead of trying to get pregnant with a new child.
she should for sure be helping him do that however child support & visitation are unrelated things. a child isn’t a bill or service. they should see the child no matter what.
@@genj1184 u are absolutely correct! Jus like the son mother went to court to put him on child support, he should do the same thing to set up his rights to see his child. Sometimes it gets ugly and u have to do what u gotta do.
He has already told her he does not want any more children. On and off for 13 years is not a stable situation. A break up baby? One night stand? How is she sure that was only a one night stand? He even considers a vasectomy. Just maybe he doesn't want to be with her and it may not be related to having more children at all. When Tony went into the man's real thoughts it was REAL for sure.....Period!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Having children is a life long sacrifice. Much respect to Ms. Sherry Gaskins and women like her. I know motherhood is a labor of love. Peace & Blessings.🌹🙏🏽🌹
Tony and his facial expressions 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂 cracks me up! I made sure I did not get pregnant twice by my ex-husband! I wanted to another child but looking back on it that was a blessing in disguise!!
"Tuuh uhh" with his disgusted face lol! And the way the "nurse aid" snuck into the dr's room and snapped a picture of him and the way she examined the picture lol!
They are not on the same page. Regarding having another child and I don’t even know why she stayed with somebody for 13 years off and on.. He had to of known this other woman that he had a baby with. Men cut to the chase on discussions/conversations. It’s the bottom line with them.
"Listen I might not be here next year," 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Tony, Tony, Tony!!!!!!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 can't be laughing this hard when there's a serious matter at hand that is being discussed 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
My husband didn't tell me he didn't want children until we were in our 3rd year of marriage i don't think it was fair to not tell me this before we got married am i wrong
You so right Tony, children are not no joke. My parents have 5 together (two are half) all different ages, and we had to all live in the house together with one of us kids having two children of our own. It is a different kind of chaos. I don’t know how my daddy provided for all us included his wife and a dog.
I am not married yet nor dating but I am still listening to these marriage series. To know what to look for in my further marriage. But Tony Gaskins right here lol he is super funny🤣🤣
Tony is NOT lying !!! My kids dad did the SAME thing! Toxic, on/off relationship.. just a mess! In May 2012 our last son was born, and in Dec 2012 his daughter was born-from what he tried to convince me was a 1 night stand ... and In 2017 she contacted me and we sat down and she showed me their LIFE. (Which I knew he was lying) most definitely NOT a 1 night nothing! Nor did he have a ‘non relationship’ with the child! That child may have more memories than YOUR current baby does! Because he absolutely had a relationship with BOTH, baby AND baby’s mother! PERIOD. Don’t believe that mess! Best wishes to them. That’s too tough.
This was a really good video. I’m going to get married one day when my husband finds me. This is very insightful thinking of all the possible reasons why her husband doesn’t want more children. It also is great advice for us singles to make sure we ask the right questions before getting married to make sure you both want the same things in life.
My small opinion. I think she needs to find another husband that wants a kids and do it fast. Of course appropriately vetting them using the knowledge we've been given by Tony. We are the creator of our lives (what they will entail). That man is probably going to leave her but may wait, for his own selfish reasons, until after she's unable to have any more children. But she could leave now, get a better husband and have the family she desires. This is something that's going to matter greatly at the end of her life when she reflects on it. And it will also matter for the experience of her last days.
I'm so estatic that this is a topic. This is great for men and women to stay aware when in dating, how many children are wanted. With both sides, wanting children could come from a very dysfunctional area due to lack of love from growing up and not loving one self. It becomes a need to fill a hole that only God was meant to fill. Love the points Tony is making. It is 💯💯💯 truth!
Most of last 2 years I was in similar situation. I'm older mum who once thought we could have none. Napro helped us 🙌. I prayed about it and my 3 year old is a blessing and we are appreciating him and grateful when we once thought we could have none. A second child isn't right for us but I don't think he will be a lonely child (my main concern) once we make effort with cousins and friends etc. Our marriage has also flourished and there's peace in the valley again 😉🙌
Why do you feel bad for her? She's been accepting his mediocre love for 13 years and that whole time she hadn't made it her business to gather data on this man and how he feels about or what he wants out of life. I don't feel sorry for her because she should have made sure that he was the man for her before marrying him especially when he's already shown her that he isn't the best at being faithful
@@deetoopretty6099 I agree w you. Im late 2 the cookout. But woman waste 2 much time at Disney. 13 years-- come on. She doesn't know what that mans about? Cross your legs and 4get abou dating to u speak with a Specialist!
Tony is stressing the "13 year marriage," and "on and off," part 😂😂😂 and the eyes and stare, you already know what's up 😂😂😂 - trouble in paradise. Don't know if this is going to be one of those, "go on about your business," but since they are married I don't know.
It's the F's for me. Family Faith Finance, Fitness etc... I really enjoy listening to Tony. I promise that Family/kids convo is for sure month in a half conversation
Bro Tony this Talks with Tony tonight is so good.very informative am learning. And Bro Tony you're so hilarious. God bless you abundantly for your faithfulness to show up to teach us women new knowledge.
I JUST had a heated discussion with a friend about this very thing last night. He has a daughter from a previous marriage. She has a son from a previous relationship, then they had 1 son together. He told her he did want anymore kids. She did. She gets pregnant. He resents her and the baby. It hurts her. I told her I don't blame him. No he didn't get fixed, but she didn't take birth control. She did not tell him she wasn't taking birth control and after the discussion he thought she would. She was like "So it's all on me?!" I told her he SAID he didn't want another child. Why didn't you take birth control? She said "It's not 100% effective" I said neither is using nothing. I also told her it worked for me. She snaps "You don't want kids." That doesn't negate the fact that if you take birth control it works. She's countering with "You woul have your tunes removed for a man?" I said "My husband? F#@! Yea. That or an IUD incase he changes his mind. I can't fathom a man looking at me and his baby resenting us. He said he did want anymore kids." She screamed "I don't give a fucc what he wants!" There you have it. She wanted to try for a girl...had another boy. She wanted more kids, he wanted none. I call her selfish.
Sis, in essence, he doesn't WANT CHILD #3 PERIADD! He already has 2 children (that we know of). Sounds like it might be already draining him financially. 😧
That's a tough one. Don't know if she mentioned her age but if they've been off & on 13yrs she's probably in her 30's. Unfortunately, that's something women have to think about. She wasted a lot of time. He can walk away and still have children. But she has limited time. Hopefully, they can work to grow through this. But if not, at least she's been blessed with one biological son.
We knew we wanted another baby around 6 month after the first. Now after the second baby.. at 4-6 months old, we already talking about number 3. We didn’t have them back to back but by 6 months after, we knew for sure that we wanted more. Based of doctor recommendations, it’s healthy to wait 18 months for you body to fill heal before trying for another.
Not one video can be watched without tears from laughing 😂 like he’s just naturally funny asf and I can’t deal lol (it’s the facial expressions for me and the “I’m not gone say that” )
Ohhhh...I didn't want to say it but Tony did..trust me 13 years and one.i don't think he even wanted that one and here you are talking about 2..sounds like he stayed a little just because you got pregnant and he's just waiting for a right time to leave. My opinion
And YES 💯 percent the other woman wanted to give him ANOTHER baby. We already had 3, 2 girls and 1 boy. Now I have 2 girls, 2 boys. She had a girl. She also wanted to give him ANOTHER son.this video is speaking nothing but truth!
That was hard for me to hear when Tony explained what her husband was saying in manglish. I can only imagine how she felt hearing it.( Please don't block me Tony. It's not a criticism just an observation)
Sadly here I am... My husband won't help with our second baby. She's 7 weeks old. Our other is six. For 7 entire weeks I've been doing every nite feeding alone. I've asked, begged, pleaded. Nothing. He sleeps thru the nite of course, and I'm so sleep deprived bc I wake up every three hours with our baby. He is so selfish he won't even care for her for an hour while ai nap. He knows I'm exhausted, he won't do anything. He claims he has no idea how to handle a newborn, that she isn't happy with him, that she's to hot, he gets frustrated and annoyed with simply holding and feeding her. Beyond exhausted and I feel wut he is putting me thru is a deal breaker. Wut do y'all think?! He won't help me. I've tried every way to get him to help me and he just will not. I should leave rite
Just stop asking him for help, try to lean on Other means of support such as friends or family so you can get a nap, even. Neighbor. Put yourself first so you can care for you baby and leave him be, don’t ask him for not a thing and do what is best for you, don’t nag, or complain, if you can’t get things done around the house such as cleaning, or cooking then do the bare minimum and use your energy for your basic needs and the baby.
No, don't leave, as least not yet. Did he help with the first born? Is he helping more with the 7 year old more to compensate? Is he working a lot? Are you in counseling? Every marriage goes thru challenges. Hopefully you don't leave at the first sign of trouble. You made a lifetime commitment.
A lot of women also break up with men and use the babies as pawns. This may also be his fear. He already doesn’t have a relationship with one baby. He may be scared she will do the same thing.
Tony come on now 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 a baby in a diaper in the summer and staying indoors in winter no issues with clothing!!! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Tony is funny y'all; I know it's just a joke 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
6 years ago I met my to be wife, moved across the world for her and left my old life behind. We both didn't want a children at the time (reason we stayed together ) but now I want a child. I am seeing fathers across the street play catch or teach how to cut grass to their child and all I can feel is I want that. I'm finding Myself at a loss every time I want to bring this up...any advice on this would be helpful
Go have your kids, lady. If he says no, find a way if you're ok with being a single mom. Just turn that relationship back to the OFF setting. What if it turns OFF on its own after you're no longer fertile? Don't waste your time.
