"Should I Have Kids?” How to Make This Huge Decision Without Regrets 

Wondering if having a baby is right for you? Use these quick links to catch the highlights: 1:25 - Exactly how Marie knew she didn’t want biological kids of her own. 2:13 - Sound familiar? All the ways others will tell you to have kids. 3:28 - The message every. single. woman. needs to hear. 4:12 - Marie’s best advice for anyone wondering, “Should I have kids?” What’s next? Watch this playlist for more nuggets of wisdom: ru-vid.com/group/PLAxUz0wM51b-f5hvOrlDdcHlUR-d0JcfF

My thinking is I would rather regret never having had kids than having kids and regretting it. I don't want to mess with another human being like that.

As a mother of two kids I've always known I wanted, it really burns me up when women feel pressure to have children. The kindest thing you can do for yourself and the world is to be honest about what you really want, then go for it. Always remember that this is the only life you have. People have lots of advice, but no one will be around to take the consequences for you, so make your own decision.

I'm not sure if I want kids or not. I would like to have someone to whom I can teach and see grow... but at the same time, I would like to continue my life as it is; waking up at the time I want, having time to myself, enjoy quietness....

There’s nothing wrong with having kids and there’s nothing wrong with choosing NOT to have kids. I’ve never regretted deciding to live child free:)

I'm 31 no kids and very single. People are actually mad that I'm happy with my life. Lol I may have children in the future but it will be my decision and nobody can force me into that phase of life. I'm tired of people telling me that my clock is ticking.

I battle this topic in my head everyday

It's sad that men aren't asked this question, when in fact having kids is not just a women's responsibility or job - it's a combined decision/choice from both the man and woman plus an equal responsibility.

34 without kids. My mom was having kids at my age and I feel like with the economy and coronavirus...I just feel like hunkering down and focusing on art. Don’t judge me 🙃

I am a mother of two and just because I made the choice to have children, I would NEVER shame another woman for choosing to do otherwise. Being a parent takes a lot of emotional, mental, physical and financial commitment and I admire someone who knows that they are not willing to make that commitment and consciously decides not to. It's not my place to decide what is right for another person. Thank you for making this video, it resonates with me as a woman who supports other women.

When I was 32, in 1998, I left a ‘safe’ career that I had studied for etc., to become a yoga teacher. It was pretty far off the grid back then, but I knew it was a better life for me. Most people around me were unable to understand what I was doing, but I got a new circle of friends and lived my truth. 20 years on I’m moving in a new direction, and following my current truth. The people who don’t support you are speaking from their own fears. Just keep going where you know you should each day. 🙏🏻

I have children (used to not want them but changed my mind) and I would NEVER shame a woman for her decision not to have children or assume she will change her mind like I did. I don’t even bring up children at all or ask any questions of my child-free friends (which is all my friend. I don’t know any other parents.). I will say, I wish that people showed me the same respect. I have had people tell me (without me asking) that they don’t want kids because it’s wrong to bring children into this environment, economy, etc. That’s essentially telling me that my decision is wrong. It’s very hurtful. People who experience pressure to have kids assume that once you have the kids the pressure is off. But it’s only the beginning. Mothers are pressured even more after they have the kids to parent a certain way. I wish we could all just support each other. The subtle bias against mothers in my generation (I’m under 30) is pervasive. If I walk into a restaurant people roll their eyes at my 3 young kids. I’m expected to endure all kinds of advice from people who don’t have kids or even listen to their theories of how there should be a test in order to be allowed to reproduce. I know that historically child-free women have really gotten the short-end of the stick. But these days you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Once you have kids there’s not some special club of normality. In fact, it feels more isolating than ever. Let’s all support each other’s decisions, ladies! I will continue to praise any choice another woman makes about her life and her body.

I’m also 32 years old and wrestle with the decision. But here’s how I “deal” with it! I get very present and ask myself: do i want kids right now? The answer is a clear “no.” I know by the way I feel. So if and when the time is right, I’ll know. For now, I take the facts (and feeling) at hand to make my best decision possible!

THANK YOU for doing this episode! As a 30-year-old woman who has never wanted kids and is sick of everyone telling me I do (🧐), I appreciate this.

High Five girlfriend. My biological clock never ticked or tocked for me. At 40, I am happy to be child free. I was lucky enough to have amazing women in my life who weren't related to me, who mothered me and guided me and these experiences have led me to want to foster children more than anything. xx from Montreal

The story of my life! I'm 34 and happily married. I've always worked and been very independent, travelled, enjoyed every stage of my life to the fullest. I never had the desire to have kids. In my 20s I thought it was normal because I was too young. I always thought my maternal instinct would kick in eventually. Here we are 34 and kinda getting to the point were decisions must be made. My hubby doesn't worry about it, either way. As a woman I really feel the pressure to have kids. My fear is that I'll regret it if I do and if I don't. I really need to listen to my heart. Thank you Marie.

I was pressured by my mother to have kids and I never did. As the years passed some of my family members got divorced, kids had problems, financial problems and one by one they almost all ended up worse off than I did. I bought my property and paid off my mortgage, have zero debt, never got married so I've never been taken to the cleaners by way of divorce. I'm now almost 50 and I absolutely do not feel any regret for not having kids. As for my mother, after seeing how every one else ended up- she finally told me that I did the right thing and made the right decision as I avoided all the bs everyone else encountered. Just remember that life is short and children are people that you choose to bring into this world without their consent. Yet you have the responsibility of providing their food, shelter, deal with their sickness, education and every problem they create. It is not a decision that you should take lightly. You have to sacrifice your spare time, money and life in general. It lasts for the rest of your life. My attitude is that I chose to give the job of parenting to someone else. If you want that job, that responsibility, that most important act, the act of creating a person than do it. If you have found a good reason to bring this person into existence so that they can experience life and all it comes with, such as going to school, religion, politics,sickness, keeping up with paying bills, and the whole nine yards, finally having a job for 40 years, hardship, stress, anxiety, fear, worry, harassment that we all experience in one form or another and the eventual death that we all come to when we run out of time and our number comes up. Than by all means have a child, not one have at least 3 or more.

I'm 37 and always assumed I'd have kids by 30 but it just hasn't happened yet mainly because none of my relationships have been with men I'd ultimately want to have kids with. I've heard all the typical comments and they've definitely made me panic and question my life decisions. But you know what, having children shouldn't be a forced thing. It'll happen if it's meant to be and if it doesn't then I'll have a fabulous independent life regardless :)

I ADMIRE women that make these decision to not “follow the norm” and NOT have kids...I wish I would have been strong enough to make that decision.

I struggled with this issue in my late 30s. I’m 42 now, but when I was 36, I fell in love with a wonderful man. Sadly, it didn’t work out. I struggled for years thinking there was something wrong with me because I didn’t have the life my friends and family had - married with children (and a dog!). However, unlike my friends, I was always drawn to travel, introspection, freedom, spirituality and personal development. Plus, I also struggled with a lot of internal rage and resentment towards my dad for his abuse. I never felt the “urge” to want a family of my own until I met this man. However, I wasn’t being completely honest with myself - my desire to be with this guy and have this dream life of being happily married with children (or a child) was motivated by fear of limited time and fear that my choice would be taken away from me in a few years if I didn’t make this happen now. The relationship I was in was meant to end (there were other issues I was blind to). I wish more women like Marie were candid about this subject. Watching this video gives me relief and has helped me make sense of some of the internal conflict I’ve had. Also, I wish people would mind their own business instead of espousing their own fears. Thank you, Marie for being true to yourself and being such an inspiration to me and so many women.

I'd like to see myself, in 25 or 30 years, with one or two adult children who come home for dinner every once in a while and invite me to be a part of their lives. I just don't wanna spend the next 20 - 25 years helping someone become an adult, wiping their noses, being responsible for a whole other person. Being responsible for myself and my marriage feels more than enough. I'm 33. I'm still wondering what I should do.

I'm 30 with one beautiful son and im sooo done and not having anymore!! Unless you really really feel like you "need" one don't go there. I can't explain how hard it is.

“You’re gonna die alone” was what hit it hard for me. I need to get over that fear.

I'm on the same path. I've never wanted to be a mom. The amount of harrassing pressure from strangers, coworkers and family has been ridiculous. Coworkers started yelling at me when they over heard a conversation about my life choice. The choice to not be a mother was easy, handling the outside harassment and condescending attitude is irritating.

Seriously the story of my life right now lol No one thinks I know what I want for myself and try to lead with this fear of not having offspring if I choose that I don't want to. I appreciate this episode because in my ten year plan, there has never been kids in my plan.

Being a 29 year old woman here, I never once wanted children of my own, mostly due to fear of raising one without the ability to give them all the love and needs I would want to give. I found out I was adopted, after my adopted father walked out the door on my mom one night. They divorced a week later. I was seven or eight at the time, I begged them to get back together, deep down I knew it wasn't a possibility. As I grew older, I knew SO many people who either divorced, or were children of divorce, the kids usually were negatively affected; befriending people whose parents divorced gave me a way to relate to them and understand how they felt, that it happens often. There are also so many kids who are orphans or in foster care, luckily my birthmother gave me up to parents who care for me. Ironically they divorced and my father killed himself when I was 21. So, all that kindof fucked up my perception on having children. Currently, I am with my boyfriend, he has twin daughters. We also have 3 cats. I am a stepmother in a sense, and it is fulfilling to watch them become young adolescents, 13 years old. They come to me for advice sometimes, and twins are fascinating to me, very unique bond that they share. It is rewarding to know they can look up to me, and call me their second mom, I do all I can to get what they need and make sure they are happy. This is as close to having children I will ever get.

So timely! I’m 33 married and do not want kids. I am an editorial photographer, food blogger and RU-vidr. I’m so darn busy. The older I get the more certain I am. Adding kids to my life would derail my hobbies and interests and that would make me extremely unhappy and bitter which is not fair to a child. I’m not looking to add more responsibility to my life. I’m looking for more time to continue pursuing my career and traveling with my husband. Marie nailed it. My advice for Talia is to stick to your gut. You sound like you are very self aware which is great. Stick to that and do what you feel is best for your life. You can lead a very happy life without kids! 😀

I'm turning 26 and I've broke the news that I don't want goobers. Of course I get the comments about being young and changing my mind later (eff that) 🙄. Children are a personal choice and one day I took a look around at my circumstances and my goals and realized that it wasn't for me. 1. Not having a strong familial support system. It truly takes a village. 2. Wanting to travel (live in various places) and build my own company. 3. Responsibility only to myself. Largely financial. 4. I'd rather mentor kids than raise them. 5. I'm a dope auntie.

I've been struggeling with this for my entire life. I never wanted kids and everyone keeps telling me that the feeling "will come soon" and that it's just my age. One time, someone even asked me "what was wrong with me" because I chose not to have kids. I'm happy that I have amazing parents who support me no matter what, but seeing my friends get married and have children is difficult, since I don't want the same thing. Sometimes, it's even hard to relate to them because of this. Wanting to have kids should be something you have to want 100%. Seeing this episode makes me realize that not having kids is okay too. Thank you!

Marie. Thank you for sharing this! I 100% feel the same way about allowing intuition to guide my life and at 35 have never felt any sort of desire to have a baby. It is so refreshing to hear from others who feel the same way. It can be so challenging to tune out the shoulds and the coulds and the what-ifs that our Moms, culture, etc. seem to place on us, but man, the power of tuning into your body and your heart. Amen sister! Thank you :)

Turning 33 in October. Married last September and this is so timely as I feel sooo stressed out wondering why I STILL do not know if I want to have kids. Some people choose not to because they generally don't like kids but I love kids and it's just confusing why I don't have a desire to have my own. Anyone feel the same?

I'm 66 years old. I don't have any biological children, and I'm quite content with that. Always have been. As I wended my way through life, I just never hit a cross road where I felt I had to make a choice one way or another. I was fine working my way up the ladder in my career. At 33, I married. Before doing so, I asked my future husband whether he wanted to have kids, and he said definitely not. He already had three kids, and he didn't want more (been there, done that). I was only slightly disappointed (more attracted to the fantasy of it than anything else). But I never felt compelled to have kids, and his answer was enough to seal the deal. (I would never have gone ahead and married him and then tried to change his mind; I already knew that was a stupid thing to do and a lousy way to start a marriage.) My three step-kids lived out of state and just came to visit on some school holidays for a week or two, so we didn't really parent them. I'm on good terms with all three of them. We're scattered all over the country, and they've all made me a grandma (and even a great grandma), so we don't get a chance to see each other much. Their dad and I eventually divorced (all three were adults by that time), and I didn't hear much from them. Then we all gathered at his funeral and actually began to keep in closer touch after that. I don't expect them to feel a responsibility to look after me as I age. If they want to, that's great, but I never really think about that. I have a younger brother and two young nieces. I don't expect them to take care of me, either. I do have friends--some of whom are ten to fifteen years younger than I am, and they've said they want to keep an eye on me when I get older. But I'm in great health, still active professionally, and VERY independent. I enjoy my own company and am never bored or particularly lonely. Life is good. If I were to offer advice to someone wondering whether they should or should not have kids, I would say that if you don't feel a strong desire to have kids, then you probably shouldn't have them. Parenting is a full-time 24-7 stressful job even under the best of circumstances. It can't be done casually; as my ex-husband said, "Your whole life changes."

Absolutely love this, Marie. Thank you for making me feel more confident about my own decision. Whenever I wrestle with “me against the society” - I feel alive! :)

Greetings from Germany! Thank you for this amazing answers. I‘m 34 years old, happily married and childfree. Since 2 years I feel totaly stressed and like an Alien because people asking me Why I haven‘t kids...these questions were batteling me every day. Now I made up my mind that its totaly ok to be childfree and still be a normal and lovely person and woman. I also see a caoch with whom i work on this subject and after every lesson i feel more comfortable with my opinion. To every woman who feels the same way: be brave to listen to your inner voice. It‘s ok to be and act different than most women in society do🙌🏼

39, married for 10 years and still going strong. No kids by choice. :)

For me, It was quitting my big corporate big money job to be a entrepreneur and make my vision a reality. Everybody was telling me that I was irresponsable. I did it anyway but I did it wisely. I reduce massively my monthly fees. Sold my house. Went back to a tiny apartment and have a bridge job. It’s been 10 years now, and I never regret it. In fact, I love so much what I do, I say I stop working 10 years ago.

Thank you very much for this. Let me just say that as a man this is very difficult too. Because I’ve known for a while that I don’t want kids, yet people constantly say those same kind of things to me. And it’s difficult finding a girl to be with who also doesn’t want children or is at least open to the idea of not having them.

Hi Marie! Huh! Yup! This gets me in the gut so often. My grandmother basically told me that I’m not a woman if I don’t have a child. Oh and the best part, is that I don’t need a man to have one... like what the Royal F!?!?!? I’m the only one in control of my life choices. Period. The end. Thank you for this episode. Xo 😘

I’ve never been into dating. I’ve had a few short relationships, but it has definitely caused concern from my family and friends. They think there must be something wrong or that I’m secretly deeply hurt haha. I just have things I’m working on in my life and I don’t want to date for the sake of dating (it takes a lot of time, energy, and work imo). I figure when I want to be with someone I’ll know and then I’ll put time and energy into it. Until then, I’m focused on my goals and myself 🙌

Amen! I knew I wasn’t going to have kids by my late 20’s. As a survivor of childhood sexual and emotional abuse I had a lot of healing to do and I knew I did not want to pass on this abuse on. I wanted it to end with me.

I think visualization is so important. When i see my life down the road i see myself surrounded by 6 kids. Lots of them. I see myself being a stay at home mom and wife and making my children my priority. I realize now that I don't want to be the career driven woman that I've told myself i have to be. I want to be a mom and raise my babies to be the best, happiest versions of themselves.

Thank you Marie for your never ending wisdom!!!! It is like a genuine friend that tells you “it is ok what you doing, just be yourself “, and comforts you. I don’t want to have kids and also want to pursue a different career that is viewed as not wise choices. But I also noticed, that if I ask for people ‘s opinions, start writing never endings lists of pluses and minuses, it all just messes with my intuition and I end up making wrong decisions. Thank you for encouraging us to listen to our inner voice!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Beautiful message Marie! Thank you for sharing your personal truths ❤️ As a 31-year-old entrepreneur I struggle with the same questions. Love you! xx

Thank you so much for sharing this. Everybody has to find their own way to happiness and no one can decide for anyone else what happiness should look like.

I so appreciated this video. I knew early on that I did not want to have kids either. Your video made me chuckle as I've heard all of those comments and questions about my decision! Thank you for reminding us that we're the experts of our own lives. I'm just happy that I don't receive a lot of pressure from my family. The most loving thing we can do is be supportive without adding our own judgements or thoughts to people's decisions. Thanks so much, Marie!

I relate so much to this. I've known since I was little that kids weren't for me. My mind has never changed, despite so many people telling me it would. I respect this video and Marie so much for spreading this message! And LOL the song and the clips cracked me up! :)

When people pressure me to have a kid, I always ask them how much money they plan on contributing to the child's care and when they plan on babysitting so I can get some time for myself. Oh, they aren't planning on those things? Well then they can shut right up. Remember if you have a kid, the kid is your responsibility and at the end of the day everyone can walk away from you and you will have to raise that child by yourself. I am split on having kids. I like kids but the level of responsibility it entails scares me. I do think I would get support from my family but another thing that scares me is waiting so long that when I do decide to have a kid, my parents are then too old to help me with the child and need care themselves.

Thank you again Marie. 39 years old, no kids, and I totally relate to the way you answerd that question: « The question was never in my plans...I go after what I want and I get it ! ». I 100% agree with you, If you really want something truely (except If health problems of course) you get It. At one point I was honnest with myself : this is not a question because this is not my goal/intérêts/future...I have so many more things project I am/was excites about! 😘😘❤️

Great episode! We (my husband & I ) decided not to have kids. We love children but having kids just wasn't for us. I think more people need to stop & think about it before they have kids, "just because."

Thank you for sharing this Marie. I’m on board with you. I have been sharing my views ever since I was 5 years old. I’ve always told my family and friends I didn’t want them and 20 years later I know WHY I dont want them. Every woman should speak her voice with truth and respect, no matter who says we can’t.

Thank you so much for making this episode, and having fun with such a heavy topic. Thanks for encouraging women to be brave!

Kids are responsibility. It's a huge task. Sacrifices and great patience are prerequisites. With world becoming increasingly bad, . If the parents can't find time on daily basis through a very long time say till around they graduate, it's no then.

This video made me cry I am also 3 2 and child free and I feel just like you this video was so kind and compassionate thank you I adored this it’s given me a lot of peace god bless xxx

THANK YOU for posting this. As a 41 year old woman who does not want kids, I get the business from so many different people. I'm secure in my own decision, yet it's nice to have this type of support available.

Preeeach!!! It’s crazy how much I get asked this question since from the age of 23 to 27 I am so tired of having to explain myself.

Omg...I love this topic! I too have never wrestled with my decision not to have kids. I am 45 now & have zero regrets about my decision. I used to feel shame sometimes about my life choices but NOT ANYMORE! I enjoy having my life be mine & not revolved around children. I've also heard all those same things to about not having them. Someone even went so far as saying I was selfish ...lol! That made me seriously laugh! Because that "selfishness" saved a child from possibly living & growing up in a horrible environment. Which I see over & over in this world.

I’m 35, childless and LOVIN IT!

Superbly well said. Thank you Marie. This was the most important messages we ALL needed to hear. Thank you all you do.

I'm 32 and childfree..still in the 'would I regret' phase..so guess this video was exactly for me!

Terrific topic! I've known since I was a child myself that I didn't want kids & managed to stick to that decision although the social pressure has been intense at times. I spent most of my 20s being patronized & told "oh, you'll feel differently when you're older" & was forced to go on the pill, with all its health risks, because no doctor would take me seriously enough to make it permanent. I also didn't marry a man I loved at the time because he wanted children & while he assured me he was OK with my decision, I knew it wouldn't be fair on him & that it would probably become a problem after a while. He's has 3 kids & is a wonderful dad, so my decision, while painful, was the right one for us both. I was lucky in a way to never have a single doubt -- nor a single regret (my partner for the past 24 years has 2 grown kids, so it's never been an issue with us). There are a lot of people in this world all too ready to tell women what to do with their lives; thank goodness we still have the power to make that decision ourselves. Let's all make sure that power of choice isn't taken away from us!

Marie, you always bring up the best type of questions and advice, thank you so much for this episode especially!

Omg! Thank you! I know deep down that not having kids is right for me! Thank you!

i have not had children and often feel alone in this tribe of women who choose not to be mothers. Thank you for sharing this !

Very inspirational video! I have struggled with this decision since I was 30. Now I am 36 and society still makes me feel bad about being childfree; especially that I am married 😊 thanks for your insights!

This is so helpful!! Each time I ask myself the question I can come back to this video and see if I’m ready. This time it was a “no”, I’m not ready!

THANK YOU for this video! Personally, I've known since I was 18 that I did not want kids. However, people seem to think that is what I SHOULD want and desire (especially since I work as an educator). I have no plans to change my mind . . . I plan to live MY truth!

I'm 33 years old and marrying the love of my life in June 2019. I am still undecided of I want kids or not. I really just do not know.

Brilliant subject choice! I’m 38 and have always known somehow that I don’t want to have children. I’ve also had to contend with ALL the helpful comments that people, sometimes strangers, like to give me 😂 The latest one is people indicating that I’m running out of time - for what? 🤷🏻‍♀️ is my usual response! I’m also not married but have been with my partner for 16 years. People like to share their opinions on that too! 😂

Oh my gosh AMEN! We need to stop telling women what to do with their bodies. Brilliant. And for all the years that I have followed you, I have always wondered about your decision not to have kids! Thanks so much for sharing xx

As a 43 year old singe male, I feel a similar kind of pressure. I feel totally content being single following my own path in life. But I sometimes doubt my choices as I’m constantly reminded that being in a relationship and having kids is the only path to genuine happiness in life. We live in a society where it’s not socially acceptable to be single and not want children. I feel like a social outcast and failure because I’d rather follow my own path in life.

I am 39 and single without kids. And people are constantly asking me (moreso strangers than people I know) if I want kids. I know it's part of natural conversation when getting to know people--I'm fine with that. But when I answer no, I'm not married and no I don't have kids, people need to move on to another topic. Yes I've always wanted to be a mother but the fact is at the moment, I'm not and probably won't have any. And that is okay!

YES GIRL!!!! I feel you on this!!!!!! I feel EXACTLY the same! Sooo fed up with people telling me what to do with my body!! Xxxxxxx

I'm 36 and have been struggling with this ever looming baby decision for years. My husband also isn't sure he wants a kid. He's 45 and sometimes feels he won't have the energy for a kid. I grew up believing that one day I would have kids cause it's what people do when they're married and grown. The problem is we've become very comfortable with the way our life is and not sure we want it to change. Plus, there is still things we want to do. I always thought that childlessness was an unfortunate fate couples went through, but didn't know until it was time for us to make our decision that it was also a viable option. I do look at my life 10, 20 yrs from now and wonder what each scenario might be like. I feel scared of being alone as an old woman one day with no one around and yet I could have a kid and still be alone when I'm old. I feel as though their is limiting beliefs on both sides of the spectrum. Not having kids won't necessarily condemn you to a life of loneliness and having kids won't necessarily ensure a life of constant comfort and belonging. I feel alot of pressure to make this decision soon because I am 36 and still don't know what I truly want. I don't really have a career but I do have dreams to start my own business. My husband and I both have goals and dreams we want to achieve but feel alot like it has to be one or the other. Especially with the ages we're at, it just feels like there's not enough time for both. Kids and chasing dreams. And maybe that's a limiting belief as well but, I feel there is a lot of grey areas when it comes to this decision.

Refreshing, thank you Marie. I had the same comments thrown at me (+ comments stating that I was an egoist for not wanting kids), starting at the end of my twenties. Why, oh why do other people think they are entitled to have a claim on me entering motherhood or not ?

Uh, did you post this for me? I’m 32 and I’m going through the same exact thing right now.

This is so important for women. One of the best episodes, ever. Thank you.

WOHOOOOO!!!! "I'm the expert of my own life" - I love it!

I needed to hear this today. Thank you🙏

I am so glad Talea asked and you answered this Marie and thank you as always for your candor. I still feel unsettled with not really wanting kids. I’m 38 and have never really wanted them. If I got pregnant I would keep it and probably be excited but the thought of having kids also makes me feel like life as I know it or will know it is over and perhaps I am selfish but that is terrifying.

Great advice Marie! Having children is not only a big, but personal decision that people feel all too comfortable in telling a woman what she should do with her own life and body. Blows my mind.

I really needed to hear this. Excellent video. Thanks!

I am 20 and have been gradually realizing I don't want kids. If anything, I want to adopt or foster in my 40's or 50's. I am a Christian and I have so much else I feel called to - the medical field, the mission field, grad school... I wouldn't want my kids to be loved/poured into less because of those things, nor would I want to give them up and resent my kids for that. The heartbreaking thing is I may have to end a happy relationship over this. My boyfriend very much wants to be a dad.

I go back and forth with this- I have always been nurturing and I love caring for and loving people, I always thought I’d want kids and to go through the journeys of motherhood...but I also don’t know if I could. I don’t have the mental ability to take care of myself, let alone raise a whole other human. The stress, the mental struggles, the depression, the pain and issues you get from pregnancy and having to be up and down for years before you can get sleep again. I can’t handle much and I go back and forth with the question “can I make it?”

FINALLY! Heard Tom Bilyeu drop a similar answer, but this is the first female (public) explanation why no kids. There is lots of pressure typically from parents to get hitched and have seen too many marry the wrong spouse. I'm wayyy too early in my career to add children, and truthfully, at family parties where there are 20 grandkids romping around, kinda solidifies that decision - as adorable as they are, can only spend 30 minutes at a time with them

I want kids, at least six. I’ve know this since I was five years old and nothing’s ever gonna change that. I want to know what it’s like to give birth or adopt, to wake up to them crying every night, the terrible two’s, going off to kindergarten and developing their own brain, the teenage years where they’ll go, “I hate you, Mom!” as they slam the door in my face, the heartbreak I’ll feel when they get their first SO, graduate, go off to college, being stuck in an empty home until I die in my nice rocking chair. That’s all I imagine myself in the future, to raise as many children as possible with my husband in our suburban home.

Thank you so much for this. Yes, I really wrestled with this same issue - starting in my early 30s. I LOVE children, and without thinking much about it always assumed I'd have some, but when the time came I realised I didn't really want to be a parent. And boy, the judgements! All the time, from everywhere (person in shop, taxi driver, etc). Interestingly enough, I found a lot of mothers (not all, but most) understood and supported my decision - they knew exactly how tough mothering can be, and that it's not for everyone. But the fathers! Many of my male colleagues (and a few female colleagues) have laid all manner of trips on me, including: - but you would be a great mother and our planet needs people like you to help the gene pool (yes, seriously); - but being a parent is is the best thing ever, you have no idea ! (said by men who regularly leave home for work for 4-5 weeks at a time - common in my industry - while their wives take care of everything, sometimes struggling with depression: go figure); - but what meaning is there to your life without kids? - you'll never know love until you have kids; - etc etc When life's going well it's easy to be immune to this pressure, but when things are tough, when the career is stalling etc, it's hard not to take it on. It's helped so much hearing and reading what other women without children say on the matter. For example, I read something Elizabeth Gilbert wrote where she said that in all cultures across the world about 11-13% of women in a society will never have kids. It's like a universal ratio. And I believe this is because our "mothering" energy is needed by the culture in other ways - for creativity, for "broad" nurturing, for spiritual enquiry and teaching, etc. (Not that these things can't be done if you're a mother, but many of us can only focus on one thing!) Am now 49 and know I made the right choice for me. Also enjoy great relationships with some wonderful kids, including my sister's kids. Marie says it best: look inside yourself and listen to your inner voice. It knows.

I LOVE THiS! I am a mother and no regrets... but my daughter doesn’t and (@29) she has no interest. She says she thinks she is too selfish. I would love to be a grandmother to her children. I’d love another ‘Her’ to love but it IS her choice and decision and I respect it! Good for you Marie and Thalia, Marie gave the best advice. Picture your life in 20-30 years 😊. Best wishes to you.

This is so to true to be a mom its something you want to be I honestly i dont see myself as a mom i see myself as a married woman but not a mom

really good message :) It is always good to decide this by intuition [not by emotion :) ] thank you Marie :) :)

Thank you for your personal experience and for being so neutral about others decisions. I’ve not wanted kids since I was a young teen and now all of a sudden I have that innate urge to. My partner of almost 9 years is excited but I kinda hate that I feel this way! Don’t know what we will end up doing for sure but it’s looking like we are going to start trying. Best of luck to everyone else having trouble and unsure of what to do! 😅

I have two grown kids and love them very much. But if I was given a life do over I would and could not go through the emotional, time and financial sacrifice that raising kids involves again. No matter how well prepared you think you are for raising kids, you're not.

Wowww this video is so me 😂 I just got married and I have step children, but I don’t want children of my own. I’ve been getting pressured and it’s really aggravating! Thank you for helping me feel more solid on my choice.

I wish I were more decided. I’m too young at this time and not financially ready and I will not commit unless I am 110% sure regardless, but I just hope at some point I have a solid decision. I want to be confident in my decision. I don’t want to be on the fence until it’s not an option any more, I just want to make a decision and be satisfied with it.

Wonderful. Thank you, Marie.

“You can sit down now”. Lol, love it

Great advise!!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I am 33. I used to feel I don’t want to have kids but when I imagine me in old age, I realize I actually want kids or at least I find the idea warm and sweet. So I decided I’m gonna try to have my biological kids and if it doesn’t work out I’ll be ok that I’ve tried. :) Yes all the time people asked me why I’m not married and why I don’t get serious about starting a family. And it’s really not their life to worry about!

Amazing video! Thank you so much!!

My internal turmoil on the subject stems from just not knowing if I’ll regret it! Sometimes I can’t imagine a life without kids, the next I am repulsed by the idea. I’m normally indecisive, but this is on a whole different scale!

I’m 32 as well married for 7 years. I do see myself as a mom in the future but It was my choice to hold on to the decision of stepping onto motherhood till now and hubby is cool with it too. But, Im kind of fed of people assuming that I have a medical problem given that I’m Asian. It’s so abnormal to women that I made the choice to not have kids for now. I always get told off for it or hear stuff like “your clock is ticking”. Someone or the other always has that awww I feel so sorry for you look when they hear that I have no kid. It really gets under my skin.

I love this topic and the responses are amazing too 👍🏼🕊