Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The "Friend Zone") 

I totally agree with you. Befriending with your ex is just dumb.

Your girlfriend is probably the luckiest girl on earth since you know a lot about relationship. Thanks a lot for all the advice :)

Being friends with your ex doesn't work.

What Brad is saying is absolutely true. That's what happened to me when I tried to stay friends with my ex after 7 months passed of being apart ( he was dating someone else when I wanted to get back ) so making them miss you is the key.

I love this channel just because he actually cares! There's so many times i've seen a comment with his reply just below it. You're a wonderful man Brad!

God bless the girl who told me to search your videos

You said everything I needed to hear.

I took this advice and stopped being friends with my ex. I’m the kind of person who tries to make things a bright story but I’m so happy I didn’t stay friends with him :) I’m happier now than when I was in a relationship even.

This situation is actually happening to me right now,,

Thank you for this video. I suggested friendship, after he broke up and he accepted it. I then offered to go to the movies together, he refused by being busy. I am now in no contact period. And it makes sense, really. Why would we place ourselves so low as to plead with someone to be with us. It shows lack of self-respect. I offered to meet, he refused, and that's all I can do. The ball is in his side of the court.

Hello can you help me!! My mom left my dad one month ago because she don't love my dad any longer. My dad has done no contact because he loves her and want her to come back. My mom want dad in the friend zone and she is texting and calling my father every day to see what he doing and she gets angry when his not response and texting angry and coming to our house. What can my father do?? he wants my mom to move back but my mom will not! He loves her very very much please help!!

My first experience had a boyfriend who broke up with me, on August 8, 2020, because of his pleading and using his aunt’s demise as a bribe trick me into this friend zone, and I still feel trap by it. I was forced to be a friend and I want to get out of this friend zone, his ex-girlfriend Anna ( the girl before he met me) used these video tactics on him and frankly hurt him badly. she did the right thing and for me will do that on him.

My now ex-girlfriend and I broke up earlier today. She’s the one who ended the relationship, and she got more emotional than I did. But before we started dating, we were really close friends ever since we were kids. I mean, I’m not gonna go into extreme details, but as friends, we were both always there for each other during our some of our hardest times when we were younger, we always talked out our problems with one another, etc. And hell, that was just us as friends; we were just very close and supportive of each other like that. But her and I really don’t want to throw all of that away😓. Is it still a bad idea to stay friends with her?

Brad, I have a complicated one. my ex and I were together all throughout high school. we talked about marriage, kids, a life together. I recently moved a state over due to a nasty divorce between my mother and father. she promised she'd come and visit since I was so far away. she worked and I made music for a living. In her free time, she started to not respond to my messages for days and always hung with her friends and never wanted to spend any time with me so I ended it. she didn't even really care and started throwing tons of things in my face like not being there for her when I always was and was one of the only ones there. she recently started smoking weed and drinking alcohol with her coworkers and has become an entirely different person. she used to be down to earth and loved talking to me and spending time together when we could. Now, the only time she messages me is when I message her first. I miss her so much and love her more than anything. she tells me she "Loves me in a romantic way but never wants to date me again" but she wants to be friends. what do I do? I'm very confused and need some advice. any reply would be appreciated. thanks.

What you're saying is so true. Great video thanks.

They can't feel what you're feeling if they're a sociopath.

so .... i have a question how are they going to miss you if they tried to find someone else ... like if she has company and comfort how are they going to miss you?

Me and my ex did no contact for a month. Its been 4 months since we broke up. The first two months I was not aware of the no contact rule. I begged to get back together and she wanted to but wasn't 100% sure. We sort of faded away and certain things happened (Met new people). We were both furious at each other, so i Insisted on no contact for awhile. We have broke the no contact after 1 month and she said she does not want to make things work right now. But she doesn't want to have me out of her life completely. Being friends feels like it will build more attraction then not talking at all, because If there Is no contact between us, I know for a fact that she will forget and move on.We aren't like most couples, we were insanely close. I've checked out a lot of your videos, but it seems like no contact did no good for me and my relationship with her, so being friends seems like my only other option. I told her we should start fresh and put the past behind us and focus on the future and happiness.

I wasn't friends with my ex for a well but it seem like she got over me so I said let's be friends and we're friends but she does the same things we use to do when we were dating

Be only friend with an ex if both of you have no romantic feelings for each other. Be 110% sure no romantic feelings exist at all. Then you can be friends. But if some of you or both have romantic feelings, don't be friends. The goal about not be friend with an ex, is not about get your ex back. It's about get yourself back. But if you really want your ex back don't be friend. Do you really want your ex talking about their new partner and they will be hang out together this weekend? No you don't. It will hurt like hell.

Hi Brad... this really a learning for me.. thank You.

Hey Brad, so my and my girlfriend ended on a bad note a few days ago and she had a negative view of me as a insecure and jealous guy. I just landed a job as a therapist and my confidence is riding super high. I asked her if she was already dating someone new and she replied "This is the kind of behavior that separated us apart" and I told her "I'm not asking out of insecurity, right now I'm riding very very high on life and I just landed my job as a therapist". She said "I am happy for you and you are in a great place. good luck to you and take care". I said "Hope all is well for you and the boys. We don't have to end this on a bad note. We're both good people. We can always be friends.". She replied "Yes, friends would be wonderful". Then I reminded her that disneyland is having the pixar fest this friday and if she wanted to go together and just chill. She replied "Sorry, but I'm not ready to hang out as friends. The break up is still new and I need time to heal." I replied "You know somewhere down the line if you're willing to give it a second try, I'm always open to it. Have a great day at work!".. Usually before when we broke up and I said something about giving a second try.. she would say "no thank you", but this time she didn't respond to that one and said "Thank you!" which is over course a reply to "have a great day at work!" I'm wondering if being able to go out with her as "friends" which she knows I'm not trying to.. since we ended as me being very negative and lack of confidence.. she didn't ask to be friends. So if we were to go out one day and I showed the super fun confidence when we went on our first date (we were friends before we dated). What do you think? Is that a good sign that she didn't shoot down that offer of giving a second try? and I am also starting my no contact rule starting today since I ended my text showing a very happy side of me.

You're sooo for real my brother!!!! Lol

I was only friends with her for 3 days. I couldn't do it because I wanted us back together. So I sent her a heartfelt message that I'm letting go. Though I didn't want to, it was only way we can move forward with growth. Do I wish I can still see her like I used to? You're damn right. She was a damn fine woman, but her insecurities and jealousy just pushed me away so bad. It's about to be a month since I last talked with her.

Hi Brad, I am a gay man. Me and my bf broke up a month ago but he has been contacting me for a while. We play volleyball in the same sports complex and one evening he just came all of a sudden and gave me a hug surprisingly to which I gave a very cold reaction because I was shocked. He wanted to catch up on dinner but he canceled it because of my cold reaction on volleyball court. I somehow met him for coffee and apologized for my cold behavior but I also told him that I cannot be "just friends" with him because it's hurtful. He was crying a lot and said that he wants me in his life but I told him that I won't stay as just friends. Me and my bf are taking this week to think whether we want to be with each other or not and will be meeting on Saturday for dinner to express our decisions. If he says no, I will stop all contact with him. Do you have any suggestions for me?

Hey Brad, my ex and I just "broke up" a few days ago and after a day or two, we started talking to each other in a fun and happy manner similar to that of when her and I were together. She made a sort of joking question to be friends and I responded in a pretty unusual way. I told her that I have already made plans to help myself and become better, that being said, I think we can be friends under the impression that I do very much want you back, but we can be friends until we see that have worked on those things. I have asked her if my proposal is clear and she does completely understand that I want her back. According to her best friend (who is also my friend too) she said that my ex still loves me, it's just that she started to feel like it wasn't as strong as it used to be. She also told me that she wanted to be friends for now because she didn't want to hurt me anymore and make the relationship too one-sided. To my surprise, the past few days after becoming friends has brought out the nice and sweet side of her again and one thing I noticed is that she has a sparkle in her eye again when we look at each other (in the end of the relationship, she would hardly ever look me in the eye) and I notice her looking at me more often when we're together. She makes kind of a joking reference to things like "we can't do those things, we're 'friends' remember?" I feel that there is 90% sarcasm and maybe 10% seriousness to it. I don't really know what it going on, but could this be a good thing or a bad thing that me and my ex are going through?

I just wanted to say thank you. Your videos and program helped me a lot !

This is my current situation. He asked me, can u plz be a friend, and I want to restart our relationship. But now now my complete romance and attraction gone away. I feel be friends. I still love ur look, character every thing. But i don't feel u as my partner.(.like thiz.and he was sad and painful at that time.) There is no other relationships for him.. Plz help me i love him alot😪

Hey, brad! just wanted to say I love your videos but i need your input on something so please do reply. I did no contact with my ex for about a month and after a month he called me saying oh we should start to text again and talk on the phone etc etc. btw this is long distance. I live in NY and he lives in florida and we have hungout a handul of times. i played it cool and didnt show too much interest and he didnt hit me up for a whole week and then he texted me saying how he doesnt want to be in a relatioship right now but i am the girl he wants to marry. Then didnt talk to me for a week and he calls me in a very rude tone of voice saying how he wants to be just friends and wants nothing from me other than friendship. i acted a little emotional because i was hurt and he still flat out said i want to be just friends and thats all. too play it cool i texted back saying ok yeah ur right we can be just friends, so whats up? and that came off of desperate because its like ok ill be whatever of yours just talk to me and he never texted me back and since that day we havent spoke at all and its been about 5 days. please reply and tell me what to do brad. Please and thank you so much!

Absolutely not!!! When my ex sent me a breakup text he immediately asked me to be his friend. I told him we cannot be friends now that it's over. He became irate and told me me he was blocking my me and to do the same. I replied "Block executed!." Not only did I block him, I called my mobile phone carrier and had him placed on no outbound/inbound text list. NEXT!!

So should I ask my ex now immediately after she broke up with me, to be friends or should I wait, like end of no contact-phase?

This is so simples if both parties don’t want to be in a relationship it is possible to be friends 😊

hey brad I see my ex every Friday and sunday for church activities how does that work

Never be friends with your ex or give them your non sexual attention!

the breakups made her really depressed and reckless so i was thinking that staying would help her come back to me.. i thought staying would have her keep venting her emotions to me and we'd still be talking and then she'll start finding safety with me and then choose to get back with me

Not good to be friends with an ex. Big No No!

Brad, I don't talk or contact my ex at all anymore, but she still follows me on Instagram and Snapchat and see's the stuff I upload (which is usually me having a good time with friends and some girls). Does this count as "disappearing"? Should I block them from these things so they don't see what I upload and totally disappear, or is this even better?

It's not the friend zone if you've already been a couple before.

this one happened to me and ot doesn't help at all it makes things miserable

Great video Brad, makes sense. I recently reconnected with my ex girlfriend since October 2020. We've known each other for like 12 years since 2009. I helped her out financially and she paid me back abit. We agreed to be friends. But I still like her and have feelings. Once I got news that she had a boyfriend the whole time and I thought that I might have a chance to rekindle, I was wrong. I Confronted her. Long story short, I did everything for that girl. And if she can't give me what I want, better I fade away slowly and not do anymore favors for her. She wants to remain friends with me. I took it again but I know in my mind I want more. No ultimatum here, me and her booth feel down because I spent way more time with her then her boyfriend these past 5 months. I didnt have sex with her because of covid 19. And I'm waiting on my vaccine first. Should I keep her around still, go cold turkey and not eliminate her completely yet and back of to have another chance with her?? The long history is what keeps this alive?

smart guy

My ex and I broke up just over a week ago after dating for just over 5 months and being friends since before then. She told me why and after a few days of zero contact and told her I was making an effort to change and asked if we could fix/start over with our relationship. She said no but wants to stay friends and said we can call/text each other whenever. We aren't on bad terms whatsoever. I still love her very much so I accepted which I now know could've been a problem. She contacted me first and did so a few times throughout the week. She did things like ask to borrow a movie from me, told me about something going on outside my dorm (we're in college), a snapchat of a song that came on that read "thought of you," asked to borrow a phone charger and we hung out for a bit the other day which was weird to say the least. I don't know what to do, and while I've been told the best move is to ignore her, she and I have class together twice a week so seeing her is inevitable. Again I still really love her and I'd do anything to get back with her, especially now that the semester is ending. What do I do?! I really need some help

Brad, dating this guy 5months in Riyadh,he went to meet my family to make our relationship official to my parents while on vacation but when i was back discovered he was with another while im away...i left did not freakout..eventually they broke up after a month..now my Ex occasionally hitting me up but ignoring him..now he stopped contacting me...i believe i love him and want him back but reluctant to make my 1st step...what should i do?

Hi Brad, how do I apply 30 days no contact if we are coworkers, and have to see each other everyday and talk? I am now only talk about the projects we are working on.

Hi brad first I already said yes for become friends but after I text this to her and cut off contact to her ..Hi , I'm sorry .Actually I was thinking . Being friends is not good at all . I was happy being in a romantic relationship with u . If that wasn't working out then It's probably a better idea spend some time apart . I wish you all the best..take care .please tell me is I did right ??

This so true I tried the friend thing at work and no 👎 bad idea so we just went cold turkey 🦃 now it’s as if we dont now each other 😔and we both said being friends not best idea so here we are 3 months broken up and no hope of giving it another try ... slowly moving on I feel it’s getting better I no longer cry 😭 and I think of him lesss

I tried no contact rule for 30 days then I tried to talk . But I get emotional any express my love . He just want to be friends. Because his ex girlfriend also want him back . She is nice girl. He don't want to hurt both of us . He want both of us as friends. But I miss him 🥺.

Can ALL this apply towards a Long, truly invested relationship? I'm 2 and a half years out of a Almost 12 year relationship - birthdays, family deaths, anniversaries.. You name it. We talk on occasion, have even had some "Encounters" to get a quick fix in the intimacy department, have talked to one another About our current or new relationships and even share memes on occasion too. I was the one who ended the relationship due to a family death that hit me too hard and i was doing stupid, stupid things - I never felt like i could redeem myself and i was tired of her being hurt for so many years even After i was working towards making peace with my past. Now, almost 3 years later, i can't simply Move on, go cold turkey or think about my life in the future without her, not something i can shrug at after All that time was spent with her and move on to better things.. May be in denial or just stubborn here. It's such a complicated thing. She's with someone and I'm Happy for her, really.. But i find myself comparing myself to the new guy or wondering what he's got, ect. One thing i Did do was have that "One last talk" with her in person. I let somethings come out that was heard as a ultimatum now looking back But wasn't my intention, we talked about the uncertain future in regards to the both of us and it eventually boiled down to her needing to give this new guy a shot. So with tears in my eyes, i gave her a hug and we both went our own ways. Fast forward, I'm holding on to this.. Somewhat unrealistic idea that we'll get back together eventually.. But it's hurting me constantly. God, where's Steve from the Jerry Springer show to come haul me away? Haha!

Brad, in principal this is great. But situations are different.

Thank you very much!!!! Your work is amazing. I wish you the best in life !!!! Your words have a good effect on me, they give me more strength,thank you again!!!!

The way you get your ex back is simply by working on yourself and becoming the best version of yourself. Once you become high value she will want you back and even if she doesn’t want you back, there will be plenty of girls that may be even hotter then her that want you

I struggle to find any one video that involves no contact that applies to my situation;1) He started leaving me in July and came back over the summer for 3 weeks (separate occasions) and we were sleeping together over 2 months, he was saying he loved me and wanted to come home.2) We have 3 kids together. So he comes over every morning for the school run and every evening because I work in London.3) I don't know if I count the July era as the start of the break up or when he officially said he was done. exactly one month ago...4) I started no contact for 2 weeks (only speaking about the kids) and then he said "I want to stop all this and aim to be friends", since then we've been messaging jokes back and forth and acting almost like we were except for the elephant in the room , us not talking about feelings. I offer him a coffee each morning and then some days we text back and forth all day, other days we don't text much at all...5) We have been together 8 years, married for one. We have disabled children and debts together. He's moved in with his mum. I've watched so many videos and read so many books, now I'm all confused as to where I am. I sort of did no contact then he said he wanted to be friend, I agreed because us ignoring each other during the kid swap would leave me in tears each time when he wouldn't look at me or come in the house. I am a natural peace maker. So I'm guessing I should try no contact again and fade away like you said?

I agreed to be friends with my ex after the break up and I fought for 4 months for it. We were together for 4 months, he had get divorced a few months earlier and has a child. Since October we were on really good terms. I was patient and I was so happy about the progress. I thought we would be back together, because we ccommunicated like before. Iam so foolish. After 2 weeks of Christmas break he didn't have time for me. I texted him that I was missing him. "What do you want? We're just friends". He's been avoiding me since. He was away for another 2 weeks and he doesn't care to meet me. I love him so much and miss him. What did he think? That I stopped loving him? That I was so committed because I just want to be friends? I cannot stop thinking about him and I am hurt every time he doesn't want to see me. It is like being broken up with again and again :( Why can't I stop caring about him and his son? Why am I so stupid to think that he would fall in love with me!? I know that I should let him go before he finds another girl.

Kinda difficult since me and my ex work together..

Being friends with the ex means someone wants the other person. When a relationship fails, it's done and dusted. It is recipe for disaster. Just as much as I do not feel comfortable with my bird chatting up with her ex, I also do not like chatting up the bird was seeing.

It's kinda hard since we have to work together. So I have to be friendly instead of being cold like I want to be.

My boyfriend still in contact with Ex wife. Mind you they have no. Kids together. They follow and like each others posts on Instagram. I have told him countless times that I am very uncomfortable with them being friends. But it looks like I keep talking to myself. I most of the time feel disrespected. He always assures me that he is over her and he's not going back to her no more!!!

This is so true.. i am trying hard to forget my ex, but still. Cannot because we are still good friends and help each other’s when needed, but sometimes, I am curious if he has someone in his life and start bothering too much about him. As long as he doesn’t have someone I am happy, but always have doubts if he gets someone. So, we shouldn’t be friends at all. Further, before my ex, the first boyfriend I had, had a bad breakup with me and I completely blocked him for more than a year, after that my feelings were fading away and now I have nothing for him, but for my ex, still have feelings because we are good friends and everyday reminds our past.

I just had to subscribe because you have explained everything that has make me to feel better because my ex is persuaded to love his family members I can't be friends in that anymore I just believe there is no future again within us, thanks so much ur the great❤❤👍👍👍😊😊

I have been friend with my ex for 3month during this time she once said she miss me ....but today I jus texted her saying "our breakup means alot to me, it has motivated me to make some changes in my life .I'll be off for a while u might not hear me for somtimes" can u plz suggest something on this

Just the day she broke up with me ,she is asking if I’m angry with her how should I ignore the message?

We started as best friends though, it’s impossible to not be friends.

OMG! Its really a great tips & advice.. I really impressed and yea, what all you had said was all trueee😌

I’m currently friends with my long distance ex who broke up with me a few months ago (she already did no contact on me, before returning and asking to be friends) and considering doing no contact due to some recent friction. The problem is, we’re in a chatroom with a mutual group of friends, and I don’t really want to forfeit my space to her. If I talk in the chat, she usually responds. We both have the more dominant personas in the group, so often when we interact we end up defaulting into this flirty banter mode that takes over the chat. Sometimes it goes smoothly, sometimes she seems to pull back mid conversation - like she suddenly remembered we aren’t together anymore, and other times she teases/taunts me in some rather hurtful ways (although she did that in the months leading up to our relationship too, so I don’t really know what to think).

What if he says he doesn't hate you but doesn't say we should be friends. It was a ugly break up

Hey, me and My girlfriend broke up about 3 months ago, and we started talking after a month. We talked about getting back together, but she said she was afraid, so we decided to see what happened. She wanted me to show her that I changed, so I did, I showed her everyday that I thought of her, that I love her and that I'll never make the same mistake. We kissed, went on dated, told each other that I love you. And 1 day she told me she got invited out by her friend.. and that she liked him a little, so she decided to go on that date, and then she told me that she wanted to see how it goes with him, something new... and I was heartbroken.. but I told her that I respect her and will always love her. And later she said that it didn't quite feel right to be with him, but she still wanted to try it out.. and I told her that she should just follow her heart and take some time to think about what she really wants. And she said that her heart lead to me, but she still wants to test something new with that new guy :( She confuses me, but I told her that I'll wait. But she does not want me to meet new girls and she said that I am her number 1, that nothing can come between us.. What should I do?! Help please

I don't want my ex back,i just want to be friends,her friends are my friends,so being friends is kinda a necessity

if you have truly loved that person and now they are an Ex to you. Cut all ties!!!!! trust me it doesnt work for long. Short term it may, but usually it ends up in disappointment.

What to I do now he has girlfriend I have done No contact rules after I accept his request to remain as a friend. And after no contact for more than a month I started talking to him as if nothing has happened, How do I end this friendship thing and makes him miss me and wants me back . I really wants him back 😭😭😭

Hi Brad, My name is Al. I have a unique/weird situation. I was in a relationship for 10 years and my ex express that she wasn't happy. She has insecurities and trust issues. I even suggested that we go to couples therapy and she didn't want to. In March of this year we broke up because she wanted space. I didn't want to do this but I respected here wishes. In the beginning of the split she would call me but the conversations were very short but now the conversations are longer (15-30 mins) but mostly about her job. We don't see each other (No Contact). Just the other day she told me that she's dating and moving on with her life. She been on several dates and none of them have worked out. She blames me for that because she doesn't trust anyone and she lies to her dates when they ask her if she still talks to me by saying no. I told her don't call me if its causing you problems. Her response was I can't stop just like that and you're my best friend. I love her a lot and she means the world to me. I'm respecting her by giving her space I want her back. I'm so lost. I don't understand how she's moving on so fast after 10 years. Do you or anyone have any advice?

This was extremely helpful. After 26 years of verbal abuse in our marriage I divorced him. I saw him a few days ago for the first time since court. He was so distant and cold and was singing his live in girlfriend's praises. I asked him to look me in the eye and tell me he doesn't love me.....He cried and said he will always love me. I broke down too. He asked me if we could be friends???? I had no idea what that meant until I watched your video(I thought he was brushing me off) He said he's moved on but he said he loves me?????

Hei i contacted my ex to day after 1,5 Month, he dumpt me bye the way. I asked if he want to just hang out some time. He Said yes wi can, but remeber that we are not in a reallationship, and i dont want to give you false hopes... What do i do? 😭

What should I do if I already accepted my ex to be his friend? I already did the No Contact Rule and updated my profile picture, but I don't what else I should do

hey...just saying the friend zone isn't being friends with your ex...its when your stuck being friends with someone who you want to date and it isn't going anywhere

so basically, you just flip the finger, and just disappear until they come back if you want them back

I have same Problem with my ex girlfriend now,she asked me to be friends,and i said ok, but now i don't feel comfort and she tried to control me ,she wait my text if not she don't text me first,since yesterday i have changed ma mind i quit texting and calling her and i will continue at least 30 days and i will see what will happen, hope it will work ,Thank you Bro..

We were committed for 2 years and then suddenly we ended. But IAM still loving. Now iAm in the 4th year. So I want to get him back 😭 so I tried to be friendly with him. So I had enjoyed a lot the moments by being friendly with him but he was dating an another girl who was my friend. Now iAm very sad. So i stopped messaging , liking and commenting . But he still sending messages . Does. No contact rule work here . Docter

shit watching half way into this video made me feel slightly sadder because it's been like months since she pretty much found a new guy and i've stayed too much in contact already. i'm pretty sure i've already been replaced. this video kinda just made me think that when she and her BF breakup she'll feel this for him not me...god damnit. ah well... damaging life moments...

Hi Brad, Decided to ask this here as it’s the video with the most relevant topic to my issue, I’ll try to keep it short. Had a relationship, started really well, just rocketed sky-high in the first few weeks and was amazing for the first 2 months. Following that, she detached, possibly because she knows we’ll both be leaving the city we’re in now at the end of June and wanted a less-involved relationship. I couldn’t adapt that quickly to this new thing and we started arguing, finally broke up. she wanted to stop talking for a couple of weeks and then try to be friends when we’re back in town as we both left for holidays. 2 questions: 1. Does the fact that we agreed not to talk diminish the influence of the no-contact strategy? Should I keep in no contact for slightly longer then? And 2. We’re sharing the same group of friends here. Matter fact, we’re in a way holding it together and it almost impossible to imagine that we won’t be spending time together because of this. Supposing that after this no-contact phase, she doesn’t want to get back together. Should I go ahead with the ‘let’s-be-friends’ thing and in time try to get her back or should I reject the idea? Thanks for your time and consideration

This is great advice. I’m going to need it. I’m going to do it now.

My ex just gave me texts today after 1-half weeks of No-contact, she wanted to know more what I have meant when proposing us to 'still try' and that she keeps thinking us again and again which is bad for her, after brief discussion where I elaborated what I meant, I noted that she's seeing already someone new and I respect that. She proposed us to not burn all bridges and still be friends, I almost copied the line from Brad here.. And she got angry unfortunately. But indeed us being friends ISN'T good for her neither, if she wants to try her luck with the new relationship she's looking into I'm just in the way! I want her to realize this way that we were the real deal.. I understand her being angry is the "not having control over me". Ok I feel bad of breaking the no-contact, couldn't stay CASUAL & Funny, but I guess if she brings up relationship stuff, one must discuss that. With authority.

This is such an issue huh lol.. Man it's not easy. And I definitely agree with your advice not just on this topic, but all of your topics. I'm about to purchase your book because it soothes the soul.. I have a bit of a twist in my situation. My ex wants to be friends but exclusive friends. She says that because of the issues we've had in the past, that she would want to be friends with me, while still sleeping together (even tho we haven't slept together since the breakup 4 days ago), and go from there to see if I've made the changes necessary for us to work. This is tempting because she's saying we're not going to be dating or seeing other people, but she's not ready to jump back in since she wants to see if I've truly made my changes. It's not the typical, lets be friends and I'll let you know how much fun I'm having partying or dating other people. No way I can accept that.. So based on that, would you still say no to her request? Thanks in advance Brad and hope all is well!

Bro we only have a week left to see each other tho 😷💔

Hey! I am so frustrated right now! He asked me to be friends with him but i denied ...but i end up missing him like hell ..and now i am screwed.

I tried to get out when I last saw her but it was so hard when she was staring and smiling the whole time. Now I have no choice but to fade away. It's even harder cause she's helping get a really good job soon. I never wanted friendship but said yes like an emotionally weak dumb ass. We used to be together 8 years ago and I had enough sense back then to cut her off no problem. It took 8 years for her to come back to me out of the blue. When she did we got more close and intimate. History has repeat itself. A big part of me wants her back a small part is fine if she's gone.

Thank you for all the breakup advices brad this means alot during my heartache days.. I get through alot of depression and when I saw your videos and advices I was seeing hope again..but unlike any other first time newbie in applying "no contact" I screw up sometimes. I dont messege her at all but sometimes I do stalk her facebook pages and react to her posts... I want to ask something im at day 16 of no contact should I be friends with her at facebook or not? Should I unfriend her and all her mutual friends just to be safe in applying no contact?? I hope to get a response.. thanks again brad! :)

In my opinion I think being friends with your ex is not bad it really depends on what really happen in the relationship. If the problem wasn’t you at all of the break up than being friends is better than leaving her alone. Some relationship have problems, some relationship are ment to fall apart and some break ups can be build right back up even if it has to be friends because bonds are ment to be built and bonds are ment to grow and become stronger making that bond become into love. Nobody wants to lose a person when it’s a bond between each other and also being friends can help get your ex back. Think about it, be positive don’t be negative all the time it shows a bad example of you and will make you less attractive to your ex. You have to show your strong and you have to show that your willing to do anything to be with them again. You think it won’t work but did you even bother trying ? Did you bother to try to be more positive and less negative ? Nobody wants to be with a negative person. You fear that you won’t get that ex back ? Well face your fears put your self and for that person first over your fears. If you want something, go get it

What if we have kids together, should we still be no friends ?

Hey Brad, I did the no contact rule after my ex boyfriend broke up with me for a week and a half and reached out to him again through text. I didn't talk about the past and kept the conversation upbeat and positive. We've been talking more again but he still seems cold and kind of distant to me. I think he still wants to talk because he always says at the end of the conversation to text him in the evening "if I want". He's also been complaining to me about how sad he is about having lost a "good friend" at the university he is attending and last night he was going on about how bored and lonely he was. He makes no mention of appreciating my support or saying he misses me though...yet he seems to want to stay in regular contact. Not really quite sure what to do at this point? At this point he's treating (and thinks of me) merely as a friend and I don't know what to do to get him to "open up" like he used to. And I don't want to overdo or push anything. He also seems to want me to contact him first and he's only reached out to me first once, what does that mean? I haven't brought up anything about the past and have been just keeping the conversations happy and positive even though he seems to be the depressed one now and it used to be the other way around before the breakup. Do you have any pointers about what I can do to get him back?

Hey, so my boyfriend broke up with me after a 8 year relationship (6 years living together). Right after the break up i made a lot of the mistakes your other video talks about. ( texting, calling, begging ext) We still have to see each other a lot this month to move all our stuff out of our apartment (which he currently is not stay at with me at this point- but most of his stuff is). When he comes over we usually end up talking and the conversations are nice and not about the relationship (a lot of smiling and laughing) and we sometimes hangout after he comes over (go get drinks). He also said once (after about a week apart) that we maybe could rekindle things with time (said this when meet in person), but then about a week and a half later said " its friendship or nothing" ( in a text message) . I agreed to be friends, and now i'm going to have to see him a lot and every time i do i feel great, but after he leaves i feel down again. Should i tell him i can't be his friend? how should i do that, if i want more then friends, and to get him back (and he said friendship or nothing)? advice?

thank you for sharing valuable tips👍

thanks for leading me here. I'll be sure to use the no contact and tell u how it goes:)

So my situation is hard . Me and gf dates for 10 months and just broke up last week . She said she still wants to be friends & we can still text & hang out as friends . But she said I didn’t try enough for her or put her first in the relationship & she said the guys that she’s been snap chatting recently , she said those guys actually try for her & she said it feels nice to have someone actually try for her . Should I try to win her back or should I fall off the map for a few weeks completely and make her miss me organically and do the no contact period for like 2-3 weeks ??? Thank you for your time & response

Me and my ex boyfriend were together for almost 9 months. He broke up with me before our anniversary. And we had wayyyyy more good memories and very less bad. Do you think he'll crawl back after a 30 days or earlier? We've been threw alot together (in a good way than bad). A week after i cried to him and crap he said he doesnt see a future..then 3 days later he said he does but in the far future. Im the best gf he ever had and same with me. He broke up with me bc of the "disrespect" which i didnt see and bc of our arguements. Our arguements were dumb so dumb. People at my age (15) are going threw wayyyyyy worse but he says stop comparing people to us. -__- i love him he says he loves me and says im always his baby. So i feel like there's an 80% chance of him wanting me back. Idk im lost. Help.

What if you don’t love your ex anymore but still want to be friends or be a part in each others life could it work ?

I tried to tell him I didn't want to be friends, but he kept insisting and wouldn't take no for an answer. I'm confused about how to move forward, and why his behavior is like this.

My ex said she wants to be just good friends with me...but now I have started the No Contact period...is it ok?

what if your ex-boyfriend uses you as a friend, but when you were together he never used you were his Queen?

shes getting serious with her rebound. Everyone told me she was stringing me along and using me as a plan B whenever he wasn't available. She would send me nostalgic things sometimes but mostly just complaining about her day. The last time she came over she said she couldnt stay the night and I saw she was texting him. She said he was out with friends. He lives across from her so hes over a lot. I told her that we probably shouldnt be friends right now so that I can move on and that I wish her the best and ill be here if she needs me. she responded with "I understand. I know. I wish you the best too" then a couple of hours later "My heart is broken but I want you to be happy". I didnt respond...I feel like I fucked up but it was killing me she blew me off several times and it was pretty clear that they were having a lot of sex (shes very sexual and last time I was at her place I saw beer and lube). I felt like I was just the shoulder to cry on not the sexual interest. I needed a power move but maybe I shouldve just stayed with not responding but I felt like they came across immature.