I had a Skype session with Craig today that was one of the best investments in myself that I have made. Craig was able to help me understand the attachment styles of myself and my ex. Not a final answer, but a translation of a foreign language. Thank you Craig!
A month and a half into Craig Kenneth’s Channel and Luving Every single videos I encounter!! So knowledgeable, informative, calming of the soul and the humor he brings! What cannot you Luv about him!! I’m learning and understanding about Attachment Styles myself and wondering where I fall under. Thankful, Grateful and Truly Blessed! 💕🙏🏼😇
@A2Kaid well aren’t you just a bundle of positivity. Smh oh and important thing to remember, just because someone does miss you doesn’t mean they don’t want to get back together with you, either. The door swings both ways.
My avoidant ex texted with a "sorry to bother you text" and included some link that he thought would "interest" me. I replied with "who is this". He replied with his name, apologized again. I never replied. If he thought he was ever going to get an opportunity to ghost me again, he was wrong. I turned the tables and took my power back. I refuse to play those games 🎮
Good for you Kimberlin! Mine reached out a week ago after mercilessly blocking me and my sister and friends from all socials . I responded in a friendly yet reserved manner. I told her in just 3 minutes of our text exchange that it was great hearing from her and that I have to go.
I did this to my ex! I've send you something that I knew would help him with a health issue he has, so I really thought I was being nice to him. He didn't answer, and I don't mind that he didn't answer, but I really hope he took that into consideration. Am I an avoidant asshole?
@@carolinaollive did you blow him off before or give him mixed messages? Because if so then yes, sorry; you don't get to pick and choose when to be in someone's life life if you actually haven't maintained a connection. In my case it's like, you don't get to treat me like a good friend who is here for you when you haven't been a good friend to me.
@@KLEFF718 Yes, I did blow him off... he blatantly called me a liar and I asked him to never talk to me again after that. Thank you for your honesty. I indeed am the avoidant asshole, and I didn't know.
@@carolinaollive I think I need more context...did you lie to him? And if you told him to never contact you again, then you contacted him, it's kinda too many mixed messages. Maybe he blocked you and never received it?
My avoidant ex will reach out and want me to chase him. I won't. Doesn't matter that he misses me, he cares about me, but what difference does it make when he always runs away and never is going to actually be available to a real relationship. The latest thing he did was my dad died from covid and he said he would come over and keep me company. He never showed up. He called 2 days later to apologise but I didn't answer the phone. I can't allow this person to continually hurt me.
@@alexandrachirila1917 yes he did. I've done no contact. Every once in a while he messages me. I hadn't heard from him in like 6 months and xmas he texted merry Xmas.
@@Miswhitness0520 I shouldn't be surprised by his actions. I gave him the chance to step up but I was pretty clear minded that he was going to default to his normal m.o. It's been 8 weeks since my dad passed. Grief is hard work. Being separated from family during these times is hard too. I happen to be in Australia and all my family is in the States. I have a bad feeling my next trip back will be the most emotional of all my trips back "home". The last time I left the US things were not good and they got much worse. The whole thing sucks. In Australia we can for the most part pretend like everything is normal except we can't leave the country.
@@kristinaldridge1712 they say avoidants won’t be there to support you through tough times , sorry if this comment offends . But I’ve experienced this plenty of times . We don’t want to be dismissed . Like their parents dismissed them .
As a therapist, if you choose an avoidant, prepare for constant disappointment. You will do everything and carry most of the weight. If you are a woman, don't expect the avoidant man to lead out in anything. Truly, it's better to run as fast as you can. Find a healthier relationship. You deserve more.
I’m a man with an avoidant ex…. I tried everything but I gave up, she left me and came back three times. I got stronger each time. Now, I won’t go back because it’s hard with an avoidant woman…
@@joev7014nah…you ain’t strong! She wasn’t avoidant. She just wasn’t interested in you and got kicked to the curbs by other dudes and just came back to you knowing you’ll be sticking around…rather go back to less than nothing. She’s a low value woman herself and you’re a low value man.
@@joev7014 She just broke up, my Ex has avoidant style. Suddenly out of know where she started point small faults saying absurd reasons for breakup. And she broke up twice in 10days. Leavinf me hopeless as we were supposed to get married soon. Left me to die as i was later diagnosed with BPD. Too late i found videos like this till then i had already begged n pleaded and reached common friends which only made her super resentful towards me. The pain and agony is unbearable. Been in No contact from last 30days. Still struggling to forget her and trying to work on myself slowly. But sometimes the pain is too much to bear
Not necessarily true. Besides breaking up with my gf because her anger issues, I broke up with her because my avoidant nature isn’t compatible with her anxious attachment style.
Same here. My ex could use sorry, looked genuinely guilty over lots of things - such as his work or other people. And his leaving text message was nice, supportive and friendly. He had been a gentleman for 15 months but I didn’t know what I was dealing with - the ‘space and freedom’ stuff when other couples I know are joined at the hip.
Sometimes I realize i want my ex back just as much as I want onion rings. The problem is that i shouldn't have any of the two because they're not good for me. I always choose the onion ring because it's easier.
I get random texts and I sent back civil and polite ones. It's been 5 months and I've already started dating. It was honestly easy to start dating because I realized she didn't give me much to miss, which was the problem.
As I listen to videos about avoidants, I realize you have to bend for them. They can’t seem to make the change to adjust to affection, expressing feelings and be more communicative, so it’s left for everyone else. I never feel I can express myself. I always walk on eggshells shells. It isn’t a good life. How can they fix to NOT be so avoidant so we can meet in the middle? Feels pretty one sided and to me that makes me realize I cannot be with my ex.
My avoidant ex sent me a text a few days before Thanksgiving and said he had been thinking about me and wondered how I am. I told him he don’t want me or he wouldn’t have left me, twice and that I’m doing alright. That’s all it took to shut him down. Crickets after that. Ain’t nobody got time for an avoidant.
You might not have time for it, but myself, I am in love with one and I will put that work in if she were to come back so she can have the relationship she truly deserves
Maybe your ex left because he left overwhelmed and didn’t know how to properly communicate that. Since there is distance between you to, he’s feeling comfortable again. I’m an avoidant and I recently broke up with my ex but that was mainly due to her anger issues. I miss her but I feel a sense of relief since I no longer feel overwhelmed by her neediness. We did speak a few days after I broke up with her and agreed to do couples therapy. I don’t want to go back to her until I make progress with becoming less avoidant over time.
A few years ago I had a Skype session with Craig, and I’m just now realizing the depth of my ex’s avoidant disorder. And I’m relieved. I really am. Thanks for all you do Craig.
Realistically we need to just move on. Someone's next love is another person's one that got away. It's sad but even as a melancholic and nostalgic person I don't think of some relationships I had years ago. The only one I think about as "real" is the most recent breakup. I'm sure my ex who is a lot more social and approachable than me has a new person, even with the pandemic. She probably just sees our relationship for what it was, a growth opportunity and one she doesn't regret but one she has no interest in returning to. It's not nice but we're all living our own stories. In her head it makes perfect sense and will be the pathway to her eventual happiness.
That is truly insightful and definitely true fact. Your life is what YOU made it! Example! 6 months before breakup she backs off a little but says she has back pain under questioning. (Cos you care) No big deal? WRONG! As time goes by a pattern emerges she backs off further with excuses for being different today! EG "You ok babe? Your very quiet?.."I'm fine just my ????????S playing up!." (Said smilling) "I'll be ok!" So you move forward to compensate for distance. A little more attention and love! Why not? shes in pain? Bombshell inbound! The end is closing in without good communication you're doomed. Advice to all men and women. Match and mirror keep balance by ensuring the partner YOU choose also Choose YOU. Never settle for second place or second best all should be eaqual, keep improving yourself by seeing your flaws and work on them. Yes you should love. But EQUAL to the love you receive.... YOU have one life and only YOU control it. Live it and make it the best it can be. That requires action to keep improving yourself, your life isnt about others it's about YOU! KEEP STRONG AND MOVE FORWARD WITH YOUR LIFE!! Good luck people Much love to all........
You are so right, but it's really not easy to handle this behaviour. His words are so practical that I can't believe he is the man I used to love 10 years
My ex was the same . Her words never matched her actions . I made the mistake of taking her for her word. She would tell me she loves me but would at times give me the cheek when I reached for a kiss. Which never made sense to me. So just make sure you meet her in person more than you do text her..especially now. Cause she could just be texting you only for the validation and the ego stroke but might not even want to work things out with you. And might just be telling you nice things to keep you around. So always get in person and if you really want to know If she loves you like she claims .. try to get physical with her and if she rebuffs your advances then you know where you stand .
This put my anxiety at ease. The way you describe the avoidant fits my ex. Its been since Christmas eve since I've seen her. I miss her. But I'm focusing on myself and my kids. I reinventing myself with getting in shape n learning from these videos
My shy, introverted, homebody avoidant left me for one of her local online gaming friends. We're in our mid-30's, he's a party frat boy in his 20's (she hates partying!). We were good, I asked about the future since it's been 4 years, she broke up the next day. This was in December, and it's been a month of NC. Our mutual friends seemingly got involved by calling her crazy and telling her to call me, which surely helped the situation. Anyway, this channel's been a godsend. I'm learning so much!
@@CoachCraigKenneth I think everything you all explained was exactly what an avoidant would do. My ex did all of them, he is even still friends with my mom on fb and will like posts that have me in them. My ex broke up with me a year ago and has never left me alone. Says he doesn’t have romantic feelings for me but loves me as a friend, hence my interest in whether they really love you or not. I had to finally cut it off because I was tired of having to push down my emotions for him. I know he is missing me and WILL reach out, I’m just done with feeling stuck. But you guys explained it all perfectly and I was laughing at the examples like yup, my ex did that!
@@no1zzle3 my ex been gone for 14 months. Avoidance. Im still friends with him fbook and his family. Ive isolated myself from all my friends. My life has improved, but I've not been on fboomk months at a time. I miss him everyday
Avoidants be happy as shit when they dump their boyfriend or girlfriend randomly they always feel like that was the best decision for the both of you two until it sinks in decades later that maybe just maybe they could have handled things in a logical manner starting with basic communication which they don’t and won’t do they don’t give proper clarification hints the reason why the other person gets triggered you don’t have to just be anxious to get triggered by an avoidant they trigger everybody the only difference is a secure person will not deal with them and their behavior for too long vs the other attachment styles that will try longer because they don’t understand the avoidant a secure person will realize very quickly that something is off with them and wish them well
Nice! Your videos have helped me a lot. I have been watching your videos since last year, and I must say that I have learned a lot from you. But it's true, I was dating an extremely avoidant for almost a year, then went on a 6-month break or so, was in no contact but he keeps on reaching out. It was an on-and-off communication. We started meeting each other again but realized that I probably I don't like him as much as before. But this video is so right and on point, they don't really make a big move, but showing you a hint of interest, just a little too little :) and for me, because of the constant help I get from these videos, I have learned to be in control of my attachment issues (Anxious Attached). I will continue watching your videos, and continue improving myself as well. Now, I am meeting a new person and will see how it goes. Thank You, Coaches! X
My avoidant ex was definitely leaving indirect hints with me short after we broke up. He was talking to a mutual friend of ours and said “another night sleeping alone” while standing near me. Of course he did it to get a reaction from me but I walked away before I did something I regretted.
I'm going through this now. We have been broken up for 15 months. She messages me almost every day. We are like best friends still without the romance. She rarely will come spend time with me but also hasn't let go. She will send me selfies and sometimes of our pets . We spent nine years together. I love her so much and I believe in us. As hard as it is I'll wait.
Sending you positive vibes. You sound like me. 9 years together. We were apart for 2 years. I saw him 3 times this year which is a start Keep working on yourself. Coach Ken will help. Also Dylan James has a beautiful RU-vid for self growth. Both channels helped me.
I can’t even imagine having this attachment style… so sad, they deserve love and want love, but have no idea how… crushes me! I have an avoidant in my life, whom I love with all my heart and I believe he too loves me. after 2 years of Him being in my life, the hot/cold, in/out, no commitment and very little in person contact, has left me feeling emotionally drained.. just found your videos but I don’t think he’s willing to change and I need love too.
I was “separated” from an avoidant after a fight (she was a friend who liked me but I showed insecurity over other dudes and it ended in a fight) about 2 months ago. Not a single breadcrumb and she went dark on the one account she follows me with the DAY I sent my last text to her. As always, thanks for the tips.
After this video, I’m to assume, I had an avoidant by him breaking up via email, then at the end of the email, asked me to call him to talk. Ummmmmm… No, Thank You. No Contact. Blindsided and did not see the break up coming. Much Thanks for all your informative videos! 💕
Should it matter that an avoidant misses you? Isn't a relationship about connecting personally anyway? Is it worth the questions, soul searching , and heartbreak they put you through wondering what happened to what you thought you had togehter?
That's the most frustrating thing. You know when they miss you. But what are you supposed to do about it? It's like they won't allow the relationship to be repaired no matter what.
This is on point. My avoidant ex reached out today-exactly 2 months after the breakup. She reached out because a relative of mine passed. However she knew we weren’t close. She made a lot of mistakes during the breakup so she was scared I wouldn’t respond. Of course I did respond. Now she’s keeping it very light but I know she’s missing me. We were engaged, lived together and have a puppy together.
My indirect contact was me using his phone number at a dept store so he would get an email of the receipt showing what I was purchasing. Of course I paid for it but he got the receipt 🤣.
My heart goes out to you ☹️ I’m engaged to an avoidant, and I can see his pain. I’ve learned to deal with a lot of his issues, but sometimes he hurts me so badly (not cheating or hitting, but emotionally absent) that I rethink why on earth I stay. But the truth is that I love him, and even though his parents did this to him, he is a wonderful man. Just very confusing. If I can offer some advice, please get help 🙏🏻 It breaks my heart to see an otherwise beautiful person self-sabotaging....and it hurts the people who love you and don’t understand you. Your friendships and romantic relationships will be much closer ❤️ Best wishes 💖💖
I have struggled with myself before I know about attachment style and behaviour. After I know and eager to learn, I become calm and confident, I love myself and put my high values about the sucks feelings because the cycle never ended. I have to cut the sucks of the cycle. 🤣😂
I suspect my Avoident ex is watching my IG posts.... I accidentally unfriended him on fb...but dont want to post too much as I dont want to alleviate his anxiety.... he also needs to wonder how I am and what Im doing.... I need him to miss me.... 😒😒great video as always, guys!!
i feel like during our relationship my ex was more of the anxious type and i acted more avoidant, but the way the relationship drifted apart and the way she broke up with me seems very avoidant to me. she never told me that she felt unhappy towards the end of the relationship even when i asked her if everything is alright. she must have taken it all in and then just abruptly cut everything off, leaving me scratching my head how it went downhill so suddenly. we even planned on moving in together just a few months prior to the bu
We don't have any mutual friends, no social media connections. Only text. It's been 3 months and haven't heard from him. I don't think I will. He's been firm about his no commitment stance. 😭💔
Do you have to ask them out when they reach out? My ex text me and I responded politely but didn't try to carry the conversation. I feel like she should be the one to say they want to meet up - if I ask, I will seem weak, especially if she says no.
From experience, the meeting or activity has to be their idea otherwise they have a pathetic excuse. Throw an idea out there with little expectations and if they’re interested they will ask you. Taadaa it’s their idea all the sudden.
Definitely ask them out when they reach out. Especially women. Even non-avoidant women will reach out hoping you will initiate something. Also, it keeps your intentions clear, and you remain direct and decisive with what you want. If they say no, then you know what they are willing to give and you can tell them you're only interested in romance, so they can get in touch when they are interested in the same thing. This way things are super clear, and you stand your ground for what you want. This is actually strong.
@@dwightschrute8141 it's been a year since the break up. We spoke over text about once a month, with her initiating 90 percent of the time. On two occasions I asked to see her, but her responses were very meh. She also text me once having a go at me for something which annoyed her 10 months prior which I thought was strange. She always liked everything I uploaded to FB. We last spoke in December, she said she wasn't in a good place so I told her I was always there if she needed someone to talk to, to which she thanked me - I also wished her a happy birthday a few days later. Since NY, we haven't spoke at all - she has stopped liking my stuff. I try not to stalk, but last time I did, it seems she is still single. I've been dating a few girls since the break up and have been working myself - got a new, well-paid job, I'm in better shape, got myself my first home, become vegetarian and I'm now in a band. I'm not going to reach out, sometimes I feel like I want to, other times I don't. She has my number if she wants to text me again. She might be put off as well, since she now knows I've moved cities, so the chances of us getting back together are now slimmer because of that.
Avoidants are like children who occasionally need to gorge themselves with sweets or are an empty tank which occasionally needs to be filled up. They crave closeness, consistancy care and love. All the naturing characteristics they did not receive in early childhood. Once they find a partner who is willing to share these emotions with them they absolutely gorge themselves, they fill up the tank until they feel sick ( literally) Their hunger has been satisfied but....this is not a normal everyday state to them they start to feel uncomfortable stifled and scared and have an urge to sabotaged the relationship. Its like getting on and off a crazy merry go round. Anyone who tries to maintain a decent long term relationship with an avoidant has to settle for inconsistant and infrequent 'quality ' time together. Has to be prepared to modify their love language on case it triggers them.....and do frequent disappearing acts to mimic their primary care giver from childhood. Who can do that ?. Attachment styles need to be included in the school curriculum.
"My DA boyfriend went out to get me breakfast and texted a few hours later that he was "back with his wife". And for me not to call him anymore. We were living together for a year when he did this. He had left to see her before. Each time, it was so devastating that my friend had to keep me together so I wouldn't kill myself. The last time, he texted HER to bring his possessions to him so that he wouldn't have to even see me. He came back for a week, then left again. Each time he did this, he blocked me so,I couldn't call. It's been months 5 months and I'm still not healed up from The trauma 💔
My avoidant , the one I broke up with … wrote a blogpost about our relationship.. summary: “she felt pressured, she felt she had to always be available, she felt that she could never make any mistakes” …basically it’s all my fault . Someone explain this ?
Its sad my guy friend was a avoident i liked him so much i was there for him. Are conection was so beautiful. But he just kept us at a distant. I think he just wasent serious and just love bombed me to see what he can get. Very sad i was inlove with him i still am but blocked me no feelings.
I can’t see him ever reaching out. He literally blocked me while pregnant with his child while I had cancer. I can’t see him after these like 5-6 months being like hey in any form. The shame. The feeling like a jerk. Or him continuing the “ ur a horrible person” narrative will always stand in his way. I would have stopped talking to him sooner after I broke up with him but I stayed in contact for obvious reasons. He was a different person that last day so mean. Trying to force me to do things I kept saying I wasn’t comfortable with. Which wasn’t new news for him
Hi Coach Craig. My ex posted her picture on her FB stories. I noticed that the stories privacy settings was changed from private to public. She did this almost everyday. Knowing her, she's a very private person. Do you think there's a message on why she do it? Or some kind of a mixed signal? Thanks in advance.
Now in this case, is the avoidant person the one who initiated the breakup or the one who was dumped? Because if I was the one who got dumped, I’m not going to rekindle things unless they start. If I was the dumper I would initiate contacting if I want the other person back not the other way around.
My avoidant does tel me he misses me or he’s needs me , which I love , he has no social media 😅 but of course he doesn’t always say I miss you or etc so when he does I just love it 🥰 because I know it’s hard for him to express his feelings . & I think avodiants also express there love & affection with luv making , it’s amazing.
My ex has come up to me in public twice during no contact. Extremely angry and pissed off that I haven't contacted her. The second time she came up extremely angry and we started to talk for about 10 minutes and ended up a positive interaction. Thoughts?
What if they breadcrumbed you for a while and then said they didn’t want to get back with you? So you told them if they didn’t want to get back with you to never contact you again? Could they come back then?
Can you please make a video about how to go no contact when your kids are bonded? Or with stepkids? My ex is a classic avoidant, he did everything you describe. I miss him a lot, but yesterday my phone rang and it was his 8 year old son, not him. We talked for 45 minutes, and his son wants to see me so badly.. we were together for a year, and I am the only other adult besides his biological parents who loved him. I know I mean a lot to him, no contact with both of them is hard.
my DA reached out today to ask me how am i and when i replied i am fine and thanked him for asking.. he said thank you for everything(emotional), i asked for what? and he said for being patient to me.
What does it say/mean when she breaks the silence after a year and a half to wish me a happy birthday, asks me how I'm doing, I reply, she leaves me on read and goes right back to ignoring me for the next 2 months, all the while continuing to post a cute new selfie every other day? Other than to test me that is.
My avoidant started dating 2 months after the breakup. It's been six months of being in no contact and he's never tried reaching out. I really don't feel he ever cared for me.
After a month of NC my avoidant started calling me through “No Called ID”. He called 4 times in a span of 24 hours. Although I picked up 2 out of the 4 calls, he didn’t say anything. I acted nonchalant about it. How do I know it was him? Although he blocked his phone ID, his phone number still showed in my phone records 🙊. I’m sure he has no idea that I can still see him number. In the mean time, I will remain in NC until he directly txt me or calls me.
Hey Craig... 6 year relationship, she has had 0 friends since the beginning and believes her family is her friends. 7 months no contact. She blamed me at the end almost like villainizing me to reason why she needed to break up and asked me to not contact her to have space and heal. I have respected those wishes. The day after the breakup she purged any reminder of me, removed all my friends on social, all of our posts, and even wanted her belongings immediately. Can some avoidants take a long time to miss you?
You have to move on. It is really hard. It sucks. My ex was also 6 years. She broke up with me during our "5 year plan" talk. She used it trying to trap me in saying something that she thought we weren't compatible on (kids). She immediately said there's some stuff at your place I'm going to need back and here are your spare apartment keys. 3 weeks later I bring her stuff back (I had stuff being sent to her place so I waited until everything arrived so it would be one trip) and she hugged me, kissed me, flirted with me, stared at me, laughed at my jokes, allowed me to stay there longer than necessary and then absolutely nothing after that. Just have to move on. Do you really want to have to dance around or walk on eggshells hoping you don't say or do the wrong thing to push her away again?
Never ever get them back after you broke up. After all there are billion of men and women out of which 10% of them are your age category so better to let them go and move on
My ex has never reached out but posted a picture of the two of us on FB about a year after the break-up. He is blocked but we have mutual friends who sent me the post.
So she hasn’t ended it, asked for space/break because she just can’t handle it rn, she has a lot going on in her life, passing of a good friend, she has health issues, her child has health issues, her grand father was in th hospital, and she had to put her dog down, she doesn’t treat me at all like she used to and when I ask what’s going on between us she doesn’t give any real responses
Wow, what is the time line of when to just Give up & move on? It’s been 3 1/2 months for me now. He’s ask people about me but has not reached out himself. ?????!! Thanks
My avoidant guy blew me off for 2.5 months but reached out with a “hey hey” after he saw my IG story where a guy was sitting across from me at a restaurant. I responded hello. And then he said nothing. Wtf?
@@CoachCraigKenneth wow! Thanks for replying! I’m honored! ☺️. seriously, though, is it a game? Just to see if I’m still on the hook? Just to see if I would reply after he has been absent and probably looking around for other potential women?
@@Dana-oo9kp Don't confuse avoidant and cluster B manipulative behaviors. You responded yourself, it was an ego boost to see if you're still waiting on the shelf
@@MissSarahGM hi. Thanks for your input. While I’m not a psychologist, after having googled cluster b personality disorder, he doesn’t fit the bill . He’s got almost no affect and very low emotional frequency. He is a class A dismissive avoidant and also selfish in that he has low empathic outreach. But I’m not “entitled” to him loving me or behaving the way I want, so he is free to be as he wants to be and I know I have to choose for what’s right for me. He reached out to me yesterday. We had a nice but surface conversation over text. And I let him have the last text and dropped off, myself, as I was not inspired to reply.
@@Dana-oo9kp Hi, maybe he's a "simple" DA disconnected from his feelings. However, you are entitled to a response when he texts you. It is a common thing we see with narcissistic types to send a text and then disappear when you reply, "bait and switch". If you had a friendly text conversation, it's a beginning. Good move to not put a lot of efforts into carrying the convo. My DA is quite extreme, he finally replied to my text and seemed happy and interested for a few days, even double texted me and thanked me about the pictures I had sent. Just when he seemed to warm up, a couple of days later he stopped responding, he didn't even open the message. Very ambivalent. I know I should let it go but sometimes I feel like pursuing again and I know it's bad
My avoidant ex broke up with me the week before Christmas, by telephone. Expressing how not having enough respect to do it in person, she randomly showed up at my house to drop off a few bags of my stuff. She wasn’t even going to let me know she came by. I am in no contact now. She has an 8yr old whom she told she broke up with me, and being a good mom, she won’t have a guy in and out of her life. This is a tough pill to swallow, do I break no contact and reach out?
What happens if you took away the only person they contact to remind you of him? I let go of a very long-term friend because they turned out not best for my personal growth and weren't who I thought they were. He doesn't have social media he is active on. He does have a FB account which I believe he is looking at me on it. He turns up in my People You May Know. No mutual friends either. He is avoidant attachment. Not severe but it's there. He's extremely stubborn. We haven't spoken since Feb 2021
What if your ex sends you screen shots of movies or shoes you like after you set boundaries that you don’t want to be friends and they still text you stuff like this ?
Yeah same. She's right to if she's over it but she literally just went all 1984 on our relationship. There are no traces and no connections. It's for the best from her perspective but it's mad how connected some people can feel. With my ex once she was done she was done.
@@whatsthemattereu8139 man I have never felt a connection like a do with my ex. Broke nc after a month and got a cold response. My message was light hearted and nice. Some people can just move on seemingly without remorse. These are brutal learning experiences. If you feel so strongly about a connection what do you do? I'm trying to move forward and work on myself but she pops into my head daily and those thoughts drag you back down and leave you feeling lost again. Sigh..
@@grahamwalton8351 I don't know man. It's strange that they would react so cold. It makes no sense to me at all but one thing I've thought about is that in general, we're all not as nice as we seem. I think the ex knowing you doesn't feel obliged to keep up the social pretence of pleasantries. It's like you are of no value to me anymore so what do you expect me to do? I'm trying to understand it from a less brutal point of view and that the ex does what they have to do to get over it but that doesn't make sense to me. Surely once the romantic feelings are gone it would become a lot easier to be pleasant yet distant? That would equally be horrible to experience but least it wouldn't make it seem as clinically detached as it does now
@@whatsthemattereu8139 makes you wonder if the connection you feel is one sided? I can't believe that though there is noway something that strong is possible without 2 people actually feeling it. We went way too fast and we crashed. She wasn't ready and took the easy way out and ran. Sux but there's nothing I can say or do to bring her back now. Have to just keep working on myself and move forward. Man oh man though when we were together wowza! Want that connection again someday!
