I would also like to know what to do if we have children together, even though they are teenagers. For me it been a year that I walked out because he treated me bad and not valued me.
@@jenni8907 They both had recent break ups, then spent a week together on vacation. I don't care about celebrity gossip but somehow I CARE ABOUT THIS!!
I broke no contact after two weeks because she was looking at my instagram every day for two weeks then blocked me. I sent her messages asking why she was looking at me and I called her twice. I got zero response and I felt awful. I felt like the power I gained for the past month was gone. Reaching out won’t work, ever. It’s not worth it. Sending the message and hopefully waiting feels good for a few minutes then they don’t reply and you realize they don’t care. It’s so depressing . It’s not worth it, just move on
When Margaret intervene with her soft voice and insight , I just get so relieved like I can’t explain 😂, I don’t think I cant ever watch just Craig by himself and I don’t think I can watch just Margaret, but the both together????? best anxiety killing dynamic duo on RU-vid
You must realize that if they're not motivated to reach out to you, you shouldn't reach out to the them (not that we haven't all failed in this regard). The ball is in their court. Meanwhile, meet someone new
Yes, spot on. I've heard that advice from another coach: "If you're worried that if you break contact and don't try to get them back soon, they'll move on to someone else. Well, you now have your answer if they're the right person for you."
My partner and I broke up 2 weeks ago and I have repeatedly broken no contact since then to the point that he has blocked me on everything. We had made so many plans for our future and, at the moment, it feels as if my whole life has to start again. I know that we could never go back to how things were at the end of our relationship and wish I hadn't made so many mistakes in the past 2 weeks. It's so hard bring without someone who was such a pivotal person in your life. But I know I have to do this. Hopefully I will start to feel more positive soon and either reunite in some way or move forward with more wisdom and insight
Today is week 5 of NC for me, after a slow fade half ass break up (he didn't even have the guts to tell me I want to break up, he was trying to make me do it) was weird. But it was clear he wanted out so I let him go. I dreamt last night that I got drunk and broke NC with some silly texts, and this morning was super messy, he was treating me badly etc. When I woke up I was panicking because I did have a couple of glasses of wine and thought about messaging him, but I wrote what I wanted to say in a note and saved it for when I was sober. THANK GOD. I didnt send anything, such a bad idea. I almost had a heart attack in the morning and had to go check his chat see if I haven't messaged. Don't do it people, especially not at night or drunk.
I really needed this today. It's been four months since the break-up. Sometimes, I feel okay enough to breathe, but the past few days I've been dreaming about her again and either going through "another" break-up or discovering she's with someone new. Needless to say, my anxiety is through the roof. I also feel like our last few interactions months ago made it seem like I don't want her in my life or don't want to talk to her. Of course, nothing can be further from the truth. I'm not sure whether I should reach out to clarify things or just leave it in the air. She said she still deeply loved me even two days after the break-up but less than a week after her feelings were gone, her desire to be with me was gone, etc. Now, she's resolute that she'll never get to "that point" where she'd want to patch things up. She even told me she doesn't think that there's a future with us in it. I'm just so torn and grieving deeply. It helps to type this out. I'm so sorry you're all going through this pain. I'm here to commiserate with -- literally, to suffer with -- you.
@@dwightschrute8141 Nothing. I haven't broken no contact and she hasn't reached out at all. I'm just trying to make peace with it, no matter how much my heart refuses.
@@daenithriuszanathos9306 you message really helped me. My ex wife is now threatening legal. I've done all the fundamental mistakes and reached over and over even though I know its making it worse.
Thank you so much for this video. This is really helpful I have no words to express how grateful I feel for the 3 of video posting these type of videos.
I disagree, if she's truly the one u feel for u and ur relationship was overall very good and the split not violent or argumentative, then never give up hope, move in with ur life don't pause ur life and wait around for her, live ur life, do hobbies, gym, work whatever date new woman but if she truly is the love u feel is meant to be never give up that hope as when it does happen u probably won't want it to happen at that stage if u do...
It's NEVER TOO LATE TO DO NC. To those who are going through this, I've done it. I broke NC and insulted him but I apologized to him but he ignored me, I went to his work place after a few weeks of NC but I didn't talk to him. I felt horrible but I still remained NC. But hey 6 weeks after going on NC, he finally reached out to me, apologizing to me, asked me if he could come back into my life, even if I said no, he wants to be my friend. I politely said I'm not interested but agreed to meet up with him. But at this point I realized that I don't want him back. He hasn't changed and I'm not letting him or anyone to break my heart twice!! So when he calls me back, I gotta tell him the truth and I don't want to talk to him ever again
In no contact for almost 8 months and I have no plans on breaking no contact but it’s tough. I’m trying to keep myself busy as much as I can because if I’m not busy, he will cross my mind. I feel like he’s never going to reach out because he’s super stubborn and I don’t even feel like he regrets the way he’s treated me.
Excellent video coaches! Spot on! I am in no contact and although I feel very upset, I refuse to reach out for my own self respect. I’ll delete their number from my phone before I contact him. Nice work! Have a great Memorial Day weekend.
It’s been almost 5 months since the breakup and I’ve been working on myself and doing no contact since when she wished me happy birthday. We’ve been together for over 5 and half years and I just want to apologize for my behavior the last couple of weeks, prior to the breakup. Now that the holidays are upon us, it’ll be our first holiday season apart and our anniversary is on the day before Christmas Eve and my separation anxiety is going crazy.
Thank you so much I recently came across your channel I must admit and say that that you are helping so many of us who really need help I have started following whatever you say Thank you so much again Sending loads of love and prayers from India 🇮🇳 to you and the team You all are AWESOME 👌 😘❤
This is so clear now when i do not care if my ex comes back or not lol, she have reaching out and i suspect shes playing a game the way she tries doing thing, though to her dissapointment i dont care anymore lol so shes playing her game with herself when shes stop this childis behavior and want to talk as adult im ready to listen what she have to say but for now honestly i dont care. Specially when i get a dose of dopamin everytime i see coach Victoria haha her smile kills me. You guys are awesome ty for everything during my break up much love :)♥♥
I had to reach out to my ex the other week for business purposes. But before that, I was in no contact for many months. I hope that does not interrupt her grieving process.
I broke no contact and got my ex back. It was 11 days and I buckled. She told me that she would have messaged me eventually, so I feel like I lost 'the game'. Our separation was based on stupid knee jerk reactions so it was a little different. It gave me time to research her personality type which is dismissive avoidant. I now know how to handle her better moving forward so these videos have been invaluable.
sounds like exactly what happened when i went back to my ex. he would always say he was eventually going to contact me... we broke up again though so i wish you the best of luck honestly. he is also dismissive. i really suggest getting couples therapy, i wish we would have when we still had the chance. dealing with someone who is dismissive is reallly hard if you dont have support in place.
@@fj4731 based on the video,i think you can break NC when you're emotionally ready for anything like being rejected or accepted.and you have to be calm
I made it to day 8 of NC. We had a 10 min conversation and I apologized for all my behavior. I asked if she was still interested in couples counseling. She said no that I had to work on myself 1st. I agreed, I told her perhaps down the line. I reinitiated NC. Back to day one..... ugh
@archangelelmo We did! About a month later, we have been growing stronger everyday set boundaries and continue to learn each other! Thank you for checking in!
You are very correct all 3 of you. Some coaches the say reach out after 30 days or 21 days they are very rong the only person have to reach is the dumper
Every day I go into no contact. Every day I stay in no contact. I’ve been doing it so long that I’ve forgotten I’m in no contact 🙋♀️ he has been in contact now and I just think, what kind of clown is he 😄
Can u do a video of parents influencing decisions and if and how I can change my exs thinking...her parents disliked me, my ex still says she loves me but because of her parents and the arguments it caused her being with me and the threats of losing her parents she chose to end things and will not entertain the idea of trying again because of the shit it wud cause
@@laurennicolemb702 i know I can't change her thinking as such, itsbher parents I don't want her to not have them in her life or her be in there's but she's a damm middle aged woman and mother herself surely she's old enough to be left to make her own choices and decisions and obviously should it fall apart then of course be there to help pick the pieces up but throughout our relationship we were so happy together, SHE was so happy and told me herself she hadn't been so happy ever in her life than she was being with me and her parent even commented on how bright she had become and looked happy yet they just would not leave her be because they love her ex like the son they never had and wants her back with him and won't give up about it and caused so many arguments and made my queen cry so many times bullying her and eventually breakingbher walls down giving her ultimatums to choose and in doing so making her parents happy forsaking the relationship and her own happiness.
I didn't technically break nc; i went 3weeks no contact broke contact to send him his clothes but no other contact; I week later ge wrote to thank me. Then yesterday he wrote me about "sometime in the future he wants to give me my stuff and get his: (things I could mail). So I called and he brought the relanship and I indulge and I feel I messed up and said the wrong thing. We talked for 4 hours and at the end we talked about jus current events I dont know did I mess up my chances.
Id suggest having a second cheap mobile with emergency contacts family/friends use that if you go out on a night out in case you do succumb to drunk/dialing.
I'm in a tough spot with mine. She reached out me a couple of weeks ago after 6-weeks of no contact. Normally, I would take this as a good sign, but she did so in order to inform me that her sister in law was not doing well with her cancer. The sticky part, is that she's currently seeing someone else (her ex). It confuses me as to why she's reaching out to me over this, as I didn't know her sister in law well...but I understand that in times of grief or tragedy, we tend to reach out to the ones closest to us. Throughout this interaction, she on occasion has mentioned that she thinks of me often, has loved me for years and always will and has multiple times expressed her appreciation for me being so supportive to her. She's been beside herself with grief over it all, so I've been as supportive as I can. I know what I'm probably supposed to do is turn her away, because we aren't together any longer and she now has this "ex" in the picture to comfort her....but I'm feeling compelled to put myself out there for her.
Hi I was wondering if you could put out a video (or a few) about how to deal with no contact when you're in a co-parenting situation. I've been watching your videos for almost a year and have learned a lot but some insight into how to deal with a situation where you and your ex have children and see each other a few times a week. Thanks!
Coaches, what if you had been in NC for 6 months. She approached me at the gym and wanted to "check in". We text now and then for a decent amount of time. Should I keep working at it, or go back into NC? Thank you for the content.
My ex contacted me for the first time today after in 8 weeks of NC. Unfortunately it was to help her out. She had to work late and couldn’t take her daughters to cheer so I took the oldest and took the younger girl to the park. Not really any conversation other than a thank you. I didn’t know what to say or how to act. She’s abandoned me twice. I got really nervous…I’m not sure what to do. I had to text her to let her know where we were, but it was awkward. I’m afraid I messed up…
As a woman I can tell you; DO NOTHING!!! Don’t text her or ask her anything. We change our minds with time. If she trusted you with her kid, that means you’re a good guy in her eyes. Just keep moving forward. She left you, you really need to work on yourself and don’t allow her to treat you like that anymore. When you starting to respect yourself and create boundaries, she definitely will see you different and will get more attractive to you. Trust me. You deserve the best. Good luck 🍀.
Hi Lauren...so u are the Dumper u broke up with your bf but u wanted him to break No contact ? But Dumpee are taught Not to Break No contact. So will you give your bf a 3rd chance if he broke the rule of No contact and reach out to you and if there is another big fight will you break up with him again ?
Good morning Coach! Thank you thank you for all your videos. Would you please give us one about No Contact with kids/baby in between... separate from wife. She is avoiding me about things with the baby only, took the baby and I'm trying to manage no contact. But we have a baby, who obviously I wanna see
Curious if I should do no contact. We've been on speaking terms since the break up and never truly fell out we both had a little wobble at times. I still have those feelings for her and im unsure if I should just take the steps to get over and move on. She tells me we can't be together and that she can only offer me friendship.
I don’t know what to do.. I broke up with him, blocked him, didn’t contact him.. I started to want him to realize how much he hurt me. He never said anything only to him aunt that he wasn’t going to look for me again because I did the breaking up. A few days ago I forwarded a message for a job without writing anything. He responded with “I’ll try to get in contact with them.” Not even a thank you. What should I do? 😖 I miss him dearly, was this his way of reaching out?
@@fj4731 that was a while ago, I went back but he was just as much a jerk as ever. He never loved me, never once cared about my feelings. I actually broke it off with him yesterday, I never want him back again.. Thanks for your concern
@@fj4731 I can’t understand your first sentences. He didn’t change after the breakup.. I broke my heart too much trying to love someone that never loved me, I tried my best to love his wounds to no avail.. I no longer want to break my heart.. Thank you for your reply ☺️
She reached out to me about playing Fortnite. She is in a relationship with another guy. The guy she gave me all the crap about me fixing myself if I don’t want to lose her. I am so confused by this. I blocked her. But then unblocked her to gain clarity. She just wants to play the game with me once in awhile. I don’t see how that will help. I feel like I’m the 3rd person. I don’t know what to do
Over 4 months of no contact, then he called me on day 138...that`s now over two weeks ago. He wanted to hear from me again and i said, ok if that is what you want. now I don't now what that was all about. Yesterday would have been our 2 Year anniversary...no fun times here.
I actually broke no contact just now after 30 days. I've added my ex in Facebook and as usual she blocked me. She's an avoidant and I think she's on the highest maximum level. Does no contact will still work knowing that she's on the highest level avoidant?
I broke no contact after doing everything perfect till now, haven’t begged or pleaded on the day of the breakup, but today, almost a month after, was the first time I broke, it has been a rough couple of days, and I had to call her. I called her and told her everything, how bad I miss her and everything, she told me it was a surprise to her, and she is happy to hear from me, but still thinks she want the breakup, I really think I ruined my chances. I have to start no contact all over again. Guess this time the outcome might not be getting back together, but at least heal
Love your videos! My ex left August 2020 after 12 years. We have two children together (ages 2 and 5). Two weeks ago I resolved to move on, and have been diligently doing NC on my part. BUT.. when he wants to chat with and see the kids, some contact is unavoidable. I try to keep it short and business-like, but he tries to prolong our interaction. He's hanging on loosely but won't let go. My gut says he doesn't love me romantically nor want me back- he wants me Just In Case. I need to get over him. It's excruciating pain (but I don't show it to him). Any advice ? 🙏 thanks
Don't break no contact guys. I did it after 3 months and he replied and then i made the mistake and told him i miss you and he didn't answer. I and i the sheep i am wrote him that i am sorry that i wrote i miss you and that i didn't want to scare him off noe he doesn't even visit the chat to avoid me. Feels like breaking up a second time again don't do it
I know of a relationship except who can help you bring your broken relationship within 48hrs he is from Texas and he help me and my lover get back after many years of separation..
I was in NC for about 120 days but I broke it due to some insurance paperwork arriving to my address. I wanted to be a good person and let him know about it but now I’m afraid that I’ve messed up my chances by doing so..
@@Redouku thank you for your input. I left the paperwork outside for him to pick up. Our text exchange was strictly about that and nothing more. I deleted the text message thread right after and haven’t contacted him since :)
I feel guilt and ashamed I broke no contact but I did not want him back. I had no feelings for him thats why I said hi to him but he said to me "stop contacting me" anymore. then I realized I should not have done that.
@@kylemaslyn Thank you. Just the other day I caught myself thinking...its been about 8 months. Within minutes, the tears came. Its hard, but we have to stop looking at the calender. 😔
I had a dream I butt dialed mine last night, they answered and I hung up. Then they texted me asking why I hung up and to never contact them again. First time dreaming about her after a month of NC. Woke up stressed lol
Is it broken if she reaches out with an indirect direct. Six weeks later I shouldn’t of said she deserves to get her needs met and to call me if she ever changes her mind
Is it ok that I broke contact twice? I’m afraid I messed this up. We broke up Aug 30, I waited a week, I broke contact called and when they didn’t answer I showed up at the house. That was a bust. So did no contact again and after 21 days I broke contact again and blew up Facebook messenger. I sounded desperate. Did I ruin this? Or do I still have a chance? Will I still be missed and loved? Did I ruin the grieving process?!
What if we ended things in March, late April I reached out we had a closure discussion (he didn't want to do long distance but I had already planned on moving to where he lives prior to meeting him lol) and then we didn't speak for 5 months and one Saturday night he reached out and apologized??? I responded and we haven't spoken since. I won't initiate anything.
Hey i broke no contact after 3 and half months .. i just gave a call and didnot pick it up and texted her saying call me .. that’s it and … will this impact much .. as it was just a casual msg and ddnt show any neediness or anxiety … let me ur thoughts
It’s hard to do no contact when you pregnant with their child and about o give birth idk how that works he broke up and in a rebound he says he isn’t happy with the person I reach out to give him updates on the baby that’s all
Regarding contacting an ex just before a call with you, I assume part of it is because having a call with you is a big reminder of their ex, and as the date approaches, the presence of their ex grows in their consciousness, and with it - anxiety.
4 months nc, not a word. In a better place but miss her still. She looks pretty sad from a pic her friend posted of her but hard to tell. I wonder whether i should reach or just let by gones be by gones. I’m good either way now if i hear from her or not
I've broken no contact a few times and didn't receive an answer. Worried I messed up. Im going to be firm this time and work on myself. Do you think I still have a chance at reconciliation?
@@thebeard6334 no I sent her message literally just happy birthday on her last bday and my bday is 2 months after and she did the same for me wishing happy birthday but she wouldn't have done it only i wished her one 2 months prior you know. She is at university and said maybe after university we can try again but i think she said that to lighten the blow. I guess time will tell
I split with mine 9mth again, a couple months back we messaged a few times and she told me she still loves and misses me but we can't be together due to the arguments it wud cause with her parents as they wasn't very keen on me and have always wanted her back with her other ex whom she hates but her parents have bullied and given ultimatums and eventually over our 18mths together broke her defenses and she gave in and chose her parents over the relationship and happiness. Since, she been depressive and emotionless to an extent. I love my queen with all my heart and I do truly believe we will be together its just waiting until it happens but in not sitting around mooing and crying or begging for it to happen right away I'm working, I go to the gym now, I go out socially and I basically carry on with life as I would normally, when she comes back (which she will 100%) then we will celebrate and be happy together and live our lives how we want to and shud have been doing so...
Went NC after my ex wife, who I’ve been divorced for 20 years, but we’ve stayed “friendly” and the I’ve spent a lot of time together from March-June, said she wanted to be just friends and I told her I wasn’t interested. She texted me after 9 days asking if I wasn’t talking to her? I told her I would love to see her and talk to her, but I wasn’t interested in being just friends with her going forward. She said that’s all “she had to offer and I guess we won’t be friends, bye.” NC other than that text exchange since 7/26…I guess I’m screwed!
My ex broke NC after 5 months. We talked for a bit then nothing for 3 weeks. I wrote him a message and he then asked me to visit him. He cooked for me and I've spent the night. Now he ghosted me for 3 weeks. Hm
It seems like he’s really confused or wanted to use you for your companionship. Ghosting for three weeks is never acceptable in any circumstances. You deserve better than this!!
Agreed....he needed to have worked for that and prove his emotions to u instead he's shown what he truly wanted and that was to sleep with u and as he has got what he wanted he's ghosted u and will until he wants his sack emptying again unless he has found someone else otherwise u probably won't hear from him again.....make them work for it, let them show u u DO mean something to them. If u don't give 'it' to whoever and u don't hear from them then move on as they aren't worth wasting ur emotions or time on them unless its a 'friend with benefits ' that u are wanting also.......
My last girlfriend. Didn't contact me ever again, even after NC. My new girlfriend broke up with her ex.... she said she never heard from him again. As he seemingly went no contact. Well over two years has passed. Just depends where you find yourself in the game. Sure, old chick broke my heart but I found someone better. Waaaaaaay better. They're "exes" for a reason.
The last time I messaged my ex girlfriend, I was told to move on and to stop wasting my time messaging her, which I did! This was 4 months ago and I went into full no contact. Yesterday I was walking back from the store and I saw my ex on the other side of the street, so I stopped and initiated contact and we spoke for around 10-15 minutes, it was a bit strange as we hadn’t spoken at all in person for months. I then got home and sent her a text saying ‘was good to chat earlier, your looking well’ Should I have done this as she never replied and I feel stupid now, I was only being friendly and acknowledging the fact we had spoken?!
My ex broke up with me 3 weeks ago. He had moved to my appartment 9 months before and he left plenty of his stuff here. We haven't spoken since then, and I want to do no contact. The thing is, if we have a pending meeting for him to take his things, is it still no contact? Should I text him to pick his stuff and THEN do no contact? Or, the other way around, woul that be breaking no contact?
What if I have her things? Broken no contact after 5 days. I need to get them out of my place to move on. Have a round about day to meet but haven’t solidified anything. What do I do next? Thanks
Me too Evie 😔 I wasn’t even reaching out daily. My last reach out was me thanking him for something he did for my son via text. All I said was thank you. He responded, “please stop texting me.” 😢😩😩
Me too Evie 😔 I wasn’t even reaching out daily. My last reach out was me thanking him for something he did for my son via text. All I said was thank you. He responded, “please stop texting me.” 😢😩😩
Hello coach Today was my 36 days of nc but I broke it and send an apology text to ex bf , I said.. "I apologize for all the disrespectful words and things I ever said to you . I was very toxic and pushy I pushed you to do things you're not comfortable with. I forced myself on you . This is not love , this is sickness I gave you anxiety and stress instead of peace ,comfort and love . You were so kind , gentle, caring and loving boyfriend. I wish you all the peace and love in your life and I hope you will find the woman who can appreciate you. And thank you for all the memories. " And he answered me an hour later (which was very good) "Don't blame yourself it's ok I. Apoligise for everything too thanks for good memories" I don't know what to do next 😞
