Since I've Been Gone...(Reacting To Recent Pop Culture Events) 

I work with women and children fleeing domestic violence. I have heard too many times women say their partner (the abuser) was always extremely charming around other people and when women came out saying they were abused, nobody believed them because of that. I wonder if Diddy was like that.

I’m dark. If a guy does not like me because I’m dark, I never take that on as my problem or my fault. I don’t understand that line of thinking.

I've missed your content! Nice to see you back

Parasocial relationships are interesting. We really don’t know *any* celebrity.

I left a comment on your last video last night saying I was looking forward to seeing notifications from you again and bam! I’m so excited!❤💃🏿

I had a friend whose father was the life of the party. All the fathers in the neighbor were friends with him. He was great to all the kids. We had sleep overs at his house. They took us on trips to the mall and was the coach of various sports. Her mom was quiet and a bit withdrawn, she was outgoing and her brother was wild. We knew those ppl for years. Then one day the police turned up at the house and arrested him and family were taken to the hospital. Turns out he was violently abusing them in every way and the brother finally called the police cause he would have killed his wife. We were all shocked and started thinking back to every interaction we had with them to see if there were signs we missed. There was nothing that would have raised flags at the time and some ppl didn’t believe until all the evidence was revealed. I say all this to say. Holding ppl culpable for a monsters behavior without any proof that they knew is dangerous. The ppl in her life that were around that didn’t know are already feeling like they failed her by not reading the signs that something was wrong.

I think what people don't get about the Simone situation, but Stephco gets right, is we can NEVER push a person out of loving who they love. They will leave when they are ready, which may be never, and all the heat, if anything, will now make her feel she HAS to stay with him to 'prove everyone wrong'. We're turning this into a part of her pride to STAY, and Simone is clearly a dedicated, driven person who pushes herself. I don't want her to feel like it's her and that lame guy against the world.

There’s no D good enough…on this planet to allow me to denounce I’m Simon effing Biles and my accomplishments. Nope. Absolutely not!

How do we know what’s going on in Bey’s marriage. She could be going through the same for all we know. There could be other reasons she isn’t talking.

Most abusers pick their points and times of abuse. Seldom do they commit such acts in front of people they want to respect them. They do in fact go out of their way to treat the person they're abusing extremely well in public and in the presence of people they want to impress. That is how they get away with it for so long. They are very strategic and cunning.

My biggest problem with the Beyonce discourse is there was an entire team of ppl protecting Diddy including the doctors that treated these women after the abuse who vowed to do no harm. There were assistants, security guards, cooks, cleaners and workers, friends and family of all sorts who were there. Who booked the flights so she can go on vacation to recover. Who called the doctor and so on but we don’t know their names so we jump to accusing Beyonce? Because her husband was friends with Diddy but not Alicia Keys who’s husband was friends with Diddy , not Kim k who was married to Kanye when he was friends with Diddy, not Savannah James, not Nicki Minaj who was friends with Diddy and worked with Cassie. But Beyonce because she’s the biggest name and ppl are using a DV situation as a way to drag Beyonce instead of condemning that vile evil man.

Could not agree more! People not speaking up when they see and know abuse is happening is diabolical. They are enabling and supporting evil, they are allowing the abuse.

Maybe Clay rejected AD because of his own dark skin (ie. self hatred)

In regards to Clay, Steph, i appreciate the fact that you like to give others the benefit of the doubt, but.... When it comes to ppl like Clay, we just have to see it for what it is 😂. Yes, it's not always colorism, but sometimes that's EXACTLY what it is like I've seen men I've once dealt with turn h0es into housewives. Well tried, only to get burned in the end. They didn't see value in me but saw value in the women who were either willing to put out or had a particular look that they gravitated towards. Nvm their reputation, their lack of education, the fact that some were jobless/broke etc etc. So, in Clay's case, it was just obvious to many of us. I no longer subscribe to being in denial anymore 😂😂

Birds of a feather flock together. This is not cliché.

I don't agree with a lot that you say but I LOOOOVE your nuanced approach to difficult topics. Dont leave us for so long again man 😢

Steph posted....I repeat Steph posted. My day is made 🎉🎉😊😊😂😂

The reason people said he didnt like her because she was dark skinned is because ALL his exes are white or extremely light

Regarding Clay, I think he probably sleep with her but I believe both of them were in agreement to fake a “relationship”. We’ve all moved on from LIB and his 15 seconds of fame is over. He played into “black women outrage” knowing he has been accused of colorism and him popping up with such a woman like her will go viral. Best thing we could have done was ignore him

I don't think Beyonce cares about anyones house but her own. Glad to see you back.

We all need to stop stanning Clay's mom. She indulged that man child. Merely saying something is not okay is not sufficient if you stay and continue to provide support. Clay's mom can say some very eloquent burns, but at the end of the day, her behavior shows the truth, in exactly the same way her son could say the right things but his behavior shows his true character

There's no way of knowing that people (Beyonce) knew anything about what Diddy was doing to Cassie. Abusers know how to hide their behavior. Also, whose to say that those women who are getting shunned for not saying anything, are not in their own abusive relationship or under some type of control.

14:40 " a stab in a the chest" 🤣😂🙄 girl you are toi invested in those celebrities. Even you defending Clay was doing too much. Watch LiB kekeke and do your content on them and move on...like what?? You didn't want to believe that Clay didn't find AD attractive... and now you're hurt...My god...AD was soft, sweet, féminine and he still disrespected on the internet...like 🤢

Jeremy Owens, Jimothy Owens, James Owens!!😂😂😭😭😭😭😭

OMG i was wondering where you've been 😮 it's really nice to see a new upload from you

Girrrl! Glad you’re back, I’ve been looking checking for you ❤️

I know you didn’t mean it in this way, but colorism isn’t AD or any black women’s fault. They’re victims of it. And while it is exhausting that so much of what we have access to and why we are given things is due to privilege, class, racism, colorism, pretty privilege unfortunately it’s 100% true. If these forces weren’t extremely prevalent then society would look a lot different. So, yes most of the time that is the answer. It totally sucks that so little of where we end up or who chooses us is due to meritocracy, but it’s very true

First off… ma’am … you look goodt!! Incredible! 2ndly so glad to see you on my phone ☺️☺️☺️😍😍😍

4:32 Beyoncé.....🤨🙄😤 I mean the level of idolatry that you bestowed for a reg human that sings and dance well is completely irrational. Love Beyoncé, went to Renaissance but she is a flawed human just like you and I. It has been said that: There's no friends in show business. Taking a few pic here and there and going to an annual brunch doesn't mean they are close like that. Puffy wasn't at their wedding, or the godfather of Blue. Did they vacation together ? This idea that celeb are all kombaya friends...it's business and make belief. I don't even think that Beyoncé and KELLY are even that close of a friend. I really Blue with Kelly or Kelly's kid with Beyoncé. Yes they know each for 30yrs but it doesn't guarantee deep connection. Tina Turner have said that most DID NOT know what was happening behind close door. Those predators know how to be charming and manipulative and i am sure that some a genuinely surprised BECAUSE Puffy is "such a nice guy" Just like Ted Bundy. If anything it's Cassie immediate circle who could be "blame" but the victim has to build the courage to leave for themselves and WITH the support of their circle. What could Beyoncé have done? Did Beyoncé REALLY knew Puffy like that?

You might need to edit the part about Beyonce, as another commenter mentioned - Cassie mentioned Beyonce intervening and standing up for her during an incident she saw. To also note, bystanders can report what they see to the police but in some cases, if the victim is unwilling to cooperate, they can't take it further. Also, this was Cassie's story to tell, not anyone else's. If you are going to continue to do commentary, please do more research on your topics. It would separate you from other channels and you'd be able to give a more nuanced and accurate view.

I don't think it's fair to say this about Beyonce. You have no idea what was said or done. This is the same as putting her on a god-like level as if she's all seeing, all knowing when she is just a person like you and I. This magnifies your unhealthy attachment to parasocial relationships. DV is very complicated. People extend their help. Victims often stay with their abusers and there's alot of pretending by both parties.

Man what?! You’re all over the place at this point. You have no idea if Beyoncé had any idea about the goings on in someone else’s household. This has nothing to do smfh Beyonce’. So illogical

Theme of this video: You give him the benefit of the doubt and protect him publicly, he will then f you over and embarrass you publicly. They always do and they always will.

I was looking for stephco....like GURLLL....DO YOU SEE WHATS HAPPENING 😂

Black women judging other black women. Like you just dragged beyonce into Puffy's issues

Abusers will strategically act one way in front of some people and another infront of others. I don't think it's fair so ASSUME Beyonce knew until we know. It was listed in the lawsuit nor has cassie hasn't said anything. You would be surprised how many people know and are connected to horrible people and not know.

Tbh my biggest shock is Cassie's family, she was 19 when she met him, strangers may not be able to tell the abuse is happening, but her family should know.

So we are now assuming Beyonce knew about everything Diddy was doing and she is wrong for not exposing it? This is a pretty presumptious and wild take. Being photographed with Diddy doesn’t mean you know everything about what he does behind closed doors. I think you may have bought into too much of the stories of Jaguar Wright. She is a clout chaser who is getting far too much attention.

Wasn’t Beyoncé mentioned in the lawsuit about speaking out to her husband about Diddy’s behavior at an event?

29:42 somethin' about people tryin'a change how their partner dresses (excluding problematic outfits) doesn't sit right with me not sure how much of it is my own issues or flags, though 🤷🏿‍♂

Steph did you miss your calling as a PR rep for celebrities 🤔 cause you'd be great at damage control. A lot of times celebrities put their foot in their mouths, because they're human. But they are also in the spotlight so they need to know how to handle themselves accordingly

We should all start questioning Beyonce more lol

Hey Steph! That video triggered me. I knew better than to watch that video smh. I cried my eyes out. He's not sorry. I pray they put him under the jail for all he's done. I hope he doesn't get away with anything else.

I normally love all your videos, but I think it’s a little unfair to put all that responsibility on Beyoncé. Beyoncé doesn’t have a pot to piss in in that situation and just because your friends may not be the best of people doesn’t mean you knew what was going on in their home.

the black wife affect is so much bigger then hair cuts and fashion..its a whole vibe!

Yes on the Jay Z and Puffy thing. Yes, abusers can put on a mask for people, but with all the information that has come out about Puffy, it seems his 'habits' and 'parties' were actually very well-known amongst the black entertainment industry. To the point where some would even advise others to turn him down if they were invited to his events. Generally, yes, you can have an abuser who is hiding their behavior, where family and friends know nothing, but I don't think Puffys case suits that narrative. They knew, it just wasn't their problem.

Pointing out why some Black men aren’t attracted to dark skin Black women isn’t the responsibility of the woman, it’s pointing out how white supremacy affects any and everything including desirability politics.

There are rumours that he has recordings of certain celebrities in compromising situations. Something Diddy and men like him figured out very early on is that young people are ambitious, desperate, naive and easy to manipulate, they tend to act first and think later. He has known a lot of these celebrities since their youth, who is to say he does not have footage that they would rather not be made public. I think that is part of the reason why so many celebrities have remained silent.

I think that it's unfair to judge Beyonce through those lens. Yes Puff Daddy/diddy is friends with Beyonce and Jay Z but no one knows the level of the friendship, the closeness of the friendship or even if there was an actual friendship or if they are mere acquaintances. No one knows if Beyonce was even privy to the ins and outs of the relationship between Diddy and Cassie. Beyonce wasn't necessarily a fly on the wall. No one even knows if she even had any interaction with Cassie or saw glimpses into their relationship. As someone who was blindsided when I found out the truth of a relationship between a supposed close friend of mine and his treatment towards his girlfriend, you simply can't judge what Beyonce may or may not have known. You don't know anything for certain. Things can be hidden. Men especially know how to hide their true behavior from their friends and even family. I don't think it's anyone's place to judge Beyonce or even involve her in this situation. Let's keep the blame where it rightfully and justly belongs and that's on P Diddy.

per Diddy especially in NY the rumors about his behavior were well spread however it is known that abusers dont act out in front of people they can gain something from. Diddy needed and wanted the social capital so he kept himself in good graces and best behavior in front of them more than likely

The Black Wife effect feels like a light-hearted version of black women building up a man. Not my favorite trend.

I actually wish Beyonce had spoken up on Palestine, but shes a capitalist so understand why she didn't. On the Diddy thing I'm not sure I agree with admonishing the wife for the husbands choices, Abusive men can be great at covering up / being charming. Jay and Diddy aren't in business and we assume a depth to the relationship from pictures/interviews but so much of celebrity is a farce or positioning.

The sad thing is there are men every where like Puffy.

But you are already judging and you dont know what they know.

The Clay situation is a good example of how valuable BW’s rage and pain is to non-BW. The challenge to the collective of BG&W is how to keep and transmute the anger to benefit themselves.

I love the braids, Steph. I know my comment is off-topic, but every time I watch Steph's videos I think to myself, she is so likeable, pretty, very smart, funny and seems to have a pretty chill attitude, like not too strong of an attitude but not a pushover either and finally she has a good sense of humor (from what I can tell) and so I don't get why a good man hasn't snatched her up yet 🤔. I really think that dating app and social media has really made it so much harder for men to want to commit (women too) because they have so many options and even the men that aren't the best looking can easily get "some" if he has a lil money and it really sucks. I truly hope I'm not out of line for saying this but during each video I think about it and so I finally decided to put my thoughts out there. I hope God has a plan for her life that we, or she just can't see playing out yet and that it ends up being way better than she imagined for herself. I believe she is a good woman and deserves to have a good man to go through life with while they grow old ❤

OF COURSE they're friends with them! When the money is flowing all is good!!! That's why all of those associated with him are quiet.

I have no problem with Beyoncé not speaking out on any issues, because she doesn’t really speak on anything. Which kinda makes her unrelatable tbh. I understand she’s private though. There’s just something by off about Jay Z, I mean she met the man at 18 and they started dating at 19…he was 30. How is that not grooming. Also, his association with diddy..

Beyonce does not owe us a public mention on Cassie and may have reached out to her privately. She may well be getting her ass beat too (who knows). Plus Cassie also knows of women who are being abused....she has said nothing. I understand about the friendship of husbands/families. This is all optics. No friendship here... just business. Optics

Including Beyonce in Diddy/Cassie's situation is unhinged and problematic.

Ya'll want Beyonce to be everybody's savior SMFH. You cannot expect someone to do for someone what they won't do for themselves.

People would not pass a chance to talk down and drag black women, especially black men, and a lot of black women do the same to other black women and siding with black men.

You don’t know how well Diddy may have hid the things he was doing. really weird statement about Beyoncé

If you read Cassie’s law suite. You would see that Beyonce saw something at a party, and Beyoncé checked him and removed Cassie from the situation. She then left the party and told J that she is not dealing with him as a friend anymore. And Beyonce ended up her friendship with Diddy. Cassie outlined this in her lawsuit. She also said Beyonce checked on her days and weeks later. Yall please read and research before making commentary. Beyoncé and Diddy are not friends because of Cassie.

For the spouse of a friend of an abuser (Beyonce and others), you know how charismatic and fun loving abusers are. There are those who are awful behind closed doors and in front of the public, family, friends. But there are others who keep everything negative behind closed doors and only around those who have no power. Don't know which kind of abuser Diddy was but I can't blame anyone for his actions but him. As someone who has called out the abuser if front of the friend/family member who was being hurt, I can promise you, all it does is isolate the victim because they choose their abuser many times before they are ready to leave. Offer help in quiet and hope they find the strength to escape.

Diddy is despicable, but i think its unfair to assume that Beyonce knew what was going on. People are abused and their own family members don't know its happening even with seeing them all the time. Lets see what she and Jay-Z do now that the cat is out the bag. If they continue to associate with him them your statements will be justified I agree with you on Simone Biles' husband

0:10 YES!!!🎯🎯🎯 You don't owe us any explanation on your personal life. I was wondering about you but very glad to see you back.

I disagree with a few of these takes. 1. I had a friend who I thought was married to the perfect man. He was so amazing I often compared other men I knew to him. Then a few years ago he beat her badly and she posted about it on social media. It was so jarring that I actually reached out to make sure it was real. So I don't think people (especially the wives of his friends) would have automatically known that Diddy was abusing the women in his life. 2. Clay was a fuck boi from the beginning. And I think people gave him a pass because he's a black man and they found him attractive. But he was awful from the pods. And if the show picked him because he was damaged goods then doesn't that hold true for AD too? 🤔 They both were a mess and not partner material. 3. Jonathan Owens didn't embarrass Simone Biles. She was fine with what he said. It's the internet that was offended because folks are putting his attitude and behavior into the body of men who have done them wrong. They are happy. She is happy. But folks keep this alive because they want an apology from their ex.

Not sure why Beyonce was the focus or why she immediately came to mind? But I get it. I wish your commentary mostly focused on Diddy.

Beyonce has always been Beyonce. Discernment is important. These ppl are not who we perceive them to be.

Missed ya♥️ and yea I have questions about a lot of these celebs re the extent of their knowledge on the abuse. Celebs even like Beyoncé. I still listen to her music but I look at her different too

Looool ring the alarm, let Cassie out of here

For Beyonce: if you're playing your film in the country that is committing a genocide right next door, it is saying something. That isn't staying silent at all. Either way, this version of "staying silent" isn't going to age well. It requires no expertise to see it's wrong, so that excuse is just that, an excuse.

Good to see you, as always 😊 Love this lighting - your skin is soo clear

Beyonce is a victim of Jay Z too though. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she couldn’t help Cassie either

There are too many collaborators, co-conspirators & enablers for a person to get away this long with things this egragious. When "good ppl" say nothing evil prospers. 😢

The braids look good on you ❤️

Ive been wanting to say for a while that growing up with beyone she had a place in my heart but as I grew into a woman i started to realize she is so manufactured and unethentic and all the girl power is just a show and she doesnt actually stand for anything. So its not suprising that she would be silent when women are abused. Cancel celebrity culture.

Also. I don't believe calling out the real was putting it on AD, his problem with her physical appearance is HIS problem, not hers. It was simply a deduction from the presented evidence, for me at least. I can't speak for the emotional responses, only the logical and reasonable ones.

I have minimally imposed the "blk wife effect" on my boyfriend just by asking innocently if he could grow a beard(because i like them), now he gets compliments and just from us being together (which means shopping) he asks for my opinion. I didn't have a mission to switch up his whole ascthetic. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Different people enter your life and give you a new perspective even on how we present ourselves. As always... super on point. I totally agree with all your takes on the video topics. 😊

Lol you're right, it's not always colorism, but he displayed and said things that told us thats what it really was, coupled with him not being ready, which he knew, before he ever came on the show. Two things can be true at once, but I respect your assessment, understanding that ppl cry wolf sometimes. However, given his latest antics.... He proved all our points sis.

The reason why you probably don’t like the concept of “throw him away” @26:00 when it comes to Simon Biles is probably because men are human too. Idk why men and women treat each other like they’re *disposable objects*. I mean, I understand the fear of being hurt, needing to protect oneself so having all your walls up and needing to hold on that “quick detachment” mentality if you’re not actively working on your emotional development. But, we just need to start reminding each other openly that regardless of our gender/sex, we’re human and we’re all in different stages of our development when we meet each other which means that people will make emotional and/or intellectual mistakes that cause pain. Like, Simon Biles’ partner. And if those two don’t see it as a mistake, that’s their journey. Obviously, lines need to be drawn if someone got stuck somewhere along their journey to the point where they are so ill that they are causing physical damage or severe emotional damage.

Value your opinion. However, I'm growing sick and tired of people dragging Beyoncé into everybody else's bad behavior. You could be a celebrity and take a photo with somebody and not know what is going on behind closed doors. It happens all the time with just regular people. You don't know what folks are going through. And if you're just at a party and not sitting there, having heart heart talks with diddy or Cassie or whom ever else. How is she supposed to know now? Jay-Z is diddy's friend. I would believe that he would know that there was some stuff going on behind the scenes. Leave Bey out of this. If Jay wants to say something about his pal, that's on him.

STEPH! I was thinking about you ALL week. I was like I hope my good sis is doing well❤

THANK YOU for saying that about Bey and Jay regarding questioning being with someone in business with Puffy. I also wondered that too. She had to have known. Jay had to have known. EVERYONE had to have known. Just like R.Kelly. Folks knew and allowed it happened. Show business is just evil. Just absolutely evil.

Loved the commentary today..

Like what is the basis that jay z and p diddy are close friends? What is the basis that they are business partners? I think y’all are being trolled by 50 cent. I have followed hip hop for a long time. I never heard jay z and p diddy were these close friends until this stuff started kicking up about p diddy. Then it was like where’s jay z? And I’m like where is this connection coming from? The only one I can think of is 50 cent. 50 cent been taking shots at and being completely ignored by jayz for many years. Like to me Jay z is far more aligned with Kanye. And I don’t think he talks to him at all now. But p diddy? I don’t get it. They take a few photos together, attend the same celeb events, and parties and that means they are best friends and Cassie is being beaten right in front of jay z. That’s a crazy assumption. I am surprised this content creator is making that leap. Not saying jayz didn’t know. I have no idea.

I MISSED YOUUUUUU Watching from 🇵🇹

Yay glad to see your uploads! Commenting super early into the video, but I’m glad people are starting to finally see celebrities like Beyoncé and Jay Z for who they are, rather than who they pretend to be. You are your friends/associates/business partners. The entertainment industry is full of vicious, soulless monsters who are all complicit and enable each other’s horrific behavior.the biggest stars in the world just happen to have enough money and resources to cover their tracks.

IM GLAD YALL FINALLY SEEING BEYONCE FOR WHO SHE IS....took yall long enough.....instead ignoring it and calling everyone haters who made these critiques years ago....WELCOME TO CRITICAL THINKING YALL... we welcome you with open arms.

Simmon is desperate for a pretty boy like keke was and so we need to leave her alone

I don’t even know who Beyoncé‘s friends are let alone associates in the industry.

The Beyoncé comment is so weird. That’s her HUSBAND! What is she supposed to do? Divorce him because he’s friends with puff for over 30 yrs? Please 🙄

It does not matter if you know someone is being abused in a domestic partnership, if they are not ready to leave or press charges there is nothing ANYONE (including police) can do to help them. Intervening in domestic disputes is the most dangerous response call for police officers. Please read and look into the psychology of these relationships instead of blaming others for not intervening. People who work in social work/case management will also tell you this. Unless Cassie comes out and says she asked specifically for someone’s help, there was nothing anyone else could have done. Glorifying celebrities creates megalomaniacs with god complexes and gives them enough money to behave that way. Daddy had the reputation before he met Cassie and that wasn’t enough to keep her away from him, nor did it keep the other young Black woman he’s currently “dating” him away from him! What do you think she went through for the past few years before he fled? Wasn’t she listed as part of a prostitution ring in the federal charges? This man is a predator, plain and simple. I don’t agree with blaming/shaming Beyoncé/JayZ for perceived involvement because of what you assume they knew. Hollywood is not glamorous, and too much of popular Black culture is a negative image.

I wish people would leave Simone Biles alone. They’re harassing her, as a result of HIS actions. She’s becoming a ‘villain’ simply because she’s not doing what the internet wants her to do. Long before this man did an interview, women were scrutinizing her because of her hair and looks - IMO, a lot of these women doubt he truly loves her because of how THEY perceive her aesthetic. Be clear, the comments he made were completely out of order, BUT it seems some ppl are using those comments as a mask to express their true opinion of her.

Clay noooooooooooo. Lol. Steph, you’re glowing!

Mary called Diddy her brother for years but has not said a word.

I've always thought there was something a bit off about Beyonce. I feel like she had no issue capitalising off being "acceptably" Black until she reaslied that people weren't really going for that anymore. She went from playing the conservative Christian role to supporting trans woman and gay men's rights because I feel like that's what the public wanted from her. I might be wrong but it feels like playing for the audience.

Missed you girl !!!!!! Glad you’re back

Been missing you happy to see you back. And yeah I love no explanation!!! Happy to have you ❤❤❤ edit sweety beyonce sounds better live. But she needs to get some better co-writers in to take her music to Mariah Carey and Sia anthem level. She makes good points but her music sounds so rush rushed and not well rounded. Brown skin girl is such an important athem but any of us could have written the half baked music :/