Spiritual Psychosis: My Personal Experience 

DISCLAIMER! It is DEFINITELY not my intention to shame the entire Otherkin community with this video. I am only sharing my experience with one specific Otherkin individual that was in deep spiritual psychosis. That‘s it. I‘m not saying all Otherkin people are crazy, I‘m not saying all Otherkin people are in spiritual psychosis. This is about ONE individual from my past.

huge trigger warning for everything im about to say! So my friend from university was always a very spiritual person and her mental health has always been an issue and her family/life history were as messy as you can imagine. She developed a drug habit with a lot of ayahuasca etc. Slowly she ended up cutting everyone out of her life and she documented lots of things that happened on her instagram with many followers. By the end her stories got extremely concerning as she thought she was a mystical goddess Kali Ma and that she was meant to die. She killer her cat and posted photos of it on her story, then proceeded to turn on the gas stove. she expected it to kill her alone but when she realised it didnt she thought she was immortal. unfortunately she then tried lighting a cigarette and died instantly when the explosion took place. luckily nobody else got hurt as her building was evacuated when the gas was smelled by her neighbours. She was an INCREDIBLE person before the psychosis took over her life and not a week goes by that I do not think about her. Reach out if you have any questions about her story, it is well documented if you know where to look.

It is very important to talk about mental health. I am a tracher in Argentina and one of my former students took part in an ayahuasca ceremony. He suffered from a psychotic episode because of that and he had to be institutionalised. He began "seeing" the devil and hearing voices. It has been two years since that and he is still in the assylum. Doctors think he had a dormant schyzophrenia and the ayahuasca triggered it. Talking about this experience with others I heard of similar experiences of people ending up with serious mental problems after consuming some things to have a spiritual experience. So please please be careful with that stuff. If you really want to take ayahuasca or something similar please research well beforehand and do it under the guidance of responsible people. Not everyone who claims to be a shaman is really one. Please be safe

I'm learning that it's vital to be grounded and connected to the Divine source because this ain't no joke.

Spiritual psychosis is so scary. Warning for people reading this btw. So this is a story from my current partner's aunts. His mom is an open book so she tells me a lot of stories of how crazy her religious family was but at first i thought it was like bigots validating their beliefs with religion before i realized holy shit....this is spiritual psychosis 😅 This aunt is in so much medical debt because had to bring her son to the hospital because instead of treating an illness he had she instead used oils and over the counter medicines that didnt work, along with prayer as she believed because she was such a large follower of jesus, she had the power to heal her kids without a doctor. The kid got worse (hes fine now) but she got into a lot more trouble financially because their illness got so much worse he had to be in the hospital longer than he would have if she had brought him to the doctors sooner. She still doesnt believe in doctors, she still thinks shes a healer chosen by jesus (edit: she also believed the government was watching her, the rapture would come someday in her life and would do reckless things like this because why would you take care of yourself if the rapture is happening soon?) And yes, her kids are trying to move out as fast as possible. One other aunt literally died of cancer because she thought god would revive her. And she literally didnt treat it because she believed if she lived she was chosen by god and if she died it was gods plan for her to go to heaven. My partners mom still considers this suicide. She died because she didnt believe she needed to take care of herself bc she believed god would heal her. Spiritual psychosis can kill.

I just want to say it is SUCH a relief to know I'm not the only one who had a LARPing/spiritual psychosis phase of my spiritual path! The first 2-3 years of my path as a witch was like that and I cringe *hard* looking back on it. The people I was doing it with at that time I think are embarrassed too, we basically made a pact never to speak of it with each other again haha.

I'm so glad you finally told this story!! You have grown so much since then. I think this video will be helpful for so many people. 🖤

This is SO important. Thanks for sharing! I didn’t experience psychosis but I did spend a couple decades suffering from SEVERE undiagnosed OCD, because I took everything as a sign something awful was about to happen, and the actions I took to “prevent” the bad things just felt like spirituality and magick. I trusted anything my mentally ill brain told me instead of other people, basically. But spirituality isn’t being terrified 24/7 or having a breakdown because it’s cloudy and you can’t find a star to wish on to keep your pets and friends alive 🤪 (I’m good now.)

From a stranger's outside perspective, I would not shame or think you should be embarrassed of yourself at all. Someone who knew how to emotionally manipulate you through a vulnerability, in this case your curiosity of spirituality, took advantage of you and clearly emotionally abused you. I am so glad you were able to get out of this abusive relationship and learn the unfortunate red flags to avoid this again moving forward. It sounds like the manipulation tactics that cult leaders utilize.

Thank you for sharing. You shouldn’t blame yourself for this experience. You were doing the best you could with the info you were given at the time. ❤ I was in a similar situation, but thankfully I was able to catch myself before things got too serious.

Thanks for sharing, it was very brave of you! You did a great job explaining some of the reasons we can end up being manipulated. It’s incredibly difficult to explain to people who haven’t been in a situation like that (spiritual or not) why you ‘fell’ for it and didn’t call them out and leave. Unfortunately sometimes people who are vulnerable end up around people who take advantage of it. 💛

I’ve personally was in a relationship with a narcissist for 13 years and married to her for 3 out of the 13 years. We are now going through a divorce. Sharing your story lets me know that I’m not alone. I am so sorry that you went through that. I thank you so much for all you do. Your a wonderful person.

I thought i was god. I thought my house was a portal to heaven and hell. I thought my bf was the devil and i signed contracts with him i thought i was dead. The list goes on and on. Spiritual psychosis happened to me twice and those times were the worst times of my life. Ever since then i have completely lost my spirituality and miss it very much. The embarassment and shame from those days is overwhelming. I completely get where youre coming from and appreciate you bringing awareness.

I want to thank you for sharing this. I experienced spiritual psychosis under similar circumstances emotionally and i think it can be really embarressing to talk about in detail. I hope your realize how strong you are for telling this story. It is very healing to hear and I am sure for many others as well.

I had spiritual psychosis which started in March 2020 during lockdown. I had my first baby in June 2020 and was convinced I had found my past life and my whole families past life. I had postpartum psychosis last year 9 weeks after my 2nd daughter. I had never had any mental health issues before, but was on a spiritual path of discovery. Birth triggered a lot, and what I experienced during the postpartum psychosis episode last year was so surreal. I was aware something dark was trying to take over my energy and my senses were heightened. I practiced Reiki for self healing, and on my children, but I now believe I left myself open energetically at a very vulnerable time post birth. I know there was the physical element to my psychosis of being sleep deprived, deficient in nutrients from pregnancy, breastfeeding, dopamine inhibited in the brain etc, but something definitely tried to take over my energy field because the psychosis came out of the blue after practicing Reiki. I had to come out of it by having faith and telling whatever it was to leave, and that it wasn’t welcome. Be careful to protect your energy when playing with others worldly energies and practices! I luckily got the medical help I needed quickly. There is definitely a lot the medical side does not understand about what takes over someone’s mind and energy field when going through mental illness. That element is part of my understanding of what happened to me, and my mother’s culture is more open to it. Luckily I have her to talk to about it and she experienced a lot, but never got the medical help. Both the spiritual and medical sides are needed for recovery, and I’m just so grateful I have a holistic approach to healing 🙏🏽

You are describing a potential Cult Leader. Glad you posted this!

I really appreciate this video because it highlights to anyone interested in the metaphysical ways to stay self aware and safe in their practices. Thank you for sharing this. I know if had to have felt very vulnerable.

Don't be too hard on yourself ! Many more people than you think have been through this (spiritually or not). Some do not have the strength to realize it. the lack of self-esteem creates this need for validation and acceptance but also this admiration of people with a lot of self-confidence because we would simply like to be like them ! We trust blindly because these people become our only pillars, they bring us what we think we need. He simply took advantage of this period during which you were vulnerable to manipulate you, completely toxic. Kniw that you are not alone and that it is very brave of you to have shared this complicated phase for you. You have nothing to reproach yourself for and you are not alone !❤️ I also have a question, how today, after having experienced this spiritual psychosis, do you manage to validate your spiritual experiences? (Spirit communication, astral projections, spirit flight...) What elements allow you to validate/verify your experiences?

Whoa! Princess and dragon archetype! Thank goodness you were able to be your own dragon slayer and shared your experience!

I am so proud of you talking about this. And I am so so happy this lays in the past

Thank you for talking so openly about this. I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and had more than one psychosis over the course of several years. Thanks to good meds, psychotherapy and my spiritual activities, the last psychosis I had was over 15 years ago and I hope it will be the last. While like you I would recommend for anyone with a psychosis to seek professional help as soon as possible, I think it can be quite difficult to find a therapist who is open to discussing real spiritual experiences and not dismiss them as for instance halluzinations or other forms of delusions. (But I know, it's a tricky topic and may be hard to discern, if it's real, for instance an unverified personal gnosis or a symptom of a psychosis.) And in general, it can be hard to find a therapist, at least in Germany there are long waiting lists. I read about transpersonal psychology (sometimes also called spiritual psychology), which seems to be more open to work through spiritual psychoses, but in Germany there are not many therapists who specialize in that, I guess maybe more in other countries. And here are some book recommendations, in case someone here is interested in reading about the topic. "Breaking Open: Finding a Way Through Spiritual Emergency", edited by Jules Evans and Tim Read. This book contains first-hand accounts of several people who went through a spiritual crisis and awaking and how they managed to get through all of this. "Am I bipolar or waking up?" by Sean Blackwell where the author also talks about mental illness, a spiritual crisis and how he found a way out of it. I haven't read this one so far, but want to: "In Case of Spiritual Emergency: Moving Successfully Through Your Awakening" by Catherine G. Lucas, who is the founder of the UK spiritual crisis network.

It takes courage to share our personal experiences, good and bad, and to be vulnerable in that way, but I know it will help others - So thank you for sharing. It really is important to put "checks" in, both when dealing with what other people are telling you as well as spirits. Not everyone has your best interest in mind, and we don't always see messages clearly at first. Good video and topic!

Thanks for sharing this story! It seems like a lot of us spiritual people have experienced something similar. I'm no exception. But I do feel like once we get out we are better for it, even though the experience was very painful.

LARPing from what I've seen is a big thing in the "spiritual" communities like new age. I got pulled into it at one point. It was very weird and ungrounding in retrospect.

OMG this reminds me of a couple of people. One was a guy I briefly dated. We knew each other, and decided to meet up for lunch after 3 years no contact. He asks a few polite questions, but before we even get drinks he spins an elaborate tale about how we were meant to be, he's been dreaming about me for months, he's been told by his higher self in meditation he's supposed to become a guru, etc. I noped out of that situation so fast. Turns out he's one of the folks who believe we're descended from aliens 😂

Thank you 🙏🏾 I had a "friend" who I believe is slowly going into spiritual psychosis. He tried to love bomb me but I knew he was a narcissist already by observing him as a friend. He blocked me when I avoided his attempt. He also thinks he's a dragon. Be friends with these people for a very long time, most narcissists aren't playing the long game, some do, most don't, so their facade eventually cracks.

I appreciate you sharing this story so much. I think this is such an important and responsible conversation to have, especially in the spiritual community because so many who are seeking truth are vulnerable people healing from their own traumatic histories. It is so so important that we recognize the role imagination and our filters are playing in what we are creating in our minds. We need to be testing what we believe to be true by any means we can, journaling, sharing with people you trust, sharing with strangers, and taking all the feed back seriously. We must compare our perceptions with the perceptions of others to find the objective truth. I went through a period of time where I believed some really unbelievable things due to having too much confidence in my imagination. I'm humbled by this now, properly. There is are rules I follow now. For something to be true, it must be True on three or more dimensions/perspectives. Additionally, before I decide to believe something that is originated from my mind, I get confirmation from three places. I don't know where and when it will come, but eventually, I bring it up in conversation, someone else brings it up in conversation, or I see it written somewhere. Once that happens several times, I decide that I can believe there is Truth to the thought or idea.

This is such a scary story, but I'm glad you decided to share it. For one, emotional vulnerability is a big risk in being a novice in anything, but especially something so highly personal as spirituality. I know I personally had to deal with that even as a highly skeptical person (to give an idea, I thought I was an atheist for the majority of my life, even during my early magic phase where I practiced Chaos magic and considered myself a Satanist. It took me a long time to explore my relationship with Deity and how complicated it actually is). Also, I feel like most people mistake psychosis for highly spiritual experiences and vice versa. I personally haven't had spiritual psychosis but my mental health plays a big role in my relationship with my spirituality, and I've experienced some spiritual things that were extremely scary stemming from that (and this is coming from a person who likes to watch thrillers and read horror comics, so it's not like I am the kind of person who would quit something just for being scary). I think that it should be normalized for people to speak up about the dangers of spiritual practices and how people with mental health issues like schizophrenia can protect themselves from that possibility of danger. I have also personally seen people who have obviously slipped into psychosis post things on forums about how Satan was torturing them in hell, so it can be something that needs to be dealt with online as well and it's hard to do when you can only do so much from behind a screen (and also if those same forums have no support system for it beyond a mod team). Stay safe out there everyone

thank you so much for sharing ❤ you’re so kind to share in the effort to help others be more aware

thank you very much for sharing! knowing and recognizing is half the battle to solving a problem. i'm so glad you made out ok!

Thank you so much for this! There are so many similarities between my story and yours. My “spiritual healer” also believed she was the mother of dragons. I believed me and her had a soul contract to help other starseeds “wake up.” I would love to share my story with you. Spiritual psychosis is very real, and I want to bring awareness to it just like you are.

Thank you so much for telling your story! If you touch just one person and they relate to what you are saying, it is so much worth it!

Hi Bente. I first started getting interested in the mystical following my very first manic episode 6 years ago, during which I developed delusions of being a psychic medium and having otherworldly abilities I really don’t possess. This has occurred for at least 2 more times and I’m now diagnosed bipolar 1 and medicated. I’m still interested in spirituality but I don’t delve too much into it because I’m very aware of psychosis and the possibility of it kicking in again with the same themes, so this video is very enlightening.

Thank you for talking about this. This was super important to learn about so I appreciate you sharing your own personal experience no matter how cringy you may have felt. Kudos to being so brutally honest!!

Thank you for opening yourself up and being vulnerable with us. I know it's not an easy thing to, and I genuinely appreciate you bringing attention to not only spiritual psychosis but also mental health within the spiritual community and how easy it can be for someone to take advantage of you if you blindly trust everything and everyone. My number one rule with witchcraft and particularly spirituality is: Question EVERYTHING. Every video. Every book. Every conference or conversation. Every spell and ritual and their outcomes. Everything. While believing in yourself and your magick is important in spell casting, a healthy dose of skepticism is necessary for your mental health and safety. Thanks again for being so vulnerable with us and sharing your experience.

Thank you for sharing your experiences, it’s very helpful to hear and important to talk about. We still love you ❤

It took a lot of courage to share this. You did an excellent job and it was inspiring. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thank you for this! As a beginner, this is very helpful! Not only for my interactions with others but also my own personal experiences! ❤

you are one of my all time favorite channels on this platform

Love hearing your story! Thank you for your vulnerability!

reading all the comments makes me a bit more calm about my experience.. i was and still am very concerned for my ex but the only thing for them is just believing that everything will come to them without doing anything and that the universe will do it’s thing… it’s still sad to see such a talented person waste their time on doing nothing but after reading what people wrote i think my ex will be fine

Thank you so much for sharing this, I'm sorry you went through this, you definitely weren't stupid, don't think that, you were just drawn in with your love and innocence. But you grew from the experience and look at you now 💪❤ I've met a few people on my path with spiritual psychosis (but this is the first time I've had a phrase for it!) And they are so hard to spot when you're new to your craft whatever age you are. Again thank you for sharing your open and honest experience ❤❤❤

What a moving story. I appreciate you baring your soul and allowing us this glimpse into the pain of your past. I felt sad every time you said you were embarrassed that you believed this man and the things he was telling you. You were vulnerable and in need, and you filled that need with what presented itself at the time. You mentioned it was one of the most difficult times of your life, but you came through it with knowledge and a healthy perspective. The fact that you can give grace to this man who was himself struggling and ill shows that you have come out on top of this experience. I see nothing to be embarrassed about.

We met and fell for similar people except he believed he was a god and became abusive and never got therapy. Your story has a better ending.

Thank you for spreading awareness about this.

Thank you for sharing. You are brave and thoroughly appreciated.

You should be proud of yourself for talking about this. You are very brave. 💛

I know this video is from a while ago, but I just wanted to thank you for your courage and vulnerability. I know it will help many people to better understand and hopefully get help if they need it. ❤

What an amazing video! Glad you shared it ❤

Thank you for your honesty. I luckily never had an experience as uncomfortable as that, but back at the beginning of my practice i was desperate to learn more while my own intuitive abilities weren't clear or forthcoming. So i did engage in readings which told me some pretty wild stories about my soul about my spirit guides, my past lives, you name it. Luckily i was always very suspicious and never fully bought into these stories and finally i decided to never engage in seeking spiritual information like that from others but to wait until i myself have spiritual experiences, the validity of which i could better judge myself.

Thanks for sharing!!! Learning a lot whith you ❤ from Brazil 🇧🇷

I feel there is a friend of mine who may be experiencing spiritual psychosis and has for years. Thank you for sharing this. 🌞

Thank you for sharing your story and experience. You did a good job showing how complex spiritual psychosis can be. One part that stood out to me is the clarity looking back and the sense of disbelief, like, how did I get roped into this? How did I not see what was happening? How did 6 months go by when it should have been clear by month 1? And wow, sometimes it really is just that complex. What gets me is that some people *know* they are lying. They are ill-intentioned and *purposefully* being manipulative. They are aware of what they are doing and they are purposefully doing it. On the other hand, there are people who are genuinely disconnected with reality. They may even have good hearts and kind intentions, but that doesn't make their beliefs real (real to them yes, but not real-real, if I can say that). Whether their intentions are good or ill, or whether they have some underlying condition or none at all, it can be incredibly difficult to tell. And, it can be so easy to be sucked in without knowing it. You think you're walking up a hill and turns out somehow you followed someone into a pit. Going down was easy. Getting tangled didn't even feel like that. But climbing out is always hard work. The majority of my life has been in Christian settings. There's been a variety of perspectives about "genuine spiritual experiences" and "how to discern." I'm familiar with those answers from a Christian perspective. I would be curious to hear more about your perspective on discernment. To be honest, I'm not aware of what spiritual experiences one can expect to have as a Norse Witch (or any practicing witch). I imagine there's going to be a diverse answer to that.

great topic and important discussion, thanks !

Wow this was triggering something very similar happened to me. Three years ago I had just started getting more heavily in spirituality and magic and wanting to meet people who are interested in the same stuff I don’t want to get into the long story but I also suffered spiritual narcissistic abuse from a chaos magician, who is fully convinced that he was a dragon. Like it’s so nice to hear I’m not the only person this happened to, I also had no self-esteem was desperate from attention for somebody thought that because he had 15 years of experience in chaos magic, then he must have some thing to teach me and I can learn from him, ignoring my own instinct and intuition. It was a very psychology and emotionally traumatic experience

Thanks for the video, really helpful

thanks for share, i think too this its a much common place in paganism, and truly thank you to tell your story, i know it could be embrassing, but its necessary specially for newbest in such things where the racionalism is put in doubt from the very begenning in this path, i think is so important for that a good critical eskepticism thinking putting in front, and a good partnership suporting with guidance. i knowing because i have had my own psycotic episode, again thank ypu

thanks for the video....spiritual psychosis may be very common today even outside the occult..

thank you for your courage to post this topic,

oh my gosh this is making me feel so seen. i went through something similar: met some kind of spiritual narcissist online who was super confident in all his knowledge. he pushed his beliefs onto me and i had no defenses, he shaped me into the person he needed me to be to feed his ego... he told me he had visions of me being a seductive fairy in spirit world, that our spirit guides brought us together for a spiritual mission to save the world etc... i think he might've also been into a spiritual psychosis. and he pulled me into it as well. it was so scary and i'm still dealing with the traumatic impact... EDIT: THIS GUY ALSO TOLD ME THAT IN SPIRIT WORLD I WAS IN HIS TEMPLE/KINGDOM WHERE HE WAS A PRIEST/DRAGON !! with so much authority, i was his inferior in his temple & he 'protected' me in spirit world in his dragon form. thank you so much for this video, it feels incredibly validating to hear someone talk about going through the same thing. it feels so embarrassing to have been pulled into such delusions.

I had my own bout with it. This was before RU-vid was really a thing and there just wasn't that much information online in regards to spiritual topics. Mine lasted over two years. Doctors said there wasn't anything wrong with me but every single day multiple times a day i was having these totally unreal experiences. There was the odd auditory hallucinations but most of it felt like the barrier between my mind and the reality around me had broken down. If I thought it then whatever it was seemed to find a way to appear immediately. For example maybe I was at the gas station buying a drink and I'd think about a certain make, model and color of a car i was maybe going to buy. As soon as i completed the thought I'd hear the clerk and a customer (people I don't know at all) talking about the exact same car in the exact same color. If that were an isolated incident then I'd put it in the coincidence category but this happened many times a day every day. It seemed like there were messages on the radio and tv. The strangest thing was it seemed like there was something talking through people that I knew when i was having a conversation with them. They knew things about me they shouldn't have known. They'd say cryptic things and then give a wimk or a smirk and it just didn't "feel" like they were the same person. The only way to avoid it was to be totally alone without listening to a radio or watching tv, so by the end of it I'd become a recluse. One day i just begged for it to stop because I couldn't figure out what any of it was for and yoi know what? It stopped. Right then. It had mimicked schizophrenia but I'm pretty sure you can't just ask that to go away which is why i don't think it was a mental disease of any kind.

Don't be embarrassed, you were a victim of abuse. I went through something similar minus the spiritual aspects. It can feel shameful to admit what you were manipulated to believe. All you can do is learn and grow and you have. I'm so proud how strong you've become from it.

Struggling right now, I feel I have been through a huge dark night of the soul/Spiritual awakening, it also feels like there is or has been an element of psychosis to it at least recently. I am grateful for my progress.

You are so beautiful. May the Gods bless your soul. Thankyou ❤

You’re my favorite new young pagan person, lady. Unfortunately, there are a lot of unhinged ppl in this especially when it comes to the dark side of things. Hazards of the trade. Many and most will lose sight of what they do and why they do it because results in purpose through workings should be what it’s all about. I, too just got out of a relationship (2 yrs back) with a narcissistic person. Yeah. Really fucked. But thanks for sharing.

yes it does help thank you.

I went through spiritual awaking and psychosis. ( I had a religious psychosis) I had demons ... I was damaged since my childhood... emotionally mentally physically verbally abused by my parents ( my stepfather has anti social personality disorder like narcissism) ...in my teenage sexual trauma , promiscuity... my body and brain and soul couldn't handle anymore. ..agonizing experience. . Saw Santa muerte in my dream I don't do witchcraft. ..

Thank you for sharing your story. You aren’t stupid for falling for a man’s manipulative tactics and enchantment of lies

Wow😮… Thank you so much for being brave enough and share this experience. It is worthwhile. I never heard of « otherkin » before but « spiritual psychosis » is something very real… Fortunately, you’ve found your strength and self-confidence back and were able to free yourself out of this web…

A lot of these kinds of people tend to be drawn to magick unfortunately, and the nature of magick seems to affirm their own internal states... I met someone at the beginning of my own path as a magician... She had been practicing for a few years more than me and had a self assured attitude with her practice. I trusted her because I thought, "Well she has more experience and seems to know what she is doing!" She had grand narratives in her head, that she was chosen by Hecate, that everyone she was close to was a twin flame she'd known in past lives, yadda yadda... It's one thing to SAY you're experienced in magick for this amount of time, but it's also something to ask, how much of that time is actual time spent practicing? And how much of that practice is actually substantive and backed up by logic? I think that's why grounding, having a life (job, relationship, friends) outside of magick, and reflection/journaling are the most important things in a practitioner's repitoire. Lon Milo Duquette has a great quote -- "Magick isn't my life. I have a life thank you very much! I just use magick to enhance it."

This is really informative and I don't think it's embarrassing at all - my dad is a Catholic zealot (emphasis on "zealot," rather than the faith in question) and it took me a long time to realize the things I were taught in childhood were pretty messed up. Children are vulnerable, and older people who have been hurt are also vulnerable, and it's not shameful to be trusting. It's the fault of the person who takes advantage of that. Obviously mental illness clouds this issue, but try to think of it through this lens: instead of manically clinging to spirituality, replace it with something like a parasocial relationship or an eating disorder. People who are desperate to find their place on the planet will fall into traps set by society in many ways - cults, extremist groups, and scams being the most dangerous. No shame in having been vulnerable and absolutely no shame in initially believing the words of a person who possesses both grandiose charisma and the ability to make you believe you're crazy. Thank you for your insights. :)

Pretty sure I’ve dealt with someone like this before- not necessarily in my practice (because this was before I started) but just as a friend. He was older, my manager (🚩), and obsessed with the gym. Long story short; got me into it as well and would tell me things like I shouldn’t be running on the treadmill because my legs weren’t strong enough 🥴 he was the one with the actual physical limitation, not me. Oh the things I could say, but yeah the gaslighting and lovebombing were real with that one.

Hi, first time commentor. Long time watcher. But yes, I think I have had an experience with an ex that was similar to this. This was several years ago and I still puzzle over things to this day. I think things could have gone a lot further down a rabbit hole than they did.

Thank you for sharing I never talk about what happened to me because I feel like people will look at me crazy for dating a chaos magician, who believed he was some warlock dragon nonhuman God, or some craziness

I had a pretty similar experience, when I was in a similar vulnerable state and just starting out to seek community after a couple years of being solitary. But the forum he was in was as a whole pretty toxic and we were in that online "coven" and forced to defend ourselves from others (who were mad about our coven claiming that there is no such thing as white or dark magic, that magic is just energy). Plus, he was on older white male with more experience than I, so of course he must be right (lol). He thought he was an elven prince and this human experience was awful to him and that my higher self was an angel. I got a bad feeling and broke it up after 2 or 3 months before ever seeing him in person. To this day I don't know if my higher self is an angel or not, but that doesn't matter much since I live a human life. However, I l have stayed away from the witchy online community since then, it left quite the shadow.

Meow gonna drink tea with you, also dig the glasses

I’m glad to hear your ex started going to therapy, I’m healing and it’s gonna take a long time but ultimately I do think my ex is extremely mentally ill so I don’t know how much I can actually blame him

I cannot tell you how desperately common your story is. I see it mostly in pagan circles, but it's definitely a thing in other religions. I just mostly have more personal, direct experience with pagans.

❤

This was great 😂😂😂🤘🏻🤘🏻

This video was great but my problem with spiritual psychosis is that people throw it around for the littlest of things just because they don't personally believe in it, like Pop-Culture Paganism or practices get called psychosis all the time. Some people can actually have deep connections to their path and spirits without going through psychosis, just because this isn't the medieval times that doesn't mean we can't have deep connections to the entities we work with. The way I can tell if someone has psychosis is if they start acting reckless or if the stories are dangerous, the person might also believe that they are a chosen one where they are a lot more powerful then others or can do miracles. Some stories are not spiritual physios, aka just because someone says they believe they are something and are not letting dictate their life in a reckless or dangerous manner and are just living their lives then they are either confused or they actually do have that connection. I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL THESE ARE JUST SOME RED FLAGS IN GENERAL. Not every culture is the same, so if your culture says you can't do one thing that doesn't mean other cultures can't do that either and that does not mean that it's physios and a lot of times this can become unintentional xenophobia or racist so be careful about that. P.S. this is not an angry post I just see a lot of people throwing the term around like it's nothing without even having had psychosis before or they don't have any traning in the field which can be EXTREMELY dangerous. I'm not saying that's what's happening in the video this is for everyone who throw the term at anything they don't personally believe, IT IS DANGEROUS to just throw it around and can potentially harm someone.

Hard core acim and neville goddard followers on here are f#$king SO many people up on here. So are others. I'm trying to recover without proper help available here in Indiana....and it's been beyond f#$ked up on top of trying to cope with my teen sister's death from a combo o.d. ......extremely traumatizing cotsd shit fr. Thank you for this video.

Echt schlimme Erfahrung hast du da gemacht ja, sehr wertvoll trotzdem, dein Video kann anderen helfen nicht blind alles zu glauben was ein anderer erzählt ❤ Danke hierfür. Peinlich muss es dir nicht sein 🤗 jeder macht so seine Erfahrungen durch, jeder hat sein Päckchen zu tragen, bei niemanden ist alles eitel Sonnenschein. Wer keine Fehler macht, macht auch sonst nichts. Boah, nur die ersten zwei Monate mit ihm waren schön, trotzdem hats leider sechs Monate gedauert, ganz genauso wie bei mir und meinem narzistischen, gaslightenden Ex 🤯 und ich wünschte mir auch, ich hätte früher Schluss gemacht.. nur halt nicht alles im spirituellen-magischen Kontext, er war ein Muggel 😅

This reminds me of the starseed community on TikTok...shits wild

Glad your real so.uch😊

In Huna (Max Freedom Long) led to linguists finding link between Berber Tribe of North Africa, (yes the Berber carpet is linked to them they invented that knot weave) the Serge Kahilli-King version of Huna is a part of Huna but not all of it. What is Huna? Ancient Egyptian philosophy. In HUNA, the mind is broken into 3 aspects. Superconscious, Conscious, Sub-conscious. They have a understanding of the way the energy communicates between the 3 selves. Now this is not very different than the 3 Hindu gods, or Christian father, son, holy ghost, or metaphysic elements. To avoid confusion, lets compartment each thing. Sub-c or subconscious is very large, think of it as all emotional memory from all ancestors from all of recorded history, but you cannot access in waking consciousness. Conscious mind, can pray or affirm intention or do magic (using thought to manifest real material physical effects) the Huna shaman learns to do things that affect control over normally non-accessible aspects of mind. Sub-conscious is able to get direct messages from Super-Conscious, and if there is a soul, its non-physical and is in the Super-C. Here is the problem, you are local to the now time, in the conscious mind. You are affected by the Super-C and the Sub-C but the Conscious mind is really just a programmable computer. Words, Experiences, Sounds, Images : these enter your 5 sense from birth canal to birth to adulthood. However, if your mom was listening to beautiful music, eating healthy and well loved during pregnancy you might have a different energy field than if you mom was in a battlefield and running for her life daily during the same time frame. The analogy is that we inherit ideas, memes, traditions from ancestors and if we fail to adapt to change those that don't support our time versus their time we create energy tension. Lets say grandma drinks tea with 18% cream. Mom drinks tea with 6% cream. You drink double-mint frappicino with organically farmed eco-friendly cane sugar which supports the re-homing of the blue spotted australian cane toad charity using an Altcoin on the ethereum blockchain to which you host your own node and earn 0.00001 each time a person orders your drink anywhere in the world. Honor grandma, and momma, but you live in new era - don't apologize to grandma or mom, honor your own time, be who you can be, live your life - its yours. In the mind, we have a bunch of mushy tissue, with blood, pumps, cells, network cables called nervous systems and information exchange of electro-chemical bioactive biologic systems. plants like tobacco (not the store bought, sprayed with engineer chemical toxins kind) but the grown natural in the rainforest never altered by mankind kind. That tobacco can stimulate your brain to signal information to your eyes to open your pupils wider to let more light in, to absorb more oxygen into your blood and make your muscles work more effectively, lastly the stimulant in your glands are released when the mild toxin in the leaf enters your brain via blood and the brain cognition spikes in processing more information faster and better. Point being, you shoot an animal with bow and arrow more accurately over a longer distance and hunt dinner for yourself and others due to knowing which leaf or plant gives you the boost for which activity. In america, they call it red bull, or gatorade or steroids. In the office they call it espresso, or cohibas. At the bar they call it single malt scotch. In surgery they call it anisthetic. On a mountain top hanging off a rock on a rope they call it adrenaline. If you don't know red bull exists because you are a barefoot loincloth wearing shaman in the forest of peru, don't worry, they back here don't know if you take the bark from this tree and mix it with the leaf of this tree and boil it overnight and then chew it you get the same effect or better for free. The thing is, psyche is like a car engine under a hood that you aren't allowed to lift open. Everyone has a psyche, everyone has an engine. Some are simple, some are extremely complex. If you can explain how to open a psyche which is non-physical and non-local and put it on the table for examination to be dissected like a decease frog, pointing to the organs, the vitals, the systems well you are likely in need of help yourself. Why? There is no standard ordinary reality. There is no consensus to rational thinking. Of course we all want to thing we are normal, and more normal than the neighbors or that guy at work or the woman on the bus. Each person is a complex set of life experiences, traumas, gifts and flaws. Like a fingerprint they are all unique. You are unique, whether you are dying today of a terminal disease or in 80 more years of natural aging, one day, no matter how many differences you have with everyone else you will share 2 things with your friends and enemies. You will one day be born, you will one day die. For some poor souls in the maternity wards or neo-natal care units that day is the same day. For the rest of us we have the dash, you know the dash or hyphen between the birth day and you death. The dash is all you have you do your living. Living is being alive, and being alive can be just existing or it can be thriving, vibrant and exhilirating. The difference is huge between these two things. What makes you feel alive, your happiness resides inside your brain cells, its not out there in the car you drive, the shoes you wear or the vacation you took. Not that you shouldn't pursue those things but to really thrive, you must be fully alive. Life is energy. No energy is death. So learn about energy, your energy, and how to use it to get more energy. C+E=TnOr is an equation i heard once. It means the nature of your reality is proportionate to how you use C and E. What is C, your conscious mind. What is E, your energy and the energy of the material world, the spirit world or dream world of your imagination. Nothing comes into form in the world without thought, and thoughts are words and images held in your mind. If you have more E, you need less C. However if you have lower C, you need to more E to have the same reality. So master both C and E, to improve your reality. C is hard to increase, its work. It's more work undoing beliefs than gaining them, unlearning is more effort than learning. Energy is invisible and visible. You can access non-physical C by dreaming, vision boarding, and meditation in nature. Nature is a teacher, spend time in it, observe it, really really look at how it is and expand awareness of it. over time you'll shift. You'll increase your C and that will make you expend less E all the while having a great reality. How You need a rich, nutrient filled mind full of words and images that will motivate you to get energy, more than you have now, more than you think is possible. First you need to control that energy, harness the horses of your mind, control them like a chariot driver and steer them directly toward your goal. You do this each day. Eat an apple, smoke a cigarette, 2 choices, both energy, but effects are different. Walk 15 min up a hill, or eat 4 bags of chips watching simpsons re-runs, 2 choices, different outcomes. Make your own lunch, eat out at the fancy new lunch cafe, 280 days later the first one will pay for your winter holiday from savings and the second one well you know already. Magic is not magic. Magic is just a word. Science is magic, magnetism is magic to a child. Yet you are magnetic, your blood, your breath, your circuits are moving in a circular fashion, as are the planets. On a microscopic level your blood is doing things, on a cosmic level the orbiting planets are doing things. When shit goes south, fan belts break, appliances break, relationships break, its all energy at a cycle or circular manner. SO LEARN the NATURAL LAWS. The key to living, is learning what the Dash is, its governed by the motion of the planets, you are able to access a universe of infomartion, more than any generation before you. BJT, you need to filter that info. Filter it to align with your dreams. If its outside your dream goal, whether people, environment, or foods or experiences - let it go. Harness your horses and steer them where you want. Horses are ideas, you steer them by concentrating, by repetition by discipline - by saying no to this, and yes to that. This is all magic is. Over and over, the mind is limitless but an open mind without filters gets plugged with crap that you cannot clean easily. Hermenutical Hygiene they call it, I call it a filter. I screen the unseen, i filter the images, the invisible enemy. I allow in the defense tools, i sharpen the discerning words, i slice and chop the fear with both edges of a sword that swings in my sleep. I employ ninjas to protect my mind from dream hunters, i evaporate entities before they awake, i neutralize harmful beings galaxies away before they are born, before they are conceived, they have no power over the spirit of energy that masters this universe and its the Sun, the light, the truth, the way, the source of all energy and all life and to connect to it all you need to is practice filtering, and lean in to living your dash as the creative entity you were designed to be. You need not pay anyone to get there, its a free gift, its hardwired in you, the access point isn't in your head, no its hidden. Its hidden where the darkness will never look, for they cannot ever find it, because they no not what it is. Its your heart. Its in your heart, the heart is the first and last beat of your dash, your life. So go build your dash.

You are not shaming anyone. Besides you said you have similar problem so no one has the right to say you a shaming the. You are not putting yourself above others. II am glad you did not stay in that relationship. I can't imagine how scared you were when you found out what was really going on. I do have to warn you other illinesses mimic mental illiness like Parkinson's disease. The same thing they can not help it, but it does not matter if they can not help it they can still hurt you. So check out anything anyone has.

I understand believe me. Please answer this question, other people I am sure will want to know about it too. I had been interested in Ceremonial magick. I know everything has to be perfect to be able to do a spell. I was told by a person I knew he would not teach me even if I bought everything from him to learn, Being he had a buisness for. He did not tell me why and I did not ask. In the past he had told me when you have depression and other related issues you have to be extra careful because spirits can try to take advantage of you if they see a moments weakness. But I thought thats what spirit guides are for. I have never met mine. What I worried about was two things. In my depression I would not be able to put all the effort out on bad days, or have the attention span for it or the discipline needed maybe. Do you find these things to be a problem? Do the Gods care? I have not watched this video yet, maybe I will see the answers, than

I saw a dragon and I thought I myself was a dragon it’s crazy

I don't understand spiritual psychosis & I don't know what gas lighting means, but if you had told me you were an elf princess in another time or place I think I would think it was possible. I put myself down as a womble. That's not because I believe I am a womble in another time or place. It's because I used to watch the wombles when I was younger on television. I still sometimes watch them on RU-vid..... Glad you got over your experience & hope anyone else who experiences similar finds a way out of unusual circumstances. 👍💚.

"the Queen of Filth" Now our bodies are wet, there is blood on the beaches I brought you into this, don't deny yourself Smile, you're all set! Surprise, you're now one of the gang! Take what you want to take! Surprise, you're now running the game! We lay in the gore of our vices Oh, we writhe in them At night, we assemble the hunt for our prizes I hooked you in the way, you should try yourself Smile, now you're all set! Surprise, you're now one of the gang! Take what you want to take! Surprise, you're now running the world! We'll slip right through these gates together someday Lost in these dreams, we arrive in I know you will Develop the taste that will tie us together I put you in this game, just remind yourself. THERE. THATS YOUR FUCKIN "LIFE." There went your time, say goodbye, now leave here My fuse has expired, fucking die, just leave here Powerless stuck in your web of shit Open your eyes, you only play yourself Whoever's watching, I hope they catch the drift Collect your crown, you're now the queen of filth They're delusions, don't deny it Don't make this out to be something about you I've been scarred, fucking repulsed by this My only tale is one that I can't stand Now I've become this core of rotted will My heart is black and I will now bounce back There, say goodbye, just retire from the earth You've been exiled, take your body elsewhere There went your time, say goodbye, now leave here My fuse has expired, fucking die, just leave here Powerless stuck in your web of shit Open your eyes, you only play yourself Whoever's watching, I hope they catch the drift Collect your crown, you're now the queen of filth They're delusions, don't deny it Don't make this out to be something about you I've been scarred, fucking repulsed by this My only tale is one that I can't stand Now I've become this core of rotted will My heart is black and I will now bounce back There, say goodbye, just retire from the earth You've been exiled, take your body elsewhere. There is no music in your eyes. only DEAD SILENCE. as you plunge that kniife into my spine. so notify my next of kin id rather be dead and only satan makes us sin but dont you fuckin love it when we are spinning in his grin? a silent long night black sun dripping blood from all of my visions and all my hope that you stole your noxious meesenger rides on blight etching ever deeper in the cosmos that you broke a black and white kaleidescpe he writes the shapes and letters from all the blasphemies you spoke. the dead planet it in my soul hangs beneath the nightmare of it all this was a game that i could never win your love was you would never give my heart is doomed and its bringing forth all the empty rooms like tombs into a hellish casym i fell alone bring forth the houses that were never home that we could never own. and i had no soul to be sold its just geting awful cold a snow covered tundra but there is an empty skyline way out there its windows have an eerie glimmer of a flourescent dying star this is the winter. it was never htis that could daunt me i love the way you haunt me. In the haze of your light, we bathe and wane You've surrounded our hearts again You smother me in shapes, in a secret praxis You've shown me your charms, revealed your name Blow the clouds from your mouth again And smother me in shapes, you'll reveal your secret side Your light will fade and our hearts will sync in time Your disguise will shift and rever In the wake of your plume, we bathe and drink You remind me of her again Smother me in shapes and reveal your secret side Your light will fade and our hearts will sync in time Your disguise will shift and reverse Priestess Come down Contact Reach us Go wild I've chased your name I've sailed all through space Watch this Come down Teach us The ropes Your contact It keeps us provoked Remove your veil Let me light you up I'm on your team Let's go Face to face, light stare My custom made nightmares Armed with teeth in fashion Now all we need is action Complex Priestess Come down Our contact Reach us Go wild Remove your veil, every last one I'm on your team I'm the antidote The rocket's taking off Tonight, It's time Take me I'll light you up Take me UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP fuck. Hey, princess. lay back in your chair Show us your geometry. And see if I stare. Pink cigarette, white see-through dress And a black and gold veil Ornate headdress my TEMPREST. weild your staff and weave your viel. Vows... Secrects.. WAKE me WHEN. ITS-my-TURN-to-walk THROUGH. im caught so fucking eep aught deep in your every curve primed and ready BEEN FIGHTING THESE BATTLES. the war was always WON. lift your veil-up now and With the sound by yoursel formuLATTTEE. as her WORDS DRAW YOU IN our faith reconNECTS. and our HEARTS they COLLAPSE at the WORDS. oh my god please come to me in your glitz and your glam place your heart down sit-back and WATCH. this.. all thes ugly fucking Blank features vile creature. COLLAPSE- AT YOUR- KNEES. Vows... Secrects.. WAKE me WHEN. ITS-my-TURN-to-walk THROUGH. dont turn AROOOUNND.DD!! LOOK back and SEE IT. just hang on formulate and dont believe just be yourself. dont. turn. around. NOW LOOK BACK AND SEE IT! we are enlightened WE ARE ENGLITHENED! we STARE we behold. WE COMMIT TO YOUR BEING. so we belong. WE BELONG. deep in your perfect circle forever trapped in your-GRACE. wrapped in your prism prison walls we will stay we will stay i know i know that hateful spear will not MISS.. so bring me back around to the front IN DEATHS KISS. we will not age i have a mistake i must make leaving every fiber of distortion BURNING IN MY FUCKING WAKE im so sorry i couldnt save you i watched them tear you apart over and over THERE WASNT A FUCKING VIOLENT CONCEPT AND BLOW I HADNT GAVE. i cant read the words right in front of me stretched across the bottom swim or die prosper and decay time is all we have dont give it all away your life is limitless i love being disastorous in every way YOU ARE THE BRIGHTEST star. that i have ever seen id be helpless with no shadow that how much id hate to see you FADE. FADE. FAAADDEEE. fade. this is the last of our age this generation at an end the jaguars at a heart that did rend its a book ive never wriitten full of blatantly bad insight but we will be on THE NEXT PAGE there youll find out that i was right . where the sacred fire will stil... l.... ra ge.

I understand how talking about this might feel awkward and embarrassing but my dear you have nothing to be ashamed of, this was no doubt a toxic relationship with elements of abuse and there is nothing shameful in being a victim/survivor of abuse. All the blame and shame lies upon the abuser!

Never been witch craft but watch videos all aspect interests just get knowledge . Thqn ran into beta video. Got tinnitus they say ringibng of ear doctors chexk past test its head

Why is this me

This is not talked about at all. Like I stated, I have mental health issues regarding Schizophrenia. Now, I hear only one voice. My so-called Spiritual Guide, who lies to me all the time. He/She says that it is part of the Dark Night of the Soul Process. And, I'm like ok, whatever.

Never EVER trust a chaos magician lol

Why does this sound like 99% of witchtok xD

if you don't believe people can be dragons might as well quit the new age movement, it always is the hero starting as a nobody getting dissed every turn especially the villain

If you ask me, there is no difference between a spiritual "awakening"/experience and spiritual psychosis, you just dive into your own fantasy losing touch to reality.

Jesus is lord!