Steven Seagal

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Audio is from Cum Town, Episode 36 - Goatee Era Seagal (1/18/2017), with guest Ben O'Brien
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Опубликовано:

15 мар 2020

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Комментарии : 13 тыс.

@ClangersTV 5 месяцев назад

Nick Mullen: The Year of the Dragon - FULL COMEDY SPECIAL: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-VBlQBm5pReQ.html

@bong_water_chug5515 5 месяцев назад

Hell yeah dude

@youtubeviolatedme7123 4 месяца назад

I don't know if I enjoyed Nick's or Stav's special better. Both probably make my top 10 specials of 2023 for sure though.

@Scott-fy7fm 3 месяца назад

This seagal review is one of my favorite videos on RU-vid, it is absolutely hilarious, well done

@caseytodd7632 2 года назад

A lot of people don't know this, but Steven Seagal actually knows karate, taekwando, judo, jiu jitsu and many other types of dangerous words.

@alfredroa9437 2 года назад

King of improv

@Gibbernak 2 года назад

Nice

@waitaminute-113 2 года назад

I’m not gonna lie you got me in that first half

@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd 2 года назад

He's been doing martial arts for 85 years

@Hastur876 2 года назад

@@CoolPandaTheMovieNerd Marshmallow arts more like

@paulmarchano7238 4 года назад

The way Seagal holds his rifle is completely embarrassing.

@smuketherealbigboyman 4 года назад

Paul Marchano “fatly going around corners”

@patrickstar6458 4 года назад

"Stock propped up on his shoulder"

@jeremylim2421 4 года назад

A little higher and he'll be holding it like a rocket launcher.

@NebMunb 4 года назад

I had to rewind every time he held a rifle, just to laugh at how bad it was

@theDudeOfDudes 4 года назад

The fact that it was still so out of control and flipping around in his limp hand when firing BLANKS was hilarious.

@TheValorous Год назад

"34, he isn't a.. young guy.." That got this 35 year old's eye a bit teary.

@spets4265 Год назад

Don't feel bad, when I was 21 everyone older than 25 was 'ancient'. I can guarantee you its the same with the guys commentating.

@CrazyPlatinum92 Год назад

I'll be 31 in a week...

@mikewood4242 Год назад

@@spets4265 When I was 26 I was callled an "old man" by chicks 20 at the bar

@jellybean4049 Год назад

I just turned 32 and people call me a kid still. Some woman said "Ahhh! Your still a baby." Little strange but I guess theses guys are all 20 - 24 or so.

@mikevandemark1993 Год назад

They have 35 is middle aged 😂

@Mhammerable Год назад

they should have cast him for Tropic Thunder and just told him it was an actual action movie

@incogn3gr0 3 месяца назад

That would have been brilliant

@balefulbunny 2 месяца назад

The idea of Big Seagull in that movie has my imagination running wild! Woulda been great!

@bob3007 2 месяца назад

@@balefulbunny if reality ever gets reset, i vote @Mhammerable to be in charge lmaoo. my head is spinning with the possible hilarity that idea entails. SHANE GILLIS!!!! IF YOU READ THIS!!! steal this mans idea and make this a sketch lmao... a concept this good can't be squandered by the likes of... _network television_

@dslkjvoxicuyhgl4554 4 года назад

He's sniping from 5 feet away, shooting at a devout taliban islamist I'd presume, who is drinking liquor, out of a flask. it's amazing.

@lukeg452 4 года назад

Why Would you ever hire him instead of vandamme

@TheSchematican 4 года назад

Uteop He served two tours in Foreverever Land with Frank Dux bro. Jokes aside does the first bullet hit the flask and dent it? Lol

@lukeg452 4 года назад

M Lo i thought it was some type of anti material rifle or some shit

@dslkjvoxicuyhgl4554 4 года назад

@@TheSchematican Oh man, I'd forgotten about Frank Dux. Thank you for mentioning him. And it looked like it may have, which I imagine it wouldn't in real life, it would completely over penetrate and leave a very clean entry and exit.

@evanabbott2737 4 года назад

I like how he needs to shoot the flask first....😁

@caffeinatedbuffalosauce883 3 года назад

I love how the Muslim Islamist is drinking alcohol in his movie

@joeschmoe9154 3 года назад

You'd drink too if the only operations they sent you on were against Fat ass Seagal/

@hangukhiphop 3 года назад

Muslim Islamist? lol

@ridalger16 3 года назад

@@hangukhiphop makes sense not every Muslim is a radical

@ridalger16 3 года назад

Hahaha

@ginogatash4030 3 года назад

@@hangukhiphop I was about to say exactly that.

@sebastianlightcap2764 Год назад

"Well, it started with Glimmer Man and now it's progressed to the point where he just talks like a slave" had me dying laughing

@marthaw7664 4 месяца назад

Making movies in Moscow…….he is Шлях трафи

@Kgcottawa 8 месяцев назад

“Fatly going around corners” Omfg I died from laughter

@MohammadObaid52 3 года назад

Fun fact: Seagal has claimed once to be immune to any chokeholds. In order to prove it, he had a stuntman put him in a chokehold. Seagal promptly lost consciousness and also shit himself.

@ChucksSEADnDEAD 3 года назад

Good Ole Gene Lebell

@user-vs6oe8fl3m 3 года назад

Hahahahahahahahhayahahahahahha

@JamesMooreMarketing 3 года назад

No Gene also put him in a hold. There was a stunt man who's team complained Seagal was being too rough. When Seagal heard the stunt guy was some belt in an art form he told him put him in a choke and he get out of it. The stunt guys boss said go ahead and old steven could not get out of it and after a bit of straining he tapped and headed straight to the toilets 😂

@MohammadObaid52 3 года назад

@@JamesMooreMarketing Hahaha, thank you for the clarification on the story mate :)

@alexandermccarthy 3 года назад

The true (skid) mark of a great warrior! 😁 😁 😁

@djesun1 Год назад

Steven Seagal is the kind of guy that wakes up the entire family to let them know that he's going to bed

@lhaviland8602 Год назад

WHY IS THIS SO ACCURATE!?

@planes3333 Год назад

ughhh "immm going ....to....bed...ok uhhhh🤣

@TheReelDealFilmReviews Год назад

I’m na get me maaa slippers motherfuckers

@Prototheria Год назад

I'm totally ripping off RCR here, but I think it fits. Steven Seagull is the kind of guy that shits himself but keeps singing happy birthday.

@TheReelDealFilmReviews Год назад

@@Prototheria I would love a pet Seagull called Steven Seagull 🤣. I have a Miniature Schnauzer called Arnold Schnauzernegger 😊. Yes I agree 😂

@only1smally Год назад

About every six months I check in on this masterpiece.

@reriks03 16 дней назад

This is so gold.

@ryh5169 Год назад

4:33 "Are you really as good as they ALL say you are" -- The fact she added "all" ("they say" wasn't enough -- no, it must be UNANIMOUS) is proof Seagal himself wrote that line

@Lulzorz125 3 года назад

I love the way he holds guns. The stock is like never in contact with his shoulder. He's so fuckin strong he just absorbs all the recoil with his limp wrists lmao.

@marcusg3824 3 года назад

I thought I was the only one who noticed. It’s amazing

@DONALDSON51 3 года назад

Or the way he swaps sides with his rifle without a care for the empty cases that will fly into his face :)

@ken7165 3 года назад

🤣🤣🤣

@roblangada4516 3 года назад

He puts the stock over his shoulder like its an RPG, amazing.

@anonymousdoggo8982 3 года назад

You can shoot any gun that way no problem. Especially a 12 gauge..... No shouldering required. You barely hold the gun and your trigger finger absorbs all the recoil for best accuracy. All 65 year old ultra special undercover secret black ops guys know this.

@geekers8644 4 года назад

the way he just says 'whats happenin' to a 5 year old romanian child killed me lmaoo

@devintariel3769 4 года назад

"CHE MA FARTS"

@zachary4279 4 года назад

“Was hanin”

@KimchiMaster 4 года назад

Hahahaha

@TheLordZoka 4 года назад

He might as well been like “How’s it hangin, lil’ n*gga?”

@SomeRandomJackAss 4 года назад

Does she even speak English? And if so, why?

@YouMakeItHappen 10 месяцев назад

I listen to this probably once a month

@filmer197 10 месяцев назад

lol me too,still funny :)

@drunkenmmamaster419 3 месяца назад

Same my favorite clip from CT

@threesixn1ne 2 месяца назад

I had a dividin' rods tells me there's gold in dem hillz.

@markusneulaniemi1704 2 месяца назад

at least tenth time for me.. everytime I hear his name I wound up here

@jamespuffer2889 Год назад

“He talks like a slave” My fucking sides are in orbit, I’m dying 😂

@bobvel7760 3 года назад

I feel like Steven farts a lot on set and the crew just has to deal with it.

@ultrashortbus 3 года назад

"It's like I always say, we have to blow it and we have to blow it now" ~ Steven Seagal [On Deadly Ground, 1994]

@JimKuback2009 3 года назад

He did shit his pants once after claiming his aikido training made him impervious to being choked unconscious. Somebody called his bluff and Segal let him try. Dude choked Segal out and Segal shit in his pants.

@skelldoom4329 3 года назад

Oh, thats a power fart. Thats how he asserts his dominance over the entire cast and crew.

@dinglegonzo 3 года назад

Sounds reasonable to assume that he farts on set.

@TheAceSpaceman 3 года назад

I think he's more the guy who shits with the door open and he even likes to talk while taking a shit...and he doesn't shit silent or normal, he might push and moan like a lot. But hey...he's the big star of the film.

@UhYeahNoThanks 3 года назад

The fact Seagal choses to remain completely clothed during the sex scene says to me that he's aware of how he looks

@terrybird993 3 года назад

or the woman only agreed to do the scene if he was fully clothed... dudes a real sleaze ball...

@pingpongpogo 3 года назад

Pretty sure the leather jacket is now a part of him.

@roberttimothy1338 3 года назад

Maybe just maybe he comes from the old school of thought that you don't get unclothed with a woman unless you are married to that woman. Dummy.

@thiagohenriquecoelhodesouz1795 3 года назад

@@roberttimothy1338 LOL

@ralphfi9591 3 года назад

Or may be his belly weight might physically prevent her from getting close

@awildwildwes 9 месяцев назад

"There's three human transactions in this movie" 10/10

@siegoloko7981 8 месяцев назад

“Limp wristly firing the gun” is brilliant

@Gumfondle 4 года назад

“Are you really as good as they all say you are?” “eryaghfjwnbs”

@musiclaboratory9694 3 года назад

Goddamn it that was fuckin hilarious

@andreipulosul1492 3 года назад

What did he actually say lmao

@weedwin7356 3 года назад

@@andreipulosul1492 'every once in a while' lmao

@fpsrtsgaming708 3 года назад

@@weedwin7356 *EVRYONCEANAWHILE*

@babbisp1 3 года назад

4:32

@pvanny 3 года назад

To use “Fatly” as an adverb genuinely kills me

@joeyeulo1489 3 года назад

I think "fatly" is my favorite new word 😂

@mattholt1388 3 года назад

I use it all the god damn time now

@HorizonPerson 3 года назад

And it fits perfectly 😂

@Neo2266. 3 года назад

Fatly, dumbly, uglyly

@euroshopperbier1337 3 года назад

rip

@thewardenofoz3324 Год назад

I gotta say, the editing here is top notch. When Nick switches gears, the clips also switch to match exactly what he's talking about.

@discingaround Год назад

40 years later he’s still flipping dozens of opponents by barely moving his finger, and sometimes he’s even seated. Some will say that it’s all staged and not real at all, but the Steven Seagal School of Pinky Fighting certifies each match so you know no cheating is happening. What an inspiration for us all.

@psplayer1344 Год назад

It's really noble of them to do that. I'm just not used to the big guy looking out for me. Perhaps we should worship him as a god?

@anthonyrosa4973 3 года назад

HE KEPT HIS JACKET ON FOR THE SEX SCENE LMFAO

@nickmattio3397 3 года назад

He’s got a lot of fun hidden things in his pockets

@adhhxgxhhg 3 года назад

It's a tactical move.

@brucewallace1600 3 года назад

@@nickmattio3397 whoop. Like that

@joeschmoe9154 3 года назад

Good lord ,,, Do you really want to see him without a shirt?

@sloaneisenbart9347 3 года назад

prolly pulls it out through his underwear to pee

@no-zz3br 4 года назад

"fatly coming around a corner"

@alexsullivan2957 3 года назад

Stellar

@RussellIser108 3 года назад

Priceless

@jasoncalicaveman 3 года назад

Exactly! I fell out of my chair 🤣

@heyimgoingtoplaysomegames 3 года назад

Holy fuck I gut chuckled so hard at this

@lea-rw5cb 3 года назад

Come on the guy is 68 yrs old

@chrisbardolph264 Год назад

I would have coughed an eyeball out of my socket from laughing if I was in the same room. "Weelll, I got a divining rod says there's GOLD in them hills!"

@GreekIrish 22 дня назад

This video got me into Cumtown and I haven't been the same since

@TukTukWorldwide 4 года назад

"this is my sister" "WHATS HAPP'NIN" holy shit i nearly fell off my chair

@Tom135 4 года назад

"Stranger danger!"

@FridgeLoud 4 года назад

😂😂😂

@TheWatchFrogs 4 года назад

I was laughing so hard I started to cry hahaha

@afrocoolio25 4 года назад

I about pissed myself. Wtf greets a little 6 or 7-year-old kid like that?

@Shadowboost 4 года назад

@@TheSchematican the little sister? Open up, this is the FBI

@jacksonmacpherson6101 3 года назад

Seagal is just the navy seal copypasta in human form.

@111Moose 3 года назад

😂

@reesesbeanses 3 года назад

more like gravy seal

@monke6776 3 года назад

More like Navy meal

@notinspectorgadget 3 года назад

More like big fat fuck

@wilfordbrimleypranks 3 года назад

More like buttered veal

@oneandy2 Год назад

The old guy is Dale Dye, retired USMC captain. He sometimes plays minor roles in films but his primary thing is consultant/trainer. He's been involved in a TON of great stuff from Band of Brothers to Platoon. I'm amazed he lowered himself to this level. I hope he charged Segal a shitload of money.

@itsconnorstime Год назад

Being in the same room as him must have been a huge blow to Seagals ego.

@warframeees8013 Год назад

The way he shoots the gun has me dying 😂

@ZX-ou5op 3 года назад

"Fatly going around corners..." I'm fucking dead.

@morzus6027 3 года назад

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@M1tjakaramazov 3 года назад

“His body sucks...” 😂

@kevinshaw4569 3 года назад

can tell u do not know what respect is shure can tell your mom and dad did not teach u it

@mrdantruckerman 3 года назад

One of the greatest lines ever said.lmao

@lucian5389 3 года назад

@@kevinshaw4569 I bet you walk fatly

@NCRRanger7753 2 года назад

"He's fatly going around corners." Lmfao 😂

@bluecheesehasmoldinit Год назад

He's gotta be very careful with those corners. He might pop like the balloon he is.

@corygriffiths4394 Год назад

Steven should be respected he’s the greatest Buffet Master of all time

@Simp_Zone Год назад

Sounds like yo mamma!

@legitbeans9078 Год назад

I feel bad for the corners. His weight could do some serious damage if and when he loses his balance while fatly moving near them.

@glenneric1 Год назад

Best adverb yet.

@Jukkala Год назад

I've easily watched this video five times and it still cracks me up. Using "fatly" as an adverb is the best part. Edit: I find myself watching this every day. It's better than an anti-depressant.

@chikitabowow 11 месяцев назад

7:35 I love that line so god damn much, "Fattily going around corners" made me cry laughing because it so encapsulates all of Steven Seagals movies from the last 30 years 🤣

@nvm7438 4 года назад

Him wearing his sunglasses while sniping is the funniest thing ever

@falkenfluegel 4 года назад

They even had to retouch the reflection of the sunglasses. You could probably see the camera in the reflection or something.

@OldSchool82 4 года назад

not to the guy he fuckin shot from 50 yards away,he was thinkn "thats the coolest mutherfucker ive ever see"**** (pink mist.)

@chrisvig123 4 года назад

It’s so realistic come on 😀💩💩💩💩

@anthonymiller934 4 года назад

@Southern Fun haha

@mikehawk1673 4 года назад

Jules D lol that’s not super far fetched I’ve shot my scoped rifle with my glasses on

@noaht5191 3 года назад

Steven Seagal is just living life doing what he wants, doing what he loves-Being fat and pretending to be a badass.

@TheChuckFina 3 года назад

It's the american dream. (Wipes tear)

@blyxx7450 3 года назад

Just like the rest of us lol

@noidontlikeu 3 года назад

@@TheChuckFina Russian, Serbian, and American dream

@arnaldogonzalez1678 3 года назад

The ideal lifestyle

@Zach_Wiberg 3 года назад

While also human trafficking and money laundering.

@Kellylovescats576 Год назад

You guys are hysterical. I could listen to this a 1000 times. 😂

@cardinalbeast24 9 месяцев назад

It’s a podcast called Cumtown lol, has since turned into The Adam Friedland Show

@hardcoreclassicenjoyer 7 месяцев назад

I've been back here twice in two days and a minimum of 5 times since I first watched it. It's pure joy

@SwissSauce 6 месяцев назад

“the russian mafia sounds pretty reasonable” FUCKING GOLD

@thedillonsmith1 4 года назад

I literally fell on the floor when I heard Seagal's voice and realized that they weren't exaggerating at all.

@norsemanbushcrafting1621 4 года назад

Proposition steve

@GochaProductions 4 года назад

I thought he was fucking kidding when he said they sold her to a pedophile.

@chunyi1618 4 года назад

norseman bushcrafting ooo

@JB_inks 4 года назад

Did you literally fall on the floor?

@Parrskey77 4 года назад

man what the fuck am i missing with his movies XD

@maat826 4 года назад

He craps these movies out for the foreign market. Seagal is literally and figuratively huge in Asia. They love the “black cowboy” voice

@stproducciones9140 4 года назад

he's the last bastion for the classic american action heroes the world fell in love with. ain't that sad? foreigners want Arnold but all they get is Seagal

@chvishal 4 года назад

maybe 20 years ago

@EliasPoint 4 года назад

Super popular with older Filipino men here

@lkcdarzadix6216 4 года назад

@@EliasPoint true with older Filipino but the young or that saw his peak in 90s can't stand him

@keithklassen5320 4 года назад

If you watch any animated Ghost In The Shell, the character Batou is based on him.

@Stravalnak 9 месяцев назад

I’ve only seen this video about 50 times and it already is one of my all time favourites.

@DodgaOfficial Год назад

Steven Seagal is definitely the movie star of all time, every movie he makes is a movie and it really shows the imagery on screen

@hardcoreclassicenjoyer 7 месяцев назад

Truly an actor of time.

@GarrisonFall Год назад

"Fatly going around corners". A brilliant description.

@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis Год назад

Dude that was so fucking hilarious because then they show the scene and that is EXACTLY what’s happening. It’s such an apt description.

@DefendYoungstown Год назад

@@MarieAntoinetteandherlittlesis yeah, just gut and gun barrel. A close second is where he's "limp-wristedly firing" and they show him just turn the gun like he's nonchalantly turning off an oversized water valve to shut off the yard sprinkler instead of actually participating in a firefight.

@jonathankeith6971 Год назад

It’s seriously one of my favorite lines. I come back to it every time and still giggle.

@Flat_Earth_Addy Год назад

lol

@mandlakei3053 3 месяца назад

😂😂😂😂😂

@caseytatum5837 3 года назад

steven seagal sounds like hes physically exerting himself just by talking

@Ramsey276one 3 года назад

HE EVEN LAGS LIKE A CHEAP COMPUTER!! XD

@johnt.campbell316 3 года назад

He is.

@aaronm97oh10 3 года назад

at this point in time - he's killing himself by simply talking outside of "slavery" accent

@Jeneric81 3 года назад

I can swear I saw a Seagal movie where it was obvious someone else was doing his ADR with a half assed impression.

@KEN-1991 3 года назад

No wonder why Seagal whispers everytime he talks, I can never hear a thing he’s saying most of the time.

@andrewmyles4712 Год назад

Stav’s laugh around 4:15 is my favorite thing and brings actual joy to my life. That and my wife and daughter

@skarloeythomas5172 Год назад

That’s gay. Literally, so well done.

@D00dman Год назад

I thought you were gay

@hydraliskin 9 месяцев назад

yeah its contagious :D

@Kevin-mx4vm 7 месяцев назад

Same, your wife and daughter.

@jaysalisbury193 6 месяцев назад

I can only agree with half of that sentiment. If you could see my wife, you'd understand why 😢 Turns out a once solid 3 doesn't get any better after 10 years, 4 kids and 50lbs, unfortunately.

@KPsTboy Год назад

If they were ever to make a biopic of Steven Seagull he should be played by Danny McBride.

@itsconnorstime Год назад

McBride would have to put weight on.

@KPsTboy Год назад

@@itsconnorstime Fair enough 😁

@Drazakhan_Dynasty 4 месяца назад

SEAGAL: A Life. Starring: Steven Seagal.

@austincanady4670 26 дней назад

@@Drazakhan_Dynasty guys, it should obviously be Will Sasso playing Steven Seagal in the biopic.

@MerkinMuffly 3 года назад

Don't mess with the Gravy Seals

@MrAdamske 3 года назад

bringing a whole new meaning to 'hot insertion' xD

@FreqBand 3 года назад

gray seals ?

@ArcherOmix 3 года назад

Meal Team 6, Semper Pie brother

@plmokm33 3 года назад

"The goddamn cook's a seal?!?!"

@Cocoponya 3 года назад

Lmao

@MeshuggahDave. 4 года назад

I would bet money Segal watches his own movies, often.

@babymammoth34 3 года назад

I have very little difficulty believing he does.

@zyala 3 года назад

I remember one story of segal’s talent agent walking in to see him sobbing in front of computer. He asked Segal why and segal said, “I think I just read the best damn script ever written.” His agent replied “Hang on, I didn’t forward you any new scripts. Who’s this one by?” And Segal turns to him to whisper, “Me.”

@geneambas8714 3 года назад

@@zyala The story is from Rob Schneider

@Sandwich420 3 года назад

I bet he's never even seen a movie in his life

@MOON1388 3 года назад

Narrating along the way

@karnagilgamesh3095 Год назад

"Just fatly going around corners." Incredible 😂 This guy's amazing.

@rebeccageorgesisto8965 Год назад

Oh my god…that discussion was one of the funniest things I’ve heard in a while. I was DYING

@quezbot3663 3 года назад

"That means one of us has to die." Said Steven Seagal to the bacon double cheeseburger.

@leighbelk769 2 года назад

The burger got revenge later, by giving Seagal terrible diarrhea.

@leighbelk769 2 года назад

@Casey R. Fair.

@quakethedoombringer 2 года назад

@@leighbelk769 more like a cardiac arrest

@leighbelk769 2 года назад

@@quakethedoombringer Yeah, makes sense.

@thanktink4328 2 года назад

Hahahahahahahah

@DieForDethklok11 4 года назад

he talks like robert downey junior in tropic thunder talking about the jeffersons

@anthonymiller934 4 года назад

YES!! That's exactly the character I was thinking. Downey killed that role!

@M2Mil7er 4 года назад

and looks like Danny McBride has been playing him for the last 15 years,

@scottthomas9022 4 года назад

@@M2Mil7er Now I want to make a Steven Segal Movie but swap out Danny McBride and not tell anyone. Put Segal in the credits, and on the poster. But when you see the movie it's Just Danny McBride

@Salamander676 4 года назад

He's got a little Chicano twang in his voice too

@NickHunter 4 года назад

"whayddya mean 'you people'?"

@_TheDarkHalf Год назад

The accuracy of the voice impression before hearing him talk literally ☠️

@subkreature 11 месяцев назад

Seagal also insists on this editing technique that involves removing frames in action scenes to make him appear to move faster and hit harder. I love it.

@hamnchee 3 года назад

Segal sounds like Robert Downey Jr as the black guy in Tropic Thunder.

@kevinthomas2906 3 года назад

Ha! Lincoln Osiris!

@franmadaraki616 3 года назад

RDJ is far more better

@tehrobotjesus 3 года назад

@Rocky Dennis do you mean Robert Downey Syndrome?

@PaulieAFantoneJays19 3 года назад

That's an insult to the character in Tropic Thunder! 😂😝😂

@CharacterMatterz 3 года назад

@Michael W there you are... I knew I wasn't the only one 😁

@deathknigt3000 3 года назад

Seagal really looked at a 6 year old and went “wus hapnen?” like she’s an old friend of his.

@dotson9118 3 года назад

Alpha move

@tommygunmitvierm724 3 года назад

He was just geniunely confused about what was going on. His age is taking a toll on him.

@breadwilson9865 3 года назад

I thought the same thing.

@frecklenuckle4450 3 года назад

highkey autistic as fuck

@mrniceguy7168 3 года назад

I immediately had to pause and go to the comments section to see if anyone noticed that. That’s how I say hello to black guys at work

@SUBtrauma 6 дней назад

I've listened to this clip a thousand times and I still die laughing every time

@JSterling812 10 дней назад

i love how this sounds like something i'd hear on the radio on a long drive, i love it. i love these kinds of talk shows.

@Cracktaculus Год назад

Much respect for this man of men. Former Meal Team 6, Gravy Seals AND Green Buffet.

@ismay33l Год назад

😂😂😂

@ieat10kittens94 Год назад

Ace in the chair force too

@LaithNight Год назад

Overdosed on laughing by this one 😂

@Cracktaculus Год назад

@@ieat10kittens94 Top Sirloin Gun

@northstarsixtysix Год назад

brilliant

@KidCorporate 3 года назад

Fun fact: dude I shoot with was an armorer on a few of his direct-to-landfill films, he said Segal would stack two McDonalds chicken sandwiches one on top of another then eat them both at the same time.

@bradleyruest6863 3 года назад

You’ve never stacked 2 McChickens and scarfed em down? Lol what a loser

@fazerfaze 3 года назад

That's normal

@jthreefingers8445 3 года назад

Heard Steven Seagal is going on a diet. One cow instead of 2.

@ThjyuGaming 3 года назад

Bruh McChickens hit different

@jthreefingers8445 3 года назад

@@ThjyuGaming And I'm sure it was just a snack.

@terminal.man02 Год назад

3:08 old man impersonation is too funny 🤣

@hardcoreclassicenjoyer 7 месяцев назад

This is a roast for the ages. I come back to this from time to time out of pure joy.

@T33K3SS3LCH3N 2 года назад

This part cannot be said often enough: They used a body double whenever he had to walk stairs. They never show his face and he's noticeably thinner in those shots.

@jorgvonameln7819 2 года назад

but the double has to wear a fat suit to look like old Stevie :)

@Brandon-bc1fz 2 года назад

@@jorgvonameln7819 and has to walk slower to keep the same pace that Stevan would.

@maliant16 2 года назад

Please say this is a joke.

@RenegadeShepard69 2 года назад

What, so he just never moves at any point in his life? Haha what a human sloth.

@DefendYoungstown 2 года назад

"We need to send our *best* Special Forces guy, and he spends half the movie in a chair!" ... and the other half he apparently spends off set while the body double moves around a lot.

@Barbaroossa 2 года назад

"he's just fatly going around the corner" - that's fucking brilliant, nearly shit myself laughing at this

@zk0rned 2 года назад

unlike Seagal that actually shit himself

@StarHarvestOfficial 2 года назад

@@zk0rned *Adam

@zk0rned 2 года назад

@@StarHarvestOfficial Seagal*

@Zergrush66 2 года назад

I died hahahahahah

@SubjectE57 2 года назад

"fatly" is my new favourite adverb.

@daxxx9366 Месяц назад

I wonder how many times I’ve watched this video.

@sumpterino Год назад

7:34 I love that line so god damn much, "You see him sneaking into some building, fattily going around corners" 🤣

@jennyanydots2389 3 года назад

Seagal is very successful at being unintentionally hilarious. Imagine if he had even the slightest amount of self awareness, he'd be making a fortune as an action-comedy star.

@WorldWidePatriots 3 года назад

Glad I came back to see this comment. Do you think it would still be funny?or lose the magic of he knew and did it on purpose.

@jennyanydots2389 3 года назад

@@WorldWidePatriots Yes, I think it would still be funny if he became self aware and did it on purpose. It's not simply mocking himself that makes it amusing, it's mocking the fake tough guy persona and over the top absurd action movie genre that's amusing. Movies like the expendables still do just fine even though the actors and writers are aware of the self parody. By not being self aware he comes off as straight pathetic. Still funny, but, in a sad way that most emotionally healthy people tend to ignore, hence the lack of financial success and tendency for more of a mean spirited mocking then a good natured ribbing.

@FOUL_TROUBLE 3 года назад

by Seagal do you mean Tom Myers?

@6slice712 3 года назад

So very true 🤣 🤣

@swans184 3 года назад

JCVD has done exactly that

@PanasonicTooth 3 года назад

I like that Steven Seagal either has or will see this video, and he'll inevitably say the words "Cum Town" out loud at some point.

@AlbertoGonzalez.. 3 года назад

😂😂😂

@papayer 3 года назад

*inhale* cum townuhh *exhale*

@zaab-yaoh9302 3 года назад

Y’all play too much

@JonnyInfinite 3 года назад

The title of his next film should be Cum on Town

@timcosgrove707 3 года назад

"Whozis Nick Mullen muhfugga?"

@rog9317 8 месяцев назад

I was linked to this video from Reddit. This made me laugh harder than a good stand-up comedian. I was crying! This video is so good! Keep up the nice and funny work!

@user-dg1jq5rd2c 7 месяцев назад

Lmao same! The question was who was the most pathetic washed up actor. This has me deceased. Best thing I’ve seen all day.

@wade6282 4 месяца назад

That's because they are good stand up comedians.

@dslrjunkie Год назад

if Steven Seagal was a nurse he would wake up patients to give them sleeping pills at 2AM.

@ColinFowler 3 года назад

Neighbor: "This is my Sister" Seagal: "Whats hannenin"

@StewartLucrative 3 года назад

I read this comment before I saw that part of the video and it made it so much funnier.

@Binford-ei6ge 3 года назад

My future pick-up line for all eternity.

@phillipbailey70 3 года назад

100% honestly - I laughed at this comment for over 30 seconds, and every time I re-read it I start again (laughing as I type even) 😆😂🤣

@maximumcutsandreps5833 3 года назад

He talks like RDJ in tropic thunder.

@youwebz 2 года назад

SURVIVE!

@brandonbueno6623 2 года назад

Looks like him too without the fro

@michaelalfandary1643 2 года назад

I believe he went full black like Ben Stiller went full tard

@MrRoss-jz7fx 2 года назад

Yes but RDJ was GREAT!

@Opi_812 2 года назад

For 300 years... That word has kept us down...

@nyceplayz8051 Год назад

9:14 😂😂😂 he says to the little girl "wus hapnin'!?" 😂😂😂 Oh, ow, my spleen 😂

@Notjay95 Год назад

It’s amazing how many details these guys can remember and quote off the cuff

@phillipwattsjr.4714 3 года назад

"WE NEED OUR BEST SPECIAL FORCES OPERATIVE!!!" A 300 pound, barely mobile Steven Seagal enters the chat. 🤣🤣🤣

@WickedGonza 3 года назад

He is like 360 at least lol

@blaxpoitation8528 3 года назад

A 300 lbs 70 yr old with a widows peak that puts Vegeta to shame. And he somehow smashes these 20 something yr old broads in all his movies. Priceless..

@nickmattio3397 3 года назад

“I’m putting a team together, we’re meeting at Dunkin’ Donuts in 30 min”

@ongogablogian3178 3 года назад

Lol barely mobile

@phillipwattsjr.4714 3 года назад

@WungusBill "Ah'ma snatch every muthafucka birthday!"

@addictionhypnotherapist1241 2 года назад

Woman: “And this is my sister” Steven to 5yo child: “whazz hapnin” 😂😂😂

@br0mouzone 2 года назад

I died when I heard that

@Deadassbruhfrfr 2 года назад

Bro, I was in sitiches

@Pr3st0ne 2 года назад

He sounds more like a Tom Segura impression of himself than he sounds like Steven Seagal lmao

@gregorteply9034 2 года назад

So awkward.

@skelter1153 Год назад

He's very silly but he's a world famous, self made Millionaire. The immeasurable LUCK he's had throughout his career can't be overstated.

@YouTubeIsNotGood Год назад

You forgot to add Russian asset, because he wants his daddy Putin's approval

@Flood520 19 дней назад

Some call it luck, some call it an entire lifetime of laundering money for the Russian Mafia.

@decgar07 Год назад

The fact people keep funding his movies is amazing and I'm so thankful to them.

@grantvanosdel1747 Год назад

That female actress deserves an oscar for keeping a straight face during that scene asking “if he’s as good as they say he is”

@iainrickwood2623 Год назад

That 'female' actress; as opposed to those male actresses I guess

@TheReelDealFilmReviews Год назад

I think the woman in the sex scene deserves an Oscar 🤣

@qupation7296 Год назад

@@iainrickwood2623 ey, listen. These days gender is a tricky topic. You COULD have a male actress. Don't ask me how please.

@yrudonking Год назад

@@TheReelDealFilmReviews she deserves free therapy for life

@pedrovara4712 Год назад

@@TheReelDealFilmReviews that woman deserves way more than that

@jamiecunningham7248 4 года назад

"fatly going round corners" hahahahahahhahhaa

@scuba9273 4 года назад

7:36

@scottcantdance804 4 года назад

Yeah, I laughed my ass off at the invention of the adverb "fatly".

@hakont.4960 4 года назад

@@scottcantdance804 Best part is that the adverb really describes how he's moving.

@ThunderDomeBoxingTalk 8 дней назад

“I love my sister. Her puzzy isnt ruined” 😂😂 omg I’m dying over here

@Gabagool93 9 месяцев назад

I come back to this just about every month.

@jonathankozenko 2 года назад

My favorite quote about him is “With every movie he makes, his gut gets bigger and his audience gets smaller.”

@rickkarsan4491 2 года назад

because he eats them.

@novemberalpha6023 2 года назад

🤣🤣🤣🤣

@bullfrogboss8008 2 года назад

His eyes also get smallee

@PrincessofPower84 2 года назад

I think i heard it first on MXC

@jonathankozenko 2 года назад

@@PrincessofPower84 Hells yeah! That's indeed where it's from!

@uome20bukz 2 года назад

I swear I saw a scene somewhere not long ago from one of his recent movies where his character walks up some stairs, only it was an obvious stunt double. Literally used a stunt double to walk up some stairs.

@DavidLoveOfficial 2 года назад

🤣🤣🤣

@eli3197 2 года назад

Do you know the name of the movie?

@Odinsday 2 года назад

Seagal is on the verge of having a heart attack every time he stands up. No wonder he has his stunt doubles do the walking for him.

@Yoda-em5mt 2 года назад

No that was when he was young and fat he climbed a stair thats one stair then sat down .

@uome20bukz 2 года назад

@@Yoda-em5mt idk what you’re talking about but, no. Whatever you said is absolutely not what I’m talking about.

@digitalta Год назад

This is exactly what I needed for my sunday morning. Thank you!

@cparkes92 Месяц назад

7:37 "fatly going around corners"

@byteme9718 Год назад

Seagal is the most convincing actor ever. In every movie he plays Steven Seagal perfectly, even the same voices are the same. He's a genius.

@Sofus. Год назад

Half of Steven Seagal's Film are dubded because he couldn't be bother to pronounce words properly.😂

@sigismund1617 Год назад

@@Sofus. Yeah what is that all about? There's that vampire film wherein he speaks maybe 2 minutes, the rest is bad, bad dubbing.

@elithetruth23 Год назад

😂😂😂

@elijahfreeman5299 Год назад

His range is extraordinary....

@connorcamron1308 Год назад

He’s been a trained thespian for 127 years

@jasoncampbell1507 Год назад

'He's fully clothed and she's naked, he's still wearing sunglasses.' I had to grab a glass of water because I choked a little on my own laughing tears just now.

@Joecbg100 Год назад

That's very Neil Breen of him

@lookronjon Год назад

He only wants to do himself.

@goodallbeckman944 Год назад

I was watching at the bus stop and I legit dropped on my knees. Good shit

@davidpowell6098 Год назад

Easy ride, though, smack his arse, and ride the ripples. Job done.

@hansonjames3792 Год назад

@@Joecbg100😊😅

@kev1734 2 месяца назад

This puts me into fucking tears EVERY time I watch it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@StickyBud9395 Год назад

I had never seen a Steven Seagal movie before , after watching these unintentionally funny movies , I'm hooked and I'm going to search for his movies , these are better than most real comedies .

@jesuschristiscallingyou953 Год назад

Thing is he can act decently, but the always cheesy dialog and plots ruins his movies. I have to say, though, that the color grading in his movies is always good.

@einundsiebenziger5488 8 месяцев назад

Your punctuation is the equivalent of the editing in S.S. movies.

@StickyBud9395 8 месяцев назад

@@einundsiebenziger5488 I'm not sure if you're aiming your remarks at me , if you're I don't really care what you say , I've have more important problems in my life , if your remarks aren't directed at me , then I need not have bothered replying , either way may I wish you peace , I'm a nice person sometimes .

@Epoch11 3 года назад

"fatly" that is the perfect word to describe anything that Steven seagal does

@4midable4ce 2 года назад

😆😆7:35. That shit gave me the giggles.

@seltzer30 2 года назад

fatly fart noise at 52s

@guyofminimalimportance7 4 года назад

Modern Steven Seagal movies are effectively trying to convince you that a man who's probably older, in worse health, and honestly less attractive than your own father is a badass.

@spitalhelles3380 4 года назад

not effective

@Walks-With-Fists 4 года назад

critically effective! 😂

@ferise1 4 года назад

Guy of Minimal Importance reminds me of Tom Segura’s bit.

@Hubert_Cumberdale_ 3 года назад

He is older, in worse health and less attractive than my father and my dad is a fucking alcoholic.

@HC-qc5rp 7 месяцев назад

That ending with the Clangers Banger and the explosion was slick as hell

@Aidanshaves99 Год назад

This made me laugh so damn hard. I can’t thank you enough

@HighLordBlazeReborn 2 года назад

The more I hear about this guy, the more I'm convinced his entire career now is to be a front for money laundering.

@thomasp2516 2 года назад

He has shady dealings with Balkan countries. He is friends with Vladimir Putin and obtained the Serbian nationality in 2016. When I visited Montenegro I remember him being at the opening of a luxury resort. He's a sellout.