I feel like I knew better and made a conscious choice. It was in a period of intense grief I had just lost my best friend and I’m so ashamed I’m afraid of karma. That may be irrational but that is how bad it hurt me and afraid I hurt her.
Hind sight is 20/20. In sorry to hear that you lost them. I can only imagine how painful that was for you. But you can’t blame yourself! Learn the lessons that you can from it, celebrate the good times you had with them, grieve the time lost with them or any regrets, but you have to forgive yourself because holding a grudge (even if it’s against yourself) will only hold you back. And honestly that’s something I am learning too. Being gracious with myself isn’t easy, but as I have become less harsh with me, I’ve become more confident and assertive with others. It makes a difference!
@@REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh thank you for your kind words. During her illness (ovarian cancer) I told myself that I didn’t want to have any regrets. It was hard at the last moment I created the very thing I didn’t want, regret! No one teaches you how to lose a best friend she was only 37😢
I am witnessing you with so much compassion, Sara ❤️ My full video on this might help a little more (ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-GL015JlHwbM.html), but if therapy is accessible to you, I suggest look into unpacking this with a professional. ❤️