I once heard a comedian say "The people that matter, don't mind. The people who mind, don't matter". I have for years hated the thought of being misunderstood or for people to know things about me that aren't true. My mum would often rewrite history when telling anecdotes about me to family and friends. Her aim was always to make a funny story and have a laugh at my expense. Years later a so-called friend at school regularly spread false information about me in order to turn friends against me. So I think the effect of these people has influenced the way I present myself and need to explain myself or reinforce my position or opinions on things.
Thank you Paul, Ive left a possible Covert Narcissist, and am now starting Divorce process. I find i over explain my reasons for leaving him in the first place. As he was generous, smiley and fun , outwardly. Thanks for this pep talk today. Peace to you.❤
Paul, I have spent my whole life, from childhood up, overthinking and over explaining myself! I have heard so many explanations, and yes, I came from an intelligent but dysfunctional family, but your words really hit home. Over explaining myself HAS been fear based, I often felt on trial growing up, being thrown under the bus by a sibling and then having to explain my actions, words, etc. which sometimes weren’t always true! Then on occasions I would anticipate what I may be accused of and prepare my defence! I now fully understand what has been going on! Thank you! 🙏🙏🙏
"If I had a prayer, it would be this: 'God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, and appreciation. Amen.'" ~Byron Katie. This quote from her totally changed me. My anxiety dropped drastically, and I feel free. This video validates this very thing!
Thanks I needed to hear this; I've always had the need to explain. It probably is the PTSD talking...it's been so exhausting...no wonder I always feel tired all the time
What I have trouble with is how to respond when someone wants an explanation. I 've read about 2 ways to respond but want to know if there are more ways as well. 1- Tell the other person " because that's what I decided to do" Or 2- Remain silent.
Thank you, we often just need to have someone say what we already know anyway, validation is a wonderful thing. People who bully or know too much think they have this inert right to quiz you, and i have started to tell them less and less, we need to tell them less and less to remove thier power over us, bullies and manipulators need to be put in there place too.
Yeah, I'll stop explaining myself. I'll just quit telling everybody what and how I'm doing beause nobody gives a shit about how I spend my time or what's going on with me. If they ask, it's only to ask. Yes, people only talk to talk. When you tell people without being asked they do one or more of the following: *Make smartass remarks *Ignore you *Only talk about themselves *Only pretend to be interested So it's best to keep your mouth shut and go about your business. Then you'll be on solid ground.
I needed to hear this. Thank you. As a woman of color who has to navigate in predominantly white spaces, I am exhausted! Being expected to represent EVERY BLACK PERSON IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN CHATTLE SLAVERY, has taken its toll on me. Again, thank you.
It is a difficult place to have your integrity questioned based on heresay alone. It is ultimately a good place to be, by sitting calmly and letting things play out as they need to.
