Stop Letting People Control Your Emotions 

I'd love to hear - what connected with you from this talk?

Nothing is as personal as we make it out to be. People’s behavior are usually a reflection of internal things. So focus on yours, & let others focus on theirs 🤗

“I don’t need to change them in order for me to feel ok.” This one really hit me. ❤

You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to. (My favorite meme I saw last week)

All people have an element of toxicity to them... we don't need to run every time...but learn to manage our reaction to them. Sometimes no reaction is the best reaction.

"Don't give rental space to others in your head that don't belong to be there in the first place"!

DING! DING! Childhood bullying. Lots of wounds + being highly sensitive.

Some people will never be accountable for their thoughtlessness or arrogance.. they are often weak and insecure... no you don't need to react to them.. they feed off it.

This is such a crucial thing to learn!! Letting other people dictate how we feel can be damaging in the long run

As an empathy and a very highly sensitive person, this is something I struggle daily with. It does have to be just words it can be energy that is overwhelming 🙏🧘🏻‍♀️💗😇

The control thing is huge for me. Around very angry people who try to control others.

I’m growing just by getting Away from extremely difficult toxic narcissistic people

I have been dealing with extremely challenging people for almost 70 years. I need a break. I will gladly remove myself from their presence. I am not interested in learning anything. At my age, I shouldn't have to dodge or analyze other people's BS.

I am a world traveler. I encounter plenty of challenging experiences. I actually do remove difficult people from my life. I have also closed out my social media accounts. I can't imagine ever being able to completely rid our world of uncomfortable experiences, but I personally don't waste my time and energy in useless emotional combat. My family alone gives me more than enough triggering experiences. I even limit my time with them. I do examine my feelings and reactions, but I also don't feel the need to immerse myself in other people's crap.

Sometimes you can't remove the negative and bad people. However, you can control your thoughts and actions towards them. I can choose to ignore them. I can also choose to do things that keep my mind off the situation.

When ppl try to distract me with their negative energy I give them a blank look and follow my path. I control what gets my attention. ☺️💝

That’s a great quote. A situation doesn’t go from bad to worse, it goes from bad to managed”. Very good.

People telling me or others what to do...? When they have no business doing so, drives me up the wall The ones telling others what they "should" do or not do

This was on point for me. My triggers are someone trying to control me. I've learned this come from being raped and molested by family members when I was young. So now that I'm older I will not accept anyone to control anything about me.

This saved me from messing up my new friendship from a disagreement. Instead of lashing out I waited a few minutes to respond and asked myself why I’m feeling angry and that her comments don’t control me

I never thought of triggers as avenues of learning and growth..always avoided people/events ! What a great perspective.! Also, I could choose to let it go ( every one has the right to their own opinion) or , I take a step back , deep breaths, curiosity, connect with my feelings..Yes! You are such a gift!❤️❤️

I love that you said that difficult people is part of our growing. Sometimes it isn't possible to get away from difficult people.

This kind of work is so exhausting that’s why people don’t go there. I relate to your intensity and it is when others want to get away because they don’t want to get aware... as they pick up a drink or smoke. Then you are vulnerable for people to turn on you and attack your behavior. Gaslighting can happen. People are always wanting to control others and sometimes we have no choice. Breathe. I am treated with disrespect when reaching out to reason with certain people because they have things to hide. Accepting we can’t make things right sometimes is key in certain situations. Your sanity is valuable. Pick your battles.

This is so deeply engrained in me, people affect me waaay too much. There are time when i don't care at all what people think I love that feeling it's so freeing but in the end it doesn't last because I really do care and it doesn't help that I don't have any one who truly gets who I am. But I'm working on it i guess?? lol

The key message that I took away from this video is the usage of triggers as an opportunity to grow in the hope of being more in control of our emotions, not give our power away to other people and eventually reach some inner peace. I believe that in the end, this is what we all want. Thank you for sharing this video!

AHA MOMENT: “I don’t need this person to see things my way”. There it is. Not getting this extremely important reality is probably the cause of diving into drama and drama triangles in the first place. The “I don’t need this person to see things my way” understanding is amazing. It’s like saying NO to your ego when it demands (not asks) for the launch code sequence to a nuclear missile inside it’s defence arsenal! You are a very authentic and connected speaker with some great insights. Thank you.

This lady talks nothing but truth it all makes sense. Breath of fresh air 🙏

Standing ovation. I have issues with people controlling me or being bossy cos of how I was bought up. This revealed that for me

Why I’m listening to this I’m thinking about an incident the other day which affected me and I do let people control my emotions so much. 😔

One thing I learned is letting go,of things and people that do not serve you negative, and we are responsible for our own happiness.

My favorite quote: Fight the fights that need fighting, and not necessarily only the fights you can win decisively. There are those marathon battles over big issues that will take lots of time to effect positively-- one step at a time even a mountain can be moved, like cleaning up the environment

I just learned that this has been my problem all of these years. Had I heard this earlier in life, I could have saved myself a whole lot of grief. Thank you for such a great message.

If you can't afford a therapist your Chanel is a great site for help with life and relationships problems. Thank you for sharing your skills.

You control your emotions by staying away from them

Every few days I am over reactive because of someone’s moods or actions then I do have a bad day and usually cause myself problems with all others I interact with that day. Thx for this video 🧡

I absolutely love how you express yourself! All the information you share is so helpful

Hi. Thank you. This was a goodie. I think my trigger is criticism...the more my kids and hubby criticise me, the more I withdraw and hide from the world. I guess I have some work to do.😊

I have been getting triggered alot. Especially with the people closest to me like my partner and my son. Once I get triggered I tend to hold on to that negative emotion and not let it go and begin to self-isolate for day or sometimes even a couple of days. What you said about trusting yourself hasn't really hit me much lately until you related it to allowing others to control my emotions. I notice that I allow how others react (typically in a negative way or what I see as negative thinking and responses) dictate my response. It makes me feel VERY uncomfortable and I don't LIKE IT at ALL! Especially when I'm seeing the negative day in and day out, it effects me alot! I can only take so much. I believe this might be due to my childhood but I haven't explored it much lately. I definitely want to learn how to STOP Letting others control my emotions! Thank you for making these videos!

I existed with mental illness over 40 years which I helped navigate with medications. However, now that I’m in the proximity of my 73rd birthday, I feel that I have lived with my brain cluttered and resistant to change. I have allowed my delusions of other people having control of me is realistic and I have the ability to achieve harmony within myself by following your recommendations. Thank you.

I was aware that I did this but I didn't know how much it actually affected me. Just the other day in conversation my older brother said something that "triggered" me. I felt this wave of emotions come up. In the past I would have lashed out in anger and left. This time I let the comment slip by and held in those emotions. Once the conversation had ended I left the situation. I know I have made progress with this, I just am not sure if it is in the right direction. Thank you for this reminder.

Mindful distress tolerance!

This is so me !!!! 56 years old married 30 years and every time my husband looks at me wrong I get my feelings hurt and I'm that way with family members that I can't stand to be around I try to avoid going to get togethers and I'm getting worse with all these things instead of better . Thank you for sharing these great tips . I just found you today in search of help .

When ever something “heavy “comes up, I don’t know how to stop the anger

the heartbreaking moment you realise you never ever had a girlfriend that ever actually loved you their just loved your status and lifestyle glad you was here so I didn't over react

I’m new here. I needed this today!! I’ve been avoiding a lot of people.

Thanks, Julia! The story about the triggering post resonated with me. A colleague sent me an email in which I felt I was being attacked and I sat for 40 minutes thinking about how I was going to respond. Now I am exploring the reason that email triggered me.

Please talk more about control triggers and how we can work on it. Thanks for all the info you shared.

no one is in charge of your feelings but you.♡

Some people bait others online,just waiting for an argument. Pass them by.

This had me in tears. This is exactly how I’ve been dealing with things in the past. I really needed this! Thank you or your vulnerability!

I’m sorry you’ve been thru this but I’m glad to know I’m not alone and crazy. This makes so much sense ty again

Thank you! I'm challenged when I feel that I'm being manipulated. Too often I overreact then feel mortified. I appreciate your video because it helps me understand the what and why I respond the way I do. Signing up for your course on how to trust myself. Even at 61, never too old to learn and to enjoy life! Thanks again!

Were back, me and my hubby! He has OCD and depression and you help him and me immensely!

Working on recovering from narcissist abuse. Instead of taking it as a negative, looking at what I need to work on and grow.

Great video! Thank you! Remember, arguing on the internet is like stepping in shit on purpose.

This is something I really struggle with when dealing with difficult / challenging people at work. It can really put me in a foul mood for the rest of the day and I don't want to speak to the person concerned as a result. Hopefully your video can help me work through this 🙏.

For ten years my partner and I have found it increasingly difficult to tolerate some behaviour which became far worse at the start of the pandemic and the local lockdown. As adults we had come to realise that we are both quite fragile mentally and this has had a profound impact on how we cope with people like that. I believe that person somehow sensed this and exploited it for a decade, particularly over the last year. I look back now and see the gaslighting and bullying we have put up with unnecessarily. To cut a long story short I let two things be known to them and it paid off. If only I had realised ten years ago what I know now because, although the situation isn't perfect, things are far more in our favour than they ever have been. Despite that we continue to be affected by what has happened, and to a degree still is happening. I realised while on an exercise bike that if I think about it the heart rate monitor shows it. I checked my blood pressure today, after another encounter, and it was reflected there too. So I'm in a situation where it isn't just my mental state that is being affected, it is actually making me unwell. I know that if I can lessen the effect of that trigger it will make a huge difference mentally and physically. Much of the problem originates not with what has happened in recent years but with things that happened so long ago I can hardly remember them. This video has made me realise that control is being exerted over me by someone who has absolutely no right to that power. I just have a lot of days when I haven't got it in me to challenge it and it's exhausting.

I'm so impressed by how you use no jumpcuts, but are so articulate. and as always your content is fantastic! I'm proud to say i took a moment to look inwards this morning when something my father said triggered annoyance in me and i nearly lashed out in response. but instead i wondered why i felt this way, and found out that his likely innocent comment was being interpreted by me as an insult. it was fascinating, and I'm glad i didn't lash out at him. thank you for the video, I'm going to keep trying!

Julia, I am new to your channel. I found your video clips very useful. I sent some of your clips to my clients. My clients said that they applied your information to their daily life. Thank you very much for posting. I greatly appreciate you!

I have a control trigger too! 💕❤️ you’re just what I needed

Just happened on this. It was at such a good time as I am going through a few things. I find I do this all the time. Thank you for the advice. It is going to be a long road for my healing.

So good!..this is such an important discussion..thank you🌈🌸💕

Oh girl.... You literally must have been posting this video at the exact moment this was happening to me yesterday. I was with a client all day who was being very emotional. I was trying so hard to help her but she was stressed out and complaining which triggered my need to feel appreciated. It made me feel yucky and not enough. Looking back on this (and what I am going to have to be aware of more often because it happens to me all the time), I can see that the way she was acting was due to her own stuff and I don't have to take on that drama. Also, I can see I have a need to feel appreciated and accepted because of my own wounds from childhood and never feeling good enough. I need to work on that as well. I get triggered a lot too. Thank You for your Light!

This makes SO much sense, thank you Julia!!

I have struggled with this in my intimate relationships. I ran away from a relationship because I was triggered and within 2 days realized how wrong I was and I could not repair the damage. . 6 months later I am still sad.

Thank you for your insight!!!❤️🙏🏻

This is such good wisdom. I’m crying as I watch/listen. So so true!! Thank you. So helpful & needed.

I love the ‘get curious’, it’s doing me wonders already! Thank you ❤ You’re 💪

Thank you for all that you do for so many of us🙏 Happy holidays to you and your family💗💐

Thank you for this explanation. I needed to hear this.

So great to find you! On my own & have passed your channel on to so many others. Thank you for being there☺️

Julia thank you for taking your time and reaching out to help people! We appreciate it.

I know this is good advice. I believe life is one big school and I’ve found myself in the same situation over and over, I realize I’m avoiding the lesson as long as I keep running from it

Your videos are always very helpful, thank you Julia! ❤️

This is a fantastic talk, Julia. I really related to how you described the process of managing uncomfortable emotions triggered by interactions with awkward people, and benefits of doing so.

Thank you. Becoming curious about another person’s reaction to us or our own reaction to another person are both so valuable. It allows for the space to think about the feeling rather than simply have the feeling. Especially when the feeling is so strong that it is manifesting in the body which is essentially interpreting the heart

Thank you. Stop, Think, Act. Beautiful healing message. Keep going!

Really needed to hear your words today after a challenging phase. Thank you 🙏🏽

Yes, Julia, I loved it. Thank you! 😊❤

I'm so SOOO Proud of you Miss Julia Kristina! Bravo!👏

Thank you so much for this video! 💗

I’m so happy to have found your channel! Great content.

This was a fantastic video!! This helps me a LOT!! THANK YOU!! I will be doing this from now on!

Thank you for sharing Julia. Very insightful

Thank you so much for this video❤️. It really helped see my emotional triggers 😊

You are good!! Learning to trust yourself is HUGE!!!!!! Thank you for this video!!

I was just thinking about this very thing a few minutes before this popped up. Good talk. Subscribed!

Thank you Julia, this was clear and very helpful!

I needed to hear this today!! Thank you SO VERY MUCH!!

Thank you! I love that you addressed this trend of cutting people out of your life when things are difficult. I keep seeing that when seeking advice and cutting everyone out that is unhealthy is just not an option for me. And like you said, that escapist mentality is just not even a healthy approach. These people exist and we need to know how to deal with them.

Thanks for the clarity ...

Thank you, thank you for this! I appreciate you reminding me and everyone else that instead of running away, I should endure and face those kinds of people. I always use my music to cover my ears when I don't want to hear something bad people said about me. I don't want to absorb the negativity they say so that's my response. But truth to be told, I'd have to deal with them at some point in my life. I may have gotten away at the moment I'd want to but for sure there'd be situations that I won't be able to get out. Sometimes I can endure people like this, sometimes I just flip out. It's hard to pretend all the time. There was a comment that someone disagreed with me. I had to stop and think whether I'd waste my time explaining my opinion or not. I did not respond in the end because that's my opinion! I don't need to feed in their toxic negativity. I felt triggered but I'm glad I held back.

Thanks Júlia, you are the best.

I really found this video helpful, it was especially helpful that you brought up examples from your own experiences because I was able to relate to them.

Thank you for this video my friend!

thank you so much. I needed this :)

Thanks this video changed my perspective on someone saying stupid to me and reacting very emotionally in my head

I needed to hear this video. I had an incident at work that really affected me emotionally. You really helped me understand why I reacted the way I did. Thank you so much!

So difficult at times to not take hurtful comments from people as a personal attack, bcoz of course it's been said to me! But maybe theyre just reflecting the pain with what's going on within themselves and they see a certain person as an easy target to aim the insults at. Especially if they can see that person is considerate of people's feelings and would not say the same back! A scapegoat so to speak, but why waste the energy, just walk away!

Thank you for saying what I've been thinking for a long time watching some of these videos. It validates my personal belief that the idea of cutting out so-called toxic people is not necessarily the way to go. After all we can all be toxic at some point in our lives depending on what's going on. I'm sure there is the rare extreme case where this needs to be done. However for most people managing our reactions to them I think, as you say, is perhaps a better way of going about things.