10 Things That Will Get Better When You Love Yourself 

If you are reading this I just want to say that in no way are you not valuable or loved.

Retired a year ago. My philosophy now is that I no longer put up with people's crap. After many years of dealing with narcissists, I only give my time and attention to people who can give mutual respect. Time is too short, and none of us know how much time we have left. ❤

I always like to tell people to treat themselves like they would a good friend or loved one. Often times, we hold ourselves to such a high standard that we fail to show ourselves the same kind of love.

I use to make excuses for bad behaviour because I didn't love myself. Now I love myself I don"t take any bad behaviour.

When i started to love my self a lot of one sided and narc relationships faded away

I need to build a good, strong relationship with myself. Growing up I was always told I'm not good, I won't amount to anything. And that has stuck with me into adulthood.

Being so hard on myself for making mistakes. I wasn't always this way.

"There's a difference between fighting for love and fighting to be loved."-Julia Kristina

Context: You're the only person that has to live with you from birth to death. The root of many issues is in our lack of self-love and self-acceptance 1. Taking things less personally - We think someone's words or actions mean more than what we think about ourselves 2. Overthinking - it's putting our self worth in the hands of other peoples ideas. When we are solid we don't need to outsource that. 3. Stressing about what other people think about you - We worry about what others think about us when we are unsure of what we think about ourselves 4. Over-justifying your decisions - We over-justify to control other's thoughts about it. We need them to see it our way for us to feel good about it. 5. Stressing about making the wrong decisions - It's less about making a mistake than what it means about us 6. Needing to be right/people to agree - When we need to be right we need others to see something about us. When we don't doubt ourselves it's okay if other's don't agree. Interjection: Ego. Our made up sense of self there to protect our authentic self. It's nice when people agree but the ego will make us "have" to be right. 7. Fearing making mistakes - Isn't about the outcome, it's about what we make it mean about you. You fear beating yourself up not the misfortune 8. Fighting for acceptance - How often to find yourself convincing people that you are good enough. Fighting for love, not fighting to be loved

I'm here so no narcs can ever get near again. I want to learn about myself and others. There are so many manipulative people

Sometimes i hate the youtube algorithm but right now i love it because it brought me to you. Hi everyone, i am 56 yo and have been on a self esteem journey like forever. Love from new england. THANK YOU!!!

Julia you are GEM. 60 yrs old and I needed this. I wish I knew this in my 40s-50s. But now is also great to know

The fighting to be loved hit me hard. I think Im always trying to get people to like me and want them to love me.

Things that will get better when I love myself more: health, relationships, job prospects, home environment, skin, worldview, achievements, friendships, attitude, money management. Now to watch the video and see what you said!

When we speculate on what people think of us. Im guilty of that one. Starting to build a more solid relationship with myself!

20:12 so crucial in knowing to throw in towel with relationship that is very mistreating even though they say and act like love you, if there's a lot done and said to disrespect and disregard your feelings for feeling worthy enough then thats not loving to yourself no matter how they try to make up for it, thats not real love its toxic and taking you for granted.

You're always with yourself, so you might as well Love You .❤❤❤

I used to overthink everything. This was largely because I was in a relationship that made me feel less of myself. I was never told that I'm loved, comforted, appreciated and also always second guessed myself. Even when I left the relationship because it was clear that it wasn't good enough, I still thought I did the wrong thing and that I've hurt him. But I asked myself what about all the things he did to hurt me, whatabout my joy and my mental stability which was always disturbed? I think I didn't love myself enough to even believe that a good decision I took. I beat myself

Julia--Thank you so much! This needs to be taught in homes, schools, temples and places of worship. When you fill your own bucket of self-love, then you're ok to pour love into other people's bucket and you also make room for people to pour into yours. To anyone reading this, I hope you have a wonderful, peace-filled day!!

You know,your exactly 💯 right,we have been programmed to rob ourselves of positive thoughts and experiences, but alot of people are evil with hidden agenda ,i am glad to be able to listen to your teachings

Don't love anyone more than you should love yourself. Put yourself first across the board. Be kind with you, stroke your soul, listen to God's voice and not the ego's one. Be airy, be etherical, be bold, be playful. You live once therefore don't worry too much about what the others could think about you because who are they? More than you? Certainely not. Let your soul expresses loudly within you unapologetically

Sometimes in life we are so busy looking after everyone else, we forget about ourselves. You have to look after yourself ,nobody else will

Fighting to be loved, want to be loved, I've recognized the real thing too. So I need to work on this one. People Pleaser deluxe.

These ten things are consistent with your own boundaries. That's what's good about them.

And Julia, I love the way you pause and take deep breaths. I love that and it helps me feel confident in what you’re saying. Thank you for being you! Appreciate! 🙏🦋

Wow! This is so true. I’m so dependent on approval. Then take it personally when I don’t get the approval. I approve of me already. It’s meaningful to be reminded.

I think loving yourself is also loving others. It isnt fair to family and friends for us to outsource our worth and self esteem to them.

I didn’t have friends as a kid. I fought to be loved. I want friends now. I do realize that first I could be my own friend. I want to know how. I remember about 40 years ago I read a book “How to be your own best friend”. It is finally the number one priority in my life

My uncle sent me here-now that’s love ❤️

Julia, your weekly videos are like balm for the soul 😊

Really wonderful work and free to the public. She's gold

There is a difference between fighting for love and fighting to be loved!!!

"When" we start to love ourselves. Problem is getting to the "when". Might as well ask me to change the color of my eyes!

I started watching you two years ago after getting out of a bad relationship. Throughout this time I’ve identified traumas & struggles I weren’t even aware of and today I can say I’m in a much better position than I was then. Thank you for the work that you do! It’s changing our lives❤️

I took the boundaries course a while ago and it just hit me. In order to set better boundaries I needed to get better at liking myself. It sounds obvious, but these layers keep getting revealed! Thank you! I always love your videos! ❤️

when you said fighting for acceptance it made me cry, hit me right in the heart..

TRUST IS THE KEY! Trusting yourself and later acquiring the ability to slowly start trusting others is the fundamental basis of a healthy relationship with yourself and consequently with other people. This message is POWER! Thank you Julia.

I love the way you explain things. It's simple but yet sophisticated. You relate to people.

I feel sad to recognize more than one statement here... especially the last one. I don't do this with everyone, but with my partner or the person that I like, looking for his approval all the time. I'm tired of this cycle...

I was actually researching and reading about these things. I want to learn to depend, love, care and improve myself instead of depending on others who arent available. I feel devalued when they arent around and that sucks. I dont want to be emotionally dependent on them. I wanna be ok just being myself. Thanks for this vid!

This is one of the many amazing video updates that i automatically clicked thumb up too fast even before watching it.

I love myself now and do more every day. I was brought up however internalising the toxic negativity of parents and I experienced deep lack of self love for most of my life which led to extreme emotional pain and I never understood why. It is the most amazing liberation when the penny finally drops and gradually you start feeling it as well as knowing it..

Gosh.....I think I’m starting to LOVE MYSELF!!! BOOYAH! 🥂🙏🥰🥰🥰

Hi I'm code and this video came to me not a day too soon . Like the universe showed me this . I'm on disability and have a hard time with everything in this video . Facing adversity of homelessness and the next obstacle in my life like having a job for a first time and a long time. Believing that I love and accept myself is such a foreign language. Something I battle with everyday . Ty for the vid

I listen to you every morning, you are a true blessing!

This was an excellent video very informative I spent 36 years in a marriage riddled with intimacy issues on my husband’s part due to his childhood trauma I did everything to be the perfect wife to no avail as through therapy after he passed in ‘22 I learned he had Madonna complex after getting over that shock I realized I needed to take a look at all my relationships and why I chose ones that were not on equal footing I do have some great friends but also some that weren’t healthy. Your video sheds light on how we think about ourselves I’ve always been a confident person but a lot of what you said I could relate to fear of failure and over thinking things were my two biggest thank you you’re an incredible therapist

I need to listen to this every single day, for the rest of my life. Thank you for this 🙏

I tend to overexplain myself is because in my past, people made decisions without explaining their reasons. It was very difficult to come to peace with it. I wished I understood why they acted the way they did, it would have saved me a lot of time. When it comes to the well being of my children, I need my partner to agree with me, yes!

I am 65 yrs. old and I struggle with loving and accepting myself. I just found Julia K. and I will continue to listen to your videos. I'm afraid of failure. I'm afraid I will not be successful to make the necessary changes to be a better me. I will take it slow and do my best to learn.

I have just started listening and she is awesome. I have a lot of trauma I life lately, my fiancee and my daughter's father killed himself 2 weeks ago. I needed this

I have had a couple years learning how to love myself and never knowing how to get back up from falling on my feet. This video has helped me 10x more then I try to give myself advice every day.

Thanks so much for this julia..Think i’ve been a volunteer victim,just need to keep contributing-calmness is a human superpower. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace Mental strength is incredibly important. Take care of your mind and the way you speak to yourself. Don’t let negative self-talk weaken you. Talk like you are blessed. Walk like you are blessed. Think like you are blessed. Work like you are blessed. And you will be, one way or another. Everything gets a bit uncomfortable when it’s time to change (or when it’s time to recalibrate your expectations). That’s just a part of the growth process. Things will get better. Be patient, and remind yourself that you will never have to force anything that’s truly meant to be. Just do your best, then adopt a “whatever happens, happens” mindset. Don’t try to force things-let go and allow the right blessings to flow. peeeace Ed

You speak and teach so clear. I understand you easily since my English is not on high the level. So you are great and wise. I want to watch all your videos. You answered my prayer. I have been saying yes for many many years but now I say no when I need to. I also try to be a nice nice to others but I get angry or worried because they do not treat me the same. Before I started watching your videos I wanted to make a full stop in my life and figure out what is wrong. I pray a lot to Jesus and I found my answer which is you. So what I started some months ago you are confirming that I am on the right road but you are making it more clear to me to see better. I thank you for these videos that you are sharing. I love them. May God bless you more and more Julia.

Looking forward to watching after work!! I’ve been steadily loving myself more and it’s a genuinely amazing feeling, though getting there is challenging ❤️

You’re gifted at what you do, Julia Kristina!

Sometimes when we don’t love ourselves, we treat others badly. It’s not always about the behavior of others.

soo grateful i found this channel! i'm ila, currently a sophomore, who recently trying to investing on self-love this past months.. because how much pain i caused for going the other way. it really sucks that the environment i'm in have people-pleasing tendencies, but i don't feel alone for bravely taking this decision, i have myself. finally breathe out after my lungs were drenched in sorrow for too long might be the best thing that ever happen to me. one year ago, you can find me in the backseat, avoiding interactions yet overly pleasing people.. only for shitty treatments (mostly from myself). i had no idea how toxic i was, and isolating myself like that wouldn't change anything. and like what this video said, the root of my problems were lack of self-respect. this video explained my changes after growing to love myself well. i trust myself with my own beliefs, abundance, opinions, and self identity, therefore everything feels less personal to me. if there's different opinions, i take it with a grain of salt aka respecting it without thinking mine is way low than that. i also grow to know the essence of mistakes.. it's not something to avoid but to handle with full responsibility. these healthy responses are what i must do for so long. atleast i finally learned how to do this, even with the hard way. i'm so grateful and will always thrive to grow positively more, together with myself!

This is pure gold Julia... if there were such thing as an Owner's Guide to Self-Awareness, this is it... thank-you!

definitely fighting to be loved but fighting for love from myself

Just found your channel. I was doing well with knowing who I am, self loving but in the last year I began to let others emotions run me! Thank you for your video, information!

That's amazing! I just uploaded an interview with an awesome life coach talking about this exact topic. I love it that people are interested in knowing more about what self love is and how to truly love themselves. It's critical for our mental, emotional and social health.

" Do you want to be right... Or do I want to be happy?"... L LOVE AND NEED THAT!!

Trust nobody , be honest to myself , always social aware , keep distance from some girls and people , eat healthier and cheapest , clean myself each single day

Hello from the UK. I love your videos, they've really helped me, so thank you so much 😊

Your videos have helped me enormously. Thank you.

Oh my goodness I have no idea why your first video popped into my Facebook feed (i think that's where I saw it?!) the growth and understanding I am gaining... yay!! Thank you!

Just ordered the simple steps to self trust. Thank you!

This video spoke volumes to me- I am constantly breaking promises to myself- then feeling guilt and shame and an utter lack of confidence in my ability to ever get anything done. This problem runs deep in my psyche and has kept me from moving forward with the things in my life that I am passionate about- I have skills, I can do hard tasks but need some way to actually DO THEM!

The lack of self-acceptance was one of my biggest struggles. I continue to work on loving myself after the shift society. Loving myself more has allowed me to build the foundation to trust my ideas and thoughts, my decisions, my actions, my motivation, my goals. I was searching for family members to love me, but I am not searching it. My perception of life with regards to my multicultural and multilingual knowledge is so different to my family and people in the U.S.A. I am not searching to find happiness with my family that did not accept me. I found happiness with myself and people around the world that have supported me. My Nonna and Bisnonna are two people that have cared about me the most and listen to me.

Listening to these videos makes me realize...I am better. Took 3 years and I am finally realizing that I am good.

fear of making mistakes resonated the most!👌

I need to stop second guessing myself or overthinking every single thing in my life. Prayer has been a big help but it still creeps in at times of weakness. I am beginning to stand up for myself more in this season of my life though.

Just recently I visualize the young me, visualizing my personality and mannerisms and try to love this younger me..

Key point: If one is sure of himself/herself, then why is there a need to justify it to someone else, especially when the decision does not impact the other person. Great!

So helpful for me exactly where I am at because I can use this as a measuring stick for how much I have grown and how I’ve learned to value myself and display emotional maturity :)

the reason why i struggle with a lot of self love issues is because of my childhood and my parents. i did everything in this video, and i love how simple you put this. i used to attract narcissistic people, i used to be a people pleaser, i am still so hard on myself overthink and it’s so freeing to not care about what people think. the freedom and learning to be in the moment is amazing. 🧡

Julia, you are an absolute gem. Your videos teach me something new every time and I’m very grateful, so thank you.

I'm crying 😢... This video was so mind blowing for me. Thank you so much.

This is so good! I recently made a big decision that a lot of people that are in my life do not like. This one really hits home for me right now.

You asked a question fighting fighting for acceptance that's the one I struggle with🥊

I’ve already listened to this twice and been 🌟 starring so many of my notes. So grateful for your videos to help us become everything we are capable of being - which is amazing. Thank you Julia - you are not only making a difference but doing and being the difference! I embrace all the benevolence of your tremendous work. ♥️

I love the idea of choosing to be happy over being right.

Take good care of you! Absolutely great. Thank you.

Hi my name is Annabelle and I live in France. Watching your videos since few month as i was lacking boundaries and self love and caused me so much troubles. I’m better now and looking to improve my brand new skills to live my best life.

Your awesome. I truly enjoy your videos. The individuals that know you personally are lucky because I believe you are very genuine. ❤ your advice is amazing 🙏

you’ve made a lot of deep insightful content but this takes the cake. I’ve had a sense of these different areas contributing to self doubt but to see that they all have a common underlying issue of self acceptance makes the prescription to fix extremely focused. Thank you!

You are changing lives Julia and you know it. Just wanna thanks you and God that I found out your channel Julia. I grateful that I have started taking care of my mental health at an early age of 18. Just thank you thank you and thank you

Shifting! My waking intuition said I should work on my SELF LOVE today!!! I was about to watch another video when I saw this perfect message here!!! Thank you! Synchronicity Intuition Gratitude. Check, check, ☑️

I’m only on number 2, and shaking my head....I started a new job last June, totally remote, I never met my new boss, coworkers, never even been to that state...and I totally stress over the first two items you hit.

Hi Julia, this is Allard from the Netherlands, Amsterdam :) i’ve been watching and listening to your video’s since last week and want you to know that it is so helpfull. I’m hsving a hard time recovering from a burn out during this pandamic, not a good mix. But you help me te stay in focus and you bring your messages in such a loving and light way, thank you very much.

Thanks & good job. I've been working on this as I try to self actualize (radical authenticity). It seems that our culture expects us to conform to toxic behavior (people pleasing, self abandonment, manipulation, etc.). Self love seems to be making things worse (rejection & isolation). I must be doing something wrong. 🤔😕🙂

The best motivation to love yourself.....

hello Julia , ever since i came upon your videos i must say they are really helping me alot in my personal growth journey.. I have a notebook and carefully taking the notes ..

Learning to trust yourself- I had never thought of that! Very helpful video!

I love her guidance.

I love the simple plain language you use to explain each item. You are brilliant

Loving our selfes brings balance . Being good to our selfes brings balance , staying focused and not procrastinating brings balance...

Hi Kristina - thank you for your supportive videos! For some reason, I’ve been feeling isolated, at my own doing. I’m not sad about it. I never thought I would ever prefer to be alone. I never had a problem with being in crowds before in my life. I’m having a phobia about seeing my friends. I’m afraid they look older every week. Everyone is. It’s really freaking me out! That is weird. I’m scared of people aging right before me. I’m scared of being in a nursing home, despite the fact that I’m only 56 years old. I haven’t seen my best friend for 2 years and she will be here in two weeks, her mother and daughter in tow, who I love. I am really struggling, coping with the guilt and depression and anxiety associated with the divorce (a good ten years ago). I’m trying to have my narcissistic ex leave me alone. I can’t even call him an ex. He intimated me out of my marital home because he was going to tell my husband (who is 13 years older than me + insecure in the first place) we hooked up, which, regrettably I did. As soon it was over [it happened only once!], I regretted it immediately and told him so. He was unwilling to accept it. Thereafter he made my life a living hell by blackmailing me into getting a divorce. I stayed under those constraints for about 3 years while still living in the marital home until I was able to leave. I’ve never done such a thing in my entire life. I was upset, and was morbidly depressed, inconsolable + stayed with my brother until the divorce was settled. This Narcissist continued stalking me - which has now turned into 15 years. I have an RO on him but as we all know, this is a piece of paper. So, now I’m royally depressed. I’m in my own condo but I feel sick that I had to leave my husband - my yellow lab girl - Paige, husband’s granddaughter who I had every weekend + life as I knew it, although problems were present in the marriage. He was a John Lennon wannabe. He smoked pot from morning until night - he wasn’t present at all - avoided family functions, etc. I was feeling very lonely + vulnerable and was at the wrong place at the wrong time. I have no children. I have no support. I’m trying my best to pull myself out of this depression. Tomorrow is Monday and hopefully a new course of action. Speaking negatively to oneself is the worst thing anyone can do. I have to do this. I am blessed to have a roof over my head. Sorry for the novel.

Taking things too personally is a major fault of mine - the need to please others is dangerous because the only person I answer too is myself - it’s really tough to work towards this.

Treat yourself like you would treat your child, with love and compassion