Take the avoidant ex off that pedestal! 

He's fully off the pedestal now. I just recognise his incredible limitations as a human being. It's actually sad for him, as it certainly dulls his experience of life. He called me intense for just being normal and capable of deep reflection. How shallow. I am so grateful for the clear guidance of this coach and wish more men were like him in terms of emotional maturity and evolution. Most aren't in my experience!

If my ex cheated and tried ghosting me and giving me vague excuses for the breakup and tried gaslighting me, then they actually are a bad person.

Remember people, anyone who saw you cry because of them and did nothing to change anything, to stop your crying and let you alone, is not a good person, especially if they claim they love you...

They say time heals all wounds. With an avoidant, it only gets worse while they breadcrumb you...while you apologize for your reaction.

We are all struggling with the same thing, the person that you once knew is long gone and never coming back, mourn them or think of they moving across the world with a one way ticket!! Start reducing those unhealhy habits that reminds you of them, start removing items of theirs and block them, its for your own good, they moved and so should you.

Forgive yourself for what you did not know!

pedestals work both ways. at first it’s “THEYRE THE BEST!” quickly becomes “THEYRE THE WORST!” both are pedestals. don’t fall into the trap of fixating on their flaws or u are still playing the game of pedestals

Of all the advice I received concerning getting over my avoidant ex, this was the most helpful (he mentioned this once in an earlier video). Once I began to journal about the negative and positive things she did, I was genuinely surprised at how much the negative outweighed the positive. Very eye-opening because before I did it, I was sure that the positives would outweigh the negatives.

Taking them off the pedestal I have struggled with for so long. I'll try this method. I'll try anything at this point!

By far the best coach. The way you speak is so comforting. Thank you truly.

This is incredibly helpful coach Ryan. I kept a journal while I was in the relationship and it’s so helpful now. It’s incredible how easily we can stick to the good and forget the bad, but I documented mostly the rough times I went through as a way to cope. I felt like I was going insane and was not enough, but when I read my journal Entries I am shocked how I continued thru it all.

The hurt comes from him not caring if i left...

Just knocked my 30 year love affair off the pedestal stool. 😊 Feels great! It wasn't until watching Coach Ryan, I managed to feel those AHA moments 😮 It's taken over 2 years and a lot of self growth and self talk to get here. Still...one foot in front if the other. ❤ Australia 🇦🇺

I wonder if most "love songs" out there were (unknowingly) written about avoidants....or from an avoidant point of view

Thank you coach I value and appreciate your knowledge and direction

As always, thanks Coach! With time I'm finding that I can slowly detach from her. It's quite the process that is happening slowly but surely. I won't let her occupy my thoughts.

Thank you Coach! You are the one helping me through this. ❤️

Thank you for this video. It’s hard to have a clear and strong mind alone. This coach is the answer.

She is off the pedestal. I can’t believe how flawed she is, but she was classic avoidant, went numb, blindsided, blamed me for crazy stuff, re-wrote the relationship, hovered around til I blocked her. We had the best time til we didn’t. I let myself get lovebombed. She fooled me. I just did not know all this til now.

I keep thinking about him not because he’s on a pedestal I feel conned by him and like he never cared about me and I can’t believe he blindsided me and had devalued me and in his mind made me out to be the problem. It has been traumatic and I just keep saying I can’t believe he just threw me away out of nowhere! I couldn’t figure out why this happened it was devastating. You have helped me so much. I was so confused the day he broke up me was a day we were having fun hugging kissing and very close. I felt like I was being conned and lead on. It took me many months just to put this together we were with each other practically 4 days week.-he was crazy about ne I loved his ass oh I miss imhi so much

I didn’t know my ex is partly avoidant until I saw your videos.

This is the best video. I couldn't stop crying over my first avoidant, which happened 4 years ago! And even after 4 years was crying over some online person who I never even met. He was so special in my eyes but he also claimed to feel the special connection. We were like twins, like soulmates. It was very intensive 2 weeks. Then he took pause from online platform where we talked. Came back after 2 months saying he doesn't attach to others anymore. Didn't see our bond as special. I just couldn't put him down from the pedestal because he had so amazing qualities

Oh my please help me, I just broke up with my ex. He didn't want to get help

Just started yesterday! Thanks for the help Coach Ryan!!

Isn’t this what they do to us!? Telling themselves how flawed we were? To justify everything? So confusing how to navigate this 😢

Amazing! This is the most powerful and helpful advice😮.Thank you so much.

Yesssss❤❤❤

Thank you so much

Thank you! 🙏🏼

Great video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her...

If there are emotionally available males, I think they are rare.

Would you consider doing any videos without the background music?

Together 1.5 years. Best friends too. Then he stopped sex I asked what happening: he said he's sleeping with girl 10 years younger when I asked more he said her p&ssy is better and he prefers Her he said she's more important than me. He said we can still be friends? But he's always with her now even though he never gave me much time? I'm broken, he keeps saying how amazing she is?! I don't get how he's so cold now he won't even look at me when I talk to him. It's like the whole thing was a lie? Did he never care????? 😊

For all the anxious attached folks out there. Find your path to secure attachment so you're able to handle these situations in a better way as well. The avoidant isn't always to blame for relationship issues and it takes a lot of work from both parties to foster a healthy relationship

Thank you, my English is not good, this video is the clearest and most comfortable explanation of Avoiding problems I have ever heard

Thank you for your gentle, rational and loving persuasion. For more than a year, I have been suffering this punishment alone, without being able to tell anyone. I dare not recall his kindness. In fact, the most trauma he left me was, but what I gave him back was tolerance, patience and love. It wasn't until 2 months ago that I suddenly burst into anger and slapped him hard twice. This relationship suddenly stopped and I felt relaxed and relieved.

THANK YOU!! Coach you are helping me tremendously You're the Best❤️‍🩹🙏