@@gijane2cantwaittoseeyou203 It's all relative, you can't tell someone in a mental situation that they just simply "have it good compare to X" Think broader
"What is like listening to me talk?" Is such a diplomatic way of gauging whether her inner dialogue was too loud for her to hear what he was saying. He gets where shes at and lets her get everything on her mind out, very intelligent and thoughtful guy.
Yea, i remember her saying something about how she had to stop going to conventions with her brother because they'd be walking around and people would be yelling abuse at her, so it was really hard on her bro. Gets treated pretty poorly.
Was quite beautiful to see this. Back when I was a lot on Twitch, I watched her a bunch of times. I always knew she was hiding a lot of pain, but seeing the amount of it, and her being so open about it now, that's true beauty.
I really like how Dr. K has a wide range of people on the stream. Theres always something you can learn from a different perspective. Rip Reckful, i learned a lot from him.
I always thought Kacey was a legend, but holy shit. I can't believe what she's accomplished in the face of everything that she went through. What a fucking god.
The hate is for the Character. Kaceytron is a troll to show up narrow minded misogyny and similar stuff in gaming and streaming, and as long as there are guys out there that either are narrow minded or can't recognize a joke or satire, characters (Kaceytron isn't 100% the same as Kacey which some forget) like this will always be needed to show how ridiculous people can be, even when its thrown back in their face. And those people often hate looking at themselves and lash out and go to dumb lengths, spending hours watching her content and even paying her bills by subbing her just to essentially reeeeeee at her. Forgetting she is more than capable at defending herself and putting their flawed opinions on display
I watched this live and I just want to say, thank you to Kacey for letting other people of similar background listen to your story and feel more 'normal' and also to Dr K and his crew for all the hard work they've put into HealthyGamerGG
@Jeff B I related on the levels of always telling myself what I went through wasn't that bad, because other people had it worse, but I experienced trauma and I've never been able to actually come to terms with being angry at my parents so I've never been able to forgive them. Also the ideas of trauma being the cause of some of the anxiety/depression, maybe I do have those things but until I actually process and heal from the trauma I'll never know. Also the since of not wanting to get help unless it was perfect, because I wasnt good enough to just try something for for. And finally the meditation, I always watch these afterwards but I caught this one live and I was answering the questions as he asked Kacey and the ability to recognize thoughts as thoughts and separate them from me now is a lot. Basically before I was just in the dark, now I think I'm in a tunnel and I'm pretty sure what I've been seeing recently is the light at the end. I'm almost free. I'm almost me.
@@sagefloop Yeah. I'm kind of the same regarding my parents, but I still live with them due to disability so I can't really forgive them since they're still causing me issues.
Its really nice to see Kacey getting her emotions out. Crying should never be looked down upon. Its perfectly normal to cry and anyone that says otherwise has the emotional range of a potato chip.
Ur trying to tell people to accept more emotional ranges but at the same time dissing certain emotional ranges and shaming them in the same sentence. Kinda hypocritical my guy.
WOW. 14 minutes in and I feel horrible. I remember a point where everywhere I looked people hated on Kaceytron, RUTHLESSLY. Nothing but shit-talk and terrible insults. It's quite unbelievable to hear what was truely going on in her life. My stomach was twisted listening to that story, I can't begin to imagine going through something that horrible. Bravo for making it through. Dr. K, you make such a huge difference to many people in their lives and thoughts. I thank you sir.
I don't know who Kaceytron is (I'm on the edge of transitioning into a boomer), but I think this is a good observation. Life has taught me that a lot of people who are easy to hate, usually have legit reasons for being so hatable. Some people's lives are tougher than we can imagine.
I agree, and I think it's an important lesson for anyone online, where hatred is easily and constantly applied to others. As a people, we need to be more thoughtful and less judgemental.
I feel like it would be fair to say that she really did bring it down on herself, it was her twitch persona she acted out that got all the hate. Something she was in control over and did willingly. But besides that, yeah. No one deserves that.
@@wowandrss sure, but some for some people, being toxic is all they know. I grew up in poverty, but fortunately, my parents were pretty decent people. Some people aren't so fortunate. Some people, despite living in a first-world country, live in sort of a third-world lifestyle. It's hard for most Americans to imagine, but it's surprisingly true. Some peoples' upbringings are so barbaric, it makes them savage af
@@JoeyTen interesting, it sounds like you are saying that people that are hated on deserve to be hated? I think it's the other way around... usually the people that are being hateful are projecting their own hate for themselves on to other people.
It's disturbing when you think about all the abusive shit she's put up with over the years as part of her streaming persona. I always thought it was amazing she was able to just ignore all that or be combative in a comedic way to bait out more "insult" donations. Now I think it was actually affecting her the entire time and she endured it because she had to. What the fuck are we doing to each other?
man seeing kaceytron back in the day was like why won't this troll go away? but seeing her like this it just changes everything man like wow.... that whole time back then when she was trolling in league and blowing up it was almost like the world was giving her an opportunity to deal with all this shit.
imagine if people took all the hate they gave kacey for being a "boobie streamer' and sent that towards the guy who beat and stabbed her mom and ruined her family.
I always saw kaceytron as a strong woman but seeing her upset was really tough to watch. But I'm glad she's able to get more support and alongside getting help she's helping others as well.
It's definitely weird how we view strong people as immune or extra resilient to pain. Like seeing them be vulnerable is hard for us because we see them as so different. Strong people are fighting to be that way but they're just as vulnerable as anyone.
jimmyolsenblues She acts super sarcastic, witty, and passive aggressive, but it’s in like a meme non toxic way. I find it funny but she gets a lot of hate on the internet. Probably better to just watch some clips lol.
I always wondered why Kacey smoked as much as she did. Now I see why. She's the pot smoker equivalent of an alcoholic who's been through a lot of shit and is trying to drink the pain away. I honestly think this is the best channel on Twitch just for the fact it has shown that every major streamer on this platform has mental demons they deal with all the time, and some times the best way to handle it is letting it all out. I hope things get better for Kacey.
@@AXharoth you sure about that ? Its not the same substance so for sure it does not in the same way as drinking. Still has lot of negative effects on your body and brain.
GongsunXin it can just not in the same way. Where alcohol destroys your liver slowly over time pot does damage to your lungs and brain. While pot doesn’t has as drastic an effect on the lungs compared to your average tobacco death stick or your pneumonia causing juul it does have a pretty drastic long term effect on the synapses of your nervous system. Pot essentially does damage to them when smoked. This is how you get the hallucinogenic effects of smoking pot. Over time the temporary effects become permanent with constant use and it’s shown to cause early onset dementia and Alzheimers. While it’s no lung cancer or liver failure I think getting dementia when you get old is it’s own fresh hell in of itself.
@@AXharoth Weed is equally as bad if abused. I had my first panic attack because of weed, after that I was never the same, I started having constant anxiety and panic attacks where I would end up in the ER thinking I was gonna die. Several studies have linked marijuana use to increased risk for psychiatric disorders, research also suggests that smoking high-potency marijuana every day could increase the chances of developing psychosis by nearly five times compared to people who have never used marijuana. So no, weed is not a be all and end all of drugs, personally it's probably the drug that had the most negative effect on me and that completely got me addicted, I never felt it with any other substances, and trust me, I've had my fair share of drug experiences.
@@AXharoth I've smoked for years and it absolutely does have negative health effects. It recalibrates your brain chemistry, so being high is the new normal. Your sleep, your appetite, your mood, your energy levels, and especially your memory, focus, learning etc it's all seriously impacted if you smoke daily. Drinking is much worse for sure because it's actually poisonous and can lead to death, but with marijuana your body treats it sort of like it's a waste. On top of the lung damage, your body's gotta overproduce mucous to clear your lungs and airway from all the smoking, and your brain will become foggy over time from all the psychoactive chemicals (at least on my experience). Yeeeeah.. Pot to me will always feel like an abusive ex ill never be able to get over.
I saw my mom and my sister being beat as a young child and the trauma of not being able to do anything to stop it from happening lives with you for the rest of your life. I understand the pain she is expressing 100%. It's not really something you get over. You blame yourself and you feel personally responsible for the way things and you find ways to distract yourself from the childhood trauma but it still remains no matter what and it's just there and it lives with you. The feelings of doing her best and taking personal responsibility over the family while having severe PTSD & struggling with poverty... it's so hard.
Watched this live. This'll be a good occasion for some people to realize making assumptions without knowning the person beforehand is ultimately a flaw in their own behavior.
the ones with the best humour are often times the ones who suffers the most. she's my favourite e-girl reject ♡ i truly adore and admire her strength. thank you kacey for opening up, thank you for your amazing sense of humour which would instantly light up my day and finally thank you for being here with us. lots of love to you kacey!
im 51 a gamer and going through hard shit mentally /phyiscally.. thank you i learned about you yesterday through the death of Rektful, I had never folowed any streamers either but im crying and cant stop thank you for your very unique stream painfuly good
Why are there so many comments about Reckful? He's not in this video. Stop trying to wedge his suicide into every comments section. It's obvious you're just doing it for easy upvotes. I think it's pretty disrespectful to Kacy to try to force this deeply personal look into HER world to somehow relate back to someone else who isn't even mentioned here. It's disgusting.
Fuck, I think I remember doing the same shit in early high school...I feel like I should take away from this that you never really know what someone is going through, and you should treat them accordingly
Buncha notes: 2012 - 2016 Boyfriends younger brother (a child) dies from cancer; she held his hand as he died. Mother started abusing meth at the same time. Stepfather started to abuse her mother while she was high really badly to the point of bruises and stitches and stabs. As well as attempted kidnapping. Grandfather dies. Stepfather also abuses his own autistic biological son verbally. Grandmother also died somewhere along here? Really cares about not looking like white trash. Feels like she had to take care of everyone, and take on the responsibility. Feels like she didn't have a horrible life because she thinks in comparison to the young kid who died from cancer, she wasn't suffering "as much". She has problem playing video games because she feels guilty enjoying a game that the kid would have enjoyed, that he is missing out on something he shouldn't have. She has been suppressing the emotional toll until recently, as in the past it wasn't appropriate to be an emotional wreck and now it's spiraling out of control. Feels very selfish, feels like she doesn't deserve things. Feels very emotional for other people, especially her own family. She required some parental guidance at times where she couldn't get any, and she's honestly just looking for someone to talk to, understand, and give some suggestions as to how she could proceed. She really needs to know where to start. (imagine a 3 year old never got taught language, and now at 25 the same kid wonders why they don't understand language) Believes "Her mother did the best that she could." while understanding that she didn't do a good job, and that she deserved to be taken care of better. Probably whole family (her, brother, and mother) have ptsd from the abuse. Mother also has paranoia. Comes from a low income family, which makes it very difficult to find proper mental health treatment. As a child, always felt like she was inconveniencing other people, bothering other people. Worried that she can't support her own family. Doubts her own emotions. She is used to a lot of things. Thinks she uses a lot of marijuana. Needs to learn how to put herself in her priority.
As someone who's having a shitty internet connection right now, this helped. I'm being genuine here. All the more I'm looking forward for the video to buffer because I got more curious about what you listed in detail.
I felt so sorry for Kaceytron, when I saw how much hate she hade to handle from the community. Now hearing all the private issues she had, makes it even worse. I wish Kacey all the best and all love of the world. Stay strong girl!
I just recently found this guy, and I must say I'm really, really impressed of what he is doing for this community. There's an unbelievable amount of people out there within the gamer community who turns to their games to process shit. I think this shows a lot of people a different way to handle hard issues.
> turns to their games to process shit I think a lot of people play games because it's the best way they have of dealing with their negative emotions, but the nature of the dealing is not exactly processing: Dr. K has said in some other videos that games tend to suppress feelings, in particular negative ones. Suppressing != Processing.
@@VioletEmerald Maybe, I think you'd be able to find both types of personalities in this group of people :) We are all more or less well adjusted, and have different means of handling hardships, many might stick their head into the sand, but not tries to escape it. Peace and love
Kacey, I relate so freaking much despite the details of my life story being SO different. What she's first describing is a deep disenfranchised grief over the horrible death of a child who wasn't her own son, so the supports aren't there for people beyond the parents in our society, even if you were traumatized by his death and loved him and held his hand when he died. Disenfranchised grief is an important term, look it up. There are so many difficult ways that disenfranchised grief can show up for people, I've had a few examples in my life - I witnessed my favorite uncle's suicide, I wasn't treated the way a child is when a parent dies when my grandmother who helped raise me as a 3rd parent died, and then my close friend and colleague perpetrated a murder-suicide, he murdered his wife, and I'd never met his wife but I cared deeply for, even loved platonically, my friend, and grieving a murderer is very disenfranchised. You then discuss the horrific situation of being powerless to save your mother from substance abuse and addiction, combined with not being able to save her from extremely ongoing domestic violence and physical abuse. My story instead involved growing up being quite horrifically psychologically abused directly by my mother, and feeling quite powerless to escape my mother's abuse because it was so mostly psychological. She wasn't doing enough "Wrong" in the eyes of the law or whatever, it's hard to explain but there was so much torture and pain for so many years on end, truly. And it's hard not to blame adults around me for not doing more to save me when they KNEW, when they witnessed it, my dad was a victim of her abuse too, and she did end up getting physically violent at the end. My younger brother who I cared deeply about also had a serious alcohol addiction problem and I missed big warning signs and he almost ended up in a deadly DUI situation before he ended up getting sober. People look at my history of traumas, all happening throughout my childhood into my twenties, and think I've lived a very rough life compared to the average person, and maybe I have. Maybe most people don't have to go through quite so many or quite so extreme of traumas. But people like Kacey are more common than a lot of people think, and people like me are too. A lot of people have been through a lot of shit but you wouldn't know it unless you got to know us quite well.
As a father of two this is a horrific watch. Always knew she used a persona but had no idea what was going on her real life which just makes her all the more incredible and strong. I hope the trolls that watch/watched her stream and see this, will perhaps reflect and even offer her an apology
Yesterday, I couldn't sleep because of the news. Chills went down my spine as I saw the news. He was my beacon of light. I felt related to him since I have chronic depression and seeing him getting better when he talked with Dr.K I decided to better my life. Byron, I hope with the bottom of my heart that you're in a better place now, unlike this cruel world. I promise you that I will become a better person even if it's like lifting a mountain just walking out of my bed everyday. I promise that I'll be the best at what I do just like you were the best at being rogue. I promise that I would treat my friends with love just like you did. We, the people that struggled but had you become our beacon, now have a duty to honor you. We have to survive for his sake.
no sleep gang. love out to you. bipolar here. gonna deep dive dr k today probably. i need to fucking figure my shit out. the odds are stacked against us. weiufiwejfiwef
@@redlion3569 I felt the same, It's like losing someone who you thought that cracked the code to get out of this hell hole in these past few months. Like Andy said, we of all people appreciate what happiness really is. So strive for it like he did. Instead of one champion to fight it for us and make us happy by his streams and positive vibes, It's our turn now. We can't let him down no matter how hard and heavy it is.
Firstable - thats a lesson then people act weird, they probably have issues. Seconable - respect for what?! She speak up, its good but respect. U just want a likes speaking like this.
This goes to show how you can't really judge someone from isolated evidence, we don't ever really know how hard they've had it in life. This is why I try to give the benefit of the doubt. Life is unfair.
@@barildan How about respect for taking care of kid with cancer, taking care of her mom in an badly abusive relationship, holding herself together with the tough life she has, speaking on the internet about it with the risk of coming of as ''white trash'' because it might help someone and make a person feel less alone as she did... I'm probably forgetting some things, but there is enough to pick here.
I dont always really catch her on stream but she always is super cool and seems really freaking sweet and I hope Dr. K doing what he is doing and brining this to Twitch shows more people its ok to get help and/or go talk to people. Speaking from experience it helps tremendously to get ANYTHING "off your chest"
Sad story, I can also relate to some of these. Some really good advices were said here. My father has alcohol problems. I do blame him and want him to stop, but telling him to stop doesn't fix the problem. I can't even fix his problem anyway, but support him.
It takes courage to come out and talk about stuff like this, especially with tens of thousands of people watching. It breaks my heart, but I'm also inspired by her strength.
As a person who has been abused. What you just commented sounds good it's really not. She and her mother at this point are glad they have nothing to do with him. They are relieved. Going into further problems would be an emotional cunami for them to go against.
@@beastmasterbg Yes, I agree. As someone who went through abuse as well, the idea of having to see him again, or even just knowing about his life, makes me shake already. It's much easier to pretend he and the things he did never happened. Obviously, I know I probably should face the past eventually, but I can live my life normally without many nightmares and panic attacks if I don't think about him too much and pretend he never existed.
Omg I was totally seeing what he was saying w/the meditation and I felt like she was not grasping it, I hope she sticks with it bc it was a comforting realization to see that there is nothing inherently wrong with you
I always knew kc was hiding from something, i mean watch her on the raj show, that dating twitch thing, but im not mocking or anything intentionally negative, ive gone through a lot of the same, but in different ways, but kc if you manage to c this, just know... youre an amazing human, seriously never give up, because the reaction you gave in moments where people would be selfish, you still gave, and that i believe holds tremendous volume, much love all
Wow. I can relate to her so much, i am so sorry that you have gone through this. You did went through it worse than i did, but i can definitly relate to all of those feelings that you are describing. Thank you for telling your story, i dont feel completely alone with theese feelings i have anymore. This helped me alot, thank you Dr. K and Kaceytron!
Dr. K's streams do _so_ much to humanize streamers for the rest of us. When streamers need to be "on" all the time, basically playing a persona as part of their job, as part of what puts food on their table, as something they generally _have_ to do to provide for themselves and their families, it keeps us from seeing them as multi-faceted human beings with really, _really_ complex lives that they have a hard time understanding and dealing with.
Side note: While I think Dr. K is right about her major problem being trauma, I don't think he should discount that she may _also_ have Generalized Anxiety Disorder that may have pre-existed the trauma in a less oppressive way, but got horrendously exacerbated by it.
Never watched a single of your streams Kacey but the human being I discovered through this video helped me relate on some topics. I think it's safe to assume that you unconsciously helped some people by opening up with Doctor K on this session. All the best to you, you'll get through this 👊🏼 Discover and be yourself
Never watched much of kaceytron , of course knew who she was in broad terms, but damn she went through a lot, surprised even how she can manage to do anything in life while going through all of it. Becoming successful meanwhile all that going on, what an amazing accomplishment from an amazingly strong human.
I... didn't realize just how much everyone would think a story so similar to my own could be so bad. I downplay my own trauma around my addict mother and abusive step-father constantly. Others have had it so much worse than me after all, and I'm still alive, so I must be fine. I'm really not, though. Kaceytron, thank you for sharing such a painful, intimate part of your life. This entire interview has helped me more than any therapist ever has. I absolutely did not expect to find this much help in ANY video. PS, I also heavily relate to feeling embarrassed and ashamed of feeling like white trash. Constantly dealing with that feeling is borderline painful. I hope you're doing better these days. And maybe it's about time I open up a bit more to my therapist about this, especially with how much Dr. K encouraged Kacey to seek therapy. Perhaps I should really cut myself some slack and practice more compassion for myself and my trauma.
I got really invested in how he was doing with the streams saw myself a lot in him, I never really knew him before Dr K. So sad to hear of his passing ( ._.)
kacey, as for myself, i would never view this as white trash. it was wonderful listening to your conversation and i'm so impressed of your bravery and how well you formulate your thoughts. lots of love
Hey. I really hope you read this Dr K. If you ever need to talk to somebody im here for you. Im from Argentina. I know Byron was really happy to have you as a friend in his last days of the journey and I know that he dont reggret any talk you give him. I think he might have beeing sad for letting you down. He didnt even want to make the chat sad. He was trying and beeing the best he can till the end.
He streamed about it today. Some clips on the Livestreamfail subreddit. I dont even know if it'll result in a video because of how heavy it was. Really hard to watch
I'd love to see Dr. K reach out to women in the gaming community who have been victims of sexual assault/harassment and see if they're willing to talk about their experiences in depth. Particularly, people (men, women, boys and girls) in the Smash community have come forward and exposed a very toxic pattern of abusive behavior among top players and personalities. I think it could really productive to see how damaging this behavior can be to individuals and the gaming community as a whole.
Wow I remember watching her as a joke in like 2014ish when she was full on meme stream. Even that as it may I saw her so strong and shit this is a side I’m actually amazing and refreshed to see
I gotta say, Kaceytron was brave and wise to do this. It took me a decade later to come to the conclusion that I needed therapy enough to seek it out and spawn point wasn't nearly as bad to use Dr. K's analogy.
Dr. K has been telling people what I've been trying to tell them about Marijuana for years. But no ones listens to guys like me because I'm not a doctor. We live in a time where everyone thinks it's okay to go around smoking and drinking alcohol irresponsibly. Or it's okay to turn to drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism. It's not. I've been sober my entire life. Partly because I've seen the negative effects it has had on nearly every member of my non-household family. You need to turn to drugs and alcohol to relieve stress. You need them to "go to sleep". Etc. There is so much wrong with the people that use them in this kind of way. But none of them will admit it and call you a stickler if aren't for it. That's why I generally just don't say anything about it whenever I'm around my friends that do it. But this mentality needs to change
So much respect for kacey. Hard to believe that when given a hand this terrible she managed to overcome it. Whereas i was handed everything and ill probbaly end up more like her mother
My father has had a life long meth addiction, I can't help but have a soft spot for any person who can say the same. It makes life as a child extremely chaotic, makes you have little trust for people.
im one of those pansy males that feels emotions easily. Im only 20 minutes in and ive cried a couple times. xD pathetic for sure, but this is a very moving interview. Mad respect to Kaceytron and Dr. K
Never shit on yourself for feeling emotions "easily". Just cause you're a guy doesn't mean you have to be some kind of emotional fortress who never gets emotionally moved.
That meditation literally changed my life & my perspective of myself i knew what he was trying to do but i was afraid if spoke even though hes not ltening it might be right or wrong afterhe metation and he asked i iterally didnt have an answer i literally had to find the problem myself but there isnt one anymore theyre the past theyre gone i am in the now
