Dr K, I have a small request. It would be awesome if you could do a reaction to one your own sessions and tell us step by step what you see going on in the person you are talking to, what you are writing on that note pad and why you ask the questions you ask and why you do it at those specific times, what reactions you were looking for etc. Let us see the conversation from your eyes. When I watch your videos, I spend most of the time trying to figure out how it works. For example, when you take a moment to think, its like you are trying to solve a mathematics equation, it would be awesome to know what you are thinking during those moments and exactly what it is that you are figuring out etc. Thanks!
YESSSSSSS. I think there are a lot of aspiring therapists who watch these, or at the bare minimum there are viewers who are fascinated by the profession and seek further understanding of a good therapists pov.
Hey guys let me know if you are getting more than 1 ad, I opened it up on an incognito tab and only got 1 skippable ad. Not sure why there are multiple ads T_T
The whole talk on feeling like you're in debt, especially to your parents, was the final puzzle peace that I needed to fully understand why I'm still afraid of failure. For the first time in a long ass while I actually feel kinda confident. It was like the biggest lightbulb in the world went off in my head and it feels great. Thanks for just talking Doc and Esfand.
Esfand is a real one, always has been. Hilarious and down to earth guy. Hopefully he just does what he enjoys and not feel like he has to live up to what his stream/community expects or wants.
@George Sander you may not like him and thats okay. just talking about how i really enjoy his streams. theyre super comfy to me and his chat is really nice. also his laugh is so contagious
I really hope esfand is doing the practice shown everyday, many dont realize how big of an impact it can be with adhd, but if you cant see what the goal looks like they mostly give up early.
This whole stream was a showcase of meditation. Dr. K was slowly reeling Esfands mind back in over and over and over and over... First 45 minutes felt exhausting but after that the conversation became more congruent and focused. Amazeballs! 🙏🙏🙏
I really like these talks as someone with ADHD. It's really helpful to see how they approach their day and how they've built success out of a mind that seemingly fights success every step of the way.
Here's an esfand RU-vid viewer. your content has actually been some of the most pure funny shit happening content I've seen in a while especially because esfand just gives off that fun guy vibe.
For the longest time I thought he was Mcconnell. Don't know why, just any time I saw a picture of Asmongold with someone for some reason he was with him. I know differently now.
I skipped around in the vid to see if he ever really talks about Jinny. He obviously likes her. If it was just casual for him, or if he was open in talking about his feelings for her, he woulda talked about living together with her. He was avoiding. Nothing against Esfand, and it's hard to talk open in front of so many people (including the people you're talking about) watching. For some, being open with the therapist themselves is difficult.
I've never watched streamers because they were "good" I've only watched streamers because they have a great warm personality and that's you esfand keep going !!!
Esfand seems as such a nice guy, that's why I started following him on streams. It's sad to hear he gets hated. I bet that's impossible as a famous person. 1 negative comment gets stuck whilst 20 positive comments filter through.
As a WoW gamer of over a decade, I relate a lot to some of the issues that Esfand and Asmon talked about, such as debt, and fear of death. I really appreciate what you're doing Dr. K. It's helping me notice that maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing if I found a therapist to talk to about some of this stuff. holy shit. "Fire mage" works. @_@
Dr K. I am kinda drunk right now but I wanna say that you helped me think things in a different way and REALLY listen when someone talks to me which was not the case before I "met" you. Also I wanna be more open in general, like now that I am drunk, but when I am not that drunk, I try, your work is gold, for me at least, thank you.
The chat during this stream and some comments on this youtube is why shipping is toxic cancer. Esfand letting out his thoughts and feelings about things but all these shippers care about is jinny and shipping. Not everything in their life has to be about both of them even if its jokes this feels like a improper time to joke. People need to let them live their lives without being chained to each other in everything they do. Esfand is a really good dude who is really passionate in everything he cares about. Him spreading himself too thin is really damaging him and I hope he's able to go through this period safely so when accomplishes the things he's doing right now, he can finally be able to let his creative side out full force. Hopefully he can do things more with his friends so he can be happy. Maybe more gym/cooking streams with his other roommates so he can have more IRL streams. Since streams with physical interactions with others can also help him a lot without everything having to be online. Hope he's able to sort things out soon and streams again.
The shipping with Jinny is mostly in good faith. It seem to be that Esfand had taste of being close to a woman (living with one) and it has left him in doubth with his current life goals. He pretty much hit the 30's wall.
Shipping as a joke is fine (like what they both stated) but the amount of unironic shipping is just weird. Trying to force them into a real relationship when they don't want one is just cringe. You're assuming that you think his life goals are changing because he met Jinny when he clearly states what he feels is that he's not creatively fulfilled. He wants to do things he did before classic and Jinny reminded him how it feels to do things other than wow. He wants to do both wow and variety/irl because he loves both. Esfand has also let other girls stay at his place before not to the extent of what Jinny stayed because of corona but he has done it before. Stop assuming what he wants in life is Jinny and let them live their lives.
Sounds like his entire life revolves around WoW and he knows it isn't a good thing. I've heard people say stuff like " this game is my life" when I raided 5 nights a week and always thought that was terribly sad, it was part of the reason I calmed down years ago. I didn't want to look back and the only memories I have of years gone by is what patch was out and how wow was taking over my life.
I think it's the opposite. I think he wants his life to revolve around wow but can't have it so. He's happier juggling more things, but if he could, he would prefer to have it revolve around wow, at least until the classic/bc thing fades out. So long as you make your money out of it and are financially ok, there's nothing wrong with having your life revolve around a video game. Ofc if you keep your health and social life intact as well.
@@cencil6497 Idk, I could be wrong but I thought Esfand goes to the gym. He's a really strong dude and a good chef. I don't know what he eats or anything about his private life really but I wouldn't confidently say he's unealthy. He is fat thoguh
@@egdrei Ya being fat and eating like shit isn't healthy man. Anyone can lift weights, that doesn't counteract bad nutrition. And that's not even touching on the mental health effects of playing video games for 20 hours a day.
His success has been defined by it. He has no context for his “self” without it. And the leap of faith required to stop wow and accept people watch his stream because of him and not the game is scary. Without wow he may find people don’t like him.
i did the rank grind on faerlina and was one of the first to get grand marshall... and i can tell you that just grinding rank 14 was insane and took a huge toll on my mental. this dude is doing that plus scarab lord + streamer things. of course he is drained.
Esfand has the potential to be a really big twitch streamer but everyone knows that his wow content is holding him back. And this is coming from someone that used to be really into classic wow. Proof that his numbers really spiked when he did Jinnytty IRL just chatting streams (and the whole FF7 remake Tifa cosplay) shows that he could diversify into other things when his rank push is over.
Holy heck man.... Dr. K's description of ADHD and excelling in the middle of multiple things, but being the master of none, is a description of the EXACT insecurity and self fulfillment issue I have been dealing with. It was hard for me to put into words.... but I never understood why I can't stop changing hobbies/interests as soon as I get good at them - which results in feeling like I have never accomplished anything ever.
I’m so envious of the community streamers have. So many of them are friends and work together. I wish I had something like that. To be a part of something for once. I don’t know how much longer I can go on
I hope you'll find (or have found) your community. While it's great to have that around you irl, if this isn't possible for some reason there are some great communities online where you can also talk to like minded people
*Esfand is the most wholesome streamer catering to my taste of content* Esfand is a content beast, being welcoming to everyone even a shitty sperg like me, reading our messages and joking with us . Being there for us and always caring about what his community wants. Esfand is just a great person, a person anyone would love to be friends with. That said I never felt like Esfand showed us how all the hate hurts him. SInce he's trolling all the time its hard to tell actual emotion from comedy skit. Classic really turned out to be one of the most toxic communities. On pservers you had some elitist try hards too but never in that amount. The first time i saw how much hate Esfand got was during twitch rivals warsong... Their hatered for someone playing the game and stomping in pvp *despite* being a Paladin blows my mind. It's like they see this game like a math question rather than a fun interactive hub of people. "Esfand is ruining Asmons team" "Esfand does not deal as much as a warrior" "Esfand is on top of warcraft logs, change it back to warriors" All this hatred because a streamer with a hell of a great attitude is playing the game with fun and success while you are desperately trying to have fun doing math equations about which class would be optimal, I recommend you check your way of thinking because that shit is getting you nowhere.
This was a really good interview, however, I do wish Esfand would have closed out of Discord and chat to focus more on the actual conversation. It seems like sometimes he was on autopilot just agreeing with Dr. K instead of engaging in the conversation. Hopefully Esfand is able to come back to stream soon and creates the content that makes him happy.
Just like there are too many streams that focus on donations and chat, they interrupt the conversation every 15 seconds to say "thank you for the sub, So-and-So"... it takes away from the experience... in this regard we can see how streamers like Vinesauce or even Doc Disrespect didn't give a fuck, they made the content that they themselves would like to watch. I think that should be the focus. But then it's like everything else in life, you can perceive the same ratio of trash-to-gold in music for an example, 10% of really good musicians that play because they have some sort of calling in life to do that, and the other 90% of musicians that are just in it to get money or to not have to break their backs working in a real job anywhere else. The harsh reality. If everyone did a great job there would be no way to perceive greatness.
When people have to open themselves up sooner or later the important people in their lives rise up as a beacon (either negative or positive) and when the very first 2 minutes he had to mention Jinny, it put and smile upon my face. . . . . Im a shipper, indeed.
Esfan needs to take the reins on his stream. He is letting feedback and numbers as dictate his stream. Twitch Viewers have different things they want to watch they're not always just they're for the person alone. It's conditional to where they want to watch X streamer playing y game. If you have things you want to do Esfan you just have to do them and ignore the backhanded comments people make because people will be disappointed if they're not getting exactly what they want. It's not you though it's their expectations. It's not up to the streamer to match the viewer's expectations all the time. If you have other games or things you want to stream great do them. And it's up to the viewers if they want to watch or not. It's not your responsibility to always cater your stream towards your viewers. You will find some people will stick around for other things and some won't that's just how it is. You're being a bit too people pleasing your wants and needs are important too. You don't need to be optimizing your stream for maximum viewers if it means you're not feeling as good about streaming as you could be. Overall Happiness is important when streaming you don't want to get the point where you completely burn out and it becomes an obligation more than something you enjoy doing. You should talk to your stream friends and ask them for advice because I'm sure a lot of the people who went into more variety content have been dealing with the same issues.
Only 25 mins in but its sooo interesting how Dr. K mentioned the Vata thing which I think means wind? (new viewer here) And noticing the pacing of the conversation. Very very fast at first then multiple times when Dr. K interrupts Esfand on purpose with a really though provoking general questions. Like "Are you good enough?" I'm really really enjoying this content it might be one of the best on the platform no cap.
idk if it's because of the adhd , but his constant callbacks to WoW related references, especially his guild and his "accomplishments" in-game really worries me. He's completely addicted to the game to the point where he's unable to have a conversation with another human being without constantly shoe-horning the game and aspects of it into every sentence. I wished Dr. K would've touched on that a little more. Relating his in-game and stream persona to his personality is all well and good, but the reason Esfand faces the criticisms in his streams are for reasons he actively chooses not to mention in this conversation. There's a big ego attached to this in-game "accomplishments" which is hurting him, and I really wished they'd spent some real time on that in this convo. We've had discussions about ego with so many previous guests on this format, but for some reason it wasn't really brought up in this one. Not hating, just pointing out some observations.
Do you think it's too keep Esfands attention? So that over time he can wien him off his WoW obsession? I don't watch Dr K so I could be chatting. Esfands convos remind me a lot of the friend that you have where you only have one thing in common. When you try to change the topic, they come back to that one thing (not meant to be rude, just an observation).
@@danialzaman1438 Oh yeah, of course, you could very well be right about that. I'm not knowledgeable about this subject enough to give you a proper response to that, but I get you. I just wish it was actually called out by dr. K and addressed, because it was completely ignored throughout the conversation. I think it could've helped esfand a lot. Or maybe not, I could be wrong.
I mean value is subjective. To you it may seem like he is placing too much value on the game and is in a way too into it. But if it's important to him, as long as it doesn't seriously hinder his well-being, who is anyone else to say he shouldn't do it. We all like and appreciate different things in life. Someone wants to spend a lot of time reading, someone partying, someone playing a video game. One isn't really better than the other. Besides, he's making a lot of money off that game and he clearly is considering cutting down on his playtime already.
@@karltanner3953 You seem to have grossly misunderstood what I originally said and for some reason have taken personal offense to it. Also, what you're doing is basically textbook denial, and for a third person no less. Why?
@@Sykretts I may have misunderstood what you said. I can absolutely own it. However I did not take personal offense to any of it. You may have misunderstood me there. What part of what I said was denial in your opinion?
Great stuff as always. I related to needing to have variety in what I do. I think a lot of people could do with more variety to be honest, we get a bit siloed in jobs and over-specialised. But its nice to know that people have different levels of need for variety.
Very good interview, thank you. It addresses quite a lot that's relevant in my life as well. With that said, and with no intention whatsoever to trivialize, I have to get this out of me: Broke: "I have ADHD." Woke: "I have a vata personality." Bespoke: "I am an actual retribution paladin (IRL)." (Alright the last one is not really similar to the first two imho, but I really "got it" and also laughed. I also have ADHD, am a vata, and the two class-specs (and professions) I play are actual reflections of my personality/values, as "LARP"-y as that sounds.)
Damn.. I'm 30 and play video games almost every day, after work. It never occurred to me that people who play video games as work kind of put all of their life values into video games. It almost seems silly to me how invested and serious he speaks about WoW
This is a great interview/ talk. Thank you so much Dr. K! I appreciate your work and giving visibility to mental issues. I've learned a lot from your sessions with streamers and gamers and am beginning to understand some of my own sumskaras. There's a lot of undiagnosed mental issues that I didn't even know where to begin addressing before I started watching your videos.
That's actually normal specially when peoples you are talking too are giving you too many information and if you have to be productive and give them something that will might change their own perspective or will get them closer to the problem it's better to ask for pause and normally let it go trough your head. Specially when person is talking a lot that seems to be important for him but is less important for an actual cause. Lot of people thinks that their i have launch today that wasn't really good is sometimes important then i wake up with a bad mood today and its happening constantly.
I wonder how he'll feel when he checks off that final box. That would be an interesting conversation. I'm guessing he won't get the fulfillment hes expecting to get
its ok to say you dont want to play wow on stream as a flat statement, Esfand cares so much about his community that he doesnt want to let them down, hes a champ
There is a reason why Asmongold doesn't stream classic WoW, I thought the Advertise saga was funny but at the same time it was the epitome of toxic content.
I really like the classic wow community but it is one of the most toxic ive ever been apart of. Not so much with the name calling and bullying but more so ina selfish, deceitful, and malicious way. The game allows for it though. I dont really see it as a terrible thing but in some cases it can be really hateful and personal. Of course im generalizing here and I still love the game but its hard to ignore.
Good interview You know what would be awesome, if he could interview the OGs of twitch LAGTV, Maximusblack and Novawar, how life of a full time streamer since the birth of twitch til now then they are are the ones that can give so much valuable information
Dr. K could really use some kind of "DVR" playback software to re-watch the last 30-or-so seconds of the conversation so he doesn't lose track of the content the other person is delivering. =)
Alot of us who have ADHD have not been taught how to manage certain situations or effects caused by it. I've noticed alot of us (atleast, males) seem to hit this kind of situation around 26 to 28..
You see so many big streamers with declining mental health. They forget how reality and a job works so they start being insecure about themselves. Feeling like they have to do the right things for random people they don't even know. How can people today still think that twitch is a healthy platform to be a viewer and streamer on? It keeps depressed people depressed.
Esfand should change lifestyle in my opinion. He seemed like 10 times happier being with Jinny and I think he should sacrifice Grand Marshal for her to be honest.. and he would be happier than ever. Plus he should realise that he won't be a bad person not helping everyone every time when there is an opportunity. I was kinda like that and it's hard to come trough that but you need to do it eventually. Not to mention that there are things worth a ton more than WoW and you can still hang out with the community trough DC anytime. He has a WoW addiction and you can tell by the amount he speaks about WoW instead of anything else but it can be cured by someone loving or by doing more interesting stuff.
I don't think he has a wow addiction, but he is extremely invested in it and he loves the game. Dr k's take on it was pretty accurate to me, and Esfand himself is looking forward to toning down the wow grind and adding the more creative side of him back into his career.
Esfand giving up the things he likes to start depending emotionally upon a girl doesn't sound like the healthiest of advices to my ears. He must learn how to rely on himself emotionally, without using external crutches. Otherwise he will never be able to keep the girl with him (or whatever else is his object of desire of the moment) One of the quintessential moments in the life of a man is the first breakup and the first divorce, these moments and how you react to them are so crucial to how you're going to live the rest of your life. Seeking comfort and avoidance of these moments will only prevent you from evolving and moving on.
@@kamekazi1123 Actually Dreijer has been watching me since I started streaming on RU-vid, there was a stream where I was building my new PC on Twitch after I got banned from RU-vid streaming and Dreijer was there whole time helping me out when I had like 80 viewers, this was in December of 2017. I'm pretty well connected with my community know who a lot of people are... also hey Dreijer :D
@@kamekazi1123 Why are you negative? Esfand says how it is. I don't think you know more than Esfand himself :) Leave the man to enjoy himself. Love u Esfando
Esfand sounds like he is trying to play video games for fun, while allowing those who play games for competition are putting in their 2 cents. Just do whats fun and your stream will eventually draw in that type of energy. Be happy and happy will come to you brother. If you allow the comments of try hard's to affect you, the guess what, it will affect you.
I'm one of these viewers that never played WoW myself and never particularly cared for MMO's out there. I think one of the problems comes from the nature of the WoW game itself, looks like a very boring game overall, at least after the initial leveling and buildup, it's very thin after that. I think these guys are phisically draining themselves trying to "find fun" in such a boring game for this long time, it's like plucking hairs out of eggs, there's only so much you can do in it. That's how it looks like observing it from the outside. From time to time OK, I could play this game and have a relaxing little comfy time, but playing it 6 days a week full-time? That sounds like punishment.
I'm watching this on mobile and I've got so many ads that I can't even understand what they are talking about. But hey the ad is burned inside my head now so gg I guess.
I don't think so, I think he's just invested a lot into the people he plays with, his viewers and the community in general, and all of who he is is being channeled through that filter. Not to mention he just finished grand Marshall so wow has been his entire life for like 2 months.
Esfand just needs to realize he's probably the most well liked streamer overall. He's not controversial at all and everyone pretty much likes him, they definitely don't hate. Twitch just isn't like youtube where he started and people searched for him or wow content. Now he's done so damn good on twitch he's getting people who like seeing a bunch of different games. He was a big fish in a private pond now he's a big fish in an ocean of other big fish.
Agreed. Watching the scarab lord quest chain would be awesome, but the griefing is so real. Please, at least record it for RU-vid. I hate how toxic the community has become, especially as compared to the private server community. You're such a great guy, you could stream anything and people would watch. Just do what makes you happy man.
Can we just focus on one thing at a time and get it done and then move on to a new thing? Anyone with multiple windows open and things going on is gonna lose focus, clutter the mind and worsen the ADHD.
@@JVJath it's very obvious. But it's also not a bad thing. We can't expect every human to be a great speaker. that's mainstream media that made us this way.
whoever you are got you this far good also, whoever you would be if you werent this you had no guarantees to get this far so gratitude, then adjustment, if you think you are better than who you became
My dad Just commited suicide yesterday... He could not handle that mom wanted a divorce... And he did not wanted to accept any help from any1. I found him and couldnt Save him... It was too late. I dont even know why i'm writing this... It all still feels surreal to me
This kind of thing is why men need to learn how to rely on themselves emotionally instead of depending on women for approval and everything else, this can only lead to pain sooner or later (even more so in the modern politically-correct world we live in currently...)
@Sanningen Interesting. I find myself breathing slowly usually, and it's comfortable, but the times I've done wim hof's method or what you call fire breathing, it has felt great, though I imagine it wouldn't really help long term like you said.
