Teachers, what are some signs that a student is being abused? 

Everyone feeling sad after this video, I want you all to know I just got a puppy named Cricket

As someone who did not have a happy childhood, school was the only place I felt safe. Sometimes teachers and other school staff members are the only people these kids have. As the video mentioned, school staff members, at least in the US, are mandated reporters meaning they are required to report any and all suspected abuse. If you suspect that someone is being abused, please report it. If someone had done that when I was a kid, I know it would have at least gotten better if not completely stopped. Trust your gut.

I'll just add something that nobody mentioned, is a kid being very clueless to things that the average kid at their age, would/should know about. Could indicate some sort of neglect or abuse. Example: a teenager who has never had the birds and the bees talk and doesn't actually know what s$x is. A kid who is flabbergasted at other kids who do normal things like going to Walmart on a school night or participate in an after school activity, because they simply cannot imagine how a family is capable of doing those things. A kid with clear disabilities that should have an IEP or 504 plan but does not.

I am a CSA survivor. There were some concerning behaviors I displayed at school. There was never any intervention that I can remember, but I was very young when it happened. I didn't talk at all until I was three, my mom was so concerned she had my ears check because she thought I might be deaf. I had a hair-trigger temper and would frequently scream at and hit my mom, my sister, and other kids at school. I got in huge trouble for showing other kids my privates. I was terrified of teenagers, especially teen boys. But things got better when it stopped. I still struggle with some issues, but as an adult woman I've taken steps to heal.

My husband and his sisters were abuse victims. He was also "homeschooled" so he thought it was normal. It was when he was allowed to go to college that a professor suggested that he speak to a counselor. He was still living with his abusers, so when they found out they put a stop to it immediately. He made friends in college who helped him realize what was going on. So he attempted to leave, but he was still stuck in the psychological cage his years of abuse left him in. Every time he would pack up to leave, they would do everything they could to make sure he wouldn't go anywhere. He even called the police for help once, but they laughed at him for not being able to leave himself. Fortunately he got out, and is doing well. I get so mad when I hear the things his mother and step father did to him and his siblings. Even more angry that his mother got away with it because she pinned everything on the step father.

I hate that fact the the OP of story 11 had to clarify that one case of abusive gay parents doesnt mean all gay parents are abusive.... none of the stories about straight parents need that

(tw: abuse) Once, in high school, there was this girl; we weren't quite close enough to be called "friends," but we weren't acquaintances, either. One day, she said something -- I can't remember what -- and my response was to try and fist-bump her. I say "try" because I only got as far as my arm _twitching_ before she flinched. I froze, baffled, and she flinched again. I move my arm back to my side and she flinched a _third_ time. I asked if she was okay and she nervously laughed and said, "I thought you were gonna hit me!" Now, I've never hit a person before (still haven't, actually), and it was common knowledge at my school that I wasn't violent. So, my brain essentially went, "That's...odd. Hm. Idk what just happened, but something's not right." Then, I felt guilty, because there isn't much difference between a fist-bump and a punch (only that one of them requires force and intent to hit the person), so I apologized for scaring her and explained that I was only going for a fist-bump. She laughed nervously/relieved and then she fist-bumped me, and I let the moment pass. When I got home, I just got this weird feeling, and I told my dad, "Hey, so something weird happened today..." and told him about the situation. Dad, who used to work with victims of domestic abuse, said, "it sounds like she might be abused at home. Do you know anything about her home life?" For her privacy, I won't elaborate, but she _had_ said some vaguely concerning things in the past. Dad then recommended that I go tell the school counselor, so the very next morning I did just that. The counselor thanked me for bringing this to their attention and praised me for recognizing clear signs of abuse (which I felt was unwarranted -- my dad recognized the signs, not me). Anyways, they told me that they won't be able to keep me informed of what happened afterwards, as that would be violating the girl's privacy; so I don't actually know what happened afterwards. What I _do_ know is that she gradually stopped flinching so much and seemed more confident the rest of the school year, so I can only assume that the school was able to do _something_ right for her. I don't know where she is now, but I hope she's doing better.

When I was 15-16 in secondary school, I had stopped doing any and all work in class, I would sleep in certain classes and I managed to talk my way out of PE because I hated physical exercises and undressing in public. I was frequently pulled out of class to be scolded for being manipulative and lazy (I would often be reduced to tears which the teachers claimed I was faking) I was actually suffering burn out from undiagnosed autism, deeply depressed and was being intimately abused by a friend of my dad’s that I’d known and trusted since I was a baby. I sometimes bitterly wish I could look my teachers in the eyes and tell them how my last two years there were the worst in my entire life so far; and hope that they felt even a sliver of shame.

I grew up for the longest time in a messed up home. I remember in third grade I fell on the playground and hurt my wrist(turns out it was springed) and I felt fine. But my friend at the time wanted me to go to a teacher because I couldn't move it properly. I remember I started sobbing because I didn't want my parents to find out. I was terrified my mom's boyfriend at the time was gonna beat me for being "stupid" and literally tried to run away from a teacher that wanted to take me to the nurse

Reminder: Abuse is also bullying, any type, even at school. :)

i've only been abused once....and that was when i was 12...i accidentally slapped my mom....i just wanted to hold her face which i haden't ever done before (which meant i also lacked a bit of cordination) but i wanted to and try to cuddle....instead i accidentally slapped her....i wanted to apologize but i was slapped back...not hard mind you but hard enough to scare me and make me cower away in my room and in tears....she never came to comfort me and she never apologized....but she's also always been a bit verbally abusive i guess (i'm 19 now...still think about it a whole lot...)

(Obvious tw for abuse and my account of its affects, apologies for the length) As someone who was verbally/emotionally abused throughout childhood, I’m glad some of these stories mentioned that type or specific ways children are affected by abuse, such as 14 and 17. Mainly, the way the signs manifested for me were through escapism and fear of failure. I constantly wrote stories and drew, often told I was “lost in my own little world.” When I played, I typically played games like dolls or other toys I could control- alone. The stories I made were of the child running away, the family/child dying, or the family having the most perfect, loving life. It was ALWAYS centered around family or familial friendships. During classes, I had consistently good grades, and hated getting questions wrong. If I got a question wrong, I would get defensive or scared. I never saw the point in explaining myself to the teachers trying to help me understand. Because I equated it to home life, where no matter what I said to atone for mistakes, I would be punished. So explaining meant I was digging myself a deeper hole and I would be punished anyways. So I thanked them and said that I didn’t need assistance and I realized my mistake/could figure it out myself. In the same vein, this meant that I was one of those kids that was a goody-two-shoes. I followed the rules to a T and unfortunately had a history of lying or throwing someone else under the bus in the few instances I got in trouble. I had a habit of expending others to save my own skin and an unsettling ability to lie and manipulate not just teachers, but peers too at such a young age. Other signs I exhibited were an aversion to authorities- specifically any adult, whether it be the principal or a lunch lady. I made a point to lay low, trying to be as invisible as possible. If I didn’t exist, there would be no need to for them to be angry. I was overly polite when I did exist, to enforce that I was not upset (grounds for punishment) and aimed only to please. (In my mind, I was diffusing a fight before it began.) Any sudden sounds, such as a textbook falling, resulted less in a small shock, and more of a fight or flight response- to which mine was always freeze, to make sure I could weigh my next actions and listen for any other information. It was always about controlling my reactions and emotions. That ability had others telling me I was “so level-headed” and “mature for my age.” Other times it made me “hard to read.” To many of my teachers, I was a very easy and seemingly normal student. I always had clean clothes, my parents packed me lunch in elementary school, I was generally very sweet and had good grades… I seemed like a normal kid for those who didn’t know the signs. I never had bruises and I didn’t typically flinch from sudden movements. Sure, I still didn’t like being touched and was wary of others, but it was always chalked up to shyness. Some of this behavior was intertwined with my undiagnosed autism at the time, but the parts that were simply autistic traits were soured by the abuse I was facing at home. The saddest reality of emotional and verbal abuse, I feel, is that nobody is inclined to believe you. If there isn’t any physical evidence such as bruising or red marks, if there aren’t any obvious signs of abuse such as flinching, regression, or neglect of physical appearance, most children suffering from a verbally or emotionally abusive household will be dismissed. Even when a child explicitly states they feel unsafe at home or that a family member is insanely cruel towards them, they are dismissed. (I’ve unfortunately experienced this firsthand many times when reaching out for help.) Non-physical abuse is just as destructive and dangerous as physical abuse. I often wondered as a kid when my mother’s threats of hitting or killing me would be made a reality. As an adult, I struggle with multiple serious mental illnesses. I have flashbacks. I have terrible trust issues. I have chronic health issues from my mental illnesses. I have tried ending my life several times- both as a kid and as an adult. My understanding of reality was severely skewed as a result of the gaslighting and escapism I used as a coping mechanism. The worst fact is that I am twenty years old, turning twenty-one this year. I am so young, yet I’ve been exposed to things I should not have. I struggle with issues I should not be. This comment got a little away from me, but for anyone who works with kids that’s reading this, PLEASE, know the signs of child abuse and neglect. Even if CPS is called and nothing is done, do what you can to make that kid’s life at school or daycare better. I’m not saying to raise them, as that is not your job, but please, make the place you work with them in safe. So they have SOMEWHERE to go to feel that way. They are going to be affected by the damage already done, but if the authorities cannot take them away from an unsafe household, try to provide a safe classroom, daycare facility, campground- whatever it is. (In the end, always alert the authorities, but please update the child as much as you reasonably can. Give them a heads-up at the very least that cops or CPS will be called. This is THE CHILD’S case, to which they know the situation firsthand and the degree of safety of certain actions taken.)

A little wholesome but also sad story. TW: SA I am an SA survivor. Although I was never touched, I was forced to show my body to my brother. I lived with him, as he hit me, yelled at me, and asked me to do inappropriate things (always including showing him my body). I was 9 when it started, 10 when it ended, and he was 13 when it started and 14 when it ended. I told my parents when I was 11. What he did was illegal, but we couldn’t get him into juvie or anything of the sort due to lack of evidence, even though he confessed and there were texts. I’m 12 now, having to live knowing my childhood was ripped away early. I got pulled over in class the other day. I get mad really easily. She asked if everything was okay in my home life. I didn’t explain, but I did say I was dealing with my past. She said to me; “I get that. I used to dwell on my past too. Just know- You didn’t deserve what happened. You don’t have to search for why. I’m sorry. It will get better soon.” I went to the bathroom and cried after that. I fucking love Montessori schools. Teachers actually help the students. My old counselor just told us all to stop crying. I love my teachers.

I love how you've been reading answers to some really heavy subjects, since the more people who hear about these things, the more people know what to look for and can act/help and show empathy and understanding when they meet someone who's struggling. Thank you for that! Have a wonderful day/night, to anyone who's reading this - wherever you are!

hearing about how some of the subtle actions children tend to make under abuse being real close to what I did as a kid with zero real abuse, and at best just inexperienced strict parenting... goes to show just how fine the line between a strict parent or guardian is from becoming an abusive one. most of what I used to do stemmed more from personal mental health issues rather than external threats so I can't really understand that side of things... though I can absolutely see how a kid can be driven to the madness of literally being seconds away from offing themselves for good for various ill fated reasons... TL;DR the minds and mental health of a child is so fragile yet so resilient that they'll suffer without even realize they're suffering, as they only ever get to see "functioning" adults and other peers in terms of how they represent themselves... thinking that because no ones seems to take notice of their issues, they're just a normal occurrence for others that you need to learn to get used to and "think nothing of" to be a viewed as just another ordinary guy. I may actually be wrong about the division between strict and abusive parents, as despite how my parents are today... their early years of having me and my brother around may not have been that great... especially if you only get to hear my POV of it as I sure as hell have plenty bad and sometimes almost traumatic moments of it that I had to explain and have their ways fixed later on my parents' side of things. either way, my main point is that when a kid seems to act independent while having no idea what actually they're supposed to do and ending up barely being able to complete it on time... make note of it. it's either external abuse, or in my case, undiagnosed mental health issues that later sent me down such a slippery slope towards the void that even today... 6 years since the worst of it, there are lingering effects of it that leaves me on occasion with no will to get up from bed for an entire day, due to my mind being an asshole and drilling a sense of dread into me regardless of how stupid it's reasons really are in hindsight. kids who're like me will never admit that there's something wrong with them... hell, back in my childhood prior to it getting worse, I actually had no idea that there was something wrong... even though I always felt like an entity was watching me, out of my sight. stuff like closed doors at home scared me because I had delusions of potentially finding just an empty void in time behind it rather than the usual room. silence while being in my own room also scared me and made me never turn my head away from a single position, out of fear of making eye contact with the "monsters" that always watched me. there's a small list of things I feared at the time and some that I still do even though I know they're irrational now... like being left in the dark alone, as to me who genuinely have times where I hallucinate vivid entities in the dark that aren't actually there, it's hell. even now as I go to get water during the night from the kitchen, I always turn to face the room while getting the water so the entities can't sneak up on me. check kids and check them good if something is off. period. personally being viewed as a potential weirdo from how much you could end up prying into, is a much better outcome than learning about a kid going down the same god damn path and ending up in a worse spot than me.

I think the girl who lied about FGM should be checked on to figure out WHY she lied. Might be there's some other kind of abuse going on

That last story jumped out to me. I don't have any physical abuse, but I never actually had my parents there for me. I'm always worried about getting them to sign permission slips or get their help with homework. And so I fail my work, and my classes get low grades, and they become disappointed. It's a horrible cycle.

In middle school I had multiple teachers thinking that I was neglected bc I never wore a coat when it was "cold out" I was born up north and moved down south so their definition of cold is way different than up north. I didn't think it was cold at all and was even sweating. My teacher told me I needed a coat and she gave me hers which I didn't put of. I told her I didn't need it and wasn't cold and the next day I came in without a coat they told me they were thinking of getting cps involved. I explained to them why I didn't need a coat and I was furious with them. They didn't listen and said if I didn't come to school with a coat tmr they would get authorities involved. So I brought a coat with me which I kept around my waist. I wore it passing the teachers and took it off as soon as I got outside to get on the bus.

Wonder how the hell I managed to fall through the cracks as a child. Oh, right, my parents used the magic spell of blaming everything on Beavis and Butthead and Eminem.

Thanks for the self-care check at the end, that's very sweet

I was watching a show (I forget the title), and the particular theme for the episode was body language. The main character's wife is a teacher, and she had a student who didn't turn in a few assignments, so she called his parents for a conference. The dad raised his hand to pull his hair in frustration and the kid immediately raised the hand closer to the mother to try and block a hit, but the mother didn't raise a hand. The teacher thought the kid's father was abusing him, so she calls child services on them, then afterwards both of them come to the school to confront the teacher about it, the dad showing volatile behavior while the mom is holding him back. At the end of the episode, it's revealed that it's actually the mom who's hitting the kid. The body language aspect comes into play when he put up an arm to block his mom, not his dad, because his dad's not the one hitting him. It's all about watching for changes in behavior/dress/ or really anything out of the ordinary for that student.

A couple of years ago, I did a course (well several courses) on safeguarding children, vulnerable adults, spotting signs of abuse etc. I did the course because someone I know had it all. If there was ever such a thing as a "try not to puke challenge", that would be it.

This video is actually really helpful for me. I plan on being some kind of teacher later in life (still in high school rn), and I’d never even thought about this before, but of course recognizing signs of home abuse and reporting concerns would be important. Thanks for the video, even if it’s not a lighthearted one.

forth to here, we gon see how sad this will be edit: IM GONNA CRY

you know you fucked up when a teacher doesn't call you a father

csa survivor here. none of my teachers noticed or cared and only ever punished me for my “outbursts”. i went to a ‘rich school’ too.

Gre up with a military dad, alcoholic, unstable, abusive. I was the ‘shy one’ my sister was the’agressive bully’ ……the fact that we moved about 20 times before I hit high school meant that he was being moved on cause no-one wanted to put up with his bs, and we never got to get away from it. I’m glad in Australia now, the family can choose a ‘base’ and stay while the military member can do stints elsewhere and come back…..but thinking about it I don,t think my dad would have taken that up, imagine losing control of your females.

That last one describes me to a T. I write characters with horrendous backstories, or just terrible human characters and sympathetic monsters. I also often lie about the real story of my dad. I like to say he went to get milk. He didn’t. He just stopped wanting to see me when I was four because of his drug use. I still kind of resent him a little for abandoning his daughter for drugs.

Thank you for highlighting this heavy topic. I am not a counselor or professional, but I want to one day be in a position to help abuse victims and this helps me know what things to look out for

I'm concerned about the sheer number of "signs" that applied to me when I was in grade school...

I’ve realised that I’ve shown many of those “signs,” purely because I am shy, and don’t like talking to people all the time.

I was being abused my entire young life by my Mom, mostly emotionally and occassionally physically. I wanted to stay hidden and out of the spotlight and all of my clothes were hand-me-downs while my sister got new clothes when she wanted. My Dad fought to protect me but mom always got him arrested by claiming he hit her when he didn't, then would punish me with no dinner or a belt whipping just for speaking out about it. CPS let me down despite coming over 7 different times when my sister blew the whistle herself. I'm beyond mentally damaged and absolutely despise both the school system and CPS as well as police, just because they never listened to our constant cries for help.

Some of these also apply to adults. One thing is pretty easy to test, If you get your hand above your head fast they go into defense mode, but that can also be from many other things besides abuse. But don't test it without reason, it would be rude.

Not a victim of home abuse but I did suffer a lot of verbal abuse as a child at my old church, was SA’d at a young age, was groomed online, and go nonverbal often. I’ve only ever raised concern twice with my teachers. First time was in 8th grade where I had just been starting to explore my gender identity and wrote a poem about my dysphoria, which was mistaken for low self esteem. I essentially got outed because my mom was emailed. Second was when I was required to write about my early religious experiences and I mentioned that when I was little, church staff verbally abused me. But throughout the whole time those things were ACTUALLY happening, they went unnoticed or were dealt with in a way that ended up being more damaging.

(Tw for abuse) I was abused as a child to early teens, from the ages of 3/4-14. I would rarely ask for help due to fear of being told off, yelled at, told “you’re 6-14 years old! You know how to do this!”, feeling like an idiot, ect. I would shut down/tear up after being told off/yelled at. I wouldn’t tell anyone if I made a mistake because I’d fear being yelled at for it or threatened. I wouldn’t say no often, I’d fear being hit, punch or grabbed, even if I did say no and was told off for saying no I’d end up “changing my mine” and saying I would do the thing the person wanted me to do. I’d jump/flinch at sudden movements and loud noises, even covered my ears at loud noises. I’d be fearful near a friend who had abused me behind closed doors. I’d try sneak away from her to be with my other friends, literally obey her, try keep a distance and wouldn’t really treat her like a normal friend would. No one had really said or done anything. A few times I even voiced out about the abuse and all that happened was the person would be talked to and nothing would happen. I haven’t told anyone who has the duty of looking after me or minors or others about my mum, my now ex abusive friend and her mum who also abused me had done to me, they keep failing me and I’m just trying to heal now. For context with my mum, she’s too busy with work to really do anything with me. I just kinda do whatever really

I would just like to say thank you to everyone who commented their stories about abuse. Your feelings are valid and you deserve a safe place. Everyone does. I plan to be a teacher for teenagers (12-13) and I am trying to learn signs of abuse. I know schools have training procedures for this but sometimes it's best to hear from others.

If someone acts childish or makes animal noises or is overly goody goody and scared of getting in trouble and if they even get spoken to start crying or getting scared

8:35 My two nieces show many of these signs. Their parents are divorced and I know that their mother is a good person since I know her personally, but their father on the other hand... They're neglected when they're at their father's house. From all the days they are supposed to spend at their father's house, they spend 99% at their grandma's or aunt's from that side. Not only that but like I said, they both show many signs that they might have been s3xu@lly abused. behaviour specialists their mom send them to see have already confirmed that there's probably something going on, but their father stopped giving permission for the examination to be continued, so there's really not a lot they can do. The worst part is that all the lawyers are siding with the father. He and the grandmother are extremely narcissistic and know how to get them on their side, basically walking all over the mother. It's really sad to see how my nieces can't get the help they really need because their father is refusing to let anyone help them. It's a shame that no authorities see that something is definitely wrong.

Story 1: I work in medicine and bed wetting is such a cardinal sign for sexual abuse. There’s no other needed criteria in the hospitals I’ve worked in to contact child protective services, once Neuro or other cause is ruled out . I had one hospital that had a 12 hour reporting limit to CPS… My god that poor girl. Story 2: it can be so rough to not know the follow up, but that’s because any investigation with children is kept sealed to need to know basis, but I hope you saw changes. Otherwise, another complaint should be placed.

I survived CSA. I did not show many signs but i did not like people touching me and thus didnt really focus on keeping clean. I also did not talk much and dozed off often in class because i was afraid to go to sleep. The thing is, both my brothers have autism and behaved very similar. I might even also have autism but was never really tested (even tho now in adulthood like 3 seperate therapist have said its obvious i have it but i am still not diagnosed) so all these signs were asumed to be that.

We are a foster family, so we deal with the aftermath, hurt, and fear of these poor children

For me it was more my parents were constantly fighting and it was getting worse so i would load my schedule with clubs and activities. I would stay in the orchestra room when i didnt have anything to do. Out of all 5 teachers i had only one picked up on this.

somewhere around 13:00 mentions "flinching when somewhere goes near them" and sometimes I do that not because of my mother, but my own brother who takes everything out on me and my mother would tell him to stop but hes in the generation where every single kid is terrible and I believe he's influenced by it, causing him to outburst on the only person he can outburst on (me)

When the description says the channel owns all the content, does that mean they wrote the questions and the answers to them? Did they do all the scripting? I'd thought this was one of those channels that reads/voices threads from something like Reddit.

This one hit very close to home no only was I constantly being bullied at school I was being verbally, emotionally and psychiatrically abused at home only nobody ever considered that I was being abused because you know heaven for bid the autistic girl is actually being abused with her Nuro typical older brother is it note my brother got to get away for a minute when he turned 18 and went away to college and 30 now I still have to deal with it actually pushing 31 because my mom threatened me to lie to a judge so she could get guardianship of me before I turned 18 so I still have to deal with my abuser know she also abuses my father too, so there’s that as well so I’m still dealing with my abuser from childhood is called my piece of work mother nobody ever stepped in. Oh there was one time one person stepped in and I had to fill link. It was a Fun work support stuff because in America is in my said they have support staff that work with children and also different disabilities. I have a feeling that she was the one who reported it one time one of them because do you see why I have to come at like 11 o’clock at night as I have been asleep, so I had to get up for that and yet nothing came out of it, and next day I know apparently they were going to work with me anymore turn down my mom tried to fire her and succeeded and get her fired from at least working with me. The one person who did you do diligence and called child protective services was forced not to work with me any more than one person who did you do virgins in tried to step in response by mate piece of work, mother to not walk with me anymore note, I used to not be bad when I was young but after my grandmother died and now it’s nine no, this is my paternal grandmother, a golf bad quickly if my mothers parents only knew and I’ve had feeling members who kind of had a deer, but they couldn’t do anything at a time because they were still under age. They were my cousins they were in high school even want to hit college. They were kind of a rock and a hard place and doing something and then the one time they had a nothing was getting ready to do something. My mom made them not working with me. I’m on this was a cousin who I saw as more of an older sister than just an older cousin. and they were in college for social services they went for like some cost of the services program they currently work for our states Charla protective services or DCYF within our state I wonder if the fact that they knew they couldn’t save me played a factor in them doing that, but yeah, the few times people have tried to help get me out of that situation. The contact with me was cut without my prior knowledge until Atwell afterwards and with out my permission office fully just for my mom to try to say face and tell me my dad who is also being abused by her stuck with our abuser and like I said, it’s not just me as I get it even now dental in my father to put the near busker skip he’s too afraid of her at this point to filed for divorce because I’d be only way he could skate, but he used to foreign way way too far and at this point even but then he was all the way to far in to be able to get himself and me out and mom like I said she made me like her church so she could remain my guardian after I turned 18 so I’m still dealing with that junk and I want to go away with my brother because he’s luckily nerve typical and when I went to college same state, yes driving distance Jasper still decided to stay on campus for four out of five years Dwayne yeah he didn’t stay on college campus was the year he was a broad and then came back for that summer after college before moving to another state so how’s that for being abused at home and did I mention I was also bullied at school and this is great and I was only being done with this abuse from my mother but then within void by student a teacher yeah and people wonder why I have issues and yet at the same time unless you knew you didn’t know like in someways I’m somehow quite normal even for somebody with autism I don’t seem like I have an issue sometimes but then sometimes my issues are so bad people wonder why I have issues what is a Post all that bullshit that’s why I have issues

me watching this so i can hide it better

3:15 you likely don’t get updates due to privacy laws. I remember hearing about medical emergencies and whenever anyone pressed me for updates afterwards, I wouldn’t have anything, because it wasn’t my right to know. I don’t know why people thought I would get some insider information, but I never heard anything before it was released to everyone.

i think i was a csa victim? its hard for me to understand if i was or not which is probably making it worse to think about but anyway, i saw another comment mention how school is often safer and how teachers are sometimes the only friendly and i don't know, normal? and supportive adult figures in a child's life. I notice this in myself a lot as i've distanced myself from my family quite a bit at this point, especially my father, and i've just been thinking about how it is odd and understandably sad to notice that you feel closer to teachers than your own parents. i look up to my teachers, always have, and i know its because of the many iffy factors in my family. another thing is that i just completely don't feel any love or attraction to people, i just don't really know what it feels like and i cant really tell if that's because of my upbringing or just me as a person but i'm just quite nervous in general about getting close to someone, especially sexually oh and the fact that it just sounds so odd to me that people can be close to their families and have normal hang outs and chats? and family members that frankly aren't creeps? respect your privacy and you can joke with them? like hello? sometimes its easier to chat to teachers and be at school than it is to even be at home. like i cannot imagine normal interactions, its just so foreign and uncomfortable. its just alienating to realize just how messed up my emotions are as a result of everything after watching, i now realize just how many signs i show

Hi, I hope it's okay to ask, could you please add a warning for the flashing lights in this video please? Thank you so much

Hi this will be sad

I am not here because I want to know if I relate to these… definitely not…. :(

i have been hit a lot as a kid and honestly I feel from where I am people think its normal to do so idk... what sucks is my mom still thinks she has a right to hit me and will do so if she's mad. its not like hitting which would leave a mark but like I still feel its wrong even if done in a joking manner. like yesterday she asked me to clean this hollow rod like thing where you hang curtains and then clear some stuffs of the couch. I did the rod part and sat down and told I'd do the clearing stuff after a break. and she started telling me about how she can do stuffs for hours and i cant do 2 tasks continuously and in a joking way slightly hit my arm with that rod I cleaned earlier and kept aside to dry. It didn't hurt at all or injure but I feel this wasn't right of her to do so? (I might be wrong and it could be normal tho idk...). Also like few months bad I was sitting on couch and watching something on laptop and I had headphones on. She was sitting across me in a sofa and I think she might have called me few times and I didn't respond cuz I didn't hear so she threw this small box or something at me and it hit my chin. Man that hurt. :'( So yea many a times when my mom moves her arms around me, I flinch cuz I am scared I will be hit since I have been hit so much since childhood, and I think if a child flinches around their parents something is wrong (I guess?). Also what sucks is all these are recent incidents like yesterday or couple months back and I am 26! But yea I as I said I don't think I have ever been hit so much to leave a mark (as far as I can recall)

Remember, one of the signs of kids being s**ually abused is knowledge of practices that are reserved for adults. By teaching young kids in school or even kindergarten about these advanced practices, kids aren't necessarily primed/groomed for abuse, but they mask the kids who actually are since it is a less sure sign of abuse.

Meiosis

7th less go

First

I checked so many of the boxes mentioned in this video, throughout all of middle and high school, and not a single teacher or admin picked up on it (or if they did, they didn't lift a finger). I'm so glad these students had teachers that cared and took action. I really wish I'd had that.

Abusers make me lose faith in humanity

As someone who was not treated well by adults in the past, these are stories that everyone needs to hear and learn from. I myself am a mandated reporter since I work with special needs kids and adults at my church and we get training to spot this sort of thing and are required to report. Because any of us can make a huge difference by knowing what to look for and taking action. These stories are a very good example of that. As hard as they are to make, I'm glad they are out here so that we can hear these stories and pass on the knowledge.

I'm glad that none of the abuse I suffered was "that bad", only emotional neglect, but it was social isolation and intellectual advancement as well as "storytelling" - drama and character writing, not lies. I remember being around 8 years old and wanting to talk politics at adult parties because I was the only kid there and I'd learnt so much from not being listened to by my parents. I identify as AroAce now and there is always a part of me that wonders if it's just because I never learnt to form those connections, but at the same time they don't feel important at all… so hard to say one of my biggest things was trying to control my environment. I never did homework because it was so boring, and as a result I never learnt to study for university I also have a big "see I told you" thing, because my parents would never believe me about things. One time we had a leak in the laundry, I looked in and found a pipe visibly shedding water against the wall. I told my mum and she told me to stop making things up, wouldn't even look. I told a friend who was joining us for dinner, they repeated my words… and mum thanked and praised them. It just kinda hurts these days where I don't feel like there's any trust in adults.

CPS often tells families when they're going to visit. I know because the vindictive woman who raised me in basically a bio-hazard of a house would scream at me to try and mitigate the amount of gross the house looked like. It only stopped because I was given a SAFE counsler by the school because my academic counselor thought I really needed it. Wound up complaining to the SAFE counselor about the fact that CPS gave the woman who raised me a warning that they were coming every single time and interviewed me with the woman in the same room. My SAFE counselor wound up calling the department of human services and demanded they interviewed me at school so even if they also failed me then I wouldn't get in trouble for speaking the truth. I thought it had been a school resource officer who had called DHS since I'd told him everything I could think of on the word of my nana. DHS realized the woman was a horrible woman because they gave her no chance to clean up her act. I will be forever greatful for that SAFE counselor. She eventually fessed up that she called DHS and specifically told them to interview me at school and give no warning for their visit.

I wasn't abused, but by the way the teachers pulled me aside and asked if I'm okay, and how students also asked if I'm okay and even said "You look tired/dead", I'm sure they though I was abused. I was the type to go from acting like a teacher's pet and was very "You hurt my feelings I hurt yours"(which got me in the principals office a lot when I was younger), to a very quiet kid who doesn't speak unless asked to, and says sorry for the littlest things and freezing up at everything. One time, I went to the office because a teacher wanted me to call home because I was sick, I saw a teacher from a few years back and all she could say was, "Yeah, she was up in the office A LOT". I felt ashamed, I avoided talking to teachers or the principle as much as possible. I have been in very bad friendships that gave me some pretty bad trust issues, now I always think I'm wrong and question if I'm a good friend. I have terrible anxiety and hate talking to people and am terrible at keeping up conversations, and acquaintance relationships get no where. I sucked at school when it came to socializing. Which that's all it ever was. All I ever did was a dance class and still never talked to people. When people at my school would go up to get awards for sports, I'd feel ashamed because I was like a "lazy student". I was also severely depressed for a few years and teachers questioned it all the time. I was in therapy for my anxiety, but my anxiety is still bad. I still feel like I wasted my life away during school years, because my family was poor and the only time I really every got out of the house was for school and sometimes dance classes. My life at school was still boring, I had no friends and even if I made friends, I was paranoid or they ended up being terrible people. While all that, everyone else was in many after school activities, had many friends, and seemed to be doing well. My life felt like the same thing over, and over, and over for YEARS. Although I still feel like I am kind-of wasting my life away, I feel like I'm much happier. Anytime I feel down though, I get scared because I feel like ima feel this way for the next few years, and think back to when I was depressed. It scares me at how any little thing could turn big and I could be back at that dark place any moment now. I was never really bullied, and my parents were nice, and even my friend who had strict parents said that my life was absolutely great, but people liked to make comments about EVERYTHING. "Yeah, your nose is big" "Your eyebrows are bushy" "You look dead/tired" "Your underweight" "Your overweight" "You could be better" "You have terrible dark circles" "Your a$$ is big" "Your weak" "Your too mean" "Your too nice" "STAND UP FOR YOURSELF" "That was too much" Life's hard. I'm AroAce, and have never wanted to get married and have kids, but there were always comments like "So excited for when you get married and have kids!" "You'll understand when you have kids." People turn platonic relationships with opposite sex into "omg yall like each other!" It's been that way for a LONG time. I'm not abused, I just show a lot of similar signs because of the unfortunate situations I've been in.

One of my best friends has same sex parents. They love him and his little brother, and are good, honest people. The OP in story 11 is exactly right when they say that not all same-sex couples are inherently bad.

first one is disgusting, who in their right mind would let an assaulted anywhere near the victim, hope that little girl is okay

(tw: abuse and neglect) I have a good friend who's 5 years younger than me and is sadly abused a lot. He gets jumped at school and has neglectful parents. He's always saying that his mom and stepdad argue, and he told me that his mom said he was an accident. His health is very obviously declining, especially his mental health, but his parents just don't care. He says he barely eats or sleeps, which concerns me. He constantly hears homophobic remarks just because he's gay and I understand that so much because I'm bisexual. He said that he's tried to khs multiple times, which breaks my heart because he's such an amazing person. I always tell him that I'll be there for him because I worry about him so much. I don't really know what I'd do without him.

The person who asked that question is definetely a parent trying to trick a teacher.

This makes me wonder if any of my elementary school teachers thought I was being abused. I was, by my awful father. But at school I would swing wildly between being completely blank-faced and silent, to scratching and biting other kids, and saying bad words and things to them. I do remember that I scared a teacher because when she yelled at me I'd just stare blankly into her eyes like a zombie. But I do wonder if any of them knew or suspected that my father was trash. Either way it was never reported so maybe they just thought I was weird lol

I think my teacher thought i was under abuse, but it was circumstantial, for example; i often wore long sleeves, but it really was just because i was cold, i had a little something caused by my lack of eating at the time, which made me colder. Speaking of not eating, i was just picky, i also bought from the canteen, which went unnoticed, i was also introverted and had ocd (reason why i didn't like people touching me), which was just something else that made her suspect it And last thing, i had a messed up sleep schedule. I often feel asleep in class. I noticed my teacher asking my sisters stuff about home. Do i get fed? Stuff like that. I appreciate that she was trying, but like, I really wasn't dealing with neglect or anything, just a story i have to share.

Another big one is not being able to take criticism. While that can be due to a big ego, in my experience it’s because they’ve constantly been put down and now see any bit of criticism as a direct attack

4:42 speaking from experience, it could also mean that the student is being bullied by someone at the school in the same way and is taking it out on others because lazy teachers don't want to do anything about it. Thank you MCP-8 for those awful 3 years of my life.

The step-mom would touch a 3 year old girl inappropriately while the mom just watched?😢 these poor kids need someone better to take care of them "All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids." -A Wise Man

I was the abused child. Most of these I can see in myself and my brother. I’m very reserved, have self esteem issues. I’m also a problem child and have bad anger issues. My brother is about the same but he used to be very silent. We left the abusive household for a bit but custody battles made us go back to the hostile environment and my brother just started acting out. But now we are fully out of that house and things are slowly getting better. We have therapy now so yay. (Sorry this is all over the place just quick rant.)

Used to be a sort of teacher for a school fund and i was handing out the exam papers. This one girl got a red dot (meaning 0 - 25 points) and she started shivering and tearing up. I asked her whats wrong and she said nothing was, i asked her again during recess and she straight up said "hes gonna remove my clothes" That was an elementary school. That shitty father is still in jail to this day

the first story killed me that judge is to blame all the way for that girls trauma

i need to know what happened to those grandparents in the beginning, they make me so fucking mad

Nice work man

Being poor doesn't mean you let your kids wear dirty clothes. It's neglect. This is coming from someone who doesn't have a lot of money.

i am a bit concerned about some of these, of course for the kids but also because i have an absolutely amazing, lovely family (no hitting, yelling and stuff) and i show some of these specifically due to my autism and other issues, i think that is also something to look for

What made the judge think the grandparents wouldn’t take the daughter around their son who they believe to be innocent?

I wish my teachers cared like these ones do. Instead I got the opposite.

how dare you use digital speed in fh5 😂

ayyy im early! keep up the good work!!

I noticed something about overly ungroomed hair in this video being a sign of abuse sometimes, but it's also worth noting the exact opposite can also be a sign; overgrooming. I grew up with an extremely emotionally and mentally abusive father - the only reason he never got physical was thanks to my mother. Grew up being bullied, left out of a bunch of things, being put on display for other kids as the class "showpiece" and "entertainment", and through that all I grew an extreme obsession on how I looked. All day every day, I had to be perfect to help cope with the way I felt; my outfit had to be straight, the skirt tucked just right when sitting, my hair constantly being brushed into the right position. It got to the point where the comb I carried in my skirt pocket was being used at least twice an hour, and those weren't light brushes either, they were full on "just got out of the shower and drying/brushing my hair" types of combs, not a quick touchup. Doing a lot better now ever since I got to uni, and I've basically all but stopped talking to my dad even if I still have to live with him - thankfully, uni and my job make it so I only actually see him less than an hour per day. But that was the most obvious sign I'd displayed due to the ability to blend in with others since I refused to let others know what was happening as I was terrified of what would happen, and if someone had caught that it could've saved me a good few years of trauma. Of course, this may not apply to everyone, but it can be a huge sign to look for more issues.

They're in a school that deals out punishments rated on grade curves would be my best bet.😅

Early! Love the videos

Wait, is a Tupperware lunchbox a sign of abuse? Why was that necessary to add if not

2oth comment, nice vid tyoo, sad this happens to such innocent kids

:(((