TF2 Heights Don't Make Any Sense 

*holy hell. we still dont have comic 7 in 7 years. who knows bay raitt what he is doing right now?*

wait a sec, wouldn't you be measuring average height from the time that Tf2 takes place rather than modern day to take into perspective how tall they'd be on a logical scale and whether that'd consider them short or not?

@The_Recruit There is VERY little difference in the average height now vs the 1960s. At no time in modern history would 5'6" be above average.

@@SquimJim Thanks for responding, this was when I was about 3 mins into the video. The standard in 19272 (when tf2 roughly takes place after MvM) was 5'9 so your video remains correct. Good video :3

​@@SquimJim *MAKE THE SPEED ONE OR I WILL STEAL YOUR SKELETON*

so true mastema. this post was fact checked by true law aligned individuals

the bell curve tolls

Should be more like 85, 100, 115

@@drdca8263Yeah 80-100 Really Isn’t All That

We have Gone Full Freedom and Full Circle Perfection

To a mann

🤓

Backstabbed before they could finish

Ranking of The letters of tf2

What 6 feet does to a man

Unironically would fit in 100% with the TF2 canon

But still merasmus is not as tall as on game if you see comic In fact he just at same size as soldier

⁠@@dumpanimatorwho are we to assume merasmus can’t change his size at will

​@@dumpanimatorhe's a wizard

Perhaps this is why in the setting Australians are so huge, Australium shields them from the shrinking effect and makes them as tall as they actually are.

I think that's engineer's voice line for dominating another engineer💀he knows

Engie is projecting.

@@blacklight683 funnily enough it isnt, its just a voiceline for a melee kill

@@ajmickey6747 oh... I never actually knew there was melee kill voice lines💀

​@blacklight683 I thought it was a domination line for when an engie dominates a scout 😭 I might be wrong but idk

That's possible, if the artist didn't have any height chart on hand they could have googled it and assumed the first result was correct, it has happened a couple of times in the Transformers franchise

​@@edvinkaziunas5847 as a veteran fnaf fan since all the way back in the fnaf 1 days... don't even get me started on official sources using fan content 💀

That's exactly what I thought, the reason why the guess was exactly correct is because the guess was used as a resource in the first place!

​@@buttersddragon Seriously, was Splinks ever paid for official merch using his models?

@@ticklemedaddyUsually not Splinks

Tell everyone you know that you're as tall as Heavy from TF2.

THE Philippines!!! But that requires great sacrifice.

South asia i guess

​@@phantomstriker7996 What's thay sacriface?

Third world countries.

That's... actually a great idea!

Americans are desperate not to use the metric system

Cigarettes burn away

I scaled the disguise kit model to fit the width of the cigarette from his mouth to discover he uses 100mm cigarettes. After stacking cigarettes I determined spy is 23 100mm cigarettes tall. So Spy is apparently over 7 feet tall if he smokes true 100mm cigarettes. Even if we say the disguise kit is wrong and he smokes regular cigarettes in the 75ishmm range, he's still close to or over 7 feet based on what I can tell.

I suspect they'd be even smaller since that cigarette is not an average cigarette in 2024.

4chan aka Weaponized Autism.

@@DMAN99 im autistic and this joke is hillarious

@@aidenyorke2132 that's cool but i dont think anyone needed to know

@@yourunclejoe9500 shut

It's from tf2chan and it (was) filled with women

Doc, cmon man!

Medic!

cmere sweetheart

engineer is dwarf artificer confirmed

Team and Fort to the bone!

It's 4chan so it's more like "You crazy sonovabitch, you did it". Because he actually used the correct formula. It's everybody else who was wrong. We discovered what he knew all along... Fucking 4chan with its arcane knowledge

Hey, still worth a point. Now wrap the answer into a sentence and you got another point.

@@HappyBeezerStudios I have no idea what you just said, but you phrased it in such a way that I feel oddly compelled to agree. 2 points for you then

Engineer's buildings could be pokemon-

Holy shit

A fair fight then? ­*­Holsters The Wrangler­*­

Sentry gun I choose you!

@@taylor3512 Sentry gun used a gun, it's super effective!

It really wasn't notably different. People don't just get taller over time, they just get shorter when there is poor nutrition, as was the case for most of history until recently. The 1960s isn't so far in the past that an average person then would be considerably shorter than one now.

@@tau-5794 Oh hello, "Acshuallyyyyyyy" guy that never fails to always shows up.

@@donbasuradenuevo Bro who asked

@@donbasuradenuevo LOL

@@tau-5794 Same could be said about your comment XD

:(

I was actually thinking the same thing. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what happened!

yeah long arms, short legs

Yeah, there is a default, but a developer doesn't has to use that default.

6'4" Engineer will haunt my nightmares

I think the artists use to post on TF2Chan so I'd believe it.

This comment appeared as soon as you were mentioned

@@_Dot_Mp4_I am the Master of Timing.

For Karl! Yeeee-Haww!

the engineer class DOES exist in DRG along with scout

@@wr3nche5 Ye-heah! Rock n' stone, leaf lovah'! WOO!

Do you mean what 6 years with no update does (still funny though)

​@@the_average_zelda_playerswitching words to make something weird.

the fact i read this three times to realize it's (intentionally) worded wrong lol

@@the_average_zelda_player He meant what he meant

Does years with 6 no updates what

How tf did Jungle Inferno come out 7 years ago

@@bruhbruh-us6gl It did, that's how.

Competitive reminder that the last major update came out on October 20, 2017.

@@secondBAR You said the c word, how could you?

When TF2 was 10 years and 10 days old.

He is a global man.

Average heights today are taller than they used to be so it could just be the time period

and somehow, the guy on 4chan was right.

I don't know if that entirely justifies it. Scout, for example, certainly grew up in the 40s and 50s, during the most economically prosperous era in the US. I would believe malnutition for Medic, Soldier, and Heavy, though.

​@@megariggedDemoman also canonically confirmed to be very malnourished, thiugh that seems to be by choice.

@@fojisan2398 Oh, really? Where?I don't remember that, although I definitely believe it.

@@megarigged That panel where Demo has an internal monologue with his organs leaving him because of his alcoholism and Spy mentioning how he "lives off of grain alcohol"

​@@megariggedin the comics when Pauling demo and spy are captured by the old team fortress

The wiki says those are 1.5X size! Semi-giants?

@@SquimJim Only a spy would lie about being a giant like that! the TF2 MVM lore deepens

@@moony_otter Those are not giants. They lack attributes Miniboss. Additionally they can be instantly be killed via backstabs.

Imagine being wrong when doing an uhm ackshully

@@wizardii4961 I got out-uhm ackshully'd :( lol gg, yeah i never really noticed the difference, personally, but that was my bad

One person here used Spy's cigarette to measure. I suggested taking a gun barrel. Then there are obviously the oil drums on many maps. And pieces of wood like the bridge on 2fort, which most likely are bought following a standard and not custom tooled. Individual steps on staircases might also work, they aren't always the same, but fall into a pattern that is comfortable to use.

Merasmus seems to be based on Sniper model scaled up to be twice as tall as him.

Merasmus in game and comic have different size tho In the comic Doom-mates his height is just a few inch taller from soldier and a woman on that comic But sience he can alter human size it is not really surprise if he actually just increase his height in game

Merasmus is as tall as he wants to at the moment.

Tayfay 2!

I misread it as “TF2 Highlights make no sense” and thought it was going to be trashing on highlight reels lol

Your pfp is worrying

@@Pangloss6413 I don't even what it is

Keep in mind that doors in games tend to be larger than in real life. And that is for regular doors like in houses. Most doors on the maps are extra large.

😭😭😭

who says it was about height :) something is deff bigg on the texas engineer

lies, the texas state capitol in austin is bigger than the us capitol in dc

short privilege

lord i wish i was shorter

Nah average is better than both

You're lucky. As a 5'5 man, I have to climb up a mountain just to get in bed. Good news tho is that a savage size slim jim is about a years worth of food.

⁠@@the_epic_memer553 you can just sleep on the floor, it works fine.

What?!

How is that calculated?

DRG uses the Unreal Engine, which uses metric units. The dwarves are 1.5 metres tall. Or, 150 cm, or 4 ft 11 in.

A bunch of teenagers triangulating contrails and weather patterns solely to screw with Shia Lebouf's flag is still the most simultaneously terrifying and hilarious thing I've ever seen.

But how many of them have over 300 confirmed kills and are trained in gorilla warfare?

burn the convention center down

Hello real Pyro

*Dear God…*

Real pyro wouldn't say this Real pyro would probably say something along the lines of: "WOW ❤🍭🍭❤️‍🔥💛🍬🍫🍬👍💘💚😍🍥😭🍫❤️‍🔥🍭🍫🍬💚🍬🍥❤️‍🔥👍😍💘💚"

❔

@@SquimJim hi!

That's left from older Source engine games where a player is 72 inches/units tall. They didn't change the descriptions for TF2 Hammer 😔

ok, ok. THE PHLOG IS ACTUALLY A MODIFIED UNNATURAL SELECTOR! the lever is weld. and pyro somehow managed to turn a rifle into a flamethrower. while yeah this creates two headcannons that (one of them is in line with tf2 while the other is wack) for me. a. the pyro is insanely good at engineering and b. we now knew how the phlogistinator worked ngl i genuinenly thought that things like the scottish resistance, the flare gun, and maybe even the widowmaker to have good explanation but i guess its the phlog's crit is probably powered by the dongle and that's probably some generator connected to the rifle

@@CalculatorGuidesTf2 mercs get most of their weapons from Mann Co, so it must be Mann Co's engineers building phlogs and other jury rigged stuff they have. Pyro is high as a kite in pyroland, so i don't think they can really build anything. (except Mmmph meter with phlog.)

Why?

little bit taller than scout from what i can guess, so maybe ~6 foot?

a foot is 12 inches, so yes, 1 inch would be 1 hammer unit in this case

Hey, at least they didn't have to do area. That would have involved square roots. (sqrt(sqfeet)*0.3)^2 m^2

I dont trust valve to know weaponary. They designed the scattergun and made the spas12 shoot 2 rounds at once

@@davitdavid7165 Also Soldier shoves 4 rockets in the front of his rocket-launcher at once. And Demoman loads 3 grenade into the Loch-N-Load, which only has 2 barrels. It's pretty clear that these guns are not realistic in any way.

@tbotalpha8133 the rocket launcher could be excused as cartoon logic and the Loch n load capacity is because of balancing after it was added, so I won't hold them against it too much. The scattergun simply defies reason. Trying to understand how it works will give you a stroke

@@davitdavid7165 My headcanon on the Scatter Gun: The Scatter Gun stores 32 shells in that big drum in the back attached to the grip. The 6 in the "magazine" are ones currently chambered, and thus the Scatter Gun has a total of 38 shells when fully loaded. It can chamber only 6 shells at a time, and the lever action ejects these spent shells and chambers new shells, hence why a shell is not ejected when the Scatter Gun is shot, but only when the lever is cycled. It probably alternates between 2 barrels like a Double Barrel Shotgun (like the Force-A-Nature and the Soda Popper) when shot. There are probably 2 chambers and 2 internal tubes that hold 3 shells each. The lever ejects spent shells and lets in a new shell simultaneously in each of these magazines, letting one shell in each chamber as well. Essentially, the Scatter Gun is some ungodly, yet innovative marvel of gunsmithing in semi-automatic shotgun technology Frankenstein'd with lever action and Double Barrel technology that also has an internal magazine that stores tons of extra shells (like the SMLE Mk. 3 had an internal magazine to store up to 10 rounds and required 2 5-round clips t o fully load with, which was not changed in later models like the * and Mk. 4) that also doesn't jam and can be refilled in an instant. The Scatter Gun also probably doesn't have a big stock and short barrels like the Frontier Justice (which has one barrel) so that it fits in his bag. That's probably where he stores his Scatter Gun and Bat at, and his Pistol is probably in his pocket, and the other pocket is used for storing the 3 mags for it. This doesn't make any sense of course, because why would it? Additional Headcanons: The BFB would work similarly but with one 4-round tube and one barrel. The Back Scatter would work similarly but with one 4-round tube and one barrel, but the massive drum mag (reserve ammo) carries so little because of -game balance- potential jamming issues because drum mags are unreliable when fully loaded sometimes. Force-A-Nature and Soda Popper are Double Barrel Shotguns. Shortstop is a Peppergun. edit: I didn't have a stroke figuring it out. I just thought up most of it randomly a while ago while playing the game. Some parts I thought up on the spot.

@randomtexanguy9563 nah. The bolt for the semi auto mechanism has nowhere to go, in first person the muzzle flash only comes from the left barrel, there is no place for the 3rpund tubes (or even the 32 rounds in the drum) and the bolt machismo for the semi auto mechanism combined with the lever action to shell chamfering mechanism would be larger than the gun is currently in its entirety. The only way it can work like this is just handwaving it with Australian because tf2 also takes part in the 60s. When looking at the model and animations it's clear that someone threw vaguely old shotgun design details together into an admittedly iconic package. Adaptation wise I am thinking you can turn it into a simple lever action with a drum magazine. The person who added it in vr focused in the 2 barrels to make it kinda like the db12, so you need to use the lever every 2 shots. I still don't understand why they didn't use normal lever action animations. They even put a loading port on the bottom of the drum.

Yep, Gordon Freeman is 72 inches tall ingame.