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The #1 Sign That Relationship WON'T LAST... | Esther Perel 

Greatness Clips - Lewis Howes
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Thank you for Watching this powerful video with Esther Perel! New videos with the World's GREATEST Entrepreneurs, CEO's, Authors, and Minds will be posted Monday-Friday!
Show notes: lewishowes.com/285
Yes, we are talking about relationships again on The School of Greatness. Partly because I love learning as much as possible about how to create and maintain healthy, amazing relationships (and I need a lot of coaching in my love life). But partly because I heard today’s guest speaker at Summit at Sea in November and I knew I had to have her on the podcast. Esther Perel is a world-renowned relationship therapist, bestselling author, and sought-after speaker who has focused her career on exploring the role of sex and eroticism in making and breaking intimate relationships. She has an incredible world-view of relationships in many different cultures, which has allowed her to see what works and what doesn’t on a bigger level. I asked her a ton of questions in our interview and she had answers. You may already have set ideas about what intimate relationships should look like, but I know you’ll get some new perspective from listening to this interview.
You can follow Esther:
www.estherperel.com/
/ esther.perel
/ estherperel / estherperelofficial
You can Follow Lewis here:
Website: lewishowes.com/ Facebook:
/ lewishowes
Twitter: / lewishowes
Instagram: / lewishowes
TokTok: / lewis
Lewis Howes' New Book - The Mask of Masculinity lewishowes.com/man
Lewis Howes is a NY Times Bestselling author, entrepreneur, and former professional Arena League football player. He hosts The School of Greatness, a talk show distributed as a podcast. Learn and hear the stories of various successful people around the world, become inspired, motivated and educated with the SCHOOL OF GREATNESS. lewishowes.com/book

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21 июл 2020

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Комментарии : 1,7 тыс.   
@KristinaKarina
@KristinaKarina 3 года назад
I said exactly this to my boyfriend before we broke up: "You speak to a random stranger with more respect than you do me..."...
@Abeautyandabeast
@Abeautyandabeast 3 года назад
I remember that 😭
@ikutiap5923
@ikutiap5923 3 года назад
"to me" :)))
@reginaldblakey3058
@reginaldblakey3058 3 года назад
Finally a person who has the same thing as i. Especially if the person’s are unavailable for relationship with her and don’t respect her
@reginaldblakey3058
@reginaldblakey3058 3 года назад
While doing her sexual encounters with other men, she finds me with a woman and she becomes jealous and her boyfriend’s are being served because of vindictive hate. Denied me of sex and then when I get another woman to fulfill my long past build up from not being served by her, she said that I am not alive to her. What a hypocrite and since of entitlement to downgrading me
@FromDeadtoAlivePodcast
@FromDeadtoAlivePodcast 3 года назад
same.. isn’t it interesting.
@charlene2349
@charlene2349 3 года назад
"We are very resourceful at not owning our own shit." Amen!!
@inconnu4961
@inconnu4961 3 года назад
Amen! If only we could harness that energy and creativity for good! LOL
@wellknown1204
@wellknown1204 3 года назад
@@inconnu4961 I am the queen of it if I think of one word to describe myself is Resourceful, and now I just realize thag I am extremely resourceful at not owning my shit, and the control damaged.
@majordavis4688.
@majordavis4688. 3 года назад
we should do that.creativity is everything.
@majordavis4688.
@majordavis4688. 3 года назад
i would like to get married first and then have children.my mom told me before that she and my dad did not do it the right way.they had me first and then got married.
@leahflower9924
@leahflower9924 2 года назад
society kind of teaches individualism greed and mass consumerism so i'm not really that surprised that people protect themselves and their egos at all cost
@bellakim9404
@bellakim9404 3 года назад
I think what makes a relationship thrive is being happy in your own skin. Your signigicant other is not responsible for your life. They are an addition to your life.
@kel5710
@kel5710 3 года назад
Exactly. A little independence and confidence serves us and our partners well. Too many people build their entire identity on being the Mrs. or the Mr. which can be problematic.
@JesusShineinme
@JesusShineinme 3 года назад
Agree a 1000%
@tinyyy840
@tinyyy840 3 года назад
True
@christinehope6317
@christinehope6317 3 года назад
So wise
@basketballfan5763
@basketballfan5763 3 года назад
True but so hard2do!!!
@FreeSpirit47
@FreeSpirit47 3 года назад
Something I noticed in people I know in real life who stay HAPPILY married? Both people make the other persons happiness their first priority.
@meiyokechan5697
@meiyokechan5697 3 года назад
True. Both must be on d same wavelengths
@FreeSpirit47
@FreeSpirit47 3 года назад
@@meiyokechan5697 This is true. This is why I said that I noticed it had to be both people.
@theSaint-1964
@theSaint-1964 3 года назад
Well ..its not breaking news. We have shunned the biblical principles of marriage ..its all there in the " love " chapter of Corinthians. .and it's all about putting your partner before yourself
@FreeSpirit47
@FreeSpirit47 3 года назад
@@theSaint-1964 Correct. This is a very steadfast principle. However, in an age of selfishness, commercialism & counselors who make a mint from counseling couples? People have forgotten or shunned this.
@theSaint-1964
@theSaint-1964 3 года назад
@@FreeSpirit47 my (now ex -wife) gifted me Gary Chapman's " Daily Devotional " many years ago. It didn't work out ..too many " irreconcilable differnces" However I have made a point of keeping the book next to my bedside table for guidance in any subsequent relationships . 😊God Bless.
@LolkeDijkstra
@LolkeDijkstra 3 года назад
"expectations are often a resentment in the making" this lady is so clear minded, so spot-on. Wow.
@fairyalhutton287
@fairyalhutton287 2 года назад
As a 37 year old woman I could not agree more. Spot on!
@Nobodyhome630
@Nobodyhome630 2 года назад
Does this mean Expecting a faithful partner is pointless?
@LolkeDijkstra
@LolkeDijkstra 2 года назад
@@Nobodyhome630 no, expectations can apply to a wide range of things. Communication on expectations is key. You cannot expect your partner to guess what's going on in your head and what your expectations are.
@Mett19
@Mett19 2 года назад
@@fairyalhutton287 Speak up and own it.
@mimilav11
@mimilav11 2 года назад
Wowww
@user-ee5om8wy7u
@user-ee5om8wy7u 3 года назад
Her vocabularly is so beautiful! She knows the art of words.
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
hey honey l'm a living testimony of a great Dr Lee okosun the relationship restorer and a healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Lee okosun will put a smile on your face honey within 24hour
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
Whatzpp him for help
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7
@starwarsbricks3680
@starwarsbricks3680 3 года назад
Absolutely
@jacquelinestephenson323
@jacquelinestephenson323 3 года назад
g, I know. Imagine how she must be in her native language. Awesome.
@robinaboy
@robinaboy 2 года назад
It’s often said that relationships take hard work. I say no, not hard work, it takes effort. If both people are waking up each day thinking of ways to make the other person feel good, then you’re on the right path. Forget hard work - if you don’t even want to make an effort, then the relationship is done.
@malehlohonolo8463
@malehlohonolo8463 2 года назад
Effort is hard work wena😒 everyone wants to sound so deep and profound these days. "Waking up each day and thinking of ways to make the other person feel good" is hard work esp on days when life is hard and you are maneuvering through challenges. You call it effort, they call it hard work, everyone is saying the same thing in different ways
@TravelBug189
@TravelBug189 2 года назад
If you put in the effort then the work won’t be so hard. Sometimes just trying is enough. No one is perfect but as long as you put in the effort then something is there. Hard work is when you don’t put in the effort yet you want a certain result. When you finally realize the result isn’t there then you need to do some damage control in order to get things back on track.
@istiklalcaddesi
@istiklalcaddesi 3 года назад
9 to 5 is killing us. No energy left to show much desire...
@dumfriesspearhead7398
@dumfriesspearhead7398 3 года назад
This is often overlooked. Was it Germaine Greer who said that: "our employers get the best of us?"
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356 3 года назад
Sounds like the magnet is getting weaker. You have to make the effort if you want anything to work.
@diogofarias1822
@diogofarias1822 3 года назад
If you think 9 to 5 is killing you, try to get your own business... is 24/7 mate
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356 3 года назад
2 reasons in my opinion. 1...you do not like the job you have 2....the real desire never existed in the first place. Infatuation and real love are too easily confused. Think about it, get a job you like and it may leave you tired but not drained
@Ihavemadeit999
@Ihavemadeit999 2 года назад
Do stuff u like in ur freetime
@Jenniferbluefire
@Jenniferbluefire 3 года назад
4 things that kill a love relationship: Indifference - not caring, we don't matter at all yet we are creatures of meaning Neglect - taking people for granted, thinking things going to live on its own Violence - abuse, disrespect and dismissal in micro-violence Contempt - this is killer of them all, degradation it's as if you're nothing
@NUBIE1975
@NUBIE1975 3 года назад
Thx
@jerrym3261
@jerrym3261 3 года назад
By far the best answer for what ends relationships, focusing on what you aren't getting. Some call it unmet expectations but, it's a wedge and it's good at dividing people.
@marswmnwhoever1365
@marswmnwhoever1365 3 года назад
Contempt and Neglect are the biggest unfortunately alot if not most of jobs I have had talking to people in way she described does not get them gone...it gets them promoted. Im one who left. Worth is something that should should go across all aspects of life
@treevapeacock846
@treevapeacock846 3 года назад
@@jerrym3261 I think people who do that were always seeing the glass half empty in their lives anyway before they got coupled...the honeymoon ended and they just picked up their old habitual way of seeing the world and their life but its become their partner instead of whatever or whoever it was before.
@SalvadorOlague
@SalvadorOlague 3 года назад
Thanks for this amazing insight ❤️🧘🏽‍♀️
@snowleopard7952
@snowleopard7952 3 года назад
Violence aside, what ends many relationships is boredom and the belief that there is something better outside the relationship. There are also many people who are happiest being single. Sex is overrated. Friendship means so much more.
@sleek1978
@sleek1978 3 года назад
hypergamy
@christinehope6317
@christinehope6317 3 года назад
Have to disagree with sex being overrated. I think it's could be a symptom of some greater problem in the relationship.
@Saved.by.Jesus.
@Saved.by.Jesus. 3 года назад
When you are old, friend will not be there for you. Friendship is not a life time commitment. People will come and go. This is the reason why as a woman you should put in effect to seek for a man. Instead of settling to be single
@6kYe
@6kYe 3 года назад
You make a good point. Many of us get to a point where we believe the grass is greener elsewhere. So true.
@johnhartsock1891
@johnhartsock1891 3 года назад
@Klein Wit Visje And what about the 50 percent divorce rate and all the other percentage of miserable marriages? Who are the idiots there?!?
@djay6651
@djay6651 Год назад
Feeling like you're unwanted is absolutely crushing. This can happen in any kind of relationship, personal, casual or professional.
@GreatnessClips
@GreatnessClips Год назад
Agreed!
@mitchelljack1590
@mitchelljack1590 3 года назад
The weird thing about love is that anyone outside the relationship can clearly see something is wrong, what it is and usually they can figure out how to fix it or when its unfixable... the two people in the relationship are completely blind to all of the above
@stephanieh5478
@stephanieh5478 3 года назад
That was me 6 months ago. Everyone around me noticed how aloof and neglectful my ex was with me.
@inconnu4961
@inconnu4961 3 года назад
There is a blindness when you are too close to something! its true not only in relationships but in business and other aspects of life. If you want to know whats going on, bring in a 3rd party dispassionate observer, and let them see for themselves.
@spdadventurer1754
@spdadventurer1754 3 года назад
@@inconnu4961 true...dispassionate is the word😂
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356 3 года назад
Yes that is true, the person looking through the window can see what is going on in the room better than those in the room quite often. In a relationship that is a bit unsteady, quite often friends become aloof because they don't want to take sides I think. It's a tough call knowing what to do.
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356
@bartholomewchuzzlewit4356 3 года назад
@@NoCreativeNameGirl I said quite often, not always, but you might just be surprised who really did notice. Why you would stay with someone for 11 years when you are unhappy with the relationship amazes me. Often people 'hang in there ' for the sake of the kids which is wrong. The fear of change keeps people tied to the post. I guess the main thing is that you are happy with your situation now. Good luck with the future.
@lonerwiththecamera
@lonerwiththecamera 3 года назад
Indifference is huge. The moment you feel your partner is indifferent to you - get out as soon as possible before it becomes toxic. I learned that lesson the hard way. Hope you young people are paying attention to this. She is spot on with her reasoning.
@emisama7800
@emisama7800 3 года назад
Pff what a nonsense. Why get out or end. Fix damn it! Then when solving isn’t possible yes then end it but you did your part.
@aangitano
@aangitano 3 года назад
@@emisama7800 i agree with this more. Make sure you give your all, fix that way when you leave there is absolutely no regret.
@Alpha-Andromeda
@Alpha-Andromeda 3 года назад
I see what you ladies are saying but really he has a point. Indifference points to a really toxic environment. Indifference means that if you suffer the other person doesn’t care. And that’s really already huge. So sure, if you see your partner showing signs of “possible indifference”, totally work on it, but if they honestly don’t care about you: if they are indifferent to what happens to you: that’s not something YOU can fix. You need to value yourself enough and give space to them and see if they come around to valuing you again on their own. Otherwise. Super toxic and self-defeating.
@purvamandlik4696
@purvamandlik4696 3 года назад
@Douglas Prince, true. I learnt it the hard way too. I saw indifference even before we married. I thought we worked on it. But on his part, he only pretended to work on it. It kept appearing throughout the marriage, and I kept addressing it the best I could until I encountered hard evidences of his cheating and fraud against me. 25 years wasted. I addressed the red flags right from the beginning, but he lied to me. Future-faked his way out of each discussion, learned to hide his indiscretions better and better. I should have demanded improved behaviour instead of accepting empty words.
@inconnu4961
@inconnu4961 3 года назад
@@Alpha-Andromeda Once women lose respect in their man, it is much to hard to rewin that respect from them. You are best getting out of the relationship, figure out what you did wrong and fix it BEFORE starting a new relationship. I spent the better part of my 14 yr marriage trying to rewin her respect for me! We are divorced and she was engaged to another barely after the ink was dry on the divorce papers. im still single. Women arent ALWAYs the victim.
@Carefreeblues
@Carefreeblues 3 года назад
“Fathers be good to your daughters, daughters will love like you do”
@msbbdarling1328
@msbbdarling1328 3 года назад
Always loved that line. My dad is the most loving and supportive dad and husband to my mom. I think I do love similarly. Absolutely devoted and loving and loyal. 😌
@laundrybasket2689
@laundrybasket2689 3 года назад
That’s a great line, however, men should make sure they raise their sons right too since love is not a one way street.
@chiefvia4170
@chiefvia4170 3 года назад
This is not true. I loved my girls the whole time they were growing up. Went the extra mile, read to them every night, kissed them and told them I loved them. They grow up and treated me like shit for years. I finally came to reality and excluded them from my life and now know happiness for first time in years.
@Carefreeblues
@Carefreeblues 3 года назад
@Sergio Diaz If you’re trying to get to know a potential partner I’d say learning about their parents is a good place to start. Fruit never falls far and all that.
@wakeupwithvictoria4816
@wakeupwithvictoria4816 3 года назад
@@Carefreeblues or so far that you cannot even believe it's from the same tree
@milokaz2753
@milokaz2753 3 года назад
This woman is pure gold. So much common sense and wisdom.
@foxxyfoxxina9541
@foxxyfoxxina9541 3 года назад
She certainly is. 💯🌹🌹💯and so beautiful.
@Pushnotificationsalwaysoffbye
@Pushnotificationsalwaysoffbye 3 года назад
We’re not quite worthy, but I’m certainly grateful.
@julnem1981
@julnem1981 3 года назад
@@foxxyfoxxina9541 uuuuuu
@hollyconger9037
@hollyconger9037 3 года назад
this lady sucks. u don't talk down to ur partner because u can....u do it because ur relationship is in trouble. U have some good points but ur not that deep and accurate
@peacefullyme848
@peacefullyme848 3 года назад
And also a great deal of empathy. A lot of people tend to communicate these type of ideas in a forceful or somewhat arrogant way so its nice to see someone that comes from a place of emotional intelligence on top of common sense and wisdom which is rare.
@CM-dh8py
@CM-dh8py 3 года назад
Remembering to say please and thank-you is underrated advice. My grandpa thanked my grandma for every single meal she prepared for him, even just boiled sausages, ever since she dumped a serving of spaghetti for eight people over his head when he declared, “Ugh, spaghetti AGAIN?” back in the early 1970s. She worked all day, too. They had six kids, very little money and he had a big drinking problem back then. They didn’t ever have a perfect marriage but he seriously rethought his attitude towards her efforts that day and we grandchildren grew up seeing that gratitude modelled very consistently.
@rob22cr
@rob22cr 3 года назад
this guy is learning so much 😅 he can't even ask interesting questions
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
hey honey l'm a living testimony of a great Dr Lee okosun the relationship restorer and a healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Lee okosun will put a smile on your face honey within 24hour
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
Whatzpp him for help
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7
@owlex10
@owlex10 2 года назад
@@betteralone318 I think it might just be because she’s a smart lady, lol. All I felt I heard from him (at the root was) “soooo…….but what about sex”
@mightygangstamcoc4699
@mightygangstamcoc4699 2 года назад
Not entirely, he was being respectful while engaging in a conversation whereas she’s very direct and wanting to share so sometimes she cut him off without even realising. I respect her perspective but I believe this will occur naturally when you found someone that really gets along with you unlike most relationship these days where it’s built upon terms and conditions. There’s a saying, if you want success, count from 1 - 10 without skipping. Start from being friend, and so on.
@chicacubanisima
@chicacubanisima 2 года назад
"you are not that important and you are quite replaceable"... Love her
@baileyanderson244
@baileyanderson244 3 года назад
Damn I wish this woman could be my therapist. Im in the beginning stages of divorce and crying all damn day. So insightful.
@nancycorso1961
@nancycorso1961 3 года назад
All the best to you Bailey, I will hope for your peace of mind one day.
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Hello I can recommend you to someone great and powerful who helped me restore back my ex back
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Text on whrsapp
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
+( 2 3 4 8 1 5. 6. 8 9 6. 4. 3. 6 )🌹
@lkw5699
@lkw5699 3 года назад
It will get better. Find a good social support network, friends or family to get you through
@kellesalle9878
@kellesalle9878 3 года назад
Esther was spot on - she dropped so many gems. When she talked about people being replaceable, I felt that. So many people in relationships act like they can never be left. They let themselves go and become extremely cold towards their partners at the same time. It's the quickest way to kill any relationship.
@majordavis4688.
@majordavis4688. 3 года назад
i like your profile picture kelle salle.
@leahflower9924
@leahflower9924 2 года назад
if you talk like this at work you gone! talk like this with the police you gone! lol this woman is practical as hell
@edv15
@edv15 3 года назад
Breakups is not the end of the world Its a lesson and you get stronger
@JuliaSheIsWow
@JuliaSheIsWow 3 года назад
Thank you, I needed to see it.
@Jordandacosta25
@Jordandacosta25 3 года назад
Thank you
@scottconnorzzzzz
@scottconnorzzzzz Год назад
Tell that to the person who did nothing wrong yet put up with affairs, abuse etc, oh and the kids lives that are destroyed through the actions of one parent.
@VivianGray88
@VivianGray88 2 года назад
“Caretaking is a powerful experience in Love and a powerful anti-aphrodisiac” What a wonderful, salient point for everyone but especially women to observe. Sacrificing oneself in the name of caretaking leads to resentful martyrdom and we all know how tiring martyrs are. Be a partner, not a s-mother. Women give in response to receiving. Men give in response to appreciation. Giving to receive never works, for either one. I love this wisdom.
@lexie02jones25
@lexie02jones25 2 года назад
Been there, done that
@SarahDaigle1975
@SarahDaigle1975 3 года назад
"Many times a criticism buries a wish..."
@jackpetersen7545
@jackpetersen7545 2 года назад
Sarah Daigle,You are beautiful 🌷🌹,Hope you are with a good man!
@kellesalle9878
@kellesalle9878 3 года назад
Also, when Esther talked about the four things that kill a relationship, she was talking about my last relationship, especially contempt. Once you start to feel repulsed by your partner, there really is no going back.
@beatsg
@beatsg 3 года назад
Oh yeah, it's my ex all over. And every time I tried to leave, he wouldn't let me. I've learnt from that and those experiences.
@rubychurch3466
@rubychurch3466 2 года назад
.
@moisesfrias1117
@moisesfrias1117 2 года назад
@@rubychurch3466 WHY are you repulse of your husband?
@marshamcdonald1475
@marshamcdonald1475 2 года назад
Add how they are so greedy Concerning money. They Take it all. All of it. You are lucky if you have a dime. Talk about their greed! Financial Abuse.!!!
@candykelly2705
@candykelly2705 3 года назад
This woman is so right on. I wish I had her smarts. I wish I had access to this 45 years ago. Forget watching the videos that tell you how to : "rock his world in bed," or "how to attract a man." Those are just temporary fixes. Unless you know how to behave in a healthy relationship, how to communicate in a healthy manner, etc/ which is what this woman speaks about, you will be doomed.
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Hello to whom it may concern someone great and powerful who helped me get my ex back recently
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Text on whrsapp
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
+( 2 3 4 8 1 5. 6. 8 9 6. 4. 3. 6 )❤️
@eithnekennedy2571
@eithnekennedy2571 3 года назад
She's amazing. He seems out of his depth. Like he was surprised by the whole thing.
@arnavrawat9864
@arnavrawat9864 3 года назад
She's pinning down human nature. This is territory of people like jung.
@diannedavis5430
@diannedavis5430 3 года назад
Shes talking about a subject he finds interesting but out of his depth. He wants to know what she has to say.
@malki2768
@malki2768 3 года назад
Most men aren’t as emotional intelligent as they think they are.
@arnavrawat9864
@arnavrawat9864 3 года назад
@@malki2768 how did you come to notice that
@emartinezr
@emartinezr 3 года назад
Of course. The lady is a world-renowned expert in her field. The guy is just a dude. There's nothing wrong in somebody knowing FAR more than you on a specific topic.
@calistawatts8992
@calistawatts8992 Год назад
hope that won't have to do with my boyfriend, bc i believe he's the one for me. but sometimes it's hard w him. we are still able to enhance our sex experience and even boost it by 100% and we are maximally happy . just don't know what's in the natural spanish fly but it really works
@lutherstump6315
@lutherstump6315 Год назад
thx for inspiration really. my girl wanted to breake up with me... but when i bought and tried natural spanish fly Pro and she was absolutely stunned. he even loves me more
@michaelmelamed9103
@michaelmelamed9103 3 года назад
When both people are immature and can’t negotiate with each other they will not stay together, because each of them needs a parental figure. When one is mature and the other is not...now, that’s is another relational dance altogether.
@mammadingo9165
@mammadingo9165 2 года назад
I was very immature and needed to be parented I wanted to be taught but my partner was highly independent and well it has not gone well I tryed to lean on him for everything I exausted him, I didn't know what I was doing was childish I was emotional and feared abandonment . Over a decade two kids and he hates me so deeply wishes we never met but won't outright end things he wants me to .
@emartin8907
@emartin8907 3 года назад
'expectation is resentment in the making' wow! got so much out of this thank you!
@annieconway8998
@annieconway8998 3 года назад
When you stop caring it is the saddest thing. The resentment that comes from that is simply cruel
@rebeccajones8628
@rebeccajones8628 3 года назад
I could listen to her for hours.
@donnadarantinao1355
@donnadarantinao1355 2 года назад
Ikr.
@pattystephens5977
@pattystephens5977 Год назад
A relationship is like a garden. If you don’t tend to it, everything dies. You have to nurture a garden, water it, care for it. That way you are able to get the fruits of your labor. Happiness starts from within one’s self. If you can’t love yourself, how can you love your partner.
@GreatnessClips
@GreatnessClips Год назад
🙌
@user-jr9of9qh9t
@user-jr9of9qh9t 6 месяцев назад
What if the garden doesn’t want to be nurtured or watered the garden just wants to just be, it’s not interested in fertilizer or watered anymore. The garden says it just doesn’t need any more water like you do and I’m supposed to be happy with that.
@belovedchild9812
@belovedchild9812 3 года назад
I walked away from a 10 year marriage because of contempt, aggression, neglect and microaggressions. I finally got sick of it and left. I am much happier now.
@emp9413
@emp9413 3 года назад
I left the same last night! :D Still can't believe it. Sat around waiting for change for over a year. Better late than never! Best of luck to you :)
@likearollingstone007
@likearollingstone007 3 года назад
Same here, I couldn’t take it anymore from that woman.
@belovedchild9812
@belovedchild9812 3 года назад
Eva P thank you. I’m glad you got out sooner. That kind of relationship is damaging. Best of luck to you!
@orietbardot1534
@orietbardot1534 3 года назад
Sounds like mental abuse to me.
@user-ro5iu6br4f
@user-ro5iu6br4f 3 года назад
Poor innocent woman... Have you ordered your anti-depressants yet? If not, start stocking. You are gonna need tons. Excellent call to break up with your ex-husband.
@ivettea5368
@ivettea5368 3 года назад
1Indifference- u don’t matter 2. Neglect - take each other for granted. Complacency 3.Violence - w words 4. Contempt- We must relearn the lessons of our childhood.
@christianpulisic7784
@christianpulisic7784 3 года назад
Ivette A,I admire your lovely smile!😊😊😊
@neogbfe3587
@neogbfe3587 3 года назад
Ive always learned, an individual will say anything in the beginning. They will eventually change there response in the future. Nothing is permanent and everyone is replaceable. I say thank you in the end, it allows me to appreciate the time we had and I can move on with my life.
@lifeisgood070
@lifeisgood070 3 года назад
within 90 days everyone shows their true colors even malignant narcissists and sociopaths. It hasn't failed me yet. But it has made me sad realizing some of what I thought were the most beautiful relationships were actually people that did not care. That's when I had to go to therapy and fix my own demons. Anyways 90 days, you'll see the red flags. Sociopaths and narcs actually get off on showing them. It's a way to gauge the self-esteem of the individual and see how fast you'll be able to manipulate and abuse them. So it'll come out. Cheers.
@Smokillo
@Smokillo 3 года назад
@@lifeisgood070 and how do they show it ?
@lifeisgood070
@lifeisgood070 3 года назад
@@Smokillo bunch of ways. realistically u'd have to call me to explain it all. Generally by interrupting you during a talk of emotional value to you. What are you dreams? My dreams are... (interruption) oh look I got a disney princess board game from my mom. Woah!
@kurts3779
@kurts3779 3 года назад
Would love to see her and Jordan Peterson have a conversation.
@cmwenda92
@cmwenda92 3 года назад
Add Alaine De Botton to that conversation as well just to round it out.
@beatsg
@beatsg 3 года назад
And let's add Gabor Maté to the mix
@spdadventurer1754
@spdadventurer1754 3 года назад
JP manages to win with his over logical and analytical statistics, which hold very less practical or say useful ideas
@yabe1496
@yabe1496 3 года назад
Whatever, just looks the faces of both, who looks happy or bitter?, where do they have deeper wrinkles? You will find there lot of answers no matter what they say. There are also studies that shows that faces you make create moods. One of them is pure logic but really most of the argument apply to a western middle class society, a very local logic, not universal.
@MightyBaja
@MightyBaja 3 года назад
@@spdadventurer1754 no incorrect evaluation... His views highly practical ..and when they win they win from a point facts
@sarahruns262
@sarahruns262 3 года назад
Her breakdown of the history of sex and how much it's changed in the last 60 years is mind-blowing! Thank you Esther!
@gabrielamartinyuk9894
@gabrielamartinyuk9894 3 года назад
It’s not a lot of work if when you’re SINGLE you have an adventurous and Joyful spirit. You bring that INTO your relationship. It’s not work for me at all to be curious , mysterious and adventurous. I live this way daily in my personal life! I feel alive and full of joy because I enjoy life and I also Love life and feeling excited everyday about anything I’m doing! Yes! Passionate would describe me.
@silb8139
@silb8139 2 года назад
Let me guess, you are young, not married and with no kids. I had that adventurous and joyful spirit once, but after you are weighed down with responsibility and middle age creeps up on you, it becomes a distant memory. Also your positive energy is a magnet for narcissistic . Be careful to not let bad energy in your life, thinking your positivity will rub off on them. They will drain the life out of you. Take care and don't let anyone dim your light
@dilofena8560
@dilofena8560 2 года назад
Comment here in 15 years if not still single. We are all passionate, dear! And this is not dating page. We are all here passionate. So passionate that not only thongs and bras fly around.. also plates and glasses! Relationships are effort and quite a lot of water under the bridge. Meet a man, get married and we’ll talk again
@aurielove9177
@aurielove9177 2 года назад
So true.. neglect in relationships is what I’ve experienced. People get comfortable and don’t try anymore. I just want someone to sees my efforts and tries their best to match them. I don’t want or need anything but your love that’s it. When you love someone you listen to them, you don’t judge them, you are honest with them, you build trust with them, and you care and nurture their interests and dreams. It’s not about money it’s about connection and building something with someone that is worth while it takes time and effort on both parts but I’m more then willing to put in the time and effort. I always have been.
@Autumn_Forest_
@Autumn_Forest_ 2 года назад
Amen! I have experienced the same thing, and then I saw Dr. Armani’s vids here on RU-vid about the types of narcissists and realized that I was attracting neglectful narcissists. Never again! I’ve educated myself and now have my anti-narcissist firewall installed.
@faithm9284
@faithm9284 2 года назад
@@Autumn_Forest_ That would be God's Healthy Boundaries that present self love = your self-respect others around you can see in you. Codependency is taught, and it develops a high level of Emotional Intelligence. Discovering it is your Super Power is epic! Strong traits of compassion, nurturing, loving, kind, compliance, consideration, Soo thoughtful, and the wonderful list goes on, however, the honing we received in childhood is for others not ourselves. Codependency has been purposely honed to eliminate our sense of self, and our own self needs and replaced by another's selfish needs. There is no internal anchor. God's Healthy Boundaries internally felt and known, are His way of instilling the wisdom of His love and worth we possess by His grace. When we have discovered our worth in God's eyes, and how valuable we truly are, we then know when to immediately draw the boundary line. That quickening in our spirit that says, 'Hey! Wait a minute!' We need to speak it! Find what emotional boundary was crossed, feel it, and find our voice! God's Healthy Boundaries for us, empower us to no longer be concerned about rejection when we tell that other person 'this' is how we feel, this is 'not ok with me'. We are finding our worth when we no longer fear losing a friend or lover for stating our feelings because we value ourselves and our own right to stand up for ourselves regardless of the possible rejection. The first time I told someone how I truly felt was frightening. I said it with conviction, and emotionally I expected the walls to crumble and the roof to cave in! I envisioned them running out of the door screaming! It didn't happen, in fact it was the opposite effect. Shocking I know! People really need to know where we stand to trust us, and we them. We are worthy and our feelings are valuable. Of course a narcissist would react differently, another clue to run! If someone doesn't see your 'voice', opinions, the space you take up, the air you breath as valuable, leave their presence immediately, it won't get better. Being a door mat, or someone's pet, is not love! Don't stick around trying to figure out what makes them tick, or who they 'truly' are; they have already shown you. Believe what they say to be true for them. It's not your job to fix them. Run out of the nearest exit! Only surround yourself with those who value you. 'No' is a complete sentence. To put yourself first is difficult when you have been honed to make everyone else's needs a priority, but so worth it, and the emotional freedom is priceless! Narcissism. Yes we attract them, and a great short cut to eliminate a herd of them is if they have ANY kind of addiction! Including hoarding, shopping, collecting, working, money, cars, you get the idea. Along with drugs, alcohol, food, check where they spend their time, hobbies, etc. Lawyers, doctors, judge, positions of power and control because you know they are all about control! Whether it's playing the victim like a drug addict (covert) or, a lawyer, or doctor playing god (overt). If you catch them lying (mine told me they didn't lie! lol It was a way of life for them). Passive Aggressive is a definite sign of deep anger, and resentment. Passive/Aggressive behavior makes a person dangerous. Gaslighting by telling you, you remembered something incorrectly. That your reality isn't reality, can make you crazy when you begin to doubt yourself, and what you 'knew' to be true gets fuzzy. Get out! The Overt are easier to spot but the Covet are the most dangerous, I divorced one. Phew! Maybe you know it all already or maybe I've shared a gem to help you on your journey to avoid the narcissistic dragons. They only make you a pet as long as you are stroking their fragile ego, or they are out to destroy you in the most diabolical way, like my ex. I hope this blesses you somehow to shed that shell completely, Butterfly! It may sound strange but years ago, when I was fed up, I went to my bathroom mirror and just started to yell 'No' at the top of my lungs to see and hear myself say it. It really wasn't in my vocabulary then. Now I understand, not having healthy boundaries builds my own resentment over time, so I avoid it by being brutally honest to those in my life. Yes spoken with 'care'. We may not be aware, our resentment actually is our fault. In our resentment we may blame another for not being respectful to us when we haven't even required respect by setting healthy boundaries for our own protection! 'No' is now my favourite word, so empowering. giggle Developing Self Protective Healthy Boundaries is like shedding a shell of our false self. A codependent is seldom able to articulate what they truly want or need, but they can tell you about everyone else's needs, or wants. It takes work to discover who you truly are by God's design. It's much easier to ask, 'God please make me the person You created me to be', and let Him do the heavy lifting for you. We may ask for traits, but will never get the balance or all the traits we were meant to develop, and learn in childhood. God is the 'safe fast track', because 'times awasten'! Love to you God's Precious Beloved, and God bless your journey to the incredible human being you were created to be by God's own Hand! God's fingerprints are all over you. By God's choice, you were His really good idea. 💌
@jbri1
@jbri1 2 года назад
Well said
@meghanegger2376
@meghanegger2376 Год назад
@@faithm9284 thank u for taking the time to put all this out... very helpful, spot on. God will grace u w a good one for u ...i believe n pray!
@NZcoco
@NZcoco 3 года назад
First saw her on a ted talk, what she is saying is ofc amazing but its how she is so clear and concise in everything she says. Shes perfected the art of communicating.
@biancaspindler7699
@biancaspindler7699 3 года назад
We are very resourceful in not owning our shit LOVE HER
@StephanieWindsor
@StephanieWindsor 3 года назад
That feeling is more painful than loneliness ever could be. The breach of trust is catastrophic.
@johntrench
@johntrench 3 года назад
Infidelity is a breach of trust, and catastrophic. Denying one's partner the fulfillment of their sexual needs--not just once in awhile, but routinely, imposing a sexless existence upon them while expecting they look nowhere else for sex--is equally a breach of trust, equally catastrophic, and equally to be condemned. This applies, in fact, to all the critical intimacy needs we reserve to committed relationships. Anyone who routinely ignores their partner's most critical needs, and experiences their partner seeking fulfillment of those needs outside of the relationship, and then feels violated by their partner, is a hypocrite. They should look to themselves first, when assigning blame. Routine denial of their partner's needs was the transgression. When their partner at last gives up and gets those needs met elsewhere, they got what they deserved. That isn't romantic or "politically correct", but it is nonetheless true.
@sarasalhab3832
@sarasalhab3832 3 года назад
@@johntrench 💯
@dinasimone9815
@dinasimone9815 3 года назад
@@johntrench infidelity is not necessarily the result of a sexless marriage. Sometimes people breach the trust because they enjoy the attention of other women (or men), because it makes them feel powerful, because they feel contempt for their partners and so on. If it is a lack of intimacy that makes you want to meet someone else, why not adress this precise issue? Either work on it or explain that you want to find someone new. It might be hard but honesty is less scarring than cheating. Behaving in a responsible manner means that you are beeing respectful towards yourself and your needs. And your partner and his needs. The Self-esteem does not have to be protected by finding someone you can place the blame on, because you have already acted in an ethical consistent manner.
@dinasimone9815
@dinasimone9815 3 года назад
@@johntrench i also cannot emphasize this enough: men have no right to the body of a woman and sex. Women are people and not sex toys. Please talk and work it out with them if this is an issue. Usually women do not want sex if their emotional needs are not met. Do therapy if needed. And if this does not work, leave honestly and look for somebody new. But dont assume you have a right to cheat.
@johntrench
@johntrench 3 года назад
@@dinasimone9815 no, you are 100% wrong. I cannot emphasize THIS enough: when you enter into an intimate, long term relationship, sex is an integral part of the deal. It is NOT optional. It is NOT only if you happen to feel like it. Men do in fact have every right to expect and receive fulfillment of our sexual needs by our mate. And the data that exists shows that women are overwhelmingly the ones who cut off sex, no matter what their man is doing regarding meeting their emotional needs. That denial begins as early as the first year of marriage, and peaks between year seven and year ten. Your assertion that men have no right to the bodies of their mates and to sex is an absurd claim. Would you be willing to accept that women have no right to the savings, assets, incomes, and homes generated by, and accumulated by, their mates? That women who leave their men do not get to take half their men’s assets if they leave them/divorce them, and must walk out with only what they brought in with them at the start, and with only what they have themselves earned by their own work? I am fairly certain you wouldn’t. Denying your mate sex is every bit as much an act of infidelity as seeking sex outside the relationship. When you enter into an intimate exclusive relationship with a man, requiring sexual exclusivity from that man, you are contractually obligating yourself to refrain from denying sexual access to that man. Your own argument is applicable against you. Indeed, it is far more appropriate against you, or any woman (or man) callously denying their mate sex. The mate should never, ever be put in that position. If you decide you do not want to have sex with your mate, leave honestly and find somebody new. Don’t assume that you have the right to unilaterally impose major and unwanted changes to the terms of your intimate relationship on your mate. You do not. The responsibility is yours, not your mate’s. Either you leave, or you take care of your mate’s legitimate needs. I also cannot emphasize strongly enough that sex, your attractiveness, a pleasing and agreeable personality, and providing domestic calm and tranquility, are the ONLY things women bring to the table. You have absolutely nothing else of value to men. That is not an opinion. That is a fact based in human biology. Men are not attracted by your educational achievements, your careers, or your incomes. The four things I list at the start of this paragraph constitute the sum total of your value to us. That is not shallow, it is not arrogant, and it is not at all inaccurate. It is the product of human biology, human evolution, and reflects male and female roles that are the product of that evolution. We are morally equal, but beyond that, no. Beyond that, you have to specify what you are talking about, to determine the superiority-or, perhaps more accurately, suitability and advantage-of female compared to male. Is it possible that we may evolve out of these roles? Yes, of course. In anywhere from, say, fifty or a hundred millennia to millions of years. They will not, however, change in our lifetimes, or the lifetimes of foreseeable generations. If you deny your man sex, you have violated the terms implicit to the relationship contract, and in so doing, you have abdicated any claim to sexual exclusivity. Sexual exclusivity is pledged in return for sexual access. Deny access, and you have broken the contract, and your mate is not bound to that clause any longer. And let’s make no mistake here, intimate relationships, whether cohabitation or marriage, are contracts. When-not if-your man gets sex from another, you will have received the treatment you deserve. As for explaining to you first that we want to find someone else because of that behavior on your part-you do not deserve that courtesy and consideration. Denying your mate sex is an emotionally abusive, disrespectful, arrogant, and contemptuous act, every bit as scarring as you imply being “cheated on” is. You deserve no better than to be treated to disrespect, arrogance, and contempt in return, and to suffer the same level of emotional pain. The fact that some people, both male and female, cheat without reason, is a trivial truth. They are a fraction of cases of infidelity. Men and women seek sex outside the marriage at nearly the same rate, and the overwhelming majority of men who seek sex from a partner outside their primary relationship, do so because they are routinely denied sex by their partner. It is in all men’s best interest to deny you any legal basis for claiming any right to any part of men’s incomes and assets, so that they can walk away from you without permitting you to refuse their legitimate needs AND get “cash and prizes” for doing so. Access to the satisfaction of your needs, including access to resources such as accumulated wealth, income, and other assets, should always remain contingent upon your satisfaction of the needs of the man. You and all other women insist upon satisfaction of your needs. We now insist upon satisfaction of ours. More and more, men are acting to ensure that you will no longer be rewarded for bad behavior in regards to the relationship contract, and you will no longer be allowed to profit at our expense when you break that contract. We don’t care that you don’t like it.
@misschevy6520
@misschevy6520 3 года назад
She makes me realise how just not ready I am for a relationship .all this work 😨
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
hey honey l'm a living testimony of a great Dr Lee okosun the relationship restorer and a healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Lee okosun will put a smile on your face honey within 24hour
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
Whatzpp him for help
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7
@jonnyOysters
@jonnyOysters 3 года назад
Lol same 😂... I was thinking maybe I should try getting into a relationship again.... But after hearing this, nah I'm good. Lol
@aaronsaigon
@aaronsaigon 3 года назад
I think there’s a point where you open up your heart to whatever may come.. it came when i became so comfortable with myself and became comfortable with myself in isolation... if i didn’t have that level of comfort with myself then i would project my insecurities onto my partner
@vilkers2211
@vilkers2211 9 месяцев назад
I love her. I didn't have any role model from my parents. They taught me what not to do in a relationship. Unfortunately I've had to learn from my own mistakes. I've been craving for a stable and loving romantic relationship. I've healed so many wounds and I'm getting better and better with my choices but it also means my relationships fall apart when I heal because what attracted us at the first place isn't there anymore. It's kind of depressing to start over again and I'm not the one who leaves. I'm loyal af unless betrayed but I don't give up. Thank you so much Esther
@freefloqueen3352
@freefloqueen3352 3 года назад
@11:16 🎯 I think the problem with “relationships” is that people forget that they are supposed to be friendships first. I also agree with her that relationships are carbon copies of what we experienced as children with respect our parents relationships. Healing emotional trauma is so important before engaging in a Relationship especially if children are going to be involved.
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Hello to whom it may concern I can recommend you to someone great and powerful who helped me get my ex back
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Text on whrsapp
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
+( 2 3 4 8 1 5. 6. 8 9 6. 4. 3. 6 )🌹🌹🌹
@JingKai
@JingKai Год назад
So true!
@anewbeinging6115
@anewbeinging6115 10 месяцев назад
Please tell me how to heal
@roots4140
@roots4140 3 года назад
The one thing to do for your relationship every day - Listen to Esther Perel
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Hello dr tuda is able to he’lp you just as he did mine too he can also render you help just as he is mine too
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
Whrsapp him
@goddyhelen6049
@goddyhelen6049 3 года назад
+( 2 3 4 8 1 5. 6. 8 9 6. 4. 3. 6 )
@albertodeulofeu5277
@albertodeulofeu5277 3 года назад
She’s right. The sad part is once a break up snaps u back into reality, usually initiated by the woman, it’s too late to turn the “neglect” around. By that point she has so much “contempt” and resentment built up, it’s hard to reverse it. Even if the neglect took place because you were trying to set up a good life for your future TOGETHER. It’s hard. Relationships don’t work anymore.
@gracechan3039
@gracechan3039 3 года назад
When you neglect because you wanted to build a nice future together, you’re saying, my dream of a future is more important than you right now. My folks neglected me and my brothers as children because they were consumed with the family business. Supposedly one day to pass it down to us. At the age of 18 I wanted nothing more than to burn that building to the ground. As an adult the passing down never happened. They’re selling the building and keeping the money. Neglect is real. Dreams are not.
@BlueBird742
@BlueBird742 3 года назад
Daproest, it’s hard on all fronts. What you’re saying makes sense, but I think if there’s good communication, your partner may not feel neglected if you’re checking in with them and still connecting emotionally. There are women who understand what it means to grind in probably the way you were doing, but there still needs to be designated time for the relationship where each partner feels chosen by the other and a priority. This is what generally gives women a sense of security, which allows their heart to stay open.
@albertodeulofeu5277
@albertodeulofeu5277 3 года назад
Benita Ann i agree. Communication works both ways though. When you are passive aggressive, or just start arguments about nothing because you’re feeling neglected, all that does is create more tension and stress, which will cause the man to create more distance.
@rubyrootless7324
@rubyrootless7324 3 года назад
I'm sorry that this happend. Must have been hard - you tried your best but she would have liked another best. She should have said that and you should have listened more, probably. Many things go unspoken. Hope ur okay.
@inconnu4961
@inconnu4961 3 года назад
@@albertodeulofeu5277 Women are NOT direct communicators, men are. In order for women to be safe in their social circles, they have had to adapt to 'indirect' communication styles. This works well amongst women, but men and women have opposing communication styles, with little interest in becoming fluent in the other, thereby making communication the #1 suggestion of what to improve! LOL
@redirectyourself
@redirectyourself 3 года назад
It has been said that the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference
@orietbardot1534
@orietbardot1534 3 года назад
That is so, because hate is an emotion closely related to love. Hating or loving makes you think regularly of him, whereas indifference is. You don’t even think about him. That is also a way to tell if you are over him. If you hardly ever think about him means you have moved on.
@itsamess3216
@itsamess3216 3 года назад
Absolutely True, I thought this myself many, many years ago...
@lioydwilliams1850
@lioydwilliams1850 3 года назад
RedirectYourself,hope you are with a better man cause you are too precious!
@martasw8885
@martasw8885 3 года назад
Also it has been said the opposite of love is fear...;)
@christinehope6317
@christinehope6317 3 года назад
I grew up as the middle child and third wheel and I hate to be ignored so bad I would rather someone slap me in my face than ignore me
@astari24
@astari24 2 года назад
I wish the whole world would view this clip. So many people are beyond clueless about how to maintain a good relationship or even start one for that matter.
@lalitakambhampati5781
@lalitakambhampati5781 2 года назад
The quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships%!!!!!!!!! She’s awesome
@taylorschahn5596
@taylorschahn5596 3 года назад
She is so full of love and wisdom. She has the data and the emotion to back it.
@George-vd5tz
@George-vd5tz 2 года назад
Absolutely Taylor.. Would love to get to know u. Please text back if you don't think it weird
@elisabethanderson2439
@elisabethanderson2439 3 года назад
Of all the people who have considered and thought about relationships..Esther Perel is truly the most inspirational person I have ever heard .. she is a world class relationship guru.
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
hey honey l'm a living testimony of a great Dr Lee okosun the relationship restorer and a healer who fixed back my broken relationship after being separated for months. He can also help you too no matter how worst the case maybe Dr Lee okosun will put a smile on your face honey within 24hour
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
Whatzpp him for help
@marcusjennifer248
@marcusjennifer248 3 года назад
+ 2 3 4 9 0 7 1 2 2 8 0 9 7
@christianpulisic7784
@christianpulisic7784 3 года назад
Elisabeth Anderson,You look stunning 🌹🌷🌷 dear, Hope you are with a good man!!
@argh6666
@argh6666 2 года назад
I think that I did all the mistakes she mentioned and my girlfriend kept complaining about me not making an effort. I was what does she mean, I am nice and loving and stable. I even told her to come and live with me. No wonder I am single now 😭
@jonnyOysters
@jonnyOysters 3 года назад
I've been thinking I'd like to get in a relationship again.... Then I read the comments 😂😂😂. You know what I'm good.
@cascadeserenity3484
@cascadeserenity3484 3 года назад
Lol
@elizabethakpan979
@elizabethakpan979 3 года назад
😂😂😂
@abbeydawes5786
@abbeydawes5786 2 года назад
😆
@user-vf7lm2js2t
@user-vf7lm2js2t 2 года назад
She's so right. My wife did those things for several months, then she asked for a divorce.
@Stephanie-ku8wl
@Stephanie-ku8wl 3 года назад
Relationship Killers: Indifference--not caring Neglect--taking people for granted Violence--abuse, disrespect Contempt--as if you are nothing
@anwarallie
@anwarallie 2 года назад
Yes... Neglect is a killer. It caused me to walk out of my marriage as well as break off an engagement. Seems I attract those kind of people.
@heathbecker420
@heathbecker420 3 года назад
I literally applauded to the reminder to use please and thank you. My ex wife never said thank you for a damn thing ever in the relationship. I should have seen that as a red flag much earlier but I just thought it was because she was the baby of the family separated by many years from her older siblings and spoiled.
@artisticagi
@artisticagi 3 года назад
Did you ever bring it up with her? What did she say
@abutterfly7975
@abutterfly7975 3 года назад
I always say ty for everything. He doesn’t. 😐
@dilofena8560
@dilofena8560 2 года назад
You break up cause she didn’t say thank you? This is not love kill. This is something to work on. Guess you didn’t really love her or she didn’t love you. Cause only lack of gratitude is not a love kill. There must have been much more to this. Be honest and acknowledge that it was NOT only the thankyous that sank your marriage. I am married to the baby of the family and he was not used to say thank you, but he learned with time. If you give them time and they love you they grow up eventually.
@garimabaranwal8725
@garimabaranwal8725 2 года назад
@@dilofena8560 I don't know. It's important to say thank you slash it. It's important to show gratitude for the other person's actions. If he is being honest. Thank him for his honesty. He will continue to be honest.
@leahflower9924
@leahflower9924 2 года назад
@@dilofena8560 yes not saying thank you is more like a symptom of the actual bigger problem, it can't be THE problem
@enahsheen2597
@enahsheen2597 3 года назад
She really knows what she is talking about
@tessacanzona610
@tessacanzona610 3 года назад
Great questions and super helpful answers, thank you!
@estherchang4174
@estherchang4174 3 года назад
It is a whole life challenge For being an adored man before his only woman. I am grateful for you guys coaching me.
@sogud8173
@sogud8173 3 года назад
Excellent advice, thank you for sharing!
@surferles589
@surferles589 3 года назад
Thank you Esther. Very insightful. Practical, useful tools for me to work on.
@jenpia7216
@jenpia7216 3 года назад
Omg. I love you Esther Perel. God Bless.
@gretajanko1406
@gretajanko1406 3 года назад
She Is pure wisdome!
@anuradhamasand6066
@anuradhamasand6066 3 года назад
Soo Beautiful...! Amazing analysis, spot on suggestions.
@skysurferrain430
@skysurferrain430 3 года назад
This captured my full attention from star to finish!
@user-nr1zq3tq6l
@user-nr1zq3tq6l 2 года назад
Right spot on and this is how I feel lately about my bff that she always shares whatsoever with me, but somehow I feel overwhelmed, I snap out by after her bad joke.. i appreciated her friendship and caring, but ..to give each other a lot of individual space, not everything needs to be shared people have different passions and interests and value!!!!
@HALLBARBARA11
@HALLBARBARA11 3 года назад
A wonderful coach/psychologist.
@Michelle-qq4sd
@Michelle-qq4sd 3 года назад
I turn myself off when - doing emails, over working...I turn myself on when - playing music, sports.... Take responsibility for own desire.
@cbory4522
@cbory4522 Год назад
She gives a lot of ideas and explained very well what I didn't like in relationships
@susan9188
@susan9188 3 года назад
She is brilliant and so right.
@Chrissiana3193
@Chrissiana3193 3 года назад
I feel like this woman is reading my mind. This is a quality interview. Well done!
@cynthiasaracino7114
@cynthiasaracino7114 3 года назад
Lewis this is so so wonderful. What an amazing podcast. She's spot on.
@clemencerossi8994
@clemencerossi8994 2 года назад
It’s a pleasure to listen to her, soothing voice !
@anne4002
@anne4002 3 года назад
This video right here changed my life completely! Thank you beautiful human!😍😍😍☺️☺️☺️
@Chiara-xk3gv
@Chiara-xk3gv 3 года назад
Wow. Just wow. She's so smart
@susanewalkerconta
@susanewalkerconta 3 года назад
Esther Perel, you are the best! Such splendid observations!
@shx3sh
@shx3sh 2 года назад
Wow, this woman puts thoughts into words soo accurately, I feel she's talking to me😲👏🏻
@timdunk7278
@timdunk7278 2 года назад
"to check in - to be together"... Love it. Thanks for sharring.
@nellsmith9721
@nellsmith9721 3 года назад
This woman is 100%correct this happens to me
@SalvadorOlague
@SalvadorOlague 3 года назад
Confidence and purpose is what you need ❤️
@SatrinaToreador
@SatrinaToreador 2 года назад
Wow, everything she says is just 🤯 mind blowing! Brilliant! Somehow stumbled upon this!
@MrRide2k
@MrRide2k 2 года назад
Good stuff, Esther is so helpful to so many people. Bravo!
@mirjam8788
@mirjam8788 3 года назад
Brilliant Woman!
@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933
@donnaallgaier-lamberti3933 3 года назад
The core for my first marriage breakdown was 1) NEVER finding a resolution to our problems no matter its size 2) Non-willingness to compromise. 3) Selfishness 4) Indifference 5) Disconnect. to name but a few...
@Kabaselefh
@Kabaselefh 3 года назад
You probably dealt with a narcissist
@likearollingstone007
@likearollingstone007 3 года назад
In other words, there was no quality sex lol
@PositiveMommaLife
@PositiveMommaLife 3 года назад
Sounds like you were with an adult toddler aka borderline
@jldp24
@jldp24 3 года назад
So many points...just say indifference.
@nikkisinghns
@nikkisinghns 3 года назад
Brilliantly spoken!
@dlm2133
@dlm2133 3 года назад
This video really hits hard. Thank you so much!!
@SaimaKhan-xx7pg
@SaimaKhan-xx7pg 3 года назад
Awesome talk, she knows how to use words. xxx
@albertodeulofeu5277
@albertodeulofeu5277 3 года назад
She’s right. Me and the love of my life made all of these mistakes. A lot of it was on me. Business definitely get in the way.
@lianneernsting3860
@lianneernsting3860 3 года назад
Wonderful talk. Lots to take away from. I see I can do better, not easy in this time of adversity. But I’ll approach it as an adventure.... fingers crossed! Thank you 🙏
@joanreese3887
@joanreese3887 3 года назад
Wonderfully articulate love this video
@zahrashah5165
@zahrashah5165 3 года назад
Such an excellent interview. She speaks so simply and so much sense
@mariabeckwith3336
@mariabeckwith3336 3 года назад
Amazing interview...I learned more information in the first minutes than most hour long interviews
@Krystalonthemove
@Krystalonthemove 3 года назад
This is really good and so true!!
@lindavillani9043
@lindavillani9043 3 года назад
Really enjoy this therapist. Wise.
@vyvyienewalser6798
@vyvyienewalser6798 3 года назад
This lady is so accurate and on point.She hits the points always.
@swatigulia2496
@swatigulia2496 2 года назад
Splendid podcast! Thank you for phenomenal insights Esther 👍
@labelsandlife
@labelsandlife 3 года назад
So sis decided to preach today! 👏🏽👏🏽
@ThePhoenixJewels
@ThePhoenixJewels 3 года назад
I love the way the guest speaks, great delivery. Great topic also. Would love you to check out Straight Talk with The Phoenix Jewels. Appreciate it
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