Being able to jump to the end of a conversation that just started when I'm in a hurry (or I don't feel like humoring that person in that moment) just from casually absorbing their manner of approach is a useful one, sometimes. 🤔 You know, just cut right through whatever pretext or pretense they crafted to whatever it is they really wanted to get to, saving everyone time but leaving them feeling a little bit "read."😂
@@BlakeLaoshiThat has been something that has derailed lots of social connections for me. Because people become uncomfortable with how well I can read them, when they have shown me very little of themselves.
I'm going through this right now. It's kinda scary how alone I have become. When you start standing up for yourself, it's like rats leaving a sinking ship.
It is because the present system of education is not interested in teaching the fact that - all is lost when conduct is lost , this fact though lives in the conscience of every person so when any one is not according to the norms of today gets abandoned and hated because it touches thier conscience on that same point of the resonsibility of good conduct .
An aging INFJ is even more free… because we just don’t give a damn what others think and we don’t feel shame anymore for anything about our personalities.
When I share my insightfulness, no one believes me. I'm done trying to explain myself. I'm 64 and am tired of dealing with people. I now use it to help myself.
I started to be grateful for my INFJ dark side. It shows how strong I am deep inside when people cross the line. After that every punch I get makes me stronger. I never do drama just become cold, distant and extremely calm. They become nothing to me after that. I smile inside because I know exactly their weak spots and I can wait until the right time. I never want to harm anybody or to feel bad. I am empath, I give everything I can to help people and give my best in workplace and private life but often they want to control and use me in different ways. They see me as a perfect punching bag to boost their ego, an easy target who don't stand up for himself. I just don't play that egoistic, hierarchy game. I play in a different court. The problem is for them that they don't see when they cross the line because I am patient.
It's all so simple - you have to make people know that they have to trigger your bright side, they have to be nice and kind to you in order for you to be all nice and kind that you can be.
coming from an INTJ here, i think that this 'darkside' you speak of here is nothing but our ABSOLUTELY OUTSTANDING Ni (introverted intuition) - OR - advanced pattern recognition. BOTH of our types see whats coming MILES down the road (except for some reason i see you all have a hard time detecting and rejecting narcissists - and i FEEL FOR you there) INFINITELY EARLIER than ANYone else. KNOW that this 'dark side' of yourself ABSOLUTELY IS a >>>>>>> STRENGTH >>>>>>>>>>>>> ABSOLUTELY IS
I love that I can survive difficult situations and come out of them better than before 🙂 it take a lot of strenght and I can get depressed, but I always manage. This makes taking risks seem less scary. Thank you for this video! It helps
THE 5 INGREDIENTS TO THE INFJ DARK SIDE 1:09 _ Ingredient #1 _ The INFJ is cold as Ice 3:17 _ Ingredient #2 _ The INFJ is very calculating 5:09 _ Ingredient #3 _ INFJs are very resilient 6:32 _ Ingredient #4 _ INFJs are very adaptable 10:56 _ Ingredient #5 _ The INFJ is very insightful
Growing up, my late Mom would on several times look at me with concern and say "you're lacking something"! Sometimes I can visualize her telling me that. I`ve been trying for most of my life to figure out what that 'something' is. Since I have been interested in the MBTI in particular the INFJs, I am understanding myself. The 'something' is my cold hearted side. I believe I am an INFJ, I just discovered this a year ago. I`m entrenched by all the videos on the subject. It helps me understand myself, For 57 years I have stuggled with my life. Every description of this type is me. Knowing I`m wired differently is helping me cope.
I will forever be grateful to the high school teacher who had us take the test in psych class. It hasn't always made life easy knowing this stuff, but it's been more manageable knowing myself better. ❤
I am always floored at how insightful your videos are, Wenzes, and how adroitly the mindset of the Myers-Briggs Personality Indicator in your hands maps onto the growth struggles of the INFJ. We want to grow. That's our nature. As you pointed out in this key video, there are INFJ obstacles that can be identified and therefore there is INFJ growth tailored counsel for getting beyond these obstacles to live your best life. Honestly though, Wenzes, I could use more directive teaching on navigating the adaptive feature of the INFJ personality. I have created a novel, which will potentially require me to address my thoughts and values to an undifferentiated audience, for which as an INFJ with a lifelong habit of selectively engaging will be the challenge of my life. Since you yourself are in the public sphere, Wenzes, and have likely worked with folks at the fork of this dilemma, I would so greatly appreciate it if you might possibly share a video on this topic of how an INFJ can authentically remain true to their INFJ adaptibility strength while operating in a public space, so that it doesn't become a weakness. Thank you.
Imagine a class of kindergarten children... that's what people are... Simplify and simplify yourself. Get to the point... While remembering you're not "wrong" for others misunderstanding, just let it be. Acceptance is the main part of dealing with multitudes of people. Best of luck.
This was a very interesting treatment of our dark side. I appreciated your emphasis and how you showed us how embracing it can actually be a benefit to us and to others. I think we're often afraid of making people think that we consider ourselves somehow "better than they are," so we try to avoid it. But you have showed us in this video that we can actually benefit ourselves by embracing this side of ourselves and acting confident. I especially see how that can happen through items 3, 4 and 5. Good video
I like that u mention "calculating" Wenzes. I ask then, not only u, but all INFJ people watching this video..."do INFJ people really fall in love, or we simple care a lot"?
It's interesting that we love people, but when it trends in a less positive direction, we can also door slam and not talk to them again for our own peace of mind. In general, we wonder why it doesn't bother us to do so. We just hope to make better choices next time. They wonder why they lost a wonder person in their life.
I think that we fall in love with everyone we care about and it might only look like just caring a lot, but how deeply we feel in combination with the ability to absorb/project others' emotions is what makes us most vulnerable so it makes sense that it appears that way from some outside-looking-in angles. Because from those angles you can clearly see the walls; from the perspective of our loved ones, however, only they can see the holes and gaps in those walls that everyone is seeing, methinks... 🤔 A long-winded way of stating that our expression of love is unique in that only so few people can receive our love and perceive it as such, while on the outwardly appearing as detached, calculating, or excessively pragmatic!
I disagree with you saying we're cold. We're distant and subtly defensive. We learn to protect ourselves, but that's because we care. We may not be sentimental about the past, but we're warm in the moment, even though we might not show it. Our candor might seem cold, but it comes from a place of caring.
i feel u fully.....the depth of my patience hasnt change (its my nature), its just more latent now. not as available to everyone all the time like in my 20's. gotta earn that now....i heard a great quote a few years ago....."sometimes you have to be vigilant about your happiness"
Outstanding! Connect with, and accept these traits. Other creatures of God don't question themselves: Only us humans make large circles that lead us back to our truth, in a Zen- like manner. Thank you, Wenzes!
Make it a "game I'm playing with myself" (to see how many opportunities to assert yourself there are versus how many you take, if they need further explanation.) 🤔 It shows them that you're trying to work on that part of yourself, acknowledging that this may inconvenience them, and letting them know it's not a personal slight against them that you're putting your foot down simultaneously! Plus, if you really make it a game, then you'll be more likely to actually follow through with your intent to express your needs.😊 What do you think?
You could also trade some of your personal stockpile of "karma points," which as an INFJ you'll naturally possess in abundance. You'll never be able to spend them all from being such a good person anyways, so you can give them a generous amount of karma points in exchange for extricating yourself from whatever their equation is at the moment...
Add: blunt I don’t beat around the bush anymore. If I feel it necessary to say something, I say what I feel needs to be said. No explanations no apologies.
wow i just find you couple of week and i feel you will help me a lot for comprehend and go foward in my life! just in time! thank you to share your knowledge! big hug
Because I can read a situation doesn't mean I can't protect myself. I see how others use me or share private information that I told them they aren't free to share. My trust is very limited due to these people breaking my trust.
my dark side is rather sth like an angry puppy :D not very intimidating and definitely not lethal. I have noticed though that those who have hurt me get very painful retribution in the end. it may take years even, many years... its not like i wish them suffering, no, but you see, God has eyes no matter what.
The other side of deep calculating is (~4.00 into feed) we know who we are, what are our priorities and who is "in" and "out" on game plays. Sure, lots of souls get brushed off early on and are like WTF? But the souls who get past the first game plays and play like they are trustworthy get in on intimate game play early, hard, and reliably. Think Hugh Jackman and Deborra-Lee Furness - who had 25+ years of a beautiful relationship and graceful moving forward. INFJs might come across as slow, but that is only with souls who do "resonate" safety and might be an existential, communal, or networking threat. Then there is the other side of the game where an intuitive (INFJ) gets they have found a "good soul" and just double down on the good stuff (think Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce). Sure, this might all turn to stuff in a handbasket, but good souls are rooting for this couple because they epitomise "love, life, and liberty" exists, and there are actors playing for those victories.
The dark side my journey across the valley I met people in white coats best friends helping me on my way I also met people in black coats resisting my every step with there foot on my back I could barely crawl part of that journey beat down and crawling over the finish line HE was there I couldn't even speak HE smiled at me and said turn around as I turned around they were taking off the black coats underneath were white coats
I'm just wondering if anyone has had an experience of a door slam (without the drama) when the dark side is activated?. When you have a sudden insight about someone that changes everything, and you realize that its toxic and unhealthy?
Eh... that explains why becoming Maquiavelic is far a necesary attitude!! Just... Destroy the Universe not to conquer... just... we want to know what happens then!!
