The Acolyte Episode 1 REVIEW: MAKE IT MAKE SENSE DISASTER!! 

Also good is evil, evil is good, and lesbians must be worshipped like goddesses.

Even better, by the time of the OT, all traces of this is squashed out galaxy wide.

Eerily close to what Disney Marvel did to America Chavez.

Well, after all 100% of space crimes were comited by lesbians in the real life. Look it up. So this is just imitating reality.

Lol😂

Reeeeeeeva? Alive. Pocket knife to Trinity? Dead.

Because in Ahsoka the YASSS QUEENS have no internal organs just formation of skin held together by the Gayness in force holding the Gay mitochondrian together.

The force healed her cause they are both female. The force didn’t like Qui gon Jin cause he was not female. The force probably tried to save that blue slutty Jedi that got gun down but the clone troopers didn’t know how to stop shooting

Lightsabers are clearly non lethal now

@@cowetascore8476 that little blade disconnected her from the matrix and she died instantly lol

And it makes way more sense.

The scene where they were getting in the escape pods made me think of "Come back here you fat, bearded b!tch!"

And that moment came when The Force Awakens failed to reunite the original cast for one last grand adventure.

Of course it was better, because Mel Brooks knew that you need to respect the source material in order to create a good parody unlike Leslye Headland did with the Acolyte

@@laszlokiss4409 Hopefully one of these days they make the same observation that Dark Helmet did.."I knew it, I'm surrounded by assholes!"

Just wait a year, the numbers will be reversed... it takes that long to 'quietly' remove 'offensive' audience reviews and for the elite critics to realize they need to distance themselves from the fallout!

Yeah that 29% couldn’t have anything to do with trog chud boys spamming and review bombing the show on RT 🙄. Cause they’ve never done that before.

Good news on a long run the Massage will run out of money. Because you actually need customers to make money as a business.

I'm sure it isn't great but lets be real, how many of those dislikes actually watched the show? Or were just geeks & gamers nerderotic fans just disliking for the sake of disliking? Have to look at it both ways.

@@lonewolf604 Don't need to watch it to know it's crap. The promotion for this show said it all, they only talked about how gay it was and nothing about the story or the characters.

And black 😂

it's R2 Double D's....

Can’t wait for the R2 D2 and R6 D4 fooking scissoring. Im acquiring the droid hub domain name immediately.

And Anakin blew up the Death Star.

Did your Grandma tell you that?

Fear the Tardo is legend

"Brick Face"

I think Lesbyan Headcase is more fitting.

🤣😂

She's Thwomp from Super Mario and I can't unsee it

...and then realize they only graduated because they weren't told 'no' in school, and they only got jobs in the film industry because they weren't told 'no' in the interview, and they only made the waste of film because they were never told no in the producers office.... ...and then realize the true depth of the problem! There will always be someone willing to not simply say, 'NO!'

You know, narcissists tend to call other people narcissist. How dare they not make a show exactly how you would want it. How narcissistic of them

@@Truth-io5lz No… No it doesn’t. That’ll be like a trans person saying to a Psychologist. Well YOU must have Gender Dysphoria too! 😂

And they said human trafficking doesn't pay off.

Who'd have thought we'd be living in a time when the Holiday Special was no longer considered the worst thing ever to happen to Star Wars?

The Holiday Special, the 2 Ewok movies, The Ewok/Droid cartoon hour...

Reject this heresy.

Better have a talk with Larry

But all of Star Wars is owned by them. So all profits from Star Wars goes into their pockets. So nobody can enjoy supporting it unless you like paying KK bonuses.

Exactly. It's just w0ke feminism in star wars face.

Except The Mandelorian, Rouge One and Only One Kenobi tv show that's good

When she says "My moms" it's not ebonics

I can't wait to meet these 'mom's', I have money riding on a burly bearded mom in make up and a dress... drinking soy latte.....

I believe you nailed it

Star wars is so patriarchy. yes YES!

I trully appreciate the pedanticness of this joke you’ll either get it or you won’t

Nicely done! 😂

Who would call their kid osha? I mean seriously

"Using a high temperature plasma cutter without any safety gear?" [tuts, annotates clipboard]

You left out the part where it accidently ignited and cut the table in half. Your lucky, they wanted to confiscate all the light sabers. The jedi council had to grease some palms that day. That's why you were held back from the master title for so long.

Same

"One day there will be six more _Star Wars_ films and regular tv shows you can watch whenever you like. And you won't want to watch any of it." [confused surly teenaged noises]

Likewise!

And the Lego is a better actor 😂

Wish she'd tried to tangle with an Astartes. The interaction would have been short, one-sided, and satisfying.

Leslie Legohead looks like a Lego character.

The algorithm deleted my comment for suggesting a match-up between her and an Astartes marine from WH40K. Didn't even say anything overtly violent. What the actual Hell?

​@@mercuryshadow09 she is from mega bloks.

Why not both?

Velma Batwoman....J3D1 M45T3R it's starship has bass in the trunk..... it's laser sword has a electrum hilt it's robes are purple and pink....run for the hills

If in Velma Scooby-Doo fits... they'll wear it

If only it had been the Batwoman of Star Wars, it would be safely locked away from prying eyes by now.

These iconoclasts keep finding new, unspeakable ways to completely desecrate all that is beautiful in the world. They just keep topping themselves.

The hidden cost.... -10 Intelligence

That will be the only thing anybody remembers about this show.

YAAAAASSSSSSSS, yaaaaaassssss. I completely forgot she's in the film. Makes sense since she's wearing a smiley helmet

She is a powerful lesbian leader of a coven of witches that live outside of the Republic, but are still opressed by the patriarchy.

Still can't fathom how such an act of hubris didn't result in her getting struck by lightning on the spot.

Turns out Lando is her father

Fckin died 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

No it's the whinny little fanboys complaining about the prequels

@@SharreIWright No, 'whiny little fanboys', didn't make the sale. Without the sale there would be no Disney Wars, period! Next scapegoat.........?!??!?!?!

I would argue that the real reason is that George Lucas didn't put in writing what the story would be, and relied on KK's "promise" that she would use his material

@@jeffrix27 He offered his treatment for the sequel series, this is document fact. Disney agreed to look at them with no obligation to use them, this is document fact. Disney choose not to use them in any way, this is documented fact.

No, it’s Bob Iger’s fault for not following George’s outline for the sequels. George had KK make him pay for that. In the wallet. All KKs decisions have been made to cost Disney money.

Disney - "That's where you're wrong! We're gonna get that money printer to go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!"

I'm definitely not paying for the forced transition.

Beautifully said.

This is racist. And homophobic. Probably transphobic. And anti-they/them, xe/xer, ze/zer, and clown/clownself. Pay to see this or you're a bigot!

This “L” hates it. And I’m sure there’s others. Nobody is interested in this rubbish.

I'm still waiting for Robin Hood: Men in Tights 2.

Blazing Saddles 2 with a Race swap. Madeline with a strap-on...

Good idea. To bad everyone doesn't imitate you. That would stop this stuff.

I’m keeping it until Andor season 2 but after that show I’m done with Disney

Never had it, never will.

I call them soulless

But these fools consider the Dark Side to be good, so we are the Good Guys after all...Fuckin clown world.

Racist, homofoob, bigot, misogynist and now we can add evil to the list. Just another tell they don’t know anything about star wars. Or the base principles its based on

"I keep records of my job performance in case I need to defend my decisions and actions." There, solved it for 'em.

i mean if the prequel jedis are agains emotional attachment i can see how that would include nostalgia. probably not as high up on the list as sexual lust or whatever but still.

😂😂😂

And probably blew someone...

...and gay.

That was at the battle of Yazz Yazz, when Analin's mother was researching spiders to find out why stones sink and toads get struck by lightning.

I mean, Anakin being black was half right at least 😅

..because it won't make dollars! 🥁🥁💥

When you force it, it will turn into a messy shit resembling Kathleen Kennedy.

"The Force" may indeed be female now, because then it would actually be logical that everything is illogical...smh.

I made ‘The Force shit.’ Kathleen Kennedy. My take on the quote.

Shart Wars

More like "Fuck the fans of Star Wars"

Because the only way these Hollywood hacks can make the 5 ft nothing 90 lbs soaking wet female leads look strong is by turning every male around them into incompetent soyboys.

To ask the question is to answer it.

Shut it Wesley

C'mon, Wesley was a mega chad compared to those guys

Feminism operates by making men weaker so [birthing persons] can get ahead.

Comedy = Tragedy + Time. It's been over a decade; plenty of time for the tragedy to be funny

Not as fun as space balls tho. Suck it, suck, suck…

​@@billsutherbyExactly, the transition into a farce is complete

Worse, it's a heresy.

​@@billsutherby It ceases to be funny when you realize all of this is a calculated insult, to the broader audience, and fans/original author in particular. And I don’t find iconoclasm funny.

I can't help but be reminded of a certain Greek myth. Now, everyone knows the relationship between Zeus and Hera was... strained. Not just because of Zeus' perpetual infidelities and Hera venting her frustrations on his partners/victims and their offspring (it wasn't like she could oppose Zeus directly). This particular conflict went beyond, to the diametric tension between the fundamental masculine (shaping) and feminine (generation) principles both reflected. During one of their arguments, Hera said she'd produce children _without Zeus,_ to which Zeus said, "Okay, show me." Hera's attempts to produce children alone created two Olympian gods, Ares and Hephaestus, two gods which most Greeks _did not respect._ * Unlike Athena, who was venerated by every Greek warrior and was the patron goddess of all the aspects of war the Greeks liked (e.g. strategy, bravery, leadership, etc.), Ares represented all the aspects of war the Greeks hated (e.g. the dying, the aftermath, losing, etc.). Ares was a bloodthirsty berserker who left only ruin in his wake (and who was regularly humiliated by god and mortal alike in many myths that have survived). *No one (except Aphrodite, and even then only because she thought he was handsome/slept eith him constantly) liked Ares.* * Hephaestus was born deformed, ugly, and lame. What's more, by some accounts he was crippled by Zeus for siding with Hera during an argument; his legs no longer worked, and he required the aid of two robots of his own design to help him walk. While Zeus did award Aphrodite to Hephaestus as a bride, and despite Hephaestus continually crafting jewelry and baubles for her, Aphrodite cheated on him constantly (usually with Ares). More importantly, in the heavily stratified class systems of ancient Greece, craftsmen (of which Hephaestus was a patron) were near the very bottom of the social ladder, not least because of the dirty nature of their work. Only craftsmen prayed to Hephaestus, and that alone would have been enough for men and gods to turn up their noses at both. The point of this myth was to demonstrate that it takes both sexes to create life, with the warning that neither can create new life on their own. *This heretical plot point is infinitely more abominable than Hera's experiments on her own.*

But, all nerds are geyh now...

@@Xbalanque84 Funny you should mention that. An amusing detail about Greek mythology is the Zeus created his daughter Athena just by himself. It was the one time he did not have intercourse with anyone. He wanted to create the perfect daughter, so he used all his mind, and Athena came out of his mind. That is why Athena is the Goddess of Wisdom. To say it drove Hera ballistic would be an understatement. What's even more funny is as years passed, Athena became of the few goddess Hera would trust. .... Don't think about that too much.

I was thinking the same thing about Plageuis. He tried to create life, the Force rejected their tampering, and created the Chosen One to destroy the Sith. But lesbian space witches, especially BLACK ones...the Force has a special place in its heart for them. Go wahmen!!

stop the law has been broken 1 million megacredits one should never have to turn off their brain to enjoy entertainment.... when this contrivance weas invented it ruined entertainment cus now we get simplicity and rhotardation! we need complexity...depth the plot can be simple...bad guys idnap the girl and the hero has to kill em all to get her back simple but the complexity is they'e 500 miles away now and they need to know exactly where they are and it's a race against time....if anyone knows movies this is the plot of Commando simple movie but had layers and was fun for sci fi it's also layered... you have the general story on top the character stories under that, the war that overshadows everything later on move up to surface layer for a bit as i said then at the end things go bac to normal and a good show will do the aftermath and road to peace and have other sub plots, other races wanting to continue their rivalries, a new galactic power being created to stop the endless wars etc or just maintain status quo and again if anyone knows their shows this is Babylon 5...there's way more to it of course! if a story is just surface level it's not worth investing in....FFS I USED TO WATCH STAR TREK FOR NORMALCY! and it ain't normal anymore.... I used to watch star trek to defrag....our minds need stimulation not to be shut off! you can go brain dead if you want but not me to me chat caused brain damage!

With extremely RARE exceptions, everything Disney has produced for Star Wars is stupid shit, written by stupid people, FOR stupid people.

Or if you've been completely lobotomized

So it's written for vegetables?

@@shadf7902 its the only way to truly sit through it and not have severe eye twitching

Good thing too... Order 66 would have been a real massacre otherwise.......

Consider the laziness of the show runners......

You expect a sexual predator to be creative?

You expect a predator to be creative?

They used the force obviously, duh!

Quantum entangled hair. Extremely entangled. It's dreadful, really.

"(The Acolyte) is too *_Dumb_* for Children -&- too *_BORING_* for Adults." 🎞👎

He's not watching it "for us". He's just doing it for clicks and money

@@sebicmiel4221 and he can have both those things of it means I don’t have to watch it, and get the enjoyment of seeing him review it. 😜

I love how negative reviews go full detail on why the show sucks, and positive reviews are as vague and generic as AI generated review would go )

its the bell curve ..the mass is making Fs....social media summary

@@exhostosis All a part of the plan. The reason the final product is mediocre to begin with is due to ideology. The message or narrative promotion matters more to them in the long term despite the financial loss in the short term. Self inflicted hamstringing of creative ability.

What is RT. Isn't that Russian Television. Makes sense celebrating the decline of the USA.

Many of the positive reviews actually still criticize it pretty roundly, but then just end with 'but it's the bestest evar!'.

They're trying their best, to be clever. However, the nonstop hedonism, fueled by drugs and debauchery, has left their minds rotten. They can't keep track of story beats. Everything becomes inconsistent, to the point, you'll begin noticing it even in the quality of the camera work. Talented people get fed up, or pushed out. Then get replaced by DEI.

You expect a sexual predator to be creative?

If you don't think about it, it kind of makes sense. Trust the process.

It was over 180

Eating caviar, drinking champagne, as the titanic goes down.

How much did Headland spend on Wayfair cabinets?

Darth Kathleen didn't spend enough.

KK and Headland are funneling money to Swiss bank accounts for sure

I dislike Disney for building his empire using public domain IP (The Brothers Grimm, Hans Christian Anderson, etc.), while making people think these were his creations...but at least he also elevated the characters and storytelling. These modern day Disney Execs buying beloved IP (Pixar, Marvel, Star Wars) to breath life into their stale catalog...and then proceeding to destroy all of it to push their political agendas also while complaining they can't make a buck insulting legacy fans is beyond reprehensible.

Vicariously celebrate the bon fire that it has become... sure the numbers aren't comparable, but they will keep going until even those people get bored with it all!!!

I feel bad for the Korean actor though. They brought him in as a DEI. He clearly didn't know what he was getting into.

@@bolg892 TBF much of the cast are DEI hires, lol. I wouldn't have thought he was one in particular, because he was one of the actors where Headland saw them in something else (in his case, he played the winner in Squid Game) and wanted their characters in the show. Yep, their characters. She's made comments like, "I saw this movie and wanted to see that character as a Jedi". What a brilliant writer! Though I'd agree the Korean may not have known he was going into something crap, because he didn't really know English before casting.

Dollars to donuts, she actively participated. At the very least, she got sloppy seconds.

She was looking for left-overs, let's not kid ourselves.

🤣😆🤣

You expect a predator to be creative?

You mean when the dude uses his lightsaber as a flashlight, when they've just told us they only use it when prepared to kill?

@@Mangolorian-je3eo Well.... He was killing air molecules........

Unfortunately Az will have to crawl through another 700 yards of shite, before he makes it out of the Gayshank Mental Institution, while dealing with foulness we can't even imagine...

Remember, every second costs $9,800.

Yeah this was common knowledge always, that she wasnt gonna last even 1 ep. Also I think they had to speed her up in fast motion becauae of how slow she moves in her old age 😂😂😂😂😂

@@shadf7902 Honestly I wouldn't have minded if they had to get Carrie Ann Moss a wheelchair and a can of prune juice in between takes - it's Carrie Ann Moss as a Jedi Master and that is/was awesome. How you could blunder onto that awesome idea and then decide she needs to die after only 1 scene is infuriating IMHO.

Are you kidding me, they only had $180 _million,_ how were they going to be able to afford her when they have to have our craft services and lattes?!?!?!?!?!

They dont have a care in the world? This Is harveys W. former assistant in real life.......

Insane or simply malicious, they are fully on board with the iconoclasm, thus rendering them utterly evil and the distinction academic.

​​@@shadf7902 How much of the show's budget do you think she spent on Wayfair cabinets?

Good analogy

😮​@@Xbalanque84

Brilliant

No to mention in the absence of gravity/air, it would be an amorphous flame not the flickering long flames

Don't let her leave the country.

Fire cleanses

Ya, but to be fair.... It is a big ask to give her total control of 'every little single thing' which is exactly what she wanted!!!! Let her have her tantrum... that is the only accurate word... everyone who could care has already stopped caring... and everyone who still cares is just vicariously throwing the same tantrum!

Even the next generation of the Jedi order isn't even properly learning Jedi policy & procedure. Which brings us back to OSHA.

I think anyone who watches this show will want to use Deathsticks by the end.

More importantly, "The High Republic" is pure heresy. Meaning this will be a new level of blasphemy.

I'm betting, in the writers room, #2 will never change....

You win the internet today.

Ok see you then

Knowing them, this was extremely deliberate.

I'm still trying to fathom why she agreed to be in a blink and you'll miss it part (apparently there is a later small flashback). I know Hedland says she loved Matrix so I'd say she fawned and begged but hell no amount of arse crawling would see me accept if I was of Moss' calibre.

She might have 'accidentally' revealed how robotic the diversity cast was... you wouldn't want that, now, _would you!_

This is literally Darth Menopause and the Brick scissoring on the ashes.

A skeleton, at this point.

@@Xbalanque84 fooking scissoring

More like instant transmission. Everything might as well be taking place within a five block radius with how fast they travel between scenes.

@@Xbalanque84 '...Five block radius...'?!?!?! How about same floor of a very _very_ small office building!!!