The Advantages of Being 'just Good Friends'

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We're used to thinking of the state of friendship as hugely inferior compared with that of being in a relationship. But comparing how most people behave in a couple, compared with how they are in a friendship, should perhaps lead us to reconsider our choices.
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FURTHER READING
“One of the most subtly hurtful and quietly damning of all remarks, perhaps quietly and sweetly delivered on the doorstep at the end of a long evening, with the taxi still hovering somewhere just out of sight, is the suggestion that we should in the end probably remain ‘just good friends’
We know exactly what to understand by this. The path towards a tender future is being gently but firmly closed off. We are, with a smile, being shunted into the category of the failed, the ignored and the lightly despised. The other must in some way have worked out the despicable truths about us - all the ones that we tried so hard to disguise and even to believe didn’t exist - and has logically decided to take their leave. We return crushed to an apartment which we had left with butterflies and elevated hopes only a few hours before…”
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Опубликовано:

5 мар 2018

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Комментарии : 2,2 тыс.

@theschooloflifetv 6 лет назад

Have you ever had possitive experiences in the "friend zone"? Join us in America at the end of March to discuss many more interesting topics like this: goo.gl/qqWwMQ

@namename911 6 лет назад

first maybe

@zlac 6 лет назад

I know some "very good friends" who never started a relationship because they didn't wanna lose a friend. They all got married to other people and don't see each other for years (or never). One guy told me that he's very sorry because of this, because the old saying goes: "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."... He's the one who didn't want a relationship, the girl was willing.

@gumerzambrano 6 лет назад

Marcos Arizpe Nicely Summarized! I've been best friends with a girl for 5 years a find finally kissed her LOL

@xblade149 6 лет назад

So so

@villager2556 6 лет назад

+Marcos Arizpe I'm sorry for reacting so strongly, but that last paragraph of yours is complete and utter bullshit. You seem to be looking at men and women as almost completely different lifeforms- but in reality, we're all just human. Even though "love" is something that is held incredibly high up in our society, it is not everything, by far. And it is completely possible and very common to have friends with a different gender than you that are completely unromantic/non-sexual. It does sound like you've made some very bad experiences with some women, and if that's true, I'm sorry. But please, don't generalize that to all other people.

@eneveasi 5 лет назад

Platonic friendships have literally transformed how I view love. Letting go of the desire for sexual intimacy has brought me to see just how truly I love and am loved, completely and fully. You don't need sex for love. Just enjoy the being with a person, care for them, share compassion and invest in each other's well beings no matter what and you will see what true love can be. And you will find yourself in the Best relationships of your life, and who knows it may lead to a far more harmonious and caring intimate partner.

@Banziafy 3 года назад

amazing comment. thank you

@nitramrobits9653 3 года назад

Same here. I can confirm.

@anthonybietsch8121 3 года назад

How’s that going for you?? I’m curious because I am about to see an exe right now lol

@samaaelmeghallawy2708 3 года назад

yesss!

@15wwe15 3 года назад

I remember reading this comment a few days ago, and thinking that I could never feel this way towards my bff, I thought of "Just being friends" as some kind of "humiliation", as a consolation prize if you will, I was so ignorant! It's far from the truth...!, it's soo dificult nowadays to find someone with whom to connect in a deeper level, and just be yourself. I would highly recomend whoever is going through the dilema of "Can we just be friends?", to get past the fact that probably nothing romantic is going to happen (easier said than done, believe you me, I KNOW), and just apreciate the value of your friendship and the countless things you gain with it!

@MatthewVanAtta0 6 лет назад

Being alone but not lonely is a wonderful place to be!! :-)

@barbarahammer9037 5 лет назад

I am lonely and 71 years old..Pray for me . What is your secret not to be lonely in your life ???/ I need help from you my friend.. Thank you..

@StephJ0seph 5 лет назад

@@barbarahammer9037 This usually has to do with personality. There are people who are just fine being alone and in fact would prefer it rather than being in the company of others. But there are also people that feel really lonely by themselves and those are usually the more social types of people. If you are in the latter group try spending more time with your family, adopting a pet, or going out and meeting more people to chat with.

@anneb889 5 лет назад

Barbara Hammer Try volunteering if you are able. Just getting out and interacting with others a little bit, having a purpose, an obligation that you look forward to, can go a long way to combat loneliness.

@barbarahammer9037 5 лет назад

@@anneb889 that is true. I am going to church and meeting new people now again and i do feel better thank you very much . be safe and take care.

@killqueen6658 5 лет назад

It's taken me almost 21 years to learn how to do that

@mrflibble1259 6 лет назад

I recently met a girl and we really seemed to hit it off. It's safe to say I developed a crush on her but over time it became apparent that she wasn't interested in a relationship with me, or anyone else for that matter. I was pretty depressed about it for some time and I even stopped talking to her for a bit. Then I realised, what's the point? If we can't be lovers, why is being friends so much of a step down? I actually feel a lot better around her now, my only motive to be a friend not a lover. This video couldn't have come at a better time.

@spacemanx9595 5 лет назад

Because being rejected on a DNA level as a potential romantic partner is actually a pretty big insult? Why would I be friends with someone who recoils at the mention of dating me? Seems like a weird reaction.

@staind.raindrop 5 лет назад

You can't fathom a female in place in life where she doesn't want to have a relationship with anyone, Spaceman X? I'm in one, and I haven't recoiled at the thought of dating any of the people I've had to explain that to. Just hearing no does not mean you turn someone off.

@key2theuniverse713 5 лет назад

Hey pal, I'm a nosy t*at and was just wondering, you still friends, everything turn out alright in the end? I'm just curious XD

@Weeeelium 5 лет назад

Don’t lie to yourself. You still had feelings

@sesvetski 5 лет назад

Mr. Beta :D

@sonninblaning4688 4 года назад

True Friendships could simply be one of the most wholesome things that make life worth living

@StardustSpiritDragon 3 года назад

But friends with an opposite sex can be your downfall..... Be careful what you wish for......

@Hellokitty_391 2 года назад

@@StardustSpiritDragon but not everyone are straight

@MicahBuzanANIMATION 6 лет назад

"Couldn't we just be lovers?" is already the culture of dating apps.

@notserious6458 6 лет назад

Nord that's a major stretch

@saintjabroni 6 лет назад

Nord Explain yourself, bub.

@lisawhelan2101 6 лет назад

yeah but it doesn't mean that most people understand that friendship is not a consolation prize.

@Yumemaru. 6 лет назад

indrinita well that's the biggest stretch of all time.

@MintBiscuit 6 лет назад

With three hundred and ninety one thousand views you would think that one person is in a similar situation.

@RoxyAKADrakesWife 6 лет назад

Part of the issue is that we put friendship on a pedestal and force ourselves to stay friends in situations where we would be better off taking a break. If you have strong feelings for a friend and they turn you down, you need to take time away from the friendship. You're not a bad guy for ending a friendship in which romantic feelings aren't reciprocated.

@TobiasWeg 5 лет назад

I think that is a fair counter point.

@lilnonono5942 4 года назад

Thank you! Really needed to read that.

@kristinebalwit8034 4 года назад

Thank you. I really needed this.

@amasion2882 4 года назад

Yes, and friends who reject a friend wanting romantic attention shouldn’t feel guilty about not reciprocating. They should graciously accept the friendship might end, especially if it’s a “fake friendship” where the suitor only became friends hoping for romance. Friends should also be compassionate and respectful. Do not flirt or treat your friends like you MIGHT be romantically interested in them if you’re not.

@deepanjan.sengupta 4 года назад

@@amasion2882 sometimes the feelings just develop, it's not always in control. There are many relationships which have started from friendship, keeping the feelings within with the pretence of being friends makes the situation toxic, at some point or the other.

@gabania 6 лет назад

To the ones who've missed the point: Friendship is more valuable than , not love, but "romantic" love.

@tonywalker1954 5 лет назад

Right True friendship is Love. And is much more valuable than Romantic Love or SEX. People only focus on the sex and wonder why the relationship is messed up. I would. Be friends and love my friend Than be in love with one person and lose everything that made our friendship so amazing just to focus on sex sex sex and eventually lose everything

@CinematicCami 4 года назад

I’m kinda feeling like this now.. I’m best friends with her and we had a thing before her mom passed but now she clearly doesn’t like me but we do everything together. & she’s very attractive so I feel like if I just get the sexual thoughts out of my head , I’ll be fine. Like yes I miss the intimacy but I’m not going to lose her over her not liking me anymore. I basically feel like her bf as far as how much I see her and we talk but without the intimacy. So it’s a process but I have to accept it.. and if something happens in the future then so be it but if not then I’m happy we are great friends.

@neiljaucian5854 4 года назад

Nice. Clasic love by goethe is real love

@LuisRodriguez-mz1gz 4 года назад

Yeah right lmao let me put him on the freind zone so that i can go and have multible lovers and when thats done i can go back to you. like really ? Come on that bs domt really work and men are starting to see that

@nielsenth1801 4 года назад

CP Films Then I keep my fingers crossed that it works out between you two somehow. I have also made a best friend out of an old crush. A friend I truly don’t deserve but one I have always needed.

@fadi77fadi77 6 лет назад

it's not the "love" lost that makes friendzoning terrible, it's the opportunity of intimacy that is thrown out. That alone makes one feel rejected and unwanted.

@AraneaTempestatibus 4 месяца назад

You can get intimacy even in platonic relationships...it seems like people only believe that intimacy starts from sharing bodily fluids WTF.

@Milkyboy92 6 лет назад

Except a lot of the time "let's just be friends" is just a polite way of saying "I don't see you that way and now it's gonna be awkward between us so please don't speak to me ever again".

@laterollbutt8246 6 лет назад

George Marcus I personally have said that and actually meant it, I would never cut off a friend from my life just because they like me and I done like them back

@solveigdiriksdottir2689 6 лет назад

George Marcus

@Shinkajo 6 лет назад

Late roll Butt That is actually more cruel in the long run.

@jackchow4316 6 лет назад

True.

@LufthansaDAIGO 6 лет назад

Why should I want to be friends with her if she doesnt see me as a person who can give love and wants to get love back? It is a lie! And I dont like liars!

@melkerart1793 6 лет назад

Having friends of both sexes is just as vital as having a relationship.

@peentgamer 6 лет назад

melkerart not true

@melissaCgreenwood 6 лет назад

If a guy want to be friends with me it's because he wants sex. I'm never friend zoning anyone ever, that shit ends right there and then. More women need to understand this, with the wrong person they are playing a dangerous game.

@JamieDunbar 6 лет назад

Utterly not true. It always makes me so sad when I hear people say this. With all due respect Pancakes, if this is how you feel then that's a problem you might want to address within yourself. But plenty of us are capable of pushing our sexual attractions aside to develop meaningful friendships that don't revolve around sex.

@antonco2 6 лет назад

I like how dumb people see men as some sort of dog that would have sex even with a toaster.

@JamieDunbar 6 лет назад

Sorry Pancakes, I'm a dude. And I spend plenty of time with attractive female friends and remain friends. Heck, I've even managed to stay friends with most of my ex-girlfriends. That doesn't mean my monkey brain doesn't periodically run amuck and wonder what it would be like, but I have self control and the monkey brain doesn't rule me. Whether or not I act on my thoughts is completely and utterly under my control.

@Evermore2017 Год назад

I met that once in a lifetime girl in 2017. She had a boyfriend. I respected it and we became true friends. No agenda. She engaged, married and divorced. Six years later, we are now in love and getting married. Friendship was the reason and the foundation. It established all of the prerequisites for true love. Friendship is the truest form of genuine love, not the consolation prize.

@ulrichhille5241 3 месяца назад

So you needed to press the "PAUSE" button for 6 years on your romantic feelings. Was it challenging? Any recipe? I really like your story.

@shavooo 6 лет назад

Social Media keeps pushing the idea, that being in a relationship is the ultimate goal to true happiness. Yet I'm most aware of my own existence and get my most fruitful ideas and thoughts, when I'm by myself. There are far more interesting things out there, which yet need to be discovered and experienced, so why wasting your time in a failed marriage?

@MyronsBaldspotLovesKevSamuels 5 лет назад

Society simply has always been this way, it only evolved into social media. However, I do get your overall point.

@GoldenBoyDims 4 года назад

That's why i deleted my Twitter it's just toxic everybody keeps pushing the same agenda and everyone thinks they have the right to give life tips

@onlyhuman5669 4 года назад

This👏👏

@ezrastrife 3 года назад

EXACTLY!!!! Thank you!!!

@KeliaChien 3 года назад

Marriages don’t always end poorly. I get great ideas alone and in good healthy partnerships. There should be no difference when you get ideas as one can always be independent and put themselves first no matter what! Once you really are authentic and find yourself no relationship can define you or hold you back from your passions and dreams unless you let it!’

@AfterschoolPsychology 6 лет назад

Being friendzoned by an ex is worse. You cling on to old memories when her love was still yours, Knowing that you are no longer the object of her desire, that she has buried you in the graveyard of dreams once she shared with you

@cheffington999 6 лет назад

Forreal

@s.dragna4977 6 лет назад

Or by ex husband and father of three of ur children. Fuck You I hate you I don't wanna be buddies.

@bernardnasinyama6871 6 лет назад

sociopath you mean - codependent you sound - love yourself

@lightofrosycross9106 6 лет назад

I have been "friendzoned" by my girlfriend and went over it in less than a week, tbh.

@bernardnasinyama6871 6 лет назад

the disrespect and undermining of self worth of another precious human being-self respect first before anything else. whats this friend-zone? " man that just utter stupid-imo

@KericthePally 6 лет назад

Moral of the story is that if you know your own worth and stop allowing other people's opinions to form the basis of your value as a human being then a rejection becomes what it is - another human being trying to gently tell you that you're not what they're looking for. There really is no reason to feel bad about it, we have all rejected someone before and none of us mean it to cause pain.

@lissomeo9764 6 лет назад

Keric the Pally your correct, don't feel bad about it. But you better move on

@villager2556 6 лет назад

this

@paulinebuensuceso6816 6 лет назад

Yess

@erichquinn5354 4 года назад

So how are you supposed to marry anyone who you can't be friends with....this parodox is insane! Or how are you supposed to find love if you only love your self and the partner doesn't love you? This is stupid

@onlyhuman5669 4 года назад

👏👏

@GreeceKelly 6 лет назад

We should adopt more aspects of friendships into relationships that's for sure! Why have huge expectations from a partner? Just explain what is bothering you and actually listen to what they have to say, as you would with a friend.

@maxcoseti 6 лет назад

It's funny that's the relationship advice in most School of Life videos, now all of a sudden that behavior is unique to friendships, what?

@deeznutz1966 6 лет назад

Expectations set you up for disappointment

@deepanjan.sengupta 4 года назад

@ Kelly - I did this to a girl, I just expressed that it's bothering me - without proposing to her - but she got so upset and flabbergasted that I got scared and felt utterly guilty. The friendship obviously hasn't remained.

@2_572 4 года назад

Deepanjan Sengupta You know shiity friendships/ relationships will just end new ones will begin and maybe old ones will find you in your life again:).

@edwardjonesjonesfleming5595 3 года назад

For some that's like asking them to be given the world.. not everyone can pull it off... I struggle with it daily..

@marcemerson5757 6 лет назад

The best friendships are often destroyed when one of the friends falls in love. All that history goes down the drain and the other friend is out in the cold.

@skyejacques 3 года назад

Depends on the person and their personality. Some people just view all humans as having equal value in their lives. Everyone there for a reason. If the friendship has outgrown or done what it needed in both people's lives, then yes it's best for both to move on. Attachment and codependency is what each of us needs to look out for in any of ourselves and relationships.

@PrakharTalksSports 3 года назад

Damn! I feel this. I am repenting it.

@yousleepywolf 8 месяцев назад

What happens when you remain friends and the other person eventually gets with someone else?

@emilykazoo 6 лет назад

I’m just realizing how true this is, the people I know who have a large circle of friends with many close platonic relationships seem happier than those in long term relationships generally speaking

@karlorajnovic9613 4 года назад

Seem. Just that. Nothing else. They fear relationship. Thats why they have "orbiters" and chances.

@Lucid5630 3 года назад

This is just me but I'm more happier with my partner than my friends

@poodlelord Год назад

Trust me I am miserable.

@Elizabeth-yf1dp 5 лет назад

This was exactly the video I was looking for. I’ve always been upset when I have friends who become so infatuated with their lover they forget about their friends, the people who care about them most. It’s so strange how a person can rise to such importance once the label “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” is used. In my opinion, having many people around you who love and support you, who make you feel happy, is better than one person who you love so much that it causes you pain.

@taneekawilder2141 4 года назад

So true!

@sam.uellau 7 месяцев назад

Thank you. I feel better now reading this 🥲

@licas3214 4 года назад

I was rejected by my friend, he said that " I don't like you like that, can we just be friends like before?" Surprise surprise, we still friends four years after that rejection, and sometimes i think back about what happened that day and glad, I accept his rejection and still be friend

@gokulkrishm51 Год назад

Still friends? :D

@OrisStories 6 лет назад

Honestly, I believe friendship is one of the most beautiful things in life. Romantic relationships are less dependable.

@10karamel37 3 года назад

Agree

@Lucid5630 3 года назад

Romantic relationships are a want, not a needd

@NineThreads 6 лет назад

And I would like to add: the best romantic relationship is one where both partners are or become very good friends as well

@Tgogators 2 года назад

Not always like 100% but yes many do..There's such an unfortunate stigma around being being friends first or "act now or you'll get friend zoned" mostly pushed by those self-help dating assholes.

@kj9219 3 года назад

The best relationships begin as friends.

@Lucid5630 3 года назад

So true

@Yusa_Beach 21 день назад

Omg what a shocker! Being a good friend makes one as a better partner to br with. Why didn't I think of that!

@gabrielmaddern6070 4 года назад

All of my "let's just be friends" are friends I don't have anymore.

@annc7739 3 года назад

It's understandable

@letterstojen 2 года назад

Same!!

@user-ec8rt1zp2b 2 года назад

I'm over 60 years old and the school of life is helping me finally come to realistic terms with my relationships. Thank you

@chantzukit681 6 лет назад

School of Life just read my mind... This just happened to me

@thelux8539 6 лет назад

They always post at the best time.

@dochmbi 6 лет назад

Good. Let the pain burn inside you and be a powerful motivator to improve yourself! Embrace darwinian sexual selection and fight fight fight to be among the selected! I've been so much healthier thanks to getting rejected many times!

@saketyadav1119 6 лет назад

I feel you mam

@pinklady7184 6 лет назад

"We can be just good friends." Men used to most say that 30 years ago. They used to play love games only to get sex and wanted no emotional ties. Now, the table has turned around and I am very surprised by the reversal changes in today's men and women. What has ever happened? I am stumped.

@tuomio5043 5 лет назад

Man, I on the other hand am about to ask someone out today. This is a bad omen

@ChuggieBoon 6 лет назад

If a girl ever asks me "if we could be lovers?", then I would not believe her to be human.

@DeepValueOptions 6 лет назад

CeroCompleta just have a lot of friends that are girls and eventually you’ll meet one that just manifests a relationship from a friendship of its own will

@oyahmon1 6 лет назад

CeroCompleta LMAO

@tumblrlikebutton1202 6 лет назад

CeroCompleta me neither because nobody talks like that lmfao

@luismedina5792 6 лет назад

I actually said yes to that I can't escape her

@dustinarroyo8005 5 лет назад

CeroCompleta but an animal

@YukiKunikida 6 лет назад

I needed this. I was in a relationship and we broke up two weeks ago. I was devastated (still am a little) but now I realized that I'd blame him for my irritation and sadness. Truth is, my depression is something I MUST eradicate before being involved in romance with someone. And for this, I have to be surrounded by the good friends. :))

@lorenam2813 3 года назад

And now you are better ?

@meettheartist5506 4 года назад

I was looking for this statement to be said by somebody having a mass following. Thank you for putting it out in world

@alexwb9028 7 месяцев назад

thank you for highlighting this quote

@stefankragulj8199 5 лет назад

I just want to be friends means one of three things: 1. I don't want to see you (most common) 2. I want to use U. I will pretend to be your friend, but only when it benefits me. When you need my help, I'm gone... 3. I actually want to be your friend (this is awesome, but it happens soo rarely)

@dustinarroyo8005 5 лет назад

Damn bro your heart got destroyed lol

@tonywalker1954 5 лет назад

Lmfao😂

@TranceCore3 3 года назад

the 3rd one like never happens

@10karamel37 3 года назад

I did the 3ed one I found a really good friend

@lesley275 3 года назад

Friends can turn into lovers. A lot of people want to know you are real & care about them....are a good friend....before they get super intimate. That makes a lot of sense. ( But not to horny guys wanting sex in the moment, I know!3)

@v.l.963 6 лет назад

It's too painful to remain "just as good friends". I'd rather move on.

@lucibloom5966 5 лет назад

I feel this way as well. Once you are lovers, and you have let that person inside your body you are not friends. I do not have sex with my friends. It's best to move on and have space to healthily get over them. How can you go from all that time together and feeling so close to them just wanting to call you up when they need someone to whine to or go shopping with?

@muppetallica 6 лет назад

I've been on both the friendzone's giving and receiving side. It stings either way. Here's the thing, though: None of us can help who we're attracted to. When put on the other side of the scenario, could we force ourselves to feel attraction to someone we don't? We all have the right to be attracted to whoever we're attracted to, without apologizing for, or justifying, that attraction, or lack thereof. But, that doesn't mean we don't enjoy and value all the other qualities of the other person. It doesn't mean that person isn't important to us. It doesn't mean that person is now meaningless and we wouldn't enjoy being with them anymore or want them in our lives. I know some men feel like 'a woman can get laid any time'. Besides that not being accurate, it's hurtful to be put in the 'fuckzone', where someone you value in many ways, who you thought also valued you, would only want you as a piece of meat. That's extremely dehumanizing. Guys might initially think, wow, I'd see nothing wrong with that! All the fun, none of ties. But, you wouldn't feel the same if the girl you would never want 'friendzoning' you, the girl you have all kinds of other feelings for (not just sexual), was the one doing it.

@Newfiecat 6 лет назад

Kermit's Hermits Very true.

@shorx9199 4 года назад

Nice comment 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾

@skyejacques 3 года назад

It becomes even more metaphysical when we remove gender or sex altogether and just see people as fellow humans. Some we will resonate with, some we won't. I agree, women have as many challenges as men. If you look globally, humans have so many issues. Enslavement programming, codependency programming. With respect to your point about women, I agree. I'm a woman and have not still been in a romantic relationship or had satisfactory friendships until recently, and even then I made friends with people who understood my mental health issues because they have mental health issues, so it's not all butterflies. That when I realised, when I lost everything and everyone I held dear over the course of a decade or more, that it's not about your gender, ethnicity, family (although they severely traumatise one sometimes)... It's really about energy and how we manifest things or experiences. But being alone and feeling whole is a state of consciousness I strive for. You become invincible and authentically yourself. Then hopefully you're energy can be put to financial independence and achieving goals and other milestones. And hopefully you'll finally attract good and decent people in your life, healed and loving and fun and wholesome people.

@oxibound5945 2 года назад

When we get friend zoned, doesn't it mean that we're just not enough to be in a relationship with them? Everyone can be friends with everyone. But not everyone can be partners so basically we're just not enough isn't it.

@aaronmills4290 Год назад

This is a damn good comment. 🎉

@SWATDRUMMUH 6 лет назад

Now why can't this be taught more often?

@TykoBrian7 6 лет назад

SWATDRUMMUH Because very few people get it

@sebastianelytron8450 6 лет назад

I Control My Fate woke comment!

@melissaCgreenwood 6 лет назад

I Control My Fate Speak for yourself. It's only settling if you feel that way. I prefer friends, I'm so not into dating. Every couple I know is always fighting. I don't need that garbage in my life.

@fomalhautpollux8050 6 лет назад

Because not all the people interesting in deep knowledge

@harshitaneog3057 6 лет назад

Putra Samosir not good to assume.

@mohdmohtashim9841 6 лет назад

Thank you so much, you just firmly established my belief that the whole idea of friendship and romance is upside down.

@NICOLE-sb5so 6 лет назад

So true

@robertanimrod1191 6 лет назад

YES.

@lostman812 6 лет назад

exactly

@Shinkajo 6 лет назад

How exactly?

@TipeONegatyve 6 лет назад

How is it upside down?

@RedIria 6 лет назад

Should you have friends of both sexes? Yes. Should you accept an offer of friendship when you're actually attracted to them? No. For the same reason you don't pull off your shirt and whip yourself with power cords for fun.

@brantardrey7360 4 года назад

I don't do women friends

@janinebohl7488 4 года назад

If the friendship is very good, it is worth it, though. Attraction does not equal heartbreak anyway. And i also have stayed friends with someone who actually did break my heart. Exes have stayed friends with me after i ended the relationship. Just have to be willing to move through the feelings.

@SonicBadass 4 года назад

@covid-19 There's nothing wrong with having female friends. It's just that it's an bad idea to stay friends when you want an romantic relationship. It hurt you and will strain the friendship plus you can't move on from an person when your around them. It's best to move on.

@chargandz4133 3 года назад

@covid-19 THE FUCK IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN?🤣🤣🤣 this is the most bullcrap thing I've ever read 🤣🤣🤣 Im so embarrassed for you. Why even watch the video if y'all missing the point?

@anthonybietsch8121 3 года назад

Char Gandz so what is the point? I’m lost

@katerinailievska5673 3 года назад

Sometimes friendships offer more in-depth experiences than romantic relationships. We should value friendships on the same level as romantic relationships.

@poodlelord Год назад

Depends on how much you have of each. If you only have romantic relationships, friendships would be more valuable. If you only make platonic friendships then romantic relationships are more valuable.

@InTheBleakMidwinter 6 лет назад

Erick Fromm pointed out, in his remarkable book "The Art Of Love" just how much effort and work it takes for true love to be possible, and indeed, friendship offers what could be often a far more intimate and sustainable manner of appreciation and companionship, thanks for youre great videos

@2Ten1Ryu 6 лет назад

When I was single I told my mum about my two male best friends whom I went to university with. They both are kind and patient, great friends, supportive, funny and I can have really good conversations with them. My mother asked me, then how come you're not with one of them. I said: because we are friends! It has always been a very fullfilling relationship, just not in an amorous way. I almost felt kind of offended by the thought that I somehow HAD to be with one of them because we get along well.

@otherpill7008 6 лет назад

Anne Mehlfeld that's because the women and men of that time were not vapid people who just went physical prowess or sexual attractiveness. They did not have much choices and hence knew that if someone were caring, supportive, loving, etc., they would be a amazing partner. They were logical because they did not put much emphasis on emotional love but knew that marriage was about adjustment, that no love last forever and is fleeting, and the attributes you mentioned are the best characteristics expected from a partner willing to last long in marriage and keeping both the children together.

@2Ten1Ryu 6 лет назад

what time are you talking about when you say "of that time". My mother is now in her siexties. It's not like she has some old fashioned attitude about it, I think it's just that she didn't consider that a friendship between men and women can exists while being enough for both sides.

@animecutieforever 6 лет назад

Anne Mehlfeld Yup. My mom didn't tell me that though. Literally I was friends with a guy who, we had sleep overs together, alone, and DIDN'T have sex! Can you believe that! The things we did, like having breakfast together. My goodness.

@animecutieforever 6 лет назад

One day after a month of being so close, he called me a bitch and I NEVER spoked to him again.

@2Ten1Ryu 6 лет назад

Oh my gosh, why did he call you a bitch? Do you think maybe he wanted more and was angry because he didn't get it?

@chrisncapable 6 лет назад

I don't know how these videos keep popping up at the exact moment I need them. This channel has really helped me to mature and only control what I can.

@clinicalminatology783 6 лет назад

A nice song says" luckily I'm in love with my best friend" It applies for the meaning here too . Greetings to all TSOLers from Egypt :)

@mdlouis1859 6 лет назад

This is the first video on this channel that I feel is way off the mark. While I totally agree with your description of friendship, I disagree with your portrait of love. Love is an extension of friendship, not an entirely separate thing. The love that I have experienced in my life has been none other than an enhancement on friendship, and while it does come with more hardships, it also comes with immensely greater returns. While I do love my friends, romantic love is, I find, unequivocally superior.

@muppetallica 6 лет назад

MD Louis Beautiful.

@urugozo 6 лет назад

Exactly. The stakes are higher in love, and the apraised kindness of friendship is a way of distance. You don't usually live together with your friends, you usually only see them ocasionally and therefore you forgive things that you wouldn't in a partner, or avoid critics all on the sake of harmony. It's nicer, but it's also less transparent.

@DaniloInderWildi 6 лет назад

I guess I got your point and also some other people in the comment section have already pointed it out. Though I think - even though it doesn't seem too plausible from a logical point of view - our evalution depends on whether we regard love and friendship as general ideas or whether we take that example from the video with a "choice" of having someone either as your lover or as a friend. When you're loving someone romantically and that person turns you down of course you'll feel that the offered friendship is inferior. This is because love comes with an immense desire and in this scneario you actually _had_ something else in mind than just friendship. Though I would never ever claim that the friendships I have are inferior to romantic relationships. Quite the opposite: I could live without romantic lovers (even though it would be a sad life) but I definitely couldn't without a handful of platonic friends. In other words: While you might feel that friendship with your romantically beloved one is inferior to actual mutual love with that very same person it doesn't mean that a romantic relationship with any person is superior to friendship with any other. I've also never felt as if the returns were "immensely greater" with romantic love. And I've had _some_ beautiful relationships! Sorry for my English, it's not my mother tongue. I hope you got my point.

@Rafaela-lt2pg 6 лет назад

i agree completely. it is put as if love should only be agressive, while friendships never have fallbacks. all human relations have their issues, this video was way too unrealistic.

@jueshihuanggua3162 6 лет назад

Depends how much you value exclusivity. If you don't think it's essential, then Romantic love could feel too in your face, too restrictive and takes away too much personal space. Friendship is way more flexible and no less deep.

@Manpacxs 6 лет назад

I'm best friends with my ex girlfriend, and I can say that our relationship is way better now than before.

@malachi9821 6 лет назад

still dating?

@Manpacxs 6 лет назад

Red Maw no.

@ReubMann 2 года назад

still best friends?

@Manpacxs 2 года назад

@@ReubMann yup.

@dodibenabba525 11 месяцев назад

Bit simpy

@plotoyadnaya_rossiyanka 10 месяцев назад

It would be nice to stay friends with most people we are attracted to, but let’s be honest, they propose it not to actually become your friend, but to reject you in the most polite way. Usually “let’s remain just good friends” doesn’t mean they really want to remain your friend - they never were your friend and never were interested in you platonically, they just hoped for the romantic connection that didn’t appear - it almost always means “I don’t want to be your partner, but total rejection would be too harsh, so I’ll pretend I’m at least interested in your personality in hopes that it doesn’t hurt you as much”. I’m saying this without even a drop of bitterness, I’ve been on both rejected and rejecting sides, so I’m just speaking from experience. It’s better to not invest your time and effort into this type of one-sided friendship, but to find yourself actual friends instead.

@Scerttle 6 лет назад

There have been a number of times where I was in a relationship with someone and in retrospect wish it was "just" a friendship, because they were genuinely wonderful people that I wish I could keep the friendship with after it ended.

@Heligany 4 года назад

Every serious relatinship I have had has included them saying something like "I could see us staying friends if we ever split up"... and its not impossible to do.

@Lucid5630 3 года назад

@@Heligany I wish I never got into a relationship, but I love this girl so much that I'll do it agajn

@Lucid5630 3 года назад

*again

@kimberlyhartman4865 6 лет назад

The info here is incomplete. It knocked down love and put friendship on the same pedestal neither one should have. There are four loves, all of which are necessary, all of which we can do well or badly. Eros, or sexual love is currently the only “love” our culture recognizes as such. And if sexual desire is *all* you base a relationship on, of course its rejection feels like the end of the world, and it’s continuation is going to go sour. You *must* have the others to succeed. Friendship is crucial, but it too can go sour, causing cliques, resentment, and bitterness. Family affection is also important. See how someone treats their own family, and you’ll know how they will end up treating everyone else. The final and hardest is agape, the self-sacrificing love that puts the other’s needs ahead of your own. In times of stress or sickness or hurt, you have to be able to learn how to do that. Do you see now why Eros can’t ever be enough, and that Friendship can’t simply take its place on the pedestal?

@muppetallica 6 лет назад

Kimberly Hartman Beautifully put.

@michaelnuccio146 6 лет назад

" Family affection is also important. See how someone treats their own family, and you’ll know how they will end up treating everyone else." lol "the info here is incomplete", huh. hey kimberly, why are we listening to you on the "four types of love"?

@Vincentivize 6 лет назад

This video infers that being friend-zoned is a good thing because it means your love for that person will be “better” and less volatile as a friend than a lover. So would you say that being friend-zoned basically just cuts out the chance for sexual love, which can hold back a relationship from going further, but at the same time adding a sexual component helps the couple find out if the other loves are truly there.

@joelhc9703 4 года назад

Brilliant.

@jeanpaul145 3 года назад

"See how someone treats their own family, and you’ll know how they will end up treating everyone else." You're wrong. There are plenty of people with fucked up relationships with their entire families. And guess what: since those issues started when they were kids, it's not their fault at all. Still doesn't mean they'd treat those family members nicely.

@simini1837 6 лет назад

If you are in love with someone, being in the friend zone is awful because you want to share your life with this person, have sex etc. But on another level i agree with the message of this video: I avoid jumping into bed with new male friends because it can ruin the friendship and a life long friendship is more important than some sexual pleasure. Another life lesson that might be extracted from this video is that lovers come and go but friends hopefully stay around: don’t neglect your friends when you are in a relationship.

@nathansharp5743 5 лет назад

The thing is you want to make sure first that you're romantically compatible.

@Yusa_Beach 21 день назад

@@nathansharp5743 Going by lust first instead of logic isn't a great idea for wanting a long term relationship, that's how you get played and emotionally manipulated. You need to have a foundation of friendship first to have a more safe way of defining your feelings for something long term. (Not that you can't do it the other way, but it is very dangerous doing so, because you're being irrational, and giving all this trust to someone, because you're lusting after them than seeing them for who they are.

@suzannescorner199 6 лет назад

I found this video utterly charming. However I believe that if one wants romantic love, settling for friendship is downplaying oneself. Leave. Don't go to a restaurant who serves you potatoes when you asked for fries.

@abdulmujeebquick4452 5 лет назад

Sneaky Suzanne That’s is perfectly put. Well said.

@lorymaypel 4 года назад

But potatoes are healthier

@ronjieboy3483 4 года назад

@@lorymaypel good point

@amandac3362 4 года назад

Sneaky Suzanne well said

@destroythesoul 4 года назад

What if you want romantic love with someone who you also consider to be a dear friend? Personally, I value their existence in my life more than a possible romantic relationship. I still love them, but I know that in order to have them in my life and be happy I have to accept that we will just be happy as friends.

@animeshpathak3921 5 лет назад

Well if my lover is loving someone else while i am just her friend then in that case i would leave her . there is thing called self respect and i need it for my survival .

@ghost-gi9er 3 месяца назад

If you’re just her friend then she is not your lover.

@Daniel-xp1jy 6 лет назад

If she says she wants be "just friends" after you've taken her out and all that nah bih you gotta pay gas money cause we friends now.

@brittanyr1456 5 лет назад

Daniel 😂 you stupid

@cerebrodelictivocarclubps4309 5 лет назад

I just did that. Last night I took my crush to a expensive but not fancy restraunt, so we sat down and looked at the menu. We laughed, shared thoughts like always and hinting me that I'm nothing more than a friend. So I calle the waiter and told him to split up the order becuase she was going to pay the drinks and her reaction was a bit funny, I did not told her anything about it. So later on we went to a bar (Drinks were on me this time). She wanted to go home, so I asked for a uber, we went home but she payed again. (Maybe I should have not went with her home, but I was the one who invited her so I had to accompany her. We watched movies and then she took me to her room and shared secrets, and childhood memories. That quite did make me feel vulnerable and once I left her house she kindly told to let her know I got home safe (Something she really never said to me once). It felt weird but not awkward hanging out with her with different intentions becuase I still have these strong feelings for her but she's about to leave town anyway, I just want to make the most of it and not have bitter memories of her before she leaves, but now I face the truth I'll never get intimate with her and she wouldn't give me more than a kiss.

@dustinarroyo8005 5 лет назад

Jajaziel8amtz lol fuck dude

@phoenixfox1878 4 года назад

To love is to give freely. To treat a person well freely without expecting anything in return is the action of love. The point is to be a whole not a half and If you watched the video it's also a tip to actually be a better person to your lover. She could have tried and didn't really liked you. Check up on yourself , and stop being co dependent. You're already counting beans that's very unhealthy. That's in the category of toxic relationships.

@cynthiajosiej1833 3 года назад

@James Cunico There will be girl who will like you and take similar efforts just like how you took efforts for the one whom you liked. Unfortunately, you won't notice that girl because your eyes will be blinded because of the "love" you have for other girl. 😂 Story of life. Nothing new under the sky 😂

@joycejnn 5 лет назад

There is always one of the couple who wants and keeps on hoping for more

@karenkatd 2 года назад

A long distance friend and I like each other, but we decided that it's better for us to stay friends because we value our friendship too much to compromise it with trying to be more than friends. It hurt like hell for a bit but I'm glad that's what we decided on. We'll be going to the same college in two months so if we were meant to be more than friends, it'll naturally progress, but I'm happy to be just friends too if it doesn't work out.

@NoName-ny1bt 4 года назад

I wish I hadn’t fallen in love with my best friend. Now I have lost a lover and a best friend. A mistake that I’ve repeated few too many times

@Harish-ry2qb 3 года назад

same :/

@edwardjonesjonesfleming5595 3 года назад

Did that twice... however mental health was the reason for it...

@PrakharTalksSports 3 года назад

Hey NoName I feel you

@MultiPAVEL86 6 лет назад

Except "Let's just stay friends" has nothing to do with friendship most of the times. You're setting yourself for an even bigger embarrassment if you interpret this as a call to actually unironically be friends.

@MrExPloSi0N 6 лет назад

Very true... in most cases people just say that to make you feel better. I'd also say that most people don't really know the definition of the word 'friend' and classify anything that doesn't involve sex as friendship.

@alibabarouge 6 лет назад

MultiPAVEL86 THANK YOU! Hey everybody please listen!

@DISTurbedwaffle918 6 лет назад

Margaux he means *SHE DOESN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU*

@aspalathos8499 6 лет назад

I agree. I think in this video they wanted to say how friendship is equally important as romantic relationship. They wanted to say that friendship is overlooked and made less than romantic relationship.

@DISTurbedwaffle918 6 лет назад

aspalathos friendship is important, but trying to compare it in the context of romance and intersex relations is pretty foolish.

@tylerxking186 4 года назад

Being friends is a lot better than being in Love relationship , No jealousy, No drama, No Heartbreak, Being just friends is less risky, and more Fun✌🏻

@SayItAintTso 3 года назад

Recovering hopeless romantic here. Love has caused me so much pain, and I relate to this video so much. But ever since mentally accepting the friendship of someone I used to have feelings for, and seeking love in its more casual and platonic forms, I’ve been so much happier. At first it felt like some kind of hedonistic sacrilege to give up my romantic idealisms and try to pursue casual sex instead of love, or like shallow self-degradation to talk to many people at once instead of cultivating close connections, but it ended up being the exact thing I needed. Not to say I’ve given up on romance, but I’ve found that loving specific people more casually, and refusing to project my self-worth onto them, has made me a better lover of the world instead. :)

@paramdeeps5949 3 года назад

#loveroftheworld 👌👆

@Joshualacruz 6 лет назад

Hehe, I am dealing with this a bit. The possibility of love scares me, because it means the possibility of losing a friend. It also means those simple emotions one can have with friends could become so confusing when they become lovers... _"I am sorry, could we just be lovers?"_ What a fresh and kinda relieving way to put it. 😊

@waterbender19 6 лет назад

I love this. Recently been struggling with this and realized I feel most happy and loved when I have tons of people to turn to, a big community of people that I care about that care about me. Love is awesome, but friendship is so important too. Great message.

@Daclaem 6 лет назад

just say no to friend zone.If you say it politly and with a smile , it's even better.

@ghost-gi9er 3 месяца назад

I value friendships very highly. We trust each other. We can talk about anything. My best friends are the only ones I don’t mind touching my shoulder or holding my important items. We grew close over many years with no expectations but only the enjoyment of being together. To me that feels much more authentic than asking or being asked to date.

@Lilyium 3 года назад

Finding a good and true friend is like going through a warzone. Especially one of the opposite sex. It takes many tough battles and hardships before you can reach the end. I've noticed that I've met many guys who I just want to be friends with, but they always have other intentions, hence why I always lose them along the way, vice versa if I also get attracted to them, but the ones who stayed, the ones who fought the front lines with me and survived until the end without ever crossing the line, they're the friends who came out victorious.

@mario-off-topic 6 лет назад

Friendships develop and are not something to agree on.

@NeverMind353 6 лет назад

The women I desire I obsess about. Therefore I can't mentally manage to shut down my desire completely, and every small rejection, may it be holding a hand, a small kiss, or a flirt attempt comes with a bitter aftertaste. To remain in that state is to suffer and I have decided I will no longer let myself down to be there for her, while I remain an afterthought. Eventually I suffer even more once she starts dating someone else. My advice is, have some self-respect and draw the line if she rejects you. You will (yes, will!) find someome else who values you as much as you value her/him.

@lavish_1717 5 лет назад

Limbis I completely agree. I can't be friends with someone who rejects me or I've rejected because that painfully awkward.

@hakimdiwan5101 2 года назад

I apologise I know it's cringe to reply 4 years old comment, but this is a true gem and unfortunately way more down in comments. Many people need to read this. I live by this quote - "Don't love your friend, don't become friend of your love".

@ghost-gi9er 3 месяца назад

That sounds unhealthy, I’d advise not befriending them at all if you can’t draw the line at being friends without feeling so hurt.

@thatguy5005 5 лет назад

First video I watched was how to actively listen and now I'm up to my 6tg video I'm not lying this channel has clearly and shortly explained some/most of the mishaps and holes in my life. Thank you The School Of Life‼️

@qualitycontentplease6428 2 года назад

she says she only wants to be friends +1 friend

@MaryArts 6 лет назад

A sad think my boyfriend said to me was: "No guy ever becomes friend with a girl without thinking to be in a relationship with her or at least have sex with her." That made me sad, because it means that they don't stay with me because I am a good person to talk too. But he continued: "But eventually when both of them get along for years, they can just be friends." I know many guys who have best girlfriends. They told me they had sexual thoughts at first, but now they concider them as best buddys because they are so clever, funny and never acting like a girlfriend.

@taurus7911 6 лет назад

Big Green lmao do u think he’s gonna leave her... idk why he’d tell you that honey

@dustinarroyo8005 5 лет назад

MaryArts sorry but this is mostly true

@anneb889 5 лет назад

Men don’t look at women as friends. They have guy friends to joke with, watch the game, grab a drink. The only reason, esp younger men would be friends with a girl is bc they would like to date her. That’s the problem with the “friend zone” the males are not being up front from the start. Men and women can be friendly at school or work, superficial non sexual friendships....but as When Harry Met Sally taught us, men and women usually cannot be friends. Women think they can, but the men don’t see them as friends.

@jimjimmy8900 5 лет назад

@@anneb889 I'm starting to doubt you've ever talked to another person before

@santalonso1 4 года назад

Not true at all... even less true as you grow up and old. I have several friends that I’d never wanted to sleep with.

@COAKY 6 лет назад

Irrational beliefs entrenched in undeserved expectation which are fueled by any number of “should,” “must,” and “ought” statements may lead to the highly emotive result of what we often perceive as rejection. It isn’t an easy outcome for many people, especially those who subscribe to societal indoctrination concerning the dreadful “friend zone.” I find videos such as this to be useful in reminding me how valuable friendship is and how difficult romantic relationships often are. Thanks for the reminder.

@melbygosling890 3 года назад

The most flattering thing my husband has ever said to me is,"You are my best friend!"

@ariel5341 5 лет назад

FROM MY EXPERIENCE (obviously not for everyone), friendship has been better, longer lasting, and more fulfilling to me than romantic love has. I have a few friends from the past who have caused me pain, but that's nothing compared to the pain past lovers have caused me. I am at a point in life where I definitely prefer friendship.

@Amy-zb6ph 6 лет назад

Yep. If I've let you in as a friend, you have gotten closer to me than most lovers I've had and our relationship will certainly last longer. I'm almost at the point where I feel like romanticism isn't worthwhile, especially when compared to friendship.

@mgtow-extraits 6 лет назад

Amy > and i’m at the point where i feel like romanticism isn’t wothwhile, especially when compared to sex.

@net_lag 6 лет назад

If I could friend zone a couple of girls, I would.... sadly only they've friend zoned me...

@michaelnuccio146 6 лет назад

hi Nord, are you as equally loud about your antisemitism in real life?

@Dank_Hill 6 лет назад

You get to know someone for a longer time when it’s friendship.

@ededdynedd 6 лет назад

you can have both. You just need to re-evaluate your priorities and values in what you look for in a person. Seems your values are changing and you're realizing that, which is a great first step. (beware: get rid of the idealization of a person in your mind. doesn't exist, and no one will ever measure up. Best thing about us is none of us are perfect.) hope that helps.

@jakejakeboom 6 лет назад

God this comment section is pathetic and full of immature angst. No, being let down by a man or woman you were interested in physically never feels good. But don't complain or wallow in self pity, life's too short. Move on. It's called being an adult.

@sydandtaytum 6 лет назад

?? why do u cut off ties with someone just cause they felt they arent right fit with you romantically? if u truly cared about the person, y would u never want to see them again? get over your ego.

@cchangsterful 5 лет назад

FUCKING THANK YOU, so many of these comments border on sociopathic unrequited love is part of life. its hard but quit whining about how unfair it is. go write a goddamn poem or something jfc nobody owes you romantic love.

@justonetime6179 4 года назад

I Control My Fate just hope you don’t get rejected a lot, cause you’d have to cut off A LOT of ties 🤷‍♀️

@nikchelseafan8556 4 года назад

@@StormhawkJuzo if I wanna end a friendship, I will

@SonicBadass 4 года назад

@@sydandtaytum You can't ties with them because it hurts you to see them with other people plus you can't get over someone if your around. It's not that they care about you but they also have to do what's best for themselves.

@retepnosbig4859 4 года назад

physical desire fades in time...at the end of that needs to be a great friendship that lasts a lifetime. that is true love...

@prjdghyt 3 года назад

I'm in love with a guy. He liked me. When I admitted I like him too, he said he doesn't like me as much as I like him. He values our friendship and doesn't want to lose me. I said I needed time away. We didn't talk for a few months. He never reached out. I never reached out. I talked to him again by greeting him on his birthday. I didn't spend as much time talking to him like I did before. I continued flirting with other men. I tried making him jealous. He never was. 😂 We're both single. Sometimes we playfully flirt with each other. I realize it's better because we don't ever have to break up. He always makes time for me no matter how busy he is when he knows I'm sad. He cheers me up. I ask his opinion on things because I value his intelligence. I do trust him with my whole heart. He's the man who taught me what it feels like to be respected. I always miss the old times when he still liked me. I normally would just cut guys off if they are not the one for me. But with him, I accepted that I'll never be more than a friend and that's ok because I really value him too. I'm so glad to be his friend. And yes, I still love him and somehow deep in the very bottom of my heart, I still secretly wish, he feels the same way too. ❤ To: my Soulard From: your PriPri (Yes we have pet names for each other! 😉)

@jukes4499 5 лет назад

I recently developed feelings for one of my best friends and she didn't feel the same. But she explained most of what's in this video. Seeing it again kind of confirmed it for me and makes me happy that we are just best friends.

@jc51473 6 лет назад

Thank you for this 🤗 I have thought this for a long time. "Just friends" discredits and devalues your friendships! Xx

@ZombieDragQueen 6 лет назад

Another advantage: blue balls. They accessorise great with many colour combinations.

@Phronesis7 5 лет назад

Thank you for this! This put a huge peaceful smile on my face because this is exactly where I am. Only interested in creating good, solid friendships! It's so reassuring to know you're on exactly the right path to fulfilling relationships!

@timmy101able 3 года назад

Having gone through so many rejections in my life.. I use to feel worthless.. but I continued to work on myself rather than work on any unbalanced relationship I may have settled into .. Now I m such a different person than I use to be and way better off than my peers I use to envy.. girls desire me and I literally have to be careful around them Bc they fall in love. Work on yourselves guys!!

@adamsmith3413 3 года назад

A former girl friend told me that after a on again off again relationship that lasted 8 years. We stayed in touch but We both went on to find other partners- I danced with her at her wedding. We have both been happily married for 30 years. We remain friends after 40 years.

@Lymphaofallcolours 5 лет назад

Dear School of Life. You are a gift for humanity. We need more. Way more of what you give us here on RU-vid. On the media. On the news. On the cardboard of our breakfast cereal. Thank you for providing always with a mildly painful but effective cure to an appalingly hurtful issue. Once again, you brilliantly hit a point that remains so elusive to some of us. Huge thanks from someone who today can breathe a little more relieved.

@johnbehneman1546 2 года назад

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I AM GRATEFUL AND THANKFUL FOR ALL THE FRIENDS IN MY LIFE!!!! I ENJOY SPENDING TIME WITH YOU!!!! YOU GUYS ARE TOTALLY AWSOME!!!! I AM SO BLESSED TO ENJOY THIS JOURNEY OF LIFE WITH YOU!!!

@crazyfreak 6 лет назад

Yes, thank you. I've learnt so much from you all and i want you to know i appreciate that very much. You make people so much easier to understand and have helped me realize that things are often better than they look.

@jesseishere9959 6 лет назад

Fantastic video. I like how The School of life gets down the most best issues and analyses them.

@spicymango92 5 лет назад

This video came out at just the right time for me several months ago. And its message has resonated with me, still trying to get over that relationship today. Thank you so much for this video, School of Life :)

@KJmusic97 6 лет назад

What you mention in friendship is what I expect especially in a relationship. I mean, how could you possibly love without appreciating the darkest and most obscure aspects of another person? How can a relationship possibly be worthwhile if two people don't interact kindly, patiently, encouragingly towards each other?

@Yusa_Beach 21 день назад

It CAN'T that's why, but people are too stupid to think about that. They believe that sex comes first when it comes to romance rather than being exclusive Best Friends with one another for a foundation. That's why so many relationships fail, because they put their feelings of lust first when deciding weither someone is relationship material or not rather than actual traits that someone has that would make them a good partner. You can't have Romance without respect, otherwise it's just a sexual relationship. People don't seem to think this through or think at all.

@adk346 6 лет назад

True from my experiences. Every time I tried a relationship it broke and I never saw the other person again. Now, I don't seek for partners, I don't flirt, I have a lot of manly friends and they do not disappoint me.

@MaryArts 6 лет назад

For me, I can't fall in love with a person who doesn't love me back. I can feel it when we spend more and more time together my feelings for them grow as much as their feelings grow for me. If their feelings for me don't grow, I notice it, and that is like turning me off, and I won't fall in love. So I don't understand how you can say "I love you" to someone you definitelly know they won't love you back.

@mdaria772 6 лет назад

MaryArts you loved,but you've never fallen in love, then

@MaryArts 6 лет назад

M Daria ? I just fell in love with someone who loved me too. It was also hard for me to confess to them ^^" it took 3 months, those months were pretty hurtful, even though I know he loves me back

@chrystalbriceno3699 3 года назад

Love comes in many forms. You can have a friend and love them, the trick is both people are on the same page about expectations.

@karatrott7497 6 лет назад

this has shown me how to appreciate/heal my recent friendship with the "one that got away" - hes found his life partner and I havent. Ive had such a hard time dealing with this. but I realize from this perspective, I feel the first sign of possible relief.

@user-zx3oj1rr9f 4 года назад

Interesting perspective, I totally agree with the beauty of being just friends and continue to count on each other. Friends make life worth and help us in difficult times just being there to listen and moral support.

@monicaslv323 4 года назад

I don't know why we are so mean to those we love the most.

@acumenfinito 4 года назад

Annnddd this is why it can be so ideal when a long term friendship blossoms into something more 🌷

@lordelaurel6734 3 года назад

This is my favorite video of this channel, helped me to change my perspective about love and friendship. Since then, I just enjoy having good friends.

@zhamilyakussainova3038 6 лет назад

Just reconciled with my once best friend. We have known each other for 7 years and then fought over some stuff that now doesn’t really matter. And for 1,5 year we both suffered enormously but were to proud to text or call to each other. And now, when we are back to our great friendship, these Alan’s words truly resonate with me. I am my best self with my friend, I am the most sincere, kind, fair versions of myself with him. Unlike in relationships with guys that I like, I am not trying to impress him or do something to look better in his eyes. And he truly accepts my worst parts, admires my best parts and so do I in return.

@Lucid5630 3 года назад

You don't have to impress your partner though

@suntzu4193 6 лет назад

I agree so much with you. Modern love relationships are generally only "sensual" ones. However, to my mind, it's kinda weird. People sometimes talk about "friendzone" concept, but what is the issue ? It's true that you can't love someone you just considered as a friend, but how can you have a true love relationship without friendship ? The longest and most stable relationship are between people who talk to each others, share things and who could be considered as best friends. To my mind, that is the secret of "true love".

@coldasifneveraskedthemoon7401 9 месяцев назад

Literally. I always think love doesn't last forever and the people I love are worthyer than that❤️

@sadhabithapa9818 6 лет назад

I've had this same question for a while and reached very similar conclusions as mentioned by School of Life. Watching this video feels like it validates my thoughts.

@TheSilverwolf97 4 года назад

This only works if the supposition of being friends and lovers are separated and are not related. As a mate before said, if your lover isn't your best friend you are in the wrong relationship. Being lovers is a step up of being friends, with all the advantages of the latter and even more. We sometimes hurt the ones we love because we are more exposed and reveal more of ourselves to them than others, meaning we are more ourselves with our partner than with regular or even best friends.

@ewilloch 4 года назад

Being friendzoned is so painful that I‘ve stopped looking for love. Maybe I don‘t deserve love, but that doesn‘t mean I‘m obliged to suffer by trying. I‘ve suffered a lot less after ending the search for love, and I‘m free from the illusion of love. No dreams, no hope, no expectations and no pain.