The Basics of Self-Differentiation

Подписаться 134 тыс.

Просмотров 29 тыс.

50% 1

HERE'S HOW I CAN HELP YOU👇🏼
🆓 [RECOMMENDED] Access my free training ‘Build the true self you were never allowed to have’- jerrywise.eweb...
🔥🔥🔥 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their life!- www.jerrywiser...
🔥🔥🔥 Coaching packages- www.jerrywiser...
➡️ RECOMMENDED PLAYLISTS:
** Break Free from Narcissistic Parents & Families- • Break Free from Narcis...
** Escape family roles (Scapegoat, hero, golden child, black sheep)- • Escape Family Roles: S...
** Overcome Toxic Guilt & Shame - • Overcome Toxic Guilt &...
** Going No/Low Contact with Narcissistic Family- • Going No-Contact with ...
** Build Your True Self- • Self-Differentiation: ...
🌐 More free resources available on my website:
www.jerrywiser...
➡️ FOLLOW ME:
Instagram: / jerrytwise
Facebook: / jerrytwise
Twitter: / jerrytwise
Spotify: open.spotify.c...
Jerry Wise, MA, MS, CLC, has helped 10,000s of people heal from family dysfunction and become the true self they were never allowed to be. As a family systems and self-differentiation coach, he leverages 45 years of experience to help clients permanently break free from family-of-origin dysfunction, cultivate healthy relationships, and build a strong sense of self.
***DISCLAIMER: THIS VIDEO IS NOT INTENDED TO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING. BE SURE TO CONSULT A PROFESSIONAL TO HELP YOU INTEGRATE AND UTILIZE THESE CONCEPTS.***

Опубликовано:

9 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 49

@jerrywise Год назад

Finally get your family OUT OF YOU & be the true self you were never allowed to be 👇 Access my free training - jerrywise.ewebinar.com/webinar/free-training-10027 ‘Road to Self’ Program: Join 10,000+ people who have transformed their lives! www.jerrywiserelationshipsystems.com/road-to-self

@tiffanierrodas-zc9et 9 месяцев назад

Does anyone else have arguments with family members or people that they are interacting with on a daily basis, in the shower, and these people are not even there? This is definitely the family of origin inside us coming out.

@Mantras-and-Mystics 8 месяцев назад

Oh absolutely! Until just recently I would spend my days arguing with people over something that never happened, but it already HAD happened in my mind. What's not good about this is the emotions are still the same, and the body's responses are still the same. So no peace for the nervous system at all. 😕 I finally realised I was doing this to myself and try to remain conscious of how I'm thinking. If it starts I now nip it in the bud.

@chewyjello1 5 лет назад

I love how you explain things! I started therapy about a year ago and my therapist never explained to me what we were doing or what her methods were. When I would try to ask, she would turn it around on me and say she has noticed that I don't like to just let things unfold, I always want a plan or I'm always trying to anticipate things that can't be anticipated. No, gosh darn it! If I'm going to put my trust in a therapist and give them a good bit of my money, I want to know something about the process! I don't want to just go in everyday and talk about how things have been and then leave. Sigh.

@birdytvcertified 3 года назад

I agree I’d be pissed too

@laurajane4806 2 года назад

It's said that most therapy is useless when it comes to personality disorders. Most people can't relate and think it's just your perception. It's as though if you've not lived it, you can't comprehend it.

@eminemilly 2 года назад

@@laurajane4806 was this video about personality disorders. About to watch.. what helps personality disorders then. Thanjs

@suzanaweidinger1561 7 лет назад

I am learning so much from you Jerry and you have such an amazing way of explaining difficult concepts in an easily understandable way.

@irisbloom5620 6 лет назад

Absolutely so. Thank you Jerry. I am blown away by your clarity. It is as if when one has dealt with one´ s issues long enough, really worked on oneself, then listening to you, Jerry, it is as if all the pieces come together at once. Because you have walked your talk, you have it all cpnnected in your brain, and that enables me, and others to get connected in their brains as well. Amazing! Thank you Jerry.

@Kains_whored 4 месяца назад

Am I the only one with a clipboard and paper legit taking notes on every video he posts

@jerrywise 4 месяца назад

❤️

@jimmysroom5132 2 года назад

You can't always stay attached and interact. Sometimes the problem is severe enough where cutting off is the only solution.

@jerrywise 2 года назад

True, sometimes the ‘emotional inflammation’ is too intense and some distance can allow it to calm down and hopefully allow some space to deal with it better. Cutting off tho does not mean healing. The goal is not to get ourselves out of the family but to get the family out of us.

@jimmysroom5132 2 года назад

@@jerrywise not with malignant narcissism but I find value in your videos.

@virginiasmith5278 6 лет назад

Mr. Weiss, Your videos are so enlightening, clear, make understandable what is and was so confusing to me in years of therapy no therapist "got" this, hence no therapist "got" me, and I was unable to get help. You are a clear, truly helpful voice in the darkness. Thank you

@monikamaszkowska1186 5 лет назад

Thank you for your generous offering Jerry. When we heal ourselves we heal the world. You are such a gem. Glad to have stumbled upon your work.

@monaj33 9 месяцев назад

6 years of amazing advice..thank you God Bless 🙌 🙏 ❤

@maram0796 4 года назад

Hi Mr Wise, I really appreciate your content. I was inspired by many of your videos and I mentioned you in my podcast Self Evolution Regardless because the information you provide is really enlightning. Thank you so much for posting these videos and for giving us a chance to know what narcissistic abuse and what the self are about.

@kidsmoked 6 лет назад

I’m so glad you’ve lost all that weight. It’s awful to hear how breathless are. You look great!

@Lisarata 6 лет назад

Thank you. You're helping find out what 'Self' feels like and how it works in me. The problem I thought I had is a system-thought and it looks different from a self-defined stance. It's more useful.

@tbd5082 5 лет назад

I used to think I didn’t matter.

@wordswordswords.5422 4 года назад

Here's what I don't understand though. How can you have a healthy self differentiated relationship with family if they are crazy? my sister is a narc, my brother and father emotionally and physically abusive and my mom extremely dependent and passive aggressive. Does this apply to relating to people with severe personality problems? I just can't see myself doing this with them. I have no illusions about them, in fact, if I weren't taking care of my elderly mother I would have nothing to do with any of them because they refuse to acknowledge me as a person or treat me with respect. Jerry or anyone if you see this could you speak to it? thank you.

@jerrywise 4 года назад

You can have a healthy self differentiated life with crazy family members, however, some have to go no contact with the crazier and more abusive family members Even if we go "no contact" that does not mean we have self differentiated from our family, we should not confuse the two thanks words, words, words

@wordswordswords.5422 4 года назад

@@jerrywise Thank you for replying, Jerry. That's very interesting, especially the part about not necessarily being differentiated even if we go no contact. This stuff is pretty deep. Thank you for guiding me and so many people through this. I have not found a counsellor in my area who is anywhere near as good as you. Very grateful for your videos!

@gregrhodes2171 2 года назад

It's good I'm finding out this stuff from you. There's a lots stuff out there that's toxic.

@tjasagustin3342 2 месяца назад

Selfesteem, suffocated emotions during kids ages, etc. Lack of all that is necessary to heal as afdults.

@pegfisher2023 5 лет назад

Hello! Wonderful work! Thank you for sharing your wisdom! You will never know the good that you are doing! I was wondering if the mobile that you used for this lesson is available for purchase? I would love to have this visual reminder of family systems. Thank you!!

@smartcatcollarproject5699 5 лет назад

Imagine a woman who at first didn't want any kid. Life is life, she meets a man, kids come, she wants to please her husband, but it's not her choice to have those babies, and she resents them as obstacles to her career... not 100% sane, I know. Later she may even be jealous at the idea to see them succeed... Even if the kids disconnect from that family, some of those "strings" are still there, in the unconscious, maybe complexes, how do you handle that ! Is it even possible to change your deep feeling toward social status, career, when your whole world is involved in this multigenerational situation (the mother didn't make all this mess alone, her own family and world was involved in her own mindset) ? Can you change your "karma" ?

@tbd5082 5 лет назад

Smart Cat Collar Project That is the human condition dilemma isn’t it? You see the situation. What are you going to do about it. Red pill or blue pill? Hugs!

@daletinafloyd8284 6 лет назад

Wonderful information. Thank you.

@steveirwin9563 6 лет назад

Thank you very much for this!

@PHDinMeTV 6 лет назад

Great 👍🏿 info. Thanks for sharing！

@kimwolbaum4315 6 лет назад

Amazing work you are doing! Thank you for sharing your knowledge to help other:)

@egeyermusic 9 месяцев назад

So clear and helpful. Jerry thank you.

@jerrywise 9 месяцев назад

You are very welcome

@JennaRyanShow 6 лет назад

Great and helpful advice

@bethtucker5275 6 лет назад

Maybe some of us just cant find that balance. Seems easier to remain cut off.

@virginiasmith5278 6 лет назад

beth tucker My 2 daughters just cut me off and I miss them terribly, I am sad we can't share our lives. I feel as though I am in mourning. This is not a healthy, long term solution. I like Mr. Wises' ideas workable solutions on this.

@tbd5082 5 лет назад

Anyone that defines themselves by reacting against others to define who they are as a self.

@yourenough3 6 лет назад

Great and insightful video. Thank you!

@DeeDee-zo7rv 5 лет назад

Not related to the video but you’ve lost a lot of weight since this video. You look great! Also love your videos. Very helpful!

@smmn722 4 года назад

I loved the art piece 😃🙏🏻💚

@shipratrika2586 6 лет назад

So you are saying not to disconnect with narcissistic family, mom, sister and flying monkeys? If we do, it’s not self differentiation.

@jerrywise 6 лет назад

I would suggest a reading of Jenny Brown's book Growing Yourself Up

@shipratrika2586 6 лет назад

Jerry Wise Relationship Systems ok thanks! Will do

@outofthegoldfishbowletcete762 6 лет назад

Shipra Trika I think you need to understand why you disconnected. I disconnected from those proplr including one family member permanently (step mother ten years ago) and one temporarily (sister. 10 months). The reason was the same this person showed that they did not respect me and my feelings. No one can really tell you whether to cut off or not. Some people can show that they are not invested in my well-being and a healthy relationship (strpmother). The other realised that her days if bullying were iver and was prepared to shoe that she dies care (susyer). For the avoidance if going my stepmother had some care and control of me from when I was 7. So thus wasn't an every other weekend stepmother... Once yoyre string rnough in yourself you can decide what to go. For me no contact was the ONLY way I could get strong enough...

@umchinagirard1800 4 года назад

Togetherness and being yourself in a scapegoating narcissistic family everyone is higher functioning and connected when the symptom bearer scapegoat identified patient is kept firmly in their lower functioning lower status limited role the Mobil with strings is kept stable by the group scapegoating the symptom bearer. What can the family scapegoat do if they have had Bowen family therapy has shown up in short respectful family get togetherness but continues to be manipulated slighted lorded over how does a scapegoat change the power imbalance to change the roles? Is their a solution please for the Family Scapegoat Jerry Wise to treat the intractable family Scapegoating system? The investment to hope the family scapegoat system an illusion? Can’t change them how is it safe for taking me and family to visit family... ? Golden child is abusive and gaslighting immediately with whole extended enablers and flying monkeys allhigher functioning intelligence and professional status. Is challenging situation

@laurajane4806 2 года назад

I feel your pain. There is no changing the power imbalance. If you are the scapegoat, you will always be the scapegoat. If you became a millionaire, it would be because somebody helped you. If you make the Dean's list, well everybody makes that. If you buy a nicer car than they have, you're showing off. They need you to make themselves feel better. They live in a lie, and they keep many secrets. They are unhealthy and empty, so matter how much status they gain, they can never feel love, and therefore cannot give love. However, if you are the scapegoat, it's because you possess the traits that they must extend exhausting effort pretending to have. You are the scapegoat because they envy your natural inner beauty. At the core, they are jealous of you. If they make you uncomfortable, don't go. Go no contact and heal yourself.