My wife is a INFP and we match perfectly. I think that usually INFJs and INFPs work well together in a relationship. I couldn’t be happier with my INFP wife ❤
That's interesting.. I have a misalignment with my INFP, as Fi naturally tends to be avoidant and want it's space and not communicate, and my Fe tends to be anxious and need reassurance. So it always ends up in me needing communication, yet her avoiding communication.
It can be an effective way to search I can imagine. If somewhere would happen to my gf, I'd definitely look for the same type again! I've always liked the traits associated with her type in women, so it's easy to know it has a name. I used to investigate people's personality before mbti too, but if you search for high compatibility it can be really be quite time consuming if the only option is to scan on a case by case basis. It's like knowing you're straight and a guy and thus the most effective way to search is at least looking in the category of straight women rather than just somehow ending up in a relationship with your male best friend when you're a straight guy too and wondering why the sex is not working. The thing is that I always found that while there are so many people potential partners as there are just many single people in general, only so few actually match without much compromise.. So if you can reduce lets say 1000 options towards a few hundred options, I'd say you are increasing your chance of finding a more natural match. I find people too easily just get into relationships just because they 'like someone'. For example, you could have a crush on someone that is logically just not compatible with you, which could cost you valuable years of your life and needless drama. Sure, you can adapt towards that partner, but how sustainable is that when life will throw problems at you anyway. Is a weak compatibility going to survive that? Maybe it can work when life is in easy mode at that moment. However, life will not always be easy so having to invest time more time in a relationships just because it needs effort in order to work (because of low compatibility) is more likely going to result in failure. If you can just be yourself and someone has a longing for exactly what you give without even trying, then this is the most ideal situation. You can just do your thing and the person loves that has a lack of that. I think this truly is the most ideal situation. However, apart from this approach possibly not sounding super romantic to some, it also does require that you know what you want, what your real type is and how to type accurately in order to make this work of course.
It is not a bad thing. Your friends doing good, by knowing what they don't want & want, and what is the best for them (because they deserve the best) We all search different things in relationship, we all surely have our own compatibilities / preferences, know what correspond to us or not. ex : for me be loved = be understood, so the best for me are the intuitives (at the exception of sensors who learned intuition). It's useless and a waste of time & energy, to be in relationship if we don't feel loved as much than the other is able to give. I personally need the same level of depth, complete understanding and acceptance. Also I don't want to educate/teach another person anymore, it's too much energy/work. It's better for people to first heal themselves, be mature, healthy before to enter in a relationship, to work on themselves first. It's also about our mental health & stress. (I know by advance what types stress & drain me just by hearing them, and knowing their functioning. Sometimes just their presence exhaust me, I absorb energies whether they are good or bad, and it take time to heal/remove all those bad energies collected, and sensory overload) We want to be happy, not to stress (reduce our life expectancy) and keep a good mental health. I need calm/peace 99% of the time. A relationship is supposed to bring only positive things. It's a great thing to be selective & knowing/wanting the best for us, know what we want or not. [A word picture/metaphor/analogy] Certain plants can grow and give flowers/fruits only when put in a specific soil. In the wrong soil, the plant may never grow/flourish, and die. We are the plant, the other person is the soil. (and the reverse)
My feeling on this is that in the past before I knew about MBTI I tended to think people thought similarly to me. I later discovered the hard way that this was far from the truth. It probably is wise to consider type when choosing a partner imo, but best in mind that you may match well with someone that type predicts you shouldn’t. At least it’s better than using astrology 😂
I know it's an unpopular opinion but I'm gonna give a shoutout to ISTJs. I'm INFJ and my wife is ISTJ and we didn't really know much about type/functions until well after we were married. Our relationship is great! My lack of Te and her lack of Fe is our only clash although after some work we now both see it as strengths rather than weaknesses - we basically cover all 8 functions and between us there are no weaknesses :) I think also I have a lot of experience with ISTJs I have 5 other friends/family members who are ISTJ and I'm a fan. Solid reliable people and very stable and trustworthy. You can always count on them to be predictable and never have to wonder if they'll randomly be disloyal or anything of the sort. She really helps me with my Te stuff I have to do like scheduling and lists/paperwork stuff that I hate doing and to her it seems like the easiest thing ever which I find fascinating. I think N types can be great for quick bonding but we can struggle with being present in the real world which we all have to do at the end of the day. When I was alone I went through several periods of being a slob and not really taking care of myself. With my wife I feel motivated to work and do day to day living stuff that I have to do and she does help ground me when I've spent too long with my head in the clouds. She's helped me learn to take care of myself and my body better, eat healthier, exercise, stuff like that. I have also made her more open minded and taught her a lot of stuff about relationships and philosophy/science/music stuff and she is usually interested in everything I have to say. We do strangely make a good match with the caveat that the Fe/Te clash is a big thing that needs to be ironed out to turn it into a strength instead. I also never have to act a certain way around ISTJs. They don't notice or care about little social signals and stuff meaning I can give my Fe a break, learn to stop putting on a damn mask for everyone all the time and just be myself, and she is not demanding enough in an Fi way that it is ever a problem. I basically feel like I don't drain my social battery at all it's interesting I can spend all day talking to my wife and I won't get drained at all like I would talking to most people. I kind of turn into an Ni-Ti person around her which kind of energizes me actually I love Fe but can't do it all day like I don't wanna be around people all day. Example - her mom is INFP and she's great too but I can only manage her Fi/Ne so long before getting exhausted and having to hide in a bedroom or something haha. ISTJs are also quite different from ESTJs - my wife likes a lot of alone time and I do too so neither of us are too needy we can totally just do our own stuff for a few hours a day and neither of us get needy or annoying about it. Basically she is mostly an Si user she loves being comfy and having tea in the bed and stuff like that and is less Te demanding than my least favourite type ESTJs. I've met a couple ESTJs and they are so different from me. No disrespect but ESTJ are wack Idk how anyone lives their life like that. Si doms are very different... Have had way more clashes with ESTJs and they also just don't get stuff like I'll be saying something and they just do not get the point, they don't care, they're kind of stuck in their ways, and I've had a lot of fruitless arguments with them it's just not worth it in my opinion. Maybe it's the Ni blind spot or whatever. I think Si doms also have a large potential to be quite different depending on their experiences so because I've able to show her a more intuitive side of things over the years plus with her INFP mother she has learned to value my intuition and trust me more and she is quite funny and developed her own Ne very well. So I never get that typical "ugh I'm talking to a sensor" feeling. Maybe I got lucky but my other ISTJ friends and family are quite similar actually so Idk give them a chance they're very warm people in their own way and are not stubborn enough to not hear you out. As a long term life partner I think you also gotta think about the reality of living with someone for a long time day in day out, what that will look like, can you do life/house/work stuff until you retire, etc. Maybe it is an unpopular opinion for a reason but I hope someone reads this and gives ISTJs a chance! It's worth it to have a few around at least to help with Te troubles :P
I love entj's- their drive, reliability, dedication to family. I like that their extroverted side gets me out and with others, as long as they respect my need for occasional downtime.
Happy New Year, Ren. Thanks for your insight into possible compatibility types. Like you stated... have an open-mind, when it comes to types. We must remember no type is exactly perfect, but a little compromising may bring positive results.
Thank you for your video. I would appreciate a deeper dive into the ENFP and INTP pairing with INFJ. I also sometimes see ENTP, ENFJ and INFP. I'm still learning how functions work.
Yeah, dude as long as one does not change the other and support each other's weaknesses coz of love that will work, not trying to convert the other to be exactly like you, but gain from tgeir strengths and be interested in their strengths, just enough amount of interest in discovering and taking care of each other, that's golden❤ INFJ are social chameleons we mirror for growth, but partner also needs to fulfill those needs, iften unspoken, we need to learn to communicate them, be securely attached.
When you mentioned telling your wife about your attachment style... My ex husband, an ISTP, would have said "What does that mean? I don't get it...." then fall asleep. Whereas my current parent, an INTP, will get curious and talk psych relationship talk with me, nodding and understanding most of what is coming out of my mouth. I can trust he will take the concepts we are discussing and implement them into his Ti framework to better our relationship as would I. Then there was spending 20 hour drives to and from our hometown to where we were living and we never ever got bored of each other nor did we ever run out of concepts to explore. We laugh so much and he lightens my spirit. Although 2 introverted intuitives is not always the best idea and so we have to consciously and mindfully track how often we get out of our head bubble.
I think being Fe dom or auxiliary can allow many types of partner to work because at least one person in the relationship is highly motivated by the needs of their other half and can tune into it well (ENFJ and INFJ) if there is some Ni in the mix Im INFJ with ENFJ wife and we understand each other well but bring out the best, I encourage her to do her self care and spend time with her friends rather than just attending to our kids and her elderly parents .she augments my social engagement Our shared top 4 functions (with tweaked order) mean SO much in terms of shared values. As i think Ren is saying, the "health" of the respective personality type may be as important as the type itself. We know 4 ISFP women and half of them get on great with their husbands who are very different types.. the other two its a train wreck One thing was also uncanny.. Where Rens mother (ISFP) said on here she would love a field with a Donkey and a goat and Rens dad said "she was looking at apartments the other day!" (Paraphrase) my dad remarked that my ISFP mother wont stop looking at bungalows but wants a "paddock" so she can get a sheep and baby pig !
Yes. I never used to think so, but after being in failed marriage to Sensors twice, I'd say it's paramount for a long-term relationship. At least for me. Sensors might still be passable for casual dating or spontaneous romantic encounters, but I'd not bank on a relationship outside of a MBTI match knowing what I know now. So maybe that cuts down options, but I think I'd rather avoid the acrimony and accusations of mental health issues just because I'm an Intuitive. I get along well with other FJs (though it seems platonic), TJs, and both flavors of FPs (IN & EN). My guess would be an INFP or ENFP woman would be very compatible with me, but they are few and far between...
Real life isn't like that. Mbti community prefers some types to others and makes golden pairs with mostly NT types. NTs always in the spotlight. Some types never have the chance to be discussed about. Take ISFPs for example. No one talks about them. In reality some ISFPs can be great people and golden pairs but in videos like this it's all about INTP and ENFP. These two popular types that mbti community wants as wives and husbands. This is not scientific. This isn't fair. Hope someone questions all of these theories and make a new system where everyone can be seen.
For me as a INFJ, drinking makes me more social. I can speak more easily, laugh more openly, when I do my stare thing it's more in a flirty way. It doesn't make me extra lovey dovey or have sex with random sex w ppl. Even drunk, I seem to still have my mind together.
@@kianafazeli4339 I think Golden pair isn't a good term for the phenomena. The ENFP-INFJ connection is based off of each type seeing themselves - but reversed, - in each other. It's a very comforting feeling and feels like home, but new at the same time. I think your concerned that every type wants an ENFP Wife/Husband and there is no real basis to it. Interestingly enough, if you search the Internet for polls given to ENFPs regarding who they view as their "Golden pair" it's always INFJ and INTJs at the top by quite some margin. There's might not be hard scientific data supporting any of this, but my Ni conclusion is that I think certain types have a higher chance to be happier with each other. Of course you can marry any type and as long as there is an emotional and physical connection you can be happy, it's just the odds of finding someone you connect with are higher by going with a golden pair
I actually can't develop feelings unless someone is an Fi dom Ne aux. I can feel the difference. I work very well with an INFP but for instance both my parents (ISTP Dad with borderline personality disorder and ENFJ mother) were templars and my brother, who I don't get along with is an ESTJ. I feel absolutely deprived of INFP energy. It's just so effortless and if I got with another type, I'd just feel deprived. Even an ENFP wouldn't feel right. I'd always wonder what it would have been like had I held out for that INFP. I know I sound demented. I completely accept that and regularly attempt to poke holes in my own thinking. @@Violet_Odorata
They seem innocent and they are very emotional and genuine. I love the IxxP energy. They're very slow and slothful, not reactive like Si demon, which is very BPD resembling. I like it when they give you their authentic side. @@Violet_Odorata
They're also the third most intelligent type and I just find it easier when I am looking for someone who is intelligent to stick with INFP's. Almost all ENFP's come across as stupid to me, only some of them aren't that dumb but continue to act it, anyway, for instance. If you google INFP celebrities they're very often extremely bright people - Christina Ricci, Morrissey, Marlon Brando. The ones I've met in real life tend to be that way, too. They're more reliable than other types, as a group. @@Violet_Odorata
