The Church Of What's Happening Now:  

who here is watching this in the year 2024?

Theo Von: Guest of the Year (Across All Podcasts)

"I'm not saying their black or anything like that, I'm just saying they happen to be black when people see them" LOL Goddamn dude LOL.

Theo: "Miami Vice? Ya I think I read the book" Joey: "Theres no fuckin book"

“I was like an Arab... goin’ into places just to bomb.” 😂

When Theo called Lee a 'Prison Ham'!!!! LMFAO

Biggest sign that Theo is a truly good person at heart: He looked Lee in the eye at the end of the podcast and made sure that Lee knew he was just joking around about him, nothing serious.

"This smells like Thanksgiving night in a prison shower" -Theo Von Lmmfao!!!! Hahahaha 😂🤣💀

"In Japan that's like buying somebody a scarf."

“In Gary, Indiana, Lee’s an 8” surprisingly true

How old are you Lee .. I’m 30... damn “lee I thought you were like 19”😂😂😂

These will never get old, so great to fall asleep to as well.

Dude Theo and Joey have that chemistry man. Theo has that right mentality to spark with Joey's stories.. You never know what either of them will say. This is a perfect mix.

"i read the book" "no there's no fuckin book" god i love theo and joey for actually calling him out for bullshitting lol

"Treat your Snout, to some of that Free Booty Pasta, Bruh Bruh" - the legend aka Theo Von

Joey doesn’t laugh the way he does at theo, with anyone. They’re brilliant together

Joey have theo on more he is tremendous

No one puts words together like Theo, maybe because I’m from the UK but it’s hilarious. Booty pasta 🍝, peppermint hunter 😂😂.

"If the animal is still alive and suffering you can shoot it in the leg to help it out" -joey Diaz

“You can’t put a silk hat on a pig” lol. Love when he messes up sayings and words. My favourite is still “I was on the Eucalyptical machine” 😂

Theo is saying everything without even taking time to think ... this man is a true natural everybody had a dude this funny in high school but they usually ended up in jail or homeless and on crack.

Funny Moments 0:04:40 - Theo's Abduction Plan 0:05:44 - Buffalo, NY / Beef on Weck 0:06:30 - Fox Meat / Animal Carcasses 0:09:14 - Joey Farts (Christmas Tea Kettle / Fart Sponge) 0:10:53 - Lee’s Sexuality (Prison Ham) 0:12:20 - Lee’s Age 0:13:07 - Pool Story / Don Blankenstein 0:19:28 - Joey Farts #2 (Easter Eggs) 0:23:47 - Eddy Story (Mustang) 0:29:13 - Theo Blanks 0:31:58 - Theo’s Dad 0:33:48 - Joey Farts #3 (Air Calamari) 0:35:27 - Driving Underage 0:49:54 - Joey Farts #4 0:50:31 - Sinkholes 0:51:20 - Joey Farts #5 0:53:00 - Kids on Chains (Seth Buttons) 1:05:50 - Andy Dick Blowjob Story 1:17:53 - Joey's Chelsea Handler Story 1:49:34 - Theo Apologies to Lee Gang, Gang, Bruh.

Theo’s vocabulary is something to admire

Joey, please consider my words- I was a heavy tobacco and pot smoker for 35 years. I am also a recovering alcoholic. Smoke free 5.5 years, dry 6 months. I have severe COPD type 2 now, was type 3 before quitting smoke. I went cold turkey with pot, but used a vape pen to quit tobacco, about 3 months. Coughing up blood woke me up. I use 2 inhalers, 4 vials in a nebulizer, and 1 pill every day, just to breathe. Your liver is the only (major) organ that regenerates; your lungs/throat do "heal", but very slowly. I'm not a Doctor, or health expert- but I can tell you that hearing your cough (medium loose, phlegm/sputum with tightness) is a sign you have way too much water in your body, mostly the Bronchi tubes. The years of cocaine and now pot and vaping is catching up. I'd advise you to ask your Doctor about a prescription of "Lasix" (Furosemide) 1 pill a day. You will have a full bladder every 20 minutes, be prepared. After 1 week, you'll notice less puffiness, less chunky cough. Try to limit your water intake. I've seen you guzzle a bottle every hour- you are drowning, leading to CHF (Congestive Heart Failure). Been there, done that.

This podcast had me dying 😂 Theo is damn good at keeping a straight face... at one point Joey says “quit trying to be funny!” 🤣🤣

I discovered Theo 2 weeks ago and have actually watched every goddamn podcast he was gracious enough to attend..... Yeah I love em and have no life haha.

“Sounds like a halfway house in Albuquerque” 😂

“what Ima do is”..... Joey cutting deals in these ads😂😂

Joey blew his ass on Lee so much on this episode. Lmao! Love how Theo describes each one of Joeys farts.

Can’t sleep, time for some Uncle Joey coke stories... 💨

'It takes twenty years to look back'. Deep.

Man I had no clue what the next 4 years had in store for me but this brought me joy to re-watch my favorite episode

1:17:47 "I know what's it like to be a young girl" - Sounds like a story for another day, Josephine

This made my day being surprised by my 2 favorite people

I love how genuine Joey is. I loves him

God these episodes at this time were just like magic. That room, the lighting, just everything is perfect for close conversation

ive been waiting for this upload all day, theo von is our favorite guest on the church!

Good morning ☀️ we got Joey AND Theo. It’s already a good day

“I know what it’s like to be a young girl” -Joey Diaz

Theo Von kinda reminds me of Joey Diaz a bit in the way that he came on to all these podcasts at once and just killed it. I had never really heard of either until I listened to them on podcasts and they're just fucking hilarious. And it's effortless for both. They just ooze hilarity.

Theo genuinely makes Joey laugh😂

"Fish Poison" - I died 😂😂😂😂 Oh Lee

I laugh and love it when Theo is so genuinely excited When joey is telling a story, that he keeps trying to guess what Joey is gonna say next (like a little kid during storytime), but instead in my head, I see and hear Rusty Cuyler constantly blurting out wrong answers 😂

In my 40 years i cannot how i have never heard of theo von but omg. Am i ever glad he came across my page. Im addicted to his humor. He is one of thw funniest guys ive heard.

Why does theo look like he's broadcasting from the Heaven's Gate video?

We need a Christ killa cam!

"In Japan that's like buyin somebody a scarf." Hahahahah Theo is on fire on this one.

Joey, thank you for being so genuine out here on the internet. I never would’ve known a life like yours being a young person in this day and age. Much respect to you, Theo, and Lee for putting in the time and effort to make these videos.

Joey: "If you've ever watched 'Miami Vice', either the second or third episode..." Theo: "I read the book, I think." Joey: "There's no fucking book." I fucking love when these two get together.

Joey you seriously got to light your guest better you don't look like they're in Witness Protection they are hiding in the shadows.

“Lee The Fart Sponge”

Lee the fart sponge 🧽 lmaoooo 😂😂

Been waiting all night for this. Theo is the man

"Hondurans will walk 30 hours in a 24 hour day" - Theo lmfao

Theo is such a great guy you can tell he doesn't wanna hurt people's feelings but hilarious at the same time. Love you guys

Appreciate this Podcast so much they always help me threw shit

Joey should be the commentator of Tony vs Khabib..like who agrees.

10:10 "take a whiff of that fart, that is tremendous" lmao

I never thought I'd be taking health and lifestyle advice from Joey Diaz but here I am ✍🏻

Bruh these 3 are the best barely starting at 4:40 im dead. “If I can keep and have me my own lil lee, in a wheel barrel.” In a wheel barrel for lee’s 😂 dude 😂😂

The more Theo lets his real personality out, the better he gets. He's remarkably better than just two years ago. He the next big one out there in the biz.

How does a guy who tried killing all his brain cells for 40 years still have a memory three times better than I do???

Lmaoooooo “ around the holidays bruh?” 💀💀💀

My boy calling Lee a "Prison ham" had me balling

“What are you, a fucking undertaker” 💀😂😂

I choked when joey said" if there alive and suffering shoot em in the leg or whatver u do" hahahah

"she stripped and she was Christian" jesus christ.. lmao

The way Joey pronounce pierogis is hilarious. However I’m glad he’s showing love for the Polish food

Did Theo grow up in Sunnyvale trailer park?

After my struggles I’ve started the journey to be a psychologist. Love you Joey you helped me so much

"Bull racing in Bulgaria"😂😂

I swear every episode Lee asks "what does that even mean". Joey: " lee, do you want a water?" Lee: "what does that even mean"

Shout out to Lee “Morty from Rick & Morty”

i don't remember the last time i laughed this much listening to a podcast, love theo von

Joey is a warm blanket on a rainy sunday and I love him for it

Theo is my spirt animal. My guide. My teacher. My best friend. My fucking legend.

Two of my favorite comedians talking is always a great show!

Theo Von "that fart had breast milk in it"......2018 podcast quote of the year

Lee: I'm 30 Theo: I thought you were 19 Lmao

In Japan that’s like giving someone a scarf 😂

Joey and Theo are great together. Best episode ever.

I’m born & raised from Theo’s hometown, Covington. He must have been raised in what we locals term “the Dark 30’s” on the other side of the tracks

Love the way Joey always hustles for his advertisers - true pro!

I swear, the most subtly hilarious thing Theo does is end every other sentence with “i think” 😂😂

Theo's reaction to Lee's age killed me 😂

Great show guys helps me through the day....greetings from Ireland. TREMENDOUS.

I love Joey Diaz. The stories and the truth about life. I did time and was a heroin addict. I'm clean from smack now and feel great. I smoke weed, drink here and there, shrooms occasionally. Whenever I feel down and out I go to the Church of Happenings!

In Japan it's like buying someone a scarf... this man's brain works in a unique way.

Omgsh! Theo Freakin' Von! I absolutely love him. Theo and the great Joey Diaz! I'm so excited.

“They got goldfish, I want you to poison them too.”😂😲

42:23 "ill buy a phone from you rn" 🤣🤣

"Treat your snout to some of that booty pasta" 😂🤣

That first shit Theo said about Lee had me dying

“7, 8, 10, 12 years” LMAO

25:25 Joey describing the guy from his childhood, and Theo just says “not Samuel huh?” 😂😂😂😂

Lee sounds like he’s tryna do a mid morty impression constantly 😂

Joey Diaz & Theo Von is the best collab of 2018!🤘

Damn this is one of the funniest podcasts I've ever heard.

29:12 this moment here is so underrated. reminds of the the don't you wish you could do anything kid trying to spit out a sentence lmao

Theo and Joey, the best story tellers in the comedy game. Hands down.