I worked in Seoul and once had a Korean co worker who was obviously going through a really hard time and needed some help. I talked to other foreigner friends got a good recommendation for a psychologist and gave her the information. She looked at me like I was crazy and then with this look of pity like, oh you have been to a therapist??? I realized she would probably just never even register that she needed to or could get some help. At least I tried I guess. I think overall it's a "we don't talk about Bruno" situation, but I do try to sneak in helpful mental health info into my lessons with my Korean students from time to time.
I think it's the culture/environment that made her react with pity, not because she didn't realize that getting help is possible. My cousin, who is a graduate student in Korea (studying addiction recovery) says that cultural attitudes play a big part in how therapy is negatively viewed in Korean society. Most don't believe in it, as it's seen as a weakness. They have this inherent belief that Korean people are emotionally resilient since they survived two wars. Economic survival is the most important thing, not one's overall health. They have a very surface level, shallow understanding and acceptance of going to therapy and dealing with mental health in general. It's very frustrating, TBH.
I had post partum depression with my second kid in Seoul. I knew mental health was really lacking but omg, I was not prepared for how backwards it was. I told my OB about it at my 6 week check up. She didn't ask, I mentioned it as she was walking me out of her office. She helped make an appointment with the resident psychologist. I was told "Stop breastfeeding and come back or come back when it gets worse." Ummm.. Worse?! When I ABUSE my own child or harm myself?! Wtf?? No tips, no meds. Literally zero help. FB has really helpful groups of foreign parents in Korea so I posted asking for a good doc and was able to get some help. Otherwise, I don't think my marriage would have made it through and I don't want my kids have trauma from a mentally unstable mother
I know nothing about postpartum depression but it sounds so rough esp when you have to take care of another being😢😢 i’m so glad you’re willing to not be a ‘mentally unstable mother’ cuz some Mom’s are so entitled that they gave ‘life’ so they give themselves a free pass on being mentally stable for the child. You’re an amazing mom❤
Thank you for being so open about mental health, in a world where we are told we just need to “suck it up” or are shamed. Just because I am smiling does not mean I am ok. From this side of the world a million times thank you.
as an indian i can relate to all your points except the {tolerance of diversity } cuz indias 2 name is DIVERSITY otherwise at every point i was like is she talking about india ??? dude its so similar
My father never calls me, I mean every 2 months maybe. He's the quiet and stoik type. So even when I visit my parents the things we do together are practical, like grocery shopping or fixing his computer, etc. Continue watching.....
hi kelsey !! fellow 98 liner, korean american gorl here this video on mental health in korea is so necessary and is going to help so many people. i'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now, but i applaud you for having the courage to be so vulnerable and honest about your mental health struggles. you're not alone 알지?! 한국에 사는 사람들이 이 영상 많이 봤으면 좋겠다. 너무 잘하고 있고, 진짜 중요한 일을 하고 있다는거 기억해! 응원해 친구 !! ^__^
Here in Latin America leaving your parent's house and not getting in touch regularly is a crime. Not taking care of your parents is very frowned upon no matter the case. I work in another city and it took 5 years and a huge breakdown to realise i need to get away of my controlling mother. For housing reasons I couldn't take my dog with me and I go to my mom's house every weekend to be with it but the guilt tripping never stops. I love my mom but sadly i have to say i am happier away from her.
I'm Latina from Brazil and I literally hate this latin culture of like "just because you're born, you're owning your parents something" and like, I didn't ask to be born and as it's not enough but I have a shitty father, I live with my mom and I have an ok relationship with her, but sometimes she makes some toxic comments about me like: "I'm your mother and I literally own you" like this, and I hate it so much, I didn't ask to be born in this horrible world and if I could turn back time, if I could, I'd ab0rt myself, it's so painful to be a person with anxiety and depression diagnosed and literally everyday to me is a "try not to kill yourself" challenge.
I totally get you. I'm the oldest guy in my family. And my korean parents and everyone else put so much pressure on me to succeed. I need to set an example. But now they all gave up on me and I'ma total disappointment to them. I really can't blame them for my life chooses. I messed up a lot and still messing up. I just don't know.
Please, do not think like that! The most important thing is what YOU think of yourself. I'm sure you are a kind and overall good person. Parents should be ashamed of children who are nasty, ungrateful, violent, bad people overall. What's wrong with not becoming a doctor, or a lawyer? Or having a corporate job? Parents should just want their kids to be good and kind people, to follow their passions and dreams, if they have them, and stand by their side while they are trying to navigate life (in the crazy world we are living in). Try setting some boundaries and just enjoy what YOU want to do and be! 화이팅 ☺️
Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Be more forgiving to yourself. Also, surround yourself with positive and supportive people, whether it be in person, or online such as a support group. Love yourself for who you are and for who you can become. Do a thorough self-assessment and take notes on what you could improve. Make gradual changes and take daily steps that will take you to the reality you want for yourself.
Remember this culture was born when there was little competition for success. You could work hard and succeed. Now that all chairs have someone sitting on them, finding a chair is more difficult. Success is not a finish line of money and status. Success is when you can make a living and enjoy your present. The concept of success comes from 70 years ago from a community of poor peasants in a postwar filled with misery. That is not the most well educated context to define a core value for a healthy life.
I’m Korean American and I have the same problems as you. That’s why I’m in Korea living by myself far away from my parents. I’m happy for you doing better! Being the bigger person is very difficult.
Love you, Kelsey! It took me 27 years and several breakdowns to admit that -maybe- I needed to be proactive in my own care. And I’m STILL figuring this shit out. International Yee-Haw hug from Texas!!
Yeah mental health is overly stigmatized in Korea you have to pretend to be "normal" otherwise you'll be labeled as "weak-minded" and "crazy." There is too much pressure and stress because of saving face and unrealistic expectations . A lot of Koreans and Non-Koreans are unhappy yet the government acts like they're blind and can't see what the issues are. "A high suicide rate? Oh my that's bad but it's not due to toxic societal or cultural values or anything" is pretty much their response. No accountability whatsoever then they wonder why people refuse to get married and pop out babies. *Roll eyes*
Crazy is a word scientific illiterates use. It has no scientific content. Being normal is very abnormal statistically speaking. If they want more babies, politicians can make them by themselves. It is not a citizen duty to do so.
Kelsey, as a middle eastern girl i want to tell you that i relate to everything you talked about. I remember a therapist telling me that I should not distance myself from my parents just bc “they’re family after all.” It’s so triggering when a therapist invalidates your experience especially since it shows how normalized toxicity is in some cultures. Your content has helped me through rough times, you’re so inspirational. I want you to know that you are a really smart, charismatic and brave person. Stay strong 💪🏼
I'm so grateful to you for talking about this topic, especially sharing your experience and candidly talking about your observations about societal norms in Korea. I am a fan of ASTRO and when Moon Bin left us recently it crushed me to think he was in so much pain. I don't know if nobody noticed or if there was some attempt behind the scenes at getting him help, but I noticed the commentary on social media afterwards and a distinct unwillingness to talk about suicide or mental health issues. It felt like everyone just wanted to sweep it under the carpet with comforting words about how he's now a star in the sky etc and I just kept thinking - something is off about how people are reacting. Even Suga's video for Amygdala was actively blocked on RU-vid in Korea if you are under 19 (there was just a warning for viewers in Australia but you could still see it) yet it wasn't even particularly graphic, and I feel it would have been beneficial for more young people to see and hear his song to feel less alone and help normalise talking about mental health. I love Korea and I really hope that young people like you can start opening up the conversations about this topic because it’s the only way people can learn to identify if there’s a problem and seek help. It should be viewed no different than physical health. You are a funny and interesting person and you have a relatable style of presenting. Your parents should be proud of THAT! 😌👏👏👏
Kelsey - I visited Seoul for the first time last week and realized that everything I know about contemporary Korean society is from from watching your videos. You are a super smart and talented person and it’s not easy being in your 20’s. I’m twice your age and finally figuring it out. Sending you ❤ from LA!
Much of what you say about your parents/family seems familar. It was like that with most East Asian girls I dated. 90% of our fights were something related to their families. Some of those adult women snuck out of their parents house like a 14 year old in order to meet me. That is just plain undignified...
I went to see a psychiatrist after you uploaded your mental health daily routine. A lot of what you mentioned there was similar to my experience even though close friends invalidated my suspicions. It turned out I was right! Thanks for talking about it so openly.
My father calls me about once a month, I miss it when he does not (he is a busy bee) so then I call him. We live countries apart. WOW thanks so much! You are an angel ❤ to post this I did not know of this online therapy service! Lots of love from Tio'tia:ke-Montréal
Thank you Kelsey for this video. From America, seeing a therapist isn't taboo. Many, many people see a therapist, however, I agree with you about some doctors diagnosing and putting people on meds right away. Also, the meds take about 1-2 months to work, so be patient with yourself. There isn't a "happy pill", so if you're depressed PLEASE see a therapist and talk...talk...talk... As for parents putting all the pressure on you, only YOU can stop it. Easy for me to say, since many American parents are all about "whatever makes you happy..." Why do you think Kpop/Kdrama celebs suicide? They seem to have everything and can call-the-shots. So many Kpop/Kdrama celebs have suicided... why???
16:40 I hope people remember that who are struggling in Korea, because you’re NEVER truly alone, i may be a faceless comments on the internet, but I’m a 22 year old girl that lives in California and I am rooting for the entire community in Korea and I really hope happiness finds its way to y’all. You are accepted and supported by me 🩷
Thank you so much for this Kelsey! As a teacher who has taught in 5 countries and about to relocate to Seoul, im very conscientious of adolescent mental health and the glaring gaps in Korea regarding this. I feel very passionate about this topic so I hope there is an awareness of this soon to overturn these shocking OECD stats.
Reminds me, it is not only a Korean problem. My mother still thinks she could tell me what to do or not. I am 63 years old. We are doing fine the first two days we spend together, any day longer and it becomes a battlefield. I am calling her once a week for an hour. After this I am feeling exhausted. She always wants to go on a journey with me once a year for a week or two. After this I need a vacation to get back on my mental well being track. Parents..
I'm from Poland and I can relate to a lot of it. It's definitely not so extreme as in Korea but this mindset is here as well. The studies, the planned life, the judging if you're worse than average (even if average is sky high) or, God forbid, if you have any mental health problems, constant comparison with others.... It's really similar!
Kelsey I’m glad you’re brave enough to talk about mental health and suicide issues in Korea. There is still a stigma around mental illness and seeking therapy in the black American community as well, so I can relate. I’m glad you chose to get help and are doing better. I highly recommend BetterHelp too. I have used their services in the past and had good results. Anyway, good luck on your journey and remember to take care and love on yourself as much as possible ❤
You are so strong! I applaud you for being able to identify when you need help and getting it. Keep listening to yourself and following your own path. I enjoy your videos because you are so honest and don’t try to show a perfect Kelsey. This is one of the reasons many people find you so relatable. I will continue to support you and pray for your health in all aspects of your life. Never forget that you are loved and appreciated by many. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Your video really help me understand that the things going around me are not normal and I how should protect myself. I didn't realize the negativity around it and how badly it was impacting because of the lack of awareness. More power to you Kelsey, it's hard talking about these things and you're so strong. It inspires me to be this strong. Also the sun glow in you face looks super pretty!
it's so important what you're doing because it shakes the whole "money and consumerism" thing, because even being priviledged has its downs, specially emotionally. i have similar parents and i know how hard it is. i admire you so much! hope things are getting better for you.
Girl, this was such a rich introspective video about mental health in Korea. As someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, I know how hard it can get but hope we all can remember every single time that when those dark times come, they are not here forever, that there are ways we can get better and thrive always. Mental health is a global issue, especially after this pandemic. In South Korea's case just like in any other country, there are endemic factors that also contribute to it. In SK case is the extremely high expectations people place on themselves and others. Just how you described, people tend to see other people(even their children) as commodities which value is measured by status, wealth, family ties and overall achievements instead of just human beings that are trying their best and are struggling all at the same time. I hope younger generations start breaking this mindset because is incredibly toxic and it puts people on two positions: "you are either a failure or a success". People are not projects, we are a collection of both, failures and successes. We will always be here for you girl! Stay strong and keep bringing this awesome content!❤🥰 Btw you trying to get the sun reminded me of my cat moving where the sun goes lol😅
I agree totally that we are all somewhere in between! Nobody is perfect/perfectly bad. I still choose to love my parents cuz they’re not perfectly and absolutely bad :) we’re all just struggling somewhere in between😂 the cat comment made me laugh hahaha ty
@@KelseytheKorean exactly, we are all just in between, even our parents (although sometimes they are oblivious to it or refuse to accept it, my father does that too 💀) I'm glad lol, my cat cant miss an chance to get sunbathe, I dont blame him, it actually feels nice 😅
Depression is about being troubled by a past you cannot change. Anxiety is excessive concern about the future that is yet to come. You exist in the present. This is where you can do your best. The past will always be the same, so you either accept it or you accept it as is. The future is built in the present. So do your best and be aware of the present. There is nothing else you can do.
i appreciate kelsey for speaking about her mental issues because it really helps to know that you are not alone :(.... p.s: i think alot of people made videos about this but better help is a weird service. i mean get your coin kelsey but a lot of people tried the app and got issues with the therapists in it. please proccede with caution while using it.
Hi Kelsey, First of all, I love the Fork, microphone situation. Just genius. And all of what you said is just preaching to the choir. ( I have a relative who has depression bc she could not be a doctor and she refuses to see a therapist. So much pressure to be the best.) Thanks for talking about this subject.
I hope you find a stable balance in life, and not forget in some bad short moments, that you can feel better soon after dealing with the current hardship
I don't have a super witty or insightful comment, but wanted to give you props for another well done video. Your awareness and openness about issues affect Korean society and you personally is, and should be, inspiring. Even in Western culture sometimes, it is difficult to talk about mental health issues and I know I still feel somewhat guarded about disclosing my going to therapy, even if it is extremely beneficial to me. In Korean society where therapy and mental health aren't as discussed, it must be even harder. So yeah, kudos to you. Here's to both of us, and everyone, progressing in making our lives as fulfilling as happy as we can make them!
I think a lot of this is also common in the west, especially in some socioeconomic. It's just become more covert whereas in Korea it seems to still be more overt.
I like how aware you are about your mental health and about life in general. Thanks for opening up about mental health. It will help other people and open up conversations about mental health. You are so strong and self aware❤
This is a beautiful video. So sincere and wise. I really appreciate as a mother of young adults dealing with depression and ADHD. Luckily we live in a country that has a lot of awarnese to mental health and also a lot of support in the education and public health system. You are a pioneer in so many things. You are very brave. It is so good you are taking care of your self . All the best.
Mental health is something we all need to talk about and kudos to you for sharing your experiences and for doing better right now. I can't say that I had the same experiences as you since my issues were less about family and more about being in toxic environments dealing with awful people in my youth.
Thank you for educating us on mental health in Korea. I think you are very brave & wish you to be happy. Btw, what happened to Moonbin, the kpop idol that passed away, shocked me. Now I understand better what struggles he might have faced
Yes I didnt mention directly but korean celebs keep unaliving themselves one by one influenced me to make this video… Moonbin’s case rly shocked me. It could happen to anyone though and i wanted to do my version to do my best to contribute it to not happening ❤
Thank you for sharing your perspective and those mental health tips! I really think it's important to have these kinds of conversations with friends and family because mental health is as important as physical health, and yet it's still taboo in so many countries.
I'm glad you're doing better. I like this kind of video because I feel less alone, I don't have the same traumas (France is a little less extreme haha) and I tried to work on it by studying sociology (very useful for there see more clearly in family relationships, like blood ties are not magic, sometimes we are just too different to get along) but I tell myself that I should still take the plunge and consult a professional to take take care of my mental health. Thank you for everything and take care Kelsey
Wow, this was excellent! Thanks for keeping it 100 and giving us some thoughtful tips for mental health. You had a rough time but you were able to turn it around and learn a lot. I am so glad that you are living your life your way and sharing some insights with us^^ Rooting for you, free to make your own amazing path.
As a teacher, I really work hard to make sure that my students who previously lived abroad(usually in America) are included. It's really difficult because the kids were sent to American kindergarten w/o speaking any English and now they don't fit in in Korea. Like they will spend their childhood feeling like they don't belong. It's really sad.
Kelsey I want to genuinely thank you for your videos it kind of feels like i'm having a sit down talk with a friend or sister and that's really nice honestly for someone like me who struggles with pretty bad anxiety and what I now recognize as my depression being back 😅 I've been back in my reclusive ways of not wanting to talk with anyone and would much rather just have the comfort of listening to someone instead of thinking about what to say or how to say it. Especially someone who understands the feelings of depression and doesn't try to be perfect and "happy" in every video. Just want you to know that if you ever have doubts about whether your videos actually help or not, it does. I've now recognized my mental state and feel comforted by the fact that you are open about going through the same things PLUS i'm more motivated to maybe even take initiative like you were talking about! I don't want to keep overthinking and feeling down about not starting something so truly thank you. p.s. sorry for the long comment 😅 LOVE YOU GIRL and lets keep fighting together~♥♥♥♥♥♥
I think that many people from ethnic backgrounds can relate to the mental health & societal struggles that you have talked about. Keep going, what your talking about & sharing is so crucial. As a 1st gen ethnic indian in NZ (I see myself as a Kiwi) with a diverse group of friends I see this in all our lives. You are wonderful Kelsey. Keep on with this journey & your discoveries 💜
Very interesting video as usual Kelsey ! It's really interesting to watch this video for me cause my mom had the same issue with her parents you had so... I understand more what she talks about. Calling your parents everyday is pretty normal for me though, even though they are absolutely not codependant and stuff. In their case it's just nice.
I think your videos are very helpful to all. Being able to understand the cultural differences that can cause depression is important. It helps people understand and, in some cases, relate. Thank you ❤
Love the overalls! I can understand why suicide rates are so high. My life has been so stressful and I've been working so hard that my period just shows up at random times😭. Nothing I do will fix it. apparently this is a very common problem for young women in Korea due to stress, both physical and emotional. 😓
Codependency is also common in South East Asia. What people don't like talking about is financial codependency and financial instability. Kids are expected to financially take care of their kids once they reach their retirement age. Kids are then "forced" to give up their dreams and set aside their needs to help support their parents. It's a drain on their general well being.
Thank you for this. I love how real and human you are. 😍I'm Vietnamese-American and relate to a lot of this with Confucius values. I recommend 'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay C. Gibson' which helped my mental health and with cultures that shamed mental health. You're doing great by the looks of it or at least what I think. I love the tip with choosing YOUR perception. I've been repeating "I am capable and whatever I do matters."
I'm from Finland and been living alone since I was 16 because of my studies, I'm 22 now and my parents definitely don't call me even every month :D Of course I will always message them if I need help with something, but they don't ever really contact me just to ask me how I'm doing and that's just what's normal to me.
I feel like I relate to this at some sense, I'm from south africa and my parents have this image that it's either your a: Lawyer Doctor Or do anything in the IT field. I was moved to different school, leaving my friends behind to live my father's dream( Do computer science) because he never had the chance. My sister and brother have well paying jobs and are doing very well for themselves, so my parents see it as "look at your sister she's a doctore, etc" and "look at your brother his a web developer " so I have this thing of always having to work hard because if I don't ill be a failure in my family. My parents depend on me alot based on the families image since they want 3 perfect children with perfect lives (as if) it becomes so emotionally draining and mentally draining because I always feel like I have to be the best to make them happy. Which is just ruining me. This resulted in me having depression, anxiety etc . As well as them always making fun of my image and wanting me to be the same size as my siblings since I'm the biggest one but the youngest, which contributed to me getting an eating disorder. Great job "parents"
Yikes many things you named are very toxic and would cause mental health issues. I'm glad you are talking about it because it needs to be discussed and not seen as taboo. You are doing an amazing job Kelsie. Please continue getting therapy and bringing awareness to fellow Koreans. Love from Florida, USA 💜
I love how you're so open about Mental Health, even in the U.S. people like to sweep thoughts about depression under the rug. It should normal to admit to not being okay rather than saving face and wearing a mask. The seemingly happiest people are always hiding their depression and it's understandable, but they shouldn't have to carry such a burden.
We're all imperfect people living in an imperfect world, but we all have a purpose in this life. Thank you, Kelsey, for sharing openly with everyone. You are helping so many people. Much love to you as you continue in your journey. ❤
I suffer from mental illness, I live in Sweden, all my colleagues know about it. i told all my friends everyone knows about it. Even when I'm at work I get my panic anxiety sometimes and not in the mood and then I always tell my colleagues I'm not feeling so well today I have a bit of my panic anxiety so they dont think im rude I usually tell them. and Swedish colleagues and friends they understand and always say "it's okay to feel bad sometimes no danger I understand that and it's great that you say that" they don't judge others in Sweden. but my Asian parents don't understand or care much. Im from myanmar and we move to sweden when im 10 and. my parents always compare me with my brother i'm never good enough because i'm a girl. I can't hang out with my friends like I want and be out. I get to do all the housework and babysit my two siblings all the time. after i turned 18 i never ask money from my parents and always say no when they give me money or buy me things. in sweden we get child support 180 usd every month until 15 after 15 we get pay like 180 usd during high school, we get paid for going to school. After we turn 15-16 after 9 class the municipality arranges 3 weeks summer jobs for all young people untill we turn 18. From this i start to save my own money and now im 27 and by my own apartment and move from my anoying asian parents and get my own life.
Very interesting video, Kelsey. You do you. Let people do what they do best. I think you are an extremely intelligent young lady. I enjoy your information and the way you handle situations. Take care of yourself.😊😊😊🤭🤭🤗🤗
Love your honesty and candour and this is one of these sponsored vids that are hugely legitimate. So thanks for this - you spoke cogently and sincerely. My kids are in their 20s. One's working FT and living in a flat share. The younger two are still a Uni. I speak to them once a week on average which feels about right. We also exchange bon mots on SM as and when. They don't need me on their case constantly...that's what my ex-wife is for!
Wow Kelsey, for someone so young, you're wise and so self aware. Mental health is so important and Korea may still have a long way in de-stigmatizing it and you are helping! In Asia in general, mental illness like depression is considered shameful and ignored and there is not enough social services and awareness. Maybe that's why suicides in Korea is higher than other Asian countries
I think it's very interesting to listen of these strict parent's standards, I realize that my parents are also extremely strict. I feel like they, and my family, judge the job and academic status of my bf and his parents too... Even I MYSELF noticed myself judging people by that, catching myself having these feelings and thoughts about people's status. Also I soent a year in Korea, as a student, and I noticed many things. I think South Korea needs a big big campaign about what life could be. I think success is being valued way above happiness, and that's why everyone is on such a high speed on this productivity highway, racing eachother to reach this infinite cycle of overtime, late hours and scraping thenselves together on the few days off they get. I think South Korea has reached a very huge economical success and growth, only by the huge diligence and hard work of it's citizens. That is absolutely true. But I think it has reached a stage, where the main goal shouldn't be economical excellence anymore but a good life standard (work life balance, less financial inequalities, support for youbg families and generally promoting less working hours, and promoting other lifegoals then career and success)...I just hope for the young generations of South Koreans to make a change and to set themselves free of this extreme pressure.. step by step. You can't change a whole society, but you can inspire people to change their values slowly, so everyone can lead a bit fuller and less exhausting life... That's just my view as an outsider and non Korean, I know the situation are quite much more complicated in real life.
This is such a good video. I’m sure it’s very helpful to people Side note: I love the background of this vid. Like I know it’s just a wall,, but it’s nice
We have VERY similar values in the Middle East (every country is different tho), thankfully seeking professional help is not as stigmatic now as it used to be (therapy is for crazy ppl blah blah..). Love you Kelsey 💓 your doing amazing bb💕
This EPISODE KELSEY is so NECESSARY and I see this as CRUCIAL for S. Koreans. I’m so SAD 😞 about the latest SUICIDES. Not that I know anyone personally, but I see ending a LIFE unless it’s do to ILLNESS very devastating. I’m so happy for you BEAUTIFUL KELSEY…you’re self evaluation makes you such an AMAZING person. Good job. I’m an older lady and I applaud your choices in not allowing others TOXICITY to continue to control your decisions. God Bless you. (THE BLESSING is not intended to OFFEND) 🙋🏻♀️🇺🇸❤️🔥
You look so good in this video. Calm, collected and informative. I like your outfit and hairstyle too. I'm living in Europe, but I always had a close connection with my parents. I talked with my mother on the phone every day until she died. I visiting my family every Sunday. My father living with my sister and she takes care of him. It's not so different, than the Asian families. Here in Hungary, we respect the elders.
I do kindle understand where Korean parents come from to an extent. Korea and Japan both modernized faster than most of the world like they built their country from the ground up I’m not even 20 years so working hard is very important to them. They obviously do take it too far and I can’t give a complete opinion on it because I’m not Korean and was gifted with parents who just want me to be happy. But that’s just what I assume goes on in elder Koreans brains.
k 장녀로써 특히 더 매우 공감합니다 actually I was fine when I didn't know about it, but now that I realize it, it makes distressing .. as you said I can’t change my mom
I feel really bad for the way you grew up, the pressure is not right. I’m from the USA and my husband is European….we have 3 daughters and we’ve never put them under pressure to be „A“ students. NEVER. We just want them to be independent adults and be happy. That’s all that matters. Whatever the parents are going through or the issues they are dealing with…is on them. They are responsible for themselves only, once their kids are adults. Love your channel!❤
Kelsey, u look lovely ! We all have some things that makes us depressed . Some more then the others. Kelsey, u do makes us laugh 😂. You are serious and funny 💕
I'm Australian, Aussie mum, dad from European descent. My parents care a lot (mostly my mum) about what job any guy I dated's parents did. Mum says it's a good way to judge the way a person was brought up. I think it's an outdated view personally, but it's interesting to hear that Korean parents care, too! I wonder if it's for the same reason as well as the prestige aspect?
I am from Germany...I know people who dont have a "good" family background, but they are really different than their parents, they have stable jobs and are super empathic and polite...and I also know people from "good" families, who are totally arrogant, empathy lacking and kinda dum a -holes, who do alot of reckless stuff. I never judge a child by its parents because what a person is as an adult is not always the result of a good or bad upbringing. We are all individuals who can think for themselves. My mom couldnt care less about what my spouse does (unless its criminal), she only cares about how I am treated and if I love the person. For a long time, I didnt think highly of my mother, but I realised the older I got, shes a solid mom who loves unconditionaly, who supports me as long as I am reasonable and shes one of the least judgemental people I know. Having her as a mother in law is a gift. I am scared of inlaws, who judge by what you have on your CV...like whyyyyyy? People could have a daughter in law who graduated Harvard and she could still be a lying, greedy b*tch who will ruin the family.
The s*icide rate in Korea speaks for itself...how can people not spot the connection between their societal standards/expectations and the misery of the people? And the low birth rate (also in Japan), that probably has many factors going into it, might also come from people seeing kids as an exhausting project that has to go perfect, takes alot of money and people dont wanna imagine their kids suffering the same as they did maybe. The more broken and exhausted people are, the less they have making kids on their mind.
Hi Kelsey! maybe you can also talk about the "famous" and "most talked about" CSAT? the Suneung? like share its reality and maybe what it's like as someone who's able to get qualified in one of the SKY uni's. Hihi appreciate you!
My therapist always tells me how important it is to go to therapy and talk out what feels difficult. it usually feels better afterwards. "mental illness can get worse if you don't treat mental illness by going to therapy. it's okay to cry if you feel like it, it's okay to feel bad sometimes." "it's okay to go to therapy and take pills the important thing is how you feeling and it feels right for you. you are not stupid or different because you take medicine and go to therapy." so those who don't go to therapy and don't seek help are the ones who are crazy. those who do not seek help and go to therapy can lead to suicide and self-harm, for example by cutting themselves or hurting themselves because they have such strong anxiety. And its sad everyone deserves help
Even getting therapy in the US and Canada (my two countries of experience) is hard af. Stigma exists everywhere. I ended up in the US having to basically go to wherever I could to get started. Canada was a little easier because I went in a larger province and they happened to have availability but it still wasn't easy or entirely quick. Love and light to all, struggling or not.
I think it is very similar to other Asian countries. My purpose in life is to have a good paying job to provide for my mom to have a better life, but so far I'm not able to do that yet. Feel a bit defeated
It's an asian thing I suppose. But in India, it has shades. And at times, it's very strong support system. Here it depends where you live and what kind of environment you have got. As from where my mom hails, right from the start the entire village is very supportive and not at all toxic. So yeah......but instead in other parts, its hell.
I'm really crushing hard on this guy who happens to live in Korea. He's really a great guy who has a wonderful sense of humor, an amazing voice, beautiful eyes and I really want to get to know him better as a person...but how could I ever get near him when I'm basically useless in korean standards. I can cook and clean, but I didn't go to University and barely have money to stay afloat.😅 I'm intelligent and can take care of myslef, but I have this fear of meeting his parents and be told I'm not worthy of their son...despite me doing my best to become a good homemaker. I really like him too, but this fear is all too real...but I dont want this chance to pass me by.
Totally interesting how you talk about the expectations and judgement. It actually gives me flashbacks to a time I totally forgot. We got so influenced by that, that we plaid parents during dinner time, comparing who has the better imaginary child. Also the grades, an A was not enough, an A+ or sth extra was demanded. But luckily it wasn't to the point you have it in Korean and I could be like "f*** it and your opinions" towards my parents. I never told them, I just started to do as I wanted and I alone. Continue watching... 🙈🤪
