The Father Wound How Your Father Shaped Your Mental Health

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Whether or not we like it, our father helped shape us.
Regardless of your relationship with your father, they had a significant influence on shaping your relationship to yourself and the world.
Today we go over some of these ways in order to help us identify any paternal wounds we may be carrying and help us start healing them.
Always cheering for you,
Deniss
A list of my favorite resources is available for download for free at my shop. Find this and other resources available for purchase at: www.therapyexplained.org/cate...
& Don't forget to follow me on IG & TIkTok @DenissPleiner for more mental health content!
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**Content on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical/clinical advice, diagnosis, and/or treatment. Information shared is for educational purposes only. It is not therapy. Never disregard professional medical/ clinical advice or delay seeking it because of something you have read or seen on this channel. If you think you may need emergency medical assistance please call your doctor, go to the emergency room, and/or call 911 immediately. If you are a current or past client, you are free to subscribe. Please note that I will not engage with you via messages, comments due to ethical boundaries. You are welcome to leave comments but keep in mind that if you choose to do so, I am unable to protect your confidentiality on this platform.
Please be advised that none of my posts are directed to any one client and should not be interpreted as such. Videos are meant to address the overall human experience which may also relate to your unique circumstances. If you have thoughts about any content shared, this can be discussed during therapy sessions or via email. **

Опубликовано:

27 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 77

@nikita0921 Год назад

Please talk about how we can heal father and mother wounds.

@MickeyDs-mp7yr 4 месяца назад

EMDR Therapy. Working wonders for me with my mother wound. (Abuse, neglect then abandonment) I feel significantly better.

@Emmm818 Год назад

I would always compare my childhood to others, thinking I didn’t have it as bad, but by doing that I was silencing my inner child

@fosuaaaaa Год назад

My father has been absent for about 70% of my life because he works abroad. Firstly the relationship between my father and my mother is so volatile I don’t even know how and why they’re still together... maybe because of us, their children. He’s an emotionally unstable man and it’s quite evident because my mother cannot even engage him in certain conversations because “He’ll become angry”. My parents barely even know us, their children and I find that quite sad. My parents were never there on my graduation, prize giving day, and a whole lot. And approval and attention from them is totally based on our “Academic achievements” and only that. Not because of who we actually are are human beings.

@TherapyExplained Год назад

Thank you for sharing your story. You've got some amazing insights and I wish you well in your healing journey.

@ambriaashley3383 Год назад

I am very sorry that happened. I relate. You deserve more. I wish you well on your healing journey as well ❤️‍🩹

@IndianTechieGirlInAmerica Год назад

I feel you. Same with me .

@projectacuhope Год назад

My dad converted to Quaker religion because they believe in peace. The consequence of this was that he was not protective or even showed the slightest bit of upset when my sister and I were repeatedly subject to fights in school and criminal violence as young adults. He thought this type of lack of response, was being peaceful. I don't wish this type of peaceful Quaker dad on anyone. And how are we supposed to be feminine in such cases when we don't get proper protection.

@missrani5656 Год назад

Ok, I don't know if I should share this publically but about my father, my grandpa died when my dad was only in grade 9, he worked super hard and he was in a very big position in civil service, my dad always was sensitive and emotional but he was also very confident and very competitive but he actually was very very handsome and always women's favorite and he cheated on my mother multiple times and manipulated mom but he also provided for the family but very possessive about my mother now he is no more he passed away when I was 16 due to covid regardless of everything I was emotionally very linked to my father and he was caring too but emotionally sensitive and unstable sometimes also had a superior ego but also a genius and hardworking person + super protective about us, Now when he is not with us I miss him so much and feel so depressed and sad now,😔. I always thought my dad was my superhero and I always had less self-esteem as a kid because of being bullied but I always thought I could vent out my emotions with my dad now I feel so so anxious when I am at home and miss him miserably. 😭😭😢

@sunofsonz Месяц назад

I pray that we all heal. I don’t even know what to di

@jeaniechampagne8831 Год назад

Happy I found you. In my lifetime, I've probably interacted, visited, spoken to my dad about five short times. My parents divorced when I was four. The figure of a dad is a mystery to me. I've seen others with their dads and never had feelings yay or nay, it's far removed from me and my life. I don't understand it and oddly never longed for it. I don't know it. If I did think about it, it was a scary thought. I'm sure not having this figure in my life has effects I'm not even aware of. Because I don't know what it's like to have a dad. Dad's are protectors of their family, they provide a home and things we want. My Mom was this figure for me. Anxious to watch your video. Thank you.

@ericlarousse1149 Год назад

Same. Never had one. Never missed it. Had a massive effect I later realized. Also, a crazy mother.

@adrianrocha1101 Год назад

My father was absent. Abusive with my mother. Not with me. He had multiple women and have multiple stepbrothers. He was never there for any of us. He tried to be overprotective when he was present, like 2 or 3 times in a year if I got lucky. He took me away from my mother when I was a baby, never knew why. I haven't confronted him because he plays the nice guy, which he probably is, but never stood up against the emotional abuse of her wife. Now I get to pay the faults of his narcissistic, selfish, absence and abusive behavior with a General Anxiety Disorder, Chronic Depression and Insomnia and God knows how many other mental illnesses I got.

@eloisiacasillo9045 11 месяцев назад

Hope you'll heal soon

@laurencochran2201 11 месяцев назад

My parents and damn near whole family has passed since 2012 I'm an orphan adult only child lost trying to figure out how to wake up in pure angst and torment and figure this shit out before it kills me. I have no support system haven't for a long time. If anyone wants to reach out anything kind to say any recognition for things I've made it through so far would mean so much. Often find myself at times " oh shit I'm still here?!?", "What have we been doing now". The disassociation is extremely debilitating especially when trying to navigate parenting.

@janetwarren3051 2 месяца назад

❤❤❤ sending you some love. I’m an adult orphan too 😢

@sadtransgirl Год назад

I haven’t had much of a relationship with my father. He was there but also not at the same time. He’s worked as a trucker most of his life and mine so he’s been away a lot

@julietdavis1654 Год назад

I feel like I'm releasing every time I watch one of your videos, thanks

@oxfamrookie160 Год назад

I wish my father was like the character of Chris Evans(our captain america) in "Gifted"(2017).

@leeaschmidt2490 Год назад

Same always makes me cry

@akankshasingh7274 Год назад

Wao 111 likes ❤️ thankyou so much universe 🌺 thankyou so much mam 🥰🙏🌺

@TherapyExplained Год назад

Thank you so much for watching!

@dizzyb6816 Год назад

You are rly great at explaining this. Really gives me something to think about

@mysticaldreamer9654 Год назад

This is the most useful helpful video that I have seen in a long long time. ❤❤❤❤ thanks for that. Felt like a breeze past through my chest.

@kimiko_111 Год назад

I just found this page and I loved this video. I found it very informative I’ll definitely be watching your other videos 👍🏾

@lifepillars4u Год назад

This is soooo beautiful, thank you 🙏

@TherapyExplained Год назад

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

@ljkoh20052000able 11 месяцев назад

I believe what you are saying regarding our biological parents molecular level. I've read this with Dr. Van Der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score. However, I love the way you explain it. So understandable, simple yet brief and very accomodating

@dilpreetkaur9588 Год назад

Pls talk how to heal such wounds, to set our lives on right path

@TOLupe-ty6jb Год назад

When I was 23 years old I had the chance to get married to the woman of my dreams! I told my mother the news she says " ok well you better let your dad know" ( stupid mistake. I said " Dad I'm getting married" my father ten says " No son you can't get married, your just a little short guy, what if she kicks you out of her house? You don't know how to fight or defend t, No you can't!" Scenes that day I gave up on myself and looking for love 😢😢😭😭 so stupid of me!!!

@TherapyExplained Год назад

It's hard to make decisions when we don't have our parents support. I hope this video was helpful in your journey to healing your father wound.

@jacintasimon9388 Год назад

@@TherapyExplained you can make decisions even if you dont have support you can develope yourself and your emotional intelligence and you can trust yourself in going forward in life and have a loving relationship even if family childhood was really bad..i am an example..people need tools of empowerment..love kindness compassion..but first need to leave people pleasing and victim mentality..need to have love compassion kindness for themselfs no matter what! Faith in God as well..faith that everything is happening for a reason and will work out in their favour.

@roseebud Год назад

Sounds like my dad. I feel you.

@leeaschmidt2490 Год назад

@@jacintasimon9388thank you

@mcarlos84 8 месяцев назад

You’re not stupid at all. You did exactly what’s expected of children. You listened to your dad. Within the traditional model of parenting, that’s what a good child should do. Your pain is not due to your stupidity, it’s the result of the flawed parenting model in which you were raised. I wish you the best in your healing journey.

@angeltupi 2 месяца назад

Dear Deniss, thanks for yr great video. As a father fighting to see my daughter more than an hour per week may I put you a question. Many women, even some specialists in the custody area mean that children need basically one fix person, i.e. a stable one. If there's an additional one, then better. But basically children can with an appropriate main-person, with someone there for them, grow up good enough. The assertion that a child necessarily needs a father is false, they say. What is your position on those assertions? Thanks a lot.

@caravanbauguin Год назад

😞❤ thank you for this video. so true

@fieryblaze75 Год назад

This explains so much

@shahilagh Год назад

My dad was the most responsible man I ever met oh my life which means the rest were completely bastads and it is because I never had support so I was very capable and men compared themselves to me instead of supporting me and I never knew how it is to attract support . So I don’t get into relationships because I know I attract bad things so I stay myself horrible

@Imsoprettyyk Год назад

Thank you for this video and I like ur voice 😊

@moroyal7813 Год назад

You are awesome

@DraReynaSilis 10 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@ingagwiji3433 Год назад

New Subby and I'm here to stay 💃 I have a lot of catching up to do. I need all these videos

@TherapyExplained Год назад

So glad you are here!

@kristinbrown5885 Год назад

Well. I was born 9. Months after my father returned from War in Viet Nam. He was heavily exposed to agent orange.

@ShibaniSur 9 месяцев назад

Thank you 🤍

@carlaa3623 6 месяцев назад

He hates and loves me at the same time its like in ongoing war of both why ?

@ryandenardo1427 7 месяцев назад

My Dad died when I was 2.

@Heyokasireniei468sxso Год назад

@fauzianalwoga1002 Год назад

Recently lost my mom and i can't leave with my father and his family

@thementalhealthproject2020 Год назад

💯💯💯

@Academiacaramelcurlz Год назад

My father has NEVER been there. Don’t know the man and don’t see anything wrong with his absence. I honestly believe a man’s role is to protect and provide… a mother’s role is to nurture her child. I know there’s always been this push for men to remain apart of the family fold, but I don’t believe it’s in a man’s nature (as a collective) 🙌🏽

@3313xx Год назад

If he’s never there though how is he going to protect and provide? I do think a child feels unsafe and will probably think it did something wrong if its father is actually absent for a prolonged time.

@Academiacaramelcurlz Год назад

@@3313xx A child would only think something’s wrong if they have a notion of what a family’s dynamic should be. And I didn’t say a father shouldn’t be there at all.. mine wasn’t…. but I’m saying fathers can be present to some degree … just not in the capacity of a nuclear family. I think they should be there to provide the necessities and protection is apart of provision.

@npjm.99 Год назад

They are also supposed to show their daughters how a man is supposed to treat her. If hes emottionally unavailable tthe daughter is starved for that love and connecting and therrefore seeks that connection in her adult relationships, which gets messy.

@nihaoMoFei 9 месяцев назад

❤❤❤

@VultureXV 10 месяцев назад

My mom had to take antibodies suppressant to prevent hemolytic disease. I'm curious if that affects me.

@JamieR Год назад

Thanks for these videos! You have a relatable, easy to follow and to the point approach with actionable steps. Really appreciate it 😊 btw, Do you have any recommendations for the best therapy modalities worth exploring for healing CPTSD from childhood until adulthood?

@SurvivorRevive Год назад

Hope you don't mind me hopping in here. I have CPTSD. A combo of therapy (CBT), healthy nutrition, yoga and psilocybin mushrooms have completely changed my life for the better. Psychedelics are a bit controversial though and they aren't suitable for everyone. I also hear really great things about EMDR. Hope this helps!

@silviacantor431 2 года назад

Muy bien. Que pasen Buenas noches 🥱.

@TherapyExplained 2 года назад

gracias! :)

@robertafierro5592 Год назад

I'm trying hard to watch this..

@kidscreativekreativeideen549 Год назад

What about narcisstic father and I was Always the black sheeps and scapegoat....

@QueXLcior Год назад

She can’t get the help she needs because we lost her trust by the way we treated and raised her when she needed help. She doesn’t trust us anymore as you can see she is protecting herself from us because we had indeed forfeited her trust due to our clear and obvious harmful actions or inactions on our part. So yes, we are partly responsible for her difficulties in overcoming the struggles she faced.

@QueXLcior Год назад

My dad was never very nice to me. I never really felt safe, liked or loved with him because he could say mean things or just put off an energy that he just didn’t respect my life or my feelings at all. Towards the ending of our relationship he was straight up calling me names, downplaying me constantly and was just generally awful in the way he treated me. He was constantly mean, specifically to me, all the time. It went beyond logic.

@queen111angel Год назад

@@QueXLcior I feel you! Sometimes is better to cut off those kind of people from our lives at the same time forgiving and detach❤ That's what I did

@gregmichael1236 Год назад

How can I work with you . I want to show up for myself more in the world & have a negative judgement around my father . Then Shame on myself .

@carolcasey5441 Год назад

Keshava ♥️? ♥️

@adaptercrash Год назад

Some guy puts himself to the side perfect puts you in a containment it's the relationship with female siblings they trigger him and focus problem onto you they don't help just make it worse

@OneSwan 11 месяцев назад

How do heal when our father hated us?

@karianned3211 Год назад

Best ways to heal?

@gabrielleaumont3971 Год назад

My father, dsre i say thst word, wss a grown, fat TODDLER. My mother said she only noticed that , once i came along. He reverted to babyhood, became useless and jealous . Another child for her to care for. It would have been better for me if i never knew him. Useless , dsngerous , i never had any respect for him. Was relieved when he finally smoked himself to death.

@dabeezkneez8716 3 дня назад

I'm sorry for your experience.

@user-gg7pb5cd2h Год назад

what you say is great, although I daren't write here in comments, as I Do go ON AND ON AND GET VERY BORING AND NOBODY READS. So, I'll just have to read/listen over and digest&dictate into Word my responses. Best I can do. Thank you very much, anyroad! “KjierstenSedDat!!!!”