The hard truth about making your dreams come true | Mel Robbins 

And that's that, Bucko!

I absolutely agree! As someone that can be CRAZY hard on myself, it boggles my mind, how if I had seen someone else do the same things that I did, I would be patting the dude on the back and saying yo good job brother way to get out there and do shit and get shit going! But instead, I set standards for myself so high that when I don't reach perfection or the ideal goal which I think I should be able to reach I get mad at my own self. I have also been the kind of guy to be helping other people that can't help themselves their entire lives because I always thought "Oh I can take care of myself when the time or need arrives." But the truth is those people never wanted to change, they made me waste my time and energy and commitment into them, and they made me feel comfortable about myself since I was always in a better set up position than them.

NewUXtremeFitness i can relate heavily , currently 23 and im a mess but was trying to fix my gf of 2 1/2 years and now she is leaving me , ghosting me and now im left a mess and shes the only thing i felt good about in my life. Now im severely depressed, severe anxiety and bad insomnia wondering if my life is just too broken to fix.

@@TyroneBiggums789 Bro I just came out of a 4 year long relationship this January. Life was hell the initial month. Especially the first few days, then 2 weeks. The 2nd month things were a bit better. Then kept getting better still from there on out. Today in September of 2019 (along with a couple of other things I did to broaden my thinking and my mind) I am the HAPPIEST I have ever been in my entire life. The pain of heartbreak is the best and worst thing imaginable for a man. It's the worst for obvious reasons you are feeling right now. It's the best if over time you realize you can only do what you can do, which is to work on yourself and making yourself a better version than your previous self. That's what I have ended up doing and am stil following the path for. I know it's cliched brother, but Time WILL heal everything. You just have to have patience and understanding for yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself. Just love yourself like you would your brother/sister/mother/father going through the same thing. I have gone from the lowest of lows at the age of 29 to the highest of highs today at the age of 30. It is never too late to improve and enjoy the quality of your own life.

@@IntellectualMuscle thanks man I really needed that , im currently 23 unemployed and living at my parents after the breakup and feeling completely hopeless but your kind words helped a little

How old are you

I love that quote

@@divit2252 26

@@Staroy You can't plant a tree when you were 6 years old. so don't worry about it. You can start now

32 old here and I still feel like a kid :/

Montessori is a good start

That what Boy Scouts is about...

You can’t teach everything in school. Some things are learned from experience, critical thinking, and being true to who you are. That you can’t teach in school

Robert Jones Self sufficiency should be taught at home by good parenting. Give kids wings to fly..that’s a job well done.

It is, some parents are enablers & dependency becomes habit because it’s all that’s known.

Awesome

The only way to succeed is if you help yourself otherwise your fucked if you cant do things on your own without the help of others. (Sometimes its necessary to get help but not all the time)

Lol horrible , there are people who still appreciate us, Even if we cant realize. Yes there is still people who dislike us, but who cares what other thinks right? Its time to shift your mentality, Stop watching the news they are sickening and try to feel connected with the universe. The more you love nature and people who love, the more positive people you will attract. They are there, they are just hard to find, But they will come if you are positive.

You need more likes ! You are so correct

💖💖💖 So true.

Keep moving forward that's brilliant

Yes , if you can parent yourself , you can parent someone else. And a couple of your own children. And bigger then that , you can parent a group of people and become their leader.

It's a total wake up call.

self-discipline is the hardest thing to do in a well-off world. those with much less struggle real hardships and don't have time to complain about the wrong type of dietary milk in their skimmed latte or what celebrity faked their sex tape.

@@julijakeit well said but u can meditate breathing exercises fr 5 mins from ur 24 hours n then watch this video.. it may help you.. just a kind suggestion.. however I totally agree with you..

No one likes the sound of his or her own voice. I wonder if James Earl Jones or Morgan Freeman cringe when they hear their own recorded voices.

TP you are ABSOLUTLY correct

I didn’t notice any screeching. Thought it was funny and cute speech.

@@graybeard222 Even if they do, no one's going to tell Darth Vader he has a weird voice. I mean, not if they want to go on living anyway.

Don’t fking lie you stupid feminist. It was offensively screechy I almost stopped watching

It’s never too late…. Ever💞

This is so true Ted. Great Comment. That's my fascination with sports and sporting achievements.

Jazzitay Kreationz awesome ❤️ how is it going?

It's never too late to learn!

Thanks for writing that. I'm 38 and felt guilty to realize the same thing.

Jazzitay Kreationz - amen sister

Simon Ben Natan I’m 39. Me too! 🙈

lJ Draws the hardest

So very true. Something I struggle with still...

That's true

True. My parents never teach me to do anything, even before college...

I feel you

Such a good advice. Thanks a lot.

It's true. I put off my programming project for a week, then started and did it morning to evening for a week. And learned a ton while doing it. Another useful cue for getting up and doing things is considering if the task at hands takes you 2 minutes to do. If it does, do it now! If you follow this advice I promise - your home, workdesk and looks will never be a mess because their maintenance consists of a ton of small changes for the better.

This is how I actually feel when I get told to wash the dishes, either by my mom or by myself out of necessity. At first I'd always feel reluctant to do it, but shortly after that, I would get into a rhythm and start to actually like what I'm doing.

I literally never feel like doing anything difficult unless I just start

So true

Samrat Sengupta truth !

Samrat Sengupta: yes. But sometimes telling yourself everything will be all right doesn't work! I'm even more injured than I was before (since my accident) because nobody helped me in the ways I need - including housing, healthcare and services. I even pat myself on the back when I've done the food shopping and put it away = exhausting; I give myself a MEGA pat on the back if I SAW everything on the list and bought it. Hope is good but sometimes actually delay KILLS.

Jenny Hughes Sorry to hear about the hell you had to go through and something tells me your ordeals aren't over yet( just guessing by your tone). I wasn't contradicting Mel. I get what Mel says here and am actually inspired to be a strict parent to myself. I am awfully lazy and unmotivated. I was just pointing out another aspect of self parenting where sometimes you need to hear a kind word to spur you up and you yourself have to do that. That's all I meant.

Your addition to Mel's advice should be higher up. If you keep telling yourself 'you're just not pushing hard enough' and never anything else, it'll ruin your self-esteem. *thumbs up*

ExtraTerrestrialDust = as above for Samrat Sengupta: yes but sometimes it REALLY helps if OTHERS give us a pat on the back = everyone needs that.

Jesus is there for you.

@@danniegrimm Really isn't.. Apparently I'm not worthy enough... in his or gods eyes...

If you need reasurence or answers or proof, then ask for it and in time you will receive. Because those who cry out for help shall receive it.

@@danniegrimm Unfortunately not.. for 6 years I prayed for a child (brother or sister) and for 3 of those years I met a man and fell in love and he wanted the same with me.. for 3 Yrs lots of baby making and nothing happened.. Yet my ex partner was a horrible and nasty man causing no about of mental and emotional pain to me and those around him, plus is partner who did the same to her family and children.. They got Blessed with a child and possibly second. Apparently in Jesus and God's eyes I should have been more like my ex..

​@@misslanapford9169 I can not really help you over the internet in a youtube comment. That is what church communities are for. I can only tell you this. Many Christians use God like vending machine. "I want this, and this and this" But God is not interested to give you what you want, he wants to give you what you need to make you successful, to achieve greatness. A good parent also doesn't give their child candy just because they cry for it. To much candy makes you sick. Instead ask God what is his plan for your life. Because his plan for you is much greater then any plan you could imagine for yourself. You said you want to be saved, then let God lead you. Trusting in God is like a dance. Let him lead you and he will show of your beauty.

Hello Paula, how are you doing?

@James Hurst this isn't Tinder. Don't be a creep.

smoothandchunky1 lovvvvvve that!!! 😘

That's short yet really poignant

Great quote!

That sounds like a good t-shirt or bumper sticker quote.

I love this so much💙💙💙💙💙

me aswell Gina, as a single mother of 5 little raskals myself its so reliving to know that someone shares my sentiment. Much luck to you - Brenda

Charlene Bernard how much do you make a year now?

Dream Dream Serene it’s not that serious. They could just say no.

Yup so right

Yeah!

Erica Aguilar Yes, you’ll always have to push yourself - it’s a good reminder to have in your life everyday! Xo

@Jake State Farm calm down buddy. if this woman helped her, good. edit: i searched up that david guy. what's so intersting about him? he sounds like every instagram "motivational speaker"

HA! I did the same thing!

from what list of rules?

Jordan Peterson's 12 rules for life

If we have a major accident I hope the doctors/ambulance will come = must do it yourself? If there's a fire will the fire-trucks come? If a burglery will the police come - and actually DO something? If we are isolated and flat on back with pain = still nobody comes to help? I know how THAT feels and is, it's HELL.

@@jennyhughes4474 I agree, sometimes we need others to help pick us up to keep moving forward

GOOD WORD! *REPARENTING.*

"because inspiration is just like a cute girl that might smile at you at the bar but won't come over by herself" That's because she is with her boyfriend!

I like this!

Life will give you hurdles, jump over them as best you can, keep moving on have a vision guys

Commit to always do the right thing no matter how difficult it may be. Know that being responsible in all things is the key to a happy life. If you get bored it is because you lack responsibility. Good luck and never ever ever give up! May God Bless You!

How are you doing now 4 yrs later?

Health is a very unstable thing and not fully healthy people achieve things too. Actually, most of the people on Earth have at least one issue with their health.

Exactly if health is good u can do anything

Yes!! Was just about to mention this. In this context, Peterson also says that we have to "negotiate with ourselves".

Feel talks Your telling everyone to cultivate an emotion to get motivated and that might take too long. You have to start studying things that you think will make a difference in your life before you have the positive emotion. You have to go on that diet or exercise program now if that's what needs to be done. You take some steps in the right direction even if they are small ones regardless of how you feel & you'll probably feel more positive because your learning things and making progress. The jealous lion in the jungle doesn't wait until he's secure and well adjusted to go to war with other lions so he can get girls, he just does it. Sometimes a negative emotion can motivate you when you don't have another emotion to motivate you and it will turn into a more positive emotion later. If you fail after being motivated to do something by a negative emotion, you will at least have learned something and the process of learning things can make you more positive.

Wrong

Wow, that was beautifully written !

​@@reneeharold7335 Awesome response! Thank you. I agree with you that something positive could come out of an action fuelled by negative emotion. The danger in that though, is that one might base their reason for action on something either entirely meaningless or hurtful (if the jealous lion gets girls just to get back at an ex instead of fostering healthy relationships). Feeling depressed and unsupported by my family was my BIGGEST motivation to work hard, save money, and GTFO ASAP. From my experience, I obviously do believe that pain can lead to motivation. BUT, ultimately i still wasn't mentally well. So although i was eventually able to physically remove myself from the toxic environment (which mentally helped me tremendously), i still had/have very unhealthy and self-harming thoughts. I think all i meant to say back then is we should practice self-love -- even if it takes a lifetime. Now I'm not saying "don't do anything else in the meantime!" Yes, take the actions you can, but take them because you believe in them and because they feed a positive self-image/ emotion.

All the best trust God

💪 You're very strong.

stay strong bruh! ❤️

Poet Victoria Hunter Go get it girl, your parents are watching you from up above, remember that you’re never alone.

God doesn't exist, but you do and you're powerful.

Yo Melanie that’s what’s up! Lol I see you really applied this. Congrats homie!

Robert Lopez I agree. I suffer from anxiety, depression, and inattentive ADHD, so doing the things I don’t like, it absolutely horrible, and it triggers symptoms of my mental illnesses. We all need someone in our life. Humans were not made to be by ourselves. We need friends, family, even professional helpers, like social workers, therapist, and coaches. I understand what she is saying, but we all need help, it makes life better

Maya Pace sorry maya you are wrong Think about how many years humans have survived without all of that ”help”

Netasha Neuhaus people had there communities before you had mental health professionals. Humans are social creatures. People need people, so I disagree with you. People need support systems of any kind.

Netasha Neuhaus surviving and living are two TOTALLY different things. Humans cannot strive in isolation (ie, Covid)

Syn Cty oh yes they can, read, take a course, apply for new jobs ( speaking from experience) I just signed a contract for a fantastic job, work out, paint ! List goes on 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you are raised being responsible and being encouraged to make decisions on your own you will do it naturally. And some people who need to grow up so quick due to their families' hardship they will do it automatically also.

Those that get offended by swear words tend to be the ones who do shady shit behind people's back. Never trust those that want to uphold rules that they themselves don't follow

elosmilealways LOL that’s often true. Not for every single person, and I respect anyone’s attempt to walk the straight and narrow, but I agree with you. 😂

It’s more honest. I swear all the time. A lot of people do. If it doesn’t resonate with you watch something else.

i loved the swearing personally.

Swearing in a speech is a gimmick to keep the audience's attention.

and NOT telling little kids that they are always great and always get trophies. it was disastrous.

Well this doesn't really apply to what path you choose. It applies to making progress on what you actually want to do. A great example here, I love playing guitar. I really, REALLY love doing that. But I tend to get carried away and just noodle around for a hour, because it feels good to play stuff I already know. I need to kick myself into practicing something new, that I will probably enjoy in the future, but right now I really don't feel like it. It's not so much about doing what you don't want to do, it'd about stepping out of your own comfort to get shit done

turbo2ltr I’m 18 and I’m thinking of running away once I get a scholarship because they will never let me go

Sushitrash follow your heart!

@@Terebithia when you're 40 to 50 years old, you'll think differently when you realize your parents won't be around forever. That's just reality. Best of luck in everything!

Des Herbert She was so talking directly to me🤣

wedoebe and to me too

Unfortunately in elementary school they are teaching children about sex & drag queens, sex w/same sex, it’s disgusting what’s going on

And how or what did you do? Any advice for someone who feels the same at late 20s? 🙁

Joselyn548 yeah. Get your shit together.

I vividly remember feeling that way because it was hard to face the fact that I never got the acceptance and push I need as a kid, and I never ever could go back being a kid and experience being brought up in a home where the adults and siblings could be available. So maybe I could someday relate to the kids who weren't emotionally neglected.. And it was sad to hear people say "Nobody's going to wait on you doing your thing. Nobody's going to save you" because it felt like I'm not worth people's time, and I can't do anything right, and I'm just a bother.. When I hear Mel's words now, it rings very differently in my ears. I'm starting to see the patterns of my behaviors, and starting to be able to identify my feelings and sort out my thoughts. Writing in my journal has been very helpful. And finding out more about ADHD in children and adults has been very insightful, I can connect the dots, and I have people all over that I can relate to. I truly do believe in myself now, that I can do something for myself by myself. I have found what I want to do with my life. And I'm excited for what's to come. I hope when the time you hear those words again come, it'll hit you differently too.. Best of luck 😊

I dont get it, noone likes to be pushed?

EMERY FAMILY thank you! Xo

Same here.... 💯

I didn't experience a neccesarily happy childhood or supportive parents, however I've made my peace with it, though I understand what you mean when you say you feel envy when you meet people who always got to be children or had supportive parents etc etc... yes, she shouldn't assume every1 had an amazing childhood or supportive parents but at the same time, if something like that triggers painful memories for you then it sounds like you need to come to terms with it, and I don't mean it in a patronizing talking-down-to-you kind of way, I mean it in a self accepting kind of way, that if you face these people again in the future and they trigger these memories you wouldn't feel envy or sadness or some negative emotion...you would just be like yeah that's how my life started but I've got my shit together and I'm gonna make my dreams (your dreams) come true. Have a good one 👌

Noel G Daniel Nope - nobody! 😘

Mel Robbins , What a brilliant idea! A program (perhaps run or funded by the government) that you can voluntarily sign up for, where someone WILL come (by phone or otherwise) , and push you, and scold you, and make sure you are doing the things you need to do and want to get done (even if you don't want to do them). Maybe even reward you for getting them done. Especially useful for those of us who are very depressed and in a terrible rut, and don't know how to get out of it. I was a semi successful software engineer, though I hated my job 75% of the time. Then I lost my last job years ago. Having already been mildly depressed, and through a series of subsequent events, and no motivation to find a new job in my field of expertise (now severely atrophied), I slipped into an ever more depressive state. I almost pulled myself out of it 3 years ago, but slipped and came crashing down worse than before. And now I'm so regressed into a state of childish living with little to no responsibility. Spending 80% of my waking day fiddling on my computer. Aimless. With no idea what I want to commit myself to, because a) I want to do 1001 different things and b) I'm terribly indecisive. And c) I'm afraid that whatever I decide will be wrong, I'll come to hate it and have wasted loads of time pursuing it. (Which seems silly given how much time I've now wasted being a sloth). So now I feel like it would be useful if someone DID come, and took me by the hand, perhaps helped identify what my true passions and capabilities are that translate into a fulfilling career, then showed me what I need to do (based on realistic goals), and essentially made me do them. Scolding me (in some fashion) for not doing them, and rewarding me for getting them done. Again this would be completely voluntary. If only there were a program or service that did that for people. Why isn't our government funding things like that instead of the obscene amounts of money they waste on other things.

P.s. This is the first video of yours I've seen. Having just come up in recommended videos. I've just subscribed.

I'm coming !!!!

People only care a little bit. The rest of the caring has to come from you. No oe cares enough to do it all for you. It hurts. Sending peace your way.