I have embraced my hermit self. I don’t look for outside validation anymore. What a relief !! I’m 65 and female, I did the relationships, kids, houses, jobs, pets, the whole thing, been around, done a lot. I’m finished !! Seriously, I’m done !! I just chill, I’m also autistic I recently discovered, so I have special interests a plenty. I’m never bored. I spend most of my time alone and happily so. My life is simple and calm.
51 year old female INFJ here. This video resonates so much. It takes a true INFP to understand an INFJ ☺️! Yes, I feel existentially lonely sometimes because of Ni. Life seems at times pointless, it is difficult to find meaning. I try to find it through volunteering. I do not always find the right words to express myself. That is why I am sometimes inventing words which feel right to me 🤓. Indeed, I am an idealist and I want to change the world and would want to fight for that. But I prefer to do this in little things. Like picking up litter from the street and putting it in the bin. Thanks for your insights ! The internet is a fantastic place to connect with other Ni users. I feel less alone because of that.
I met another INFJ and it completely changed how I see myself. He was so calm, so in control of his space. It was otherworldly to talk with him. We are friends and have these deep conversations. I am light years ahead of him in my development (he's in his early 30s & I'm in my mid 50s), so my insights are a little more polished than his. Still, I realize that I am seeing myself from the outside... and I stopped questioning what people see in me.
It's so scary how you said three words l used to describe the state of the world to my sister yesterday... l texted her *"PEOPLE are the problem... They are greedy, selfish & unconscious."* I swear to God (even though l am not religious 😅) hearing you say at 12:22 "You can't help noticing the #greed, the #selfishness, the lack of #consciousness around you..." that statement gave me chills because of how identical the sequence and word choice you used was to my text to my sister (wish l could post screenshots on RU-vid as proof😂, it's so uncanny)... Nonetheless, the aforementioned serendipitous happenstance further consolidates what l said in my last comment on your channel; you sir are truly an INFJ/MBTI Whisperer lol. I am super grateful you were born ❤🙏🏽✨️ keep up the great work!
There isn't a way around the belief that society's values are hollow, without understanding that it is only because the citizenry are superficial, odd or dim witted. Which is logically obvious. Yet there is this presupposition that INFJs have some sort of non-discriminating desire for people contact. That does not really add up. In truth, most people must be considered to be of little interest to INFJs. While those who are worthwhile knowing are going to be rare and leading busy lives.
Your first point has a lot of truth to it, but I suspect it may go deeper than that (though admittedly risks wandering into tin-foil-hat territory)... Society and the citizenry are likely superficial and dim because they have been _trained and incentivized_ to be so by a few at the top of the social hierarchy who are either innately the same way or understand that such a society is easy to stay at the top of. INFJs are among those who can see (mostly) past the BS, even if we have no clue how to address it or wake other people up to it _en masse._
Darling we constantly judge. We also judge how our insights will be accepted so we keep them to ourselves unless we see a path to improvement with our shared wisdom. My personal technique to escape the dystopia feeling is to compare Now to 100 years past. Health care, technology, education, politics and most societal functions are greatly improved since then. I find hope in this ❤
I keep forgetting how calming INFP energy is... I am the epitome of an INFJ with ADHD. I have so much going on at one time that it often feels like I'm going to break. The odd thing is... when I finally snap... it all becomes clear and calm.
@@Nathanelder.expressthis OMG! Yes! That is exactly it! I love talking to other INF's! We have language for so many things that other people don't. When I stop resisting... things go smoothly. I was so worked up to date... now that I'm over it... I have some truly aspirational people asking me out.
This is so true of me as an INFJ. I’ve achieved so much in my own. Though I have acquired all of what I considered is important -education a house etc I feeel very deeply that this are not source of my satisfaction. So true about the urge to connect to people but when I’m with the. I ah e to dial down the depth of topics I want to talk about. I’m now embarking to a 10 day meditation retreat where there no contact to the outside world and minimal interaction with others in the group. Becaue this is exactly how I feel , while my worldly needs I have acquired for myself they are too shallow to give me taht deep sense of satisfaction. There’s always more to seek. And I don’t get how people clamour for getting material stuff that gives them sense of who they are. I can buy a lot of stuff that most people want but I can’t as they don’t give me any meaning.
Thank you for sharing these insights. All of them resonated with me, and the last point was especially powerful. Since I was young, it seemed obvious to me that so much was wrong in the world; yet I was told that there was something wrong with me (depression). My response was, how can you actually look at this situation and NOT be depressed? It took many years for me to understand that most people weren't seeing the same world that I saw.
Your second point may explain why I feel like the quarter-life crisis I started struggling with in my mid-twenties never really went away and has instead blended and morphed into the mid-life crisis I'm now facing in my early 40's. I'll need to think on this quite a bit...
When someone has a new project or acquisition and you empathically reinforce their enthusiasm, they think you want the same things but you don't and there's a sudden sense of dread as you have to wriggle out of that misunderstanding... You were just being kind and now look lol.
Yeah, it’s like, can’t I just be happy for your progress as a human being and enforce the sense of growth that you have without you telling me the best monthly rate for a Toyota
Absolutely! It's so hard to explain some of the stuff as words are often not giving the exact meaning to what the contextual and coherent thought is in the brain. Which is why I try to remain silent most of the times... But with some people I do like to make the effort only if I can feel they're willing and patient enough to hear.
Yes, when there’s that clear collision of mind and the sense of understanding is there, so much can be easier to express. I almost find that it’s like you have access to a more abstract part of the mind with the right people - so the symbolic aspect of words hold more weight
Misunderstandings are probably the thing that bothers me the most. I say what I see as truth, but the other person isn't hearing truth instead it seems to come out wrong, and the truth I share leads to an argument. Misinterpretations, misunderstandings, or simply a bad choice of words but it is consistent. So I now am much more guarded and less eager to share. And I love being with my cats, so I'm never really all that alone.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This resonates with me (INFJ speaking). Although, speaking of the desire to connect with people... What I struggle with apart from that, is finding someone who I could share this yearning for the deep connection, so that it is not one-sided. But I'm afraid in my case it's always been one-sided. People find this kind of connection to be too intense. The cannot share it. They cannot understand. And this brings much pain to me. I end up having to set them free, because otherwise I feel so incredibly selfish expecting from them the same level of connectedness that I have to them. It is unbearable. The feeling of loneliness is just suffocating. As for the fourth struggle... Oh yes, thoughts about the imperfection of the world come so often. In my case, it's not as much about people not living to their potential, but about the lacking of a holistic understanding of the meaning.. or purpose behind the existence of the world in general. Why are we here? What is the purpose or role of humanity? Why there is suffering? I feel a great compassion for humanity because we all are in the same boat, traveling where the river carries us, blindly. But I have hope that we all are gonna be fine in the end.
The level of Grief that comes with knowing that nothing will satisfy me and that no one my age understood it was wow; still struggling to be honest. Thanks for this video. Ho and the language thing? I switch languages without thinking because the words are not precise enough and gg translate gets tiring . 😄 Brilliant video.
Yup, lol. 1. Experienced years with a few people at the deepest/closest/rarest kind of connection imaginable. The kind I (and many others who got to see us interact/communicate said as well) never really witness elsewhere. Connections so valuable and meaningful, I'm forever grateful. Yet.. The perpetual desire to be alone and in my own mind's disastrous paradise was/is it's eternal equal in the tug of war of preference from one over the other... 2. More like around 10yr old really, but pretty much a constant and almost all encompassing indeed. Like between being homeless to owning a multifloored 5 bedroom house with a private pool, it basically made no fundamental difference to me internally or changed/affected who I am, besides providing their own set of lessons etc. What's interesting though is that there's no meaning to anything, yet everything has a meaning. 3. Having moved to the US a couple years ago and thus English being my second language here made this even more frustrating.. Though fairly fluent, having taught myself. When complex nuance is considered very necessary and important in conveying thoughts, intention, ideas etc. When it's already a struggle by default in avoiding any misunderstanding, but now adding this additional shortcoming, I find myself repeating myself multiple times by trying to say the same thing with different words, because the prior tries didn't feel satisfactory and lack clarity and needing to explain words required that are currently absent in my vocabulary. Which is extremely frustrating and annoying to me, which tend to discourage me to even start and rather spare any person the burden of confusion in addition to trying to follow. Although 9/10 people don't even care enough, I nonetheless will probably chose to say nothing or very little over superficial/incompleteness, can't help it, trust me. If you do hear me ramble on about something you might deem insignificant, just know in my head that is what is happening about everything, all day, every day, since I can remember. Like this comment lol. 4. Simple. The world, humanity as a whole and common individual mentality is.... Pff, don't get me started. 4.5 Simple. Seeing the possible positive potential across the board wins at the end of the day. - Anyway, thanks for the video!
This INFJ has only ever really wanted one thing: a real FAMILY, who wants to STAY. As in, stay WITH me, so it can even be long distance at times, but to KNOW they’re actually ON MY SIDE and love me enough to WANT to be with me. Unfortunately, pretty sure I’ll reach the end of life before that happens. The next primary thing is to be USEFUL for and towards others, no matter how hard I work, feels like I’m failing that too. Any INFJ’s/INFP’s feel the same?
The family who want to stay with me and are always on my side are my animal friends and I'm Extremely grateful for all of them over the years. Others (a few humans) care but not enough to really bother trying to understand what makes me tick. Feeling useful is a necessity for me and easier to achieve before I retired. Perhaps you can find your family amongst animal friends too...we are always useful to them if we find them as important as I do.
Wow, I think you have just described me to the tea at exactly how I think I want to connect but I also incredibly enjoy my time alone. It is often puzzling to people around me, especially my roommates. I am always finding myself explaining that if I seem unsocial, it is, certainly not because of anything or anyone outside of myself, I’ve often been called an enigma due to the paradoxes that are so easily seen on the outside however, I do realize, and am aware of the struggle I do have with these types of paradoxes and always have throughout my life. Thank you for sharing this wonderful video. It is such a comfort to hear someone speak so well about some of the challenges that are often hard almost impossible for me to explain in words which you have beautifully done. Thank you.
I'm constantly searching for the correct words to describe things. I tend to have a very specific word/words in mind and sometimes it takes a while for them to percolate up through my consciousness. Writing can be more satisfying than speaking when trying to express myself. 🙂
Hey! Thanks so much for this! I am someone, an infj, who struggles with self hatred. I work through it everyday but it continues to be greatly insightful to run into videos like this. Keeps me self-aware. Keep it up pleaseee! ;) Also, im very curious as to where you are from, if you don't mind me asking.
Hey :) The self hatred seems to be a common theme in INFJs, (Fi) trickster maybe? Do you feel as though it’s because of certain thoughts in particular? Or just the general feeling of self hatred? I was born in the UK, but spend almost my whole life in different parts of Australia!
Hi Nathan, Thanks so much for responding! Yes, I've done a fair bit of research over the years about Ni-Ti Loop or something along those lines. I feel as though my inner world is very self-demining and it causes me to compare myself with others. (looks, work ethic, and all of the above). But it is also, the general feeling of self-hatred and the wishing to be someone else. I think that, for me, I've lived with it for so long that it doesn't feel as bad as it sounds but is it just as bad as it sounds. ahahaha. I thought your video was great though, it scared me how accurate you were with your points. It was like you were reading my everyday thoughts hahaha! @@Nathanelder.expressthis
it is like looking into the mirror seeing your videos, it is scary how much you get the INFJ people. I am really hopeless at the moment with my personal situation, having lost my job recently and having interviews, but getting rejected plus the situation in the world with climate change, wars, economic downturn and shit, so it is really hard to not become a cynic and shut off compeltely as an idealist, so especially the last point hits home hard. I volunteer, I try to do a little in my private life, but it feels like a drop in the ocean. also the first point is spot-on, on the one hand I am excited to meet my family for christmas and stuff, on the other hand I need my alone time and have developed over the recent years so much away from them, I know already in advance I will crave to be away from them a week in later and have the feeling they do not really understand me, my values, my goals, it is like we live on two different planets.
Hang in there, fellow kindred spirit. I know how tough the ravages of the chaotic, every changing life can be... and I can fathom how heavy constant disappointments can feel and take a toll on our soul. But the chaos of life, while can be the source of much of our misery, can also be a beacon of hope. stay vigilant for the chances that emerge amidst the chaos, I wish the best for you, hopefully in the near future :) Stay strong my friend, we can get through it :D
Absolutely I get tongue tied, struggling to find the words to describe what I am thinking and feeling. I SO enjoy not talking. Unless it is with my dog lol.
New sub. Thanks for the in depth analysis of INFJ PT❣️ Even today, I sure wish more people were aware of this incredible tool (MBPI) that would help them to understand themselves and others in their lives. What a difference it would make. I love my divergence❣️
The fact that I barely receive any satisfaction from grand achievements in life are true, but I find myself feeling very content with the littlest of things life can offer. Being able to observe and experience life at large, especially in the nature, fills me with immense gratitude and satisfaction.
Your presence is so delightfully calming, and your insights? goodness knows how accurate and touching they are to me... It's quite awe-inspiring how understanding your are to matters... I don't share with anoyone, and when I try to express them they're not even misunderstood, just outright *not* understood :') Thank you, clearly, for being on this platform. I await enjoying your presence much more in the future 💙 and honestly, the final point is very very accurate. The world can contain quite the beautiful small things, fleeting moments and experiences... but they are amidst a sea of much unpleasant intentions, feelings, actions it can be heart wrenching :') My religiois belief helps me a lot in that regard I admit. Treating this incomplete world as a test and a momentary phase allows me to keep a lot of my peace of mind in a way I cannot be thankful enough for... I wish you and everyone else a happy life and afterlife. Let us hang in there :)
It's definitely become even more acutely apparent the last 3 years, the disconnect and feeling in a different world for me. Shown even more starkly and unavoidably and has felt so big it's sometimes impossible to negotiate or compensate or tolerate in ways I did before. thank you!
Thank you for that. I'm 67 and only discovered this stuff about the MB test and INFJ about 4 years ago. Before then - I just thought I was annoying to most people. NOW it makes perfect sense of why I do the things I do and act the way I do. It's not pleasant to be constantly frustrated, but it's gratifying when someone like yourself lets me know I'm not broken, I'm just wired differently.
Living with CONSTANT DYNAMIC TENSION is T O U G H. Thank You P ~ for caring and sharing. xoxo And of course I love hearing you say "Ya'll " in your lovely vocal accent and speaking style - Thank you for also noting that seeing through things and having that unique penetrating vision from early age and finding out you are not going to enjoy fitting in and frankly as you follow your inner wisdom path you WONT FIT IN! It Is Isolating and a Hard though Meaningful Path that can lead to good works and spiritual inspiration. Best Regards
I hate it when seeing both prespective of an arguement and they are both right or wrong ... so you dont make a judgement and find yourself in a useless position 😂
As an INFJ, I completely agree. As a professor emerita and a psychotherapist, I think your videos are very good! (An aside: I wonder if the appeal of your videos would significantly increase.).
ENFP here - although never totally certain - but there is an amazing amount I identify with. Except that talking is probably my most favourite activity in the world.
Hello. I watched my parents early. I knew that I would never find happiness in the "attainment" of things. I knew things early on. The women who fostered my early childhood, were good women. So I took what they gave me and kept it close to my chest. I agree, the world s disconnected, selfish, and unconscious. I went into recovery, and for the most part I stayed sober. But in retrospect, I had seen the writing on the wall, many years ago. I would talk, and it would go in one ear and out the other, and never settle in their brains. People always thought me strange when I would point out the obvious. To the point that I finally took my leave of them. I could not longer deal with complacent douche bags. I also do little things to try and make a difference. Cleaning and garbage has become my daily chore in my building.
Thank you for your true opinion, really valuable insights especially in the vocabulary issue ,I do value a really succinct turn of phrase and even more so if itis artfully framed with so much going on inside the eternalising of any part if it , has to be refined to a fine art. Thank you for a very interesting view into my world , an appreciative INFJ.❤
There could be a series "100 INFJ struggles" , 4 per video. There is more then enough subject matter, I can assure that. If I'd pick our complete worst struggles, it would be Te blindspot (basically inattentive ADD), and extreme emotional sensitivity that effectively can sabotage our whole life if not even make us physically sick. Non related: Is there a way to stop my INFP from constantly running away when I try to solve an issue with calm, healthy communication, so it doesn't happen again? She'd rather run away from 5 minutes of small conflict and crate the same issue over and over for years, instead of solving it once by actually talking about it so it never happens again.
Tell her how you feel eg 'i feel ashamed because xy' or 'I feel angry because I hoped.. ' this way of being vulnerable allows the other person to have empathy and this will make her strong enough to solve the conflict because she will want to resolve the bad feelings of you because she can feel them now through the empathy
Yeah, there’s so much going on and when you’re highly perceptive it can be a tough ride. Hard to say with that one, I, as an infp, tend to lean into conflict almost too much sometimes. If it’s of a emotional nature. Have to been able to point out the pattern to her?
@@Nathanelder.expressthis Of course, I'm quite the "natural therapist" kind of infj. So I communicate these things quite easily and well with people, while making them feel not criticized. She's probably not your average infp, a bit less healthy in that way, I don't mean all are like that of course. I think she didn't say sorry in her life, every time blaming someone else, to the point it's a bit comical. It's the only close person I found is quite impossible to communicate with when it comes to any type of criticism. (She don't seem truly uncomfortable with conflict like infj's, she just doesn't mind cutting of communication any time it happens which is frustrating, as a bit of conflict solves things. It's more about avoiding criticism and responsibility then conflict.)
Unusual comment here but i'd love to ask if you need a video editor at the moment? i tried finding email but i couldn't, haha. have a good day and thank you for the video
