What personality type are you? I used to think I was an INFJ, but as I took more quizzes and understood the cognitive functions - I realized I was an INTJ. Being present is extremely difficult for this type. But when you do master meditation and being present as an INTJ - it is extremely therapeutic.
Unfortunately, this prevents me from taking criticism from people who aren't like me because the criticism is usually filled with bias and a general lack of understanding of the subject matter.
wow surprising amount of wisdom in this video for someone so young, (although you Cantrell your young from your problems/eating disorder well done), its funny ive been wondering why im so liked on the building site recently and id actually arrived at a similar conclusion about authenticity and almost that exact same day this video pops up.
I feel like this is one of those “in theory but not in practice things.” People think they want honesty from another person but in reality when you actually are an honest person, many people end up not being able go handle your honesty or disliking you. Meanwhile a lot of people who are good at lying or manipulating others and being dishonest end up being well-liked by everyone around them. Been in so many environments where this plays out. Even in dating scenarios, people say they want honesty but when they meet an honest person they cannot take it. Many actually prefer those who tell them what they wanna hear, instead of what they need to.
Yes, paradoxically I get what you’re saying here. As I had said in the video - the honesty that I’m attempting to convey here is the Self-ownership and settling into the self aspect. But yes, definitely a lot of people get ahead through disingenuous means.
Ah, you see that's actually a feature, not a bug. You certainly *can* lie and manipulate your way to approval in the short term, but it is exhausting and demoralizing to keep up thr act forever. The more you do it, the more you subconsciously recognize that the people in your life are there because they love the mask, not you. This can lead to all sorts of emotional problems- fear, shame, resentment, loneliness. Other people might not know, but you will. It can also lead to relational problems as you'll drive away people who value honesty and authenticity and bring in other people who value lying and cheating to get what they want, cause that's what you're doing too. Worse still, you can't reach out for support with all of those negative emotions you're racking up, cause to do so would reveal that you've basically been conning them to love you (weirdly, people who value lying and cheating to get what they want only appreciate it when *they* do it 🤔) On the flip side, when you're honest and authentic, you *will* drive some people away. This is a good thing because the people you drive away are the people who don't like or can't handle who you really are. This sounds bad, but it is actually an excellent filter to discover which people who do want to be with the real you. The realer you are, the more polarizing you become, and the easier it is to see who your real friends are
I think your misunderstanding the kind of honesty he's talking about, authentic people who are good at connections can discern when people want honesty and when they need encouragement, and or building up, a very self aware person for example would have a higher threshold for honesty about themselves, whereas someone who's less self aware would have a lower threshold, regardless though being honest has much wider applications than just being brutally honest with others. he actually gives a good definition of this around 11:00, although I would pushback on his version of good actually being very similar to what Jesus encourages, so despite him saying its not protestant it is still very christian in principle.
You can be honest and well liked. There's just a line between honesty and rudeness. If you are both honest and well manered you will be liked by true jenuine people who apreciate it. Only the nasty ones who don't like being called out on their bs won't like you
I'm 52 and have been interested in all things self-help for the vast majority of my life, yet your explanation feels like a revelation to me. I'm deeply thankful. xx
I have listened to a bunch of these I SFP RU-vids. This is definitely hands-down the best and most resonant one. Truly excellent elucidation! Thank you, so very helpful.
That identity fluidity I think can also be expressed as a very diverse persona, with such a big arrange of interests, passions, etc. Impossible to summarise in small talk 😅
Your second point may explain why I feel like the quarter-life crisis I started struggling with in my mid-twenties never really went away and has instead blended and morphed into the mid-life crisis I'm now facing in my early 40's. I'll need to think on this quite a bit...
I can't speak for other INFJs, but I know I tend to attend to other's emotions because I grew up in an environment where everyone had *ZERO* skill, energy or inclination to regulate their emotions. This was absolute *hell* for someone who absorbs the emotional energy of others whether they wanted to or not and is fundamentally unable to remove themselves from the situation. Putting other's emotional needs above my own was often a matter of psychic survival, as well as a roundabout attempt at moving towards my own need for calm and quiet. It rarely worked, of course, and unfortunately, though I am now in a somewhat better environment, the defense habits are still there and I don't know how to adjust them.
What are the fundamental differences between an INFP and INTJ with prominent Fi - can taking a structured approach to a creative project that follows a specific vision and exploiting the elements to maximise intended impact be an INFPs approach to art?
Very detailed examples were provided in this video! Great work! I fit most of everything that was stated in which these few differences can be explained by just being a unique individual impacted by life experiences and learning. I hope that you keep posting as I’m looking forward to viewing more. Thank you
I just found your channel. 52 year old INFJ here. Thank you so much for putting in words how we INFJs interact with the world. We're deep, intense, and highly misunderstood. Looking forward to more. Subbed. 👍🏻
I found the first very true, especially when house hunting surprisingly. Everything is about how I or it feels to me. If I was not bonded to the image of the house or an environment, or it gave a whiff of 1% negative feeling it was out. Feeling things deeply is a blessing and a curse!
main points (sorry i wanted take notes while watching and refer back to this when i rewatch this video T_T): 1. INFP is influenced through intuition with their environment, but ISFP is grounded and influenced through their physical environment/living spaces. so ISFP are stubborn about their own way of doing things or how they place things in their living spaces because it only feels right to them when done their way. 2. ISFP knows what is the magic/beauty they want in things/life, but they prefer to approach this process in their own pace. Other people rushing them makes them uncomfortable, they prefer marching to their own beat in their approaches to decisions/life. 3. ISFP hear people's stories and have the ability to feel the deep emotions the other person could have experienced (empathy?). But they struggle to communicate/express back that they understood those deep emotions to the other person. This is due to a lack of confidence/trust/awareness in their ability to express their emotions to others. Could be a fear of showing emotions? A lack of understanding/identifying/communicating their deep emotions? Instead, they give a generalised/surface level response to the other person. Making it appear as if the ISFP doesn't fully care/empathize with the person, which is not the case. Only highly intuitive people (INFP) can read between the lines of an ISFP's response to know they did understand and empathize with the story they shared, despite the ISFP's seemingly unemotional/unempathetic words. 4. ISFP's struggle with understanding/communicating their deep emotions can cause them to have a identity crisis. They need to be more aware, confident, and trusting of their abilities and be less fearful of showing emotions or being a perfect ideal to the public. They can express their emotional depth through artistic pursuits (art, dance, music) or communication (writing, poems, speaking) or home design (home decor, organizing of spaces). This is a method for them to understand their identity more. 5. I love how clear and easy to understand your video was , i used to be INFP when young but now i have more clarity in being aware and understanding my thoughts, feelings, and communication. I retook MBTI test and got ISFP and finally it feels more right and at place <3
I love this SO MUCH! Thank you for the beautifull things you said and how well you tried to explain everything. It made me feel so proud and appreciated for the way that I am😊Thank you! I'm proud to be an ISFP and I can TOTALLY relate. I don't know how to completely express the way I'm thinking but I can say that YES I do something if I feel connected to it. I like to feel what I'm doing. In a way I am grounded with the way that things and actions affect my state of being. I like to feel deeply the beauty in little things of our life. For example I feel such a deep connection with our nature, a feeling I can't explain but it makes me feel like home. I love drawing when I want to express the way I'm feeling and I want others to understand the beauty of that feeling that I had. Even if I feel good or bad, I think it's so beautifull that we can FEEL in general and CREATE. I truly think that creating unique things comes from our unique feelings. The best way in which someone can be unique is by listening to their soul because there is no other soul like ours. And the fact that I can express the beauty of my feelings and encourage others to realize and feel that too makes me so happy and fullfilled. I love helping others and making them happy with who they are and helping them follow their own heart.
Invasioning can also be a strange form of entertainment, but it also helps to see things from all angles. See it from beginning to end, I always complete it in the mind first. Oh, and why come to me with a problem unless you want me to help you solve it? lol
Intj girl here just crushing on your serene infp heart. I have greatly appreciated the Ne people in my life who have helped me to open up my perspectives and mental prisons I get myself into.
I'd say that just "going for it" is the best advise for us infj's. It shouldn't be perfect. It's the hardest thing, but if I hadn't put myself out there, there's no way I'd have the opportunities I have now.
When I first started learning about MBTI I was sure I was INFP, but as I kept going, I found out I’m actually an ISFP. This is all so relatable. Especially so with the last one. I nearly cried listening to it. I feel like I have entire universes inside of me, but I have no way of communicating them with people. So as a general, I avoid trying to connect all together. I’ve recently made an accidental connection with someone (pretty sure some sort of NP) and I get them so entirely, but I’m so worried it doesn’t come across like that.
You talking about feminine beauty and taking that in makes me feel a deep sense of longing. I have a hard time with committing to women because of childhood trauma, but I deeply want it and am trying to break the cycle. Porn is the way to take my mind off the loneliness. In some ways fantasy is preferable to reality
What did you make of Infinite Jest (on your book shelf)? It took me an entire year to get from cover to cover.. not my usual bag, but it was worth it - lots of vivid memories from various scenes.
