The Impact of Early Emotional Neglect 

I feel exactly the same. 😒😞 Do you wanna keep in touch? 💘☺🇸🇪☺💘

@@lolabandola3250 I would definitely like to keep in touch. It's hard to find people who understand. It's good knowing we are not alone. I'd like to hear your story.

@@bill9923 Hi! I have found a nice chatroom, Spinchat. I did registrer there some weeks ago. Please tell me your nickname. Or: send me an email to csunbeam95@gmail.com See you soon!

@@bill9923 Hello. ☺ How are you? 🌷🇸🇪

Same 💔

Do you know who originally said that?

EXACTLY

Dr Khan worlds full of em

Dr Khan if you find a broken man ruuunnn !!!!!!

Lynn .D exactly, because it is always good to run away from people who are broken when in reality, all are broken

This is too accurate 💔

Omg why this is literally me

Tell me about it

I'm like that with my mom, she tried to hug me once when I was seeing her and I threatened to scream that's how mad I was about it

@@snakes3280 I'm sorry things are like that at home for u! My parents especially my mother were verbally and emotionally abusive And to make matters worse she was a child psychiatrist, so she was great at covering it up to authority's and my counselors. I also learned that she was also a very narcissistic and she actually got me addicted to controlled medicine like pain meds at 13. I'm getting healthy now but A lot of things happened in between until I got help. I do hope It gets better for you and anyone else that's experiencing neglect and any sort of abuse. We didn't deserve what happened to us, no child ever deserves to be abused!😔

Same

The baby also gives up crying eventually,a switch flicks in the brain,damaged for life

@@laptakyrenia8264 that actually happened to me, i was so emmotionally detached that as a 9 month old i broke my neck for staring too long at the window, watching the other kids play. outside.

reading this comment as i watched that part of the video felt like the hardest punch in the gut...i'm accepting the emotion though, as part of the healing process, & i'm so proud i'm even at a point where i'm not bottling that feeling up anymore after the emotional neglect of my childhood

I been through things worse than that in childhood, including my family used the fact that I was assaulted to threaten against me. But it doesn’t matter anymore, last time I took a walk with them, I walk my head down, there was a middle eastern riding a bike passing by, looked at me with a face full of envy, looked me, didn’t look her, hah! I’m the person who knows both the y language Korean English and wannabe Chinese person, they deal with the jabjobg every day, envy, right, it looks blue and I’m still the Korean god, what’s better than that! These days I just feel the beauty in everything, a fallen twig can be the most beautiful thing ever, as I typed this, beautiful light is coming into my room, everything feels life heaven and that was what gave have me

Veronica C. Yes! Kids aren't for everyone anyway. They're not for me so I didn't have them. My dumb ass parents didn't need kids either.

Veronica C. You’re smart. You’re doing what’s best for you and your would-be offspring. It’s just that simple. Don’t bring people into this world you can’t provide adequate care for. But people are selfish and stupid and act on that pesky biological impulse to bear children when they really shouldn’t. They neglect/mistreat their own kids after being subjected to similar treatment during their childhood and the cycle continues. But at least you’re competent and compassionate enough to recognize that kids are something you can’t handle. Maybe, paradoxically, it’s those who are aware of their own flaws which impede the child-rearing process that should be having kids rather than those who are neglectful but can’t see/or care enough to be a good parent.

As others stated, kudos to you for resisting the urge to have a child. Having babies won’t make your life happier than you are already. Many make that mistake with sad consequences.

Im with you. At 21 i still vowl to never bring children into the world. My emotional damage will not allow me to handle that responsibility. I'm not selfish for not wanting kids, it would infact be selfish to have kids be raised by a mentally ill neglected person like myself. Why put that negative energy on an innocent life?

That's the most absurd thing I ever heard. I don't want to be mean, but seriously, you think you're helping? You think you're doing any good by not having children? No that's just lazy, and while you might have more easy pleasure, your life will lack fulfilment. Get married, have children, and simply love them. That's all it takes. Don't put them in daycare, don't hand them over to a nanny, be there for them, teach them, raise them-- not only will you help raise a generation of healthy, content children, but you'll die leaving behind a legacy and surrounded by the fruits of your labor-- children.

I hear ya. I suffer everyday

And is there any way to fix it?

We are special puppets who can learn to pull our own strings.

You can always heal people, you can.

I felt that way for 40+ years...It dawned on me ironically after a break up..I do deserve peace in my life..My parents screwed me up..SO GUESS WHAT... I'M NOT GOING TO HELP THEM...Im going to fight like hell for my peace..I have earned it..I refuse to continue letting the past dominate my joy..A person can fall down to no fault of their own..But dammit You swing harder coming back up..Take your joy back it belongs to you..GO GET IT!

I can absolutely relate.

Exactly dude

No shit!! Me too!! Statistically speaking, I should've wound up in and out of jail or prison or have become a serial killer. I detest the Nature v. Nurture argument in that I have (during my life) chosen to be a good person and to break the cycle of abuse that has been in my family for generations.

An orphan in your own family.

I was abused into politeness. I know a lot of people who were. Now I'm great at customer service cuz thats what my whole childhood was if I didn't want to face severe repercussions. I HATE customer service so much and it's been my job for 10 years. Without it I would die in the street.

This! So true.

But wouldn’t the same be true of our face when reading a book? I agree it is important to be as responsive to our children as possible, but parents can’t be expected to give 100% of their attention, every minute of the day

​@@kennethjoneificationMaybe help the child under what reading a book is.

@@kennethjoneificationYes, but if I remember correctly, it is a lot harder to break a persons concentration when they are looking at a phone (especially when they have headphones in) then when they are looking at a book. Also consider the situations: parents looking at their phones during mealtimes for example, almost nobody would whip out a book while eating with family. In addition: the modeling of reading books around your children while they are playing by themselves is important.

Top comment

For some they don't understand how to build string children.

@@krystalrussell1783 Exactly! My parents tried to make me 'strong' in all the wrong ways - being VERY critical so I'd learn, not giving me things to avoid being spoilt - but it was all to the very extreme. I remember clearly at 6 that I wanted to be a pretty princess and buy a Disney Princess dress. My Mum said "No cause you aren't a princess and we don't want you getting big headed thinking you're nicer than you are" I was never given the affirmation or warmth I needed. Anything they did was negative, an insult or an order. And now they wonder why I'm so distant 🥴

A broken adult simply needs an ass whooping and to get their shit together , because no one's going to help them when they're old and they'll realize that one day so they'll change themselves or suffer

John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life

@David Ramirez Profound, to straight to the point, and undeniably true! 👍

I remember nothing.

Demi S16 that's actually true...... i remember some things that happened when i was just 2 and a half year old

Demi S16 everything is set by the time a child is 5.

I dont think a person need to remember it to have effect on the person. It can still be stored in the subconscious.

I remember getting a deep scissor injury at 4... it wasn't a traumatic event or anything but the injury is hard to forget

😭😭😭😭😭 That's a start....

I am thankful he opened his eyes and his mouth. Thank you for sharing. How are you doing now?

Awareness is the first step for self improvement! Did he change his ways? Is he trying to be better now? How are you doing?

That makes three bb

Hope you can respond to him with love and that you find ways to chat together, not always about his mistakes but just about life and love and the whole darn thing.

OMG. I am so sorry.

Do the same thing when she is old and unable to change her own diaper Jk jk

@@Beanssss_ terrible advice from a wretched spiteful prick You DON’T return evil for evil when it comes to your parents who may have been mentally sick themselves when they inflicted their evil on you It’s not gonna make you feel good or improve the situation in any way It’s NOT gonna be a redemption like when you beat up 1 of your school bullies later in life Being bad to your bad family members is just gonna deepen the misery and poison Forgiveness is about you and your healing, NOT about the bad family members You’re a terrible advicer

Your mother was a sick person unfit to have children like many are unfortunately. Pls see her as a patient in a hospital ward, don’t take her to account for it, but work towards healing yourself and be an example for your family………BEST LUCK

That’s terrible I’m sorry you had to go through that.

They are like cute puppies that end up living on a chain in the backyard. This analogy works well with animal lovers.

OfftoShambala Smart analogy

Dionne thanks dionne

@@OfftoShambala Sad reality....

😢

Lol

That's a really great thought actually💫

I think most people feel their childhood was lacking to some degree. There are videos on YT explaining how to “re-parent” yourself. Sounds kinda ~out there~ but if it helps you see your life differently...

Same

I. P. S. Awwwww😢

I'm 22 and have only hugged my mum probably 5 or less times in my life. She doesn't like hugs

Same here. I don't remember ever being hugged as a kid, and my siblings neither do. It fucked us all up big time.

....same here... And all I ever wanted was that 😭😭😭😭😭

My mom doesn't do hugs

@@Strgzz Ditto. No hugs, no sitting on lap, being "smooshed" and being told I was loved. Same for my siblings. Cold.. Messed me up for sure. Struggling with depression and anxiety all my life. It's like I was missing a nutrition that I badly needed. You could say I lack some important building blocks. I didn't know it at that time, but what I didn't get through motherly love I replaced elsewhere; in food and sweets. I used to sneak food up to my room all the time as a kid. I still suffer from this effect to this day as an adult. Some people just doesn't know how to give or show love to their kids. It's really sad when you think about it.

You belong.

These are feelings that were introjected theyre not the true you and what you really think and how you feel You’re just conditioned to feel this way I was the same hope you feel better soon 💖

You're not alone. I feel the same way and so do many others on here. Perfectly normal reaction to abnormal circumstances.

Exactly the same here...

I'm there for you. This is hard. Life isn't fair that's all I have learned so far.

Exactly, my parents were so cold and negative i have mental problems my whole life because of them.

I have probs with defensive anger and boundary between myself and others, but working on it and getting better. My biggest victory is that I do not feel sorry for myself. I am not a victim.

catherine birch yes but we need to work on those if the parents are willing and able. Holding onto that hate or resentment doesn’t do anyone any good

Usually the same thing happened to the parents, too. It's like an epigenetic illness, passed down the generations. If this happened to you, seek help before you raise kids!

Oh hell yeah, this was my mother!

Thank you

Aww thank you. Here`s one back.

olenna natsu are you stupid I are black

Here's one back x

Michael Jay - Value Investing funny how some of us reject that huge...

As a mom the moms blinking kills me because I know she’s having such a hard time herself

I did 😢

Made my stomach churn (and yes, I’m a mom lol)

I just wanted that poor baby to get a response!

Yes it actually made me cry. So upsetting-and I'm a mom too.

That is beautiful! I wish you love and light! Congrats!!

According to some monsters, that's just a clump of cells.

@@sorgothsorgoth3575 Well, It Is.

@@medusachristo4234 you clearly suffer from childhood emotional neglect and it shows

@@eminem2996 We all was a clump of cells. I don't know why you mad about that

OMG I HATE when someone tells me to leave the past in the past!! Get on with it!! Put on your big-girl-pants!! It is demeaning & very insensitive to minimize someone else's pain regardless of a time frame....I love your illustration...I am learning who I can confide in & who can't be there for me because they have their own baggage and they do not want to listen to mine because it will trigger theirs and they do not want to face it. So they will say whatever it takes to make me shut your mouth and stop talking to them about it. I have found through much trial & error that it's very important to only confide in those you can trust enough to care because otherwise it ends up re-victimizing you. It takes a lot of courage to dig down deep & unearth past hurts & face them head on...it is the only way to recover to lead a fuller, healthier, & happier life. Whether you reveal the memory or it sits just beneath the surface festering, It is STILL there and it WILL come out one way or another...I choose to gain some control over how it comes out...through my talking it out cause if I don't talk it out I WILL act it out in some self-destructive way and I'm tired of acting it out because that just creates further issues down the road...talking it out facilitates healing & strength & growth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely! Whoever says that must be one of those shithead parents who don’t give a damn to their child and expect their children to behave!

That's a great way to describe it... you don't just go from crippled to walking when you are emotionally BROKEN and have never had a single person in your life that you could actually trust

Hypersomnie thank you so much for pointing this out,i struggle with this everyday,people telling me your dad neglected you 22yrs back just move on!You what’s sad,it hurts like it was yesterday!

Exactly. How dare they.

Same!! Still wishing the same..

💯

@Willy Wonka > Mine too, thus, the reason I could not have a decent relationship with my Mom.

Same

Same here I had everything financially but emotionally I got nothing

2000% !!

you will when it happens trust me i just had my first child and because you are aware it will come naturally.

A hundred million years of evolution, of life forms who fought constant danger and succeeded to reproduce before they died. All of this leads up to your existence, you either know or will know no matter what, or you will die alone, there's no in-between. I think some people are meant to die alone, now that there are less wars, people might still be alive but mentally they are dead. In the sense that they convince themselves not to have children and there dies their lineage. On a macro scale over many generations, it's the same result and the same fundamental cause, natural selection. TL;DR I believe in you👍

@@lawestphilly if it came naturally this video WOULDN'T exist

@@nyny9189 maybe maybe not I guess it's a individual situation love

Because babies are humans that need constant attention, the parent needs to be stable both financially and mentally. So if you're not ready please don't have a child.

Deliq wtf is wrong with you omg 😐

🤍🤍🤍 me too it so beautiful

Deliq Don’t let your past encounter rule you.. stay true to your love and you shall see love again. You must be strong to give love without wanting something in return.

We all need love!!!!!! But who has it to give their child? THe real number 1 crises in our species I fell is the poor child raising of humanity. Parents pass their suffering on to their children and the cycle continues. Every wrong in society boils down to children who did not get what they needed when they were infants and children and who then not only pass it down to their children but to society as well. Its an epidemic and few people know , understand or care.

Deliq fuck you incel wallet

john yi yet it rarely exist .. which is pretty ironic

I pray for you!

Love isn't worth the risk. Chasing an imagined best case scenario is a great way to constantly let yourself down. Human relationships shouldn't extend beyond the point of friendship.

love isn't perfect, neither are any relationships, including friendships. We need it, even when we don't want it.

Le Enderman Who hurt you?

I needed to heard that. I have been told to stop cuddeling my son so much by my parents ever since he was born 2 years ago. Their argument being that did not do that with me either.... anyone care to guess why in my opinion the feeling of being left alone is the worst in the world?

@verenamichel2447 cuddle them as much as you can, one day they'll grow up and not want the hugs so get them in while you can!!! Keep going you're doing a great job 👍

​@@GMLondonThey'll still want the hugs...Just not as often is all if you do it right🤗.

Oh you put it so well.

i relate deeply to your experience

salt pepper totally agree

TheThea124 but there's a huge risk of human race becoming extinct if this rule is strictly followed 😆

salt pepper very true and unfortunate.

Many of us would fail a standard mental and emotional aptitude test. The ones who pass, could still be vulnerable to ailments like postpartum depression, which also can make a person emotionally negligent.

salt pepper not a problem up till recently, when there were extended families. All the mother’s sisters were also considered mothers. Grandmothers lived in the household, etc. perhaps what we need is changing the way we are heading, and make our societies different and working more for us and not the materialism. Just ‘smarter’ societies where our emotional state is as important as employment figures, that’s what we need.

More so my adulthood, still being treated and neglected as an unwanted child.

Me

Steve Dyches me too it’s annoying

It would take a lifetime to get over my childhood.

No childhood is perfect. No child is perfect. No parent is perfect. No family is perfect. No life is perfect. Perfection is not part of this temporary world. We were not created for this world. We were created for heaven. Perfection is in the Hereafter.

You’re loved and watched ❤️

I'd love you and nurse you for sure

@@Joel-pg4yi Thank you for your kind and beautiful comment. It cheered me today.

I feel you bro so feel you were not alone.

Same..

This is being used to treat PTSD, but I think it's the solution for childhood emotional neglect too - maps.org/participate/participate-in-research/mdma

Thank you ..exactly..i was unwell for decades over it..im 63 n it still hurts..my siblings have the same attitude towards me..each other ...n dont get they are completing the ugly circle

Yes almost every adult right now on Earth is walking around unhealed...as wound adult children.

same here 🥺🥺😭

Same trigger for me I could barely get through it

I had to turn it off

Me too!!! I felt really bad for the baby at first, I wanted to hold him. But then it fucking changed and I needed yo cry AND a hug myself. TRIGGERED!

Right when I started scrolling to distract myself from that part. Primal wound stuff that. While I’m glad to see I’m not alone, I hate that we all felt it.

I love this, I am the same way with my mom. Never had anyone say it was weird but I noticed most people are not like this.

I so wish this was my family as well. Your friend said it’s weird as a defense from pain that he would feel understanding that it was actually missing from his life.

Not Verbally expressing love however is not a sign of lack of love. It just depends on upbringing and culture.

I dated a guy one time who was so connected to his family it made me feel like I was an alien and could never connect with someone so well brought up. I am 31 and alone still. I cannot connect with anyone in the moment but spend my free time and thoughts wishing desperately I could.

He’s too damaged to even realize. Poor soul.

Breaks my heart💔

I started crying so hard. I don't know how the mama didn't break sooner.

@@TheCoverFaery no way I could have held out for 2mins!

This experiment gave it a lifelong trauma.

@@OrangeUp I think that this mother (hopefully) is very loving and will make up for that half a minute of not attention to her kid. What this science experiment is illustrating is that prolonged exposure to this, which at a point becomes neglect, then this is permanent damage.

it only mess you up till you are unaware of it. When you get to know it, it is your own responsibility to cure it. Stop blaming people in your past because it is not useful to you. Make yourself happy today. Just like you may be born with a genetic disease, so you have to take remedial measures. And you are not special, everybody has a different problem of this category. Buck up !! "Replace your memories". This was something taught to me. Study books on this, to replace your memories. Past is only a memory, not a reality. Any childhood trauma is only in your head not in your reality. ankursrivastavaweb.wordpress.com/2020/11/16/replace-your-memories/

Yup,me to ,I always had everything but emotionally I was starving ,still am

Same for me. To my mom showering me with presents was a good placeholder for actual care and love. I'm 20 and she cried when I told her that I avoid eye contact with her and that hugging her feels like hugging a complete stranger.

This.

@@liveankur Replacing memories sounds dumb.

No one likes to hear the truth. Good for you, for keeping it real.

I was always told i was a mistake, and even my sisters would laugh and bring it up in conversation. Mum used to tell people that there was no difference between having one or two children, but there was a massive difference having three, and yes, i was the third one. I've never forgotten that and it hurt a lot

​@@georgiewatson8688sorry for you're feeling that way. 😖

Abandoned at 15, my mother informed me I was unwanted, she tried a few things to abort me, and I don't know for sure what she did but I have a terrible arthritic back too young at 25 to start having serious structural issues. I can go on, but she rarely fed me. I ate cereal, bananas, lots of junk so she could escape us with her narcolepsy instead of taking her medicine for it until we all were in bed.

⁠​⁠​⁠​⁠@@nancycorbeil5892 Until “we” were all in bed… oml, did she have multiple kids? I doubt they were treated much better than you if that were the case. I wonder if they too were abandoned young. So strange for someone to have kids when they don’t seem of sound mind, assuming the others weren’t also failed abortion attempts (bc that would mean she chose). And when she saw you had lived through the abortion, why not put you up for adoption? The foster care system probably would’ve at least cared for you until 18, even if it may not be the best. Also, since she had an unsuccessful abortion, I presume one of three possibilities: -it was illegal wherever she is so she did the coat hanger abortion -it was legal but she was pregnant for too long -she had it done at the hospital and somehow someway the doctor didn’t do it properly. If it’s the 2nd one, a late abortion, that’s especially gross because you’d likely be able to feel the coat hanger and were probably damaged in the womb. I definitely wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what caused your problems. I mean, there’s a reason why abortions have a time limit. Some people have them so late that it can go from an attempted abortion to a pre-mature birth where the child lives. It’s insane. Overall, mom bad, you good. Glad you’re alive over a decade after being abandoned, and you write very well, I’d read books made by you.

This is horrible. I'm so sorry. 😢

Very smart you have learnt how to survive on your own

I’m so sorry sweety. I’m very sorry. I feel every word you wrote. I hope one day somehow we all can heal including our parents and the whole earth and this torture will end.

It's saddening, but cheers to you for saving yourself...... I presume this would give the feeling that mom is not gonna do anything incase I'm in trouble.

You are a born leader! Kudos!

I hear you sista

My adoptive mother was VERY abusive.... etc. EXACTLY what you described.

Oh yeah...

Same

Preach girl

Desi C and imagine the parents who do this to their babies till those grow up in an adult. Imagine the damage of years and years. Spine chilling.

@@tula__ also add to this that its not only "still face" but often other nasty things.... Whats more funny they claim they love u.

I was just about to say... poor baby didn't know he was part of an experiment, imagine his confusion

@@izabelaswa85 The claim that they love you is enormously damaging.

Izabela Swa I already know but say that to the OP who felt bad just by this little experiment, whereas the reality is of a lifetime!

Underrated comment

I can so relate to this ❤

barebearburiesbarrysberries Exactly! 💯 Narcissists!!!!

some people pop kids out of boredom and wanting to pass on genes exclusively

@barebearburiesbarrysberries hugs to you!

Some parents love their kids, but have a hard time being emotionally supportive. My mom came here from Iran and raised me alone. She had to work a lot, and well..she was often short tempered from stress and exhaustion. I'm sure she didn't mean to yell so much or damage me in some way, but I have a lot of memories of crying because she'd hurt my feelings as a small kid. Parenting is really hard I'm sure. = (

@@racheltania4498 my hugs to you. I am a doctor myself, and sometimes people are trying their best but they are not able to do what they mean,due to circumstances. My mother lost her cool too, we were 4 wild kids, her sisters would tell her, why don't you teach them to do housework. My mother would say, I don't want them so have ,same life as me. she was eldest of 8 kids, and robbed of her childhood, so even though we were slapped, beaten at times, we knew we were loved. Raising kids is so affected by your culture, surroundings. I hope your wounds heal and you find love in each way possible.🤗

brokenandcracked I am really sorry to hear what has happened to you and i Hope you will find love and support in this world despite the neglect you have experienced in the past ❤️💕

Your not alone. Same for me. Mother was a monster !

Same with ...the isolation

Same experience with mother and childhood and aftermath as an adult. I have made progress, huge amounts of progress, but it feels like whereas I could’ve thrived and soared in the ways I was expected to had I had the love and care needed emotionally and psychologically, I’m spending my salvaging and healing what I can if what didn’t go right in the first place from the nuclear bomb of bad parenting earlier in life.

Yup you're not alone. I was raised by an aunt who, looking back now as an adult, I think she was kind of a psychopath lady. Both my parents worked full-time. It's just me and the psycho aunt at home. I don't even remember much what happened there. I guess my brain blocked it off for my sanity. I only started to "know" my parents again after my mom gave birth to my brother and quit her job to be a fulltime housewife. I was already 6 years old by then. Too late. I'm now 30, never been in a relationship and difficult to connect with people, always socially awkward. I know I'll never marry because I also can't stand most people. Thankfully I still have a decent job and a few friends from college who accepts my weirdness. Sometimes I think to myself, what kind of person would I be right now, if I was raised right? A question that many of us asked, going by the comments here.

This is the type of stuff that makes me have faith in humanity. You are so incredibly strong and such an amazing parent for striving to be better than the parent(s) you were given. I wish you and your daughter a happy and healthy life

Yes, that was my case, mother with depression, even today she is depressed reading the bible every day.

As a mother with depression... I worry.

🥺🥺

My mother was severely depressed my entire childhood, and she was always emotionally unresponsive, whether i showed her something that i made or when i was crying, she never soothed me and no one else did either. When i was 2 i didn't play and explore like other children did and when i was 4 i was the only child at school who cried all day every day and never talked for at least a year. From the age of 7-10 i was sexually abused and at school i was always nothing but rejected and outcasted by classmates to the point i didn't wanna go to school anymore and had to talk to the school counselor, but i still remember as a child the time when i gathered my courage together to talk to my parents about this, they got mad and dismissed and invalidated what i said. My parents also never hugged me, complimented me or said "i love you". I'm 21 now and sadly there's no happy ending to this story and if i told you the ways my childhood negatively impacted me shaped me into the person i am this comment would get too long (not like it isn't already😂). I'm really sorry for typing this all out. I'm not at all doing saying this to try to get pity.

@@badidea6034 I am so sorry for everything you had to go through! And I'm so sorry for the ways that your childhood has negatively impacted you as an adult! I know my child's formative years haven't been the best, but they haven't been the worst. But this deep depression that hit me several months ago, I wish it would just go away. I worry for my babies...

elblondie69 falconer No...just no.

elblondie69 falconer Appreciated Thanks and may I return the same! xxx

elblondie69 falconer Thank you...:💕🙈🙈I really needed that

Awww thanks. Back at ya

Ron Nickels thats how it be lol. Thanks tho

Yes you are not alone, there are many of us in the same boat, keep giving yourself love and kindness even if other people were unavailable to. Love is not a luxury it is the gateway to survival and happiness.

I'm sorry you had to go through so much 😢

Are you OK honey?

You are loves Julie, Jesus loves you. God loces us all, lo matter our personality, color, ethinicity, background. He accept whoever wants to be with Him, even when you don't love Him He loves you pire than anything. May God touch your heart in Jesus name

😢😢😢😢 our almighty god Jahwe Promises us that he will change everything soon in the future. The Bible gods word say Revelation 21:3 No more pain no more death no more suffering . God will make all things new . 💗

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

In my case it would be you talk to your mother??? I don't talk to her much because she doesn't listen, but then of course it's my fault in the end. Whatever it is, it's my fault.

The weirdest thing for me was seeing mothers and daughters getting along and being affectionate towards each other. I wasn't hugged until I was 25, I thought every mother was supposed to be cold and hateful

My mom lied to anybody that would listen on how I slept with her boyfriend at the tender age of 14. I'm 36 now. She's ruined every relationship I've been in. Cause of course the man is gonna feel like why would your mother lie(ppl with great Mother's don't quite understand)?!. I can write a best seller about my life story. Man I've been thru a lot. Just didn't know it all had to do with my mom until recently. I'm 36 now and God is still showing up in my life. He's all I actually have being that I've never had kids.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I remember last summer I went to visit my sister. And when I entered her apt. There stood my mom and her equally evil sister(if not more evil) they look at each other than looked at me and it took my breath away. I thought I was tripping so I turned and went out the door. Inhaled deep exhaled and went back in. And the feeling of suffocation came back as I looked at them still standing there grinning. Didn't even stay to visit. I know I've never done anything but try to help spiritually and financially. Some ppl it's just best to leave em b. My mom(and her siblings)taught me that Domonic evil ppl existence is closer than you know. Sadly my Older sister and Brother seem just like her. I never noticed it b4 as kids.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

There are people out there that can give you lots of love. Hope you are doing okay

I have the angry faced, threatening look on her face till date. 29 years.

don't worry i did too I'm messed up my dr is an asshole to me he tells me I'm retarded. just don't worry about what anyone says to u and dont feel different ur ok .just be there for ur kids and dont do the same to them. maybe ull make a good social worker someday

I’m sorry that happened

Mark Turner sending you a massive hug

How would that work?

@@neekz1453 not sure.. I mean to adopt a shelter animal you have to jump thru a dozen hoops.. And that's just for some unwanted... hand me down... used "pet"... Children, they shouldn't be as disposable as pets... The system fails them on a daily basis. The world is just a really jacked up place. And systemic/generational curses are perpetuated ... Cycles continue... Ignorance begets ignorance... When "all men are created equal" not really sure when that for applied, but it sure looks good, on paper...

yeah like fix your own trauma before raising a child rather than having the child suffer YOUR trauma

@@alyanuuuh_2634 yea.. I agree

Also before those who want to study to be pastors. Teach them how to deal with people appropriately for the betterment of all.

SlowClass Kai I hope you can tide over the issues you have faced love !

Mystic Miserly thank you ❤️🙏🏽

same i started crying 😢

I found it really hard to watch too. I don't know how she could do it.

dang who told you that tho they should have never told you. im also the darkest in my family

i didnt know that, i wonder if i will become emotionless like my parents

True

Sometimes Not Always

My parents are going in a nursing home. They could barley do the minimum and show me love, so they’ll be getting love from the CNA’s

So true. If I am legally obligated to take care of my emotionally neglectful and abusive mom, I would just pay the cheapest option for a nursing home. She gave me the bare minimum, I will also respond with the bare minimum.

That's the point. To make you feel sad just like they feel.💯😥

Me too! Awful....

Mine too... I wanted to sob!! 😢😭

Yea I literally teared up when the baby started crying. It may be an "experiment". But those are real emotions coming from that baby.

This was my mother during my childhood. I am so damaged.

@@lydiabeg7387 can appreciate your comments had my own difficult childhood. Often neglected too. Hard also to be a parent when I became one. Felt very detached. I applied Bible principles and did things for my daughter s comfort that my mother never did.

Or they listen but don’t take what the child is saying seriously. Just because the kid isn’t paying bills doesn’t mean they’re immune to stress in their tiny lives.

@@lydiabeg7387 Then get a therapy and don't have children maybe? My dad shouldn't have children, he had awfull childhood as far as I know. But no, I am one of four of his children and I don't see he's getting better.

As a child I was always asking about everything. When I asked for something and didn't get it, I was interested why my mom wouldn't buy it. but my mom refused to explain it to me, so I would get mad about the fact, that she ignored my question more than not getting the thing I wanted.

Hi Melon sauce the Bible is very useful for all sorts relationships. Have a look at Ephesians 6:1--4 . Particularly verse 4 as it tell us as parents to be consistent with the training of our children. So don't irritate them be fair and let them know where they stand . So the whole family has the same standard to follow.

I’m so sorry sweety. Hope you’ve grown and worked to find peace since.

Same, my father it's the same with me ...

Hola , lo tienes por PDF?

@@gw437 The present is built on the past, and without understanding the past the future is doomed to repeat it. People may deal differently with situations, but childhood trauma is no laughing matter. My dad is someone who thought he had put everything behind him, he said many of the same things as you did. He ended up becoming the same kind of father his own father was, whom he hated. I hope this is not your case, I'm sorry for everything you've had to go through. Godspeed to you.

True !

No, it only mess you up till you are unaware of it. When you get to know it, it is your own responsibility to cure it. Just like you may be born with a genetic disease, so you have to take remedial measures. And you are not special, everybody has a different problem of this category. Buck up !! "Replace your memories". This was something taught to me.

Get counseling

@@gw437 True, we should forgive and forget if possible, but damage is much more complicated then just forgetting it. I was emotionally neglected during my crucial development years, 9-16. Ive forgiven my past, my parents,etc. And moved on but that damage is there. So let me give you a run down of some of my symptoms of this, A. My Dad was never around and my mother worked, when they divorced her work load doubled. So no father figure, AKA no role model. B. I lack empathy in everything I do, if you met me, youd be convinced I have some sort of mild autism. So its very hard to impossible to resonate with another human being, which led me to me being introverted. Its highly likely Ill never marry, my persona and personality make dealing with intimacy an impossible endeavor. My body has gotten use to the neglect and to force it puts too much stress on my body to the point I have to walk away. So Ive learned to be content with Christianity and keeping people at a arms length, especially women to the point unless necessary I never interact with them anymore, and focus on myself and my well-being and spirituality, as well as loved ones. And I want to re-emphasize, I forgave and moved on long ago, and accepted the situation and circumstances that surround me. Going forward I have no regrets. But that damage follows you, and constantly remindes you of what you cant have. Forgetting doesn't remove the obstacles ahead.

That brought me pleasure. I guess we're not all the same.

saaaame! so sad :(

Ashley Cape absolutely. i bet it was really hard for the mom too.

@joan n yeah, I don't mind.

Though I did get a good laugh when she looked over at the camera, like, "can you believe this shit?"

same here brother keep going strong

Darth Senate we can do it

This is such an uplifting and positive comment. You must have an amazing soul. I love your attitude!!

- Shooting Starlight - thank you 😊 you’re a kind soul yourself 🥰

Have fun.

I love you and Jesus loves you too. Healing from your upraising is so hard but you can do it though jesus. He’s my stable rock when I don’t have the people who are supposed to be there for me to lean on

Banana Nana amen! 🤍

@@banananana2610 i thought he died

@@idan7989 Sort of. The story goes he reanimated on the third day after his death and came to reside as a deity in heaven.

Sounds like she's a narcissist. I can relate.

it's never too late to start to do at least some healing, i am rooting for you!

Im so sorry to hear that. I hope you know you are not alone and I hope you can get the resources that you need like a therapist. I wish you all the best, really!!

@@mirateograd5248 my father was a paedophile - he raped me as a child! emotionally inside I'm no older than about 7! That makes it impossible to live or even imagine the age I am! I've been alive for 64 odd years but I have never had a 'life'! You don't recover from the sort of intense abuse I endured!

@@g1fcg :((

@@gw437 Um no, government has more control over us as it is. People can't control the time they spend on their own hobbies and interests because they're selfish and self-absorbed. The government can't fix that. You see how they're controlling us now with this Croney-19 Fear-demic? How about the gov't regulate how many sports games you can watch, pretzels you can eat, shoes you can own, what the hell?

So, you pray for those babies and children. That is the single best thing you can do.

You’re right!

Very true

Yes, I see it too and can’t stand it. Young kids just staring at their parents while their parents stare at their phones with these self-satisfied looks on their faces.

Caro H: I don't know how spiritual you are, but I place a bubble of protection around myself when I have dealings with my narcissistic mother. Lately I've asked the universe when I imagine the bubble to spin back onto my mother whatever she hurls at me. It's kind of gratifying to watch what happens. Try it, what can it hurt?

Cynthia Johnson I will give it a go! 😘

FaithHope21 this is a very mature and positive response. I do often wonder what in her past created who she is today.

Caro H your mother may most likely be a narcissist

Caro H are you me?

My mother would do this "love bomb" me so it would make up for her narcissistic behavior. She would also force me to hug her while she cried so when my friends would try to hug me growing up I hated it! I didn't know that hugs were supposed to be happy not to be uncomfortable/an emotional guilt trip.. My step mom said it hurt her to see how emotionally distant I was as a child and I was only 8 when she came into my life.

Could I ask you when the discarding started? Was your mother affectionate (regardless of reason) with you until a certain age?

Wow, I’ve never thought of the discarding bit until reading your comment. Thank you so much, that really helped solidify much of the pain and betrayal I felt my mother left me with. I know you’re not supposed to “blame” your parents but I know she practically indoctrinated me to be codependent and mistrusting of people. She threw away our relationship for a broken violent alcoholic and carried on the tradition of putting a man before her children, despite saying how much she loved us. Now every time I think of her I’m faced with the reality of my lacking social literacy, my inability to find loving/caring people and foster healthy relationships, struggling to fight against my innate instinct to hate myself, abandonment issues, etc. I’m 27 and have tried therapy, and I always scratch the surface but find it unbearably painful to investigate further. I was a lovely caring child, albeit too much, I parented my mother in ways that repulse me now that I have the knowledge and vocabulary now. I should’ve been a child who was loved and nurtured. I would never wish that upbringing on anyone. Just because a parent does the bare minimum of clothing and feeding a child, doesn’t negate the fact that emotional and psychological damage can cripple a persons soul and break them so badly it will take a lifetime to piece themselves back together. All the while trying so hard for people to trust and love them, since now it’s so common for people with BPD, PTSD, mood disorders, and people with severe mental illness in general to be demonized and belittled. Trauma isn’t an excuse, it’s a reality many struggle to cope with. Anyways, I could go on and on, but I really appreciate the time people take to be vulnerable and honest in these kinds of comment sections. Really helps to know that other people understand.

@@breannamaree5894 I was guilt tripped too all the time and it makes me frustrated.

@Vincent P Thank you so much for this Vincent. Who've echoed what my Being whispered to me last night. Wow!! Your echo is confirmation. Thank you again. I truly appreciate it 😌🧘🏽‍♀️📿🙏🏽

The only thing that helped me to forgive is trying to understand what type of childhood my parents had and how wounded they were. I learned they were terribly abused in many ways.

@@user-sy3fj1yn1x I understand that my mother may not have had a good childhood but I shouldn't have had to pay the price for that. I shouldn't have had to go to school with black eyes and bruises. Why punish me for what happened to her? I promised myself that should I ever have a child I would do everything in my power to be the polar opposite of her, and I did. My son is 21 years old and he reminds me often how much he loves me and that I'm a good mother. I could never imagine beating him, ignoring him, and treating him like he doesn't matter. The abuse my mother did to me was a choice. She CHOSE to hurt me, just like I CHOSE to be loving and kind to my son.

have you ever just broken down to her and asked her why

@@Kendall42971 Believe me I've been through the gamut of feelings about them. Even though I'm 65 years old my mother is still alive. I think she's getting meaner! I try not to bite when she's fishing for an argument. I just try to change the subject or not respond to her. I try not to see her unless my sisters are with me. I pray that she'll soften up but I don't hold my breath. Although she's been physically, verbally and emotionally abusive she's also done some nice and loving things. Kendall I'm not saying what I've done applies to everyone. Over the years this is how I feel about it. Of course my dad passed away long ago. I don't think about it much anymore unless someone brings it up or when I'm with my family.

Smith A My heart aches for you. Be well. Especially now.

I'm sorry you have to go through that. I was constantly yelled at for being slow and dumb. When I was old enough to go to a doctor. I'm 90% deaf.... Yup. Full of permanent anxiety and low self of steam. Working on rebuilds into something I WANT to be.

I was left alone a lot, and when I was about 11 years old I was forced to babysit my sibling age 7. My mom ended up having more babies and I had to babysit and do all the house chores. They saw nothing wrong with this. My mom often left me at sitters for days. When I needed her most she wasn't there. I moved away from home at 19 to another state. She is trying her best to reach out to me. She gets sad that we don't have this connection like mothers and daughters do. I wish I can tell her why, but I can't and it hurts me.

@@kinjaaaaaa999 remember Kim, she may have endured the same abuse. The secret is forgiveness and a resolution that the abuse stops with us, we don't pass on the neglect to other children.

I can totally resonate with you so sorry for you,wish I could give you a big hug❤

please please research "kintsugi" ❤‍🩹

Your Heavenly Father can repair…❤❤❤

We never get a second chance at childhood.

Yeah, that's nasty! But it's not irreparable. Someone wrote "Your Heavenly Father can repair" and this is what I have experienced myself, coming from emotional neglect, like you. I learned bit by bit to trust in God and though the road to recovery took long and I still have some hardships, life still looks much different from what it otherwise, without Him, would have been. I didn't get any quick fixes or miracles. Worked through the process. It was hard, but at least I got out on the other side. I learned to be comforted and loved and also how to comfort others and love others. Wishing you all the best!

Yes, I also have been asked "bizarre" questions from others. Did your mom work? Was she absent alot? I knew then as I do now....people can actually see the parental neglect in me. It's embarrassing and it hurts.

I’m not African American but I completely understand where you’re coming from. My parents were the same way. I’m 20 years old and I’m currently struggling with the same thing. I really needed to hear that. Thank you ♥️

I'm not black but our families were in the same mindset. I'm 38 now and still struggling to be vulnerable and honest with my own emotions. I wish you better days ahead. Stay strong. And thank you for the encouragement.

Similar experience here. I'm also AA and I grew up around domestic violence and we weren't allowed to be angry about it. I'm 20 now and making it a duty of mine to constantly remind myself to be open about my emotions and genuinely expressive. I was always jealous of families that seem to express their love and actually seemed close. And I still get angry at my childhood sometimes. But emotional progress is made 💕

This is being used to treat PTSD, but I think it's the solution for childhood emotional neglect too - maps.org/participate/participate-in-research/mdma

I wish you the best of luck and light. You are aware and bright. You can heal and be a blessing for others ❤️

Do you mind naming some of the differences you see? I'm curious.

My kid got sick at school the other day, so the nurse called. She repeatedly thanked me, on the phone and in person, for coming to pick up my sick child and take him home. There were a couple of other kids in there with sad looks on their faces. I wonder if they had to sit there all day?

Grew up with an alcoholic father that use to beat up my siblings. I was pretty violent as a child,a bully. I believe this

Sophia Keep being the great mother that you are.

So happy to know you've broken that cycle!! ❤👏🏽

Wow your story so similar to mine...my mom also dont know how to connect with child because of her bad relation with her mother...i feel sorry for her becoz she dont know what love is....but i dont want to be like her, i hope i will change...😊😊

Destiny tran that’s my biggest worry, but im Trying my best to avoid that.

14 kids? Why do some people have so many? Religious beliefs? Lazy contraception?

Hi Hannah. Hope you're well. There is a channel called personal ddevelopment school by Thais Gibson on RU-vid. She deals with attachment issues..hope you find it beneficial.

Dr Jonice Webb - A Pioneer of Childhood Emotional Neglect. She's written an excellent book, 'Running on Empty'. Check her out! All the best going forward in your healing journey. 🙏🏾

That's why so many kids act out. They see that the only time they will get attention is when they are misbehaving. Negative attention is still some attention from their parents, so they'll even take that. Very sad.

Exactly

I've got Christmas videos of me trying to get my mom's attention for minutes at a time just to thank her. And that was the best time of year, except maybe summer.

@Nugget G try explaining good behavior, encourage it. Ignoring it will raise their desire for attention, probably negative attention.

You hit a very important part. Only reacting when they've done something wrong. Interesting to see just how that will affect them. Really sad..

myself either, never been loved as a human being one day on this planet. do you find yourself in the same situation?

@@Augfordpdoggie no. I have had extensive experience of love...xxx

@@caravb5906 happy to hear that

Cara V B God Bless you🙏❤️

Augford P. Doggie hi I love you 👋🏻 Lol Im so stupid!! But I hope you know you’re more than deserving of love

I relate to this so much 😔

Can relate I think our generation will be the change the world needs x

I'm very sorry. I don't know how but I never internalized my mother's abuse. I still to this day don't know how I managed that and question it all the time. I always knew it was my mother who was the problem, not me or anyone else. I was a very strong willed child and would stand up to her. She absolutely hated that but it was my way of "winning" and taking control. I am still her scapegoat kid but she knows she can't win with me and never will.

@@saltycat662 what a wonderful thing it is to be so resilient. I admire you for not backing down even as a child.

Same in jamaican households

:( I hope you're better now.

🥺🤧 💗💜 Hugs💙

you survived for a reason and u will make it through this Dani 💪❤️❤️❤️🙌

Hmm? I just told my Fiance this morning, that I no longer have any expectations from him. I give up.

@@rightthewrong6050 Yes, why prolong the inevitable. There may be someone else right around the corner that would be more compatible. Life is short. Being alone may bring about an abundance of peace and quiet, which is very cherishable.

@@dianer8881 ... I hear you Diane... Believe me. ♥

@@rightthewrong6050 It's good to make a decision and follow through.

I will never agree with that. That's the exact reason so many people just invite whoever into their lives and complain about them later

I agree. * a lot