I joined a really interesting discussion group last month about a non-western perspective on autism. The host was Jewish & explained how grateful he was for being born into a tradition that encourages rocking & swaying as part of their daily prayers/ rituals. Also, many cultures consider making direct eye contact to be rude!! Some cultures seem to be naturally less stressful for autistic people. It was a really fascinating discussion!
I can tell you for certain that having a cop for a dad and living in a strictly religious western household was not a positive experience growing up. I often wonder how incredibly different life could be to grow up in a manner that isn't constantly stifling them and expecting different behaviors then puishing to try to get them.
Remember that psychiatrist in the Depp/Heard trial. Everyone laughed when he stroked his chin and did something strange with his tongue. I remember Billy Crystal doing a similar thing as a character. My point is maybe the mannerism is normal in the Jewish community in US.
@@syberphish it was really interesting to hear from people who aren't from the USA or UK - everyone had a different experience, although it was different traits that weren't tolerated in different cultures/ traditions. Most mainstream autism advice & articles are written based on a Western (largely white) experience of being autistic. What was really interesting was that all the participants except the host came to realise they were autistic during COVID!
@@babs66 I'm not familiar with the exact mannerism, but there are certainly cultural movements/ behaviours that carry through & might/ might not "suit" autistic people.
I love this video! Thank you. I resonated with so much of it. I was always stimming to the point of annoying myself but I figured I was just feeling hyper because of my ADHD diagnosis. (Currently seeking autism assessment because my new psychiatrist doesn’t see ADHD in me but definitely something) Anyway, you’re my new favorite content creator. ❤
After learning I am AuDHD, it made SO MUCH sense that when I was a kid (Kindergarten) I had an obsession with bottle nipples even though I had been broken from a bottle for awhile. They had to be a certain brand, texture etc and my parents would think that they’d taken them from me but I’d have more stashed around the house. My teacher even called home about it because during reading time it was distracting TO HER 😂 I realize now that was a stim to calm myself down and meet oral motor needs. I was also in OT and PT for dyspraxia etc and I FINALLY after 20+ years found putty that’s the closest to what we used in those classes and I absolutely love it. If Im not careful I will end up with more than I know what to do with 😅😂
So I'm 34, and ever since I realized that I might be autistic, still not professionally diagnosed, I have felt so much less alone...... If I am not autistic, then I have no explanation for my entire life.
I bounce my right leg literally all the time and when I try to stop them, I can stop it for, like, 20 seconds and then continue to bounce it again with the urge to do that. I also spin my wrist regularly, rub my hair constantly, verbally stim. Now I guess I have at least one of ADHD or ASD.
My wonderful partner of 6 years was diagnosed several years ago (long before I met him) with "moderate to severe Aspergers." His stimming takes the form of incessant leg-bouncing in situations (church, formal concerts, etc.) where it is important to sit quietly and sit still. I am a church musician and a harpist, so we find ourselves in these situations often and Paul swears that he wants to come with me to enjoy my music. He likes watching me perform. I used to find his fidgeting embarrassing, but now if someone glares at him, I just glare back! He's a wonderful man - how dare you give him a dirty look?!
My 'friend' embarrassed me for stimming as we were waiting in line for the cinema. Thing is I didn't know what stimming was but I have always stimmed. People have always seen me move around. My parents didn't know what it was but I never stopped. I just found more socially acceptable ways of stimming. But I have also learnt to suppress stimming. Now that I'm unmasking, I stim so much😂 I do it at home, though. Because I really need to 'move'. So anyway, I'm doing my usual Rocking side to side. My friend suddenly goes: Can you STOP doing that? You look crazy! " I wasn't even shocked. I went: " you are the only one looking! Nobody gives a sh it! Do you see people staring? I don't" But it did made me feel bad. Because I felt she was punishing me forr something I have always done and suddenly she says I'm embarrassing her. I was thinking:" you are embarrassing me , why? Why did she go so out of her way to make me feel weird when I excuse her destructive but hidden behaviour?! Needless to say: she is no longer a friend of mine.
I have the leg bouncing too people get annoyed with me and I can't even control it I don't even know I'm doing it until someone says something this made me smile
Was looking for this, I'm a perpetual leg bouncer, to the point everyone points it out to me as I end up shaking tables and such. It's also a PTSD response, but I have both.
Jesus. Scalp picking is something i've been doing since I was a child and i've never been able to stop. It's something i've kept hidden out of shame for decades. I also chew my fingers to where they become raw. I've only been looking into the potential for me being autistic over the past couple of months (thanks to you, and a couple of others). I've been feeling immense relief at having a potential explanation for my 'bad habits', and some insight into why I was bullied so much growing up and why I was frequently ousted from friendship groups.
I used to chew my nails until I found toothpicks to chew on. My hair stimm is rubbing my mechanical pencil on my head, especially on those days when it's statically.
for me, stimming is putting on my headphones and blasting the same song over and over again while maladaptive daydreaming, hand flapping, and making weird noises for an hour.
@@ThinkPositiveDude you've described me perfectly - i'm not even on the autism spectrum! (as far as i'm aware, but im always open to the possibilities)!
Yes, that’s true. I think it just more relatable bc more people do the same thing. I did a little experiment, when I do the “common” neurotypical stoma people don’t really care so much. When I use my own stims in the same groups (and not directly after each other oc) I get negative comments.
@@amachine6556I was thinking the same thing. The leg shaking, pen clicking, hair twirling, etc is usually pretty safe because the ingroup is comfortable with it. That’s what makes it feel discriminatory. If they were truly worried about “disrupting others” when they gave us negative feedback, the ingroup stims would be gone too. It’s the fact that they’re weirded out by our autistic stims that create the issue.
I recently found out I'm in the spectrum this week and I've been reeling at how much of my own behaviors make sense now. I've been stiming the while time but I've always tried to force my self not to because I thought I was resisting going insane! I've been paranoid, especially the last 5 years of my life, that I was just about to snap and lose my mind for ever. Turns out there was never anything wrong with me! I'm just Autistic! I just turned 35
17:11 so I was literally dressing a wound I had made on my knuckle as you hit this part. Thank you 🙏🏻 for helping us know this is not a dirty little secret- it definitely can get ugly though. One thing I have found is that having all the tools (including tweezers, manicure scissors, skin cleansing spray, tissue, healing oil, and fabric Band-Aids that I don’t react to) close to hand helps me to be more focused on helping my skin than harming it. So another form of stimming I guess, trying to substitute the helpful one instead of getting too far into the harmful one
I have had a "blanket" (silky piece of fabric) since I was a child, I am now 47 and still, always have to have something with me, especially if I am heading out, and I know it will be stressful. It really does help to regulate me. Thanks for this post ❤️🤗
i've worn off the silky parts of blanks when i was a kid and even now i wore off one side of my blanket and the other side isn't far behind. though i kept the other pice that fell off it feels so nice between my fingers. I'll also when i'm out talking to someone and I'm neverous or un easy i'll cross my arms or pick at the zits if i can find any and pop them.
I'm 37 and have a raggedy old beanie baby that reminds me of my dad who passed away 14 years ago. There is no age limit on feeling emotionally safe! xxx
That was the best explanation of stimming that I've seen. You had me chuckling away both with how relatable it was and how you presented it, awesome stuff 😺
I have been a skin picker for as long as I can remember and it was classified as self harm before autism was recognised, Thanks for saying there's noting wrong with it!
@@mrm8850 I'm covered in scars and lumps of dry patches from it, I'm better at understanding it now I have come to realise that once I get to that stage of stimming I'm heading for a meltdown and can often, not always but often redirect myself to another more comforting stim.
My son stims very overtly he hand flaps, toe walks, head bangs, etc. I stim more subtly. Realizing a lot of my "bad habits" was me stimming made me feel less shame. I'm trying to redirect it to less self destructive behaviors. I have a spinner ring that helps a bit with the nail biting/cuticle picking. Great topic, Orion!
I headbanged throughout my childhood. Its funny how things get normalised. My parents told me not to do it. I was too small to verbalise why I did it. They didn't punish me but they did say things like: big boys don't headbang their pillows. You did that as a baby". So I would pretend to do it in my sleep😂. My mother went to the doctor(WITHOUT ME-not the first time) and he told her to just let me headbang myself to sleep. But then my father would tell me I'm stupid and weird and crazy(he hated the sound) and him and my sister did the whole 'pretending to be sincere but let's make him feel weird' "But WHY do you do it? It looks so weird. Do you see things when you bang your head? No? Oh okay...I'm not trying to make you feel weird but nobody does that....don't get angry with me! YOU are weird-not me! Go to.your room!" So i stopped headbanging. It was really difficult to surpess it. Especially my leg-twitching. My left arm and leg are always tingling. After years of masking I am rocking the whole time, now! I move my upper torso from side to side in the opposite direction of me hips, that i tilt from side to side. I discovered rollerblading....what a revelation that was! Turns out my stimming hips and shoulders were perfect prep for the skate-movement. I even do groceries on my rollerblades. The sway from side to side is just....heaven.
@@breeinatree4811aaaaaah! More things I resonate with! I am 43 and at home I always walk on my toes! I even put a little 'sha shay' in it when there's music playing😂 and when I feel particularly out of sorts or agitated, I stomp down an imaginary catwalk. I'm a guy but Naomi Campbell ain't got ish on me. I like the sensation of my leg muscles being stretched. When I sit or lie down, I subconsciously, roll my ankles and point my toes. Just to stretch. Or I sit cross-legged and press my abdomen on my legs. It sort of squishes the muscles.
yeah as theres more pressure on the front of your feet, maybe other reasons but it can also be due to sensory with ur feet on the floor, maybe moreso if your sockless on bare floor, you may do it out of disgust of your entire foot touching the floor, or other reasons.@@breeinatree4811
I listen to favorite songs on repeat, too! Late diagnosed here. Never knew that was a stim until recently. I also HAVE to sniff certain smells. Done that my whole life! Thank you for shining the light on these lesser known stims, Orion! You rock!
Sameeee there are times I have to listen to a song for days on end. And when the songs not playing through a speaker, it's in my head on repeat. It's soothing to listen to through speakers but extremely distracting when in my head. No matter what I try I can't concentrate on anything else. And the more I try to concentrate on anything else, the louder the song gets
I don't even know new music. Takes me ages do get around a new song. Been listening to the same playlists fir two years: Muse Live at Glastonbury/Milan/Rome and Nightwish live at Wacken 2013. 😂 and still know all the steps to Beyoncé's halftime show😂 my go to video to calm myself down after a vigorous skate or if I've been to a very busy environment. It sounds counterproductive since the routine is quite vigorous and I sing along as well. Not very calming. It's 15 minutes of constant moving and almost passing out, pushing out the air to vocalise. But when I reach the end of the vid. I'm calm, I'm present and that's when I can get things done. Cook, clean, do chores. Etc.
Wow. Orion really lays his soul to bare. Thank you for being so candid with your own experiences. This helps so much when trying to educate myself about my son’s autism. I was also shocked to realise I myself have stimming behaviour. I write words in the air and picked my lips bloody when younger..so, so insightful xx
I peel the skin on my lips and cuticles til they bleed…. When I think of a number, I see dots…. 5 = ⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️⚪️or put dots on visuals of number in my head…anyone else??
I’m an autistic adult, and I already knew what stimming was, but I think you’ve given the best definition of stimming that made me go from mostly understanding what it is to understanding what it is.
One verbal stim I have is "I want to go home." I say it whenever I start to think about things that make me sad or upset. Problem is I use it when I'm at home. Once while stepping out of the shower to start my day and just the other night when I was in bed, trying to fall asleep for the night. It works, yes, but even I wonder why I'm saying it at times like those ones.
I put on silly voices but I see neurotypical people do it too. Little quips or sayings, they utter under their breath to focus. My go to sound is to say 'Do you know what....?' In a very uppercrust pommie accent(I don't even speak English as a first language ). Or I say: "ah! How clever!" In QE2's voice. I heard it once and found it so funny.
Something kind of similar happens to me, but with a more extreme statement. During one of the most stressful time periods of my life, I developed a habit of repeating to myself over and over "I want to die". I still occasionally do it when I'm very overwhelmed, even though I don't actually want to die at all. And I usually feel bad about it, like I'm being overly dramatic since it's not actually true. But it's a relief to say for some reason
I've been picking the skin around my fingers since I was a teenager and now I'm 25... I'm so glad you talked about it because I was just looking at harm minimisation fidgets before I clicked on your video. It's hard not to feel shame for it. I have the same thing where it's damaged beyond repair and I know it sounds bad when I say it out loud but I find it really hard to fight the urge, and a lot of the time I don't realise I'm doing it.
Something that works well for me to redirect that finger skin picking thing is clicking pens, playing with clay, or ripping small bits of paper wrappers apart. The tearing feeling and resistance of the clay and paper in particular seem to be hitting that point of the physical proprioception in a pleasant way. Tangle Twists also work really well for me.
Literally nothing works for me better than picking my thumb nail cuticles and occasionally other fingers. Typically though, it's just my thumbs. I do love calm strips and some knock off calm strips for scratching and rubbing my fingers on. But still, picking my thumbs is ridiculously hard to let go of. I've tried putting bandaid on my thumbs but it never seems to last. It's one thing that really bothers me because I'm embarrassed about how gross my thumbs look.
I pick at my cuticles too. The clauses I have are pretty epic. I've been tapping my fingers and picking my skin ever since I can remember. My parents told me my fingernails would fall off or something.
Thank you for helping me feel comfortable about stimming and that I'm not alone. I really think I use the repetitive rhythmic nature of knitting and crochet to provide a "grownup" means of stimming. I also find the texture of the yarn and stitches therapeutic as well, and I am constantly feeling and admiring the completed material while I do this.
I know exactly what you mean! I taught myself amigurumi style crochet and it ended up being a great way to stim. I was really surprised how well it helped me focus my mind and relax
Does stimming include smoking ( cigars, cigarettes, pipes, vaping)? Or can alcohol consumption be considered a type of stimming? Or…can eating when not hungry be considered stimming?
Recently self-diagnosed at age 36 and seeking official diagnosis. 90% of the time I laugh at a joke, it's forced and I don't think whatever is being said is actually funny. I laugh because I don't want hurt the person's feelings and I know it's expected of me. However, since becoming involved in the Autism community, I am genuinely laughing regularly for the first time ever. The bit about stroking your phone has me in tears! Also, I loved Inspector Gadget as a kid (because Penny is awesome). I am working my way through all of the videos on your channel and enjoying every moment. Thank you
I'm so glad that you made this video, coz now I know why I do these and don't know how to stop. My dad used to tell me off for pulling my hair and jiggling my leg all the time. I literally do everything on your list. I've watched Muriel's Wedding over 10 times and I can repeat all the words, I never get bored, I find it as exciting as the first time I watched it. When people talk to me or even when I watch RU-vid or tv for some reason I repeat all the words in my head before it even comes out of their mouth. I've been doing this for years.
Calm down, stop tapping your legs, theres no need to be anxious. This is how i calm down and now im more anxious because you're pointing out that im anxious and now i need to supress my way of dealing with being anxious
I shake my legs and tap my feet or tap and i get it gets on my husbands nervs but i cant help it so i get how you feel When im on my own i rock but i dont do that unless im on my own i love being on my own 😁
Thank you for this. As a late diagnosed autistic, just ove ra year ago, I'm now at the point where I'm trying to actively focus on stopping the act preventing myself from stimming. Slowly as I let myself do what's natural for me, I'm finding I start to feel a little more regulated. It's nice. This video was helpful in reminding me that there's nothing wrong with me for my skin picking stims. I keep trying to have fluffy objects around like teddies and popping bubble stim toys for when my skin pickings worse so I can try to divert my stimming focus when it's getting bad and I'm aware of it. Though it doesn't always work. Now I'm much kinder to myself about my skin picking than I used to be as I realise it's just something I have to live with and accept
Trying to hide our authentic autistic selves is a form of masking. Masking can lead onto mental health problems. So good one for trying remember that stimming is OK. But don't beat yourself up if you still find yourself hiding stims in some situations (or even around some people).
My stims were always suppressed by my parents. If I would stim I would get smacked or set in the closet in the dark or tied me up on a chair. As I grew older, I naturally suppressed my own stimming because of thinking it was wrong. Now that I got my diagnosis at a late age, I'm trying to learn to stim again. I consciously have to tell myself that it's ok to stim, and it's ok to be different, knowing it helps me. I find it very hard to unlearn masking. Same as you, I like stimming because it helps regulate myself and prevents meltdowns at times.
Thankyou both of you. And yeah I was a heavy masker my whole life till diagnosis. Diagnosis for me was the card that internally said "you're okay the way you are and don't have to change for anyone again now" Granted, unmasking and figuring out what's beneath that can be hard. But I'm slowly getting there and becoming happier for it. When my ex stepmum lived with us for most of my childhood after my mum's passing as a young kid, she also would punish me for anything tism related, and in full honesty would just make up shit to punish me for. And meltdowns often were punished and seen as temper tantrums. But, now without her around, and with me enforcing my my boundaries with those around me, it's slowly getting less daunting to be my autistic self. Whatever and whoever that might be. I'd say that since he started listening and understanding, my relationship with my dad was the one with the most improvement. And now I can stim without being asked to stop, previously was seen as a sign of unruliness or wanting to not be around. Now they understand stimming is self regulatory and important and don't judge me no more
@@HayzTeeArt I'm sorry you had to go through that. Must have been very hard on you. Happy to hear you also break loose from it and try to find yourself. Yes, it's with a lot of bumps in the road, but it's worth it. It will take a lot of time, but you are worth it, don't ever forget that.
@@Ayreon-TECsystem I felt so sad to read of your childhood treatment. I am glad you are now able to stim and find some comfort. To be honest, sometimes I think the neurotypical people are more maladjusted than we realise. Most of the autistic people I have met are gentle, sensitive, kind, intelligent, funny and pleasant.
My boyfriend really needs to wrap me in his arms, which sounds romantic but he does it so he can stim on me. I have to move his hands around so he won't rub the skin off because he gets stuck on one part of my arm or leg. It's confusing, we're at cross purposes. He really takes his hair apart and and yawns hugely in the middle of a conversation, it happens before he shuts down and has to take a nap. He's 65, has a grown autistic son and has not yet been diagnosed himself although he's willing to be. Thank you for helping me to understand these activities, I recognised that he was on the spectrum shortly after we met but without the diagnosis, I struggle with understanding and communicating clearly with him. Love at first sight. He's so kind that he's easily taken advantage of, so intelligent that he gets lost in his work and so innocent that it's like dating a fourteen-year-old boy. A boy who can't read the room. I'm subscribing.
What about stuff like knitting(or other repetetive craft stuff) and doodling in order to sit still and be able to listen? If I can't do any of that, I have to force myself to sit still and I might completely zone out at some point.
i do excessive doodling in my notebook while in college classes...it does help sooooo much...I think my teachers hate it though because they think I am not paying attention...but it is the opposite...if I don't doodle I definitely won't be paying attention....
One that I do a lot is internal stimming. Sound, rhythms in my head or songs on repeat in my head. I also stim in layers- there might be internal stimming going on as well as smelling pleasant scents and jiggling my foot. It ramps up and down as needed.
I always have a song going through my mind. I also count the number of letters in a sentence and like it especially when it's an even number or 10 letters. Also I like to alphabetize the letters in a word
I can't help imagining melodies on repeat while out walking, in time with my footsteps. It's really annoying actually but when I try to stop, I accidentally start again within seconds 😅
I'm glad that I clicked on this video because you helped me to learn more about myself. Now I know definitely for sure that I am on the spectrum and to be honest it's a sigh of relief 😊
Thank you for validating the experience!! Plus, my apologies Orion: I "shudder" my eardrums. It's some combination of flexing the muscles in throat jaw and ear that are engaged while yawning, and some resistance that requires my eyes closed for full power. Makes a brief pushing sensation and gentle hum/shush sound not originating from the movement of air. Helps me move head conjestion. Also: petting or moving finely machined parts, piling or pulling up a piled chain, singing, that couch-pushing whole body engagement your kid enjoys, and trying a balance board. I am rotten at it, but I like it.
@@citroenboter Me, too!!! I never imagined my eardrum shrugging was part of my stimming repertoire. It's one of my favorite because I can do it during a meeting with NTs that is getting to be too long or too much.
I finally got my diagnosis in 2021 at age 50. I was raised by abusive parents and have been masking even at home since childhood. I also don’t seem to have any stims…until you spoke about music/songs…and I swear you described me! When I really like a song, it will repeat for hours. And I feel so happy and calm then! I hand wring in extreme stress and whenever I was around my parents in adulthood. Thank you for helping me to understand myself better so I can make the most of what I have left of this life.
Such a great video! I was diagnosed at 59 and you can imagine how much of my life I spent trying to repress my stimming! Now at 64, I find it difficult to let myself go and stim...but I'm learning. Thank you for sharing!
I am 63 and discovered my Autism 2y ago. I don't have any of the classic physical stims and kinda envy autistics who do. My self soothing has been largely via singing to myself, either out loud or in my head.😊
My go to stimming is rubbing my index finger over my thumb, I do it when everything is a bit too much. I also pull/twist the skin on my chest and/or troat whenever I feel stressed. I twirl my fingers through my hair when I try to concentrate but this also leads to me pulling indivdual hairs from my head which sometimes hurt a lot but I keep doing it. I bite off skin from my lips, but only if my lips are dry, which leads to bleeding and blisters. I like to chew on hairbands that are "twisted" and I tap my feet alot or "spin" them around. I also like watching lava lamps or shake a snow globe (as a visual stimming). I could go on but I'm gonna stop.
I feel seen! I also pick at my fingers and scalp. I recently got myself a set of rings with freely rotating chains on them. That way I have something to stim always accessible right on my hand. It really helped me not pick at my fingers too much anymore.
Oh wow 😳 I have to say a huge thank you yet again to you Orion, I used to pick my nails and skin around them to the point that my nails and skin around them were always sore and bleeding. I still do it to some degree but because of the many years of criticism and out right cruel comments I have definitely stopped doing to the degree I used to. My thumb nail has been picked to the point that the nail never grows in correctly. Honestly I think somehow I just replaced the finger nail/skin picking with another potentially self harmful behavior.... so I appreciate the fact that you are willing to share the things that might be a little bit personal or even embarrassing so that others can relate and not feel so weird or defective. Love the inspection gadget reference!
I pick at my face . Like squeezing the sebum out of my face. And I also tock back and forth. I fidget with my dreadlocks so I have been putting them in btaids to avoid messing with them all the time. The repetitive patterns that I stim through my drawings. I still have not received a diagnosis for Autism Spectrum Disorder and I just turned 50. . I like to feel different textures. That's why I enjoy making fabric dolls. And I use to spin when I was a child. And as a young adult when I went out dancing I will spin in a circle. Thank you for this video❤
I was an auditory stimmer. I sang to myself, repeated catchy phrases, and talked constantly growing up. I talked to myself. And I danced. That's tough because my siblings shut down any dancing/talking/singing behaviors with teasing that to me felt pretty merciless. Which made me do all the behaviors more. It was a bad cycle. Like one time they were hanging out in the car, talking, and caught me singing to my dog. They honked and scared the living daylights out of me. And teased and teased and teased me about it afterward. I was a pretty oversensitive kid and I was afraid to do anything after that because I was worried they were always just around the corner. 😊😅 I have a door opener/closer. When we go out, it is often all he wants to do. It is a challenge. Maybe I can teach him to push forward instead since the back and forth motion with an exercise of force seems to be something he enjoys.
I love to sing. I also 'play keyboard ' and dance around to the music. I have ear buds in all the time. I'm sensitive to sounds and remember music really well. I never forget a song I have learned. I was even a vocal performance major and lasted only a few months before I broke down and ended up in a psych hospital. I now know it was a burn out and self harm because of overwhelm..I am feeling understood for the first time in 57 years. 🥰
my neighbor had a porch swing and I always like to go sit on it and swing back and forth while she sat in a regular chair and we talked....she was 95 and I was 55 ....anyway I wonder if she thought I was strange.....no I am sure she and many others think that....
I don't see why they couldn't have their own form of autistic behaviors. Love the idea of a stimmy rattlesnake who stims by slowly flicking their rattle back and forth, a bit like a cat swishing its tail.
without having finished the vid, i wanna mention that stimming isn't always negative. sometimes the disregulation comes from feeling positive emotions very strongly! so it helps us deal with that as well :3 orion definitely know this, but some other people may not so i figured i'd comment
Something Ive realised I used to do in school and college was swinging on my chair. I now realise it was a form of stimming for focus. I did it so much that I got really good at balancing myself at stupidly steep and dangerous looking angles to the point where classmates and teachers were basically like WTF are you doing and I really didnt care because I knew I exactly how far back I could go before i was going to start falling 😂. Often times teachers would pull out the "dont do that its dangerous" card and id be forced to stop which would usually be a bummer. I guess at the time I called at a habit but it definitely was a form of stimming looming back at those days lmao. I miss doing that, it was strangely calming.
Thank you for putting yourself out here on RU-vid. I can relate to almost everything you said in this video. Especially listening to the same song (in my case) for the whole day. Stimming helps me focusing, but doesn't prevent me from spacing out.
Thank you Orion, again another good video. Thank you for making us that do these things feel normal. I can look back at my whole entire life and see how I've been doing these things all along. I'm 61 years old now. I did not know I was autistic all these years. I have twelve grandchildren and almost half of them are autistic. I see these things in all of my grandchildren.❤
my worst stimming behavior is skin picking and biting the inside of my cheeks. so many times I do it without even knowing it, until it gets to the point where it starts to really hurt. and if I have a scab it really gets to me when I cant pick it. I have to 3x band-aid it up or I will just pick it until blood is running.
Looking back, as a kid- teen I would sometimes stim by spinning, E.g laying on the floor and spinning myself around on laminate flooring . Or I would have myself lay on the couch, but with my head hanging over the seat edge so I was "upside down", or, at least visually, the room was flipped. I found it relaxing to just look at the room and observe it from another perspective. Probably visual stimming. Until it would make me feel nauseous from being upside down with my head for a while lol
Oh my, I used to love hanging my head off the edge of the couch or my bed and thinking about the whole house being upside down and being able to walk on the ceiling. My son used to do that as a child too. Funny thing is one of my two cats likes to do it as well. She's a very strange cat an adult feral rescue, she's different and I love that about her.
I kept thinking, 'I don't stim!." I have absolutely NO tolerance for repetitive behaviors, pencil tapping, pen clicking, foot bouncing or any other mechanical squeaking or rapping. I would never do THAT myself. :oD Then you talked about other kind of stimming. When I get really anxious or almost overwhelmed, I do word puzzles, or card solitaire games to calm me down and help me re-focus. I thought that was what anyone would do. I have a computer next to my work computer that I kept various puzzle games up. When I can't solve a problem with work or I get stuck, I go to the games for a bit, then come back to my work. And here I thought I was shirking. Thank you for not putting us all in the Rain Man box. I used to bite my nails and pick or bite my skin around my nails, but I've worked to not do that as much. So something else takes it's place.
This. I’ve been listening to the same band every day for about 6 months now (they’re just so freaking GOOD you know?! It’s just such a relief 😂) with some of my other usuals that are more chill thrown in every now and then for the sake of my ears lol *edit because apparently I can’t spell today lol
Been around long enough for vinyl lp on family stero..no cd, cassette even. With stimming aware i looked back and remember sitting by the hi/fi liftning the needle to repeat, repeat. Fidn't feel odd to fo. In my 70s muscle car i hade one tape only. Ted Nugent for cruising from 75 til 80 ... Stimming is so healthy.
hey man/woman, if you like listening to music to calm yourself, give REN a listen to, hes absolutely phenomenal at making music that literally seems like stims for the ears, he has alot of personality in his music and the mouth sounds he makes are similar to that of stims, its no wonder i loved listening to every song, its hugely relatable too.
Depending upon my life situation, the song changes in my head (in the back ground). It will play over and over and over. For the longest time I couldn't tell what that was in the back ground of my mind because I was too busy trying to "multi-task" while being totally stressed out to the max.
I loved Lego when I was a kid and passed on a big box of them to my kids. Every single tire they found in the box had been chewed to some extent by me. On top of that, when I was a kid I used to chew paper like gum. It drove my parents crazy. The interesting deviation from some of your examples is music. I can't stand listening to things over and over and over. I need new sounds and textures so I rarely listen to anything with frequency like you describe. Instead I often go through a period where I have to hear everything that artist has recorded. And when I've hit the wall, where I just can't listen anymore but don't have something else lined up, I feel lost for a bit. But soon I'll pick up on some other artist and go through their stuff. I will eventually return to a lot of these artists and albums but not like most people, I find. I tend to listen to what I listen to for specific sounds and, especially audio textures.
Haha I love it - I'm a professional space cadet! I LOVE spacing out, and I love how you said 'like we had a leash on our mind in the first place' and how 'our minds are absconding - so spot-on! Though I said I love it, it is also an escape during tough times, so those moments are tough, but once immersed in that faraway place, there is peace and I love that. I love peace, don''t we all! Another great and educational video, thanks as always.
Yeah, me too. Spacing out is so regulating and comforting to me. If I'm standing while I do it, then often the stimming of side-to-side swaying and spinning my silicone finger ring kick in. I didn't know what this was until recently, as I'm an older adult (undiagnosed), I just thought it was just part of my quirkiness; well, that too, LOL!
When you brought up the finger picking thing, I realized I have the exact same problem on one of my thumbs just like yours, but I would always think about it and explain it to other people through the lens of just anxiety. Funny how common shared experiences are like this for autistic people. It's crazy to think such specific things could be innate to autism.
my stimming is knee shakes. its actually a movement that originates in the ankles and mid foot muscles, but results in my knees bouncing. sometimes just one knee, but often both legs shaking just to be able to concentrate.
I've only recently started to think / believe that I am likely high-functioning autistic after I was diagnosed with ADHD and it was suggested to me by someone that there is quite often a link between having ADHD/ADD and simultaneously being on the ASD scale in the case of many autistic people so I thought it wouldn't hurt to look into it. I found your channel a while ago and thought pretty much every time I have watched your videos "My God I am exactly like that, I've done that since childhood and I never noticed / realised / thought of it as 'not normal behaviour' or even knew that these are autistic traits/stimming!" etc. I've been looking into things more and more ever since, and I'm realising that it's now pretty much a certainty that I am an undiagnosed autistic adult and in that light-bulb moment - suddenly as if someone turned on a light in the darkness or unblocked a dam - bucket-loads of events from my past came flooding in; like memories of people telling me I'd been rude / come across as "harsh" or sarcastic / nasty when I spoke to people without me ever meaning to be / thinking I was being rude or abrupt etc, how I am always being told I'm 'loud' (despite as a kid I never noticed my voice being any louder than anyone else around me, I was still always told to be quiet or stop shouting), as an adult friends often have had to remind me to be quieter or "stop shouting" / calm down when I get excitable about something we're discussing! Stimming though is something I was not even thinking about / aware that I was doing - yet I now understand the hair-plucking "self-harm", skin picking (yes I do it too), hair-smoothing, certain faces I pull, sounds I make, phrases I use, voices I've learnt to put on or say random phrases in etc are all likely forms of stimming for me as an adult, just as they were in childhood, but I had never looked at these habits / tendencies as things I was doing to "stim" or regulate etc! I just did them...well...because! To me I didn't have a reason, but thinking about it now the majority of the things I do that qualify as stimming are things to help regulate myself in some way or other. Hell, when you mentioned the foot-bouncing / leg-twitching I just now remembered how an ex told me that she hated the constant foot-tapping I do subconsciously whilst I'm sitting on the sofa or on the floor under the table when I was eating in a restaurant with her or sat at my desk playing games etc. I always put it down to just having too much energy / needing to burn off nervousness, but the likelihood is it's one of my many stims too! It's incredible how many things I've realised about myself from just having watched your videos, Orion - and, having taken some initial online screening tests recently for autism and scoring towards the higher end of the "likely to be autistic" scale on all of them, I am now going to push my doctor's surgery for a referral for proper assessment and diagnosis of potential autism. I've struggled with so much - so many different things - for my whole life and never understood why things seem so much easier for other "normal" people and why I, despite always trying to fit in or be part of the crowd or to educate myself on things or learning how to "mask" as best I could by emulating/mimicking friends who were "normal", I just couldn't get on or fit in, in life - I would always end up being thought of as "weird", "odd", "random", "strange" and so forth by 'normal / popular people' and friends who I now understand to be neuro-typical and that I am, in most probability, neuro-divergent and high-functioning autistic spectrum. This kind of thing throughout my whole life has lead to me internalising my ADHD (whereas when I was a child I was hyperactive, so I'd have been running around constantly on the go and not really thinking about much, per-se - rather than now as an adult living a pretty sedentary life my ADHD is internalised and instead of using energy to play games or be active, my thoughts are the thing flying around at lightspeed in my head instead) and things spiral really badly for me some days which often revolves around constant catastrophising, reliving PTSD from childhood, general anxiety and depression and as a result I'm never able to maintain relationships and I struggle with friendships / relationships / just holding down a job for any extended period of time etc. Before finding your content and looking more into it, I didn't realise that so many of my difficulties in life are potentially down to me having gone undiagnosed as neuro-divergent for so long, but now I am trying to find the help and understanding that I need in order to take my life back and start moving forward again and I want to thank you, Orion, for continuing to make this content - as hard and difficult as it is at times for you - it's massively appreciated and I have been sharing your videos with my close family and friends to give them insight into how my mind works differently to theirs and what a potential diagnosis of autism may mean for me!
My son stims with labels on his clothes and moving, but when it’s windy then he loves hand flapping and he will just stand there a flap in time with the wind movement and I actually love seeing him do this. He has a ball chair at home and uses that to bounce on and that helps, but it’s when he just walks round and round you that we generally have to intervene, as I end up feeling dizzy, but he could keep going. We’ve learned to accept whatever Matthew does and see autism as part of his cheeky personality.
Orion, I was waiting for the number 1 stimming habbit that I have : mental stimming. It always comes with some music: a short, repetitive melody which usually comes from memory, a TV add or a song. During a burnout, i will be on high alert when it begins ... at one point during covid, I had piled up so much stress that I was having these 3 or 4 notes on repeat mode in my head like ALL DAY LONG. It was a sign my burnout levels were going through the roof . In a way, it's like a protection trick to go through a lot of BS situations. But in the end, you realize it is actually making you go nuts.
Ok, so, I'm watching your video, sitting in my desk chair that can rock back and forth, so I stopped and sat up, thinking I'm only doing that because of suggestion. Next thing I know, I'm swiveling (remember it's a desk chair, so all kinds of movements are available) a half circle. So, why? I'm enjoying watching your video. It's interesting and informative, so why am I constantly moving? is it because in order to watch the video I have to stay in front of the screen and don't have anything I can do while I'm watching? The visual stimming... sounds like painting is stimming to me. Lots of shapes that go where they will and colours that have to go in just the right places. Hm, never thought painting was stimming but it might explain why I feel I absolutely have to paint otherwise I get very restless, agitated, uncomfortable. And there was I thinking I was a dedicated artist... perhaps I'm just autistic, hahahahahah! Oh and I have to have music blasting while I paint otherwise the silence is way too loud. I have about seven play lists with my favourites in all seven lists - I sometimes get anxious about the poor neighbours who might not like the music I listen to, although there is everything in there because I like all music except for free jazz. I have played several songs on repeat until I memorised all the lyrics and then I was ok, I could move onto the next one. There is one song that is in old english and I couldn't make out what the lyrics were so I wrote to a university that had a department on medieval studies and asked if anyone knew where I could find the lyrics and I received them shortly after that. People are so incredibly nice. I have moments where I cannot sleep at night because I absolutely have to hear a particular song. So, before watching this video, seeing the title, I thought "hm, I wonder if I stim" and so I watched it. Before the video, I could not have named a single thing I do that I would think was stimming.... now, I feel like everything I do is stimming, except cooking, having showers, brushing teeth, trying to sleep. Everything else seems to be stimming. Perhaps I have misunderstood - shouldn't have stopped rocking, perhaps. Also, I think I should point out that I don't actually know if I am autistic - no diagnosis, but I have my suspicions.
Generally speaking - if you have your suspicions you're neurodivergent, you usually are. Most of the neurotypicals I know have never in their lives wondered whether they might be neurodivergent.
Does move objects around, “cleaning” but not really getting anything done, count as stimming? I get stuck organizing things (or really just moving them around..) for hours, when I feel stessed.
Get all your teeth pulled...chewing sensations goes out the window. Not because things may be too hard - but tears up your gums where your teeth were. It can be quite painful. So I've resorted to what comforted me as a kid.....chewing silly putty and or pen caps. Gum is not a viable option. It squeaks on my gums and it's too easy to swallow. I rub my hands a lot as well. Tap on my knees too, but that's mainly my way of reacting to sounds that drive me bonkers. Good ole misophonia....NOT! Rub my fingers as well. Best to have something in between my fingers, otherwise I'll rub em raw. I pick at the skin on my elbows. If its loose, I'm not just gonna pull it off, I'll eat it. If I don't, I get really antsy. That went over real well in grade school back in the 80s....***rolls eyes*** Wearing long sleeves helps unless I KNOW theres skin that needs to go. I grew up being told all these things were wrong and not acceptable in society so I taught myself to keep them private from everyone. Have this thing where I twist a corner of my sock and jam it in between my toes. Not just one toe, at least 3. Twist the end "just right" and weave it in between my toes. This is something I canNOT not do. Also something docs have deemed (towards me) ocd, lol. "How to ruin your socks each week....if you're lucky" If I don't have something in between my toes, I WILL rub my first 3 toes on each foot raw..and getting a bandaid in between toes is a royal pain and a half... especially since I always end up playing with the bandaid with my toes.... Leg bouncing - check Yeah, repetitive playlists, tapes, records, etc. I can listen to one tape/record for several months on end. Drives everyone else bonkers. Another perk to living alone.... But generally - have 7 playlists that I bounce between. On my first playlist and I've currently been listening to it straight for almost two years. 13 songs, 81 minutes..all day, every day. Sure, call it spacing out... I'll refer to it as getting lost in my imagination. :D
I have a topic suggest. Video games and ASD. Video games for me is a major special interest & I've kind of been thinking about what certain types of game genres I enjoy & if it's because of my ASD.
What I thought was Tourettes may infact be stimming and I have done that since childhood so I may actually be autistic with comorbid OCD istead of Tourettic with OCD. I'm still trying to figure it out.
Videos I can play while knitting and crocheting. Red Dwarf, Good Omens, Sherlock Holmes. They stimulate and soothe at the same time, even calm me to sleep. I’ve played them dozens of times and I’m never bored. 😊
Stimming can be viewed as a type of bio-hacking in the context of self care and as you say, self regulation, emotional regulation, to maintain homeostasis.
I am generally fascinated by stimming. Before i knew im autistic i definitely had those patterns of go-to calming things. I talked about them like my personal hacks, i sing a specific song in my mind to calm me down, always this song. And i use other triggers to get my mind in the right mood to do tasks. When in pain i would always rock back and forth, and then my partner pointed out that i do it when im really tired too. I find stimming interesting because it seems so natural to do, but its so shamed. Like animals do it, you may not think of animals as the go-to when you think about stimming but animals and children naturally do this to soothe themselves. I think a lot of NT adults do it too, but they dont realize its stimming and are also shamed for it / ashamed of it. Which i think is such a stupid social thing. Like we have the means to self regulate (im talking people in general) and you let a social construct that YOU make make you feel shitty instead. People create the most stressful situations and then act like they arent stressed and everyone tells you to not be stressed, and to self regulate, but takes away all means of self regulation. Make it make sense! What i meant to say is, its a totally natural thing animals do to calm themselves and it WORKS too. It helps to soothe the brain. My primary stimming is music on repeat, and playing the same game on repeat - when i can. But if im really stressed i will rub my nails against each other until there is an irregularity at which i will scratch until my nail is painfully short. Its not even pleasurable, its just annoying but i cant stop it and it ruins my nails. I suppose itsnot the worst thing but i like my long pretty nails and i like them having a perfect shape. So i get kind of OCD about my nails being short and the sensation of short nails HURTS. Luckily, i never got into hurting myself by picking skin. But i do get how pain can be a way of stimming. If i get really worked up i would stab my finger with a pen or my thigh with a pen or something along those lines. I totally agree with you in regards to the fidget toys. I wish there were more good ways to stim too btw. I found that i hate biting unless im angry. And that i hate most fidgety toys but i decided i need to sit down and find one for me! I want a fidget toy that goes click-clack ideally with that sound. I realized for myself i hate most materials, with the exception of metal. Plastic can be ok but is usually not perfect and sturdy enough and i start picking it apart. I seen a metal fidget toy like a coin, and i want it so bad but i forgot where one could buy it and cant find it. So if anyone knows please let me know. For me personally those infinity fidget toys do not work. I need a click and a clack, something proper, sturdy, final. I need two (or more) fixed options and switch between them. I go absolutely insane if a toy does not have a fixed position like those twirly rings and so on. i seen like a slider wiht a button in the middle but you cant buy that one?? So im really open for ideas. And also again, everyone has their own needs so try and find what works best for you and dont get intimidated by the social media hypes. I honestly most often play with my keys or coins or whatever i get my hands on and i ruined so many many hairclips by going click clack but its also a GREAT way to stim for me
Thank you Orion I recognize now multiple visual stimming my boyfriend does This is huge eye opener for me and the need or understanding why stimming occurs Have a blessed day Orion
I used to suck my thumb and rub a smooth piece of plastic over the bit between nose and mouth. I realised it would have looked weird in adulthood and only did it a night or watching TV on my own. When I stopped I took up smoking it acts as a coping mechanism. I often wonder how many smokers are autistic.
I sucked my pointer finger and rubbed the satin blanket binding under my nose with it wrapped over my middle finger. I took that blanket everywhere until I was seven or so. I slept that way till about 10 when the orthodontist installed prongs inside my teeth along the palate. I smoke like a fiend and wish I could quit
I have struggled with skin picking mostly on my thumb cuticles since forever...Nail cuticle picking... Also nostril flaring, teeth clenching, tensing neck muscles. Good times. I'm sorry you also struggle with this. ❤
I just remembered I went through a hair chewing phase when I was a young child. I've always had long hair and I'd take a chunk from the front and chew on the ends of it. I remember a teacher telling me a story about a woman who had chewed her own hair so much that she had a ball of hair in her stomach and had to have surgery to have it removed. I think that scared me enough to phase it out because I did not continue doing that for long ...
as I started watching this video I was thinking that I don't stim. Oh boy was I wrong. Thanks for the examples, that really clarified it a lot. I would really like to know though if it is possible to switch from one stimming behavior to another, because my skin picking is really a form of self harm and there is no way this makes me feel better or regulated. it is just annoying and harming myself and I would like to stop. but I can't cos there is something 'wrong' with my skin and feel I need to do something about it. And that frequently causes there to be something even more wrong with it. I wish I could just rock back and forth or tap my fingers.
Just now realizing that my trichotillomania/dermatillomania diagnosis when I was 8 was me stimming, and the treatment was just trying to find another stim that was similar enough to hair/skin picking that it was easy to change the stim
I'm 50 and am awaiting official diagnosis (unfortunately I live in England and have already been waiting a year for my referral). I pluck the hairs from my neck with tweezers to the extent that I only have to shave my face and not my neck. Making patterns with my tongue, touching 4 specific teeth is another. Also watching films and series over and over. I must have watched all Blackadder episodes, hundreds if not thousands of times. I also have a single playlist of songs that I only listen to. I would never have guessed these were stimming or even knew the term until very recently. What an amazing channel this is. Thanks Orion!
I highly recommend adopting an effective meditation practice. Our brains need it. If we don't give the brain what it needs, it'll take what it wants whenever it wants. It'll go AWOL and I'll forget to take the highway exit, or any number of things in the act of doing them. Mediation takes practice, but it's really helpful in keeping me present, thus improveming my active memory.
Hi, I’m a 49 year old man living in Australia. I was diagnosed with autism this year. After watching your video I’ve realised I’ve been stimming in lots of different ways all my life. I have been picking at my scalp so much lately that I have a large bald patch, this also happened when I was at primary school. Thanks for your video, I don’t feel quite so guilty and strange anymore.
I used to chew and sometimes eat tissues and sheets of paper. I just like the texture and how it felt to chew them. Yeah that's kinda disgusting. I stopped it I think when I was around 14 years old. When I had longer hair I chew on them too and bite off parts of it. I was spinning a lot as kid. Now I'm still picking my skin and biting my nails. I hate it but I just can't stop. Also I loooove the smell of cinnamon and add it wherever I can .
I had just commented on that, in one of your other videos. When my son had therapy, when he was little, I would have to intervene sometimes, when they would coach him to stop the stimming. If it helps him and if he doesn’t care what people think, then why do I care?! A lot of it he naturally outgrew, but definitely still does it. Some will change or go away and some he will pick up again. There’s only one, that will bother him, when he’s more stressed and we work that out and give him another way to release that and relax him. We have to pay attention to not try and make autistic people fit into society the way we fit…because Jesus, look how we’re all doing in society as neurotypicals….IT IS A MESS OUT HERE!! WHO THE HELL ARE WE TO SAY?!
OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I thought I was stupid for not being able to stop picking - and that I was the only one so strange and stupid!!!!!!! THANK YOU FOR BEING HONEST!!!!!!!
I sometimes have wondered if skin pulling and picking is an autistic remnant of primate grooming -- which is also a soothing, regulating act. We no longer accept doint this for one another, but some of us still need it -- so we have to do it on ourselves.
Dear Orion, is there a way to cope with a massive change whilst is a must? A small Church. I haven’t been outside my home for weeks, only leaving for max 1 hour by taking a cab. I get exhausted because afterwards . How to cope with a non planned invitation to a friend’s home to have a “delayed ( by me ) “ cup of coffee. I ended up with my brain feeling beaten to a pulp. Absolutely disregulated
Ahhhhh. "Head-bob to the music all you like, Mom. You won't embarrass me." And now, I'm dancing in the kitchen whenever I like (within reason) lol. Thanks, Mate.
Orion, you are so lively and I resonate with your ideas, suggestions, with my autism, or asperger's syndrome, whatever that might be, having remained undiagnosed for 50+ years.😊
30:33 30:33 Ohhh. I do that and that and that & didn't realize. Yes! I'm going to do more! Better stims! More, better! Ice- don't chew that. You've freed me of some some self criticism. Thank you!
