The INFJ and Social Comparison (Not Feeling "Good Enough") 

Hey INFJs out there, don't be too hard to yourself.

" I am a single Dingle" Hahahaha😉

" Put it down , not like on a desk, but like inward " So INFJ of you to explain ;)

I know a great INFJ therapist in windsor maryland if anyone is around there

Now that was a heck of a video!!! 👉🏻👍🏻 Thank you James

Get out of my head! REEEEE!!!

Sameeeee

Yet, you know you are good enough. It is a crazy loop to be in.

Are you me?

I genuinely feel this

Oh...right. :(

Yeah , i mean is our self esteem is necessarily and exclusively related to accomplishment ?..

That's me

This is exactly the line I was going to highlight too. Just... bam.

@@estherbednar3260 that really hit, didn't it😭

Haha...me too

yes same it makes me feel like he respects me

INTJ here but I can relate

Word

Geez...I finally found my people. I’m dealing w/ that right now. And when i do stick up for myself instead of being railroaded, I feel gross and regretful.

I think it's more that I will work impossibly hard for people I respect, but not impossibly hard for myself. I think people confuse that for lacking confidence in myself, when in reality I see myself as a servant leader, and a lack of understanding on what i really want when I'm leading. The only way I found to push myself internally is to find people I want to emulate, and figure out how to get closer to that image of a person in myself.

yes, exactly

In other news, he also used airy-fairy, which is legitimately a word no one ever uses! 😍

Love it❤

😆

Now you have a video to show them! 😍

It’s also sad that your therapist doesn’t understand this about you. I have had the same issues w/ previous therapists.

@@ravishingtwinkle3811 Well, that's not helpful at all. That's like the most standard thing to say.

@@presentlybikepacking2535 Don't go to therapists as an INFJ - we're only 1% of the population. Now, the chance so f your therapist helping you are exactly 99% against. maybe you're quirky and don't want to be? Tough. You are quirky at best, a weirdo at worst. Now exploit your quirky best.

It’s okay brother my therapist struggles to understand me too. Don’t stress about who you are. Who you are is exactly who you’re meant to be & who you strive to be is exactly who you will become. Your therapist & my therapist will understand us.

GENIUS!!!

@@angel-garcia. exatly

Like that would help

Well I’m friggin killing it you guys. I just won hermit of the year at my house

I'm there

Jenna, great quote! Shame is a big one.

⚘🌞 u made my day

Thank you...lovely quote.

I literally laughed out loud to this comment It's like.. I wrote this..

That quote just burned a hole in my heart. It captures my whole life story. Gonna go get it tattooed on my forehead. K bye

Yes. True.

I relate to this! I feel like a phony when I toot my own horn so to speak. I notice people who are my equal, because I can see this now, getting ahead. For me, it's because I don't know how to sell myself and I don't know how to schmooze.

Exactly! That’s the loop in our heads, tho. I know that, but knowing doesn’t make it disappear. Self affirmation every day really has helped.

I've been experiencing the same thing. It's like no one wants what I have to offer with my 5 decades of experience.

People don't usually go out of their way to recognize other's talents. They think about themselves mostly, and they strive to compete with others. They usually choose to be around people that are more convenient for them, not the most talented or honest. At least that's what I noticed. INFJs do the opposite, they take the time to appreciate others, so we think everyone does that. That's why we think other people should do the same, but they don't. That doesn't mean you're not good enough.

Lindsey B I relate thanks for posting

Architecture is soooo cool!

Architecture is an extremely demanding major, I bet lots of students feel that way. If you love it I hope you will keep going (and if you don't love it I hope you will find something you love).

Liz L You don’t know how much your comment means to me thank you so much!! I really hope you do what you love too. It is very demanding and a lot of pressure but I will persevere with it!! Good luck to you too and I really appreciate it 💗😊

Omg Im going to study architecture too, next year. (and I am assuming you're an INFJ)

Can you give some link for a good video from Jordan Peterson?

@@hanee8049 Better if you just search for "Jordan Peterson Life Advice" here. Then watch what seems relevant to you or binge every thing you can find. I have not watched any thing with him that was not worth watching. The examples he can give to explain stuff is amazing.

@@hanee8049 Peterson is supposed to have some pretty strange ideas about women though. Just FYI because your name sounds female

@ilkldme Give me some examples of why you think he is "trash".

@@sirupsee4698 That is some ridiculous label put on him by extreme broken feminists who can't see truth for their ignorant ideology. Watch the full 15 min. of this: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-kj7VgBnQNUc.html

I relate a lot to INTJ videos, but am 100% INFJ.

I confuse myself as INTJ even as INFJ.

I'm INFP, but I also really relate to this!

I relate to it a LOT. (INTP)

Sof can honestly relate to this. The same thing happens to me

Ahhh glad to know I'm not alone!

Same Thought.

I was thinking that too. Perfect timing.

Joseph Beekman I agree

Good Luck!! ^-^

Yeah I don't even install some social media just because they are popular but without any true meanings or benefits

My family does not understand me when I tell them social media is poison for me but life is so much better since I left.

I'd be off of social media yesterday if I didn't have a business that relies on it. 😒 Such a good point.

I am so glad I never got into any social media... I mean I guess RU-vid counts lol

Personally, I get on Instagram once a week for about an hour or so and then delete it, not to download it again until the next week. Works really well for me

Gadul A big yes, Life is like death by a thousand cuts

You've opened my eyes with this comment😱 I didn't realize I was doing this, not even after watching this video, now I get it. But, well I've gotten pretty good, I'm friends with an ISTJ and whenever I rant, he's like telling me what I needed to hear. (Sounds weird for an INFJ to rant, isn't it? Well I kinda have a hard time ranting with anyone else but him)

Same 😓

Floral Moral agree, it opens a door to another world.

sana lll Saaaaaaaaaaaame

Yep! I compare myself, to the person the voice inside TELLS me that I should be... And if and when I make it, the voice then expects and wants better and better!

@@tamielizabethallaway2413 Yes true!! Also I can't take compliments.When I hear one I think "No, I'm not that good."

@@sanalll2875 yeah, i think "oh that's nice thank you" nice of them to say it, but I don't agree! I wrote my own comment actually, above (further up in comments) talking about that very thing! 😘

@@tamielizabethallaway2413 I saw the comment now and yes that voice really makes us doubt everything we do. But we should not forget that we always try to give our best for every little thing so this is what really matters. 💓

What if in another culture, another place your ability to feel others emotions, wish to help them and seek to do your best correctly was considered of the highest order. Fussing with our tasks may be part of that farmer, hunter, gatherer thing and worrying may have meant you lived through a winter that year. Unfortunately in our civilized lives the stress can hurt you. But I also read some stress , like weight lifting helps us. A little stress not a lot. I was watching a bird video and the birds in Alaska remembered where they hid food more often than other birds. They had to. I was also thinking about women wanting to crash the glass ceiling. Lots of people and groups want to. I think for INFJ that ceiling is infinite and everlasting. They are flying and they get upset that ceiling isn't crashed. Me, I just want some eggs in my basket. I'm putting all my eggs in one basket. Sorry, the 50 tracks going on at once in my mind. Fred Astaire song. Tap dance.

@@eljaykayaye1186 yeah maybe...? Maybe i should be head woman of my village or something and have people come praise me and seek my blessing and wisdom...? 😁 Even then I'd probably say, "don't kneel, are your knees hurting? Here get up and sit on my throne and I'll crash on the ground" 😂 I do often think about our primal blueprint or DNA or whatever it's called. Actually I often think about a lot of things, i can ponder pretty much any subject for hours at a time... And play out the conversation I'd have with others about it... Whilst on my own...! (Did I just admit that...?) 🙄 But yeah, that ancient built in thing way back from our ancestors who used to have a tail... Cavemen whacking their women over the head with a club. Actually, there's still a few like that around! They say some of us are still 4% neanderthal, so as much as we've evolved and like to think of ourselves as a superior species, there's a lot of our origins that we tend to ignore as if it's in the past, but it's still within our make up! ARE we that evolved really..? I don't know so much. It seems the more humans gain in knowledge and education, the less they have in common sense and gut instinct. I think of medieval times, a feudal society, and wonder, "is that really such a terrible system?" In a literal sense of course it is, but with some tweaking I think it has a lot going for itself. For a start everyone was a valuable cog in a much bigger machine, whereas today there's a vast gap between the richest and poorest. A lot of people nowadays live alone, which in itself causes melancholy, there's tons more waste, and everyone is fending for themselves in every aspect of life... Or working 2 jobs to pay others for the things they can't do alone. At least then people worked the land, there was food for all, communities, larger families of multi generations, and everyone had a role. Even those who couldn't do much could still felt like they contributed and had value. Is it really any different than working for a corporation these days for minimum wage and trying to hold onto the roof over your head... On your own? I think it's easy to see why cults are formed and joined, why communities like the Amish ARE actually still relevant in today's world, why people follow religions with no proof of the existence of God, other than their faith itself. A sense of belonging and community. A family. To be amongst others who feel the same and therefore don't feel out of place. Maybe INFJ's need to form a commune? Maybe, in a way, that's what this comment section is a replacement for? We don't like to be thrown into a huge bundle of people, yet we still seek acceptance, validation and reassurance as much as, if not MORE than other types! Which is contradictory in itself. As are we. 😊 I love watching animals and birds and noticing their primal behaviour. No questioning of their purpose or seeking to go it alone! They just "are" rather than always longing to be. Aren't we actually a lower species in comparison, we can do pretty much anything now yet don't know why we want to do half of it! Other than just because we can. No point in a lot of it, and mostly personal quests rather than the good of all. I'll stop waffling now or I could literally ponder my way through the alphabet and back again without a second thought! Thank you for your alternative way of looking at things. That's sometimes the most poignant and valuable assistance anyone can give! I appreciate it! I'm no Ginger Rogers though, so I won't be doing any tap dancing! But I'll go ponder your perspective now. 😘😘😘

@@tamielizabethallaway2413 🤔😊

The E and I versions of the other letters think the same right?

The moon looked incredible here the last couple of nights: big and full and very yellow: almost orange. But I think the colour was probably due to a higher level of smoke particles in the atmosphere.

@@xero6396 Sometimes we just gotta appreciate the pretty face of the bad shit lol

@@Raev222 I agree.

btw the video helped me a lot, thank you frankie ❤️