The Internet's Darkest Secrets!!! 

This should definitely become a series it's disturbingly awesome

"I accidentally killed seven people." "Yo."

Tom: Felt cute, might fake my death and move to Kenya later, idk

Guy with the rag didn't burn the place down. He left it shoved in the exhaust and the family died from the fumes that were supposed to be exhausting out the house.

This literally went from “i flung a turd in my wall.” to “I accidentally killed seven people.”

The rag was in the flu. I’m a mechanical tech. When he blocked that with the rag the carbon monoxide didn’t exhaust out. Instead it went into the home. They probably passed in their sleep. Sad sad story. This is why we have licenses to work on that stuff. Prayers for relief to that man

7:21 Girl: Are you the man of my dreams? Him: No, but also, yes

Copying Essays from with other languages is basically the bread and butter of every european student my guys...

That one confession about the person who died at sea who’s now living in Africa, sounds very much like a missing persons case I’ve seen videos about years past.

Nobody: Guy who moved to Kenya coming back to the US: *REV UP THOSE FRYERS!*

16:01 The absolute terror on Austins face killed me💀💀💀

The skyscraper one actually makes me sick. My city was destroyed by 2 big earthquakes, almost 200 people died and 2000 were injured (a population of of roughly 360,000). It’s been 8 years and we’re still recovering. Our people and beautiful historical architecture, our city in general will never be the same. We have even stricter regulations in building now to avoid something like that happening again. I can’t image anyone knowingly building something that could end in such devastation

Looking for the comment that says "I finally made the DickeyDines Show"

Watching Dickey’s face slowly transform as Jared reads these stories is in my top 10 forms of entertainment

I kind of get the guy who “lied” about abuse as a child, because when I was a kid I had a violent stepfather that hit me and a manipulative mother that guilt-tripped me, and as a teen the stepfather exited and I downplayed the upbringing as “fine”. It wasn’t until I was an adult and cut my mom out that I realized “holy shit, none of that was okay”

I thought I'm pretty fucking weird and have really dark secrets. Seems like I'm pretty normal in comparison with these secrets

the IT guy story is heavy o.o damn, he's sitting literaly on an atom bomb

23:52 I don't know why, but the background music really fits well with that confession 😂 Edit: You guys should do another video like this, but ask yourselves if what these people do is morally right or wrong

4.0 earthquake is a really common thing. It happens 30,000 times worldwide annually

Now I feel pretty good about myself, thanks guys!

One of that dude’s family is gonna be on a cruise with a stop in Kenya one day and they’re gonna freak the f out

3:23 There was a huge youtuber girl who did that here in Brazil. She translated, word by word, a script from a english video about a anime and just read it in portuguese to her audience, looking that she wrote herself. When she was caught she disappeared from the internet.

Please do a #2 on this topic sometime!

About the IT guy knowing so much about coworkers and bosses. I'm in IT myself, and you have no idea how easely you learn secrets of coworkers, bosses and even the company itself. Just because of mails getting flagged in the mail filter with some spicy info, or when fixing someone's computer and seeing some documents and ofcourse when backing up something seeing file names pass by. Even if you don't look for secrets you just see things all the time you didn't mean or even want to.

"That's like when you love someone you're whole life and then they die" my husband died last year and I just hosed myself laughing when you said that ,yes I have a very fucked up sence of humor

That rag in the exhaust probably filled the house with carbon monoxide

I still haven't gotten into 1 minute of the video and when Jared said ''Tittie Turtles'' that face Austin made killed me, LMAO. Like ''Hey, that's pretty good!''

I don't think the rag caught on fire. He stuck it in a valve to keep debris out and forgot about it before installing the tank, and he turned the gas on with the rag still in there. So I think the seven people died because the rag was clogging the tank and they got carbon monoxide poisoning lol, at least that's how I took it.

hands down one of the most interresting dickeydines episodes ever!

20:02 i was that guy once... Sometimes i still am.... I'm ashamed of how lonely I am....

The cake thing pisses me off! I worked as a pastry chef and made wedding cakes from scratch. I was about 18 at the time and sold a 3 tier wedding cake for over 300 dollars. One of the best moments of my life period!

nobody: fbi: *HAS ENTERED CHAT*

I WANT MORE OF THIS!!

Yo that essay one, I also speak a different language so ima now use that in class. Thanks for the idea lads

Creepy yet informative how much twisted stuff is out there. Any of y’all familiar with Project Monarch? That’s another creepy story with many people covering and testifying peculiar actions.

Some of Austin's facial expressions are just priceless

"I flung a poo at a hole in the wall"

I love how Austin’s eyes opened as Jared was reading at 16:01

This pretty much finally confirms for me Ricky Gervais' point about how the internet is the largest toilet wall in the world.

8:45 that is probably my favorite moment of Dickey for years

20:22 The man I've loved for the past three years just died last wedesday...

You guys always brighten my day so thanks mates :)

16:29 haha their name YOURHOTBABYSITTER

I keep coming back just to watch Dickey’s reactions during the babysitter story

That's not how colour blindness works and that's probably the reason why the person was able to convince so many people, because the condition is widely misunderstood (although I have no idea how he was able to convince the optometrist). It's not that you "don't see colour" it's more like having trouble distinguishing between certains colours and certain shades. The human eye essentially uses the RGB system to perceive colour, having three types of cells that react to different wavelengths of light (different colours, mostly corresponding to red, green and blue/purple). In a colour blind person's eye, one type either doesn't work at all, in which case the two remaining types are used to attempt to correct for the difference, because their sensitivity spectrums intersect somewhat, or one type is defficient in it's sensitivity. This divides the condition into 2 types (complete or partial loss of perception), each having 3 subtypes based on which base colour's perception is impaired. If you decide on which condition you would have (I'd personally recommend a partial loss of perception of any of the 3 colours, red or green being the most common), you could fairly convincingly fake it. I guess it went something like this: The person started telling his parents and his peers that he can't distinguish between certain colours. People probably didn't pay attention to it at first, so he had time to read up on the condition (good job, I'm impressed), so by the time he was sent to the optometrist, he had already decided which condition he would be trying to fake. Now, we get to the part that I'm not quite sure about, since I'm not aware of what would happen if I went to the optometrist claiming I had colour blindness, but I'll try to explain anyway. The Ishihara test is rather simple, and could be prepared for in advance, so if that was the only test the optometrist was doing, you could convince them. It consists of an easy to understand concept: distinguishing numbers made up of dots in a field made of dots of a different colour. A colourblind person won't be able to tell what the number is, so you could just learn in advance which colour combinations you should be unable to perceive. Again, very impresive. Still, I have no idea why anyone would want to do this, because I don't see a benefit in claiming to be colourblind, in fact, I can imagine that it would give you a lot of problems while seeking a job, or you would get in trouble while getting a driving license.

26:11 the way Austin says that is very amusing. Also, Cvm Box dude seriously quoted Gandalf when he described Gollum to Frodo.

You sure that guy from 10:46 isn't Mark Zuckerberg using Facebook info?

AN ALMOST 30 MINUTE DICKY DINES?!?!? HOOK IT UP TO MY VIENS!!!

Love the lighting in this vid the color really pops

4:53 I’d come back as soon as I could, just burst in “did I miss lunch?”

I’ve been counting the days until I can move out of my home as far away as possible for about two years now. My family emotionally abuses me and my sister and I find myself thinking that when they die or forget about me I will finally be able to live comfortably without fear

The cake thing I totally get. She said she does wedding cakes, right? All you gotta do with them is have a basic ass sponge and do really fancy icing. And it's the icing that takes the time/effort. My friends mum owns a cake business and they buy all the sponges in.

So is Austin living with Jared now? It seems that way from the first two minutes...and I think that's so awesome!

bro that guy living on his bunker is basically the Parasite movie plot

As to the story at 14:25 the House didn’t burn down. The exhaust was blocked and the house filled with carbon monoxide gas and suffocated everyone inside. I’ve gone through heat and air school and been involved with this type of work for a few years.

I'm trying not to choke on my food while watching this. You guys are gonna actually kill me

6:00 Well, see the thing is here, and I can really only speak for myself but, as someone who constantly makes cakes from scratch, I am very much able to tell the difference between boxed and actual cake mix. Thus I am guessing bakers in general could also tell, so she better hope that she never has to serve cake to a cake baker on accident, because otherwise the jig is up!

0:42 - The Whip with the COD Zombies sound effect killed me LMAO! Good Work Guys

23:06 the funniest thing I've heard all day

As someone who also works in IT and similar fields I can attest to the stuff people do on monitored emails and stuff is absolutely mind blowing

“If I had a diary.” Jared totally has a diary.

2:18 i would consider that abuse

My new favorite thing is The DickeyDines Show. Now you know.

"no reason, i just wanna pick it off you later" That had me dying.

4:10 michael de santa is typing..

The IT guy could really have fun with people.

Austin is one of the most genuinely funny dudes I've ever seen.

Ok but which subreddit is this from?

20:41 thats ffed up. There is no such thing as discrete paperwork, that guys dad was being made in to a scapegoat (most likely knowing about it tho) so booo to the entire company , knowingly endangering people

It was amazing when we went from flinging shit into a wall to accidentally killing seven people.

4:24 Yeah, that’s something I’d do if I was 20 something and didn’t do my taxes for a whole year and pay off my student loans.

The third one I do myself all the time. I speak russian so I just translate a russian essay into english.

I didn’t want this video to end. We need a several part series to this.

You should make a second part, I really enjoyed this

Imagine if that diary-wife is a subscriber too xD

Austins fucking face from 16:02-16:24 kills me LMFAO (Even though its perfectly undersrtandable)

Austin: "Where do you work, the mafia?" Me, not expecting the mafia part: *proceeds to spit out drink*

If that cake girl is who I think it is, everybody definitely knows.

15:18 (knocked loose EP instensifies)

Bringing a whole new meaning to Piss water

Once my friends and I set an abandoned house on fire in my childhood neighborhood. We found a can of kerosene in the shed and set it on fire. Another kid in the neighborhood was seen playing with a lighter earlier that day by adults. He had nothing to do with the fire but since he was seen with a lighter he got the full blame for something he had no connection to.

Man, and I felt bad about procrastinating during finals....

23:26 Woah, watch it Dines 🤣😂😅

Banjo & Kazooie music made the tone of the vid... confusing in a enjoyable way

* Banjo Kazooie Music Plays *

The internet never fails to amaze me

That statement was before the pause and Dickmeister comes on to show the whole story! Icing n finishing is KEY to the sale of food

I love this video :D You should do these a lot more often!

These were actually way crazier than I was expecting 🍻

16:15 Austin’s face tho

Love this video, I'm hoping for another one. Keep it up guys, I really like your content!

16:56 SWEEETT HOOMMEEE ALLLAAAABAAAAMMAAAA

this is literally a horror movie that came out in the past year

Even if you are having a bad day, nothing is as bad as some of these that these people have to live with everyday. Just keep that in mind

12:12 they have to be talking about a grocery store or some office job

I definately did that essay copy thing, since i've always been pretty fluent in english I found it very easy to just translate it to swedish while blasting some good music in the background

"He left a reg"... Gave me a laugh

The wife one was amazing!!!!!

2:13 Tallah while writing Matriphagy: WRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN!

Please make more of these! This is the best one I've seen from you guys yet 🤣