The Internet's Most Absurd Lies 

"Fat, smelly elf bussy" is possibly the most horrific thing I've ever heard

“What’s up pranksters, today we’re gonna gentrify a neighborhood” was way funnier than any background noise has any right to be.

"and if you're upset with me, just shift to a reality where I didn't say this and we're all good" IM FUCKING PISSING MYSELF AT THIS

As someone who's paranoid and struggles with depersonalization, the whole shifting thing made me really worried about all the younger kids who could develop maladaptive daydreaming and become worse and worse because they think it's normal :(

“Alex you got me fucked up” is frankly the only real response that matters.

i wish i could shift to a reality where id never heard the phrase “fat smelly elf bussy”

GUYS I WAS EATING A GRANOLA BAR AND IT FELL OUT OF MY MOUTH AND CLICKED ON THIS VIDEO AND LIKED AND SUBSCRIBED OMG

at a previous job, i asked one of my managers if he was gonna get the vaccine our company offered at the time. he responded with that "do you have an std" bs "ya know, i might have an std or two. so you getting that vaccine?" he stared at me, so i asked "why? you have an std too?" he still stared at me, with a 'i never thought i'd get this far' look

everytime i watch one of kurtis’ videos, he looks more and more like a 70’s sitcom father

"Instead of stopping global warming, world hunger or...James Charles..." I laughed so hard I accidentally spit a piece of egg out of nowhere, it got mad, vaccinated me, and now...I'm a drone.

i watched this with my dad on the couch and when we got to the “dad gave me a hickey” part he got up and moved across the room. the discomfort is palpable. aside from that great video!

I love how he's so respectful about the things he discusses, even if he thinks it's fucking stupid

kurtis asking himself 'what am i doing' as he's squishing a piece of egg on his iphone is comedy gold. for once in my life i wanna say 'thank you jake paul'

Imagine unlocking the power to breach universes and you go to fucking riverdale

The closest I ever came to shifting (which is just lucid dreaming) was when I went to bed after taking a very strong edible. In the dream I noticed my tattoo, was surprised and thought, "wow, how could I forget that I had a tattoo?", then VIVIDLY remembered sitting in the chair at the tattoo parlor and feeling the pain from the needle. I have never gotten a tattoo.

the saddest part about these “shifters” are the fact that they probably just have maladaptive daydreaming disorder or they heavily lucid dream and need to seek help for either one of these. it’s so frustrating to see people go around and act as if these “realities” are real and convince children to become obsessed with trying to “shift” when there’s evidence of these universes being completely fictional. it’s genuinely upsetting

imagine: you’re eating eggs for breakfast as a piece falls out of your mouth, scheduling a covid vaccine appointment, thus bringing upon the transformation from human into drone & speeding up your plan of world domination

if i had a nickel for every time kurtis has green screened himself into his own room, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice

“Our father who art attack in heaven” is permanently engraved in my mind

as an atheist, i can confirm we randomly go up to people and harass them on the truth of they're religion

The way Kurtis was speechless after he liked a tweet with egg

Therapist: “Hickey Dad isn’t real, he can’t hurt you.” Hickey Dad: (pulling off therapist mask) get pranked!

When the vaccines were initially being released I asked my hairdresser if she was getting it, she became genuinely insulted and said "that's like asking a woman if she's had an abortion." Anddd I haven't been to her since

The egg thing only works when you're holding it because it's a matter of electric conductivity! the electric current passes through the egg and into your hand (and thus, your grounded body) but when it's just the egg by itself, it's not grounded, so there's no conductivity happening.

I like how nobody is talking about "fat smelly elf bussy" because really I don't think any of us should.

plot twist: Kurtis secretly shifts to Kurtistown and cries himself to sleep wishing he was really a mayor

I did a cool backflip the other day but no one saw it except Obama, and he gave me a crisp high five. Then everybody clapped

as a shifter myself, it's 100% a form of lucid dreaming and maladapitive daydreaming. if you don't separate reality and the dream, it definitely can be detrimental to your mental health.

Watching Kurtis press an egg onto his phone while contemplating what he's doing is by far the funniest thing ever

The nutterbutter incident has “and everybody clapped” energy

Who’s going to tell the shifters that Americans don’t go to Hogwarts, they go to Ilvermorny

an old friend of mine claimed that they shifted to Hogwarts and they were telling me the story. They said that I was in it, and they made every single detail some thing that I wanted, or some thing that I asked about it was like the exact same thing that I would’ve wanted and it first I was like oh my gosh, that’s so cool and then I started to realize there’s no way that if you shifted into a different reality for yourself, every single detail went along with what all I wanted there’s no way

"hasn't jk rowling done enough damage" i literally cackled so hard egg fell out my mouth and liked this video

I will never forgive Kurtis for making me read/hear the phrase: “fat smelly elf bussy”

Shifting is more popular now than ever and it's scary because I saw a video saying they were going to "permanently shift" and all the comments were encouraging them??? Like they were all "I'll miss my family but I know this is better for me" - uh... That's concerning.

My favorite lie is the snapping glue one because I was willing to believe it was a lie just by an 8 year old somehow being able to buy nice earrings but then it just keeps going lmao

"the group of nonbelievers fell to their knees" has the same energy as "the jock dies instantly"

I ask my son who works in Detroit as an auto industry engineer if he's ever heard of "Iron" and he said yeah they're using it to create the Chevy Silverado. When i told him that's what was in our blood his jaw dropped...his words were trucks, they are making trucks.

i have participated in “shifting” and its really just maladaptive daydreaming. i have issues with dissociating and i think that ppl advertising shifting can be very dangerous (but it is also a coping mechanism that i personally use so idk man :,)

As somebody who has done EVERYTHING in my dreams (like lucid dream and tell a person in it, it’s a dream, who acted confused) they were definitely just dreaming.

I love that Harry Potter canonically has an American school but these people still pretend that if they existed in that world they would go to British school

Kurtis isn’t really real. He’s actually a drone. I shifted to an alternate reality where Draco Malfoy actually told me.

I think the thing that makes me upset is people lying about shifting. In my experience, I consider it a form of very detailed lucid dreaming (I have "shifted" before, and it just felt like I was dreaming in a disturbingly real way)

my dad is anti vaxx and the 'drones theyre making drones' is so true (id love to be a drone tbh). he thinks there are nanobots in them 😭

It's not about whether Kurtis' jokes are corny or not. The *real* focal point is the masterful level of which he commits to the follow through.

Part of me hopes Hickey Dad is a recurring character. The other part of me never wants to see him again.

I remember when a while back I got into Shifting, and honestly it really was just a coping method for me at the time, I was basically just maladaptive and lucid dreaming

I remember watching a TikTok about shifters and it said you can’t kill people in those other worlds since they’re real and it would make you a murderer. I thought the comments would make fun of them but they were all agreeing and those who disagreed were attacked. Some people have lost touch with reality.

Your gradual development into the 70’s/80’s dad aesthetic is the biggest reason I keep coming back.

Ok but i need someine to explain when the girl at 21:47 meant by "we know Hogwarts is real bc we saw it in the sky", like what?

I developed maladaptive daydreaming in like elementary school. Im sure some of these people are lying but I believe most of them have trained themselves to develop this struggle

imagine having the power to literally go to any reality you want, and you chose to shift to RIVERDALE of all places.

Just gotta say: if that girl had actually gotten a Hogwarts letter, she would be expelled before she even went for exposing the wizarding world to Muggles

10:00 “not again” This implies it happened at least once before

15:50 his dad has to be an alien, he actually apologized for making his kid uncomfortable.

Kurtis: doesn’t believe a single text post he sees Cody Ko: believes every single thing on the internet he sees

“Fat smelly elf bussy” is not a sentence I ever expected to hear, and I hope I never have to hear it again

A thing about shifting: If it's real how do we know that it's not 2 way, is every time someone shifts to Hogwarts is 1 step forward to having Voldemort shift to our reality and kill us all

13:42 i feel like being given a hickey by your dad doesn't make you white trash, and more makes you a victim lol

The best/worst thing about these Hogwarts is that even if Hogwarts were real they wouldn't be getting letters since the majority aren't 11y/o British children.

Kurtis looks straight out of the 80s nowadays

21:50 Its weird that that lady got a letter not just because Hogwarts doesn’t exist but also because she’s an ADULT that just got excepted into a middle/high school. Sure it’s a magic school, that doesn’t mean 20-something year olds are allowed in. Harry was literally 11 when he got his letter lol.

Of all the realities to "shift" into why go into a middle class power trip with horrid writing

I actually went to hogwarts once. It all started when i was getting my drone vaccine and my egg fell out of my mouth while getting nutter butter. Then, a lady flew into me with a shopping cart so hard it sent me to Hogwarts. Then everyone clapped.

Hi Kurtis, I cried laughing at "just shift to a reality where I didn't say this" that is a top tier comeback and I'm obsessed with it thank you

I thought Shifting was real because "I did it" a couple of times. It was a long-term hallucination, induced by depression and insomnia. I even told people I was able to do that , I was so sure that was a real thing (Sorry if I make any mistakes, English is not my first language)

I used to be really into shifting and I attempted it over the course of several months. I like to write, so one of the strategies I tried was to anticipate one of my characters meeting me and helping me travel to my desired reality. One of the times I tried, I saw my character come to meet me and he grabbed my hand, like I decided he would. But instead of helping me, he scowled at me and yelled that I didn't deserve to go. I remember my vision becoming clouded over, almost like tv snow. Another time, I decided I would simply wake up in a bed in an apartment in my desired reality. I was lying on my back in my bed, focusing on shifting, and after maybe fifteen minutes I realized my ceiling looked different and the walls around me were a different color. I tried to look for the other details I had planned for the apartment, but it was difficult to focus and eventually everything switched back to my real room. A lot of people have said that shifting is just lucid dreaming, and I can see why. However, I don't think I've ever had a truly lucid dream; I've become aware that I was in a dream while dreaming, but have never had complete control over a dream. Can you really do whatever you want in a lucid dream, or does everything stay within a range of logic/believability? Can unexpected things happen in a lucid dream, like the impression I got from shifting, or are you completely aware of and deciding everything that happens? I'd love to hear other people's thoughts on this, since I have no experiences I can compare with what I believed was shifting. What happened to me felt a little bit like sleep paralysis, except I didn't feel like I had been sleeping when I stopped. Also, each time I've had sleep paralysis has been very similar with one another, and these shifting attempts didn't fit the pattern. Finally, all the information I got about shifting was through RU-vid. Many of the sources I pulled from criticized "ShiftTok," so I've never looked at any tiktoks about shifting. I felt kind of embarrassed that people who didn't believe in it always referenced Tiktok as if it were the main forum for the community.

“hasn’t jk rowling done enough damage” is the best quote of the video

"I got my Hogwarts letter yesterday" says the adult millennial woman, holding a letter sent to fictional eleven year olds

9:23 wait you aren't a cool flying drone yet?

11:56 I don’t think Kurtis realizes the amount of nostalgia he probably just brought us right now.

You can literally buy personalised hogwarts acceptance letters. So yeah, she might not have printed it out, but she spent money on that lie. Embarrassing.

Funniest HP shifting story is that person who shifted to Hogwarts and killed Draco Malfoy, and everyone in the comments was calling them a murder. I think about it all the time and cry laugh.

i remember being THAT level of obsessed with harry potter to the point where i thought i almost shifted and was like way too into all those povs💀 then i realized “hey, the amount of sexualization of these movies is kinda wack” and made the change for the better🙏🙏

"A group of liberal atheists mocked him chanting 'prove your god is real" as a leftist and an atheist I assure you that every weekend I get together with all my fellow atheist liberals and tell religious people to prove a god that I don't even believe in exists

I wanna shift into a reality where Kurtis still does the Extra Greetings

Kurtis has the most Toronto moustache I’ve ever seen, represent my brother

Would also like to say that when I was into "shifting" I was a impressionable and suacydal teen, it is QUITE LITERALLY ESCAPISM AND DISSOCIATION 😭

This video was made as an excuse for kurtis to flex his egg making abilities

people talking about shifting as if it’s not just dreaming… the “scripting” they do beforehand is basically the method my therapist taught me to rescript my PTSD nightmares into more pleasant dreams with practice, meditation, and repetition before going to bed every night. so, yeah. shifting isn’t real, but dream scripting is.

“what up pranksters, today we’re gonna gentrify a neighborhood… as a goof!” made me laugh so hard that some of the egg i was eating fell out of my mouth and typed out this comment. 😳

Shifting is just maldaptive daydreaming and you can't convince me otherwise. I maldaptive daydream quite a lot during certain periods as a form of escapism and to process my emotions, but I'm very well aware of what's real and what isn't. (I've also discussed this with my psychiatrist and how it may help me as long as the lines aren't blurred. I'm also never "myself" but rather like the director playing out a movie with other characters from a 3rd person view. It helps keeping the distance very obvious). People calling this some cute little thing instead of what it is is very harmful. Even if maldaptive daydreaming can be a great tool, the lines between reality and dream needs to be very clear. If not, it's very dangerous. The brain is very sensitive after all.

I absolutely hollered at the part of this video where kurtis was doing his egg experiment and became aware of what he was doing in the middle of it

i am typing this with an uncooked egg yoke and this is true so beat that

He had the chance to say “Hot boy summer? No, BOT boy summer”

Let me tell you, I was hardcore into shifting my freshman year of high school. It never worked but I was doing the whole shbang. I was scripting, drinking “moon water”, dream journaling, meditating. My ass was convinced

i guess my brain is bigger than most. I knew there was never a green screen. It was a blue screen all along

The fact that the shifting is mostly centered around Hogwarts leads me to believe that it’s just super Harry Potter fans dreaming about fan fiction.

i find it hilarious that the girl who claimed to get her Hogwarts acceptance letter didn't realize that you're supposed to get it when you're 11, according to the HP lore

about shifting, its not like real its just training ur brain to lucid dream with meditation but some people r so weird about it

Dear God, I'm actually crying @ the squishy egg noises whyyyyy God whyyy is this so funny? I cannot breathe.

Does the girl who got her Hogwarts letter not realize that’s supposed to happen when you’re 11? If your so obsessed with the series to the point you’ve convinced yourself it’s real, you’d think you’d remember such a prominent point.

the obsession with shifting is so interesting because it literally encourages dissociation/the idea that your current reality isn't good enough for you to live in

1:23 my mental health was so bad when i first watched this video that this part of the video sent me into derealization. im happy to say ive grown now

The whole shifting thing… it’s just playing pretend in ur head… I used to do that shit at a 5 yr old lol

I can't believe that I finally managed to shift into a reality where Kurtis Conner is real. Please I'm sobbing, I can't go back to my normal reality.

“Alex you got me fucked up” is one of the funniest sentences known to man

I had a friend who was rlly into shifting once when I was a kid and when I told her I still played make-believe (I was like 8) she made fun of me bc “that’s weird and not real” and shifting is not weird and apparently very real 💀

I think when people say they shifted they were actually just having a dream about being somewhere. Because I have had dreams that feel like months and months but then I wake up again and I realize I was just asleep.

Anyone else excited for the drone transformations to begin? I hope I have good battery life