THE NARCISSIST'S BIGGEST LIE 

The hardest part to accept / get over is that the person you fell in love with doesn't even exist. You fell in love with a mask that slipped and then sank into a murky quagmire!

Future faking was the biggest lie.

Lies of omission are incredibly deceptive and manipulative

"They'll correct you about how you feel, or what you remember." I almost screamed after hearing this

Yes. They dont just lie to cover up something they did, they do lie just for the hell of it.

Truth isnt in a narcs vocabulary...even when they have no need to lie its so ingrained in them to lie, they will lie anyway...

I once was sleeping with a narc woman who had a tattoo that said “everyone has a purpose”. By that, she meant, every person in her life can be exploited in some way.

Currently divorcing a narcissist. Ironically my daughter and myself have been in therapy the better part of two years. Oddly enough the ex wife narcissist that had an affair and discarded us is not in therapy and believes she is living a great new fantasy. We are the wake of damage while she plows through the water like narcisstic arc.

Wowwwwww. After 40 years married to a covert narc, ive heard his incessant nostalgic stories of stuff he did with his pals a million times. Not ONCE have i ever heard him share a story of something we experienced together. Its like my part in his life never existed.

If they only knew that lying about things makes them look smaller, not bigger. They just shrink into nothing.

My husband cannot have ordinary basic conversations, ordinary day to day stuff. He can find fault, complain, talk down,scream, lie. And cannot answer a single question

TOPIC SUGGESTION- Was it me or did anyone else notice that the narcissist uses words / themes throughout the relationship that you’ve actually never heard in any other relationship with another adult? Blame - it’s talked about non stop Punishment - you’re constantly accused of punishing them Respect - you’re constantly being told how you disrespect them or this person or that person disrespected them. It’s a non stop theme. Of course they command absolutely no respect but demand it. “You should be ashamed of yourself”. Who says that to another adult or even a child for that matter. Those are just a few. I got so sick of the word blame. It came up in every single conversation

It took me a long time to realize that 100% of the narcs stories were all from the past and that her behavior never seemed to reflect any of those stories...

Inner Light doesn't need the spotlight ... Infinite freedom.

Actually realizing that it was ALL a lie helped me move on and go no contact without looking back... Great video 👍👏✨

I’ve got my ex Narc in so many lies and he would still claim he never lies, it’s comical like he has no long term memory . He will pretend he didn’t lie when I caught him lying 24 hours earlier.

It is really sad when you come to the truth you were raised in a narc family and you were never loved. I was the empath scapegoat. I knew they didn't care about me. But to know I was never loved was crushing. Even more so to discover they were incapable of loving. But all the actions made perfect sense to me coming upon this knowledge. No contact is a beautiful thing. Heal and live in peace and reality.

This is why narcissists hide in their homes. Extended family, work, and "friends" don't support their fantasy, so they stay home--work from home even--where they, their partners and/or children believe the fantasy. Because they know that the moment they step out of their house, they are not who they claim to be.... I personally know narcissists who make excuses to not get together because of this. And I love it! Because I don't have to see them nor listen to more of their "great" tales or victim stories.

Yes the narcissists that have been in my life, never had anything of substance to say, it was all just banter or sports talk, or talk about their own perceived achievements of the week, nothing deep or meaningful, just garbage really. Just years of useless meaningless banter that meant nothing, or gossip, they love gossip.

It is really confusing when you think about the fact that narcissists have to have as much control as they possibly can externally, but then they act like they have no control over their own self internally. Like wtf. You know what I actually think it is? They don’t actually feel like someone. They are compensating for the fact that there is no one really inside them, and so if there is no one really inside them, how *could* they possibly control that nothingness? It’s like, when you look at them to take responsibility, they are like, oh, wait, you think I *am* someone? There’s no one really here. That is what all their abusive garbage is trying to hide

Devalue came when we had kids

You have a genuine way of explaining NPD. Specially the "why" they do this crap and lead destructive lives. Thank you.

You hit the nail on the head with "How it makes them feel about themselves".

You have revealed the simple truth. Their tangled web totally destroyed my family, with everyone in counseling and addictions and confusion, while the originator Queen Narc, sits fat and happy, after feathering her own nest, with no guilt or remorse or even blinking an eye or skipping a beat. She had children not for the development of her children, but as slaves to her, possessions. Not disciplining her children because it might make them mad and leave. Enablers supreme to get their way. THEY ALWAYS GET THEIR WAY REGARDLESS OF WHAT IT DOES TO OTHERS.

Wow, you're good, this was my relationship for 13 years, I broke up with him last month. Took me a long time to realize this, but I'm free now, starting to heal myself. Starting to feel relieved.. losing me is his karma, God's has something better for me in the future. Thanks

I've watched many similar channels about this topic and nobody explains things as clearly as you do. You have such a good way of putting it into words. I just wish it was possible to get them to listen to this with an open, introspective view.

What you said about the narcissist 'wanting' to believe their lies about you hit a chord. It does make them look better, by comparison.

You are clearly very perceptive. I shudder to think what you may have lived through to be able to know so much about it.

My narc ex gf said honesty and communication are the most important things. She couldn’t stand liars. Also, cheating is the number one thing she’s against in life. Yet the only thing I can’t prove that she did was cheat.

When my dog died 🐕, my older sister and narcissistic husband at the time went with me to the vet, basically to euthanize her. I cried so deeply bcuz she was a part of me for over 15 years...my ex-husband was MAKING JOKES and smiling throughout the whole experience. When I got home, I told him, "You really have a problem with emotions. You have no emotional connection or emotional sympathy."

I'm back, totally agree, 😂thats why i can't bear being around them, they are a walking lie and then they demean you, to make themselves feel better, they are bent on making you the lowest of the low, you don't treat your loved ones like that, its madness!

The reason they lie about themselves, and others, is due to their own self-perceived inferiority, the desire to overcome truths that keep slapping them in the face. Our mother was easily the most difficult person I've ever known: she spent her life comparing herself to and envying others, gaslighting and lying about her own children. Every attempt to face her with the facts was met with her rage, every compliment made to others in her presence met with her denial and/or projection. After 46 years of her abuse, I finally walked away, because it was clear she could not change, she could not relent. A close second to mother was our middle brother. He was subjected to our mother's abuses and observed her gaslighting and envy of others, as if taking lessons. He lived in the academic and athletic shadows of his older and younger brothers, and he lied to his kids by tearing us siblings down while simultaneously building himself up. He never participated in anything to have a have a good time: he was there to claim dominance even in the face of obvious contradictions. One day, he literally walked up to me, out of nowhere, and said, "My penis is bigger than yours". It gets even weirder and more ridiculous, to the point that I've asked my wife and kids if I've been lying to myself or hallucinating. I need to write a screenplay about these freaks.

They lie and justify the lie , like a good religious person

I told him all the time, "I don't Believe you". Haha, really shook him

Rarely do I comment on videos although what you have covered here is so spot on and well put. Done in a refreshing and positive way with healthy expectations and respect for yourself and others. I know how hard it can be to recover from the shocking realization that you lived a complete lie. Thank you so much for this!

If they open their mouths expect a lie😅

Your videos are very good. My husband is a bottomless pit of attention seeking. He needs constant validation and gets hurt when he doesn’t get it. It’s so exhausting

Facts! Evil wicked demons!

Very well articulated. You have a good grasp on the subject. Narcissism is quite illogical and insane. If the person in your presence makes you feel weird, like, you can feel their bad vibes, trust your intuition and be careful.

That’s why when you meet people. You have to do more listening than talking. Because a narcissist will want you too do a lot of talking, so they can arm themselves with arsenal.

So pretty much the story they tell about everything leading up to this point in time..

Oh wow, my feed is flooded with everyone except you for several months now! Glad I was able to catch your upload always so informative.

He lied about everything but some of his lies were really psychotic such as that he has cancer ( he hasn't ) and that he'll make last dinner for friends in the mountains. How sick!

Very POWERFUL! I was the one after 22 years of all the abuse I just didn't see it blind.. and didn't understand just like you said why you do this and yeah I was angry but I end up going back with him after 22 years to him 23 years for him to do exactly what he did back then every single thing that you just that is him horrible and then I'm definitely going to write a book about this the whole 3 years that he was here he was manipulating a disabled girl right underneath me literally in my building same apartment and everything.. what pisses me off what really upsets me is that they go to go to hurt someone and they keep getting away I have to go to all the way to the they have to be stopped they should get arrested when a woman kills himself hurts himself they have to be stopped they should get arrested when a woman kills himself hurts himself they should not be able to hurt everybody yeah you go no contact but they're doing it to someone else and the cycle liver enzymes and they keep on and make it away with it has to end I used to feel sorry for him he knows what he's doing he's worse than a bottle feeding magnet one thing he did for meI'll never ever want to see his face again and I actually don't even care what the next person all the next person because he's going to end up alone very lonely sad.. so I don't feel sorry for them anymore I did but they know what they're doing and now he has no supply off to the race to continue to do it to her now.. but just a feeling of him downstairs I don't care as long as he leaves me alone.. because I will post his picture all over the place letting everyone know when he did and I am going to tell my neighbors they all of them as he was the greatest oh my god he's so apathetic .. but he hacked my computer is destroyed my laptops.. he was so jealous of my business he's a failure I have always be.. but now I can move on and be so happy take my advice they're not worth nothing.. sad pathetic disgusting.. Amen😊❤ very powerful thank you very much 🙏

Everything w a narc comes and goes w the wind, perfectly said 👌🏻💯

I have an "older" sister who told me the biggest whopping lie about our childhood!. She seems to forget that I was alive then too!

Can I just say how infuriating it is when a narcissist tries to tell you how you're feeling, thinking and have remembered things?! Can I get an AMEN if you agree?

This is the most accurate description of these people Ive heard in 60 years. It is what it is and it ain't no more. Their ability to go through life unnoticed is amazing. I had an adopted mother like this and i can honestly say you have to fight yourself to never have pity for anything they ever said to you about anything. Or anyone else from here on out. Its a habit they created in you to always feel "less than" and to never have a say or a voice. Its a horrible childhood being the child of one of these (nonpresent) robot like humans. Not only do they not have the ability to care about your emotional needs, they disconnect you from other people intentionally with their slanderous hateful opinions which they do to intentionally prop themselves up to the whole world at your expense. Theyll even slander their grandchildren behind your back to their family of origin. Mine tried to destroy me and i finally figured thus out 6-8 years after she passed. Relief is all i feel now. Thank God it's finally over. But my character assination will live on forever with her Family of origin. Its always a losing battle with these damaged children. .

He tried to tell me that we “bought your parents a house!” (we didn’t- in fact my parents paid for half of our sons’ tuition, which he also denied). He told me that I never finish anything I start, while unable to provide an example. During one of his craziest rants he told me that I had hit him at some point in the past. He told me that straight to my face. I addressed it during marriage counseling and he said “Well she was standing near me and it felt like it could have been aggressive”. Even after that, he didn’t want to admit that there was a difference between someone hitting a person and just standing near them. I wonder how many people he told his alternate version of reality to, since he so easily told it to me. The one person who knew he was lying.

This Video absolutely details the “Root” of the problem of Narcissism…!!!

Or ‘family is the most important thing to me’….then when you need them….

Mommy Dearest and then Highjackled

I feel guilty when I know they were lying, better I had not get it:) Thank You!!:))!!

No I have just begun to give them boundaries

Watching it the second time . They try to correct your perception of something that they have no direct experience with , your v-logs make me understand things that happened to me , better

Such depth of understanding!

Whenever I start thinking that maybe I’ve misinterpreted the situation I went through, I watch your videos and it helps frame the reality, and thus helps me heal tremendously. I can’t thank you enough.

The last time he tried love bombing I cringed so hard. I can’t stand him anymore

Can you make a video on when a narcissist does something for you ? I experienced a very difficult time yesterday where my narcissistic husband decided to do laundry while stonewalling me after being verbally abusive the night prior. I felt as though him doing this for me was a way of him saying he was sorry for calling me an idiot, retard, crazy, etc. I decided to go out to dinner with him. He got angry because I waved at a waiter and was demanding an explanation. Immediately when he had the chance he used the fact that he did my laundry against me and it was ridiculous. I felt like it was too good to be true and that is why I had thanked him SEVERAL times as he gave me pitiful looks rather than taking accountability for hurting my feelings and calling me names. I would like to really see a video from you on this topic !! It’s confusing and I’m not sure if I’m truly crazy at this point for not wanting to accept nice gestures or gifts because they constantly get thrown in my face when I “fuck up”. If anyone else has experienced anything similar please comment below as well or if you have any advice 😅

Your explanations so validating and clear! Thank you!

This totally explains why my husband was stalking his boss and totally obsessed with catching him with the cashier from work.. His married boss was boinking the cashier.. I was like why do u care so much.. Because proving it and catching him would elevate my husband's guilt or making him feel superior morally because he did that to me 25 years ago..

That’s right constantly lying for no reason! Great vid

They’re like a carnival worker moving from carnival to carnival-smiling, putting on a show, turning a few cartwheels, swallowing fire. It’s laughable really. A way of life. Until that final curtain drops.

One thing for sure ..your details are on par...

Lies of omission

Thank you. You are doing great work. Too bad we’re not all here for some other reason. What a bummer to waste your whole damn life with somebody who is just absolutely a big fat zero. It’s hard to wrap your mind around what these demons are capable of, because when you’re not a sociopath yourself, you give people the benefit of the doubt. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust anyone ever again. I would’ve never thought he was capable of the things he was doing. It’s mind-boggling.

I watch her videos, we must dated the same person. You are better then a doctor!

Biggest liar.

Most of, if not all that you talk about, I've encountered several times ! After each break up spending time, and, enjoying my relationship free experiences l always had a feeling that it would be nice to share with a woman who would appreciate the feeling of freedom l have and joining me in my lifestyle. This has happened several times in the past, meeting women who have love bombed me. The first three to six months are fantastic but sadly change especially when their mask sleeps. Normally I would fall in love after about three months only to find out that it was all a lie on their behalf ! A feeling of losing my identity shocks me back into my reality, which gives me the strength to end such relationships. Once again at 63 I'm now enjoying my freedom again ! Great information, thanks sharing your view points on this ambiguous and sad truth about insecure and hurting souls that can destabilise the strongest of authentique souls 🙏 love to all, and all to love 🙌💛🙌

Yes I'm never in the story .

Thanks for helping us to “Make sense out of NONSENSE.” Wow. This content is _really_ helpful. 👍 SO crazy how this one narcissist targeted me, an attractive female doctor, married mother of four (at the time, now five), a full medical practice. After all THAT, she still had enough appetite to devour me too? HOLY COW.

So many things on point, my ex narc always said I know what you said but you really meant something else LoL, it used to drive me crazy. I would have to choose my words very carefully then explain them forward, backwards, and sideways and hope she didn't want pick a fight that day.

I met the narc at the end of august in a kind of working group, inmediately felt something wierd about her. Had a good time at the group, was very productive and was rather popular. And at the end of October,, it just happened and we started a 'ship' together. Much of bedtime. Already after 4 days, I heard her saying at her outdoor place, out of nothing, I was a loser..

My ex narc LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING...But would say he was being so honest about everything....he said i was the liar but could never tell me what I lied about....he would always come out of the blue with things I was doing and would get pissed when i would say......"soooo thats what youre actually doing"....he saw me as the worst person when i would call him out....as i did most of the time until i started to realize it was no point....

It's so crazy, he lies about things he doesn't even have to.

As i am listening to the video and going into flashback to the things i have gone through

Omg your video was the best!!! Please keep making videos. I had to go for eval and they asked my that if the person I was with continued to contemplate suicide over the course of 10 years marriage how can I keep my International job that required me to travel several times a year. That's a really good question. This video helped explain to me why I continue to stay in this relationship in spite of all the abuse. If a person's never been an abusive relationship I don't know if they could fully understand. Why didn't have the luxury to stay home because I had to provide for my children. Also there is no instant cure for bad relationship and it takes time which I gave her. And then I believed the lies there's no perfect relationship everybody has issues you're a man you need to take it and you have to deal with it and man up.

"It's like they are living in the past". This is my experience living with and being married to an ex-wife I believe suffered from a cluster B disorder. She was quietly, but absolutely, consumed by the negative aspects of "what had happened to her", or "who had done to her". All of it was completely unprovable, but IMO was an effective strategy to paint herself as the perpetual victim, drawing people in for attention and to provoke their "knight in shining armour" sensibilities

Yes, good hypothesy, you might be right young lady 😉,

The narcissist wants a servant robot with their mouth, taped shut ….that just nods yes to everything waits on them hand and foot, dishes ,cooking ,pays the bills , cleans up after them …that’s all they want. They don’t want a real relationship. They’re sick! run fast!!!!

You are great. I listen to your words a lot very truth stuff

Great insight!!! So true ❤

This is 100% TRUE. my husband and his family. Lie about things when it's not even necessary.. Lie just to lie.. Oh my gosh.. Yes. He will say "that's not you talking. You sound like your dad or a family member.." I'll say that's weird because my dad doesn't believe what I'm trying to say, he thinks it's a conspiracy also.. My thoughts aren't mine according to him..

Liar is their native language...I choose not to learn it. For fear of you reap what you sow.

As always very informative and insightful 😊. Thank you 🙏🏻 😊

I believe myself to be a person with a lot of integrity now, anyway I wonder why i have been thrown into a family of such outrageous lack of integrity, although there are things they wouldn not do, their very life is a lie! There must be a lesson I need to LEARN, I am very shy with people and keep to myself now!

Thank you for your videos. Much appreciated. You are so correct in your observations.

Most professionals have no clue what it is like to be with a narcissist

Well said. Right on point. 3 thumbs up

Lie under testimony on stand

Thank You!

Oh they very much know what they’re doing. Or at least the Machiavellian or malignant ones do. His behavior was about control and specific to the individual. I chose to go to the mental hospital 3 x , which was his goal. It was like a vacation. That’s when I knew I had to go no contact.

Its very scary to see this play out in real time. I remember I caused a narc injury to my ex and told her about herself and she reinvented herself afterwards after we broke up. She became a whole new person and created a facade of why we broke up. It all became my fault and I was this horrible person overnight. I got smeared and everything. It scared me because she created an actual character because i exposed the character she was when she was with me. I was very unhappy. I felt like my life became one big lie and as long as I was playing my part pretending to be in a happy family she stayed happy. When I started questioning things and standing up for myself the devalue came. Then the discard after I told her about herself. Instead of her taking responsibility she just wanted to break up our family and create a new persona. It was sad and scary. And what you said at the end is true. It really hurts when you realize that the person you were with wasn’t even real. I fell for hoovers because i was still in love with the fake person that I fell in love with. Its almost like loosing someone to death almost. When you realize that you just have to mourn and accept that your person is gone.

I have had 2 put up with 3 of them, mother, 2 sisters, all lies, but I never grew up with mother or 1 sister, thank God, so many lies and I am always telling the truth, they all hate me, mother dead but they hate everyone, I just got to know my youngest sister more recently, I be Believed her when she told me she had all these friends but I know it's not possible now because they can't have friends because they can't get close to anyone, well I am the one who is alone whilst they have partners and children, but I heard their kids hate them, they are horrible people to be around for any length of time! I'd rather be alone w/ my beautiful ragdoll cat!

They😂 wanr to destroy your spirit, they are vampires, they seek to destroy you so you never grow ro your potential, they want u to be a being of the night!

This was awesome! I love your content. Keep it coming! ❤

Wow ive met 2 narcissists so far in this life.

Often the real person is a lot more appealing than the false persona they are trying to convince everyone of. I had to let go of 2 "friends" because of their abusive, toxic, parasitic egos. We had lots of fun for many years, but they became so abusive that I was miserable around them. They seemed to attack me the worst when I was going through the WORST time of my life. Does anyone know why some people become ok with themselves problems and all and some people can't and never will?

Yep this is my boss.

You make it sound like they choose to be like this. This is wrong. Their actions are the result of intense childhood trauma. They want the applause but don't believe it's true because they don't have a self. They are overwhelmed by negative interjects because of their trauma.