The People You're Paying to Be in Shorts | Dorktown 

The Bobcat Emergency

The fact that I can experience this for free on demand is incredible.

I love how each narrator had a unique role: Alex spends his time talking focusing on the numbers (like a normal dorktown episode) Seth focused more on narratives and personalities (like a beef hisotry or rewinder) Kofie talked about the impact of the team as a North Carolinian And Jon basically spent most of his voice lines on MJ. At points he sounded like he was having a weird conversation with Jordan, as if he was a disembodied voice in Mike's head.

Jon Bois is the Michael Jordan of talking about Michael Jordan.

"Gerald Henderson is hurt and Corey Maggette is hurt and Boris Diaw is French" 😂😂😂

Never forget they're called the Bobcats because the team owner was named Bob.

I was a ranked top 15 player in NBA 2k5 back in the day and there was a guy that was ranked high as well that only played with the Bobcats. He was under 500 and ranked very high still because well,he only played with the Bobcats lol. He told me that he was from that area and that will be the team he rides with. I hope he gets a chance to watch this all these years later.

Jon’s commitment to calling MJ “Mike” and the way he treated him calling him Michael Jordan as a huge reveal is incredible. ESPECIALLY since every other narrator has already called him Michael Jordan so many times

i hope this particular group of people never stops doing this. i want to be watching a two and a half hour documentary on the 2052 Buffalo Sabres when i'm 80 years old.

I really loved the way that Jon conversationally chatting with Michael "Mike" Jordan was the emotional through-line of this entire documentary. Just felt right.

I can’t wait for “The People You’re Paying To Be In Shorts: Part II” featuring both the ‘24 Pistons and Wizards

RIP Paul Silas. This season is not all you are remembered for, but you were a champ for not quitting on this team. Thanks for everything. - Hornets/Bobcats fan

"He loses for a living, and he cannot be defeated." Would be an all-time quote for most other people. For Jon, it's just one of three dozen telephone poles that go whizzing by on a casual Sunday drive.

the Diop free throw segment had me in tears 💀

the delivery on "Corey Maggette is hurt, and Gerald Henderson is hurt, and Boris Diaw is French" had me absolutely CACKLING

"He loses for a living and he cannot be defeated." That's a raw line.

"There's nowhere he'd rather be", for all the goofs, dumb stats, and silly storylines, what I appreciate most about Secret Base is the times they give some attention and love to the people behind them. Stephen just wanted to coach with his dad, win or lose. That's wonderful.

Gotta love that this video premiered during a Charlotte Hornets loss

I love how Kofie, Seth, and Alex are all approaching this with the gravitas that a SB production commands, while Jon Bois, a master of making something as minor as an internet fight about days of the week sound like a clash of titans to decide the fate of the universe, is coming at it with the same energy as a particularly needy 9 year old trying to get his mom to look at his macaroni art, if his mother was also the MJ of a decade past.

We legit all just watched a 2 1/2 hour slideshow presentation on a historically bad team no one remembers. Please make more

Knowing they wouldn’t get the AD pick the whole time was sheer agony. Well done as always, guys

Kofie says "Charlotte bobcats" like it's a slur

Boris Diaw is now sailing the ocean on a boat. Dudes a ducking legend.

He had a lot to teach about the craft of writing. Such brevity. I learned nothing. - Jon Bois

“Corry Maggette is hurt, and Gerald Henderson is hurt, and Boris Diow is French” I’m wheezing

'If this ended today, it would 100 percent be worth it' - Stephen Silas. Never pass up an opportunity to do work worth doing with the people you love. RIP, Paul.

And today Stephen Silas is the assistant coach of the 2023-'24 Detroit Pistons. who at the time of this comment are on a record setting 27 game losing streak.

“And Boris Diaw is French” caught me way off guard 😂

I love forming a meaningful connection with a team I literally could not care less about.

whoever edited that 2012 draft lottery segment deserves the editing mvp award

I think we need another one of these but for the 23-24 Detroit Pistons

A feature-length documentary about a single season of one team's basketball trials and tribulations. What a time to be alive.

I coached a kids team in Austria during that time, and one day a girl came in with a bobcats jersey. Turns out her parents got it for her cause her name was Charlotte. To this day its the only one i ever saw

It's weird to see Mike is associated with the 72-10 Bulls and the 7-59 Bobcats at the same time

Rest in Peace Paul Silas. You gave it what you hd left in the tank, and coached up your son at the same time

Simply poetic that the Bobcats' final losing streak ended was 23. MJ's number. When you all changed the number from orange to red, I died in laughter.

“The streak hits 15, but help is on the way. The kind of help a fork provides to someone eating soup: Jamario Moon” I lost it

"a two hour movie about running a team who doesn't have any money... sounds like a blast" - meta Jon Bois

Great documentary. As a Charlotte native since the Hornets inception: a key detail was missed to explain why the city didn’t embrace the Bobcats. In June 2001 the city voted down a proposal to build the Hornets an arena in the Uptown district. In 2002 the Hornets left for NO. When Charlotte was awarded the expansion team that became the Bobcats, the city simply raised taxes and allocated funds to build the uptown arena that the community had voted against just a few months earlier. The Bobcats were never going to win the city over without being exciting. They never have been. Politics

Legend has it mike watched this video and took it personal, so he did sell the team

That cut to the final image after “did you really think we’d forget” made me cry, I’ll admit it.

“You have 7 wins. This is everybody’s house.” 😭😭😭

I became an NBA fan right before the start of the 2013-14 season, the only year where both the Charlotte Bobcats and the New Orleans Pelicans were active NBA franchises. I found out, shortly thereafter, that the New Orleans Pelicans were formerly the New Orleans Hornets, which had moved from Charlotte. When the next season began with the Charlotte Hornets replacing the Charlotte Bobcats, the league announced that the old Hornets' history, records, etc., would be inherited by the team born as the Bobcats who now bore the Hornets' name. Even at the age of 11, I thought this made no sense. "This is absurd. History is a collection of objective facts, not a chain of grocery stores - it can't simply be acquired and rebranded. This act of retconning is completely illegitimate." -Jon Bois, 2017, on the Cleveland Browns. The truth is, in 2004, the Charlotte Bobcats were born as ghosts. I reconciled this in my own mind at the time, even if it made no difference to the league or anyone else. In my mind, there were two franchises. The old Hornets, who moved to New Orleans in 2002, had a brief stint in Oklahoma City, returned, and then changed their name to the Pelicans, and the new Hornets, born in 2004 as the Bobcats. So when Chris Paul retires and gets his original jersey retired, it SHOULD be done by the Pelicans. When I started watching this video, I knew instantly who The Unicorn was. Maybe it was the dissonance between my own logic and that of the league, or becoming a basketball fan in the intermission of this awkward two-year retrieval of the name, the repeated references to the draft lottery as their silver lining, or something else, but I subconsciously resolved that the Bobcats ended their season by drafting Anthony Davis, and then didn't question it for 1 hour, 34 minutes and 26 seconds, from 27:49 to 2:12:15. It was then when an image came to mind. A hazy image of an otherwise inconspicuous player shooting a basketball in a white striped jersey, with both elbows jutting out to his left. It had probably been five or six years since I'd last thought of Michael Kidd-Gilchrist, but when I did, my jaw dropped and stayed open for probably a full minute, and it felt like three. This documentary took on a completely new tone after that point, summarized perfectly at 2:15:14. Every hardship detailed in the length of this doc - every win, every kinda-close game, everyone who, without evaluating through the staunch lens of a longtime NBA fan, boasted remarkably impressive careers in the sport - amounted to absolutely nothing. It wasn't just that they'd lost out on The Unicorn. They passed on Damian Lillard, Bradley Beal, Andre Drummond, and others. They continued to flounder in mediocrity, and then faded into obscurity. That realization - that the Bobcats weren't getting the first pick, that the journey the Bobcats players took, kicking and screaming, to unprecedented levels of sucking, one I had known about for years but now felt like I had experienced personally, had NO silver lining - is the type of realization that makes someone type out this long of a comment. The dramatic irony of The Unicorn being lost on me resulted in one of the coolest accidental rug-pulls I'd ever experienced. I've been watching SB since I was 14. I've seen every Chart Party and Pretty Good, and (basically) every Rewinder and Beef History related to basketball. I've only ever seen four Dorktowns, and this was one of them. I turn 20 this month. Thanks, guys.

I hope Michael Jordan watched this from a $100,000 couch in front of a $200,000 TV and then went and played a round of golf.

As someone with only fleeting memories of this team, the moment I saw when the Bobcats won their 7th game to go to 7-36 I was like “Wait a second, didn’t that team only win… oh… oh nooooo” Having 23 chances to win 1 game and not be the worst team ever and failing to do so, that’s a classic bruh moment.

Watching them drag the Anthony Davis thing knowing how it ends was equal parts painful and hilarious, I love it

just heard our guy Mike is selling the Hornets had to come back to this gem

You guys should do a fumble dimension of this game to see if only Boris Diaw shooting (and no one else on the team) could get this team to that 8th win

I knew MJ wasn't going to suit up but during that seemingly never ending plea from Jon, I really wanted him to.

As a Hornets fan growing up in Charlotte, this is the most depressing dorktown I've watched 😭

THE PISTONS DID IT! 27 IN A ROW! Now for the big record.

MJ's disappointed face in that picture of all the Bobcats stars is iconic

Jon, Kofie, Seth and Alex all in the same Dorktown? This is a Secret Base superteam

God dammit first the mariners then the falcons. Now the bobcats!?! I can't be forced to keep liking bad teams because of how lovable they are jon.

6:03 Jon’s delivery of “Oh no!” made me laugh almost as much as the line that immediately follows it. “Very unfortunate.”

The music between 58:30 to 1:03:05 went from a nice playful musak, to silent, to discordant chaos. Little touches like that during the video make it memorable.

In a world of short attention spans, you guys make a 2 1/2 hour video and I love it. Keep doing your thing guys

As soon as I realized that this was gonna be about the 2011-12 Bobcats, my body immediately braced itself because this was gonna be a ROUGH ride.

If Victor Wembanyama becomes the monster he’s billed to be, the fact that Charlotte finished 2nd in that lottery will be just as painful.

Wasn’t expecting Boris Diaw to be the most interesting person in this documentary lol

Dang, this team got a jon bois special on them! Can’t wait to learn how they beat the odds and won it all!

Okay I just wanna know who at TNT thought giving a 7-58 team a National TV game was a good idea? 😂

“…and boris diaw is french.” - Jon Bois 2023

The reverence shown for the Charlotte media is very touching, media like that is often thankless and expected. RIP Rick Bonnell

I did not expect a Dorktown about the 2011-2012 Bobcats that is longer than a Marvel movie, but here we are. God I love this channel

I felt this was a nice change of pace for the Dorktown format. Don't get me wrong, all your programs are great, but I preferred the more low-stakes and humorous approach taken with this one. Featuring Seth on any basketball topic is also a must imo, his basketball videos are partially responsible for the channel's rise and its clear to see his passion and talent for talking about the sport.

This is the kind of content ESPN wishes they'd made. Amazing. Beautiful.

paul silas passed away today at 79 years old. rest in peace 🙏

As someone who has 0 affiliation with the Bobcats/Hornets I felt legitimate pain when that card showed Bobcats. Well done fellas

Can this still be called Dorktown? It's the DCU at this point.

You did it, guys! He’s selling the team!

On rewatch, this has to be one of the best things this crew ever made.

UNOFFICIAL CHAPTERS INTRO) 00:00 A Ban on Shorts 1) 03:32 A Team Named Robert 2) 13:05 A Player Turned Owner 3) 29:08 A Promising Opening 4) 39:21 A Brutal Stretch 5) 50:15 A Basketball Snob 6) 56:01 A Free Throw Attempt 7) 1:03:36 A Bunch of Blowouts 8) 1:12:21 A Unicorn Revealed 9) 1:20:30 A Break Above The Clouds 10) 1:30:43 A Forecast In Canada 11) 1:34:45 A Dented Skull 12) 1:41:08 A House For Everybody 13) 1:49:13 A Hard-Fought Finish 14) 2:00:08 A Referendum on Intention 15) 2:06:36 A Literal Carnival Game 16) 2:13:45 A Lack of Legacy 17) 2:18:43 A Team Dispersed OUTRO) 2:23:44 A Break From Shorts

“Bc no one wants to walk around looking like a Sim” is wild 😂😂😂😂😂

This is honestly incredible. I’ve watched this twice and I’m blown away at how much you’ve made me care about this ridiculous team

Watching this after he sold the team is so fantastic

oh boy, I can’t wait to hear all about the Charlotte Bobcats!

The part about Jordan betting someone in the crowd in a golf tournament is the most real thing in here. One of my friends works for the Hornets and Panthers and got to meet him at a party and lost $200 because Mike decided to be a pool shark at his own party

Excited for the 2 hour video about this years pistons 10 years from now

As a Charlotte fan this hurt a lot. Thank you

When the team name and logo was revealed, it hit me that I had zero memory of the Bobcats... I distinctly remember the Hornets moving to New Orleans, I remember the name change to the Pelicans, and I remember hearing that the basketball team in Charlotte was once again called the Hornets... but thats it. A story about something that started and ended in recent history that was collectively forgotten or just plain uneducated on. I now have been educated. And I have no idea what to do with this knowledge. Great work, y'all.

this is one of Secret Base's most ambitious projects. it's a slow burn. an unheard of story. about almost nothing. and yet... jesus christ i am hanging on for dear life and i love every minute. this is art.

It can not be overstated how incredible the music is throughout this entire audiovisual journey.

IT HAPPENED AGAIN! IT HAPPENED AGAIN! they lost out on the sweepstakes to Victor Wembanyama by one spot, just like Anthony Davis

I like that 50+ people are waiting for this when it won’t air for another 11 days.

Serious talk. I have no one to discuss these Dorktown/Chart Party gems with. This stuff is so good and I enjoy it on makes levels and it just makes me feel good. As a very awkward adult dude it is extremely hard to bring up Jon Bois in pleasant conversation. And when I do people usually have zero frame of reference; except like once in a while people think I’m talking about Jomboy. That’s like whatever and I usually end it there. Anyway. When Jon drops a magnum opus like this, I don’t know how to watch it. Like do I watch it on a tv? Computer? I can’t do it on my phone, right? Also, shouldn’t do audio-only, podcast style on my commute, correct? I just want to do it right. Open to suggestions.

"In the year 2011, the Bobcats had a buzz level closer to the post-Steph Curry Davidson Wildcats." WOW! This is ICEBERG COLD, and more than accurately and acutely true. I am from North Carolina, and I don't think even a stethoscope could have detected a bit of sound at that time. Well said. The overall sarcasm and sincerity in this is simply outstanding.

As a French guy playing Basketball, let me tell you guys that Boris Diaw is really referred here and that his impact on French sports is beyond what people give hime for ! Chillest guy ever. On t'aime babac

Only Jon bois, Kofie Yeboah, Alex Rubenstein, and Seth Rosenthal could make michael Jordan into a tragic figure. Yet another masterpiece from dorktown 👏

The Spurs picked up Boris Diaw from this 2012 Charlotte team who wound up being a huge part of the 2014 Spurs championship. Thank you, Charlotte

This dorktown stands out. I love all of these stories about franchises that by and large are bad and shines a light on them so they aren't forgotten. The only difference is that this team (The Bobcats) is not beloved by their community.

2k14 the rival character got drafted to the bobcats. That was the first time i was even aware they existed.

I have to say something about Jon’s music choice. Whereas a lot of content makers would use vaporwave or modern synthwave to try to achieve an old school vibe, Jon uses music that, while it may or may not be recently composed, captures accurately the feel of a program from early millennial childhood. Sonically, it’s true old-school in HD rather than a vaporwave-y, fever dream take on nostalgia. I don’t know if I’m really making what I’m trying to convey make sense, but Jon’s music choices give me the weird, uncomfortable childhood feelings along with the nostalgia vibes, and I can greatly appreciate that

This is official the best birthday present I could ask for a Jon Bois Documentary. I know nothing about the 2011-2012 Charolette Bobcats, but I don’t care.

This style of video editing has to be some kind of unnamed genre. It feels like a presentation, a documentary, a news broadcast, lecture, a radio broadcast, a 50s movie, music concert... I don't know, but my I feel like every kind of emotion I have are all being activated.

leaving a comment here before the 23-34 Detroit Pistons break the record

I'm not a sports fan. Halfway through, I thought this must be an elaborate hoax, how could I not know that Michael Jordan has an NBA team? How could I have never even heard their name prior to this? The Charlotte Bobcats truly are an unbelievable team in the literal sense; a mirage on the horizon that fades away if examined too closely.

My partner is so confused why I'm watching a sports doc on yt. "Sweetie, it's Jon Bois. I need to watch it because our parasocial relationship laid the groundwork for what you and I have today."

this is the sports version of a pre-apocalypse story, raging against futility and failing and falling to it

"... like shoving the joystick around and mashing the buttons while "INSERT COIN" is flashing on the screen." Beautiful. And no small part of my young life as a kid who usually didn't have any quarters.