The Person That You Knew No Longer Exist 

It's not that they no longer exist, it's really that they never existed.

This sucks & it is extremely painful

I Saw behind the MASK! 2 Years no contact, to anyone suffering, it DOES GET BETTER once you go no contact. ONCE YOU KNOW, YOU GO!

So true 💯 I'm married to one There's nobody there Fake as can be Empty shell.

Holy fuck this is so accurate. "Raging out at you because you took a wrong turn...". Every. Day.

Realizing I never really knew the real person inside, that my ex was in fact a stranger, made it easier to stop caring about them and how they felt and what they were doing as I learned to break that trauma bond thread by thread...one tiny thread remains, and I'm working on it and am happier than I can remember being as I'm focused on me for the first time in my life.

3:30 thats because they are mirroring you thats why you have so much in common at first. You actually fall in love with yourself.

The facts are the facts. Don’t sugarcoat it ! Radical acceptance will save your life and allow you to break free ❤😊

So many flowers when we were dating.... not a single rose after we were married...

They never exixting you fell in love with mask...

Mine discarded me Feb 19, 2023 so almost a year to the day. In my prayer time when I cry out to God, I tell Him I cannot understand why for months he couldn’t let me go and it took one narc injury for him to want me completely out of his sight and he was disgusted by me. That was the most painful thing and I ask God how I’m not supposed to internalize that sudden change of his feelings toward me, his love and then his hate. Like I did something wrong. It is an internal war.

He admitted that he hides himself. That I wouldn't like the real him if I saw him. He was right. 1 year, 9 months free and happy!

This very insight was, what finally saved me from my trauma bond with my narcissistic ex. It is so much easier to release a person with the thought: "you are not the person I thought you are." Or even better "I never loved you anyway". I loved the illusion. Maybe I even get some inspirations from this story - it really touched my soul at least. But to fulfill these desires and hopes or dreams - the narcissist is definitely the wrong person. Looking in the wrong direction. You do not lose anything. You lose sb you never loved anyway, and you can keep the stories and inspirations, your hopes and dreams to yourself. For the next one. Or anything else. The future is yours.

“There’s this *conquering* that had happened”… that right there is one of the most degrading, betraying, dehumanizing feelings in these “relationships” (particularly romantic/sexual context). It’s a feeling of being preyed upon, objectified and used solely for a person’s self-gratification and drive for competition in a setting that was supposedly “love”, “intimacy” or “connection”. It is truly disgusting when you realize a narc can’t see you as a human (or your time/life trajectory as something sacred and of value), or protect you in any way from their predatory, opportunistic mindset…no matter how special or close they pretended their connection with you was. Cut your losses. Don’t allow the stronghold of the Sunken Cost Fallacy deceive you out of seeing this reality.

It hurts so bad. Crying whilst watching this

Not being vindictive, but legally speaking, As narcissistic abuse is massively damaging psychologically, How plausible do you think that the abuser should be punished in the court of law or even registered just like sexual offenders?

I saw the mask, but what disturbed me most was when I realized there is nothing behind it. I finally recognized that his eyes, gorgeous as they may be, are vessels of nothingness. Empty. That makes me sad. I like to think that there was some substance there at one time. I now know what I fell in love with was vapor.

Hurts so bad😢 I still can't quite believe it😢😢😢

I've been down this road & it's so hurtful. I've been single for almost 3 years from that relationship, and the hurt still comes & goes.Going back a 3rd time definitely isn't an option. I would rather hurt here & there being single. Then, I hurt while being in a relationship with him of battling something that ran it course.

My ex was diagnosed with personality disorder. I didn't know what that meant when I was with her, but quite frankly, I didn't care up until the discard. She was beautiful. Displayed incredibly intense love and intimacy with me. When I was discarded a year and a half ago, it was out of left field. I was shocked. Insomnia instantly started that lasted for months, and it felt like my life was going to end. I made many calls to nine eight eight. It was bad. The point is, is yes, once the discard happens, it is true, the person you once knew no longer exists. Take my ex. She had long beautiful curly hair. After our "relationship," she shaved her head bald and started to dress different. Think of Britney Spears with the umbrella. That's exactly how she looks still. In-conclusion, it is utterly traumatic dealing with a person you were with completely transform into someone you no longer know when you knew them for years. Thankfully, I am doing much better then a year and a half ago. I am much stronger as a person and this relationship was a very tough life lesson I learned. Thanks for reading.

I hesitated to watch that video because already the title hurts. And I know all of this you are saying, but in my heart he still has a place and there is a slight % that do wanna believe this guy exist.. How amazing he was. He had this innocence at time, this is what I loved. With my dog, nature, animals, many things.. and yet he had this rage and he could just shoot me with his mouth like it was gun and he did care about my vulnerability, about my struggle or to see me cry because of him... Those 2 person cannot co exist in one person. One has to be false Because if innocence is your value, it is everywhere at all time. It is what and who you are. So it didn't make sense, And even if he made me believe it was my fault when he shifted..I knew very well it wasn't.. Dear you, if you ever read me. I did love you dearly.

I would like to know which mask the narcissist wears on his death bed. Who is he fooling then . Does the narcissist think he can fool his maker ???

Looking back my narcissistic husband’s mask slipped during what would have been our honeymoon phase. I seen and felt the changes had pit in my stomach, but could never make sense of what was happening. Thanks for opening my eyes.

He won't admit he has cheated married 9 years

So many times when I confronted him with the truth and he couldn't lie about it he would reason he didn't want the truth out to destroy his image in someone's eyes. When I said he could just be that person he would agree but never did it. He worked against everything he wanted to be seen as except someone who would buy you things. But fidelity, honesty, reciprocity emotionally? Not really. He was surprised and in disbelief when I said he made me fall in love with him. But he enjoyed the power it conveyed. My friend called it, he would repeat things like he was in awe but those times he was feeling in control of my emotions. He punished me for paying attention to him and noting the consistent inconsistency. Once he knew he went to far finally, he just dropped everything, for me. But he continued the same thing with the newER one.

I saw his mask of him fallen off when he had me on his side. So freaking accurate.

The mask! Finally seeing the mask and that he never really existed is called, RADICAL ACCEPTANCE! It removes all hope of reconciliation. I have reached that point. I can’t unsee it. I finally understand that the person I fell in love with was the mirrored image of me! He’s not a person that can be understood, or explained, or helped. The person that I thought he was, never existed! I’ve wasted 35 years of my life

Wow! This was brutal but it needed to be said! Trying to wrap your head around the fact that the person never existed is mind boggling but something that MUST be accepted in order to move on & heal! Thank you, Ben, for all you do!

Another one to put on repeat.

Thank you so much for all that your doing. I wish you would have been around 3o years ago. You see and understand my life so clearly. It's nice to see from your example there are people who want to change and have loving families. Thank you.

Remember s/he has been pretending since a toddler in order to manipulate mother or other primary caregiver

The Mask .... When I was away for ten days a few years back and returned home early to surprise my beautiful loving wife , the love of my life . I drove back to my condo at 11 pm only to find her sitting in a strange man's car . I parked in disbelief, sat and waited 5 min. for her to exit his vehicle . They both did and walked towards my car both smiling .What I saw in her face was pure evil ,so smug so happy with herself for emotionally destroying me. Zero remorse, zero empathy .She showed me for the first and last time ( the narcissistic smirk ) . I didn't recognize my own wife of 6 years ,it was so strange and disturbing like she morphed into another personality .After much study I realized it was because my wife was unwell and mirroring this stranger she was with by dressing like him (so very disturbing ) to obtain supply . The narcissist is a chameleon , willfully willing to employ whatever mask is expedient to obtain supply . I've learned so much here and other places . I'm not alone . Thank you for your important work Ben .🙏

3 1/2 yrs of being with my Narc. Now he’s with his new supply who lives 2 blocks away from my house. The house we shared together with a blended family. Found out they had been talking for a few months before he discarded me. I could only imagine what he’s told her, all while I thought we were doing great. He parks his car out front daily so I see when I drive past. Gut wrenching and heartbreaking.

I needed this clear reminder of who she actually is. It’s tough to realize that I fell in love with just a mask, and I still kinda miss that illusion. I know I’m much better off without her, but we have 2 kids together.

well, this is one narcissist FOR SURE that I will REMAIN IN CONTACT WITH!!! i don't even care anymore what he says. i like the video before it even starts and partially watch/listen to the end to support his channel, but also to be reminded of...THE GRACE AND MERCY God showed me in snatching me--a hyper-empath--up out of the tightening grip of the dude i was exposed to for about 2 weeks. THANK GOD FOR MY EMPATHY!!!!!! AND THANK GOD for Mr. R-A-W's RAW delivery of that which i needed to hear to push me more and more back to strength!!!!!!! I'M GOOD NOW!!!!!!!! funny, the last thing i said to dude in the last conversation we had about a month ago was "where is the guy whom ..." i met in the beginning. wow!

I had wandered for the longest time. Now I know. Permanent, no contact is the only way. I will never allow such a deceitful human being back into my life. If I'm dumb enough to fall for the hoover, she will do it again. Thanks setting me straight. I needed that.

Masks...completely uninterested by honesty or truth and reaity...and 9years into this ridiculous unreasonable way to live a life I'm still moved to tears when I contemplate accepting that I meant nothing and was never any more 'special' to him than any of the flings he has been carrying along with on the side the whole time...stupid? I know. Pathetic? Trust me, I know. He won't ever love me and never did? OK I know that too. But now I have 3 kids under the age of 4 with this man who is killing me a thousand different ways a thousand times a day. How do I protect my children from the abusive traumatic non-present or unwillingly present parenting style of this man

The Mask I’m so glad to have found your videos. Thank you! I have learned so much. It has taken me since 2019 to heal from the narcissistic trauma I experienced with the man I dated. I ended it after 7 months. I saved myself and walked away. I never looked back. I was shocked when the mask came off. How cruel and indifferent he was towards me. Very different from the beginning when we first met. You are absolutely right! It was a projection. Lesson learned. Thank you for your great content.

The #MASK

Wow! This is bringing some serious inner healing for a lot of people. This is gonna set so many people free from bondage to toxic people, keep up the good work dude 👏🏿

Mask! I am going through this right now. This is so enlightening. Thank you!

It is most gut wrenching mind blowing freakin twilight zone shit someone can go through..I should have went to therapy after my last narc relationship to heal , not only just to heal and grow but prevent my heart dying yet again by getting into another relationship with a narcissist..only this time I just fell even harder and it hurts way worse..people please be safe out there and don't settle for a man/woman that lies to you and treats you like crap!! No one deserves it!!

Life to short to be even playing with this sh!t😩 I know they belong to the devil cus the deception is beyond me and to kno that NUN OF THIS was real minds fucks me I be so blew but I’m learning self compassion and learning to trust my intuition the 1st time around!!!

from my experience, narcissists share two things every single time... they disrespect you and they always are looking for a way to hurt you to make themselves feel better no matter how much love or loyalty you give them. It always ends the same way

Its now some time gone but i still cant believe how a lovely person who said cared for me and was very present suddenly started lashing out and gaslighting me calling me names and criricizing all i said He hurt me so badly and didn

It’s insane to hear you say things WORD FOR WORD of what I’ve been writing down in a journal the last 8 or 9 months or things I’ve been shouting out loud in disbelief to my dog when my husband carries on with his day directly after word games and karate chopping my train of thought, saying I’m Negative and that nothing will get better with my negative attitude… I’ve been married 8 years, we met in an addiction rehab, so I thought many of these things were just the sneaky, selfish addict behavior. I’ve felt defeated from the beginning but there was this WHAT IF that soul mate, best friend, perfect-for-me-dude is still there buried under something. And then 8 or 9 months ago it’s like this evil twin moved in and I didn’t even get to say goodbye to him. That part really hurts - that I didn’t get to say goodbye - to a facade. It’s like meeting someone in your dreams that you must be with but there’s no way because they’re not real. Every day now I’m crying out “THIS IS INSANE” and If it was the him he pretended to be - THAT person would understand that this is insane! The person he presented as would understand how crazy this is. It’s just insane. I need to understand things as much as possible so these videos are really really appreciated. Thank you

Thank you for acknowledging that some narcissists can change :)

True. Right. Correct. 💯

I see the masks! What an aye opening! He said,” the first 6 months, all he’s thinking is to make me fall in love with you.” Yes, it was all a LIE! The truth are, i saw who he really is in our friendship and after married , the truth all coming back to me of who he really is!

Oh soooo sad too ❤

You are sooooo right!!! In the end i didn’t even know who he was

My ex changed after we got married too💔 He has a two-year cycle⚠️

Thankyou for your honesty.

Thank You Ben for keeping it real ❤

I loved the video. Another one I have to watch on repeat.

So I’m curious how this worked for you in repairing your marriage… did you have to like recreate yourself?

God bless

The Mask

Lee Hamock is not different. His body language is VERY telling. Going to therapy once a month ( if he's really going) is not sufficient. Yes, he gives the narcs tricks... but... he is who he is, wich is a master manipulator. You can see his partner is looking fed up as well on his videos. Studies shows there is less than 1% success with therapy and therapy is for life. Gray matter does not grow back you are who you are. It's a fact that narcs believes their lies. It does not mean that your work isn't worthy of appreciation.

I see the mask. It hurts a lot. Like the worst pain I've ever felt.

I thought he loved me. 6 year with the somatic narc. It was hard

Absolutely

Yes, I can see it serious relationship. I have found out the past 6 months that I started looking at in his phone but we've been together for 6 years, he has it Uber time, and by me getting too upset I appled, a knife cause he was trying to care very close out of my house and my stuffand I got caught. I have 2 severteners in a severed nerve, I've considerablies all over me. He dislocated my jaw. He's deviated my September and my nose I had to have surgery. It's a nightmare and it's all emotional games to emotional abuse. I don't know what to do anymore I feel like i'm losing my mind

I zee the mask😊

I seen the mask fall, and the told me pretty much that there not who they say they are, it hurts to love or ever befriend someone like that, sad but true

I appreciate the work you do but I’m confused. If narcissists are unable to change why then should any one of us ever stay with one? Being a self aware narcissist doesn’t mean you’ve changed, suggesting then that your true identity is still self serving. So are you suggesting that now you just simply mask and push down how you really feel or who you really are? I have learned a lot from you, so much so that I’m never giving the narcissist I’m married to anymore chances. All I hear now that he’s “recovering” is how he’s above any consequences for his past, that is sickening. This is especially true if they feel like you’re leaving…their true colors come flying back. I’m genuinely curious if your wife came home tonight and said she’s leaving based on your past, what would you do? To me, that’s the truth and that’s scary. At any point she’d have that right, correct? Perhaps this is me projecting but I’m serious. I want to know what would trigger that narcissistic behavior again because if I have to feel trapped because you’re sober, I’m out. I believe a self aware narcissist still keeps their spouse on egg shells, there’s no way to ever trust. And without trust, how can one remain married? You’re married to a lie. Yes, they may stay sober in whatever way but they’re incurable. And they’re capable of literally killing someone. It’s a horrible way to live . Sorry, I find all of this intriguing and scary all at the same time. Still learning over here!

Its some time now but i stiil cant believe how a person who was so nice so caring so present suddenly started lashing out and calling me names gasligjting me and abusing me verbally .I understood why his ex left and wjy he said she cried a lot if he was that wonderful person.But he wasnt He has no accountability he cant say sorry not even to his family and i.understand why

Mask

Yes sadly only a mask

Ive seen the mask and he copied me in words. Other clothing style like me. And ALL the lies he put me on me. Nastier it got worse

Mask…thank you for this video

Ok dk

You speak facts. She was changing and you had to change. You wife had arrived at that healthy mindset that she was no longer going to settle and you no longer wanted to settle and stay stuck. You desire hope. You desired change. I applaud you, but especially i applaud your wife.

I see the mask

When you say narcissist and narc behavior, does the narc father destroy kids lives ?

I saw the mask

Mask !

Seen the mask eventually.

See more than 1 mask!!😢

It’s a mask, he’s dead

mask

If narcissists lack empathy, isn't it yet another mask and/or "mirroring" when they "choose to be honest" and change? I feel like the host may be doing some "mirroring" of emotions of his own in these videos.

Mask. The mask fell off when I got pregnant.

Mask. Just a ghost of a man.

Mask..

Stop saying “he/him” - not all narcissists are MALE!!!

Mask.

Hmmm...so let me get this straight...this guy is a "self-aware narcissist" who is capitalizing on teaching super vulnerable victims of narcissistic abuse about the ways of a narcissist?🤔 This concept seems a tad self-serving and manipulative...not surprising, being that he is a narcissist. What are his credentials for doing these one on one sessions with people? I wonder how much he charges for a single session. I don't trust the guy.

Mask 👺

MORAL OF THE STORY …….DO NOT EVER TAKE MEN SERIOUSLY OR TRUST ANY MAN EVER .🙏🏻🫵🏻

Mask

I saw the mask

Mask

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Mask

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Mask

Mask