The R Spot : S04E08 : Red Flags 

ATINA271 self realisation is key...

ATINA271 hahaha you've got me rolling. Sometimes it's hard to see our flaws

Yeah u and everyone else... I have never meant anyone who does not fall prey to something she mentioned in some regard.

Damn lol

Azalea Brown i was thinking the same thing you are not alone

Correct

Ur right God gave woman that.and its real.

So true. If something never feels right, let it go.

Sometimes we damage it. Commit to learning new values and boundaries. Ask people who are healthy and balanced what are good proper standards, then try to address whether we have healthy values for ourselves. Then when they are clear to us we work on our self-worth so we can be firm to keep the values we set up. Heal.wounds so we don't allow our emotions to rule our mind and our standards leading us astray with false reasonings.

Extremely VIGILANT with strong sense of discernment...will disassociate WITH love YET little to no regret!

Very true

You never want to entertain or be around someone that is cynical about everything period.

She looks younger now than when I first ever saw her on the Oprah show years ago

Aging.

Brad C ageing is a perfectly legitimate spelling, actually.

Yes! I think it’s bc she’s done so much internal & spiritual work to transcend her traumatic past & is in a much better place now - financially, careerwise, & most importantly within herself. It doesn’t hurt to b a close associate & employee of Oprah!

@@bradc7882 google the word. Buy a dictionary!

Breeze Gilbert I completely agree!!

I agree, going through that now👿

Run 👣🏃🏽

Breeze Gilbert Ty for summing up the video:)

N B Trying to, hes so dwell on negative things always, i try to keep my head high but its hard. Time to leave he really gives the pointing finger and guilt trip. I am trying to move separate ways, but hes like glue. I hate caring too much geez

God ain't got nothin' to do with it. Grow up and realize you have your own God. It's called your two hands at the end of your arms. GPS. Girl, sit yo' big ass down and shut up with that talk before I sick TD Jakes after you.

TammySue PattyPan amen!

TammySue.... when she said that I was like, YES! God Provided System (GPS). I love Iyanala❤️

TammySue PattyPan Thanks Sis!!!

thank you

meika79 Good for you

meika79 glad that you said no... bcuz my ex was always broke and he promised me he’ll owe me, but he broke up with me 8 days before Valentine’s Day and crushed me.

He probably didn't even have a six figure job. I used to know a dude like that. He was broke but fronted like he had money 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

Watching out that sound like a narcissist

See it as a blessing he realised you were not foolish enough to be used there is better !

WOW...very insightful. That's a lot of us, rejecting based on our unresolved baggage versus true and helpful intuition.

Omg...that’s me!!! How do we fix that?? 😔

Jnanya Lewis you need to ask God to help you discern this through prayer. You will make many mistakes being this way.

Me too!!

A little one-on-one therapy might not hurt, either. Don't waste time. It's later than you think.

Gary Stallings that’s right

Trying

Not When YOU Totally Want "Freedom, Peace, LOVE & Honesty" Living YOUR Best & Full Life

NYCCHOCOLATE7777 It is not hard if you want peace of mind.

That's What I Said "It's NOT Hard When YOU Want TOTAL Freedom, PEACE of Mind LOVE of Self 1st & ALWAYS"

Georgia J I know the feeling but your are waiting on the man that God sends to you ...but it's a long wait lol but God just wants you to himself and thats ok with me...he doesn't keep us from good things! Blessings to you

Georgia J how old were you when that relationship ended. did you have children together?

@@bighammers3268 - 🙄 **NOTE: Why does one always have to be "waiting on the man/woman that God sends them?" ---->>>> . . . What's wrong with someone just choosing THEMSELVES?! (As I have?) Personally, I don't want no man OR no woman. When someone is truly at peace with who THEY are and enjoy their own company, there's a freedom and liberation in "not having to have anybody" or "please anybody" that is indescribable. I choose ME and my two (2) Pomeranians. We MUST stop preaching this lie that Single = Incomplete. #JustSaying

I dont think its desperation, I feel when ur really in love ur emotions get the best of u to continue in the realization in spite of red flags emotions can make u weak when or not in control of it

glad ur honest about ur desperation..does not apply to everyone,

at lease ur honest it would be out of desperaion for you, however some people dont have a problem being alone

So True Everything She Saying.

@Terrie Smith Exactly, Exactly, Exactly)))))!!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 I saw them blowing in the wind, and ignored them, because I was desperate to be married!! Wow!! Not good at all!!

Because even if we know something our flesh ( human nature) can't do what's right unless we connect to Christ. He keeps us in alignment. He must be saved in Jesus. Without Him, we're lost.

Right Right Sis Been There & Done That And Now I Take "Truth, Responsibility & Comfort ln Knowing I'm Worth lt ALL & So Are YOU" And YAAASSS-SHE ls Super AMAZING

God had warned me in a dream and red flags not to date my ex-husband. I was almost killed! Listen to God.

Jennie Lawrence Yes Listen to your gut. My page has inspirational enlightening video to help you with picking up negativity etc.

lavidavi86 true

CHINENYE UDENGWU he is "NARCISSISTIC"

I married a red flag and I was one as well. Two broken messed up people trying to make things work. Married in Feb 2018, separated March 2018. I definitely learned my lesson.

CHINENYE UDENGWU if you haven’t already, please educate yourself about NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder) and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Med Circle, Ross Rosenberg, Craig Malkin, & thelittleshaman.org some of many good resources on RU-vid and online.

Sounds like a messed up dude I know in Edmonton AB

CHINENYE UDENGWU oh! So I see you met my ex. 😂😂😂😂

Nathaniel12345678910 duh

Same with me. That statement has stuck in my brain. And she also said don't bring out your good China and wear your good wig for crazy😁

That is true about the parents but what I got from that is not the parents having issues and projecting them onto the kids. I want to believe she means how do you deal with parents having issues and have you forgiven them or have you accepted how they are and moved on. I believe there are a lot of kids who have issues their parents and unhealthy relationships with their parents because of the parents, but how do you internalize it? If you haven't dealt with it or you deal with them in a negative way always blaming or judging never forgiving it'll dictate how you relate to others in a negative way. Our parents are the foundation of how we relate to others so if they teach us from all negative aspects we have to learn how to turn that around from a positive standpoint. Meaning to forgive them for not knowing better and understanding they did what they knew how with what they had or they just didn't have it to give in the first place. Our higher power teaches us to forgive and move on. That way we won't have negative belief systems that steer us in the wrong direction when it comes to love and relationships with men/ women, children, sisters/ brothers, bosses, neighbors all people. Didn't mean to go that deep but i'm speaking from experience.

Oh lawd I wish I saw this red flag about 2 years ago lol 😂

Yes I agree but I had to do inventory after reading what you wrote because I am that person

A D that is Oidipus coplex and it is not possible to have a healthy relationship with a man like that - unless he chooses to consciously work on that ... I had an experience like that, and as soon as I realised how bad it was I repelled from the BOY who played a man ...

A D is a person has a good relationship with their parents it’s balanced. These relationships you speak of are toxic. But yes I definitely agree with a man who consults his friends over you and values others instead of you. Toxic indeed!

June howard @ HALLELUJAH, Amen.

❤️

Amen ❤

I like Ariana

Yes she does

N the same tug 🛥💨💨💨

S Os Their Both a problem. If your going to be late have enough respect to call and let people know your going 2 b late. If your consistantly late=your fucked up.

That's what she said hun

@@deandravr *They're *You're

It is definitely a problem

That's what she said.... REPEATEDLY late!

ItsyagurlShay J I agree, her skin is flawless and she appears healthy and happy.

ItsyagurlShay J yes!!!

SHE SURE DOES! LESS THAN ONE MINUTE IN I WAS LIKE "IYANLA LOOKS JOYOUS/ RADIANT " BLESS HER

She looks better than ever! Fantastic!

ItsyagurlShay J yes beautiful!!

She does!

Zodiac Wars out doing some one else.

Zodiac Wars ...Or that it is a long distance thing. Context

Or on blk folks time 🤣🤣🤣 No seriously it's usually drug addicts etc they're always late

@@jojobean9260 I disagree. It's people with poor time management skills. Not accounting for traffic, or not realizing how much time it actually takes for them to get washed and dressed, etc. I used to be late to everything because I always thought I had "enough" time to do this or that, but never took the time to trip plan as truckers say....plan your time ahead.

Alicia Rains - Very true! Some people lack executive function skills or have ADD. For some, it’s a pattern of behavior they grew up learning and have a hard time breaking. Yes, it causes problems, but I’m surprised Iyanla was so dismissive of people with this issue.

You sir are a masculine man. Only feminine men ask women for money.

missmerbella I agree. Iyanla said, what matters is how the individual “holds” that experience. Meaning: if a person hasn’t dealt with the problem in a healthy way, it will affect their relationships with everyone else. Not having a relationship with a parent is a red flag because that’s not the way life is supposed to be. So we have to know the reason for that severance & see how it will affect our relationship with the mate. Be it negatively or positively.

But that is something wrong

missmerbella was thinking the same thing

Agreed. I have horrible parents but the best thing I ever did was put as much space between myself and them. I'm happier and I don't have anyone beating me down mentally and emotionally it's draining dealing with people like that.

It's about forgiveness, no matter what someone did( I know that's a hard pill to swallow) because you interpret that as you doing some for them. That's not the case though....your lack of forgiveness towards someone who has harmed only makes your life a living hell. Whether it's with yourself or your relationships with other, or you lack of progression through life. By not forgiving people you give them way more power over you life than you might think you do. Forgiveness doesn't mean what they did to you was right. Forgiveness means you indeed there is something mentally, and emotionally wrong with that person and unfortunately you were their outlet but you are not to blame. Forgive them and forgive yourself... that's the only way to free yourself

If you want to know the end look at the beginning. Yeah I learned this one awhile ago! Never fails!

🤗

nutzforart so do I.