The Reason You're Single - 1/4 Life Crisis 4 - Jonathan Pokluda 

“There’s no greater way to waste your life than to live in desperation for another season.” 31:57

I enjoy living a single life for God. I once left a church I attended for 10 years, because only the married couples were allowed to be leaders in the church. The leaders pressured the singles into getting married. They told me I was incapable ; I cannot do more for God and that I had to marry if I wanted ministry. I believe in putting God first and decided to move on. Jonathan Pokluda preached a very powerful message. I took it all in and greatly appreciate it. It's nice to know there are married christains encouraging single christains to serve God to the fullest.

Here listening to this because God planned for me to listen to this, 8 years later. I am learning lots. Thank you. Thank you HolySpirit for leading me here

Wonderful sermon! Glory to God for preachers like JP. we must understand each season of our life and be content. God will provide in the right time if you desire a change of your relationship status.

This got better as it went on. Life has patterns and those patterns will continue and magnify when we enter tougher phases of life. Great perspective.

People who are married should not do sermons like this if they were married in their early 20's. They have no clue what its like being single and doing life alone!

Oh wow this was an amazing message. Thank you for posting this. It's what I needed to hear.

What a great message !!!!!!! Wow !!! I'm speechless

I want to be single for the rest of my life! I have been celibate for years, and I don't miss having sexual intimacy at all. I don't care what the teachers say, if it's a gift or not, I just know that I want to be single and celibate!

Beautiful and timely message. Thank you Lord for this message. God bless you Jonathan

I so encouraged after hearing this message. Thank you for making this subject of singleness so practical. Jesus is Lord!

Today i missed church and they are talking about love before marrige and i desided to come here cuz i saw it a few day’s ago and this talked to alot thx Lord!

wow this opened my eyes to alot of things

Doing life married is hard (not speaking from experience). Doing life single/alone is harder.

Wow! What an amazing God we serve! My gf broke up with me 2 weeks ago, about a month after I became a born again Christian and mentioned the possibility of marriage, and I’ve been so focused on life back together and married that I have been neglecting the gift I have. I’m also still struggling to shake off this lust demon, so the Lord knows now isn’t the time for marriage. I’m just glad He directed me to yet another JP sermon that’s seemingly always on time. Praise God. Be blessed brethren.

thanks these messages are real issues

When I was 15 years old I had my first Christian lecture on dating and marriage. I started praying for a wife and I wanted to be a good husband. I was always talking to the ladies in my church about marriage. I was always very romantic and enjoyed going to weddings . I've been trying hard for 30 years. I did everything I could. I was always involved in church. I don't have any family and because I am single I don't have many friends. Churches treat single people as second class people. Churches tolerate singles but they don't celebrate singles. I wish God was more romantic. Something that puzzles me is people that don't care about God and have amazing marriages. They get along well, they prosper and they don't care about God. I have a friend that left her faith to marry a non Christian and she is very happy, her husband is a hard working and honest man. It just hurt to go to church and watch all those couples going out to lunch with other couples and you just stay there alone and no one invites you. I spent the last 6 Thanksgiving and Christmas alone. I try to hint people in the church that I have nowhere to go but they just ignore. Seven years ago I bought a ring by faith and I did some Photoshop pictures of me getting married. It has been 7 years and I didn't even go on a date in the last seven years.

because there is always something better than life....appreciate it...

im very happy I be listening this since this morning more and more messages from you .. I felt like God make me understand clearly from your messages singleness is a gift. . you absolutely right im 2 years single I always wondering if ill be alone for the rest of my life. I always said GOD maybe because im pretty &my body I always attracted the wrong men. *but I guess I was wrong. . I wish I have found this and stop saying stupid thing to myself and let GOD USE ME AND PLANS MY LIFE INSTEAD OF ME COMPLAINING ABOUT WHY IM 2 YEARS SINGLE IM PRETTY BUT CAN'T FIND ANYONE'S. . NOW I THINK IS THE BEST FOR ME TO BE SINGLE AND FOR GOD MAY USE ME &wait for my future husband

I never wanted to be single I always wanted to have a wife and children Both of my parents died before I was 24 They were both sick most of my teenage years Im now 55 and never even dated anyone that I was really interested in I've learned that you don't get what you pray or work for you get what God assigns to you . im sick of my gift

Yes, there is a reason for this season and we will lose out on opportunities for ministry. But not every single can travel the world for ministry.

Thank you God 🙏🏽💓

So glad you've posted these messages!! Amazing.

I want to be single,after 50 years of being married under the thumb of another! No one tries to have me believe as they do!!!

Hey preacher, I'm doing it like you did!

Nice words.

wow l loved this

Dudes, this is so good.

Don't lose the gift. Use it! Awwwww God bless you! Thank you very much :'(

Never thought there was a reason for my singleness! ♡ Thank you Jesus

I do agree with this Sermon but it would be more powerful whether the person it comes from were living the same situation I mean, were single!!

Paul was married then divorced NOT single - untill he was - again. So he may have been a bit jaded about it (failed marriage etc). ALSO he was in a postion to say which he prefered. Many who have never been married are not able to say what they prefer but are forced to trust Gods plan for thier lives instead.

I need to meet more ppl who have a healthy appreciation of singleness

So glad I came upon this. So so worth it. I will never forget it.

I was single for 14 yrs, then married for 6 and cheated on, then single again. I can feel some kind of way when married people say unhelpful things to me like "maybe God wants you to be single" or any of the countless other unwise things Christians say that mean well but have a different perspective. If I let my thoughts dwell on that person or what others think or say to me then I fall into the trap that God wants me to stay out of. Singleness sucks sometimes and marriage sucks sometimes and widowhood sucks sometimes and countless other things in life that are unique in ways but in the same way it's all suffering and we have to remember that as singles. Suffering is suffering. Christ said he has called us all to suffering and we can't point to each other grumbling why that person's suffering is different or "better" than my own. What we're doing is grumbling against God. It's God who is sovereign so what I'm saying is God has not seen fit to give me what so and so has and so and so is worse than me. Well that's an unbiblical statement right there. We ALL have fallen short and we ALL deserve eternal punishment from Christ. We were all GIVEN GRACE and GIVEN MERCY so we need to be careful not to be like the laborers who complained about their wages. Truth is we all deserve to burn in hell and whatever God chooses to give us or not give us at whatever point we should be grateful. This world is not our home and if we make this world or the things in it our focus we will always be complaining or comparing. It is the sin in us that causes us to look at our brother or sister and determine what should be rightfully ours. Do people say unwise things to singles or cause more suffering...yes...but it is our duty and grace as God's children to let those statements root out what might be evil in our own hearts and let God deal with that and grow us through whatever suffering he ordains. If we don't then we will let things like this divide us and won't listen to anyone that is not going through exactly what we're going through. It's so easy to want to "qualify" someone to speak to us but God spoke through a donkey and he can use anything or anyone or any situation he wants to deliver the truth. Saul prophesied about King David and he intended evil against him but God used him to declare his message of truth. I'm just saying be careful we can miss great truths and life-changing things because we don't like the source. No one has the corner market on suffering except Jesus so if we're not sweating blood all of us will be ok. God says to endure suffering like a good soldier. We are his warriors, his mighty men. Think of it as an honor God has bestowed on you to suffer in this way. It's not to minimize that there is pain and sometimes great pain but we must keep our eyes where they belong and believe God and not pain. Pain will speak to you if you let it and the end result will not be good and in time it will lead to bitterness and sometimes apostasy. I've seen it with my own eyes and have struggled myself with the whys and not fairs. ALL the pain and suffering a child of God experiences is used for both God's glory and will be for our sanctification and glorification. One day there will be no more suffering and all we touch will vanish. However if you decide to throw up your hands and go the world's way then all your suffering will be in vain and then you will suffer the consequences of sin in this earthly life and then when the end comes you will suffer for eternity. God is not mocked. Do not sin against God and your brethren for something that is temporal. This is impossible to do with man. We have the Holy Spirit in us and he must do it for us. We must press on and help the weak and not run them over because he or she may struggle with singleness more. It is hard. God didn't say die and mean sleep he meant die and there are days it feels like I'm dying. Still...one day...

I know the Bible wasn't referring to me with regards to being single. Single at 43 with 3 children and a strong desire to settle down with a Godly man. It's hard a lot of the time. Trying to not turn to online dating since I work from home and don't get out much. I go through the emotions and then come to my senses that right not my children are my ministry and whenever God sees fit He not me will bring my husband. Wasn't sure if this was directed to the younger generation, with no children and all the time in the world to go out and do God's will. Thank you just the same.. God bless

Amen!

Only good gifts come from God. If it’s something we hate, it’s not a good gift.

Great message. The truth as spoken to us by God. Thank you for sharing as God spoke to you without limits. May God bless you

Yes, I agree, all the guys at church are married or too young--all my days-but I thank God Im still single... I really appreciate the Pastor to give the right priorities...his family is 2nd after God THEN an outside ministry...plus single or married... no in between..

I came from a broken home, and all my life I wanted that family, its like I was always searching for it in my heart or outwardly. Today I am divided between wanting marriage and wanting to be single. I mean maybe I lean more into marriage, and at times even in desperation/longing. But I am terrified of marrying the wrong person-I heard personalitys/characters (can) play a part (however we can change our qualities from month to month, year to year, etc so then there is that too, being like minded - if one of our minds hasn't been renewed are we not to marry? Or if both of our minds are not renewed yet or in the process of, also other possible marriage fears I have. Thankful for your (pastor Jonathan) sermon. (Also, I realize if people are fluid, then no person can really be the right person - if that makes sense-?)

I'm 57, & I have never been married or have had children. & it's been almost 12 years since my last girlfriend. Haven't had sex since the Colts lost the Superbowl to the Saints! This is an insanely long single season !!! For which I'm not a fan of... Quit drinking over 22 years ago & thought God would bless me other than sobriety with a woman. I've stood at this fork in the road (singleness or marriage) waiting for an answer from God. It never came. We are not meant to be alone! But I've yet to find a woman who is good enough to be my future child's mother... For God to withhold love from man or woman, for each other, is an absolute living hell of loneliness and extreme cruelty!!! And yes that's a curse... If I don't have a son (I know you can't choose) the name dies with me. But again, who in their right mind would want to bring a child into THIS world?!

the Bible also says 2 are better than 1

Also, isn't a spouse also meant to share the burden? Eve was Adams helper in the old testament, but was he also her helper? And I understand if we have two people the problems might be larger, but if we have two people will they not also keep one another warm so to speak? (ideally).

Being single you have more time being in relationship with the Lord

44 years old and always single... I will get a dog... Since the season is likely to be a lifetime

When you say "you will regret it" "if your a believer" - what about if your not then why won't someone regret?

I always asking myself that but I never can't find a answer it is wrong for me to watch that ?since you mentioned. *but to be clear I don't have sex with anyone's &im clear about that i can't have sec before marriage it is also kiss touching not involved?

I think if it hasn’t happened in your 20’s it probably never will. I’m almost 33 and I don’t believe I will ever be married even though I have sexual desire and would love to have someone to spend my life with. It may feel unfair and I battle self pity and lust, but fairness would be for us to be utterly destroyed. America is crumbling to the ground and there’s no future I would want to raise a family in. I will take care of my grandparents as best I can. After they’re gone I don’t know what God has in store. Lord help my unbelief.

SINGLENESS IS A CURSE! IT'S ABSOLUTELY MORTIFYING!

Awesome teaching keep up the good work🙏🏽

The reason I'm single is because I want to be.

I am 33.... Lol timely message

Another reason is that there are no available guys around period. I work at night and go to classes in the day. The men are either married or too young. Even in my synagogue, the guys are taken. What is the answer in my case? I tried the online thing and it just doesn't work for me.

Singleness comes in three general types: single alone, single in a relationship, and single again. I believe we are close to the end of days and that seeking to be married if you are single is not that important in light of the evil times and coming wrath!

When people that got married at a young age talk about singleness 🤭

What is the difference between having a spouse or/versus a friend? Like for example Mary went to live with John, others have opposite sex just friends, others even become roommates.

Wait so my two options are choose a spouse or live radically for the kingdom of god? That’s blasphemy. Shouldn’t we live radically for the kingdom of god regardless? And wouldn’t entering into a marriage to take care of a wife be the temporal symbol of Jesus eternally saving us? Truly living out that symbol sounds like living radically for the kingdom of God. These two options make no sense. If you’re married and can’t live for God you have a sin problem.

Deep sermon

👍

wait im kind of lost in this part *IM A VIRGIN WOMAN EACH MEN I HAVE DATING I DO TOLD THEM IM WAITING FOR MARRIAGE I DON'T WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN SEXUALITY WITH THEM. . *But im a human sometimes I do have( s......tion) I don't know the proper way to explain it... I do watch porn so as a Christian you meant I can't do it?

You keep using that word gift. I don't think you know what that means

What if a man and woman get pregnant (she gets), and then he commits to be with her-is that a true marriage? Do you know what I mean?

Do you think having a wife helped you come to God though? did it change you?

What if you have fairly severe autism mixed with no good or great luck, and can’t compete well enough with other gift of gab type dudes to attract a worth while girl?? Honestly...seriously...WHAT THEN?? I don’t desire OR DESERVE this...yet other guys do?? Yet I have to just suffer with the single life as my best extremely undesirable option?? Hope I can get a strait forward understandable answer!! Please do not give me the whole...I can be like Jesus and Apostle Paul bit, either. That joke of a suffering type life is definitely not for most guys, let’s just be honest. Other than lusting after a beauty...or winning a huge lotto, or raping a beauty...HONESTLY WHAT OTHER OPTION DO I HAVE OTHER THAN SUFFER IN SEVERE DEPRESSION as a touchy feely type needing regular love and affection type 36 year old who’s never even had a good date once?? Thank you for reading and I hope you can respond.

Saaaaaaays the MARRIED guy - STOP telling us single people get to spend more time with God then treating us like we’re the children who need married people to show us the way - you literally said as a married person you spend less time with God so why are married people the ‘wiser’ ones?!!!

The man who remains single does better.. 1 Corinthians 7.37-38 …37But the man who is firmly established in his heart and under no constraint, with control over his will and resolve in his heart not to marry the virgin, he will do well. 38So then, he who marries the virgindoes well, but he who does not marry her does even better.

singleness sucks

This sermon is so incredibly wrong. Paul was not single by choice. He was single by calling. The lord called him to a life that was greater than sexual desire or any desire to take care of a woman as his wife. He wouldn’t have had time to do that while he evangelized. Jesus also was married. Jesus is the bridegroom of the whole church of God. Singleness is called a gift because it is something that is implanted in us when we’re saved, and never taken away. The GIFT of singleness is when someone has no desire to marry and/or great control over their sexual desire, such that they are not preoccupied with finding a spouse. But the period of singleness through anyones young life is not a gift, but just a period of time that should not be wasted. If it were truly a superior stage of life, Paul would’ve said to widows that they have found a good thing and should not marry. But he says the exact opposite.

this is pretty much plagiarized paul washer. still good stuff tho

mY SHEEP KNOW MY VOICE AND THEY FOLLOW ME...A STRANGER THEY WILL NOT FOLLOW!!!! THAT MAN IS JUST A STRANGER!!!

Man's opinions aren't worth 2 cents....and thats all todays preaching is!!!! Nothing but opinions!! Anybody can read their bible and get TRUTH from God....instead of listening to mans drama and opinions!!!!! As a matter of fact...The Bible says Jesus/the Holy Spirit is your teacher now,you need no man to teach you!! NO MAN!!!

bb

Heck I married a female manikin she lets me buy anything I please 😂😂😂😂😂

I don’t like the sermon coming from him he has little children and a wife -he shouldn’t be preaching it. There are many areas where it sounds almost disrespectful to his wife and if you had a chance to do it over again he would not have married her nor had his children and that is not cool

mERCY,ANOTHER ENTERTAINER WORLDLY FAKE PREACHER THAT GOES IN CIRCLES!!! "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do. 1 COR 7:8 "nO LONGER WILL YOU SAY TO ONE ANOTHER KNOW THE LORD FOR THEY WILL ALL KNOW ME FROM THE LEAST TO THE GREATEST!!!" SHUT UP YOU IDIOT GOD IS THE TEACHER!!!

Singleness is the desired state ♥ why churches favour marriage i dont know. I want marriage but im content with my singleness, yes i miss sex and am abit lonely but im enjoying my freedom. Ive raised my child, im 44 so I can appreciate this time now. ❣