The Roommates Talk Beautiful Women vs. Baddies, Being A High Value Man, Respecting Yourself + More 

Thank you all for your support and checking out this episode! Be sure to check out our previous episodes via any podcast streaming services, soundcloud.com/theroommatespodcast.

Men first all should stop being overly concerned about looks. She could be very beautiful with a banging body, but that could all change after marriage. She could let herself go. Think about that. Think about the fact that looks change. All I'm hearing is how fine a woman has to be. Women are appealing to you using their looks bc that's what you respond to. Your overfocus on beauty is why they overfocus on beauty and character is ignored.

I think one thing that needs to be discussed is that if you're dating the same kind of people doing the same thing to you, it really is just you. The common denominator is you. No one else. We can't blame everyone for our choices or view of ourselves. Most of it is subconscious, but you have to be willing to take time for yourself and respecting your own boundaries before you can show someone how to treat you.

1:01:08 when Hafeez said "People think men are demons and women are angels. But men and women are human beings." I agree! We all make mistakes we all sin. we have to stop putting human beings on a pedestal or knocking them down one based off whether or not they are a man or woman. Great episode!

That’s why I believe you should only date your equal. When you’re equal it’s pretty hard to be condescending to your partner. It’s not your partners job to “fix” a person just because you see potential in a pretty person

I really enjoyed this episode . I think this conversation flowed perfectly and I agree whole heartedly with the things both of you were saying . This is a much needed conversation among black men . Loving and respecting yourself is necessary before trying to jump into a relationship etc. toxicity comes in many forms and you’ll be able to recognize and move as needed when you know who you are and what you bring to the table . It’s okay to walk away from any situation that is not adding value to your life .

This episode will definitely be top 10 of the year! This conversation is such a necessity amongst men. How can we truly love someone else without loving ourselves first? Keep doing your thing fellas!

Love yourself first! That is a gem. Self love is under rated !

You guys really opened up my eyes with this podcast today. Y'all spoke truth and it kinda hurt my feelings a bit simply because a lot of my actions were from my ego band I had to be honest with myself and realize that I am part of the problem why men approach me the way they do. It makes me wish I could have gone back a couple years back and start with a clean slate. And Chris said something true as well... ''women don't see what they did wrong until after the relationship has ended''. I can definitely say that this was me as well. Not saying that I painted out the person I was with to be the devil but we were both being co-dependent and I never saw how my behavior could have caused him to retaliate but it's as if we were both bouncing off each other. He did something mean and I reacted negatively but I never noticed the part I played in the mess until after all was said and done then I finally came to the realization that I as well was a toxic person and wasn't as nice as I thought myself to be. Keep speaking truth guys. We can only get better from here on out.

Chris be speaking truth man. I love when he gets introspective and goes on a tangent.

This was a great podcast! I express to my brother and homies all the time how important it is to value and love yourself as unique individuals. I talk about valuing your body and not just giving it to any ol' girl/woman because that concept doesn't only apply to women. For instance, some of my male friends who are in their late 20's/early 30's and single, still like to go clubbin' and chase females. Now there's nothing wrong with doing your thing, but EVERY WEEKEND MY DUDE? LOL I question if they are making enough time for themselves to evolve as a human being. Plus, you run the risk of always being worried about getting an STD or getting a random woman pregnant. My point is, when you evaluate their habits/trends, it boils down to getting a certain kind of attention that is only necessary to uplift one's ego or make one feel less insecure about themselves. So, how do we learn to value and respect ourselves more as men so that we're not always looking for outside factors to make us feel better about ourselves? One way, is truly getting to know yourself and accept who you are as a person, FLAWS AND ALL! No human being is exempt from having flaws, so all individuals must be OK with making mistakes in life and learn from them in order to truly grow. I believe once you accept yourself (flaws and all), you will then start to naturally and gradually build self-confidence and learn to authentically love yourself. Once you truly accept and love who you are, then you will learn what it takes to genuinely love another human being the RIGHT WAY. SO TO ALL THE HOMIES AND ROOMATES OUR THERE WHO COULD USE THIS ADVICE: LEARN TO LOVE AND RESPECT YOURSELF AND YOU WILL SEE HOW MUCH FARTHER YOU WILL GO IN LIFE! Much love and positive vibes to all! #ROOMATE

I really loved this conversation. Especially the topic regarding a man that isn't of "high-value" who gets a "baddie" that doesn't treat him right, but he tolerates her BS anyways because he believes that she will be the only "high-value woman" that he'll ever get. I experienced feeling that way towards men when I didn't know my worth. Since then The Creator has taught me how to love and value myself. I also agree with what you said about The Messiah not allowing us to continue down the path of destruction because He truly loves us.

This episode is my favorite one yet. I’ve watched this a countless amount of times as well as put my friends and family (mainly the fellas) onto this. So many men need to hear this. I’ve especially had struggles in some of these areas that were spoken about, so to hear fellow men be vulnerable and speak about these things is incredible. I really appreciate you guys for this video as well as your other content. Continue to move towards your purpose. God bless.

The "Good" men and women have to continuously remind themselves of their worth. The problem is you have to always be consciously aware of what people's intentions are. It takes work because you automatically want to assume that not EVERYONE comes into your life to do harm. But you ALWAYS need to observe, observe and observe the other person and how they move. The reality is not everyone loves themselves enough to recognize how they need to be treated. It takes tremendous understanding of the difference between your wants and NEEDS and to KNOW exactly what those needs are and what they LOOK like. So when you're in a situation with another person you can RECOGNIZE when your being used or taken advantage of because it does not align with your needs for the relationship.

So blessed by this message. Learning more n more each day from y’all.. tryna be young kings out here

I look forward to these videos every week! Keep doing your thing! I can’t wait to see what 2019 brings for this community

From this conversation, I think men value baddies more that authentic women who will respect them and treat them as high value. the excessive focus on baddies even in this conversation sounds like they are at the mercy of baddies. When you are at the mercy of someone they going to treat you how they wish.

In reference to the likes that women receive on social media; some women equate sexual attraction and attention to elevated social value. The high of that acceptance is addictive and detrimental to one's self esteem. Just like any other drug.

While some people need to learn how to love themselves, I think people with overinflated egos also need to learn how to humble themselves. I do not think we should judge the "baddies" too harshly, but it is important to set boundaries in order to protect yourself. Protecting yourself is not selfish as long as it is out of love for yourself. Each individual has their own limit, so those boundaries will really vary. Usually when people show toxic behaviors, they're really just showing how hurt they are. That pain can be caused by you, someone else in their past, or low self-esteem - or a combination. Love the conversations on this channel!

Valuable men and valuable women are priceless. Respect yourself and others will respect you.

I’m not even finished listening to this episode yet and I’m already loving it! The weekly debrief is an interesting concept, I think it would definitely help to avoid a lot of conflict and misunderstanding in the future. I’m one of those people that holds everything in that’s bothering me rather than communicating....it’s something I’m working on though. Great episode 😊

I think lack of communication is the problem. If a partner does wrong/talks bad/disrespects their partner the “excuse” of I did it back to you because of what you did is wrong. You have to communicate how it made you feel and if it keeps happening then it’s obvious your partner doesn’t respect you or values you. That’s where YOUR self respect has to kick in and you decide if you don’t value yourself enough to walk away and find someone that will respect your feelings. At the end of the day you can’t force someone to respect/value you but you can make yourself find someone who does all on their own.

Guys ...this was an insightful conversation ... honest ...I like Hafeez' take on "niceness" and how hard it is for us ladies to address issues...head on...and the how necessary it is to have a ."weekly debrief" ..❤.from your Kenyan big sister🇰🇪....

Beautiful conversation guys. It shows that you’re already high value, high character men.

Love this. So true when you don't respect yourself you will accept anything and will make excuses for them. (Codependency). But you learn boundaries and self-respect. Definitely something I had to go through myself. I'm glad men are also learning as well!

Hafeez is right. We teach people how to treat us. If someone is a pushover , they will get run over. And yes your partner knows what they can get away with and what they can't

Relationships provide opportunities to identity where we need healing. I pray you stand for being treated with respect and for returning love, compassion and respect to your partner. That's powerful.

Great video, high value character is the key.Character is not based on looks,it comes from within...

Couldnt agree more with asking a person about their past relationships. If they say nothing about themselves yupp no accountability. Great show guys stay up

Thank you for another awesome discussion and topic!!! I enjoyed your perspectives!

I've learned that alot of men want to be treated like peasants. I've dated different guys that held me to a certain standard. Assumed that I was rude girl/baddie and when getting to actually know me learned that wasn't stuck up and disrespectful, kinda fell back. Felt I was too nice. Could be wrong but this is just my observation.

4 months later and still under 20k views. 😔 sad. More men should watch this

For me that was the best episode so far closely challenged by Stephan L episodes. A lot of great points I can relate to from past experiences. Some good wisdom for the future. Shout out from Birmingham England keep doing what you're doing.

Wow this episode was so bomb! Caught nothing but gems.

I love these videos! Really opens up your eyes to what Men are thinking/ going through!!!

I think men view women as arm candy, so when he gets a baddie he feels like he's getting oohs and ahhs from both men and women. The other guy wants to be him, and other women start to admire him.

Hey guys!! I love the podcast keep it up. To piggyback then add to what you've said we must first love ourselves in order to love others. True. However what many of us still dont know is that we can never truly love ourselves if we don't first love God (the Root and Author of our identuty) Only God can show us who we truly are and when we accept His view/truth of who we are and live in this truth we love ourselves. Our prayer should be God show me who You are, then show me who I am according to You and show me to see others through Your eyes so I can love them as You love them.

Y'all are very legit I hope more men see this and can learn these awesome lessons. I'll surely be watching this one again a few times.

If you actually look up the origin of the word “nice” it means stupid in Middle English and ignorant in latin. Wheeeeew the power of language! Y’all are always so spot on!!

The light skinned man was coming from a good place, he has the tools to speak wisdom on this subject. I pray for deeper healing for the other boy, I felt a hurt and bitter undertone to his “debate”.... I’m editing to add that Chris needs his own show and Hakeem should take time out to heal! The world needs pure and balanced opinions in terms of influence. Just my opinion and probably God’s too

Really enjoyed this build--> Don't be apologetic of your opinions. Speak your truth, unfiltered, unadulterated and kind (not "nice"). Props to Hafeez for his leadership in this discussion. It's an honor to see these 2 develop as men of God as they are ever-evolving. Blessings, peace, & respect to all listening.

Or maybe you guys should focus more on dating a woman on your level and focus less on dating a "baddie." You attract who/what you are.

I truly love this podcast!! I look forward to every discussion, because I know it's going to be informative and educational.; "We need to turn nice guys into kind guys". wow!! These two have conversations, that need to be talk about on a national level...

Great conversation about Men they need to be encouraged and uplifted as well!!!

You know what I have noticed? People talk about this whole baddie vs beautiful quality woman thing as if the two are mutually exclusive. A woman can have the "booty and ta tas" and be smart and striving for the right things in life. I don't understand this mentality. But I've also noticed a lot of men chase the "baddie" because they put them on a pedestal and think its what they deserve and I agree with you guys. It's apparent that don't know their worth. If they knew their worth and respected themselves, they would realize they deserve so much more

I just started watching these videos recently, and I definitely like these older videos more. It could just be the difference between their conversations and the one on one interview style videos. And of course people grow and evolve, so it makes sense that the show/podcast would shift as well.

I loved it. All good young men should watch this. You’re both amazing!!

I've been saying the exact same thing for years!! Glad to see men speak on it and realize the faulty though process!! Oh and men overvalue themselves as well!!!

I appreciate your thoughts, guys! Thank you for being bold enough to speak your mind. I pray you both accept Gods love for you, and find confidence in Him! Good talk. 🙌

Wow, this is a sad realization. I had no idea that men idolize women. That is crazy! Only Jesus can save you! There is no way that a woman can carry herself without God let alone herself and a man! I agree, idolizing a woman is a form of worship....only God can save us!!! For the record, I am a black woman in America.

Wow i been gone for a few months & y'all grew so much!! You guys are the true examples of hustling and yassss kings keep it up💕💕💕💕 this was a very informative episode

this is interesting because alot of men say we as women generalize them based on a few experiences, but they are doing the same to us. a woman who is attractive and independent you assume we have a mentality of im better than you. which, as a successful, young black woman, is totally not true. how can you guys get upset when women say "men arent shxt" yet you say " independent women think they are better than you" its the same thing and completely untrue. youre generalizing a whole category of women based on a few experiences or what you have heard. Also, i do believe in loving you first, but that is a constant work in progress. this conversation is still showing a power structure in that a man (person) should view themselves above another. instead these men put the women on a pedestal.. thats their fault to be honest for putting anyone on a pedestal. But to go into something as a man putting yourself higher than the woman just shows a negative power structure. going into something equally as people is the best thing to do. until you figure out someones character, you cant say you are below OR above them. i understand where your hearts are, but i think the beginning part of this conversation is generalizing a whole group of women, based on women who are "baddies" who think they are better than me, or verbally abusive women who may talk down to a man. to be honest, it does happen, but it sounds like a bit of baggage and bitterness from past experiences. you can consider yourself a queen and deserving of the best while being HUMBLE. you can be a nice person and not be taken advantage of. yall still have a view thats totally skewed based on social media experiences.... yes is important to love yourself first, but not at the cost of downplaying a whole group of women based on experiences. saying certain women are average joes (according to whatever standard you have), Who is to say that woman isnt absolutely beautiful in someone elses eyes? what you consider a baddie is based on what YOUR perception of a baddie is....etc.. that CLEARLY shows that you still have a view on what a beautiful woman is... appreciate the discussion but this conversation is for sure biased... in my opinion

I agree with weekly debriefing in relationships. Figure each other out! This is 🙌🏼

Y'all don't get enough credit, great content guys!

Another great talk...appreciate ya and the honesty.

So many generally nice people, male and female, have strong attractions to people that are not good and kind or that have low interest in them-and then pour so much energy into them.

Preach!!!!!!! Hafeez and I are one in the same. lol Speaking for myself being a woman, we know the men we can take advantage of. The passive pushover man who we can talk sideways too and get away with it Male or female we teach people how to treat us , and when we lack self value and respect it manifests itself in the quality of people in our lives. In my experience men are not really that expressive in relationships when they have been hurt or feel disrespected. It's this unspoken offense that shows up as aggression or rage.

This podcast was so enlightening. We know that there are men who don’t respect themselves, but this is usually a conversation that pertains to women. I’ve watched several videos and podcasts about this very topic as it relates to women, but this is the first I’ve seen as it relates to men. Great job! ❤️

This one hits home for me! Thank you, Hafeez and Chris! 🙏🏿✊🏿

I'm only 9 mins in and I'm screaming to myself (YESSSSS!!)....I'm ready for this. I hear so many men dog women or I see the type of women they date and it all boils down to this, VALUE! I always ask who are you allowing into your space. You are of value, your time is of value, so who you allow in is crucial.

👏🏽 Great conversation. I think this is one of my favorites because it’s so relevant today. I think men/ women need more examples of what a Highly valued and respectful man is. If they’ve never seen an example of it they can’t follow suit. They also, have to want change for themselves. Once you become the person you aspire to be/ understand your value , you’ll likely attract the type of person you desire. SN: I’m glad you brought up the de-briefs. I implemented that in my last relationship and it was pretty effective. Understanding how both parties are progressing or where they need improvement helps alot. It’s dope to see a man take the initiative to bring it into a relationship. 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

I just came across your podcast last week while listening to Stephan Speaks. I LOVE your show!

why do men want a baddie so bad ? why are we focusing on this

I think for most men when it comes to the opposite sex the first step is be able to control your own sexual urges/desires. A lot of us will stoop to lower levels in the name of sex. We see it all the time with cheating and entertaining females we have no business entertaining.

There is a low supply of loyal quality women also. That's why both the high quality men & the high quality women are having an issue of connecting. Out of the human component desire for companionship. We often take what's available to quench that hunger but it's usually something unhealthy just convenient substeance.

Hafiz and Chris thank you so much brothers. You know what I'm going through a hell kind of breakup and listing your podcast working like remedy. Thanks a ton. Love you.

brent faiyaz is a great artist also....

58:33 hit the nail on the head. People need to keep that same energy 🙌🏾✊🏾👏🏾

I love your podcastttt, please don’t stop the great work and sincerity just because a few people get offended. ❤️ A big hug from Mexico and God bless youuuu

Well said!!! The truth is sometimes hard to accept but it doesn't change the facts #knowyourworth❤

I truly enjoyed listening to this podcast! Thank you for your insightful perspectives! ☺️❤️

i resonate on this so much, when i was younger i use to allow women to talk to me how they feel out of fear, because i wasn't use to having women in my life.. as i got older I started gaining my footing an demanded my respect, I don't let people get away with talkin sideways to me, I'll gladly pull some one up for trying to dis me..

It is interesting that you brought up the issue if calling someone the B-word. I had a conversation with a male friend about if his wife would leave him if he cheated. I told him that she probably wouldn't. He asked me why I said she wouldn't. I told him that if you were able to call her a "Red B****" and you guys are still together, I don't see cheating being the deal breaker. Being called out of your name is such the fashion that he did and she still stayed, SPEAKS VOLUMES!!! Words are powerful and I don't believe in, "I only said it because I was mad." I believe what a person says is how they truly feel about you and themselves.

Men set a high standard for yourself and live up to it. Set a standard of how you want to be treated and stick to it. Don't take crap from anyone. Command your respect by your own actions. Trust that those around you will believe you or move on

Yo, Chris look so sad when Hafeez said, "snuggle"! I feel you bro😅

Great conversation and some really good meaningful things that I definitely will be applying to my self. Great episode fellas.

Another amazing session, I shared this with my friends.

Really good conv guys. I enjoyed watching it. Nice to see men having a deep conv. 👍🏻👍🏻

I love you guys and I have no problem with the type of content you come up with including your topics. What you always talk about is relevant to man and woman. I subscribed to this channel so I can understand and learn what man go through, their challenges and also see things also in a man's perspective. It's so true same man allow some woman to disrespect them and ill-treat them because they don't know their worth and value. Same men are broken hence they allow such and man are in need of real love. And some have never experienced what true love is; having a woman love you with all your weakness and be a helper to help you build towards being a great man and achieving your goals. Please note! I believe the helping and supporting goes both ways. Not all independent woman think that they are better than some guys and I know you not saying all independent woman thinks so. To be honest it depends on what kind of a woman they are. A God-fearing woman knows how she needs to treat a man as the bible does teach women on how they should treat their husbands, same goes for man. I use to be into bad boys but that changes as I discovered what I want from a man, my value and the way I want to be treated. One last thing, people treat you in a specific way because you allow them to.

Beautifully said with this one very introspective 🙌🏾

I love this show and the commentary but maybe you guys should write down notes prior to the show so you won’t keep forgetting what your saying, I do it all the time and it helps ☺️😉 keep up the great work guys!

I saw the bacon-neck on his henley in the thumbnail and he seemed so relatable! I clicked so fast!

Yall bring fans on?? I'd love to have these conversations with other men who are in tune with these things in life. Good show.

Great conversation and podcast! Keep it up

Yassss Chris is right, 6lack is the shit!!! I still listen to Free 6lack almost everyday... more comments to come as I just started watching this weeks video. If Chris was older we would be very compatible, we have a lot in common but I’m old and have kids and have been married 😁😁😁

Thanks guys this was very therapeutic for me🙏🙏

Wow, I just stumbled on this channel. Interesting! Handsome and intelligent men!! Yay!

This was sooo good! Very applicable to my life. Thanks so much guys! ❤️

So here for self-love... thoroughly enjoyed your perspectives

2 yrs ago I discovered infidelity in my marriage. We went to marriage counseling and throughout the sessions and our discussions, everything was my fault. It was always well if you hadn't have done this (5yrs ago when we first got together) then I wouldn't have done that (now three years into our marriage). I was dealing with a narcissistic sociopath. In their mindset if they are always right then by default you are always wrong no matter the circumstances or results. I had to ask myself repeatedly what am I willing to put up with. How long was I going to DEVALUE myself to make this work. At that point it was 8yrs of me trying to prove that I wasnt the low character males she was used to and I came to the realization that she was the one with the low character. Once you know your VALUE you wont let someone else come along and determine your WORTH. A relationship without reciprocity is parasitic. They will draw on you and use you for as long as you let them and get mad at you when you've finally had enough. You have to be what your looking for not only so you can ATTRACT that same energy, but also so you can RECOGNIZE it.

You 2 guys are really great cause you are ying and yang / Black and white and there is always nuance when you talk; Keep the good work

Man bro new subscriber her, The Videos are very helpful! Appreciate the Encouraging words and Helpful outlook on so many certain subjects !! Really man these videos are 💯💯🔥🔥

Wonderful conversation. Really enjoy your podcast.

This was good! Swallowed some pride lol ...been single for almost 2 years and alot is still being uncovered... I'm a silent one who will eventually explode and I have a coparenting relationship and I blew up on my sons father. I had acknowledged my wrong in doing that. It's just hard to deal w a man who doesn't know his value. But I need time lol Thanks guys for doing what God has called u to do. Its life changing.

I think men could demand respect from women especially in relationships, but just like with anyone else its about your approach and tone. If you set boundaries and guidelines for your relationship and your partner respects your wishes, it shouldn't be a problem. I think men don't bother voicing their opinion on it because they don't want to seem "soft." They're brought up to always be strong yet gentle towards women, but just because you can bear it doesn't mean you should.

Chris throwing some truthsss yess!

wow this was tooo good in everyway good job!!!

The message is really coming across like, have high value high character as a man just so you can feel equal with a very beautiful woman, instead of you should have high value high character to attract another like yourself who will be an amazing partner plain, above average, or baddie. I’ve never had conversations with women that I’m inspiring them to be greater as an individual so they can date the most handsome men, the goal is to find high character partner that they have attraction with. Why not find a woman that’s amazing and compliments you based on her character.

It might help you guys to get more perspective from older men and women who are now looking back at their triumphs and mistakes. Hear what they learned along the way that can help younger people now

You two need to stop falling for the outside and begin to look at a woman from the inside out. "Average" is an insult. You can find beauty in "average" and a gal who is good to the core. Grow up.