The Secret to a Calm Life 

I don't think I could ever express properly how much this guy helped me through the last ten years.

As you get older, this becomes almost automatic- all you want is a calm, peaceful day with no drama and just be able to chill and do what you want.

Honestly, I swear this is true, my highest aspiration was just to be chilled out and middle class. I never ever wanted to work in the public eye, not for fear of scrutiny, but because people are generally very unaccepting of how isolating it is. When we were kids, all the “gifted” kids got carted off to a separate school away from our friends, and had all these expectations placed on us without ever asking if we just wanted to go play. I just wanted to be one of the crowd, chumming around with a few good buddies. I never wanted to “rise above”. I just wanted to be normal, and liked for who I am. To be known slowly, intently, and sincerely. I’ve felt like an expendable accessory so often, and it hurts. As if I’m not good enough when average is perfectly fine. As if I’m contemptible because I don’t want to tend to more than I can handle, and that I especially don’t want to tend to a “following”. I like making art because I like it, and stuff like the mundanity of doing the dishes, taking walks with headphones on, seeing the sunset, and cleaning the bathroom. There’s a sense of pride that comes from balancing a household, and I love stuff like that. These sensory enjoyment in it, and even though it’s very personal and frankly selfish… I still think it’s worth something tangible. My own need for quiet still counts, ya know? I truly think it’s harmful that we’re often told it’s shameful to aspire to be average, and quiet, as if a “C” isn’t a passing grade. I actually grew a bit afraid of excellence because while the trophies you get scream excellence, the reception of the behavior is almost as if you’re arrogant, especially if you dare to grow outwardly proud of your achievements that you never set out for in the first place. I like to practice. I like to try new things. I like to be around people. But I also like playing a solo video game with great action or a great story, and watching RU-vid in bed. I’m not harming anyone; not even myself by doing so. I’m glad I’m in my early 30’s realizing this, but man… it’s been a long road. Things like this video help me remember that I’m alright in thinking theee things, and picking the small, sensory enjoyments that build up to a perfectly happy, acceptable life. Thank you reading this, whoever you are, and thanx for sharing, School Of Life! This one hit me perfectly, right at the right time. Thank you.

I’m very grateful for having learnt this at the young age of 27. Going through a lot of chaos in life really forces you to set boundaries and makes it okay to take breaks and enjoy the calm. Especially knowing there’s still storms in life, it’s healthier to enjoy the slow pace until the storm comes. One thing I have learnt is that it is okay to rest, no matter what your friends are doing, no matter what society is telling you to do. REST

Seeing people in the comments say they have a happy simple life is such a interesting perspective to me. Ive always wished that my life was more 'exciting' and that i was always busy. Ive always thought i never want to 'waste' a day but am now realising that a simple, calm day can be a positive thing.

There are so few people in the world that I really, really wish I could know them as friends, Alain de Botton is one of them.

As a 21 year old who prefers to stay in vs go out, and enjoys schedules and a lack of drama this was a nice reminder that the work I’m doing on myself is pushing me in the right direction.

At 67 have been happily retired for over 10 years. Work five days a month, and always have a few other things on the calendar. Never stressed but still happy to see a week with zero plans. The house and yard, going for coffee, I never have a day with nothing to do. Been calm all my life and plan to keep it that way.

I used to think how unhappy single people should be... I couldn't imagine myself without a partner and used to jump from a relashionship to another just to end feeling so disappointed and empty each time, now I have been single for almost a year and I feel better than ever before, I learned more about myself and realized how lost I was, I don't feel in a rush to enter another relationship now I really enjoy being single is very calm, is even better than I ever imagined, calm is all I ever wanted but didn't knew it before.

I love my small quiet life. Bed at 10, up at 5:30. Write some poetry while I have my coffee. I live a calm, lovely life, and sometimes people try to make me feel ashamed for not aspiring to more, for not going out with friends every single weekend, for preferring to go to the public library and take a book home to curl up with, just be left alone to make my art and decorate my room how I like it. But I'm not going to be made to feel ashamed for it. It took me a long time to get here. I had a friend who recently started throwing in my face how much time I have; I guess she resented me because of all the pressure she let people put on her. I cut her off. I'm not letting anyone threaten what I built for myself.

i grew up in an asian household that valued (and still values) titles, status and money, so it’s taken a lot of learning AND unlearning to reach this stage where i value moments of calm and living in the present over hostile relationships, drama and hustle culture. thank you for the sweet video and i love the graphics! ❤

A calm life is one of life’s greatest accomplishments.

I am 19 and I like to be in bed by ten, sleeping before 11. Chronic sleep deprivation sucks and I didn't like feeling exhausted all the time. It took months for my family to accept this new 'lifestyle' but now they're really supportive and even remind me when it's already 9pm that maybe I should go upstairs, get ready.

This comfirms my belief that life is all about living life. Just enjoying daily tasks and simple beauties. Not striving for one supreme thing but rather being content, now. Great video as always!!

I am giving a standing ovation to this video. And the character is beyond adorable.👏👏👏

I've always appreciated my calm life, took a long time to cultivate this lifestyle Edit: Since some of you have asked I guess I'll share. The biggest that's helped is letting myself relax and take breaks. A big part of productivity is taking breaks because otherwise you'll burn yourself out (which has happened many times for me). I also have found that having a light schedule is so much more rewarding than a full one, I discovered that I need a lot of time for myself in order to recharge. Probably one of my biggest philosophies is that slow and steady does win the race so I've adapted my lifestyle to fit that mantra. I still do have goals and dreams but I don’t mind if it takes me longer to achieve them as long as I have my sanity intact. Most of what I have talked about I learned through many years of therapy. This is just what has worked for me which doesn't necessarily mean it'll work for you just so we're clear.

This reminds me of an article I read awhile ago about Buddhism. It was called “In Training to be Nobody Special.” The article was really insightful but just the title alone plays through my head sometimes when I feel myself striving towards unnecessary things, when I feel insecurity, or pressure to be or think a certain way. It’s always so relieving to have that clarifying thought: “wait, I don’t HAVE to think about these things. I don’t HAVE to care about being this way or that way. I can simply be and enjoy my little days.” Another thing that’s been really enlightening for me is the realization that there’s no good reason why we should find ourselves interesting. We know ourselves, our thoughts, our feelings, our past, what else is there to know? What’s the point in dominating conversations with others, talking about ourselves, etc when it’s so much more interesting to instead be interested in people and things outside of ourselves because THAT is actually a mystery. Then it’s easier to stop caring so much about who we are and what we should do.

To attain calmness, it could possibly help if you can occasionally attempt these 3 things: - breathe through nose steadily and fully to provide oxygen to the brain - exercise focus instead of getting attached to idle thoughts. Mainly for overthinking - allow yourself to feel the physical sensation of any emotion you have until it runs it's course *helps to also avoid expectations

Let’s just appreciate this smooth animation

So true! I got that after 40 and still improving on that through my 60s.

Calm contentness is the ultimate achievement in life. I recently went through extreme burnout at work and had to take time off. It was that month of contemplation that made me realise I don't care how much money I have. All I want is to wake-up, watch the sun rise with coffee and pet a dog.

A quiet life is soooo underrated! I'm so tired of running around being 'busy' and 'productive'. Beating myself up for not doing more complicated and impressive things! Screw that!!🎉

It takes great confidence to give up on being special - great quote. Thanks Alain x

The characters are so cute !❤ Beautiful short video as always.

As I get older, the more I appreciate a quiet, simple life surrounded by those i love

I would say my life - touch wood - is pretty calm. The secret was realizing who the toxic people were in my life and cutting them out for good. I didn't say or do anything nasty or make any declarations. I simply stopped talking to them less and less, avoided phone calls until they stopped, rejected invitation until they got the hint. I stopped talking to old 'friends' and a lot of my extended family members because unfortunately they would put me down a lot. Best thing I ever did. Few people call me but I don't care. I'm sleeping better than I have ever done in my entire life.

Thank you for validating that it is okay to want to have a simple life, not the way social media wants us to be. Tbh I disgust the "hustle" and "grind" culture and the way it forces the idea within us, like chill, all I want is to have a sustainable but profitable job, a supportive cast (be it a special someone, a friend, or a supportive family member). I realized, especially Instagram, pressures you to push yourself in the hardest way possible. It might be unrealistic for me to not desire anything materialistic in life but all I want is to buy something (every now and then, not always) that serves its purpose and not to push myself too hard, to give back to my parents, to have a family in the future, and to preserve my small circle until the end. And also, to heal my inner child...

I found peace during the lockdowns when I stopped pursuing love and sex, stopped pandering to other people, stopped hustling, stopped trying to portray an image on social media. I began to appreciate the things that truly matter, such as my family, my home, health, and the hobbies I enjoy. There will be those who look down on me as unambitious and women who find that unappealing, but I don't need their validation and that gives me a profound sense of freedom and contentment.

I think a lot of us can relate to this emotion exactly as it was described. Growing up, I was always fond of being alone and doing creative stuff just for the sake of enjoying them. When I reached 18, things began to change including my perspective on life and success. In other words, what other people say - I believed they were the truth and mine wasn't, that it was all just fantasy or illusion to be "happy and content" on things I enjoy and find meaning on doing (art). Now I'm in my mid-20s, finally realizing there has been nothing wrong with my persona at all - with my likes, interests, and how I spend my day which most people would call "boring" or "mediocre". Society dictates happiness can only be found in this and that, but it's actually subjective. I find the calm I seek when I am alone, doing my own stuff, and being the free child I have always wanted and felt when nobody cared or bothered me. It's not a traumatic experience that needs to be solved by a psychologist or therapy or whatever the internet is showing me daily to let me think there is something wrong with the way I'm living my life in the present. It wasn't a denial phase of someone who wanted to prove themselves to other people either. It's just me being me, enjoying in my rather ordinary, calm, "special in my own eyes" day to day life.

Calm is where my life has led me and it’s bliss.

Yes!! Especially the part about becoming ferocious towards anyone or anything that threatens my calm. 40 years of chaos and suddenly I’m at peace. I love it here so please do not disturb. 😊

This video is surprisingly poignantly relevant. I had the displeasure of spending too much time talking with someone who was caught up in both those scenarios (grandiose fantasies and addicted to seeking out thrilling, unstable emotional connections). Before this I was anchored and grounded. I found pleasure in the calm, and found joy in my everyday life. His twisted mindset starting wearing off on me and I'm glad that I eventually cut ties for good. Lesson learnt, my peace really must be protected.

Inner peace = Calm 😊

Hitting my 30s and I switched into this mindset. I loved the simplicity of enjoying the life I had created. And I feel blessed by the lockdowns because I think they afforded me the time to enjoy the calm and quiet without feeling forced to go out and do things all the time.

Loved watching this video, I thought I was the only one out there that enjoyed ones own company because everyone I know thinks I should get out more and do more. I'm pleased to learn I'm not depressed, I just want a quiet calm life, and I'm not alone there 😅

I agree, having everything sorted out at home is a total thrill.

This voice can calm me down even when I'm in a raging thunderstorm in my mind.. Thank you Alain. I can not put to words the amount of calm you have brought in my life. And kudos to team!!! can we stop to admire this extremely cute animation?! ahh! love the style! 💛💛💛✨

You nailed it. After a long struggle, I too now have it.

Love it. I had to find this early early on in my life because I got ill at 21 and many of the other options just were no longer available. Set me on a 20 year journey of valuing a small, simple life. Now things are starting to pick up and I’m glad I had the lessons of the value of freedom and peace that we can have in many situations if we allow ourselves the grace of space.

Over 10 years ago I moved out of my parent's house and rented an apartment with my then girlfriend. When we broke up I decided I wanted to keep on living by myself. I spent about 4 years getting to know myself so much, from 24 through 29 years old my whole perspective of who I was and what I wanted shifted constantly and it has not stopped to this day. I'm 36 now.

Speaking in a calm way just as you do also helps.

This animation and narration are everything! Good choice of actor, gotta mention.

I think calmness and maturity are somewhat synonymous. Funnily enough, I also tend to achieve more when I just feel content and not striving so hard.

Thank you for validating the way I’ve been feeling for a long time now.❤:)

Exactly. I'm 40 years old and live in the center of beautiful Heidelberg Germany. I inhabit a flat with 2 students, to save money. I can walk to work (ICU nurse), but I have an old used bike for less then 200 bucks. I don't need to travel. Heidelberg is paradise. No car, no kids. I only work part time so I have enough money for my hobbies: Bouldering, Running, Gaming on Sony PlayStation and Nintendo Switch (when our house burns down, I can't lose those games, I own them in the cloud). Life is beautiful nowadays, why would I waste it at work. I only buy cloths when I really need them, mostly cheap. You can eat healthy for 5 bucks a day (coffee included). I consider whole grain pasta to be healthy, but you should have them split up in to maximum 2 meals a day, and with a good amount of healthy plant seed oils (I prefer olive). Other than that I eat nuts and vegetables. Only drink water, coffee, and tea without milk or sugar. If you're vegan have your vit.B12 and a good source of omega-3 fatty acids (like algae oil), maybe vit.D if you're a nightshift worker or not out in the sun much, and you're good. I'm 40 years old, athletic, everyone thinks I'm much younger. Take good care of your bodies folks and enjoy life 💟

CALM is my everything. I made myself go on vacation w/ 2 different friends twice this yr. I literally haf to pretend i was happy so i wouldnt ruin it for them. I walked into my den both times & felt an overwhelming sense of calm.

Fantastic! And it is true that as you get older, especially once you have children, things are put into perspective and all you want is peace!

Beautiful. When he described the life I laughed out loud, that's literally my life. I'm so happy being alone in silence and going out just to buy bread, my fav bread. I always relate to this song by blind melon, "no rain" that goes all I I can say is that my life is pretty plain...

Exactly what I need, thank you for this precious video and precious little cat!

I Live the Quiet Life and I Love it. Peace! \o/

A calm life is how I live. I appreciate it every single day! Thank you for this❤️

I went to college and basically ended up doing nothing with my degree, I work at a grocery store. But, we are unionized, I make enough money, and I genuinely like what I do. I look forward to going into work. There are a few things that I aspire to do, and those things are nice to have to keep yourself entertained, but at the end of the day, there’s nothing I feel a desperate desire for. I am content. I face negative emotions at times, I face positive emotions, but at the core of my being, I am content.

Thank you TSoL as always your videos always on point and relevant, this is exactly where I am now. I had enough to realize that Calm is what I always really wanted.

Always had a calm life, wouldn’t change it for the world. I do like to travel though. That’s my excitement.

It’s been a brutal 5 years and this is so profoundly true. Thanks. ❤

This one video is in a nutshell what this channel has been saying all along. I recall that video from several years go called ‘Why You Don’t need to Be Exceptional’ which pretty much says the same thing. Curbing the ego sets one free.

While I in some ways disagree with this short video, probably just in the scope of its *current* application in *my* life, I do love it. I can see how it could apply to many and perhaps eventually, when I've passed my stage of 'trying different lives', this may be true for me too.

My life in a nutshell. Loved this beautiful, short video. So refreshing amongst a plethora of videos telling me to do better, be better, to push myself. Ugh. Isn’t life difficult enough? I do value calm much more now, which I believe is a gift as we get older.

Like all things, I think calm only works in moderation. Occassionally you need to spice things up a bit, and occassionally you need to quiten things back down again. Too much of anything is rarely ideal.

I love the illustrated video, so delightful and enjoyable.

I am so grateful that I unleashed this myself by having the observant and experienced eye towards life I am going through. Making peace with the ordinariness is giving so much relief after the step is taken.

I love this channel. I'm calmly sitting on my own watching it. Perfect.

This is definitely where I’m at in my life. My issue is whether I want to stay in my current profession, which I find extremely meaningful as I love to share the knowledge I have gained (through experiences and research) with the next generation. Unfortunately, my workspace is very toxic due to complaining colleagues. Complaining is contagious, and I become infected with their negativity after a few months being around them. I have changed schools a number of times and find the similar outcomes. So, I continually ask myself, “do I stay or do I go?”

Thank you. I needed to hear that. And you're right.

At the end of the day, it's an ordinary calm life we all long for.

Im 18 and i feel blessed

I love that you gave life to my favorite emoji. And what a life. CALM life.

Calm is the best thing we can be

Beautifully spoken. Thank you.

It's eerie how the School of Life would release a new video with a message exactly for what I'm currently suffering from.

Thank you, this was just what i needed to see.

This is absolutely perfect timing for me, I love this, will re-watch dailey

😻 Thanks The School of Life.😻

This is the video I needed to see and these are the words I needed to hear. Self-loathing is terrible. Especially when you feel guilty for wanting to stay 'still'. I do not want to go on trips every 3 months. I like my home. I like my space and I do not want to be called boring for that. You can go on your exciting trips and I can be still excited about my space and my bed. Our idea of 'living' differs greatly. I can understand why some people may disagree with this video. But, thanks school of life for showing us this side. The 'normal, boring' side of life that some of us abolsutely adores and is in peace with.

Loving these graphics!

I’m in love with the guys voice ❤

Dr. David Burns (Feeling Good) has often said "To be happy, dare to be average."

I now live a clean, calm and simple life - and I'm happy and grateful! I can appreciate this now because I also had a hard and turbulent life before. I've learnt my lessons...love and peace to everyone ❤🙏🌏🫂

Very short video sums up thousands of words and dozens lf books ! Amazing

These videos are always so timely

What a coincidence! This popped up shortly after I had mentioned to my loved one how wonderful stability is. Boring? I suppose it could be, but I do love it. We may not have a stable life down the road (health issues, accidents, loss of employment...) and will hopefully be able to handle those difficult times with calm. I love this, thank you School of Life. Reassuring and reaffirming.

My parents and the tv steered me wrong! I guess very few of us get great advice (and examples) when we are young, and hence The University of Life ensues. My degree has taken 52 years!

This character and animation are gorgeous, shout out to your artists :)

This cat is incredibly ADORABLE

Thank you so much for this❤

Thank you 🥺💖

Este video es una gran lección para muchos. Gracias.

So wise. And such charming visuals!!!

Oh wow, this is an eye opening message. Just what I need to hear now, after weeks of struggling. Yes, I'm gonna try to do this. Thanks.

Love this channel ❤️

Love your videos ❤

Thank you for this deeply appreciated affirmation!

I really needed this today. Thank You! ❤

I found this channel 4 years ago and I can proudly say that it is one of my greatest discoveries so far. I have now made peace with that abused innocent child and that lonely neglected and often shamed teenager 😌.

Kudos for yet another superb life lesson. Thanks for reminding us what’s most important in our daily lives.

This is where I am now and finally happier than I've ever been! I never thought the day to day "dull" would satisfy me and I do sometimes still wish I could travel again...maybe someday. But for now, my calm and simple comforts are so very wonderful!🥰

This animation is great! I honestly understand any concept better when there is a cat involved.

i'm just lucky enough to be able to know what i really want for this life since my teenage years. it's such a small dream, it's not happiness that i wanted to chase but just calmness and peace. this dream has been living in my head for years, though i still have a long way to go, i hope it'd stay that way. i don't desire fame or wealth and i want to keep it that way. i long for peace because i spend my life worrying about everything and it seems like every effort i do is never enough to make them go away. but at least i knew what i want and knew what i must do to achieve it.

I'm so grateful to have found this channel. ❤️

Love it so much -Thank you♥