Look into “Bowlby’s attachment theory” and attachment styles, think she’s referring to this! It can say a lot about your habits/personality and how it relates to your upbringing and childhood. Helps a lot in trauma recovery and healing.
i heard someone say, confidence is not a feeling before action, but after an action (i swear they phrased it better than this). u dont feel confident before giving that speech in front of a hall full of people, but you will feel confident after you've given it and so the next time you give another speech, you will feel more confident than you did the last time
I agree that your environment plays a huge role in determining your confidence level. I am 26 and all my life, I have been undermined, underestimated, constantly compared to my sister and peers, overpowered, hardly heard or seen. I have been introvert and it took me 14-15 years to realize that I don’t have a fault in me, it’s just I don’t open up with people and have very few friends. I have always been told what to do, what not to do, how to do (sometimes even the simplest things). And it’s not like I have never proven my ability, I have but it usually goes unnoticed when someone superior comes my way. I started developing confidence in my late teens, when I started reading books, had a different friend circle, different teachers. I am still an introvert but with some confidence and still working on it ❤
I think the key to be confidence is to realize to take action as you already knew what you are doing even if you had no idea while not been attach to an outcome or result. But more into engage in the experience in a rogue way ready to break things, smash it, break it! Is a feeling of liberation, but don’t forget to look badass doing it! Is impossible to feel fear when you feel grateful in terms of frequency. As we identify directly ourself physically with our body mostly, to change your image is one of the most important dimension you should be aware. And to use your voice to manipulate the energy in the moment and the way you look with your eyes and the way you walk and stand is mostly the thing that can increase confidence. People don’t care if you are a Mozart in any area, girls just want to have fun!
I think I grew into a healthy degree of self-confidence over many years. I did have a fair amount adversity to overcome when I was young. You could say it was hard won. I did learn a lot along the way.
It would be hard to boil it down to a list of things or a formula. I will say that I have read a lot and this is by no means a comprehensive list, but some takeaways might be: If you have a habit of negative self-talk, you should take steps to correct this. I believe in affirmations. Negative self-talk are negative affirmations, so think about creating positive ones and stop the negative ones. There is a lot of room for creativity in this to address your personal life’s challenges. This is a tough world to live in and there is a lot of subtly negative influences going on. Consider creating your own spiritually sovereign space that commands respect. Don’t let what others say to you or about you define you. You are the master of your own universe. Don’t hang on to past grievances. Learn what you can from those experiences then forgive and move on. Understand and appreciate the gifts and talents that you have to offer to this world. You undoubtedly have them and they can be cultivated and brought into fruition. There are beings in unseen realms that are available to help us on our journey. You literally can ask them for their help and assistance in navigating through challenging times in your life. They can offer help and guidance but cannot interfere with your life’s path, decision making, etc. And of course, listen to people like Lana who are very mature, intelligent and insightful. She is way more than a just pretty face. Hope this helps! @@VoiceoverByIvy
You always give the most genuine and unique advice. I just love that you clearly research your topics well and put a lot of effort into being helpful to your audience. Your elegant style and beautiful visuals are just another bonus. I think this is my favorite channel on here
hahah I seem to be over confident when it comes to the camera whereas when it comes to social situations I used to find myself less confident due to bullying experience from childhood. Really great video! ❤
About parents it is true. My asian parents were really unsupportive, they dont give out praise not at all at anything I did well, but always nag when i dont do thing HOW they WANT - which is sometimes not even the correct way to do it. I suffer heavy low self esteem from both childhood until adult life. Even now when at 35, I sometimes have social anxiety and many of the time thinking im not good enough. But through self love and self work, I can go through life better. Also, acknowledging that our parents did not know who to do it (raise us as a child) do help. Hope I can share this with somebody out there who went through what I did.
for the question you ask about filming stuff to test confidence level, I would say I'd pick the option where I think to myself, this is really something new and there's this potential as the first time I did something, it might not be good or filming the best one she's ever seen and gonna make a lot of mistakes along the way but I do believe I can figure it out and navigate through all those struggles to bring her a nice video. Like I wanna be realistic about my expectation for myself as a beginner at doing something but also I'm not gonna give up and think I can navigate this
You look so sweet! 🥺 😭 😘 Your voice is so soft and your hair is so healthy and voluminous that I can't stop returning to this particular video of yours. I was bullied by school bullies for 13 years. The presence of my younger sister results in conflicts which end up in feeling heartbroken. Family pressures me to get the real job while I don't think this is the only way of making a living. These things really cause me to lose a direction in life and the confidence I try to build. Challenging the beliefs can be helpful. Taking action can be a little bit difficult but it's possible. I agree with you with saying that the confidence grows faster with less fear. The analogy you use with your hand is lovely. I love when you expand your hand because this is a sign of confidence and freedom. The way you say "I got you" is comforting. It gives me reassurance that the people I care the most will not leave me when I choose a different route. Overall, all of the information you provide here is enough to overcome the confidence issues. Thank you for everything Lana. I love you.
I am totally the third person type of confidence, every time I try something new my thought immediately is like: "well I don't know how to do it, but let's give it a try, I will find a way". And usually I really have fun discovering how I figure things out 🥰
hey, ty for this fantastic video and these useful tips! i have low self-esteem, therefore, low confidence in my own actions. its` complicated to talk with people and perform in front of audience, i begin to lose some sounds. I understand that the roots of this problem is in my childhood where all my actions were justified. i want to change all my old patterns
After struggling with imposter syndrome for the main part of my life, I now have a job where people listen to what I have to say - and try to understand me. Not being able to explain myself to others was not helping with my confidence.
Failures can sometimes lead to the false belief that you are inadequate or far from achieving your goals. However, the reality might be that you simply didn't fully commit or invest enough effort in the right direction. Never allow yourself to believe that you are not capable or not good enough.
If Lana asks me to help her with filming, I thought about it and immediately felt that I would be bad at it and she would think low of me, incapable of handling unfamiliar situations nd being stupid and all that. So the point is that I care a lot about people’s thoughts about me and I don’t want to disappoint them so I won’t participate in anything otherwise they gonna know how much I suck, and also it would add to my list of “things I can’t do”.
The most important thing she had said on this video is there is a sucess in tasks and success in relationships so there several types of success in our lives and we have to differentiate well between them.
In your test scenario, I would just think "If she asked me to film a video, it means she believes in me. I trust her judgement so I'll go for it and we'll see". So in a way, I'm not self-confident, I rely on the confidence others put in me. If a developer think I'm fit for a task with him, I'll trust him and try, but by myself, I won't think I can do it but simply that I'll try and that's good enough
I have very low confidence. I usually back away. It's very annoying, cause I avoid things that would be beneficial for my well-being. I will take your advice to gain more confidence! Thank you so much, Lana.💜
I would definetly pick the 3rd one, even knowing that will be a complete umconfortable feeling, somehow will learn something from it ! Interesting video, thank u= vídeo interessante, obrigada ^.^
Wow can't believe I make it through the whole video.. and I lack confidence a bit and try my best to be and unconditional supporter.. although am working on a faithful approach..
i would pick the option B because i usually can't imagine the amount of hard work and failure i will have to deal with and it can be a very delusional way of confidence
In terms of confidence I'm going to choose 3, that's what I feel 90% of times when I'm doing something for the first time except when I'm feeling really low or really awesome then I could probably go with 1 or 2
A person will never gain confidence taking on completely small or superficial challenges. Also, everybody has limits 'socially' in terms of confidence based on their own natural position relative to the pack. Life has more to do with being comfortable with responsibility. Whether that's being responsible for other beings, managing your finances or taking on the responsibility of 'doing what you must do' to get ahead or survive. If you have to 'search' for responsibility in life, you're probably doing it all wrong. Definitely don't spend your life trying to show off or strut your stuff, that's for sure. Exploration is good for our soul, but avoiding true responsibility like working hard when we're younger or not learning to manage other people (employees, children or dogs (plural)) only makes our life more stressful as we grow older. Owning a home and trying to figure out how to pay for it or how to saw through half a fallen tree in your garden and get rid of it will do much more for your confidence than anything contrived. Also, living with someone (where you both have an ownership interest in the property) and being under duress for normal things will also put you in a position to build confidence naturally.
Science suggests low self-confidence stems from childhood experiences, societal pressures, and self-limiting beliefs. Confidence builds through action and support from relationships.
5:56 That's my case. My parents always beat me up, call me dumb, stupid, they even said I should be in an institution once, they don't support me in things that I like and things like that. Because of mostly them I think that I'm ugly, stupid and all those bad things they say to me but I'm tired of this so I want to change
If Lana asked me to help her film part of her video I think deep down I’d think that there’s no way I could help since I know nothing about shooting footage, but I’d probably ask what she needs and try to help as much as I can since u like Lana and would want to be helpful
Bonne vidéo ! Personnellement, je conseille le livre "CONFIANCE EN SOI, ESTIME DE SOI", de Nathan Stone. Y a tout ce qu'il faut savoir, c'est clair, pas de discours superflu, le top. Je connais beaucoup de personnes de qui ça a changé la vie !
For me my confidence it depends on my outfit if i wear something im not comfortable on it i will spend all day trying to escape from the world and i will hate myself i care so much about my look when someone is laughing i will think they are laughing at me 😣
I'm sorry i'm late to watch your video...but when i look your vlog i get suprised that you looks so wonderful and Angelic beautiful...love you full & always from Bali, Indonesia ❤❤❤❤
8:21 Your example of "running the shortest marathon you can find" made me smile. A marathon is always a marathon is always 42,2 km. No matter where you run. There are no "shorter" marathons. Only the altitude can be different. I know because I ran my first marathon 1 week ago. ;)
you cant afford me to film a video for you Lana. BTW. my confidence level surpasses the level of Caligula. i am the one and the only one thats the thing that goes in my Caligula brain.
