TO ALL WOMEN WITH MY CONDITION: I LOVE YOU, YOU ARE SEEN. YOU ARE VALUABLE. I SUPPORT YOU. I CARE FOR YOU. Much love to the sisters on the spectrum, this is FOR YOU and by one of your sis! Cheers to our healing and to the best version of ourselves :)
"I take care of myself, and I do things for myself, but I realize that I'm not fully capable. And that really sucks" hit me so hard. And then you follow it up with it always feels like there's a glass panel separating you from really getting close to other people. I'm not diagnosed, but I can definitely relate. I struggled a lot in my youth, and struggle a lot still that I'm older, but I think I have better tools to deal with things now. Work is tough. At least in my field (engineering), being good at the job can go a long way, but I'm constantly pushed to do things that require more social skills the further in my career I go, like leading teams or meeting with customers. I constantly feel I'm on the verge of just not being able to mask anymore and shutting down.
This sounds like a tough situation, just know that you are always valuable masked or not! I'm happy that this video touched you in some way, I'm wishing you the best for what is to come, thank you for sharing :)
The last thing: “shutting down”. Recognizable, I have to rest when I past my point of the feasible. Not always, it depends on my daily routine or activity.
I’m also autistic and found this very relatable. I feel like we’re the same person. I also was overlooked, because I’m so good at school. It’s good to know I’m not alone.
@@miimracleDudette I have ADHD and autism on top of that but I'm getting help with my therapist so you shouldn't feel so bad or embarrassed about being autistic
Me too, exactly! No one was worried about me, because I was good at elementary school, and people decided I was a behavior problem when I couldn’t handle the social environment of junior high at all, so I didn’t keep going. They thought I must be into something bad. My mom thought I was crazy, or just too much. Others acted like I thought the rules didn’t apply to me. Actually, I didn’t know what these social rules were, what was expected, or how I was supposed to handle going about these expected daily activities, in such a jarring and hostile environment as junior high. There’s a myth that junior high is the most difficult social environment. Everything changes, at the same time a child’s body and brain are rapidly developing and changing. Still, I think school gets harder, socially, the further you go in school. I wasn’t able to go straight to college, for physical health and other reasons. When I did go, I did very well until the major classes, when there is a lot you have to arrange with professors and articulate to them. I didn’t realize there were major clubs that were, actually, pretty much mandatory, or how you were supposed to contact professors and arrange so many aspects of your program with them, or specifically how you are supposed to behave, in doing so. That gets much more difficult, as you go along to a Master’s program and/or PhD, at least for me, because the further you go the less people tell you about how to access the system and what the social expectations are. What it boils down to is you’re just supposed to hang around, socially, and figure it out. Both being autistic and having physical disabilities, it’s difficult for me to hang around. I probably should have been born a little later, when used-friendly online school is available. I, actually, don’t know if they’re user friendly, or not. Maybe you have to guess what you’re supposed to say, in writing, without even context cues and facial expressions to go from. I usually do better with writing than spontaneous social interaction, though.
@@sciencenotsrigma Wow!!! That sounds like a lot, I truly hope you'll find a way to make this all work and I wish you the best because YOU DESERVE IT!!! Much love!
I'm 24 years old man being diagnosed recently with autism. Struggling whole life with my mental health. I don't have job. I find this video relatable. Thank you 😀
HELLO EVERYONE!!! PLEASE READ THIS COMMENT! :) So... I didn't think my video would blow up like... at all. This was just a random video I filmed in the morning right out of bed to express myself and here we are! This video isn't meant to reflect all the complex experiences of the autistic community but simply mine! Thank you all for your support and kindness, let me do a quick presentation for all the new people coming on here; I'm Mimi, I'm a young 20 something living in Canada and I love to express myself, I've always been creative and always knew I wanted to share with the world whatever I felt like sharing!! I made this RU-vid channel for myself but also in hopes it would reach people similar to me; this is why I talk from my heart or make advice videos and such... I've tried to build this channel for awhile and I highly recommend you check it out!! I also make a bunch of spiritual content and other little projects! You may check out my links here: linktr.ee/miimracle :) I'm a neurodivergent girl, living with my cats, I love nature and art and I'm a Leo!!! Hope this helps giving more context to everything and this little pearl of a video that randomly decided to be blessed by the almighty algorithm!!
I never learned how to mask, so everybody around me thinks I'm very strange and quite weird and difficult to read and awkward to talk to :) But on the other hand because I have no filter, I'm brutally honest about everything and that gets me a lot of respect as well, so it goes both ways. You are very adorable and beautiful and don't be scared to be your lovely little alien self ^^
If it's not too personal to ask, what aspects to yourself and your personality do you feel are offputting to others when you're not masking? Are you masking when recording this video or is this more your natural self? Only asking because you come across very sweet and personable in the video so while I do understand and believe that you've had a lot of trouble in your relationships with others, it's also hard to understand why without it explained more.
It is a rough lot. All the world is a stage, but I've gotten too old and tired to act well. I too would qualify as "highly functioning" but it is exhausting. Thanks for expressing yourself. You seem likeable to me, but I like autistic folks as they seem more true, authentic, and honest.
Thank you so much!! I like the metaphor of the stage, I used to say that a LOT!! Now I joke that my life is a movie and I am writing the script hihih :'))
I think people forget that we who are on the spectrum are all different. We are born in different countries, have different cultures and childhoods. We have different genes and different life experiences. Even though we all have the same condition, these factors make autism look very different from person to person. I got my diagnosis at 27, and it is still so difficult because I know people wouldn't believe me if I told them i'm autistic. Sometimes I don't even believe myself until I have a meltdown or end up in a social conflict. We truly need videos like this, so thank you for sharing your experience ❤
High-functioning autistic, and this one just hit hard on so many points. Every day is different, every day is a struggle, all we can do is take things one day at a time.
I was diagnosed just last week. I started by telling one friend and I didn’t like her react. She basically implied that I can’t have it, which was the point of needing to mention it. It’s quite overwhelming. I also just got an internship and I’m get overwhelmed having to communicate from 8-5. I just hate it. But finding this video was sooo warm! I hope you make more like this
You are a real person, not like most of people who plays to be something than they are not. The world it's a very heavy place and its hard, its really hard sometimes. But when i see a video where is a person like you i feel like somebody understand me, you are not alone in the struggle. The world is full of fake people and thats when the genuine people like you put some light in the darkness. You seem very nice person and be always yourself, always be true to yourself, no matter what. You are amazing and thanks for the video.
16:00 YES! Again! Autism is a gift if framed and embraced as you’re describing here! “Most people don’t know or dare…” To do what they love. Autistic people don’t have a choice. What we love chooses US. If we can’t do it, we slowly suffocate. Do what you love as much as you’re able. This is the only way for autistic people to find peace. It’s where we’re able to make our best connection to others, and to contribute most to the larger communities we find ourselves in. Autism is love.
Hello from Thailand. I'm high masking and got confirmed that I'm autistic at 34 + highly suspect ADHD now I'm almost 37, I relate to you in many points but really strong in the social trauma and have shown academic prowess throughout the years, then the mask crashed heavily in the employment and relationship sides. Without going into a lot of detailed infodump, I've been feeling capable and incapable at the same time. It gets better when I've learned my autistic traits/ fighting for accommodations, and then there will be room for the special skills AFTER meltdown/overload prevention is respected.
I'm happy to hear you're on a journey to discover yourself, your needs and more :) Know that it's a good thing to learn about yourself and it's important to be kind, many blessings to you!!
I’m 34, did you find it beneficial getting a diagnosis at this age? I don’t really care to have a paper stating if I’m autistic or not, I don’t need to prove anything. So I wonder if there are any benefits
@@KarlaEmmerson Only get it if you really need it and if it's in the affordable range. Some workplaces might need it and some governments give more assistance than cut down your rights. For me I plan to be involved in autism research and do volunteer work with higher support needs so I chose to get tested in others too like executive function and other cognitive strengths/ challenges so a formal assessment would be a great help for these purposes.
Not sure how this showed up on my recommended, but I'm grateful for it! This was very heart-warming to watch, and instilled a lot of hope in me. Not because I'm autistic, but, someone with your mentality are the type of people I've longed to have in my life. I'm much the same way, empathetic to a fault, and its nice to know that people think and feel the way about things in the world in a lot of the same ways I do. So thank you for sharing. Its really appreciated, and so are you!
I'm currently going through getting my official diagnosis as an adult after decades of struggling. I just wanted to say you communicate your experiences very eloquently. Everything you spoke of felt so relatable. I hope you make more videos in the future on this subject.
I totally will, thanks a lot for the kind compliment! It took time but I learned how to communicate in a better way that also feels natural! Wishing you luck and a lot of blessings xx
Oh dear, I'm happy that this video reached you; know you aren't alone, you're valid and life goes through cycles in my opinion, wishing you better days ahead! xx
@@darbydelane4588 So sorry for your struggles. At least now you have some sort of explanation that can maybe help you to move forward. I've found the diagnosis helpful. It's allowed me to understand. myself more, and reevaluate my life in a different light - I can be much kinder to myself. Living with no understanding of why you struggle as much as you do, for the majority of your life is very hard. Let's hope that a greater awareness of autism means future generations don't have to go through that. All the best to you.
I am 58 yrs old. Diagnosed ADHD. Self diagnosed as autistic 8 months ago after more than a year learning about the condition. I certainly watched the whole video. I hope to see many more. I am too shy to be on video and I so appreciate those like yourself who share and educate. So glad I did because the first two thirds was very relatable but your discussion with regard to the rare, deep view we get of the world, is expressed so beautifully. I cannot express it like you but It does feel like having ones own special adventure in life and I think it is the greatest gift we are given. As much as this is good I find the fact it is so hard to share it with others. To be understood from our unique perspective. This stifles our abilities in society. It feels like we need much longer to be understood and allistic people don't have the time for this. I want to scream and say "look under the surface" but they are also just rushing about, doing their job, being themselves too busy to stop. I am glad you are finding positives in the negatives. This is so important. I have been very lucky with my life. I express it this way because yes I have had struggles. And no, I am not some great success. Whether as a small child, school, working and all types of relationships it has been obvious I am different. I retired in 2022 after 34 yrs as a computer programmer. I have the most wonderful wife of 28 years and 2 great kids just older than you. So I cannot complain at all in terms of my good fortune. I do view it as good fortune though, not success. In fact I have come to feel success is based too closely to pride and I don't like seeing this in myself. I like the words contentment and fulfillment. Like having enough. It fits much better with our gift of exploring our minds. Being overjoyed at what ones own mind provides for one to see or understand. I wish this is what everyone could strive for and achieve. Enough money and enough love and that we allow ourselves to value what our mind shows us. Not measure our mind in our abilities in terms of goals, money and possessions like society wants us to do. Lastly, I am writing this barely imagining a tiny bit of your experience and only partially understanding mine. I know many people, especially autists but others too, do not have the privilege of some contentment and fulfilment. I hope everyone can find the way to a slightly lighter place but please even if things are difficult, keep trying. Nobody attaches enough importance to trying. Isn't trying winning? Winning another day or opportunity. Life is tough. Wish you never experienced the trauma but also appreciate how incredible you are when you examine your mental scars. Know that what you have done is despite what has hurt you, broken you and exhausted you. Try love yourself and try judge yourself fairly. Not against others but in terms of the true success of your story.
Thanks a lot for your beautiful, rich and deep comment, I have read all of it and it moved me, it touched me... I appreciate the beauty of your words and your second paragraph moved me as I tend to think this way too, I consider myself blessed as well as I am surrounded by love either from my cats, friends or even amazing strangers such as yourself!! Thank you for reaching out in such a truthful manner, and not to worry I will keep posting!! I am found a way to honor myself and my creativity, matter of fact I just posted a video on this very topic hahaha!!! Thank you for encouraging me on my journey, it means a lot to me :)
I see myself in you ❤ I am much older, with a family, and for me having my partner and my daughter be neurodivergent too has been really important to help deal with the loneliness and difficulty keeping a job that you describe. I still experience a lot of loneliness, because I just have my little family, and I still can't keep a job but I am a stay at home parent. I still view this as taking care of myself, I homeschool, do chores, and help 'manage' the home. I guess what I am saying is that we move through life in our own way, maybe not what society expects, but that's our strength too. I think you are so right about your strengths, and how hard it is. Bonne chance!
WOW!! it sounds like you are so strong, i'm so happy to hear your story i admire this take a lot!! thank you for sharing and yes you are so right, we do things in our own way and i think that's okay! thank you for supporting me and thanks for your kindness
Me too, concerning the loneliness, but I have a neurotypical husband. We have three children and homeschool. I often feel like I'm not doing enough, because I also have chronic fatigue. But, as far as autism is concerned, I have a great setup for myself and my possibly neurodivergent children. My ADHD is giving me some troubles right now (executive function issues) but I will never stop improving and never stop healing. ❤️
Around 14:00-17:00 That's so true! Depth of heart, mind and character or something. I'm not sure how to describe it but I feel like my existence is very solid or saturated even if my life is small. Being a mere spectator feels very meaningful.
In another life we might have been sisters, I relate to everything you said so heavily. I’m also 21 (from the uk) and neurodivergent (diagnosed adhd, I get my asd assessment results tomorrow but I have strong autistic traits). I share your struggles and haven’t found resolution to them yet, but it is so comforting, rare and beautiful to feel alike to someone. Personally I find a strange comfort in my depth of feeling, I cannot ignore my feelings as so many others do. This is difficult a lot of the time, but I feel it forces me to be authentic and to live in alignment which I value very strongly and I’m not sure I would do if I had the choice to take the easy way. Also, grocery stores are the devil, i usually end up grabbing what I can as quickly as possible before I melt/shut down and checking out asap - leads to some pretty unusual combinations of foods! Thank you for having the courage to share this, vulnerability is strength and it seems you’ve brought a lot of comfort and made a lot of people feel seen with your video.
I feel the same, my sensitivity is a gift that I had to work with, I am not ashamed of my deep feelings!! I love your message :) I feel the same about grocery stores lol, I usually go with a friend and with earbuds when it's not too busy loool, thank you for your kind comment it is so sweet and lovely!! Love you so much and thanks for supporting me and being here, know that it does matter a LOT!! Much love to you my beautiful UK sister! ;) xx
I'm not sure why anyone wouldn't watch to the end of this video. Raw and vulnerable discussions like this are rare these days (at least in much of my experience) and it's refreshing to hear somebody be so open and honest. You also have a very charming way of presenting yourself that leads me to believe you have more self-acceptance than you might imagine. Thanks for sharing. Be yourself, there are people who appreciate it 🙏
Thank you so much I do appreciate it sooo much!! Thank you for listening, I love making raw videos, I am glad that others enjoy it as well!! Wishing you the best :)
Thank you for sharing, I really connected with everything you said here. I’m 46, male, and very recently discovered that I’m probably autistic. This video really helped me to not feel so bloody alone. I especially appreciated your insights about embracing being an outsider and appreciating the rather unique perspective that looking in from the outside gives you about things. I also agreed very much with your previous burned out rant post. I’m not a fan of the way the world works these days, I just wish there were a viable alternative. Thanks so much for this video, I hope you do more like it!
this can be quite a discovery but be reassured that you are always great no matter what!! thank you for being curious about more of my work and for reaching out, i appreciate it so much! :)) i believe that we can surely change the way things are by embracing what is true such as authenticity and community! hope this gives you a bit of comfort and know that you aren't alone!
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve been saying for years the same thing you did - that no matter how much I try, it’s like there’s a glass veil between myself and others. Also relate so much to the feelings of being so frustrated with yourself. It’s so difficult to navigate. Just Thank you.
Ouhh this means so much to me!! I didn't even think this video would reach anyone, I'm so glad you watched it entirely! Thank you for being here, it's heartwarming to hear :)
yeah I always feel like I can hardly ever trust someone, especially when lot of people still think I am just making things up and just need to "Do better", they cant understand that yes I am a man who is very sensitive and easily overwhelmed with social interactions, lot of times I felt like I am wrong because a man cant have so much anxiety. Then I realized that yes I might be different, but that doesnt justify the fact that the people who had this harsh judgement against me are just ass people in general. why would I even listen to them right? autistic people are usually very self-aware and self-conscious, we grow up to have a good sense of who is mistreating us. But the trauma we went through makes it even harder to connect
@@liltunturi1251 Feelings are valid regardless of gender or identity cultural background etc etc cuz we're human, we FEEL, we are sensitive, and that's OKAY! :) Wishing you a lot of blessings!
I'm schizoid and feel like I'm on the spectrum, probably asperger. I relate. It's difficult but you can deal with it. You seem like a good person. Je suis québécois moi aussi.
Masking self and avoiding social interactions. It’s been a confusing ride through life for me living this way. Just working on the “being myself” thing this year finally. A good start is putting yourself out there authentically, even if it’s just through RU-vid right now.
One thing I’ll sometimes say when having difficulty finding/using my words is “English (or whatever native tongue is relevant here) is itself a translation layer between brain and mouth”, and a *lot* of people can’t even process that.
Thank-you for making this. It hits so hard, especially the glass pane. It's like everyone else knows how to behave appropriately and just can't understand how I don't know. I don't feel like my life would have been better were I not AuDHD, but it'd be nice to have more AuDHD friends. My friends are unusual, but sub-clinical. I have my all my fingers and toes crossed for you that you can find some atypical friends! ♥
i already have amazing friends, don't worry about me! i was blessed with great souls on my path!! thank you for listening to my video, it means a lot to me! :)
I feel like you just described my life experience. I am 45 and realised I am autistic this year. Always feeling like an outsider even with family is so true for me. I find life so much more challenging than I let anyone see but somehow I get by. I like the way my brain works until I have to try and make it work the way society requires, then it is a struggle. Thank you for sharing
Extremely relatable. I'm a 35 year old woman and have not tried to be diagnosed yet, but am very confident that I am on the spectrum. It's nice to hear from someone with similar challenges in life. ❤
I am 30 and getting my daughter officially diagnosed-she is with ADHD, but I still suspect autism also. And me, I will be officially diagnosed after her but I have AUDHD(Autism/ADHD) also. Because we are "high-functioning", some don't believe us but we will continue to search and will find a place that does.
@DeborahAnnsuperversatile High functioning girls often get overlooked and slip through the cracks, which is really unfortunate and needs to change. I'm glad you're pushing to get diagnosed correctly for yourself and your daughter. I hope to do the same soon. 💛
Please remember: there are people out there that are able to appreciate your true self. 😊 I have been dating autistic woman for more then a decade and I love them for how they are. You are also like that. Sensitive and unique! ❤
the worst feeling of loneliness in autism arises when you go out with friends drinking etc and although you are together in group and even with friends that you genuinly like and they like you but due to the things theyare talking about other people with different intrests and in general group dynamic you just feel alone. I can't explain it. In a room with alot of people in public spaces i feel like a lesser person or something. And yet i am able to meet new people, but they never become friends they are just there kinda. The actual friends i have is a friend group from when i was younger and most other friends were friends of those.
I get what you mean, it can be a lonely and discouraging feeling indeed... When I experience this, usually I gather up my courage to talk about it to one or two friends I genuinely trust just to be like ''Hey guys, I like hanging out with you but sometimes I feel kind of excluded!!'', and if they are good friends they will totally get it and do their best to include me in the future! Wishing you the best, thanks a lot for supporting me and sharing your comment xx
I appreciate your authenticity. Hearing voices of people who shared my experience makes it feel less alone. I have fortunately freed myself from self-medicating with alcohol and started proper medication (ADHD as well), so my life is moving towards good. The difficulties we have are really hard to share with people, but those of us that feel the same can know (almost) exactly what you felt through life. I love thinking and pondering on philosophies as well. Thank you for the video. ❤
Thank you for the video. It was beneficial for me and others like me as we navigate our journey. I appreciate your clear communication. I can't help but think about how challenging it must have been for people in the past who didn't have the support or community that we do. im grateful 😅
Glad it was helpful! So true, it must have been very difficult, and still to this day there are still a lot of challenges but I believe we are slowly changing the world :)
I love this, autistic women sharing their experiences. I was diagnosed at 19, three years ago and I’m grateful for that but still all the years before were very hard, and the years coming don’t seem to get easier. But these kind of videos and comments cheer me up a lot. I even feel like making my own videos in hopes of cheering others who encounter them. Just being able to relate to all these experiences has gotten me out of some really bad moments. Thank you for taking the time to make this videos
Ouhh so interesting! I am always an advocate for expressing yourself, so if you feel inspired to speak your truth I think you should give it a try!! Much love to you and I'm happy this video found you xx
I think you definitely touched base on a lot of things that people like us experience. Clearly we each have our own experience but the sense of safety in community and understanding is very nice to share. Clearly lots of people watched this video and I'm certain that it resonated with so many. Thank you for sharing your perspective from such a true, unscripted point of view. It is appreciated!
Thank you so much for being vulnerable and authentic. I was just recently diagnosed at 45 and have struggled all my life. I'm also very high masking and that brings its own set of unique challenges as you've described so beautifully. Thank you! ❤
i can relate so much to you. I enjoyed the whole video. I think finding what your strengts are and what you enjoy doing is good things to focus on . that helped me feel better about myself. And accept myself. Its awesome you shared your thoughts.
Thank you for this incredibly relatable video. I'm a 42 year old woman, just diagnosed with ADHD and Autism last year. Everything you said is a reflection of my experiences. I'm grateful for you putting yourself out there so many of us can feel less alone in the struggles we face.
This. Learning to be authentic and true to oneself at a very young age is something a lot of autistic people need to get by. But it proves to be a strong long term asset.
@@miimracle I first thought when looking at how neurotypical people proceed that it was crucial to lie, present a false image, to survive. I quickly figured out that I was so bad at this that it was better to just be myself and accept even when it got in my way. It's way more simple to be true to oneself even if you have to pay for it sometimes.
Thanks for your video, I struggled with mental health a lot of the time, and my doctors explanation helped me to gradually forgive myself for not being easy going, and I don't hate myself so much for my problems with socialising. I often find it hard, but sharing experiences like yours really make me feel like i'm not alone. Have a nice day you all : )
You ain't alone my friend! This is very valid! I'm sure your healing journey is maybe a lot to reflect on and to learn but what matters is that forgiveness is the right move, love yourself deeply because you are one in a billion and you deserve to inhabit a body and mind full of compassion! Wishing you the best, have a nice day as well xx
Aw I wish I was your friend, because all of this completely resonated with me and it can be really hard, especially when people downplay the struggle all the time. I wish you all the best, you seem so sweet❤
Thank you so very much, appreciate it a whole lot!! Your kindness is not unnoticed, much love to you and I am so grateful for your lovely support! Have a wonderful day, hope you'll enjoy my channel friend :)
I listened to every word. I related deeply to every word. Thank you for sharing this. I have the same combo you do. You explained so closely what my experience has been like. I was in tears listening to you. Bc I know. Much love to you. ❤️🩹✨💫
Thanks for sharing, I'm so touched!! I am so happy to know this video and my words have resonated with your heart, wishing you sooo many beautiful and amazing things, the best of the best!! Thanks a lot, much love to you too xx
I watched the entire video (I don't have an autism diagnosis but I do have ADHD) Thank you for making it. You sound like such a beautiful, lovely and genuine person (I hope you realize it too!♡)
AWW thank you so much, I also have adhd + autism lol so I totally get it!!! Thanks for listening, to me being heard and understood and even resonating with others was what really mattered too! Much love to you, wishing you a lot of blessings, you're so sweet! :)
Thank you for being so open about your experience and your struggles. If I may comment something about friendships? I don't think those people, or you, are bad people, but maybe you are not the right fit for each other. When you are making these friends while you are masking, that is how they know you, that is how they think you truly are. So when you then unmask, it might come to a surprise to them! They might feel confused as to why you seem to be a different person now. And sometimes that hurts their feelings as well, or it might even make them sad. Or it makes them feel like you were not being honest with them. We know that was never your intention, it was just your way of trying to cope.. I think it's not because they want to hurt you with their reaction, just like you didn't mean to hurt them.. I hope you can tell from all the positive reactions here, that there are a lot of people out there who can relate to you, and who like you. So hopefully you can find some people around you that you can be yourself with, so that you don't have to mask. Anyway, thank you for sharing!
Great video Mimi! I am not autistic, but i like to expand my knowledge on this condition. Wish you all the best, enjoy life and be strong. Cheers from NYC.
Hello Mimi, I relate and can attest to the way you feel and have felt throughout your life. I'm a 20 year old man, who was diagnosed with autism and ADHD when I was around 7 or 8. I watched your entire video and I'm glad I did, it feels nice to listen to a person who thinks similarly. My whole life feels like a charade, especially ever since I have been conscious of my autism. I sometimes, especially late at night ponder about my existence and who I really am, cause frankly I'm not sure. I think, being able to think so deeply about oneself, is heavily tied to people on the autism spectrum and although I am grateful to be able to have the capability of deep thought. I am often times at internal conflict about the emotions I feel in spite of it. I feel like I'm a spectator in a long and drawn out movie about my experience of the world and whilst I enjoy it at times, I can't help but feel like I don't have control over it as much as I'd like. Like my life is a save file that gets taken over by a saboteur whilst I go to sleep at night, completely intent on minimizing the progress I've made thus far. 3 steps forward 2 steps back. Life and our existence is incredibly complex and convoluted and our experiences inside of this weird coincidence of matter being confounded in this place and time doesn't make much sense, neither for neurotypical nor neurodivergent people, but videos like these and gaining knowledge and insight into how other living beings interact with the world helps make it all make a little bit more sense to me. Thanks for sharing your insight and some of your experiences, I'm looking forward to listening to your talks, I hope that wherever you end up in life, that you are content. :)
Thanks for your beautiful comment, I love your way of thinking about all this, I think I relate a lot to the deep thoughts part! I'm glad this resonates with you, wishing you the best and many thank yous for being here & supporting me :)
I watched the whole video as it was very interesting. I have a 10 year old daughter who is very sensitive to certain stimulus but hasn't been diagnosed with autism. My main worry is what will happen to her when I am gone, how will she be able to care for herself, find a job, keep that job, have a social life, have friends, have a safe relationship and mostly how will she be able to enjoy life in a brutal society. I often ask myself, why am I raising a good person in a bad world? Why am I sending a sheep among the wolves? I was very touched by you speech. Thank you.
Hello my dear friend, your worries are valid and thank you for sharing these vulnerable thoughts. I am very young and do not have a child under my guard, but I am deeply connected to my own inner child, I will attempt to reassure you with my words and it is okay if they don't resonate; to me, I see the world changing, evolving, people are discovering people, in a certain way... I feel like as a society we talk more and more about minorities, equality, we care about our future, our people, our well-being, we care about each other even from different continents! I know our world isn't perfect and there is still a lot of suffering and corruption, but I think your beautiful daughter is heading into the right direction, people who are ''different'' are more and more valued and listened to, we are more educated and concerned about creating a safe space! The best you can do is teach her to love herself so deeply that she will always do what is best, even if it's hard, to value her wonderful self and listen to her heart! Being sensitive is such a super power, what I have learned is that it is understand to understand our limits and our advantages as sensitive people! You're an amazing soul, wishing you the best to you and your family, thanks so much for being here xxxx
@@miimracle Thank you so much for taking the time to offer your perspective. You are a wise young person and your words are somewhat healing to my troubled mind. I see your point, I value your optimism. It is probably my 47 years of life experience that are holding me back. Yes, that is what I try each day: to teach her to love herself more, to believe in her abilities. It is hard to keep the balance. I truly thank you for your wise words. I will keep them in my mind. I too wish you all the best.
I'm 29 but got my diagnose of autism and ADHD at 20. I sometimes still have trouble accepting it even thought I know I have no choice. I didn't let people in for over 10 years, I had no friends and only now at 29 Im trying to get over my fears. Been talking too people n met one now, just being myself. Not masking anymore, like at school. I loved this video, I have many of the same struggles you have/had. I locked myself inside for years cause of fear of people since they treated me awfully before. My therapists called me lazy, oversensitive, n didn't see I was autistic for 7 years. This is my first vid I found of you, but im subbing. Much love
Aww bestie it's ok to feel fear but remember to live your life for yourself, I understand your experience! Wishing you a lot of healing and beauty! Thanks for supporting me, means a lot! :)
I watched all the way through.. and thank you! My daughter is exactly like you. School is so stressful for her, she says she feels invisible and has stomach aches, now she’s home schooled. It’s hard I’m just like her as her.. I hated school!
I wish our schools were more adaptable for all sorts of learning but I totally get it, much love to you and your amazing daughter! thanks for listening
I’m glad I went to school in the 1990s instead of today but it was still hard back then due to being bullied and ostracized as a young kid and teenager without many friends.
Terrific video Mimi👌😊. Found I related to a lot of your masking in the work place discussion and the exhaustion it causes. Having Bipolar type 2, borderline ADHD and my psychologist believeing I definitely have Autistic traits too, it resonated with me a lot feeling like the odd one out at work at times and not fitting in with the neurotypicals 👽. I definitely put on that performance sometimes and be the charismatic guy but I can't maintain it consistently. And I think unfortunately people find that confusing 🤔.
Sorry to hear it! I get how tired you may feel but know that I believe you're still great and valuable even without the mask! Glad you enjoyed it, thanks for supporting me it means a lot :)
Hi! I really appreciate your honest and authentic presentation. About autistic people looking at the world from a deeper, unique way - this is true! For this reason we have so much to give to the world! But we need people to listen. At least you found your way of sharing and giving to others. Good luck with your chanel 😊
Wow… 2:47 “it doesn’t work” This is exactly my experience. I’m 59, and have experienced the exact same thing. Isolation and rejection no matter what I tried or how hard I worked at fitting in. Then, when I was diagnosed, I shared it with my few (so called) friends and lost several because I wasn’t masking my autism as much. Your channel’s intro is beautiful. I love the poster on wall behind you. You are right about the anxiety. It’s not disordered. The social world threatens us. I hope you’re able to find other autistic people as friends.
I'm so sorry to hear about your friends behaving this way, know that you are worthy of love and support regardless! Thanks for your beautiful comment and noticing my intro, I tried to make it interesting!! Much love to you xx
Thankyou for sharing your story, i never realized you could have both ADHD and. ASD. Currently waiting for an assessment on both but will take a few years, long waiting list. Ive felt similar experiences to yourself, i often felt like the odd one out with family, friends andd intimate relationships. Ive learnt to not try and mask everything at least to my closest and dearest. But i feel like i wear different masks each day, it can be exausting to try and fit into whats expected of you and how you should be to make others more comfortable. Ive learnt writing is my voice now, i may not be able to do many jobs but writing has set me free. Im writing my first book in a series, i think that is down to the gifts of these illnessess. I wouldant probably write without them. ADHD and ASD like many other disorders are actully our own identitys and with them brings gifts that many people dream to do. You are unique and have a beutiful soul, your hidden talents come through your teaching and experience. There is no way i could do a video like this, very brave just to have people seeing you. xx
Wow, I love your comment!! Thank you so much for your support, kindness and honesty, know that it touches me and matters a whole lot more than you could even imagine!! I write too, it was always a major part of who I am, I even tried to study in literature! I'm so happy to hear you want to write books, that's amazing!! I wish you the best of luck and one tiny little piece of advice is be patient, be kind with yourself during the writing process ;) It's easy as the artist to only see the flaws in the artwork but it's important to still treat it nicely and with respect, art is a part of us and therefore a little part of you! I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job, my friend! Thanks a lot and I wish you only the best of the very best!! xx
6:00 - I understand you. So will other people on the autism/ ADHD spectrum. You’re describing my experience with most people. I’ve found the same thing is true with autistic creators here on RU-vid. We need to turn to people like us for support. Imagine trying to support a neurotypical person. It’s not going to work most of the time. They need other neurotypical people for community and support. We need other autistic people. The problem is, we are a small minority of the population. It was very difficult to find each other before social media and RU-vid type online spaces existed. It’s easier nowadays thank god. It’s still hard, but it’s getting better. You’re a beautiful soul. Dont give up. Ever. No matter how hard it gets. You’re not alone.
2:55 totally relate to this. it’s awful when there is NO ONE with whom you can be completely yourself. some people don’t fully understand that it can extend even to family. thank you for sharing :)
I'm a 22 year old guy. I don't have autism, but I have ADHD, and I relate to quite a bit you described here. As long as I can remember I always felt like I was fundamentally different than those around me. It's kinda better now, but I doubt I'll ever be totally rid of it. Honestly, I wonder if ADHD is truly the root cause of this, or if I'm high functioning autistic. Anyways, you are a beautiful soul. I'm wishing you the best of luck. I hope you can find people who are as genuine as you. I also hope I can find more people who can accept me for me. Thank you for making this video.
It will get better, I promise. You'll learn ways to be authentic and to strive. It may take years, maybe 15 years, but you'll get there, I promise that you'll learn. If you truly love yourself, you will find ways ♥️
As a late diagnosed woman on the spectrum, I congratulate you on sharing your experience and story. I can relate to so many things you have said. Keep being your wonderful self x
I’m a mother to a wonderful daughter. I stumbled across this. Consider myself neurodiverse but don’t meet the criteria for Autism. My daughter’s and your life story are very similar. I was deeply touched by your courage speaking so honestly about your life and your experiences. I also see the spark in you wishing to see the good whilst being honest about the bad or downright traumatic. Your authenticity is a beautiful thing but I understand completely why you would mask and the burnout as a consequence. Non-autistics have a long way to go and a lot to learn. I agree with you about non-autistic people needing to do better, especially in labelling language, education and the working environment. It’s not fair and so much suffering has happened because of ignorance and a lack of compassion. I’m sending you best wishes and my admiration/respect ❤
Thanks a lot for your beautiful comment, it touches my heart! Just for being here and listening, TRULY listening I think you're doing an amazing job! Thanks so much for your support and all the love, wishing you a lot of love to you and your daughter!
I’ve always been low masking. A punk growing up so I didn’t care about being liked… until I got into adulthood and realized I needed new friends (thankfully, I have amazing best friends, because I met them when I was little, they just happen to live far away from me). I consider myself a social person, I like being around people, but man, socializing is HELL. Now that I know I’m autistic, I look back a kid me, teenage me, and I understand so many things I didn’t back then… like why I’ve always been so bad at small talk (like it feels physically painful) so I would just avoid it in the first place… but the problem was I came out mean to other people when I didn’t mean to… Most of my friendships and romantic relationships started like “I thought you hated me at first!”
Im not diagnosed with autism. I do have ADHD. I suspect I may have high-masking autism. Or "female-type" autism, even though Im a guy. Its kind of a dumb thing to call it female-type... Anyway. You mentioned the necessity of having a certain personality type and I... Yeah. I have a Bachelor's in Journalism. I have a passion for helping people, but Journalism is an incredibly aggressive field. I'm not very good at being aggressive. I really struggle to read social situations. It feels like when you're in the workplace in general, you have to not only do a good job (which can be hard already because of... Gosh thats a whole other ballgame) but you have to "look" right. You have to appear like you "fit." The only time I got hired into a prestigious job, the woman who hired me was married to an autistic man. She was the only person in management who really believed in me, and I just worked how I wanted to and my work exceded my predecessor. After she left the company it wasn't long until I was let go. These days, I've found that teaching is pretty compatible with my brain. I love helping people understand things. I'm currently in my Masters program. Sorry for the long comment, I just thought I'd tell you that your story resonated with me. I am a strongly creative person too. Maybe that helped the connection.
Wishing you luck with teaching! Man vs woman autistic people are different a lot of the time, true! What I like to say is that it's a spectrum, it looks different for everyone! Thanks for your support!
Thank you for sharing a bit of your experience being on the spectrum. I’m also an autistic girl/woman and I relate to everything you have expressed. I wish I was brave enough to share my experiences via RU-vid. You seem like an awesome interesting person, if I would have met you in real life I'm sure I would love to be your friend. 💗 A reflection: maybe why we feel such a “wall” between us and others are because of they aren’t “meant” to be our nearest friends. Maybe we need to find other people who have the same “neurotype” ? I don’t have much experience of that, but it would make sense if neurodivergent individuals need to be with each to not feel this alienated feeling. It almost feels like I talk another language than the people who aren’t autistic.
your reflection makes a lot of sense, i always say sometimes rejection is protection!! thank you for sharing and being here, you are also right; it took me a lot of courage to post this ahahaha!! much love to you and thanks for supporting me so kindly
I love this video. Thank you for talking about your struggles and for being so honest and natural. I am also autistic and suffer from another disorder (I know autism is not exactly a disorder but it's still called autism spectrum disorder so I refer to it as such sometimes) and I've always struggled with my mental health in a country where people are extremely ignorant and as long as you're not dripping saliva on the floor and are unable to talk or think, you look like a completely fine person. This has made it impossible for anyone to understand a high functioning autistic person, constantly masking, constantly doing incredibly well at school without even trying, but struggling to do the most basic stuff. Most won't believe me if I told them that I'm autistic, yet, my whole life I've been always called special, crazy, weird, quirky, alien, which is quite contradictory. I have lived a life in constant stress, anxiety, burnout, mental breakdowns, solitude and isolation from the world, constantly felt like I am a complete stranger to this world and only living in my head. I'm finally making the big steps to seek proffesional help, for my other disorder that is very time consuming, but it'll be a long way and I am sure that there won't be a big change to my life, yet I need even the smallest help if I wanna continue dragging myself through burnout. Thank you for your video, it's these stuff that help me feel understood and that remind me that I am not a failure, but I've only been given very different challenges in life. (Although I wish these type of challenges were not so hard to percieve by others) I apologise for the long comment. This video really made me want to speak up my mind as well.
Congrats for seeking help, it can be scary but definitely a good way to assist you! You deserve to be helped and validated, and if anything validate YOURSELF! Know that what you feel and what you are going through is valid, is real, and it's ok! You are still valuable and worthy of all the beautiful things you could possibly wish for! I understand you and I see you, keep going forward on your journey and embrace going at your own pace without shame or guilt! I wish you love, peace, healing and a lot of support, you deserve it! I read 99.9% of my comments and almost ALWAYS answer, don't worry about it hahahah, I appreciate you speaking your mind and I value your voice :) Hope you'll feel the same
Most allistics, when asked to name a famous Autistic person (assuming they are able to come up with any), will answer Elon Musk or Temple Grandin (two deeply toxic people who are terrible examples of our neurokin). They might also name dead celebrities who were never formally diagnosed (like Einstein or Mozart). When I think of notable Autistic public figures, the first people who jump to mind for me are the Autistic activists and creators I respect (Paige Layle, Chloe Hayden, Ember Green and NeuroDivergent Rebel being just some examples).
Hi, fellow 20 something autistic here (self diagnosed), I found this video very relatable and I appreciate the authenticity without all the sparkle and glamour. RU-vid content creators have helped me a lot over the past year to learn about this "disorder" I believe I have and I look forward to watching more of your videos. 👍
