The truth about LONELINESS in Thailand 

"I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It’s not. The worst thing in life is ending up with people who make you feel all alone." ~ Robin Williams

I lost my job in Australia 3 months ago, 53 yrs old, past visitor to Thailand many times, I'm lucky to even talk to a shop assistant for 30 seconds, very isolated in a city of 1 million. Ytube has become my main source of contact with people now in the comment section if I get an answer.

Been in Thailand for six years. Never been lonely once. Sometimes I get bored but never lonely.

I never got married because I saw my parent's relationship as a kid. I actually love my own space and it would be very difficult for me to share my life and compromise with somebody. I see how miserable my married clients are. 50% got divorced and more than 50% of the other half only stay together because of the children, financially cannot afford to split or are too lazy and put up with it.

I’ll shortly be moving to Thailand. Not really concerned about being lonely. I do yoga in the morning, read a book, learn Thai, hit the gym in the afternoon, watch Netflix, visit orphanage twice per week and donate some food, play pool (don’t drink or smoke) and learn to cook more.

Loneliness is fundamental in every country, not just in Thailand, people don't communicate any more, too busy staring in to their phones and how can you have a profound conversation with the local Thai people? You'll always feel like an outsider.

Most vloggers don't talk about uncomfortable subjects like loneliness but you did and thanks for that. Great video and very educational. 👍👍👍👍

I've been lonely in the US for the last few years. I hope to move to Thailand next year. I can't imagine I'd be more lonely than here. It's worth a shot. I also watch Brett Dev. He says he talks to his neighbors more in Chiang Mai than he did in 10 years in Essex, UK and he doesn't speak Thai.

It doesn’t matter where you are if you are lonely it’s something you gotta fix in you

Fortunately, I have always been comfortable with my own company. I have about three ex-pats I consider friends in Pattaya and see them occasionally. I can see how loneliness can be a problem. I notice some neighbors in my condo community who stay inside and I never see them go out. At the young age of 66, I find myself in better shape and physical health than I have been in decades. I go to the gym multiple times a week and enjoy long bicycle rides. I may go to a bar once a month. Several times a week I have breakfast with a young German ex-pat and look forward to those times. After three years here, I have no plans to leave.

Loneliness among ex pats is as real as alcoholism. Perhaps both are linked.

I think it depends if your an introvert or an extrovert, I’ve been here 2 and a half years and I’ve never been lonely. I’ve lived in Colombia for 5 years so have experience of living in another country too. Spanish is a much easier language to learn, but Thai is so difficult. I guess Philippines is better to live, as they all speak English to some degree, but it’s still a different culture, have lived there also for a year or so. What keeps me here in Thailand is my Thai girlfriend, we seem to have a good relationship and I’am still happy to be here. Now I’am a lot older and don’t have to work life is so much easier, now looking forward for my daughter and a friend are coming here, it will be fun to show them my life here!

Appreciate you feel lonely at times. But if you are living in a country you should be able to speak Thai after 10 years. Otherwise what would you really expect.?. I'm not having a go. But being lonely is a state of mind and you can be lonely in your own country.

Often alone but never lonely, been in Thailand for 11 years. Don't drink or smoke. Gym and running daily. Plenty of Thai friends and foreigners who live here and come here... I speak Thai quite well, easy to learn and can be fluent in 6 months to 1 year depending on your learning ability. So I guess experiences may vary. I'm 34 and I love this place. Always something to do and all my good friends are like minded and healthy... we train together, travel, eat good food... I think you're only limited by your own mind to be honest. Get yourself out there and experience life, keep positive people around you and you should for the most part feel happy and stay positive. Cheers!

I lived in rural Philippines out in the middle of nowhere Mindanao & despite Philippines having a high level of English speakers, out in the middle of nowhere Mindanao the people are not educated. I was 5 hours by car away from the nearest small city, 7 hour car drive the the nearest large city. House full of 10+ uneducated Filipinos at all times & most of them can't speak English. The other few who could speak it, didn't speak it very well. I ended up EXACTLY as you described, terribly, horribly lonely & started drinking more & more heavily to the point of turning yellow... I started suffering from liver damage. I had to leave my Filipina wife & 1 year old daughter there, she refused to come with me but I had to leave or else I would have either committed suicide or died from liver failure. Returned to my home country & spent the next 3 years sobering up. I wanted to learn their language but after I learned about 30 words, my wife was not being helpful teaching me, often making fun of my accent or acting like teaching me was too much of a hassle for her.. despite her not having anything else to do.. she doesn't work & I paid for a live-in nanny/housekeeper so she didn't even take care of our daughter or clean.. Lazy b*tch.

I'm happy to tach Thai to anyone who wants to learn. I'm English and been here since 2003

I know this is an old video, but thank you for posting it. I've been nomading for just under a year now and for the most part it's been fine but I'm starting to feel the loneliness now, even though I'm fine with my own company it's starting to get me down a bit. I'm not a drinker and don't really like drunk people when sober (who does?) so I avoid bars and most women I meet can't speak any English so yeah, it's tough and I thank you for acknowledging it.

The great amplifier of loneliness is boredom. No matter where you live you need things to be passionate about. So many guys now seem to have no hobbies. Stay out of the bars...learn the local language (you dont have to reach fluency)...keep busy.

Great to find your channel mate. I'm a Scotsman living in Australia. Been here 21 years and I still can get lonely. I have been in Thailand for 4 months on and off this year. I enjoy Pattaya yet I don't drink or rarely do. I enjoy the best of both worlds. 25 Bhat for my Thai milky tea and 120 for fry up with cup of tea. I'm looking to travel around more when I come back in February next year but I'll still pop on down to Pattaya, well Jomtien. Night time I walk and find a local place to eat. Love it.

Excellent content. I live 50/50 Bangkok / Brisbane and even I get lonely sometimes. The need for quality conversation is really important

I’ve been living in Pattaya for two years. Best thing I ever did was get an I watch, big iPad, iPhone. Stay active with a morning and a late afternoon/evening walk, it’s too hot between noon and 530, you’re going to be in your room reading your iPad/napping so get used to it. I don’t speak any Thai and in my early 60s I’m just not going to, I had Hispanic employees in the US and I could never learn Spanish. I admire and envy people who can speak Thai but it’s just not gonna be me.

👏👏I am just happy to see you back on RU-vid , i have just subscribed and thumbs up .Good man 😉

Yes, definite isolation. I have lived in Thailand for about 3 1/2 years and for almost that long with a Thai woman that does not speak English. I am lonely and watch RU-vid videos quite a bit. Drinking wine, sake and gaining weight eating quite a bit. Thinking about going somewhere else to live that speaks my language. Thanks for posting the video.

I just subscribed from your other channel. I throw in my 2 cents. A lot of Thai living channels do the same content; condo tours and costs, walking videos, girls, etc. I'd like to know the basics; how to get around, what areas a new expat should start at, how to hire a cab, transportation options, health insurance, etc. Thanks.

I wish I was still there and never left there in 2015, so many great memories Dave

Great video and infomation.

I've been alone here in the U.S. for 4 years. I'm definitely wanting a change. I've experienced the same thing you're talking about in Mexico. I can speak some Spanish but when I got around several locals talking to each other. I couldn't understand much of what they was saying. I've subscribed to the new channel Mr. D. Thanks for your insight.

Good video Dave ... some things that we need to think about.

Interesting video. I have been married to a Thai for 16 years and we live in England, but when I go to the Thai village I feel like a spare part to be honest. Living in the village would definitely drive me to drink even though the people are very friendly. Generally without discipline in Thailand - financial, moral and health/drinking etc you won’t survive long and I have seen so many go off the rails there because they lacked discipline.

Im Danish man, just retire in thailand. been here 7 months, after the "honeymoon" feeling i start have the loneliness feeling..many times actually, so i think about the life in Denmark, i also feel the loneliness there..And think where you want to be lonely, home country or Thailand, and then i still want be in thailand, people are generel more easy going here.

I'm currently in China and trust me, I would rather be lonely in Thailand than China. I have to deal with anti-foreigner hate everyday here. I'm heading to Thailand in January 2023. I seriously cannot wait.

Heartfelt video. I can see how loneliness could definitely be something a non-Thai man might experience in Thailand. Thank you for the insightful forthright content. I don't think my situation/experience would apply since I would be part of the "be in Thailand a few months each year" category rather than the "living in Thailand full time" category, but I was never lonely in Thailand. I had friends (some Thai, some not) but I craved solitude, rest, and peace. Other than meeting women, I loved the solo groove I had in Thailand. I would wake up around 14:00 or 15:00, shower, hit the gym, shower again, head out to eat (and, if necessary, run errands), then return to the condo and take another shower, and then my friend would come over between 18:00 and 19:00. After she left, I would shower again and another friend would either come over or I would go meet her (this was usually somewhere between 21:00 and 23:00 sometimes later or earlier), then she would leave. I would shower again and then, depending on how I felt, I might head our into that velvety Thai night between midnight and 1:00 (or later) and meet up with another friend. By the time all was said and done, and the final shower was taken, it would be around 3:00 or 4:00 and I would relax, drink, listen to music, look out at the lights of Bangkok, write, post comments, reflect on the experiences I had, edit photos, correspond with folks overseas, and just be happy and content (a rare thing for me these days). Then around 6:00 or so, I would head downstairs to inhale a delicious all-you-can-eat free breakfast and then go to sleep. When I first got to Thailand, I traveled all over the country, even going to Laos and Cambodia, and saw all the sights. My day/night consisted of 60% sightseeing and 40% nightlife. By the second and third times I was in Thailand, I woud still enjoy the sights, but it became 10% sightseeing and 90% nightlife with a greater focus on exercising at the gym. I loved it. But I'm different. I heard these longtime expats talk about how they were tired of the constant hookup culture and other complaints they had. I couldn't relate to them at all. Thailand was paradise. And I was so busy trying to stuff things in (might be the wrong term to use...or not) before I had to return to the United States, that I was like a kid in a candy store trying to eat as much candy as I could before time ran out. Now if I lived in Thailand full-time for an extended period, maybe I would get burned out on the constant intimacy with beautiful women, excellent Thai food, and improvement of my health by working out all the time...but I doubt it. Furthermore, I always thought that, in addition to the daily/nightly regimen I outlined previously, I could finally write and publish my Great American Novel. For me, there was no loneliness. But there was the fact that I missed the people and animals I loved back in the United States. So that's why I think that the partial stay in Thailand worked better for me and also prevented me from feeling lonely.

Yes, I can totally Identify with what you are saying there. Upcountry with the wife to be and while at her home, at times felt so isolated because I could only talk with her other than hello and how are you etc.

Thank you for this! There are many things I recognize...

Nice to see you back. Up the ra

Wow. This is an eye opener. Wow. Makes me think. I can feel some stress in your voice. I am speachless. Thinking about this vid.

I can fully relate to this. If you're in a non touristy area you need to speak the language. Another note i was at the local swimming pool. The attendant gave me my change and dropped a coin It was rolling away from me. I put my foot on it to stop it and she went absolutely ballistic at me even though i had my half thai children with me. It was a completely innocent mistake

Good to have you back, missed your vlogs! best of luck with the new channel

I feel bad for you, I worked in Thailand for over three years and can not remember feeling "alone" but to be fair the girl I was dating spoke english very fluently as well as the people I was working with. I suppose had I not had that I could have felt the loneliness. I will be returning early 2023 to visit everyone. Thanks for the video :)

Well done very informative

Wow that's awesome video on the street... look great to share I am your fan 💚💚

Great video thx 🙏

I’m going through this now.

If you are moving to a foreign country to be lonely, why don't you stay home and be lonely? Now if you're lonely in your home country, then move. However, your chances of meeting a nice beautiful woman will increase dramatically if you move to Thailand, the Philippines, Vietnam...etc. because there are many women there who are lonely too looking for a great companion. Cheers and keep your head up guys as best you can.

Where ever you go There you Are! Being Isolated or lonely effects a lot of Retirees due to lack of engagement in their own live. A lot of people don't understand the loneliness you speak of. I have lived in countries where very little or no english is spoken to level you need to have a real intimate conversation with someone or a group of people you can call friends. In Thailand people come and go, very transient place. The live expectancy of a Frang is 3 to 7 years then they go back to their home country and you feel a great loss. Even the clubs you join in Thailand are all transient. So, yes you can develope short time friends that speak english and this will help for the moment. I have never meet anyone in Thailand that is an Frang that actually speaks enough fluent Thai language to acutally hang out all the time to become intimate with a Thai family or parents of their Thai Wife o Thai Husband. Thai is a very challenging language to learn fluently. So, you need a hobby ie.. excercise gym, reading, part time business, etc.. to stay engaged or you will go crazy or become a drunk, if you drink and hang out at bars. It's the same no matte where you go Thailand or your home country. If you don't get a schedule or routine going it will be challenging not to be lonely.

Good to see you back

Yes I believe there is a lot of truth to what you are saying. I've heard it before and drinking is the #1 down fall and it can take you all the way out. It's something that a man needs to consider if he plans to live in Thailand. That was great advice for a newbie to really consider and make preparations for 👍💯

your channel had a different name. glad I found you again. always appreciate your content 🙏

Your back! Like the new look!😁👍🏽🇹🇭

Glad to see you back mate 👍 🙌🏻 👌 Past is the past

that is the reason, I decided to move to Philippines. Also knew if it was Thailand, learning the language would be a high priority

if you live alone and not sociable, you can get loneliness anywhere including your own country. you just need to figure it out how to deal with it.

Thank you for your job

As a newcomer in Thailand and someone just starting off on RU-vid, I have to admit I’ve been blessed with some great friends like Keis One, Dan the Man, Project bangkok, life if serg, and many others I’ve met because of Keis one … That being said, the life of Nana / Asok is not all that it’s cracked up to be. At first your having fun, but eventually your RU-vid friends or local people end up moving on … in my case as RU-vidrs the guys travel every few weeks, sometimes they are literally all gone somewhere, koh chang, Philippines, laos visa runs etc … then it’s my turn to fo to Cambodia etc … you need to have a strong mind and not let the loneliness creep in because it will affect you for sure. I’ve been lucky to have a wonderful woman here, but nothing is guaranteed. Ive hot rocky patches were all the guys are off somewhere, the woman ain’t speaking to you and your friends are 30 hours by plane away… you walk out your building and all you have in Nana is a bunch of lady boys howling at you, guys trying to get you in there tuk tuk and a fresh batch of indian guys just off the plane. Asok/Nana is a fun but lonely place to live. Thailand is for that matter if you don’t have a good woman … unless of course your chasing every night and hitting the bottle in that case i hope your finances are in check

Boredom is a real problem in Thailand, too. I came there for three months. Was going to write that novel that had always eluded me. Discovered I was not a true, disciplined writer. Damn near lost my mind in the afternoons in Thailand.

Thanks for sharing and making this very important video. I lived in Thailand and can relate to this, yes I was lonely too, but I then learnt the language and I mean the script so I can read, write and speak, not fluent, that takes years, but let me tell you just the routine of learning a few words a day, writing them down, listening out for those words when Thais speak, gives you purpose, also suggest to keep fit, keep away from beer bars, of course the odd night out, restaurant is good, and all the great craft beers, but don't make it your routine, even volunteer, get involved, its the only way, otherwise you WILL hit the booze and wont last long. Like anything, learn, learn, join a group with a purpose, appreciate your new home and try and blend into the culture as much as you can, and this goes for any country. Wish you well.

I’ve just subscribed to your other channel.

ANYONE can be lonely on the moon or in the middle of Manhattan.

This is a great topic, I have not seen anyone talking about it. I can understand how you could feel lonely in Thailand as a foreigner. Probably contributes to alcohol abuse 👍🇦🇺😢

Thai isn’t as difficult as commonly thought - six months of intense study and you can go native and never need speak a word of English. Stay away from expats and expat locations, learn guitar or something in spare time or something like that. Learning the language = learning the culture and there is pretty much no other way.

hi mate, nice to see you back on screen again

I'm more of a loner anyways. Still, I plan my weekends for salsa dancing and even though there's a bit of a language barrier here in Tbilisi, I get more social contact than I can handle. A friend told me the latin dance scene in Bangkok is huge. As long as there is at least one dance studio open, loneliness is the least of my worries. You're right though, sometimes I have one drink too many.

I prefer lonely in Thailand than lonely in the UK. I can speak, read and write Thai and being knowledgeable about the locals --doesn't make it any better! Stay uniformed and enjoy --learn too much and you may regret even coming here! I have children born here otherwise---?? Beware the smile! It's all a con!

Good video so true

its crazy but ive been sat at a bar in soi 4, usually stumble inn surrounded by girls and music and still found myself feeling completely alone. ive been going to thailand for over 12 years on holiday but i would never go on my own, i always travel with friends or family.

You can (or cannot) be lonely anywhere you go! Mostly up to you.

I think most of it is in your head, it all depends on how you deal with it. Having extra money to spend probably helps too.

Good advice. You should take it. If you have the time the best thing to do is start off learning Thai. After all it is THAI-land. Falang, Farang. What does it matter it's what WE are. It's not offensive, just in the mind of the receiver. Remember what the dark people were called "back home"? I guess it was ok then when directed to others. Time to enjoy and embrace the Thai and their culture, there's always other choices.

..you got yourself a new sub.

When ~I wake up I roll over and have a rumpty bumpty with the lady I found the prev night... Back home I could'nt do that and would be feeling really lonely

It happened everywhere, it happened to me the same in my country Belgium, i knew the loneliness in my own country 😉😉

I saw this headline and watched it coz i'm feeling lonely in Phuket.

I have never felt lonely in the 20 years i have been going to Phuket, , everywhere i go bars,massage,beach reaustrants always have had good conversations with the thai people in English

Just about to make the change and it is something that concerns me. Was in Thailand for three months earlier this year and yes I missed Aussie food and no one to talk about the meaning of life and sorting out the worlds problems. As much as I love talking to my wife it's never that deep.

Welcome back.. wondered what happened to you fella..l reckon that's why alot of people make RU-vid vlogs.. keeping up with your culture etc.. isolation is a bit of a killer for many people..

You are right about loneliness.

you are dealing with a subject that few people have dealt with....is it a taboo for expatriates? personally i lived in thailand in 2012 for 6 months i worked for a big french hotel i was a cook and it's true that after 4 months i felt the loneliness even the europeans who live there you have to find the good ones you have to have the same free time but we I still feel lonely...I never understood how people manage to live 5 or 10 years in Thailand with this lifestyle...me from the 4th month don't laugh he managed to talk to myself what do I do when my 6-month contract ended, I was happy to return to Paris... if one day I come back to Thailand, it will be for a vacation of 1 month or 2 months maximum....

Why do you feel lonely? The majority of people can not even enjoy themself. That is the fact, cause in this ever fast changing environment we live in and all the distractions with Social Media, Internet, News etc. it is easy to fall into this trap. I love to be on my own and I work on my dreams, life is cool. Don't be a Snowflake, my mentor would say. Learn to deal with yourself and enjoy the peace on being alone. Simple as it is! Thanks anyway for sharing your thoughts, just wish you a happy self development and inner peace.

10 years and not speaking Thai! C'mon man!! You'd be not happy about foreigners doing that back home.

Oh so very true

Yes, After living in Pattaya for SIX years I know what you mean !! Well, said..

I’ve watched that many vids about Thailand to try and get the courage to actually make the move . What do you suggest ?

What about forming a lodge or club? I was in Taiwan working and met an ex-pat there, they had an organization where they would meet up and do things. Now this was a "drinking" club, kind of to excess if you ask me, as when you were there you could not have an empty glass, lol. And you could only get up to get more beer, pee or puke, lol. I'm not saying this is the way to go, lol. Arrange it how you will. But it could be an excuse to do things together, travel around, eat/drink at different bars, etc., do sports, etc. I am sure that if you are feeling it, others are also.

Great advice something to really consider I think This is a serious consideration that people have to have so they don’t end up being part of the Pattaya sky diving club

I think when I hopefully move next year , the language is a priority I’m learning now , but it’s not easy. Loneliness for a Farang even when you have a partner is going to be a tough gig .. I would hope to meet a few non Thai at somepoint ..

I can do a month but no more, it's a holiday place for me, my life is in Australia.

you are a funny guy, I like your videos. No, I don't feel lonely, I just sometimes feel annoyed by spending too much time with my girlfriend. But learning this thai language is a good deal

I lived in the sticks/village with Thai girl friend on her families small durian/rubber tree farm in chumpon/sawi area for around 4 months and a yeah....very lonely there.... lol...no tv...had internet but some times power out....no one speaks English or very little so yes need to learn Thai to live in village for any length of time, or may as well stay home and be lonely and bored...She likes the village life...I kinda like it but not speaking the language is big negative...

good vlog .....

I know what you mean about language. I live Canada and had a Taiwanese friend who invited me to her leaving dinner. When I went it was all Taiwan people speaking Mandarin, I just sat there like a spare prick at a wedding.

Welcome back Paddy.... How you cutting 🍻😎

I've been over here too for 11 yrs. And, I still find the Farang term a bit insulting lol So, yep funny how you said that lol. It is a weird one because it's how us as westerners take it.

He can't speak Thai but is pissed of by a Thai word because he misunderstands the use and exact meaning. Priceless. How would you even have conversations when you even get pissed of by a neutral word ? Correct that you live in a parallel word if you don't speak the language. That's what I like about it : because I speak, read and write Thai, I see foreigners who can't as complete outsiders in a paralel world who barely have a clue. But part of the foreigners are still able to have a happy life without knowing Thai, because they have the right attitude. Basic Thai knowledge is still "not knowing Thai".

Yes have money you will have friends

Can you make a video about cost of living in Bangkok? How much a single man would need? And give options from modest to more expensive?

you got to be a bit of a loner to survive here , thai people have no interest in deep conversation . you gotta keep busy with projects and fitness , no boozing because your bored . Many expats have issues / highly opinionated / arguementative / pussywhipped /trapped in shitty marriages /and will drag you down making you feel depressed and pissed off for days after being in their company , find people who are energetic or who will make you laugh ,and cheerful positive outlook people who do stuff .

I'm kinda a solitary guy but at least when I go to my local Walmart they speak English.

I'm 45 ... I can read and write Thai now. I can speak a bit. I got 20 more years to learn before I retire. :P

That's why I visit Thailand but live in the Philippines...

State of mind...