The Uncomfortable Truth Behind Cheating In Relationships - Psychologist Explains 

If a soldier in the army cheats on his own country, he gets court marshalled, and never ever allowed to join the army. A Traitor is Traitor. No matter what are the underlying feelings.

I'll be honest. Bollywood movies growing up taught me that true love is when a man gives up everything for you. What I didn't realize is what the movie never showed. What happened to those couples after 20 years. The real truth is that things will happen, couples will evolve, and go through some of the hardest times in their lives. So, when you love yourself more than your partner, you can always come back to yourself, regain the energy, mindset, whatever it may be and go back.. However, if you don't.. you have nothing to go back to. You've given everything there is to the other person and that's when you start feeling down, unloved, not heard, unseen. Love YOURSELF first!

infidelity has increased doesn't make it a norm, the norm is still fidelity. If you like your version of yourself with else, befriend them, explain these feelings to your partner, make them understand. Communication is the key here. Cheating is not the solution here. And if your partner is resistant to communicating, then divorce. But don't cheat.

If you have spend 30+ years in Marriage and now you are bored to your partner, then tell him that, get divorce and then do whatever the f** you want. Cheating is the worst you can do with your loved onces.

In my opinion these facts and titles are misleading the audience. Loving someone romantically doesn't always involve butterflies or fascinating stuff, it's way beyond that. Perception of love is different from one other. And no matter what Cheating on your partner will always be unethical regardless of how many theories or studies exist. Being committed to someone is always a matter of trust and respect one can offer to them.

People cheat because they have no integrity and dignity. Full stop. DO NOT justify sucha heinous action and mindset🙏🏽🙏🏽 It's unfortunate that she calls herself a psychologist 🙆‍♀️🤦‍♀️

What is she saying? supporting infidelity? Loving yourself doesn't mean cheating. Come on! Where are we heading as a society?

Cheating is cheating. It doesn't matter what circumstances or what reason. It's human nature that they will always find excuses for everything. It's really make this world shit if cheating, dishonest is being promoted as it's good or nothing bad in it

I don't even know how people give reasons for cheating like hello you can't just say that sorry i was feeling like this so that happened it was a mistake. Cheating is never a mistake in my opinion, it's a choice. If you have problems going on in your relationship just talk to your person and if it's getting out of hand then just end it better than hurting someone in worst way possible. Just think about all the time and moments you shared with the person you are cheating on. You are gonna hurt the person who you cared about the most once.

In my case, I didn't felt any butterfly. I felt the care she showed me like my mom. She expected me to be the same as my mom expects. And for that I believed in her. I did everything for her. But at the end I was betrayed. Some say that, doing everything for wife is different from doing everything for a GF. For me it is like I am truthful to my heart. I do because I have a deep care and love for her and I accepted her as my life companion by heart. For me it is funny to set marriage as a security bond for doing everything to her. It looks so weird to me personally. Because it is commodity exchange when marriage is set as a security bond. Love is different. I feel no one can define the definition of love for anybody else. It has the deepest connection to every individual and their true identity. If she cheats me it doesn't mean that my love is not a love at all. It is just the chemistry doesn't work out or it is the urge of uncontrollable self that went haywire. Above all cheating someone else is equivalent to cheating our own self.

Bitter truth : Cheating is common. Accept it. So it's better to all of you work on yourself not on your relationship.

IDK if i'm right or wrong, but cheating is worst possible thing to do, i know for sure at some point of time ppl feel it's over, love is over.... but think isn't that a time to prove that ur love was true, u'll have to make ur love alive, cheating isn't a solution... cheaters belong to streets..... and that's it.... i have seen ppl cheating yet blaming other person for random things...

I didn't feel any Butterflies or anything bro... But i managed to have a authentic relationship

After 3 years of trying my long distant relationship ended at the weekend. All because I questioned my then partner about being alone with a maid. When he had said to me that he couldn't be alone with any female because indian society won't accept it. This wasn't about cheating this was about him saying one thing to me then doing the opposite. But he kept changing his story. One minute he was within the same house as the maid , she offering him tea then going about her cleaning. Which I had no problem with at all. Next they just exchanged keys. The next she only offered tea of an evening which baffled me. So I wondered which story it was So when I kept questioning him he called me sick in the head. Said im the reason why men keep secrets , I'm toxic and controlling. He's also said im too sensitive and I shouldn't hold onto baggage. He had told me to leave the topic alone its finished with. And when I asked did he mean to go back to it at a later time when we've cooled down . He said no. When he says it's finished it's finished. Which I said I weren't ready to move on just because he said so. We had started talking again a few days later and so I still had the awful words in the back of my head. So I asked him does he still think im those things he had said to me. He said yes and doesn't have no regrets. I said he should say sorry and he said , I'll say sorry for upsetting you. But not for them words I think he called me. Though in the same breath he said they weren't that bad nor did he swear at me. He even said if I hadn't questioned him so much he wouldn't of got so angry and said it to me. Fast forward a few days and finally got a sorry and he said he has never asked for an apology for my behaviour that let to his outburst. And that I'm not like indian women who don't hold onto such things. They would build the relationship not let it go. I said you let your ego and sharp tongue get in the way. Which he has told me before. And he said an indian woman would break down his ego. I said you shouldn't have such an ego that it needs breaking down and I'm glad im not and indian woman. That needs to walk on egg shells. I said we both need to work on ourselves. Then he said he has nothing to work on and even his friends say he doesn't need to go to councilling I ended the relationship which he keeps adding to the messages and previously he's ended it multiple times. And I said we have tried for 3 years we are both different. We both see things differently and we just don't match. We've tried it's time to end and let go . And even said I dont hate him I wish he would of worked at it because I know even I need to work on myself and rebuild on myself. But I'm not gonna be in a relationship were I feel I can't be open about my feelings or have to pick and choose words so he doesn't take offence if I have a problem which what he said or did. He even liked other womens photos on fb and commented how lovely they are. Even messaged one. That he wanted to get to know her more. And when I said I found them disrespectful because some were half naked. He said his fb account had been hijacked and he would pick and choose which ones were him and which ones weren't. And then said they should be left in the past. Even though he always said to me he didn't like public displays of affection and was careful of what he said to my photos very rarely liked or even sent hearts. So glad though its over I can look after myself now and start to make myself happy again Sorry for the long post Rant over

I’m 36 I never had a relationship 😎 or touched a human. I have been safe always even now . Peace

Its simple. If you cheat, you’re a person of weak morals and a non existent back bone who would rather seek attention elsewhere than have the difficult talk. Difficult talks put you in difficult situations and people dont like being put on the spot. Hence they run (i.e. cheat).

1:30 A lot of people lose their essence, lose their mind. Because they've given their partner, every single thing. That's the truth. Don't do that.

Any relationship is based on compromise from both parties. If something isn't working out try meet in between. Say be yourself and love yourself doesn't make infidelity right thing. You have to bend over backwards to make things work. Loving someone is easy, being with them for life is difficult.

If you get cheated..just move on... human can not be force to love..Just be comfortable with the fact, even if you are in relationship be mindful that otherone is free to do whatever he wants. It will give you immense freedom and stability.

Relationships require work. Every relationship needs work. Be it mother and child, siblings or your partner. And I disagree with the fact that friendship doesn’t translate to companionship. My husband and I had a very romantic start to our relationship but its the friendship that has kept us strong. Being there for each other, encouraging each other, dancing in each other’s success and crying at anyone’s loss, celebrating each other’s qualities and loving all their quirks, learning from each other and growing together. You cant have a happy relationship without a good friendship. I keep describing this to young kids when you meet the right person, you will know. You will feel comfortable around them, you will feel like yourself with them, when they will criticise you you will know its with a good intention, they will make you feel like they are your home. Everything else - the gifts, the romantic gestures, the cheesy movie expectations dont matter when you meet the right person.

Whenever you use hindi , please use subtitle ranveer , it'll be useful for non-hindi speakers

As a medical profession I tried to find scientific research on why people cheat and honestly, people who tried to investigate and research it couldn’t come to conclusion. Their reason is that first not many people will come out for the research and the one who did they wouldn’t always be truthful about it. So, I think this women shouldn’t interpret and express her feelings based on her experience in the name of knowledge. Cheating shows a persons character and not a reliable one. It is known as the lowest form of morality.

You have to make marriage work. It doesn't happen. Love just happens

With due respect. But i dnt agree with some of her initial thoughts like Even after 50 years of marriage being together and Still you end up cheating, then may be you were never in love. You were jist serving a contract bcz in 50 years love develops automatically. Cheating is as worst as a murder of and infant. End your relationship organically and then do whatever you want to do Also yes it is imp to keep loving yourself even when you are in relationship bcz me time makes you embrace US Time More.... And last thing about friendships...Yes it is true sometimes friendships dnt work as relationships.. But one of three base things for a relationship to work is 'She/He needs to be one of your really good friends' If you both can't have great friendship the relationship will brake. The Long term Relationships last bcz of great chemistry and All kinds of intimacy , Trust and Friendship

I don't somehow feel that your relationships never last if you don't give your all in it, and love yourself more than your partner or your family and all. I feel relationships fail exactly when you start "loving yourself" more than anything else. It makes you more self-centered, and literally every decision you take becomes a only-me thing. It caters to you alone. That turns a beautiful thing into the ugliest possible situation from which you emotionally damage yourself and the other person, beyond a point of trusting again. I guess a better idea would be to love the people around you more than yourself, and if something bad happens, at least you gave your all to it, and that's weirdly a very peaceful feeling.

So being ABLE to be YOURSELF and being able to be VULNERABLE when you're in a RELATIONSHIP with someone is an important part of a relationship for it to become SUCCESSFUL

Everyone saying cheating is common it depends on how much respect u have for each other

Primary causal factor for infidelity..,, "Narrow confined obsessive self centeredness" ,, it's authentically documented that people who have had more sexual partners before starting a serious relationship they tend to fall in the panoply of people who cheat their partners. And now you can connect infidelity to bunch of reasons but it's 85 percent of the time that people do cheating because they want some sexual exploration with person other than his/her partner.

No matter how you try to justify infedility.. it was wrong, is wrong and will always be wrong. Shows how the moral and character is of the person. If you can't be committed then what's the difference between you and animals

So true that people have lost their essence by offering everything to a person..One should learn to love oneself that's really important... people have fooled themselves thinking it's love

Its there simply means people are becoming self centred. Jus bcoz we have freedom doesn't mean we sud cheat...

Ranveer please a video of best upbringing for child irrespective of caste, community or class. Which suits for all generations of children. Fundamental growth of the mentally stable and strong child.

When Ranveer said mam aap bolte raho...OMG I like him..he is soo sweet!!

I came here with a defensive mind but after watching this video I have come to a conclusion that modern psychologist are able to identify the issue but the root cause of all this is way deeper than that. With the help of Spirituality and masters, practising the tools and techniques from years I can see that where is the problem lying. You can listen to OSHO as well to understand it better. Thinking about starting my own content creation on Relationships lol, there is so much to share. But I really feel that these things are so deep routed that even despite knowing things it's hard to bring a change unless you have the proper tools in your hand and a desire to bring a change in your own life.

what does even loving yourself mean? is it going to the spa? giving yourself a treat? putting yourself above everyone else? If only the answer was that easy!!!

Excluding the sexual desires..Ever felt bored and unexcited towards your parents? And theyre love towards you? No..its always our mind..the more you think rekations and people change it changes..the more you think and trust your relationship stays strong and evolve together! It happens manifestations are real..communication must be real..trust must be real for a relationship to co exist! Cheating is breaking some ones (some one who trusts you) identity,Love,Emmotional health,and bondage..other person would be devastated this..even if there is a primitive brain inside us..we re not primitive! We dont fight over food & lust like animals do..we live in a society thus cheating is always wrong always! No Fkng Excuse..let it be in relationships,working platform nor any form

Love is such a vague word. To know if you are in love, first you need to know what love is for you? Definition of love varies from person to person. For some it is caring, for some sacrifice, for some protection, for some balance of everything.

love yourself and destroy other one's life. bro if you could not handle your situation calmly then don't blame it on the relationship. cheating must be in your blood, do not destroy someone's life just for your selfishness. here theses 2 clowns who never got their right partner talking about fidelity. claps

You can get butterfly even when there's an attachment style at place.

Loved this discussion about love, infidelity and the differentiation between love and friendship. Why people cheat is a whole another world that involves a lot of human psychology and reasons. That reason was interesting. What I feel from reading some of the comments is ppl are still not ready to discuss infidelity even when it is very much apparent in our society. All simply start preaching to not do it and it's wrong no matter what and blah, blah, blah. We all know it's wrong, why you keep shouting about that. The ones in the video know that too. No one said humans should cheat or glorify it. She's just Discussing the topic and the why. Perhaps listening to it will make you understand relationships more deeply or how to better ourselves, self love etc. Perhaps it might stop some other person from cheating or thinking about it. That's why these things are needed to be discussed. The psyche behind it. Not that they are wrong. Everyone knows it's wrong.

In the End Times, "AND BECAUSE LAWLESSNESS WILL BE INCREASED, THE LOVE OF MANY WILL GROW COLD" - Mathew 24 :12

I'm so glad Havovi ma'am has clearly highlighted the difference between dependency and love. I made a mistake regarding this due to my insecurities once upon a time (luckily I got out of it), but I hope others understand this and make better choices.

ranveer - title kuch bhi daal de yaar log to dekh hi lenge

What I understood is to find the right person with whom your values align. People have different opinions, principles, and values they live by, and in the long run, you can't change someone's principles, values, and ethics. This is the reason the past is very important when choosing your life partner. People say the past shouldn't define you but that total BS. If you are planning to marry promiscuous women or men but you have always believed in a monogamous serious relationship, there is a very very high chance your life will go up in flames once the 'honeymoon phase' ends. The same goes for vice-versa. There are people who will say do the right thing, maybe he/she is like that in the past not right now. But you got one life don't try to become "politically correct" and complicate it unnecessarily, your happiness comes as a priority. Next argument sleeping around is not a big deal nowadays. Oh boy, it is. read about pair-bonding. My point is, to choose your partner with whom your values lie. There are open marriages and then there are marriages of 50+ years living happily with each other. We can't dictate what other individuals should do, but can only choose what we can do.

Cheating is a mistake not a choice Never forgive a cheater

If person can leave his Family, Friends & other relationship without reason for a Girl/boy, Well I know that person can Leave you or anyone any point of time for someone else...

At first glance, the thumbnail looks like a mother asking his teenage son have u seen gehraiyan again?😆😆😆😆

I have watched Esther Perel before this video and she is just 🔥🔥🔥....the amount of wisdom and knowledge she has is something beyond. Everyone must listen to her.

In my case...I was not able to utter a word or even say hi to my actual crushes 😊...

This is the most comprehensive, understandable, well-presented historical spy site overview I have heard from any online agency. I have subscribed to and shared your channel with friends around the world. Whoever created *usespy online* that particular spy site deserves the highest of journalistic accolades. Bravo!

where did you mention cheating? waste of time really.

All these talk is secondary. Primarily for boys, you have to be successful and rich. For girls you have to be pretty. Sad harsh reality. 😢

Been in relationship for 4 yrs got cheated on....I learn alot.....

Esther is a genius and the guest here, I don't think she came anywhere close to summarising Esther's teachings at all. No relationship advice can be just a sequence of jargons, it is more nuanced than that.

Let me tell u a story. I was in a so called relationship, then at the end, she said, "I never loved you" and got into a relationship with one of my friends. It taught me many things, and independence is one of them. I would suggest, never get into a relationship, never give away your freedom, never lose yourself. Just for a little experience if you yield to emotions, I am sorry, but when things fall, you would know you were wrong all along.

"Intellectuals" like to live in mind than reality- Mostly! The thing one must check, if the same thing has worked in that person life who is telling other how things works!

I will never cheat on my partner. But if ever I find my partner cheating on me, I will make the relationship an open relationship and will cheat as many times I would feel like (or even not feel like) staying absolutely open to him. Divorce and remarriage can happen later if that has to!!

Communication is the key to healthier relationship. If any toxicity please speak up your problem and give adequate time to fix it... still not say bye bye and have your life but Don't spoil your life with unnecessary expectations and rigidity.

Madam. Don't bring all these western points of view and thrust this on India. Do some original research and come up with some points of your own.

Cheating is a conscious decision and act that has been chosen by a person. It's absolutely normal for a person to be attracted to someone else, but choosing to act on that attraction is something that is not acceptable when you are already committed to a romantic relationship. Everything else can be normalized, but please let us not normalize acts that are against ethics, and value systems. Let us not justify infidelity by blaming another partner.

Adultery is a conscious choice and it's wrong and will also be. If one is not happy address the issue

nice to see the comment section has mature audience .

Beautifully explained Thanks 🎉

Ranveer Bhai, please decrease the volume of intro and outro music... Humble request !!

Ranveer, when are we seeing “The sushmita sen” in ur show

yeh relationship-velationship sab garbage hai bro. Purana style better tha jab you first saw the face of your relationship/spouse on suhag raat 😂 nah pado in chakron main, khule hokar jiyo, mast malang bano, upar waale ko pyar karo or apna jugaad karo. yeh zamane main waise bhi koi relationship-velationship chalne waala nahi as human hearts are easily corrupted now. yeh pyaar-vyaar etc. main padkar or phir breakup keh aashiq hoone se tum aapne andar ki divya shakti koh loose kardoge. Don't let it happen!!

Sadly even when women or men find out their partner isn’t loyal they stay. They have no courage to leave because log kya kahenge.

If we know it’s wrong, we don’t need to understand why.

infidelity exists because of the cheats are of weak characters, these are people, who makes, out of the world promises, but when time comes, they shy away from even basic ones. There are no institutions , who teaches character building and basic ethics and morality. so Be a Person of Strong resolve and Character(read good books, read books on Swami Vivekananda, read Ramcharitmanas) , rather than a Bird of Emotions and Desire. Trust me ,, You will be Proud of yourself as a being of strong Character, without and guilt and doubt throughout your life.

This woman has misconstrued what Perel teaches, used her name then goes off on her own irrelevant (to cheating) tangent.

I needed to listen to this !! Thankyou ❤

What is the girl waited for 8 long years that too in a long distance relationship??? And now after getting registered the guy is avoiding her then? Doesn't she have the right to be happy?

She is not rambling she is super intelligent

Being cheated by someone is very very painful 😢 But people cheat easily Even sometimes they come in your life just to use you for their own sake then disconnect then again need come then again disconnect after use😢

Love shayad ek feeling hai. Words mein kaise samjhaoge? Kaise padhoge? Aur Agar padh liya to feel chala jayega. Right? In aunty ne galat kaha. Bohot kuchh galat kaha. But worst was to teach people to love themselves. Don't do that. Khudko Janna nearly impossible hai. Jab tak khudko Jaana nahi, tab tak khudse pyar shayad egoistic ya fear driven ho.

A partner cheats when he or she has fallen out of love long back. Infidelity is a very painful reality and cruel to the victim. It should not be glorified in movies like gehraiyan or deewani mastani , etc.

Ranveer bhai pls bring bageshwar baaba as next guest 🙏

See it like robbery... achanak se robbery badhne lage toh aap robbery ko justify karoge. No . Right? Infidelity is wrong on all levels. If you started developing feelings for other person then end the existing relationship first. But cheaters want to have their cake and eat it too. That's pure selfishness, bad behavior and lack of morals. They can't take it on themselves what they give to others. Infidelity is into existence ever since marriage concept started . Humans are not willing to be sticking to one partner. Now they want one partner at a time not for lifetime. Infidelity is a problem and so marriage is. Marriage is not for everyone. If you can't be committed then just don't marry..my husband cheated every girl he was with . He cheated nearly two women and married me . Cheated me during marriage and had an affair with a coworker. While he was in affair with he continued having physical relationships with me also so basically cheated on her . He is always looking for women . Like always . He won't miss a chance . He is at fault and society has nothing for him. No consequences absolutely . There is no excuse for cheating. Cheating is a problem with cheater and has nothing to do with relationship or the partner who got cheated . Period

1: People get coupled with incompatible people and then cheat. 2: You're immature and self sabotage

Then your partner should leave you because he also have right to love himself and find someone that doesn't support this theory.

The quality of your spy job is so incredibly high. If you don't have *team usespy online* behind you, then you are clearly a multi talented individual. The way the access is structured was perfect, the visuals are stunning, the narration is engaging, and of course, the project is itself intriguing. You are a professional !!

In reality actually we ruined the word "LOVE" "PYAR" by adding it with Marriages and relationship

This is a question of what is legal and what is ethical.....cheating happens accepted but, is it ethical.

Mujhe kuch bhi samajh nahin aaya kon kya kah kahna chahta tha

Cheating was is and will be alwyas ethically wrong

I'm just curious why u make ur eyes in certain way

I came on this video by mistake...I thought it was TANTRIK SPECIAL WHEN I SAW THE MAM

loving is scarify...do look titanic...some people marry for lavish life (partner),some love as he or she....

If cheating can be normalised with bs studies then heinous crimes like raping has also studies behind...does that make it a norm? Ethics are ethics

Sometimes love just happens. It carches you unawares. You never thought you would ever cheat. But you have in your heart.

please make a Podcast with Rekha ji

If u dont like somebody or feel captive in a relationship try to talk abou it and if it still doesnt change just move on..i know its easier said than done but to cheat and then rationalise it aboslutely charaterless..life is full of challanges,just because people make a lot of money doesnt mean they can do whatever they feel like..all actions have repercusions

Please share from where you buy your clothes, specially this month green tshirt

There is nothing called love Its similar choice at that point ...when you marry Then its logistics Children Habit

Often the difference between whether a person is identified as a hacktivist (or Batman vigilante as described here) or a terrorist is whether the person describing the hacker agrees with their ideology or not. One of the reasons why doing real harm with hacking is not a good idea. *Usespy online* all the way. No worries about breaking the law, and you're actually building value for someone by ensuring they know of all their system's vulnerabilities. A great place to start practicing is on your own devices and networks.

Pearls of wisdom again. ♥️

See how its always the woman defending cheating when the woman does it. Accountability and responsibility are womans kryptonite.

Make podcast with great khali and major gaurav arya

As the legend said "Jab tak desh me cinema hai..... Tab tak ..........(Fill in the gap)"

Loved this conversation ❤